May 8, 2025 • 6 mins
NEW SEGMENT ALERT! The Suck Zone is where we do a bit of house cleaning and followups, today we have an update to John Mulaney fighting 3 teenage boys.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This sucks song and that's that technical Therefore, obviously.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Where did I hear that? What is that from? That's
from Twister? That's right, sucks Philip.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Seymour Hoffman, the star of the movie. No offense to
Bill Paxton. So the Suck Zone is a new segment
that's really just following up on some stories that we
might have done over the past week and you kind
of go an update's happened, but we haven't dedicated a
full segment to it.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
So last week was the big week.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Of one hundred men versus a Gorilla, which spun off
into if you don't know what that was, it was
a thing that popped up on Twitter just to hypothetical,
and that's spun off to John Mulaney, the comedian who
hosted Netflix talk show for Wednesday Night. He said that
on a season finale on May twenty eighth, he is
going to fight three fourteen year old boys.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
All right, so you.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Hear that and like, okay, that's funny. Well, last night,
this this is what he revealed.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
All Right, the moment is nigh.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
We're about to reveal my first challenger for a teenager
fight night. But I'd like to say first that a
lot of people have been contacting me. Some'm very concerned
about my promise on our final episode May twenty eighth
to fight three fourteen year olds. You've been asking me
questions like John, why would you do this? Why would
you fight boys? That's your first mistake right there. Fourteen
(01:25):
year olds are young men. Calling them boys or children
will only result in those little bastards becoming full psychos.
If there is truly a crisis of young men in
this country, as many say there is, I guarantee you
the solution is not podcasting at them. Perhaps the greatest
danger facing young people today is that most of the
(01:46):
life advice they get comes from misshapen men making video
essays in their basements.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Okay, so good, pretty funny setup.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Right now, he's turned it back on everyone else too,
and almost taken up for the boys. So he's basically said,
you know what we're going to do. We're going to
reveal them one week at a time. Here's boy number
one or young man number one.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So here is.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
The very someone.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I should have shown you guys a picture of this.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Now, with all that said, I'm ready to learn the
identity of my first adolescent adversary, who again I have
not seen until this moment, Richard.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Take it away, ladies.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
Her first fourteen year old challenger stands at a whopping
five eight inches tall and still growing, weighing in at
one hundred and forty two pounds. Give it up for Ben,
whose last name we cannot say.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I be I'm fourteen years old.
Speaker 7 (02:56):
I am extremely confident that I'm going to beat up
John Mulaney. Beating up John Mulaney would help my self
esteem a lot and help me grow as a person.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Also, it would really help my popularity. Coming for you, John.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
To all of the writers and people behind the scenes
who picked that first challenger, I'm thinking, thank you. I
don't know how popular is gonna make you. You have
a deep voice.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I'll give you that. Rich What do you think I
think you're fighting young men? I don't like that. You're
not alone. That's our show.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
My thanks, Andy said, I cannot wait.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Till next Wednesday night to see the second young boy.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Wait, don't say that, but like, yeah, it's a it
was so fun.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
So what did he look like?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Did it look like, uh, when you just looked at
that kid, did you think that would be anywhere close
to a fair fight.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I thought.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
I didn't think he's not he's not skinny, pretty solid. Yeah,
he's pretty solid, and I was I kept thinking, like,
he's just a little shorter than me.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
He's about like twenty pounds more than me, like my height,
my same height, and add twenty more pounds to me.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
That that's it.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I wouldn't mind seeing Christina fight John mulana good.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Or Christina and KT. Oh, dude, y'all should fight. I
don't want to fight anyone. Okay, Christina and my three
kids against KT. I like that. That'd be great, because
a college man, I.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Just wouldn't have it in me. I don't think i'd
have it in me to physically hurt anyone.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
All right, let's get three kids in a female and
have him fight a pacifist.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Oh yeah, okay, the.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Old Well okay, So my thought was that three of
these guys could probably take him, but one that he
would handle him.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
But I mean, John m'laney's pretty slender too.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
What he's gonna happen, I don't know. I don't know
where this is going. Go ahead, sorry, skin, what are
his stats? John mullaney?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Like his height, he's probably three and a half or
voice tall.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Right, let's kind of type it in and find out
because I truly don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
One of the problems with this he's he's just six
feet tall. Oh wow, I thought I swallowing it. One
of the problems with this scenario is, in order to
go hit somebody, you have to muster up the angst
or the energy or the fight or whatever. Like, how
are you gonna get interested in going and hitting teenage? No?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Right, that's then That's why I wonder, like he's promising
this thing in this long drawn up bit that has
bits of it weeks at a time, and I'm like, Okay,
he can't back out of this. But at first I
was like, man.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
He's kind of skinny, and he's kind of uh, I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
There's something about him, the way he talks. He would
make you think this guy. But then I remember, this
guy has been doing hard drug since he was thirteen.
He grew up on the bad side of Chicago, Like
he does have a background.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
This happen, this will never happen, which makes me wonder
where it's going. But I'm along for the ride.
This sucks song and that's that technical Therefore, obviously.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Where did I hear that? What is that from? That's
from Twister? That's right, sucks Philip.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Seymour Hoffman, the star of the movie. No offense to
Bill Paxton. So the Suck Zone is a new segment
that's really just following up on some stories that we
might have done over the past week and you kind
of go an update's happened, but we haven't dedicated a
full segment to it.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
So last week was the big week.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Of one hundred men versus a Gorilla, which spun off
into if you don't know what that was, it was
a thing that popped up on Twitter just to hypothetical,
and that's spun off to John Mulaney, the comedian who
hosted Netflix talk show for Wednesday Night. He said that
on a season finale on May twenty eighth, he is
going to fight three fourteen year old boys.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
All right, so you.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Hear that and like, okay, that's funny. Well, last night,
this this is what he revealed.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
All Right, the moment is nigh.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
We're about to reveal my first challenger for a teenager
fight night. But I'd like to say first that a
lot of people have been contacting me. Some'm very concerned
about my promise on our final episode May twenty eighth
to fight three fourteen year olds. You've been asking me
questions like John, why would you do this? Why would
you fight boys? That's your first mistake right there. Fourteen
(01:25):
year olds are young men. Calling them boys or children
will only result in those little bastards becoming full psychos.
If there is truly a crisis of young men in
this country, as many say there is, I guarantee you
the solution is not podcasting at them. Perhaps the greatest
danger facing young people today is that most of the
(01:46):
life advice they get comes from misshapen men making video
essays in their basements.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Okay, so good, pretty funny setup.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Right now, he's turned it back on everyone else too,
and almost taken up for the boys. So he's basically said,
you know what we're going to do. We're going to
reveal them one week at a time. Here's boy number
one or young man number one.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So here is.
Speaker 5 (02:15):
The very someone.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
I should have shown you guys a picture of this.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Now, with all that said, I'm ready to learn the
identity of my first adolescent adversary, who again I have
not seen until this moment, Richard.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Take it away, ladies.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
Her first fourteen year old challenger stands at a whopping
five eight inches tall and still growing, weighing in at
one hundred and forty two pounds. Give it up for Ben,
whose last name we cannot say.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
I be I'm fourteen years old.
Speaker 7 (02:56):
I am extremely confident that I'm going to beat up
John Mulaney. Beating up John Mulaney would help my self
esteem a lot and help me grow as a person.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Also, it would really help my popularity. Coming for you, John.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
To all of the writers and people behind the scenes
who picked that first challenger, I'm thinking, thank you. I
don't know how popular is gonna make you. You have
a deep voice.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I'll give you that. Rich What do you think I
think you're fighting young men? I don't like that. You're
not alone. That's our show.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
My thanks, Andy said, I cannot wait.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Till next Wednesday night to see the second young boy.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Wait, don't say that, but like, yeah, it's a it
was so fun.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
So what did he look like?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Did it look like, uh, when you just looked at
that kid, did you think that would be anywhere close
to a fair fight.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I thought.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
I didn't think he's not he's not skinny, pretty solid. Yeah,
he's pretty solid, and I was I kept thinking, like,
he's just a little shorter than me.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
He's about like twenty pounds more than me, like my height,
my same height, and add twenty more pounds to me.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
That that's it.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I wouldn't mind seeing Christina fight John mulana good.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Or Christina and KT. Oh, dude, y'all should fight. I
don't want to fight anyone. Okay, Christina and my three
kids against KT. I like that. That'd be great, because
a college man, I.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Just wouldn't have it in me. I don't think i'd
have it in me to physically hurt anyone.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
All right, let's get three kids in a female and
have him fight a pacifist.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Oh yeah, okay, the.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Old Well okay, So my thought was that three of
these guys could probably take him, but one that he
would handle him.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
But I mean, John m'laney's pretty slender too.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
What he's gonna happen, I don't know. I don't know
where this is going. Go ahead, sorry, skin, what are
his stats? John mullaney?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Like his height, he's probably three and a half or
voice tall.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Right, let's kind of type it in and find out
because I truly don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
One of the problems with this he's he's just six
feet tall. Oh wow, I thought I swallowing it. One
of the problems with this scenario is, in order to
go hit somebody, you have to muster up the angst
or the energy or the fight or whatever. Like, how
are you gonna get interested in going and hitting teenage? No?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Right, that's then That's why I wonder, like he's promising
this thing in this long drawn up bit that has
bits of it weeks at a time, and I'm like, Okay,
he can't back out of this. But at first I
was like, man.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
He's kind of skinny, and he's kind of uh, I
don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
There's something about him, the way he talks. He would
make you think this guy. But then I remember, this
guy has been doing hard drug since he was thirteen.
He grew up on the bad side of Chicago, Like
he does have a background.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
This happen, this will never happen, which makes me wonder
where it's going. But I'm along for the ride.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.