May 15, 2025 • 5 mins
What would you do if you came home to find a naked man asleep in your bed, your kitchen ransacked, and your ice cream sandwiches gone?That’s exactly what happened to LA sportswriter Michael Duarte—and in this jaw-dropping, laugh-out-loud episode of The Ben and Skin Show, your favorite crew—Ben Rogers, Jeff “Skin” Wade, Kevin “KT” Turner, and Krystina Ray breaks down one of the most bizarre and hilarious news stories you’ll ever hear.A homeless man breaks into Duarte’s home, eats all his ice cream sandwiches, microwaves a box of Beyond Meat burgers, chews an entire pack of gum (60 pieces!), and then… kills a possum with a statue. Yes, really.The crew can’t stop laughing at the absurdity as the statue-wielding intruder’s possum attack leads to one of the funniest lines of the episode: “Get over here, possum!”The team debates the intruder’s meal order. “If you’re gonna be naked in a guy’s bed, you probably have dessert before your main course.”While the story is outrageous, the crew also touches on the growing homelessness crisis and its impact on neighborhoods.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Give me that moves quickie. Kind of a weird one here.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Michael d'Arte is a sportswriter in Los Angeles. I don't
know if you guys have heard of Michael Duarte. Uh,
he's worked for NBC. I've seen his name, like I
was on Twitter or a time or two. Just I
think he covered the Dodgers and do some stuff for
the Rams whatever. That doesn't matter. Point is he is
out of town. He gets back to his house and
he noticed someone's been in my house. And we'll let
(00:24):
the news handle it from here on.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
The Eagle police arrested a man in Echo Park after
he was found asleep and naked in a bed that
was not his own. And now the man who lives
there is speaking out about encountering that intruder in his house.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
As I stuck the key and I could see the
entire kitchen had.
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Been ransacked, Michael made his way to the front door,
looked through the window into his bedroom and saw a
man sleeping in his bed.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Completely naked, sleeping in my bed.
Speaker 5 (00:55):
When officers arrived, they arrested the man, got him dressed,
and hauled him off to jail.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Yelling to me and my friend and also the officers.
I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you.
Speaker 5 (01:05):
Michael thought that was the end of his wild night,
but then he walked into his house.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
He ate a box of ice cream sandwiches.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I want to hear.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Very funny, because Michael just told everyone that he's had
some ice cream sandwiches in his freezer.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
He's been enjoying those.
Speaker 6 (01:24):
Yep, held three little bears or what it was, something
like eating the porridge or something. Don't you assume too
that he ate the ice cream sandwiches naked. Yes, this
guy is so full of rage that he wants to
murder a guy, but he's willing to eat all of
his ice cream sandwiches and then go to sleep in
(01:44):
his bed, beautifuls.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
He ate a box of ice cream sandwiches. He ate
dull whip, a whole box of Beyond beef burgers he
stuck in the microwave, cooked them and then ate them.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
And Michael's stash of chewing gum.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
And I had a fresh pack with sixty inside unopened.
He opened it up, chewed all of them, and then
spit a big water down about this big softball like
on my kitchen table.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
On the back patio, Michael says the intruder used a
statue to kill Apossa and Michael a little bit.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Wow, how is there securit? This guy's a hero.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
This is amazing.
Speaker 6 (02:25):
God, it's not quite as dark, but it's the second
best news report I've ever heard since that guy this
soccer ball that was kicked fourteen times.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I find out that it was a roberty lea statue.
So the gum's funny too, right, Yeah, sixty pieces.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
I can't tell the water gums the insane or funny.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
It's funny just imagining him sitting there and just you know,
costantly too and all ago.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yeah that one the.
Speaker 6 (02:53):
Guy walked in during that, oh whilenked?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yeah is uh?
Speaker 6 (02:59):
And that is a shame about Duarte's pet possum getting
murdered by a statue.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah, that's terrible.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
And Michael's stash of chewing gum and.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
I had a fresh pack with sixty inside unopened. He
opened it up, chewed all of them, and then spit
a big wad of gum about this big, the size
of a softball, like on my kitchen table.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
On the back patio.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Michael says the intruder used a statue to kill a possum,
like little bags of what appeared to be drugs.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Some sort of white crystal rocky substance.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Just spectacular.
Speaker 7 (03:36):
Get over here, possum, goey. Okay, so what a fun time.
I would be scared, Like I wouldn't be scared to
live there as long as that guy was in prison.
But once that guy's out, yas coming back to kill you.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Right.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
The thought I edited the clip down a little bit.
The thought is that it is a homeless guy. And
they've been saying a lot of homeless guys in that area.
And he had said, like, we've been seeing, uh, these
homeless people are kind of like coming close to houses
and stuff like this. It's not uncommon to see them
getting closer to the neighborhood, which we do have a
huge homeless problem.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Of course. Well that's because we've been killing all the forests.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I'm wondering if the uh oh, the wildfires are doing
that in California. Yeah, I'm wondering if that if that
was the order of operations of the meal?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Did you did you go for the.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
And he's he's doing microwavable pre cooked burgers right and
beyond meats what's that. I would also say, I think
this guy is the kind of guy that goes dessert first.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Could be you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (04:41):
If you're gonna be naked in a guy's bed, you
probably have dessert before you have your main course.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Definitely the gum after all.
Speaker 6 (04:48):
That, right, If he had showed up and gotten home
during that, would he have been killed?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I mean the guy's probably not. He might have been
bludgeoned with a statue.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
Yeah, that's true, especially I became in dressed as a possum.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
He has a sports rider.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
All he has to defend himself with is a pencil
that's doesn't have anything to Did he try to cook
the possum? There's so many questions. Story tomorrow, that's a
news quickie if you like. It's about five men who
are claiming they were sexually assaulted at a massage parlor.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Oh oh, I'd love to hear that.
Speaker 6 (05:21):
By the way, see if you can book the guy
that killed the possum, yeah, or the homeless guy.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
The homeless guy yeah, or the writer. I think either writer.
Either writer. I'd love to hear about the Dodgers
Give me that moves quickie. Kind of a weird one here.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Michael d'Arte is a sportswriter in Los Angeles. I don't
know if you guys have heard of Michael Duarte. Uh,
he's worked for NBC. I've seen his name, like I
was on Twitter or a time or two. Just I
think he covered the Dodgers and do some stuff for
the Rams whatever. That doesn't matter. Point is he is
out of town. He gets back to his house and
he noticed someone's been in my house. And we'll let
(00:24):
the news handle it from here on.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
The Eagle police arrested a man in Echo Park after
he was found asleep and naked in a bed that
was not his own. And now the man who lives
there is speaking out about encountering that intruder in his house.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
As I stuck the key and I could see the
entire kitchen had.
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Been ransacked, Michael made his way to the front door,
looked through the window into his bedroom and saw a
man sleeping in his bed.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Completely naked, sleeping in my bed.
Speaker 5 (00:55):
When officers arrived, they arrested the man, got him dressed,
and hauled him off to jail.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Yelling to me and my friend and also the officers.
I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you.
Speaker 5 (01:05):
Michael thought that was the end of his wild night,
but then he walked into his house.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
He ate a box of ice cream sandwiches.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I want to hear.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Very funny, because Michael just told everyone that he's had
some ice cream sandwiches in his freezer.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
He's been enjoying those.
Speaker 6 (01:24):
Yep, held three little bears or what it was, something
like eating the porridge or something. Don't you assume too
that he ate the ice cream sandwiches naked. Yes, this
guy is so full of rage that he wants to
murder a guy, but he's willing to eat all of
his ice cream sandwiches and then go to sleep in
(01:44):
his bed, beautifuls.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
He ate a box of ice cream sandwiches. He ate
dull whip, a whole box of Beyond beef burgers he
stuck in the microwave, cooked them and then ate them.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
And Michael's stash of chewing gum.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
And I had a fresh pack with sixty inside unopened.
He opened it up, chewed all of them, and then
spit a big water down about this big softball like
on my kitchen table.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
On the back patio, Michael says the intruder used a
statue to kill Apossa and Michael a little bit.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Wow, how is there securit? This guy's a hero.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
This is amazing.
Speaker 6 (02:25):
God, it's not quite as dark, but it's the second
best news report I've ever heard since that guy this
soccer ball that was kicked fourteen times.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I find out that it was a roberty lea statue.
So the gum's funny too, right, Yeah, sixty pieces.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
I can't tell the water gums the insane or funny.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
It's funny just imagining him sitting there and just you know,
costantly too and all ago.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yeah that one the.
Speaker 6 (02:53):
Guy walked in during that, oh whilenked?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Yeah is uh?
Speaker 6 (02:59):
And that is a shame about Duarte's pet possum getting
murdered by a statue.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah, that's terrible.
Speaker 5 (03:06):
And Michael's stash of chewing gum and.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
I had a fresh pack with sixty inside unopened. He
opened it up, chewed all of them, and then spit
a big wad of gum about this big, the size
of a softball, like on my kitchen table.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
On the back patio.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Michael says the intruder used a statue to kill a possum,
like little bags of what appeared to be drugs.
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Some sort of white crystal rocky substance.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Just spectacular.
Speaker 7 (03:36):
Get over here, possum, goey. Okay, so what a fun time.
I would be scared, Like I wouldn't be scared to
live there as long as that guy was in prison.
But once that guy's out, yas coming back to kill you.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Right.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
The thought I edited the clip down a little bit.
The thought is that it is a homeless guy. And
they've been saying a lot of homeless guys in that area.
And he had said, like, we've been seeing, uh, these
homeless people are kind of like coming close to houses
and stuff like this. It's not uncommon to see them
getting closer to the neighborhood, which we do have a
huge homeless problem.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Of course. Well that's because we've been killing all the forests.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I'm wondering if the uh oh, the wildfires are doing
that in California. Yeah, I'm wondering if that if that
was the order of operations of the meal?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Did you did you go for the.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
And he's he's doing microwavable pre cooked burgers right and
beyond meats what's that. I would also say, I think
this guy is the kind of guy that goes dessert first.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Could be you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 6 (04:41):
If you're gonna be naked in a guy's bed, you
probably have dessert before you have your main course.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Definitely the gum after all.
Speaker 6 (04:48):
That, right, If he had showed up and gotten home
during that, would he have been killed?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
I mean the guy's probably not. He might have been
bludgeoned with a statue.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
Yeah, that's true, especially I became in dressed as a possum.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
He has a sports rider.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
All he has to defend himself with is a pencil
that's doesn't have anything to Did he try to cook
the possum? There's so many questions. Story tomorrow, that's a
news quickie if you like. It's about five men who
are claiming they were sexually assaulted at a massage parlor.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Oh oh, I'd love to hear that.
Speaker 6 (05:21):
By the way, see if you can book the guy
that killed the possum, yeah, or the homeless guy.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
The homeless guy yeah, or the writer. I think either writer.
Either writer. I'd love to hear about the Dodgers
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