The Self-Pleasuring Delivery Driver

"What would you do if your Amazon delivery turned into the most bizarre encounter of your life?"In this jaw-dropping segment of The Ben and Skin Show, Ben Rogers, Jeff “Skin” Wade, Kevin “KT” Turner, and Krystina Ray dive into one of the strangest news quickies you’ll ever hear. A 72-year-old woman in Spain simply wanted mosquito repellent—but what she got was a delivery driver who misunderstood the assignment in the most outrageous way imaginable.From the moment the courier stepped through the gate, things spiraled into a surreal comedy of errors involving unlocked doors, language barriers, and a deeply uncomfortable misunderstanding upstairs. The crew breaks down the story with their signature blend of sharp wit and hilarious commentary, including Skin’s unforgettable line:
“He may not speak Castilian Spanish… she might have said, ‘Go upstairs and start scratching your jacket.’”Ben and Skin riff on the absurdity of the situation, Krystina brings the empathy, and KT delivers punchlines that will leave you laughing out loud. The segment crescendos with KT’s perfectly timed joke:
“She had to deal with all that and still didn’t get off… the mosquitoes.”
—an instant classic that had the whole crew in stitches.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Give me that news quickie. We got a weird one night.
So this is a seventy two year old lady and
she lives in Spain, right, and she had ordered on
Amazon some mosquito repellent, which that's fine. I mean, yeah,

(00:20):
you know, I don't know. I feel like you can
go to the store by that, but you's seventy two.
You probably just want to come to your house. Totally
get it. My neighbors, one of my neighbors, they don't leave,
and they're awesome and nice when I see them, which
is rarely. They don't leave. I mean, everything is delivered.
It's amazing.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
I saw this video that was going around of it
was a UPS driver's final shift.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
I don't know if you guys saw this.

Speaker 2 (00:45):
And he's coming up to this house and these dogs
are so excited to see him, and it's clear that
they've been hanging out for years. And so the lady
who's filming it is crying because she knows it's the
UPS driver's last shift and the dogs and all this stuff,
and they're hugging and she hugs and then someone in
the comment section says, my god, how much stuff are
these people ordering at the UPS?

Speaker 1 (01:05):
For these people to be disclosed. So the guy. Now
Amazon has said that this was a courier, not an
actual Amazon employee. I don't even know how that would
even work, but I'm sure that happens all the time
because you need so many delivery drivers. He was a
man in his twenties. He arrived with the package at

(01:26):
her home, the mosquito repellent, at around five pm. She
busted him in through a gate to her home and
asked him to wait for a second via the video doorbell.
So she asked him to wait. I guess she was
in the bathroom whatever. Well, then she noticed somehow that

(01:46):
the man had gone into the house, so I guess
the door was unlocked and he went in anyways, even
though she said wait, she walked up the stairs into
her bedroom. All the man with his hand and his shorts.
So he entered her house, walked through the kitchen, up

(02:07):
the stairs into the bedroom, and he was going at
it vigorously.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
I think that he had jock itch. And also it's
possible you said the story was in Spain. He may
not speak Castilian Spanish, so he didn't understand what she
was saying. Thought she might have said, hey, go upstairs
and start scratching your jacket.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
She used to live in New Zealand actually, so probably
wasn't speaking Spanish. Good day, mite. She said that he
was doing that vigorously. He turned his back and it
was apparent that he Oh, oh, put the icing on
the cake. Oh, he had a cake in there. He

(02:51):
shook his hand and when he turned to me, his
shorts were wet.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Oh, he might have front sat on a puddle, she said, Yeah,
have been sweaty day out there.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Too hot in Spain. You can imagine that near the equator.
Probably maybe not. I can think of a lot of
things I should have said to him, but I was
so shocked. I just told him to get out immediately,
and then I followed him out. Once outside, he asked
for her ID number to register the package. So he

(03:23):
still was gonna see through and finish the job. What
the actual job I'm trying to finish? He was all
over time. Yeah. She says that he struggled to and
put the data correctly, which prompted another colleague who had
been waiting in the van, to come to the door

(03:43):
and ask for the about the delay. So there's another guy. Oh,
he's getting managed what is he doing? The other guy's involved,
So she the guy comes up and he's like, he's like,
what's going on, and she goes, your colleague has done
so something very bad. But she said, my, she said,

(04:05):
my poor Spanish did not extend to the word, the
scientific word of yeah, pleasure. A great fisherman who could
know how to say that if you were good at that,
a master if you will, a matador baiter flogging. So

(04:26):
then the older driver, the guy who got the guy
who followed up, was like, there's a problem restoring the package,
and then he snatched it from her and then they
just went and got in the van and left. Oh
she snapped a photograph of him. But she had to
deal with all that and still doesn't get off. The
mosquitoes were right right right? Did she get bit? That

(04:49):
was pretty good? That's pretty good.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
It's all just for that story. You watched all the
school buses line up and then you saw him walk
out get on his motorcycle.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
It's a ironic jump them all her. Uh, that's pretty good.
Was like a mosquito level. That's pretty good. That's pretty good.
Kevin Turner. All of it really came together at the end. There.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
That was in the joke book, all right, coming coming
up next, Kat wagers on the sex toy epidemic.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
He does that, and we'll get to that story next