September 25, 2025 • 11 mins
Ben's discovered a bunch of old dating candidate videos, who will K-Ray and Skin choose to hypothetically settle down with?!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh yeah, screw for true. Yeah, I've things on this
screwing roll, looking at Big Boote, Trouble, Muckbung and live
ging this scre snake. They some, Yeah, it's screw the true.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I just said, it's scroll for troll.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
All right, everybody knows I'm better at using the Internet
than anyone else on our show. Now you could argue that,
but I you know, when it comes to social media,
I dare to go places you guys don't want to
go because you don't want to taint your algorithms. So
a lot of times I find things that you know,
you guys are completely unaware of, just because my algorithm
is such a disaster at this point. And so if
(00:47):
you go back in, you know, back in time before
dating apps, there were still probably the exact same number
of lonely people trying to figure out ways to connect.
And there was dating games, there was TV shows, There's
all sorts of ways to try to connect with someone
if you were lonely. Well, I stumbled across this account
that has a bunch of old like VHS recordings of
(01:10):
people selling themselves on why they would be a good
lover or a good partner, a good person for the
opposite sex to date, okay, or maybe the same sex.
But they're basically I have pulled together with the help
of Kevin Turner, three men and three women.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
These are there, How would you how would you go?
Audition tapes or this is their audition tips for maybe
a show like Love Connection or a DAT dating service. Yeah? Yeah,
and what year do we think?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
This is?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Eighties? Eighty eight eighty three? Maybe? Yeah, it felt like
early eighties to me.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
But the way we're going to do this here is
let's just pretend that you know, Katie has seen these
and I've seen this, So let's pretend that Christina is
single and skin is single, Okay, and.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
I know it's tough. Yeah, it's tough. My wife was like,
oh my god, great.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
So basically, there are three women and three men here
that you're about to hear from six people, and it's
this is rest of your life roulette. The way this
works is Christina gets to go first. We've got a
lady named Donna going first, so Christina can decide if
she wants Donna okay, and maybe she and if she
(02:24):
likes what she hears off the rip, she can take
Donna or she can wait to hear the rest of them.
But if you wait too long, if she doesn't take
Donna and I want Donna, I can get Donna. Yeah, yes,
has DIBs. Okay, you can steal.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
She has DIBs. She passes.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yeah, and then on the next one she well, she
always has DIBs because it's ladies first.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Yeah, and so.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
But think about this. You don't want to make a
bad decision and be stuck with the wrong one. I
might have, like a really good one in the back
end of this list. Yeah you know, or maybe not.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Hey man, I don't need your trickery. All right, let's
get right into it. Here is Donna. Let's find out
of Christina or skin want Donna. Hey, my name is
Donna Tover. I don't even care if you've been to prison.
It depends what it's been, It depends what it's for.
Maybe you're ashamed of your past. I want children for
about an afternoon. I don't mind a Harry shoulder. I figure,
(03:16):
if you got it, flaunt it, are going to walk
around the hose daked. This is my body, deal with it.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Okay, Donna sounds fun. I like her attitude. I love
the kids comment, because I agree. I don't want kids.
Maybe for an afternoon. That's about it. But that last comment,
I can't deal with her walking around naked. I'm sorry.
I don't have to pass on Donna.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Donna sounds flabby, sweaty, with bad hair, horrible cigarette breath.
I am out on it, really, But if you have
a hairy shoulder, she thinks that's worth flaunting.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
That's nice.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
She probably has hairy shoulders, and I can tell by
her voice. She's the opposite of hot. All right, you
guys are passing on Donna. Yeah, okay, you only have.
We have five more chances, so we'll take our chances.
All right, let's go next to Perry.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Perry.
Speaker 6 (04:06):
What I'm looking for and a lover is someone who
can take care of my three daughters, a mom for them,
and a hot mama for me. I have not been
in love, much to the scrin of my first wife.
I would describe myself as a success. If you're looking
for a guy who makes fifty one k a year,
If you're looking for a guy who's got a convertible,
(04:27):
I'm your man. If you're looking for a guy who's
adventurous and sexy. Let's just say that next to my
waterbed is a can of whit cream and some cherries.
My head in talents include some very good impressions. Johnny Carson,
what would my three wishes be? Well, I'd like to
have a dinner one time. I'd like to have Sheena Easton,
(04:50):
Tom Selleck, and Abraham Lincoln over for dinner. I know
how to charm the socks off people.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
I often go to.
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Restaurants and I will while people are eating, I'll start
talking to them. I'm the kind of guy who will
bring out the best in a night. My ideal romantic
partner is you look like Sena Easton. You wear high
heels and lots and lots of Crimson lipstick as well.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
That's that's just a thing I like. All right, Christina,
it sounds like he's looking for you.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
This guy's disgusting. I honestly kind of want to let
him take me out on one day just to get
his hope hopes up, and then just destroy him and
say you are a horrible person. You deserve nothing in life.
So I'm going to pass.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
He's got a convertible, I beg you not. I think
this is eighty two or eighty three based on the
Sheena Easton. Yeah so, and also the difference in fifty
K and fifty one K in nineteen eighty two was significant,
which is why he said, fifty one k.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
I'm gonna pass on Perry. All right, Let's go to Ronda.
All right, Ronda, my name is Ronnie. Well it's Ronda,
but don't call me that unless you're mad at me.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
And I the first thing I do is dance because
I am fun? Or do I smoke?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
I'm a chain smoker.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
Do I believe in God?
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Well that's no fun.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Hey?
Speaker 4 (06:13):
What are you doing down there?
Speaker 7 (06:14):
Judging every move I make?
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Absolutely no? No, Oh my, you're running out of options.
I'm just saying there's only three more les.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Honestly, I kind of she just sounds fine, but I
think that laugh would.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
But don't call me down unless you're mad at me.
I can't. I can't do the laugh.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
I wanted to blow my head off just that one
little two minute stretch there. I'm out, all right, I
don't care. I'll take whatever the last guy is. I'm
all passed. You passed on Donna, Perry and Ronda. Now
let's go to lou all right.
Speaker 7 (06:49):
What am I looking for in a lover? Well, that's
who I would describe myself as driven. I was a
pilot for many years. It comes with a lot of dedication.
I don't cook.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I can have a microwave meal.
Speaker 7 (07:05):
I think when people meet me, particularly women, they will
see some qualities in me that are desirable. There won't
be a Christmas that's not full of gifts. What one
or two gifts? Well, I've been married to my career
for quite some time and I haven't thought a lot
about this. I wouldn't mind the gentle, soft touch of
(07:27):
a woman. Have I been in love before? Well, I
don't want to be inappropriate. Okay, I'll start by saying
that maybe there's a morning breakfast involved where there's a handhold.
I don't know if that I would date someone who
isn't a church goer. That's option. Maybe I could get
through it. I definitely try my darnness to respect my
(07:47):
lady's boundaries. You want to sleep in on a Sunday, Hey,
not my thing, but boy, I'll lay there.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
I'll lay there.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
You gotta take that Christina.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
I do kind of want to take lou just because
he sounds, you know, not high maintenance in any way,
He's not.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
As douchey as Perry the rest of your life.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
And I can hire girls for him, right, yeah, to
deal with the ladies. Touch he mentioned, I'm not touching
that there's two more left. Though there's still two.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I thought there's only there's a lady and a man left. Okay,
no passing, Okay, what about you?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Yeah, I'm going to pass on, lou But I was
interested in never having to celebrate Christmas again.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
All right, Right, Christina passes on. Celestian has to take Celeste.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yes, the key to a good relationship with me, it
is letting me sleep in a bit, and then when
I wake up, letting me tell you about all of
my dreams. My ideal man would honestly be the body
of Hasselhoff with the mind of Georgia O'Keeffe.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
My name is Celeste. Well, I'm an artist.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Some of my work is actually in a couple of
galleries and Dondo Beach. I've been in love before. It
was the most amazing three months of my life. We
got engaged, we got married, we divorced. Well, what a
gift to see a whole relationships life cycle like a
tadpole becoming a frog and he's in a better place
now Vermont.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
My dream first and go get a nice cocktail somewhere.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
But at the end of the day, I'm looking for
you to sit at home with me and watch the
Cosby Show. I would describe myself as a fresh can
of PEPSI that not the right person has had a
sip of yet. Something you may not know about me
is that I do have a twin. We're identical and
we have not spoken for a a very long time.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
She is amazing. I feel like we've been friends in
a past life. I'm taking so.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Let's kind of like the hottest one by far.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
That means skin gets Alberto Black melburto.
Speaker 8 (10:01):
What I'm looking for in a lover is child there
in hips because I have a big head. My name
is Alberto. For a living a workout maintenance is pretty wild.
Those guys know how to have fun.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
My best qualities are that I can cook a Patty melt.
Speaker 8 (10:20):
My favorite meal is going to be Alpha Joes, which
is cookie on the inside is a brown goo, and
that dude is going to be almost as sweet as Berto.
People say that I fall in love too quick, but
to that I say, I love you. I am a
very fun guy. When I do fun guy stuff, my
(10:40):
friends call me Chester the wise Guy for fun. I
like to read romance books because I'm always the lead
character inside of my head.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
The best advice that I ever received was love is
a choice. That's why you choose it every morning.
Speaker 8 (10:56):
I believe that there is a god and that his
name is Jesus, and I would love to talk to
you about that.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
This profound, my perfect roommate.
Speaker 6 (11:06):
It is.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Let's the four of us move in together, Christina the
wise Guy.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
All right, that's gonna do it for us. I'll never
forget the time KT looked Alberto dead in his eye
and he said, DM me for socks and panty purchases.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
And then it got better from there. Christina, you got
to stick around and play music.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
Till ten o'clock.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
All right, stick around right here on the eagle. Here
you going, well, I wanna get my sock back, Dude,
I gotta take a poop,
Oh yeah, screw for true. Yeah, I've things on this
screwing roll, looking at Big Boote, Trouble, Muckbung and live
ging this scre snake. They some, Yeah, it's screw the true.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I just said, it's scroll for troll.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
All right, everybody knows I'm better at using the Internet
than anyone else on our show. Now you could argue that,
but I you know, when it comes to social media,
I dare to go places you guys don't want to
go because you don't want to taint your algorithms. So
a lot of times I find things that you know,
you guys are completely unaware of, just because my algorithm
is such a disaster at this point. And so if
(00:47):
you go back in, you know, back in time before
dating apps, there were still probably the exact same number
of lonely people trying to figure out ways to connect.
And there was dating games, there was TV shows, There's
all sorts of ways to try to connect with someone
if you were lonely. Well, I stumbled across this account
that has a bunch of old like VHS recordings of
(01:10):
people selling themselves on why they would be a good
lover or a good partner, a good person for the
opposite sex to date, okay, or maybe the same sex.
But they're basically I have pulled together with the help
of Kevin Turner, three men and three women.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
These are there, How would you how would you go?
Audition tapes or this is their audition tips for maybe
a show like Love Connection or a DAT dating service. Yeah? Yeah,
and what year do we think?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
This is?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
Eighties? Eighty eight eighty three? Maybe? Yeah, it felt like
early eighties to me.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
But the way we're going to do this here is
let's just pretend that you know, Katie has seen these
and I've seen this, So let's pretend that Christina is
single and skin is single, Okay, and.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
I know it's tough. Yeah, it's tough. My wife was like,
oh my god, great.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
So basically, there are three women and three men here
that you're about to hear from six people, and it's
this is rest of your life roulette. The way this
works is Christina gets to go first. We've got a
lady named Donna going first, so Christina can decide if
she wants Donna okay, and maybe she and if she
(02:24):
likes what she hears off the rip, she can take
Donna or she can wait to hear the rest of them.
But if you wait too long, if she doesn't take
Donna and I want Donna, I can get Donna. Yeah, yes,
has DIBs. Okay, you can steal.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
She has DIBs. She passes.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yeah, and then on the next one she well, she
always has DIBs because it's ladies first.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
Yeah, and so.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
But think about this. You don't want to make a
bad decision and be stuck with the wrong one. I
might have, like a really good one in the back
end of this list. Yeah you know, or maybe not.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Hey man, I don't need your trickery. All right, let's
get right into it. Here is Donna. Let's find out
of Christina or skin want Donna. Hey, my name is
Donna Tover. I don't even care if you've been to prison.
It depends what it's been, It depends what it's for.
Maybe you're ashamed of your past. I want children for
about an afternoon. I don't mind a Harry shoulder. I figure,
(03:16):
if you got it, flaunt it, are going to walk
around the hose daked. This is my body, deal with it.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
Okay, Donna sounds fun. I like her attitude. I love
the kids comment, because I agree. I don't want kids.
Maybe for an afternoon. That's about it. But that last comment,
I can't deal with her walking around naked. I'm sorry.
I don't have to pass on Donna.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Donna sounds flabby, sweaty, with bad hair, horrible cigarette breath.
I am out on it, really, But if you have
a hairy shoulder, she thinks that's worth flaunting.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
That's nice.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
She probably has hairy shoulders, and I can tell by
her voice. She's the opposite of hot. All right, you
guys are passing on Donna. Yeah, okay, you only have.
We have five more chances, so we'll take our chances.
All right, let's go next to Perry.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
Perry.
Speaker 6 (04:06):
What I'm looking for and a lover is someone who
can take care of my three daughters, a mom for them,
and a hot mama for me. I have not been
in love, much to the scrin of my first wife.
I would describe myself as a success. If you're looking
for a guy who makes fifty one k a year,
If you're looking for a guy who's got a convertible,
(04:27):
I'm your man. If you're looking for a guy who's
adventurous and sexy. Let's just say that next to my
waterbed is a can of whit cream and some cherries.
My head in talents include some very good impressions. Johnny Carson,
what would my three wishes be? Well, I'd like to
have a dinner one time. I'd like to have Sheena Easton,
(04:50):
Tom Selleck, and Abraham Lincoln over for dinner. I know
how to charm the socks off people.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
I often go to.
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Restaurants and I will while people are eating, I'll start
talking to them. I'm the kind of guy who will
bring out the best in a night. My ideal romantic
partner is you look like Sena Easton. You wear high
heels and lots and lots of Crimson lipstick as well.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
That's that's just a thing I like. All right, Christina,
it sounds like he's looking for you.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
This guy's disgusting. I honestly kind of want to let
him take me out on one day just to get
his hope hopes up, and then just destroy him and
say you are a horrible person. You deserve nothing in life.
So I'm going to pass.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
He's got a convertible, I beg you not. I think
this is eighty two or eighty three based on the
Sheena Easton. Yeah so, and also the difference in fifty
K and fifty one K in nineteen eighty two was significant,
which is why he said, fifty one k.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
I'm gonna pass on Perry. All right, Let's go to Ronda.
All right, Ronda, my name is Ronnie. Well it's Ronda,
but don't call me that unless you're mad at me.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
And I the first thing I do is dance because
I am fun? Or do I smoke?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
I'm a chain smoker.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
Do I believe in God?
Speaker 4 (06:11):
Well that's no fun.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Hey?
Speaker 4 (06:13):
What are you doing down there?
Speaker 7 (06:14):
Judging every move I make?
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Absolutely no? No, Oh my, you're running out of options.
I'm just saying there's only three more les.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Honestly, I kind of she just sounds fine, but I
think that laugh would.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
But don't call me down unless you're mad at me.
I can't. I can't do the laugh.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
I wanted to blow my head off just that one
little two minute stretch there. I'm out, all right, I
don't care. I'll take whatever the last guy is. I'm
all passed. You passed on Donna, Perry and Ronda. Now
let's go to lou all right.
Speaker 7 (06:49):
What am I looking for in a lover? Well, that's
who I would describe myself as driven. I was a
pilot for many years. It comes with a lot of dedication.
I don't cook.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I can have a microwave meal.
Speaker 7 (07:05):
I think when people meet me, particularly women, they will
see some qualities in me that are desirable. There won't
be a Christmas that's not full of gifts. What one
or two gifts? Well, I've been married to my career
for quite some time and I haven't thought a lot
about this. I wouldn't mind the gentle, soft touch of
(07:27):
a woman. Have I been in love before? Well, I
don't want to be inappropriate. Okay, I'll start by saying
that maybe there's a morning breakfast involved where there's a handhold.
I don't know if that I would date someone who
isn't a church goer. That's option. Maybe I could get
through it. I definitely try my darnness to respect my
(07:47):
lady's boundaries. You want to sleep in on a Sunday, Hey,
not my thing, but boy, I'll lay there.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
I'll lay there.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
You gotta take that Christina.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
I do kind of want to take lou just because
he sounds, you know, not high maintenance in any way,
He's not.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
As douchey as Perry the rest of your life.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
And I can hire girls for him, right, yeah, to
deal with the ladies. Touch he mentioned, I'm not touching
that there's two more left. Though there's still two.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
I thought there's only there's a lady and a man left. Okay,
no passing, Okay, what about you?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Yeah, I'm going to pass on, lou But I was
interested in never having to celebrate Christmas again.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
All right, Right, Christina passes on. Celestian has to take Celeste.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yes, the key to a good relationship with me, it
is letting me sleep in a bit, and then when
I wake up, letting me tell you about all of
my dreams. My ideal man would honestly be the body
of Hasselhoff with the mind of Georgia O'Keeffe.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
My name is Celeste. Well, I'm an artist.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Some of my work is actually in a couple of
galleries and Dondo Beach. I've been in love before. It
was the most amazing three months of my life. We
got engaged, we got married, we divorced. Well, what a
gift to see a whole relationships life cycle like a
tadpole becoming a frog and he's in a better place
now Vermont.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
My dream first and go get a nice cocktail somewhere.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
But at the end of the day, I'm looking for
you to sit at home with me and watch the
Cosby Show. I would describe myself as a fresh can
of PEPSI that not the right person has had a
sip of yet. Something you may not know about me
is that I do have a twin. We're identical and
we have not spoken for a a very long time.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
She is amazing. I feel like we've been friends in
a past life. I'm taking so.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Let's kind of like the hottest one by far.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
That means skin gets Alberto Black melburto.
Speaker 8 (10:01):
What I'm looking for in a lover is child there
in hips because I have a big head. My name
is Alberto. For a living a workout maintenance is pretty wild.
Those guys know how to have fun.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
My best qualities are that I can cook a Patty melt.
Speaker 8 (10:20):
My favorite meal is going to be Alpha Joes, which
is cookie on the inside is a brown goo, and
that dude is going to be almost as sweet as Berto.
People say that I fall in love too quick, but
to that I say, I love you. I am a
very fun guy. When I do fun guy stuff, my
(10:40):
friends call me Chester the wise Guy for fun. I
like to read romance books because I'm always the lead
character inside of my head.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
The best advice that I ever received was love is
a choice. That's why you choose it every morning.
Speaker 8 (10:56):
I believe that there is a god and that his
name is Jesus, and I would love to talk to
you about that.
Speaker 4 (11:03):
This profound, my perfect roommate.
Speaker 6 (11:06):
It is.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Let's the four of us move in together, Christina the
wise Guy.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
All right, that's gonna do it for us. I'll never
forget the time KT looked Alberto dead in his eye
and he said, DM me for socks and panty purchases.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
And then it got better from there. Christina, you got
to stick around and play music.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
Till ten o'clock.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
All right, stick around right here on the eagle. Here
you going, well, I wanna get my sock back, Dude,
I gotta take a poop,
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