December 12, 2025 • 36 mins
Another legendary visit form Marlon Wayans with the Cruz Show. He talked about White Chicks 2, the Diddy Documentary, Scary Movie 6 & more.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's good. It's a lot of what's good? What ups mussy?
You're checking out the Cruise Show podcast? Subscribe right Martin
Waynas is back on the cruise Pas. There he is.
What's up fool? What's up fool? What's going down? Like
you just right about doing a drive by? What's up fool?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Martin Wayns were just talking about your sleep. You have
a lot of you're gonna miss a lot of sleep
coming up. You got a busy schedule Levity Live in
Ox near December fifth through the seventh. By the way,
you can get merch and tickets all in for a
Martin Wayns dot com.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Including in my cigars this hat, cigars, the shirts. I
love that shirt Malla Wayns dot com. Okay, thank you,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
The improv on the twelfth through the fourteenth, that's mbrella,
the improv in Ontario the eighteen through the twenty first,
and then uh later that night you're announcing the Golden Globe.
So you're doing a set and then you're getting about
what an hour or two of sleep, and then you're
up three am to announce the Golden Globes.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yep, sounds very Marlin. This is Martin You know what's funny.
I don't think about the schedules. He read it out
to me. And how the hell I'm gonna do that,
I don't know. I just do it. I just take
me when I gotta go. And after the Golden glob
have Flappers that night here in Burbank. No not, yes
you are, No, it's December twenty seconds after the twenties. Yeah, bro,
wait the Golden Globes is what twenty first? And then wow,
(01:24):
So the next day, the next night, you're at f
So I'm gonna be I'm announcing the nominees of the
Golden Globe. And then on the on that day the first, no,
the eighth, and then the twenty first, I'm going to
the Golden Globs and I'm I'm gonna present.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Okay, then you're at Flappers sometime on the twenty second. Yeah,
I'm working one show at Flappers. You're gonna add another
fucking show?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
What maybe it's gonna happen, probably, uh, but I'm trying
to work new stuff, right, I don't know what I'm
gonna talk about. And this is a fun, fun part
for me, is just feeling it out, just figuring it out.
And it's nerve racking, and it's in silence, and it's
it's deep discovery and it's saying the craziest things and
(02:09):
like hopefully not being judged.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Nah, but Marlin, people love you dog. You know no,
I can say some really dumb stuff. I know, but
like you know what, every comedian.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Has that has that, but you're trying to find it,
that fear because you can't expect exactly. But Bro, you
go to war and run through these land these fields
and not step on a landmine, it's gonna happen. You
tell jokes with your entire body, with your face. People
appreciate that. You know, you know, you're in it. Bro,
You're immersing the joke, and people appreciate that because you're
performing up there, you're not necessarily just telling jokes. Well,
(02:38):
I appreciate that, but I'm getting old now, So I
just sit on the stool and I just talk. I'm
trying to get like Kyle's bey, why smoke a cigar
on stage, blow smoking your face, talk fun out or
then make y'all laugh and then go good night. I'm like, yeah,
I went to the show where you were still standing
up in so I'm not sitting down I'm just saying
I do spend time when I'm trying to figure it out.
I learned it's okay to not I don't have to
(03:01):
be all crazy. I'm trying to figure it out. So
I got to talk it out before you can animate.
You have to write, you have to figure it out.
You have to know what you're going to talk about,
and then you can think about, oh, how do I
animate that? But sometimes you go in the moment, oh
that's funny, and then you do it and you animate it.
So I don't know. I guess I don't have a process.
I don't know what you I'm gonna do. I don't
(03:22):
know my style. I figure where I'm at, how I
felt that day, what I'm talking about, I'll I don't know.
It's so I'm random. I think that's I'm making and random,
even though I have a structure that makes it tough
for people to mimic you or even try to do Marlin.
I think that's a good place to be. James Carroll,
(03:42):
who I think is arguably one of the greatest impression
is to ever lived. Yeah, Jamie Fox is good too,
Jamie's great, really good. Jamie is one day dude, is
good too. I forget his name, the white dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Matt friend, Matt Friend. Sorry, all great, Jay Farrell, he said,
(04:04):
I said, why haven't you done me? He goes, I'm
about sixty percent there, and I'm like, bro, it's been
like six years, Like, when are you gonna do me?
I can't wait to see him do me. And it's
I think it's hard to do me because I don't
have a thing. I don't I don't have a thing.
I don't have a thing that I do. I can
do drama, I do comedy, I do sketch, I do parody,
(04:25):
I do romantic comedies. I do action. I do it all,
and I do stand up and within my stand up,
I do characters. I don't have a thing. Who can
you do? Nobody? Nah, you could do somebody? No, I could.
I could ride your family members, my brother Damon right
right then I could do Sean and Sean's impression of him.
(04:48):
My impression of Sean is really it sounds like him
doing me, because when he does me, he sounds like this,
like we're gonna do this, We're gonna do that, and
I'm just like, so that's my thing for Sean that's
that's what Sean sounds like, like you're not doing me,
you're doing you. Hey stupid, he stupid, he stupid. His
voice ain't really high. He puts that on like Michael Jackson.
(05:15):
He has a regular, regular voice, but he always had
a high voice. Yo.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Did you once prank him thinking, uh, he was going
to be on something and had a fake audition to
do some kind of dolphin laugh and you use that
as leverage?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Is that true? What high Negro told you this? Chat
GPT told us?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
This told us what that You pranked Sean into a
fake audition and you used it to like blackmail them?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Chat GDP be lying universe that never happen? Did he say,
g d P? I said, chat g t P whatever, Well,
they got my story wrong, so I got their name wrong.
I'm Caddy. They got that story never happened. They're lying.
(06:07):
There's a lot of Google something else. No, there's a
lot of Google something else on chet GEP.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
There's a lot of stories out there. Man's another one,
another one. Batman returns. She was supposed to be robbing.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I was. I got a check. I wish I had
kept it. I spent it one hundred grad you got
paid and you and I still get three dollars checks. Wait,
you still get like the three dollars. I'll take you
on a date. What you want to get she's engaged? Okay,
what kind of bacon cheeseburger? I have money for that
(06:39):
with three dollars, so I'll get you the cheeseburger. You
gotta get your own bacony, bring your own bro. You engage, missus,
been engaged, missus richie, you have your rich ass? Say
by you a cheese burger? You can take you on
a day you've met him, I'll take the referend on
a date over man wear that? What about man in black?
(07:02):
He but no, it's a weird look like people can't
see him, so you have to describe what you're seeing.
Come on on other side. He had a black turtle
that go on and slecks. The last time I seen
somebody in slecks? What's our god?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Man?
Speaker 1 (07:18):
He looks like and letting gentlemen please give him the
congregation the congregation brendon black as well. Right, yeah, he
looks like the insects in the coffee room. Yo. I
can't remark. Man, this dude, it's crazy. What's wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Man, something's wrong with every comedian camera. Is this why
you got her fiance? It looks like an interrogation.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Do it looked like I say, first forty eight, you're
about to snitch on somebody. Yo. He't about to sing
right now, You're about to snitchnitch it on in the
first forty eight.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Oh my gosh, he's not feeling well.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
That's why he's at the room. We're watching you on Twitter,
our Instagram. So yo, him was crazy.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Congratulations, man, we think you had a chance to talk
to you when when when you know the the.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Day after we saw it. It was a crazy movie. Congratulations,
Thank you brother. Hell yeah, trying to expand trying to
do different man, you know what I'm trying to do.
I'm trying to I'm just trying to do something in
the world rarely sees just like somebody that as an
artist can do it do mostly all like and equally
(08:39):
as well. Like I think a lot of uh, there's
a lot of great dramatic actors, but sometimes they're not.
You give them comedy, I don't know what to do
with it. You put them on stage, they get frozen.
I want to be one of those guys that just
I could do it all drama, comedy, stand up, hosting,
you know, characters, sketch, whatever it is, romantic, comedy, action.
I want to do it all in him.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I could tell you dug deep though, you dug into
some frustration that you've been hanging on to form.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, probably all the hazing for my brothers, those bastards,
but I could, I could relate to it. And I
can also relate to you know, always keeping your integrity, blessing.
It's a tool, yeah, but it's one that you have
to work. So my comedy abilities, my journey doing stand
up the last sixteen years, has taught me like how
(09:25):
to let go dramatically and still I can still be funny,
but as the character. So even if I'm doing something funny,
it's not moll And being funny, it's I'm doing it
as a character. So poop a scary movie. Six is rapped,
just finished wrapping. We wrapped up two weeks ago, a
week ago. So I just got home from war and
(09:46):
it's gonna be really funny. I'm back. Shorty's back son,
Shorty's back son, Cindy's back son. Yeah, we got Brenda's son. Okay,
we got rays back, Yeah, and looking at backs Sun.
This movie is gonna be ill this summer June twelfth,
(10:10):
twenty twenty six. Go out and see it. Don't get
the bootleg unless you get it from me. Yeah, but
it's really Funast's back, No holds barred man, we created
took the gloves off re offensive or we all have
are we? You know? We having fun? Everybody gonna get some,
that's right. We spread the love and we just came
out that we just wanted to have a good time.
So that's that's exactly what we do. Restrictions. Who was
(10:32):
the first call made to from the original cast to
come back? Anna and Regina? Yeah, that's right. Well, my
first call was to Shawn Yeah and Keenan, so I
had to make sure that they know two of them
were down. And then it was like, all right, let's go.
And then uh first call was Anna and Regina like
simultaneously because they both meant that much to the franchise.
(10:54):
And then after that it was collecting little nuggets and
jewels from the past movies. Yeah, did they know like
when you told them, like they did they have a
feeling or they no? But they were happy? Yeah, yeah,
because they had did some of those movies without us,
and they's like, this don't feel the same. So it
just felt like one big reunion doing the same kind
of flavored humans. Do it right this that they were
known for it.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah, it's not that they did it wrong. You know,
they got their check. Stop playing, stop playing. Yeah, they
got their check.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Get y'all money involved. Though the sauce wasn't that, you
know what. I ain't gonna hate on them. They got
houses and you know, kids and dogs. Regina got like
two or three cats. You know, get your money. She's
not a cat lady. Are you playing music? No, that's
my my my phone, my ringing. Somebody bothered me. It's
always when you're busy, somebody want to bother you. I
(11:40):
never get a call. People can just tell man, hey, bro,
when you're in ALISONA steal your corn rolls? How do you?
I hate you? Twenty five? I want to steal your years.
Do you see them with young dudes? They thick hair
and you just go, I want to I want to
kill you, you scout. What was twenty five year old
darling doing? I had them corn rolls like that. You
(12:02):
were working though I was working. My ass you were working.
I didn't party until my thirties. In my thirties, we
didn't know how to right. You were working, that's all
you knew. You were born. I was scared to okay,
I was scared too because I knew I was crazy.
And I was like, if I party, I party like
these white boys party, I'm gonna be off the hood.
And I never wanted to be like everybody getting addicted
(12:25):
to anything. I never wanted to do nothing dumb. So
you know, I went through my little Molly face, and
that was that was a good time. And it was
just that he was on that Molly. You wasn't no,
you're lying. Never we you're lying. Yeah, you know lying No.
I went through a phase. It was it was. It
was a good time. I it was. I never got
(12:47):
like extremely like crazy. It just was like a little
micro and I'm like, yo, this this feels good. Every
music was good. We stay up all night. We played spades.
Though that's when you do too much. Yeah, somebody did
too much and then the next day people you do
too much, you beat the press, make them thinking about suicide.
(13:08):
But whoa, whoa, whoa? Did you It was a good
time man? You described Jackie accurately to work that way.
Sometimes mondays, yeah, I don't want to be here and
John sweaking day so okay, okay, period, that must be
(13:32):
hard to work with, fellas. No, But honestly, like you know,
I think I'm glad I went through those phases. I'm
at a phase in my life. I have to, right,
you got to live and learn and I did it
and I did it and I didn't do get in
no trouble. I didn't get no d u y s.
I didn't get no dumb stuff. I've actually project because
(13:55):
of it. You know. I was never never like that.
Noah never missed a date. I don't play with my stuff.
I get it in, but you know, you grow out
of it and you get I like where I'm at now.
I mean a cigar. I got my own cigar brand,
that's right. You like that? That's right, that's the Spanish name. Yes,
(14:16):
and you could get them on my mona ways dot com.
And you know, I play golf now, trying to grow up,
hang out with right now, my kids got a three
year old. Huh. No, I sucked, but that's the fun
of golf. Everybody sucks. It takes time and you want
to be good, you gotta do it every day. I
don't have time to do it every day. To link
(14:38):
up with college. Man, let's play some golf. I was
supposed to go to this thing party. No, he had
a golf tournament this weekend. I was supposed to go.
What happened. I had to work. I had to come
back here and do shows. But I was supposed to
be there today and yesterday and and golf with Mark
(14:59):
world work. But quietly, I think he's way better at
me because he has a lot more money and a
lot more time to play. I heard golf though. That's
where you know the deals are going down. Some deals,
connections are some deals. But you know, honestly, I think
that the I'm into the work. You know, I can't
write a movie playing golf. I got to be at
a computer. I got to be in front of a screen.
I got things to do. I can't do stand up
(15:21):
playing golf. I could work out a you know, an
idea and be like, hey, what do you think of this.
It's good for that, it's good for commiserating, But I
don't think it's like, you know, man, I got this
billion dollar deal playing golf. Oh, y'all look sleepy. No no,
did y'all just eat? No? No, no, yeah, we just had
y'all got the itis. Just you trying to stay up.
(15:44):
It's just no ye ask me a question. I'm listening wrong. Hey,
with all these shows coming up. You got ox ANDAR
this weekend, Brea Improv and then Ontario Prov and then Flappers.
You say you're working out stuff. Do you allow phones
in when you're working out stuff? You have your phone out?
I get you gottack, they kick you out. You lock
(16:07):
the phones up or do you wait? Now? I don't
lock them up, but I know because that costs. If
you lock them you can. You can when I first
walk on stage, get your video, and then when I
leave the stage, get your video. Okay, if you want
to do meet and Greek take a picture, great, But
while I'm on stage, no filming. And if you film,
they kick you out because you know it's working. Bro. Yeah,
(16:28):
I don't want it out there. I need to I
need to work my material. If I put it out,
it's one thing for you to put my stuff out.
That's just rude. Before it's ready. Yeah, I mean it's
not ready yet. I'll put it out when I think
it's ready. Otherwise, sometimes jokes, you know, they don't sing
the same when they're cut up. Then you hear a
piece of a joe. Sometimes you need to go hear
(16:48):
the entire setup. Well, that's that's the problem with everything today. Sports.
You got the Red Zone channel. All you watch is
yeah you miss man. You got these little micro movies,
or you see what you see on TikTok. You don't
see the whole thing out. To me, there's just such
a less amount of appreciation for the build up and
how everything plays out. It's like it's frustrating. Soon theyin't
gonna be like that with sex. He's gonna put in
(17:09):
and that was good. That's how it is now, cruising
story lie to you. That's sad, that's all right. You don't.
You don't tell a story. I tell a story when
I'm in it. I'm in, I tell a story. It
ain't sad, it's bad. No I tell I tell a story.
You tell a story. Yeah, I gotta tell you a story.
It could be a drama, and it may be a thriller,
(17:32):
could be a comedy, writes and intense, could be a porn.
But it's gonna be a story I like. I like
to tell the story that climaxes and it makes you
want more. You ever think of it? To go back
to back? Sometimes I go back. Can you go back
to back? No, you can't go back to if you
gotta work through the stinging. The first I feel like
(17:52):
someone punched you in the eye, your penis. But you
gotta work through it, work through you gotta work through it. Yeah.
And then yeah, but hold the bottom so you got
a little base right, hold the bottom like a balloon like.
And then you keep it going and you've got to
force it for for and then he goes. Then your
meat go. Oh, so you want to keep going right?
(18:15):
And then that second up right after that going again?
You you to sleep lie to me to get me going.
You know who is so big liight to me? Oh?
I love, I love your circumcised This has no cheese
in it. You're so tall, you're so good looking. You
(18:38):
and all these all these eyes, all your ears are
so small. My big eyes. Oh yeah, my big eyes. Yeah,
your big eyes. Oh my god, I said, light to me.
Now I'm off again. But this ain't sex. Man, my god,
(19:00):
that was great man, Thank you for you. He made
it weird, Yo, bro, is he going? Who's he telling on? Now? Hey?
Hold on, Marlin.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
So for the Golden Gloves, you're announcing the Golden Globes.
That's kind of a serious thing, right, So are you
gonna be Marlin Wayns? Are you gonna Are you gonna improvise?
Are you gonna?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
I mean, I'm gonna let it flow. I'm not gonna
be out there trying to crack jokes. It's the Golden too,
stiff pause, Right, you're Marlin Wayns. No, But I'm not.
I'm not. I'm just announcing the awards, Like who's nominated.
I don't want to be up there. You've seen this guy,
you've seen him, but you've seen him boys, his mustache.
Being he's nominated, not gonna be Johnny. But I know.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
You you're gonna call someone a negro. You're gonna call
someone a negro.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I know. I'm not. I'm not. I'm gonna be distinguished
and being a suit I will look good and I'm
gonna represent the black culture in a positive way. But
you're still but listen, it's just I'm just announcing the awards.
I'm not hosting the shot. I know, but you're gonna
find a way. It's seven in the morning. I'm not
(20:05):
gonna be funny at six o'clock in the morning. It's
six o'clock in the morning. Bad way, it's gonna go viral.
We'll see I hope not that that means they will
not let me at the show? Yo? Would you ever host?
You know what it is, It's just if I got
Joe Coy, Well, what happened is I saw our brother.
By the way, what happened is that the audience is
(20:29):
so beat down from years of Ricky Gervais, you know,
beat them they like scared, they're like abused women in
the New relationship, you know, as soon as they stage
and they mentioned mel Street, you know, Morgan Freeman. You
know what I mean, It's like, bro, Yo, I'm just saying,
(20:49):
everybody in Hollywood, you know, everybody's so but hurt, that
the defensive and you got to have a good time.
You're there to you know, be celebrated and roasted at
the same time. So I think it's there's a way
that you can do it that everybody's happy. So I
wouldn't say no to hosting, but I would say I
would definitely need time and know what I'm gonna do,
(21:10):
or and be prepared and really trust the right thing. Yeah,
I would do everything that Joe Koy couldn't didn't do
because he took it in ten days and I was there.
I was at that show and they were gunn everybody
was but hurt. So everybody was sitting there it you
ain't gonna rte me, don't don't touch my booty. Everybody
was scared, and and I don't think they gave him
(21:33):
the proper setup. You know. It was just like, hey,
here's a Filipino that looks Mexican black, give it up.
And they didn't go. They threw them out. They didn't say, hey,
this is a world renowned comedian who sells out stadiums
all across the US and abroad. He's you know, he's
(21:56):
done seven eight specials. He's number one on Netflix. Every
time you have to big him up and ingratiate him.
He came out on stage and people like who this, Yeah,
who told the bus boy to get on? They thought
it was a stand in, you know, and they didn't
give him a proper setup. So everybody's like trying to
figure out who he was. And then I think, you know,
(22:18):
you have to have time to write those jokes, and
I don't think he had the right amount of time.
I wasn't mad at him, you know. After what I
text j'ae, I was like, hey man, first of all,
tough crowd, tough crowd, everybody but her. Secondly, you know,
he's like, bro, I didn't have the time to know.
You should have came out and said that first thing.
I said, hey, guys, how you doing. I just took
this good ten days ago. Something bomb ain't my fault.
(22:41):
I just took this ten days ago. There you go, yeah,
now there goes that. See if I would have did
this joke eleven days ago, I would have had this
joke on there, you know what I mean, when something
didn't hit. But look, kudos for him doing it. I've
seen people do well there, and I've seen people, you know,
even when you do well, you you you you fail,
(23:01):
you know what I mean. It's like one of those
rooms that you can't win. Ricky Gervais, he's hilarious, but
he's crazy. He goes, I don't give a hell the audience.
Plus he's not there here either. They're laughing, but they
hate it. They're just hoping he doesn't mess with that, right,
the audience at home, it's like, yes, get those efforts.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
But him not being American also gives him the past
right because he's not from here, We're not going to
see him around.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, and he's drinking. It's like he has that I
don't I don't care. That's his brand too, Yeah, but
it's I don't care mentality. And I think that's a
great approach. But also I think you have to understand
that when you're at the Golden Globes, people are accepting
or nominated for an award for their work, and they
all work so hard to get to that place, and
(23:45):
they're all there for acknowledgment and celebration. So you have
to put that inside of your you know, inside of
your your your thought process, thought process and matrix when
you're writing these jokes that it's also a celebration, the
celebration of the work, celebration of art, celebration of Hollywood.
Now let's get to the dumb stuff. So I think
(24:07):
I think it's all in a lot of the setup
and it you know, you got to do with kids gloves,
you know what I thought too.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
A lot of these celebrities, they have these diehard fan bases,
so if you go at them, their fan base comes
at you. And celebrities don't nah know the power.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Of that na like Taylor Swift.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
You know, when Joe Koy made fun of Taylor Swift,
the fan base came at him, you know what I mean.
And it's like she was rumor, she made a face
and that's all she needed to do.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Well, that's because everybody in Hollywood was but her at
the time. And maybe it wasn't time hilarious joke at
the time, So it's not that everybody that he mentioned
everybody as soon as he did. Yeah, yeah, Meryl streepts
in the house. I think you got it right though.
Oh my god, Ben's Ben Affleck, Ben Affleck and j Lo.
(24:53):
I was at the table and everybody was like, Matt
Damon and everyone's hungry.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Let's be honest, everyone's hungry on that, you know what
I'm saying. So they're just sitting there.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
No, But honestly, we had a good table because I
was at the table with Ben and j Lo and
and uh and Matt and look, it was just a
tough time. Man. You know, sometimes you do well and
you know, I'm an actor right as well as a comedian,
So I was kind of double agenting. I was like
at the table, I was giving them under you know,
all the guys and all the people. I was telling them,
(25:25):
you know why it was hard to be a comedian
in this room. And they was like, yo, that's true.
And if I was talked to Joe, I wanted to
go backstage and talk to Joe and be like, yo,
you know or you know it's just the setup, right,
But I think, look, you got to have big balls
to do that show, and it's just one night. You know,
we've all had a bad day. Sometimes you have a
(25:47):
bad day in front of the world, but that's what
makes the come back greater. That don't define you. Joe
coy is still selling out stadiums, still rocking, special, still
funny as hell, and it would be great if he
came back this year prepared and smashed it. That'd be great.
So next year on a rematch, absolutely, I think you
(26:08):
got to it'd be greater if you bombed again. You're
laughing as he's bombing. I mean, bro, we're looking at
each other like bro, I'm laughing at the jokes, like
you know, nobody, nobody you know, but you know it
was looking. I said, Joe's a friend, somebody I respect
(26:28):
in the business, and I just think it's a tough
rum man.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
In the Golden Globe tough hosting gigs are just tough.
They're tough, bro right, and you have all these rooms
are tall, you're in your head.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
It's tough. You can't say the things that you would
normally say because you're on TV watching. Do you understand
that there's a lot that goes into invited watching your size,
So you know, look tough, tough, tough crowd, But you
just gotta get to that point. Either way it goes.
You're gonna go have fun that night. And you know
somebody's gonna be on happy, either the people in the room,
(27:01):
the people at home, the sponsors of the people put
the Golden Globes together. Somebody's gonna be upset. And if
you did it great, you got about two people that's upset,
two and then three of the other like the audiences
laughing and dying. But you're gonna piss somebody off, So
(27:23):
choose your weapon. You're gonna do white chicks too. Only
if I host the Golden Globes, Golden gloves. It's on you. No,
no, no golden globes, white chicks too. I don't know, man,
We'll see. And I was tough. The character was tough.
It was tough for you to do. Yeah, it was hard, man.
It was seven hours tough, and then fourteen hours of
(27:44):
working after that. I want to do Black I want
to do Black Dude, the movie. Make up what I
do for Black Dude the movie. I walk in, I
don't need I don't need no hair, I don't need nothing.
I walk in and action, seven hours in a chair
and I got adhd and I can't say my ass still.
You know how painful that if for somebody crazy like me,
they got to bring in a torture expert to help
(28:05):
you out, you know, to help you through that. I
had to hold my my producer's hands sometimes because Rick
altaresk because it started feeling claustrophobic. And then you wear
that makeup and then latex on your face and you, man,
your hair grows in and it grows back in your face.
When I took my mask off, by the end of
the movie, I had your face. You asked, it was
(28:27):
James Olmos. That's the second time y'all got the same skin.
Might be related. It feels better every.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Time you almost James, James almost almost almost almost.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
You gotta do it, man, you gotta do it. Maybe
we just did Scary Movie six one thing at a time,
so you know what, you know, people want, let me
finish that in Scary Movie six. But people want but
let's let's you're fighting it. Let's get Scary Movie six
done and let them if the audience goes out and
they tell us that they want to laugh and they
show up in a big way, and this movie rocks,
(29:06):
I promise you.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
So it all depends on Scary Movie six. Yeah, Scary
Movie six rocks. I will do White Chicks too.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
There you go. But everybody got to go out to
the theater and droves because I got to know people
want to laugh again. People haven't laughed real hard in
like twenty years. And we're putting this movie together and
bare knuckleboxing. We seeing who want to laugh. And if
you come out and you want to laugh and you
enjoy this one and you come out drove, you make
this a huge success. Boom. White Chicks too, Will will
(29:33):
will make it happen. So it's on the people it's
on the people. It's not on me. I'm down, I
already have, but it's on the people. I already understand
the idea. I know where it's rady, know what it's
gonna be. Really Yeah, but you have an idea for
White Chicks two, Yeah, I had an idea for Scary
Movie seven. I'm crazy. I'm just crazy like that. I'm
just trying to be prolific man in these years I
(29:54):
want I want to do great things. And so your
mind got to think not about what's happening, but what's
ahead as well. So right now, knee deep in the
editing of Scary Movie six, and that comes out June twelfth,
twenty twenty six, and then let that rock worldwide, make
it a big, crazy hit, and then we'll say, I'll
(30:16):
be doing White Chicks too. If this is a crazy hit,
are you and I think it's something the audience needs.
This this laugh is the laugh the world needs. That's
why we signed on to do Scary Movie because there's
a conversation to be had between this generation and our generation. Yes,
there is a lot that's transpired with social media and
pop culture and politics, and there's a lot of conversation
(30:40):
to be had that hasn't been had in twenty years.
So we're using this as a platform to have those conversations.
Can't wait? Are you gonna watch the Diddy documentary eventually?
But you know, I look, man, I'm not gonna keep
throwing the dude under the bus. Man. It's serving time
in prison. You know, I know Diddy, I know it's kids.
You know it must be hard for them, you know
(31:01):
what I mean? At the point, you know what I'm saying, Like,
on on a human level, I just go, all right, man,
we did it. I'm diddied out. We diddied it. We
like you know what I mean. It's like, look, how
much more easy already in cass radio. I'm further under
the bus do you throw? Man right now? Closer to
(31:22):
it than people realize, I think, And we ain't that
close by. But yo, look Puff, no, no, no, no.
You working with Puff for thirty years, you saw Big
before he passed bro, so you're close. And Jack, what
were you saying, I went to college with Puffy? Hang on?
Hang on? What were you saying? I know Diddy when
(31:42):
he was Puffy? Okay? And the documentary there was insinuations
of you know, that did he possibly had something to
do with both Tupac and Bigie. And you know who's
telling the story right. You can skew people very close
to this, but you can skew. You can create any
narrative as a producer and as a director and as
(32:04):
a storyteller. I can create a narrative. I could be like,
you know what you have. I could create a narrative.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
It all the time on the reality shows like, nah, it.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Doesn't mean it's true. It doesn't mean it's true. I
can get interviews, I can do this, I can get footage,
and I could make you think this about that person. No,
for sure, Yeah, and that doesn't necessarily mean it's true.
So for me, you know, I think, look, fifty and
Puff of a long term beef. It's personal.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
It is between you're saying fifty is wrong for doing it,
the fifties right for doing it.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
It's between him and Puff and before between him and Puff,
it's between both of them and God. Just the way
Puff is down on his love and fifties kicking a
man when he's down, and fifty of a luck turning
on fifty. You know that you gotta be careful what
you put out. There's a calma that every action that
(33:05):
you think see that day, you think we'll see that day.
I don't think. I don't think fifty does dumb stuff.
You know, he's very smart, you know, in terms of
his business, I.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Think he already had his. I think we already with
U saw it. He got shot nine times, he got
his He paid his debt early. So that's why he's
like a it.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
But you know, this is between him and Puff, and honestly,
it's between both of them and God. So you know,
only only God can judge, and both of them people
will have time to sit with God and talk about
and through everything. And right now is puff time to
sit there and have a conversation, a much needed conversation
with God. And you know, like I said, I know
(33:43):
his kids, I know his family, I know fifty. You know,
I wish no. I've seen Tupac and Biggie, both friends
of mine, die for beef. I think we all need
to learn our lessons. And at a point, you're gonna
keep one up in each other until the beef gets
so out of hand that lives are at stake, And
(34:09):
that's when you've crossed the line. And at a point.
Now it's no holes, bars and bare knuckle boxing. When
Puff come out, he gonna probably have the fifty documentary, right,
noone's working on it now. No, you should let it go. Nah,
that's re venge. Yeah, but both of this is all
all you know, it's it's coming from a deeper than rap.
(34:30):
I think too. I think it's personal. I think it's
between them. I don't know what it is, so I
don't know what they beef is. I mean, you know
what business? Who knows? Right? Stuff that we didn't get
to see. I ain't in their business. All I know
is you know my name is in it and I
ain't in it right right right? You know? Like I said,
you know bars, I got these jokes, and if I
(34:50):
got I could, I could do Joe. I could do
on both of them. But you know I should I
just choose to, you know, let them. I'd rather talk
about me. I rather talk about what hurts me. I
could do some jokes, of course, Look did he You
got to have a couple of them, A couple of jokes,
you know, but they all in good fun. But like
I said, I'm not gonna kick him man with the down.
(35:12):
I love his kids. I know as kids. I know,
you know, there's a family there. He has two daughters.
You know, here's a baby. You know what I mean.
There's a lot at the end of the day, right,
and there's no humanity as a culture. We don't have
any humanity. West empathy a Roman era, but it's on
social media. This is the Roman Empire over and over again.
(35:32):
What happened to compassion, what happened to people, what happened
to dis cancel? Culture? Got to stop because at some point,
what happens to doing your time? You did your time?
So how are you gonna get judged for the rest
of your life? When I did my time, I spent
time behind bars? When do I become uncanceled? So look, man,
at a point, I think we all got to become
(35:54):
human again, and I think we lost our humanity. But
that said, I still got these jokes. Come on, jokes.
Let's see me a whole month here and Sunday Ontario
Brea and Levity lives on Friday, December fifth, Sunday December seventh,
Improv Brayera Friday December twelfth through Sunday December fourteen, Improv
(36:15):
Ontario Thursday, December eighteen through Sunday, December twenty first, and
then I'm at Flappers Comedy Club Monday, December twenty second.
Marlin Wayns dot com. Yes, sir, if y'all want Merge
Merchant ticket, Gosh tickets, Malla, Wayne Taylor, we got it all. Hey,
Jackie Rich from The Crui Show. Thanks for listening to
The Cruise Show podcast. To make sure to subscribe and
(36:37):
here auto download so you don't miss an episode. So
so so so
What's good. It's a lot of what's good? What ups mussy?
You're checking out the Cruise Show podcast? Subscribe right Martin
Waynas is back on the cruise Pas. There he is.
What's up fool? What's up fool? What's going down? Like
you just right about doing a drive by? What's up fool?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Martin Wayns were just talking about your sleep. You have
a lot of you're gonna miss a lot of sleep
coming up. You got a busy schedule Levity Live in
Ox near December fifth through the seventh. By the way,
you can get merch and tickets all in for a
Martin Wayns dot com.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Including in my cigars this hat, cigars, the shirts. I
love that shirt Malla Wayns dot com. Okay, thank you,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
The improv on the twelfth through the fourteenth, that's mbrella,
the improv in Ontario the eighteen through the twenty first,
and then uh later that night you're announcing the Golden Globe.
So you're doing a set and then you're getting about
what an hour or two of sleep, and then you're
up three am to announce the Golden Globes.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yep, sounds very Marlin. This is Martin You know what's funny.
I don't think about the schedules. He read it out
to me. And how the hell I'm gonna do that,
I don't know. I just do it. I just take
me when I gotta go. And after the Golden glob
have Flappers that night here in Burbank. No not, yes
you are, No, it's December twenty seconds after the twenties. Yeah, bro,
wait the Golden Globes is what twenty first? And then wow,
(01:24):
So the next day, the next night, you're at f
So I'm gonna be I'm announcing the nominees of the
Golden Globe. And then on the on that day the first, no,
the eighth, and then the twenty first, I'm going to
the Golden Globs and I'm I'm gonna present.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Okay, then you're at Flappers sometime on the twenty second. Yeah,
I'm working one show at Flappers. You're gonna add another
fucking show?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
What maybe it's gonna happen, probably, uh, but I'm trying
to work new stuff, right, I don't know what I'm
gonna talk about. And this is a fun, fun part
for me, is just feeling it out, just figuring it out.
And it's nerve racking, and it's in silence, and it's
it's deep discovery and it's saying the craziest things and
(02:09):
like hopefully not being judged.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Nah, but Marlin, people love you dog. You know no,
I can say some really dumb stuff. I know, but
like you know what, every comedian.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Has that has that, but you're trying to find it,
that fear because you can't expect exactly. But Bro, you
go to war and run through these land these fields
and not step on a landmine, it's gonna happen. You
tell jokes with your entire body, with your face. People
appreciate that. You know, you know, you're in it. Bro,
You're immersing the joke, and people appreciate that because you're
performing up there, you're not necessarily just telling jokes. Well,
(02:38):
I appreciate that, but I'm getting old now, So I
just sit on the stool and I just talk. I'm
trying to get like Kyle's bey, why smoke a cigar
on stage, blow smoking your face, talk fun out or
then make y'all laugh and then go good night. I'm like, yeah,
I went to the show where you were still standing
up in so I'm not sitting down I'm just saying
I do spend time when I'm trying to figure it out.
I learned it's okay to not I don't have to
(03:01):
be all crazy. I'm trying to figure it out. So
I got to talk it out before you can animate.
You have to write, you have to figure it out.
You have to know what you're going to talk about,
and then you can think about, oh, how do I
animate that? But sometimes you go in the moment, oh
that's funny, and then you do it and you animate it.
So I don't know. I guess I don't have a process.
I don't know what you I'm gonna do. I don't
(03:22):
know my style. I figure where I'm at, how I
felt that day, what I'm talking about, I'll I don't know.
It's so I'm random. I think that's I'm making and random,
even though I have a structure that makes it tough
for people to mimic you or even try to do Marlin.
I think that's a good place to be. James Carroll,
(03:42):
who I think is arguably one of the greatest impression
is to ever lived. Yeah, Jamie Fox is good too,
Jamie's great, really good. Jamie is one day dude, is
good too. I forget his name, the white dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Matt friend, Matt Friend. Sorry, all great, Jay Farrell, he said,
(04:04):
I said, why haven't you done me? He goes, I'm
about sixty percent there, and I'm like, bro, it's been
like six years, Like, when are you gonna do me?
I can't wait to see him do me. And it's
I think it's hard to do me because I don't
have a thing. I don't I don't have a thing.
I don't have a thing that I do. I can
do drama, I do comedy, I do sketch, I do parody,
(04:25):
I do romantic comedies. I do action. I do it all,
and I do stand up and within my stand up,
I do characters. I don't have a thing. Who can
you do? Nobody? Nah, you could do somebody? No, I could.
I could ride your family members, my brother Damon right
right then I could do Sean and Sean's impression of him.
(04:48):
My impression of Sean is really it sounds like him
doing me, because when he does me, he sounds like this,
like we're gonna do this, We're gonna do that, and
I'm just like, so that's my thing for Sean that's
that's what Sean sounds like, like you're not doing me,
you're doing you. Hey stupid, he stupid, he stupid. His
voice ain't really high. He puts that on like Michael Jackson.
(05:15):
He has a regular, regular voice, but he always had
a high voice. Yo.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Did you once prank him thinking, uh, he was going
to be on something and had a fake audition to
do some kind of dolphin laugh and you use that
as leverage?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Is that true? What high Negro told you this? Chat
GPT told us?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
This told us what that You pranked Sean into a
fake audition and you used it to like blackmail them?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Chat GDP be lying universe that never happen? Did he say,
g d P? I said, chat g t P whatever, Well,
they got my story wrong, so I got their name wrong.
I'm Caddy. They got that story never happened. They're lying.
(06:07):
There's a lot of Google something else. No, there's a
lot of Google something else on chet GEP.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
There's a lot of stories out there. Man's another one,
another one. Batman returns. She was supposed to be robbing.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
I was. I got a check. I wish I had
kept it. I spent it one hundred grad you got
paid and you and I still get three dollars checks. Wait,
you still get like the three dollars. I'll take you
on a date. What you want to get she's engaged? Okay,
what kind of bacon cheeseburger? I have money for that
(06:39):
with three dollars, so I'll get you the cheeseburger. You
gotta get your own bacony, bring your own bro. You engage, missus,
been engaged, missus richie, you have your rich ass? Say
by you a cheese burger? You can take you on
a day you've met him, I'll take the referend on
a date over man wear that? What about man in black?
(07:02):
He but no, it's a weird look like people can't
see him, so you have to describe what you're seeing.
Come on on other side. He had a black turtle
that go on and slecks. The last time I seen
somebody in slecks? What's our god?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Man?
Speaker 1 (07:18):
He looks like and letting gentlemen please give him the
congregation the congregation brendon black as well. Right, yeah, he
looks like the insects in the coffee room. Yo. I
can't remark. Man, this dude, it's crazy. What's wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Man, something's wrong with every comedian camera. Is this why
you got her fiance? It looks like an interrogation.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Do it looked like I say, first forty eight, you're
about to snitch on somebody. Yo. He't about to sing
right now, You're about to snitchnitch it on in the
first forty eight.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Oh my gosh, he's not feeling well.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
That's why he's at the room. We're watching you on Twitter,
our Instagram. So yo, him was crazy.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Congratulations, man, we think you had a chance to talk
to you when when when you know the the.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Day after we saw it. It was a crazy movie. Congratulations,
Thank you brother. Hell yeah, trying to expand trying to
do different man, you know what I'm trying to do.
I'm trying to I'm just trying to do something in
the world rarely sees just like somebody that as an
artist can do it do mostly all like and equally
(08:39):
as well. Like I think a lot of uh, there's
a lot of great dramatic actors, but sometimes they're not.
You give them comedy, I don't know what to do
with it. You put them on stage, they get frozen.
I want to be one of those guys that just
I could do it all drama, comedy, stand up, hosting,
you know, characters, sketch, whatever it is, romantic, comedy, action.
I want to do it all in him.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
I could tell you dug deep though, you dug into
some frustration that you've been hanging on to form.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, probably all the hazing for my brothers, those bastards,
but I could, I could relate to it. And I
can also relate to you know, always keeping your integrity, blessing.
It's a tool, yeah, but it's one that you have
to work. So my comedy abilities, my journey doing stand
up the last sixteen years, has taught me like how
(09:25):
to let go dramatically and still I can still be funny,
but as the character. So even if I'm doing something funny,
it's not moll And being funny, it's I'm doing it
as a character. So poop a scary movie. Six is rapped,
just finished wrapping. We wrapped up two weeks ago, a
week ago. So I just got home from war and
(09:46):
it's gonna be really funny. I'm back. Shorty's back son,
Shorty's back son, Cindy's back son. Yeah, we got Brenda's son. Okay,
we got rays back, Yeah, and looking at backs Sun.
This movie is gonna be ill this summer June twelfth,
(10:10):
twenty twenty six. Go out and see it. Don't get
the bootleg unless you get it from me. Yeah, but
it's really Funast's back, No holds barred man, we created
took the gloves off re offensive or we all have
are we? You know? We having fun? Everybody gonna get some,
that's right. We spread the love and we just came
out that we just wanted to have a good time.
So that's that's exactly what we do. Restrictions. Who was
(10:32):
the first call made to from the original cast to
come back? Anna and Regina? Yeah, that's right. Well, my
first call was to Shawn Yeah and Keenan, so I
had to make sure that they know two of them
were down. And then it was like, all right, let's go.
And then uh first call was Anna and Regina like
simultaneously because they both meant that much to the franchise.
(10:54):
And then after that it was collecting little nuggets and
jewels from the past movies. Yeah, did they know like
when you told them, like they did they have a
feeling or they no? But they were happy? Yeah, yeah,
because they had did some of those movies without us,
and they's like, this don't feel the same. So it
just felt like one big reunion doing the same kind
of flavored humans. Do it right this that they were
known for it.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah, it's not that they did it wrong. You know,
they got their check. Stop playing, stop playing. Yeah, they
got their check.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Get y'all money involved. Though the sauce wasn't that, you
know what. I ain't gonna hate on them. They got
houses and you know, kids and dogs. Regina got like
two or three cats. You know, get your money. She's
not a cat lady. Are you playing music? No, that's
my my my phone, my ringing. Somebody bothered me. It's
always when you're busy, somebody want to bother you. I
(11:40):
never get a call. People can just tell man, hey, bro,
when you're in ALISONA steal your corn rolls? How do you?
I hate you? Twenty five? I want to steal your years.
Do you see them with young dudes? They thick hair
and you just go, I want to I want to
kill you, you scout. What was twenty five year old
darling doing? I had them corn rolls like that. You
(12:02):
were working though I was working. My ass you were working.
I didn't party until my thirties. In my thirties, we
didn't know how to right. You were working, that's all
you knew. You were born. I was scared to okay,
I was scared too because I knew I was crazy.
And I was like, if I party, I party like
these white boys party, I'm gonna be off the hood.
And I never wanted to be like everybody getting addicted
(12:25):
to anything. I never wanted to do nothing dumb. So
you know, I went through my little Molly face, and
that was that was a good time. And it was
just that he was on that Molly. You wasn't no,
you're lying. Never we you're lying. Yeah, you know lying No.
I went through a phase. It was it was. It
was a good time. I it was. I never got
(12:47):
like extremely like crazy. It just was like a little
micro and I'm like, yo, this this feels good. Every
music was good. We stay up all night. We played spades.
Though that's when you do too much. Yeah, somebody did
too much and then the next day people you do
too much, you beat the press, make them thinking about suicide.
(13:08):
But whoa, whoa, whoa? Did you It was a good
time man? You described Jackie accurately to work that way.
Sometimes mondays, yeah, I don't want to be here and
John sweaking day so okay, okay, period, that must be
(13:32):
hard to work with, fellas. No, But honestly, like you know,
I think I'm glad I went through those phases. I'm
at a phase in my life. I have to, right,
you got to live and learn and I did it
and I did it and I didn't do get in
no trouble. I didn't get no d u y s.
I didn't get no dumb stuff. I've actually project because
(13:55):
of it. You know. I was never never like that.
Noah never missed a date. I don't play with my stuff.
I get it in, but you know, you grow out
of it and you get I like where I'm at now.
I mean a cigar. I got my own cigar brand,
that's right. You like that? That's right, that's the Spanish name. Yes,
(14:16):
and you could get them on my mona ways dot com.
And you know, I play golf now, trying to grow up,
hang out with right now, my kids got a three
year old. Huh. No, I sucked, but that's the fun
of golf. Everybody sucks. It takes time and you want
to be good, you gotta do it every day. I
don't have time to do it every day. To link
(14:38):
up with college. Man, let's play some golf. I was
supposed to go to this thing party. No, he had
a golf tournament this weekend. I was supposed to go.
What happened. I had to work. I had to come
back here and do shows. But I was supposed to
be there today and yesterday and and golf with Mark
(14:59):
world work. But quietly, I think he's way better at
me because he has a lot more money and a
lot more time to play. I heard golf though. That's
where you know the deals are going down. Some deals,
connections are some deals. But you know, honestly, I think
that the I'm into the work. You know, I can't
write a movie playing golf. I got to be at
a computer. I got to be in front of a screen.
I got things to do. I can't do stand up
(15:21):
playing golf. I could work out a you know, an
idea and be like, hey, what do you think of this.
It's good for that, it's good for commiserating, But I
don't think it's like, you know, man, I got this
billion dollar deal playing golf. Oh, y'all look sleepy. No no,
did y'all just eat? No? No, no, yeah, we just had
y'all got the itis. Just you trying to stay up.
(15:44):
It's just no ye ask me a question. I'm listening wrong. Hey,
with all these shows coming up. You got ox ANDAR
this weekend, Brea Improv and then Ontario Prov and then Flappers.
You say you're working out stuff. Do you allow phones
in when you're working out stuff? You have your phone out?
I get you gottack, they kick you out. You lock
(16:07):
the phones up or do you wait? Now? I don't
lock them up, but I know because that costs. If
you lock them you can. You can when I first
walk on stage, get your video, and then when I
leave the stage, get your video. Okay, if you want
to do meet and Greek take a picture, great, But
while I'm on stage, no filming. And if you film,
they kick you out because you know it's working. Bro. Yeah,
(16:28):
I don't want it out there. I need to I
need to work my material. If I put it out,
it's one thing for you to put my stuff out.
That's just rude. Before it's ready. Yeah, I mean it's
not ready yet. I'll put it out when I think
it's ready. Otherwise, sometimes jokes, you know, they don't sing
the same when they're cut up. Then you hear a
piece of a joe. Sometimes you need to go hear
(16:48):
the entire setup. Well, that's that's the problem with everything today. Sports.
You got the Red Zone channel. All you watch is
yeah you miss man. You got these little micro movies,
or you see what you see on TikTok. You don't
see the whole thing out. To me, there's just such
a less amount of appreciation for the build up and
how everything plays out. It's like it's frustrating. Soon theyin't
gonna be like that with sex. He's gonna put in
(17:09):
and that was good. That's how it is now, cruising
story lie to you. That's sad, that's all right. You don't.
You don't tell a story. I tell a story when
I'm in it. I'm in, I tell a story. It
ain't sad, it's bad. No I tell I tell a story.
You tell a story. Yeah, I gotta tell you a story.
It could be a drama, and it may be a thriller,
(17:32):
could be a comedy, writes and intense, could be a porn.
But it's gonna be a story I like. I like
to tell the story that climaxes and it makes you
want more. You ever think of it? To go back
to back? Sometimes I go back. Can you go back
to back? No, you can't go back to if you
gotta work through the stinging. The first I feel like
(17:52):
someone punched you in the eye, your penis. But you
gotta work through it, work through you gotta work through it. Yeah.
And then yeah, but hold the bottom so you got
a little base right, hold the bottom like a balloon like.
And then you keep it going and you've got to
force it for for and then he goes. Then your
meat go. Oh, so you want to keep going right?
(18:15):
And then that second up right after that going again?
You you to sleep lie to me to get me going.
You know who is so big liight to me? Oh?
I love, I love your circumcised This has no cheese
in it. You're so tall, you're so good looking. You
(18:38):
and all these all these eyes, all your ears are
so small. My big eyes. Oh yeah, my big eyes. Yeah,
your big eyes. Oh my god, I said, light to me.
Now I'm off again. But this ain't sex. Man, my god,
(19:00):
that was great man, Thank you for you. He made
it weird, Yo, bro, is he going? Who's he telling on? Now? Hey?
Hold on, Marlin.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
So for the Golden Gloves, you're announcing the Golden Globes.
That's kind of a serious thing, right, So are you
gonna be Marlin Wayns? Are you gonna Are you gonna improvise?
Are you gonna?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
I mean, I'm gonna let it flow. I'm not gonna
be out there trying to crack jokes. It's the Golden too,
stiff pause, Right, you're Marlin Wayns. No, But I'm not.
I'm not. I'm just announcing the awards, Like who's nominated.
I don't want to be up there. You've seen this guy,
you've seen him, but you've seen him boys, his mustache.
Being he's nominated, not gonna be Johnny. But I know.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
You you're gonna call someone a negro. You're gonna call
someone a negro.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I know. I'm not. I'm not. I'm gonna be distinguished
and being a suit I will look good and I'm
gonna represent the black culture in a positive way. But
you're still but listen, it's just I'm just announcing the awards.
I'm not hosting the shot. I know, but you're gonna
find a way. It's seven in the morning. I'm not
(20:05):
gonna be funny at six o'clock in the morning. It's
six o'clock in the morning. Bad way, it's gonna go viral.
We'll see I hope not that that means they will
not let me at the show? Yo? Would you ever host?
You know what it is, It's just if I got
Joe Coy, Well, what happened is I saw our brother.
By the way, what happened is that the audience is
(20:29):
so beat down from years of Ricky Gervais, you know,
beat them they like scared, they're like abused women in
the New relationship, you know, as soon as they stage
and they mentioned mel Street, you know, Morgan Freeman. You
know what I mean, It's like, bro, Yo, I'm just saying,
(20:49):
everybody in Hollywood, you know, everybody's so but hurt, that
the defensive and you got to have a good time.
You're there to you know, be celebrated and roasted at
the same time. So I think it's there's a way
that you can do it that everybody's happy. So I
wouldn't say no to hosting, but I would say I
would definitely need time and know what I'm gonna do,
(21:10):
or and be prepared and really trust the right thing. Yeah,
I would do everything that Joe Koy couldn't didn't do
because he took it in ten days and I was there.
I was at that show and they were gunn everybody
was but hurt. So everybody was sitting there it you
ain't gonna rte me, don't don't touch my booty. Everybody
was scared, and and I don't think they gave him
(21:33):
the proper setup. You know. It was just like, hey,
here's a Filipino that looks Mexican black, give it up.
And they didn't go. They threw them out. They didn't say, hey,
this is a world renowned comedian who sells out stadiums
all across the US and abroad. He's you know, he's
(21:56):
done seven eight specials. He's number one on Netflix. Every
time you have to big him up and ingratiate him.
He came out on stage and people like who this, Yeah,
who told the bus boy to get on? They thought
it was a stand in, you know, and they didn't
give him a proper setup. So everybody's like trying to
figure out who he was. And then I think, you know,
(22:18):
you have to have time to write those jokes, and
I don't think he had the right amount of time.
I wasn't mad at him, you know. After what I
text j'ae, I was like, hey man, first of all,
tough crowd, tough crowd, everybody but her. Secondly, you know,
he's like, bro, I didn't have the time to know.
You should have came out and said that first thing.
I said, hey, guys, how you doing. I just took
this good ten days ago. Something bomb ain't my fault.
(22:41):
I just took this ten days ago. There you go, yeah,
now there goes that. See if I would have did
this joke eleven days ago, I would have had this
joke on there, you know what I mean, when something
didn't hit. But look, kudos for him doing it. I've
seen people do well there, and I've seen people, you know,
even when you do well, you you you you fail,
(23:01):
you know what I mean. It's like one of those
rooms that you can't win. Ricky Gervais, he's hilarious, but
he's crazy. He goes, I don't give a hell the audience.
Plus he's not there here either. They're laughing, but they
hate it. They're just hoping he doesn't mess with that, right,
the audience at home, it's like, yes, get those efforts.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
But him not being American also gives him the past
right because he's not from here, We're not going to
see him around.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, and he's drinking. It's like he has that I
don't I don't care. That's his brand too, Yeah, but
it's I don't care mentality. And I think that's a
great approach. But also I think you have to understand
that when you're at the Golden Globes, people are accepting
or nominated for an award for their work, and they
all work so hard to get to that place, and
(23:45):
they're all there for acknowledgment and celebration. So you have
to put that inside of your you know, inside of
your your your thought process, thought process and matrix when
you're writing these jokes that it's also a celebration, the
celebration of the work, celebration of art, celebration of Hollywood.
Now let's get to the dumb stuff. So I think
(24:07):
I think it's all in a lot of the setup
and it you know, you got to do with kids gloves,
you know what I thought too.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
A lot of these celebrities, they have these diehard fan bases,
so if you go at them, their fan base comes
at you. And celebrities don't nah know the power.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Of that na like Taylor Swift.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
You know, when Joe Koy made fun of Taylor Swift,
the fan base came at him, you know what I mean.
And it's like she was rumor, she made a face
and that's all she needed to do.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Well, that's because everybody in Hollywood was but her at
the time. And maybe it wasn't time hilarious joke at
the time, So it's not that everybody that he mentioned
everybody as soon as he did. Yeah, yeah, Meryl streepts
in the house. I think you got it right though.
Oh my god, Ben's Ben Affleck, Ben Affleck and j Lo.
(24:53):
I was at the table and everybody was like, Matt
Damon and everyone's hungry.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Let's be honest, everyone's hungry on that, you know what
I'm saying. So they're just sitting there.
Speaker 1 (25:03):
No, But honestly, we had a good table because I
was at the table with Ben and j Lo and
and uh and Matt and look, it was just a
tough time. Man. You know, sometimes you do well and
you know, I'm an actor right as well as a comedian,
So I was kind of double agenting. I was like
at the table, I was giving them under you know,
all the guys and all the people. I was telling them,
(25:25):
you know why it was hard to be a comedian
in this room. And they was like, yo, that's true.
And if I was talked to Joe, I wanted to
go backstage and talk to Joe and be like, yo,
you know or you know it's just the setup, right,
But I think, look, you got to have big balls
to do that show, and it's just one night. You know,
we've all had a bad day. Sometimes you have a
(25:47):
bad day in front of the world, but that's what
makes the come back greater. That don't define you. Joe
coy is still selling out stadiums, still rocking, special, still
funny as hell, and it would be great if he
came back this year prepared and smashed it. That'd be great.
So next year on a rematch, absolutely, I think you
(26:08):
got to it'd be greater if you bombed again. You're
laughing as he's bombing. I mean, bro, we're looking at
each other like bro, I'm laughing at the jokes, like
you know, nobody, nobody you know, but you know it
was looking. I said, Joe's a friend, somebody I respect
(26:28):
in the business, and I just think it's a tough
rum man.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
In the Golden Globe tough hosting gigs are just tough.
They're tough, bro right, and you have all these rooms
are tall, you're in your head.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
It's tough. You can't say the things that you would
normally say because you're on TV watching. Do you understand
that there's a lot that goes into invited watching your size,
So you know, look tough, tough, tough crowd, But you
just gotta get to that point. Either way it goes.
You're gonna go have fun that night. And you know
somebody's gonna be on happy, either the people in the room,
(27:01):
the people at home, the sponsors of the people put
the Golden Globes together. Somebody's gonna be upset. And if
you did it great, you got about two people that's upset,
two and then three of the other like the audiences
laughing and dying. But you're gonna piss somebody off, So
(27:23):
choose your weapon. You're gonna do white chicks too. Only
if I host the Golden Globes, Golden gloves. It's on you. No,
no, no golden globes, white chicks too. I don't know, man,
We'll see. And I was tough. The character was tough.
It was tough for you to do. Yeah, it was hard, man.
It was seven hours tough, and then fourteen hours of
(27:44):
working after that. I want to do Black I want
to do Black Dude, the movie. Make up what I
do for Black Dude the movie. I walk in, I
don't need I don't need no hair, I don't need nothing.
I walk in and action, seven hours in a chair
and I got adhd and I can't say my ass still.
You know how painful that if for somebody crazy like me,
they got to bring in a torture expert to help
(28:05):
you out, you know, to help you through that. I
had to hold my my producer's hands sometimes because Rick
altaresk because it started feeling claustrophobic. And then you wear
that makeup and then latex on your face and you, man,
your hair grows in and it grows back in your face.
When I took my mask off, by the end of
the movie, I had your face. You asked, it was
(28:27):
James Olmos. That's the second time y'all got the same skin.
Might be related. It feels better every.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
Time you almost James, James almost almost almost almost.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
You gotta do it, man, you gotta do it. Maybe
we just did Scary Movie six one thing at a time,
so you know what, you know, people want, let me
finish that in Scary Movie six. But people want but
let's let's you're fighting it. Let's get Scary Movie six
done and let them if the audience goes out and
they tell us that they want to laugh and they
show up in a big way, and this movie rocks,
(29:06):
I promise you.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
So it all depends on Scary Movie six. Yeah, Scary
Movie six rocks. I will do White Chicks too.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
There you go. But everybody got to go out to
the theater and droves because I got to know people
want to laugh again. People haven't laughed real hard in
like twenty years. And we're putting this movie together and
bare knuckleboxing. We seeing who want to laugh. And if
you come out and you want to laugh and you
enjoy this one and you come out drove, you make
this a huge success. Boom. White Chicks too, Will will
(29:33):
will make it happen. So it's on the people it's
on the people. It's not on me. I'm down, I
already have, but it's on the people. I already understand
the idea. I know where it's rady, know what it's
gonna be. Really Yeah, but you have an idea for
White Chicks two, Yeah, I had an idea for Scary
Movie seven. I'm crazy. I'm just crazy like that. I'm
just trying to be prolific man in these years I
(29:54):
want I want to do great things. And so your
mind got to think not about what's happening, but what's
ahead as well. So right now, knee deep in the
editing of Scary Movie six, and that comes out June twelfth,
twenty twenty six, and then let that rock worldwide, make
it a big, crazy hit, and then we'll say, I'll
(30:16):
be doing White Chicks too. If this is a crazy hit,
are you and I think it's something the audience needs.
This this laugh is the laugh the world needs. That's
why we signed on to do Scary Movie because there's
a conversation to be had between this generation and our generation. Yes,
there is a lot that's transpired with social media and
pop culture and politics, and there's a lot of conversation
(30:40):
to be had that hasn't been had in twenty years.
So we're using this as a platform to have those conversations.
Can't wait? Are you gonna watch the Diddy documentary eventually?
But you know, I look, man, I'm not gonna keep
throwing the dude under the bus. Man. It's serving time
in prison. You know, I know Diddy, I know it's kids.
You know it must be hard for them, you know
(31:01):
what I mean? At the point, you know what I'm saying, Like,
on on a human level, I just go, all right, man,
we did it. I'm diddied out. We diddied it. We
like you know what I mean. It's like, look, how
much more easy already in cass radio. I'm further under
the bus do you throw? Man right now? Closer to
(31:22):
it than people realize, I think, And we ain't that
close by. But yo, look Puff, no, no, no, no.
You working with Puff for thirty years, you saw Big
before he passed bro, so you're close. And Jack, what
were you saying, I went to college with Puffy? Hang on?
Hang on? What were you saying? I know Diddy when
(31:42):
he was Puffy? Okay? And the documentary there was insinuations
of you know, that did he possibly had something to
do with both Tupac and Bigie. And you know who's
telling the story right. You can skew people very close
to this, but you can skew. You can create any
narrative as a producer and as a director and as
(32:04):
a storyteller. I can create a narrative. I could be like,
you know what you have. I could create a narrative.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
It all the time on the reality shows like, nah, it.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
Doesn't mean it's true. It doesn't mean it's true. I
can get interviews, I can do this, I can get footage,
and I could make you think this about that person. No,
for sure, Yeah, and that doesn't necessarily mean it's true.
So for me, you know, I think, look, fifty and
Puff of a long term beef. It's personal.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
It is between you're saying fifty is wrong for doing it,
the fifties right for doing it.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
It's between him and Puff and before between him and Puff,
it's between both of them and God. Just the way
Puff is down on his love and fifties kicking a
man when he's down, and fifty of a luck turning
on fifty. You know that you gotta be careful what
you put out. There's a calma that every action that
(33:05):
you think see that day, you think we'll see that day.
I don't think. I don't think fifty does dumb stuff.
You know, he's very smart, you know, in terms of
his business, I.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Think he already had his. I think we already with
U saw it. He got shot nine times, he got
his He paid his debt early. So that's why he's
like a it.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
But you know, this is between him and Puff, and honestly,
it's between both of them and God. So you know,
only only God can judge, and both of them people
will have time to sit with God and talk about
and through everything. And right now is puff time to
sit there and have a conversation, a much needed conversation
with God. And you know, like I said, I know
(33:43):
his kids, I know his family, I know fifty. You know,
I wish no. I've seen Tupac and Biggie, both friends
of mine, die for beef. I think we all need
to learn our lessons. And at a point, you're gonna
keep one up in each other until the beef gets
so out of hand that lives are at stake, And
(34:09):
that's when you've crossed the line. And at a point.
Now it's no holes, bars and bare knuckle boxing. When
Puff come out, he gonna probably have the fifty documentary, right,
noone's working on it now. No, you should let it go. Nah,
that's re venge. Yeah, but both of this is all
all you know, it's it's coming from a deeper than rap.
(34:30):
I think too. I think it's personal. I think it's
between them. I don't know what it is, so I
don't know what they beef is. I mean, you know
what business? Who knows? Right? Stuff that we didn't get
to see. I ain't in their business. All I know
is you know my name is in it and I
ain't in it right right right? You know? Like I said,
you know bars, I got these jokes, and if I
(34:50):
got I could, I could do Joe. I could do
on both of them. But you know I should I
just choose to, you know, let them. I'd rather talk
about me. I rather talk about what hurts me. I
could do some jokes, of course, Look did he You
got to have a couple of them, A couple of jokes,
you know, but they all in good fun. But like
I said, I'm not gonna kick him man with the down.
(35:12):
I love his kids. I know as kids. I know,
you know, there's a family there. He has two daughters.
You know, here's a baby. You know what I mean.
There's a lot at the end of the day, right,
and there's no humanity as a culture. We don't have
any humanity. West empathy a Roman era, but it's on
social media. This is the Roman Empire over and over again.
(35:32):
What happened to compassion, what happened to people, what happened
to dis cancel? Culture? Got to stop because at some point,
what happens to doing your time? You did your time?
So how are you gonna get judged for the rest
of your life? When I did my time, I spent
time behind bars? When do I become uncanceled? So look, man,
at a point, I think we all got to become
(35:54):
human again, and I think we lost our humanity. But
that said, I still got these jokes. Come on, jokes.
Let's see me a whole month here and Sunday Ontario
Brea and Levity lives on Friday, December fifth, Sunday December seventh,
Improv Brayera Friday December twelfth through Sunday December fourteen, Improv
(36:15):
Ontario Thursday, December eighteen through Sunday, December twenty first, and
then I'm at Flappers Comedy Club Monday, December twenty second.
Marlin Wayns dot com. Yes, sir, if y'all want Merge
Merchant ticket, Gosh tickets, Malla, Wayne Taylor, we got it all. Hey,
Jackie Rich from The Crui Show. Thanks for listening to
The Cruise Show podcast. To make sure to subscribe and
(36:37):
here auto download so you don't miss an episode. So
so so so
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