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June 15, 2025 • 29 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
He served at the Pentagon as an army jag. He
graduated from Notre Dame and has two law degrees from
Boston University and Georgetown University. He's been practicing law for
over thirty years. He's your family's personal attorney. It's time
for the David Carrier Show.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hello, and welcome to the David Carrier Show. I'm David Carrier,
your family's personal attorney. And you have found a place
where we talk about estate planning, elder law, real estate,
business law, retirement law. That's right. If you're retired, if
you wish you were retired, if you're hoping some blessed
day to become retired, or you know a retiree, now's

(00:41):
the time to give us a shout. Six one six
seven seven four twenty four twenty four. That's six six
seven seven four twenty four twenty four. We are live
right now. But this is the you know, usually usually
we have the the week of boy Scout camp is

(01:02):
it's generally a little bit you know later, but usually
I have Father's Day at camp. But today obviously I
have it. Today is Father's Day. This is the Father's
Day edition. So not only you know all those things,
we said about retiring, same way with fathers, right, if
you're a father, if you have a father, if you
like a father, if you know a father, now's the

(01:23):
time to give us a call. Six to one, six
seven seven four, twenty four, twenty four. We're going to
talk about what fathers should do for their youngins, you know,
especially if we've got little kids. You know, we mostly
be talking about retirement, right, which is important, but you know,
if the kids are horrible brats and terrible and all

(01:44):
the rest of that, what's the point of retiring. Plus,
if you're dead, that's pretty tough to do, and it
does happen sometimes. So one of the things that young
fathers should be doing young mothers too is planning for Hey,
what if we're not around. The way it's usually done
is disastrous, as terrible, as horrible, reflects no thought whatsoever.

(02:05):
I know these are just traditional opinions by you on
the legal profession, but anyway, it's just awful the way
it's usually done. We're going to talk about that, but
I only have half an hour to do it because,
as I said, we're packing up the old kit bag
in camp camp camping, and it looks like right, now
though it's only the first half hour, it's going to
be live. So if you're sitting on a question, comment,

(02:26):
or concern and you're thinking, well, I'll get to the
second hour, no you won't because I'll be uh, I'll
be pulling a trailer that says troop two two eight
on it over to the cold canoe base. I ain't
gonna be here, but right I am right now, So
it's live. So if you have a question, comment, or concern,
six one six seven seven four twenty four twenty four.

(02:49):
That's six one six seven seven four twenty four twenty four.
Now here's the thing. Why do we buy life insurance?
Why do families with young children buy life insurance? The
reason you buy life insurance not an investment or whatever else.
The reason you buy life insurance the first and foremost
could be an investment, whatever, But the point is the

(03:09):
first and foremost reason is you might die young. You see,
and if you die young, right, that life insurance isn't
is not a lottery ticket. That life insurance policy becomes you,
becomes you for it becomes you for purposes of income,

(03:31):
all right. The whole idea behind the life insurance is
to replace you as a way journer, as a bringer
of good things, et cetera. Cter. So when you see
people who've got one hundred thousand dollars of life insurance,
they got one hundred thousand dollars. Now it used to
be one hundred thousand dollars with a lot of money,
and you would get that with your you know, with

(03:52):
your employment package, what have you. Not anymore, one hundred
thousand dollars is gone in a blink of an eye, gone,
just like that. But even a million dollars the way
you should be thinking about your life insurance, fathers, mothers too. Right,
figure whatever it is you're bringing into the family on

(04:13):
an annual basis, how much money are you bringing in
multiply times ten, I would say by twenty figure a
five percent return on that money. So you're gone to
your reward such as it is, right, and now they've
got to replace you somehow. Now, obviously there's the emotional

(04:34):
aspect of it, and that's terrible, very difficult, cetera. But
but the financial aspect is what we're talking about right now.
Where is the money going to come from? Yes, social
Security provides survivor benefits minor survivor benefits. Ask anybody trying
to live on Social Security. It's very difficult to do,

(04:55):
and it's impossible if you've got a family. So that's
why you have the life insurance. But now here's the problem.
Let's say you're both gone. Mom and dad have both
died horrific car accident, whatever it is, who knows. Okay,
they're both gone, and now there's a big chunk of
money there presumably a big chunk of money. There should
be a big chunk of money, because you bought your

(05:17):
term life insurance, twenty five year term life insurance, right figure,
the kids not out of the nest till they're twenty
five years old, so at least the twenty five year
level term right level premium term life insurance. Anyway, get
the cheapest you can find because they all pay off. Anyway.
The point is that what happens if it happens. You

(05:40):
bought the life insurance, you got the estate plan. But
the estate plan is for crap, most of them, because
what they do, and this is terrible, what they do
is they say, oh oh, and this is how they'll
fill out the this is how they do it. It
drives you nuts. What they'll do is they say, oh,
give it to your spouse, right, so if you die,
goes to the spouse, and if his spouse dies, then oh,

(06:00):
divide it equally among the kids, equally among the kids.
You know how you know how dumb that is. It's dumb,
It's totally it's wrong. Fair is not equal. Equal is
not fair when it comes to your mind or children.
I know I don't talk about this very much, but
it's mind boggling that this is what everybody's telling you

(06:23):
to do. Do it with your IRA, do it your
life insurance. Wrong. Wrong. Couldn't be more wrong. You got
two kids, they're five years apart. One of them is
starting college, the other one is a year into their career.
What's what's fair about equal? How is equal fair? In
that situation? One of them had five more years of
you guys, five more years of family support, intact family,

(06:46):
all the rest of it. One of them's going into college,
finishing their first year of college. The other one is
just starting high school. How's that fair? Oh? And by
the way, one of your kids needs orthodontia. You know embraces.
Do they do braces anymore? I don't know. Anyway, you know,
in them plastic things you put in your mouth. That's expensive.

(07:06):
It's not cheap. But you say, oh, oh, you got
the straighten the teeth stuff. But you were born with
naturally straight teeth. Okay, so, but we want to be
fair about this. We want to be fair about this.
So we're gonna spend two thousand dollars to the guy
who straightens out your sister's teeth, and you get two
thousand dollars for why, oh, because it would be equal. Oh,

(07:33):
but you're playing football and you just you know, you
broke your knee or something terrible. Right, Oh, the emergency
room visit there costs three hundred bucks. Here you go,
sis have three hundred bucks. Well, we pay three hundred
bucks for your brother, so we got to pay three
hundred bucks for you. It's insanity. It makes no sense,
and yet in a very very difficult period of time,

(07:55):
that's what you're gonna do. It makes no sense at all. Okay,
here's the other thing that doesn't make sense. Giving money
to kids. How does that make any sense? You put
the kids on the life insurance possible and don't tell me, Oh,
we could do the Uniform Trust the Minors Act. But Oh,
come on, you're not doing that anyway. You know you're

(08:15):
not doing it. And would it be better than nothing, Yeah,
it'd be better than nothing. But you're not gonna do
it anyway, because that's not how you do it. I
know you, all right. What you're gonna do is you're
gonna think, well, well, mom and dad are dead, the
kids are all little. Oh well, I'm sure they would
go to the god parents. What makes you think that?

(08:38):
It is so totally irrelevant, you know. All now everybody's
fighting over the kids, right Who gets the money. The
probate court gets the money where it's in a restricted
account until they're eighteen. You want some money, go ask
the probate court. Oh, that'll be cheap, that'll be easy
to do, that'll be flexible and wise and smart and
everything else. Are you kidding me? No? And here's the thing.

(09:02):
When the kids are eighteen, they get the money anyway.
And again, don't talk to me about the utmos and
ugmies and all the rest of it. You're not doing
that anyway. We all know you're not doing that. So
the idea here is the money is under the control
of the probate court, where it's hard to get to.
Is it protected, yes, one hopes, one hopes, but yet
one hears stories that it ain't so protected as you

(09:24):
think it might be. Okay, so look out for that.
But the worst thing, well, yeah, the worst thing is
what happens when the kids turn eighteen because you haven't
done your planning. And because when the kids turn eighteen,
guess what, here's a check. Because they're adults now. Now,
they're not adults for gambling. They're not adults for driving

(09:47):
late at night. They're not adults for smoking or gambling
or anything else that adults do except to get a
big chunk of money so they could get a whole
bunch of new friends, new diseases, new bad habits. What
are you thinking? This is Father's Day. Let's make some
changes that are positive. When we get back, we talk
about exactly what you need to do. Maybe I'll even

(10:09):
stick around for fifteen minutes and we can always hitch
up the trailer real quick. You're listening to the David
Carrier Show. This is our going off to camp and
Father's Day show, So it's going to be short live.
If you've got a question, call now.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
Don't wait this hour of the David Carrier Show is
pro bono, so call in now at seven seven twenty four,
twenty four. This is the David Carrier Show.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
Welcome back to the David Carrier Show. I'm David Carrier,
your family's personal attorney. Now's the time to call six
one six seven seven four twenty four, twenty four. This
is the Father's Day edition, which means I'm heading off
for camp yeah with the Boy Scouts all week long.
It's it's it was one of those things where, you know,
I started doing it and years and years ago and

(10:56):
I kind of figured, well, you know, this will be
a nice vacation, right, and I can bring some book
books and hammock and relax. And then they got me
teaching merit badge courses and it fills up your whole
freaking day. You know, all I do all day is
teach merit badges, which which liosten. I'm not well, I
am complaining, but not not too seriously. It's actually it's

(11:18):
actually I'll tell you what, if hang out with some
Boy Scouts if you want to, you know, if we
want to revive your faith in America and all the
rest of that stuff, you know, besides watching military stuff,
go by which I always love. I got to tell you, you know,
it's interesting they had. Well I'm not going to go
there forget about it anyway. What we're talking about, because
today's Father's Day, right, Father's Day, and what we're doing,

(11:40):
we're talking about how you're failing your kids when you're dead, okay,
And I'm talking about I'm directing this specifically families with
younger children. I understand that usually we're dealing with older folks,
you know, where the grim reapers footsteps are getting louder
and louder all the time. Ah, I'm there too. But

(12:00):
but the most damage, the most frustration comes right, not
with older folks. Okay, older folks, you lived your life, okay,
and the fact that you're going broke and the government's
got the screwy programs and it's screws you and it's terrible. Yes,
all of that's true, right, But that affects you. That

(12:25):
has to do with you. Okay, If you make bad choices,
you suffer the consequences of those bad choices. But if
you're a dad and you got little kids and you die, now,
your bad choices affect the next generation. Okay. That's why
as much as it's true that, I mean, older people

(12:45):
tend to die more than younger people, that's true, and
you know, tend to be more in tune with it. Yes,
that's true also, But on this Father's Day, we're going
to focus on young families. Now we've got Tina on
the line. She jump to the head line. So, Tina,
how can I help whaty.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
You've talked about cottages in the past. Oh, yes, funding them?
Have We got to the put it in an LLC thing?
And then I listened to you, but I didn't hear
the third thing you said, that's not the best option.

Speaker 4 (13:21):
I wanted to hear the oh oh, and I'm interested
in funding it so that my children, their children at
et cetera, can have it in perpetuity.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
Okay, so here's how it goes. Now, I'm gonna stick
around for fifteen minutes to get to the thing with
the young children. But let's talk about cottages. The first
way is put them on the deed terrible awful, horrible,
no good, very bad. Number two the LLC, which is
much better, much better because you've got limited liability for
all the other members. So when you're one kid invites
the biker gang and the terrorized neighborhood. Not everybody's liable

(13:57):
for that. That's good. So doing the LSA is a
good idea, and there are rules. Not everybody shows up
on the fourth of July. And you can actually deny
access to people who don't pay the taxes, utilities upkeep
or keep leaving the garbage in the kitchen and stuff
like that. That's all good. The problem with the LLC
is not so much what it is, but it's not

(14:19):
really so much a legal problem, perhaps, except that an
LLC interest is generally speaking an available asset for bankruptcy,
for lawsuits, that kind of thing. The way these are
done typically now some and so there are two times
when the thing blows up. One is divorce bankruptcy lawsuit,

(14:41):
and then you've got to pay off the person who
now owns your brother or sister's share of the cottage.
You got to pay them off, or they just decide, eh,
I don't like the cottage anymore. Eah, I'm tired of fishing.
Just give me my money.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
Now.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
The other ones have to buy that one out, because
there's always in the YELLC there's always a buyout provision.
That's why they fail, because you know, it's like nobody
wants to pay that kid, and I'll just give it
to the rich brother and you know he'll get it
or a sister whatever. So which defeats the whole idea
of we're leaving the cottage to the kids, the grandkids,

(15:20):
the next generation. So here's the thing. About one hundred
years ago, John Muir, this guy named John Muir went
to Ulysses S. Grant and he said, Hey, this is
this place called Yellowstone, and oh my goodness, is it wonderful.
But if we don't preserve it for everybody, and ain't
gonna be here. And that was the first national park.
That is the inspiration for our cottage trust. It's a nation.

(15:45):
Think about it like a national park. Right, Like, you've
never been to Yellowstone. You'll never go to Yellowstone. It's
got guysers and bears and oh my god. Plus I
understand it's about to erupt. So you know, even thinking
about Yellowstone gives you the hives. And you get a
doctor's letter that says, Tina will never go Tina from
Grand Rapids will never ever go to Yellowstone. Well, try

(16:08):
sending that into the Department of the Interior and cashing
in your share of Yellowstone. It doesn't work like that.
Why should it work that way with the family cottage? Okay,
So the idea here is we're going to hold the
cottage in the National Park model trust. Okay, there's one trustee.

(16:29):
This is my favorite way to do it. But you
can have a committee if you want. I don't think
it's a good idea, but you've got a trustee. Nobody
for legal purposes, nobody owns a share of the cottage.
There are beneficiaries of the cottage trust, which is technically
a discretionary third party trust. It's third party settled discretionary trust.

(16:54):
And the asset is not money. The asset is use
and the income is use of the cottage. The asset
is the cottage, use of the cottage. So here's the idea.
If I put the cottage plus I always say five
years of expenses, and those expenses include sinking, fun for
the chimney, the roof, the patio, whatever. Okay, you put

(17:17):
that in the trust, and then right then, now you've
got rules. Now you've got accountability, and everybody who uses
the cottage must contribute what it costs to maintain the
cottage for the week that they've got it. So if
you figure an annual budget, divide by ten ten weeks
in summer, right, if you're out there for a week,

(17:38):
this is what it's going to cost. There's no profit
in there, there's no and nobody's getting anything. It's just
this is what it actually costs, which will be a
total eye opener for a lot of kids. It can't
believe it actually costs that much, but it does when
you do it that way. When you provide five years
of financing, it's not five years and we drop over dead. No,
it's five years of building, building, building, because we all know,

(18:02):
bad times happen, and when bad times happened, Mom left
us a nice cushion to keep paying the taxes so
we don't lose the cottage. Are you with me on this?

Speaker 3 (18:11):
So?

Speaker 2 (18:12):
All right? So there are rules, lots of rules and
just right if I could coin a phrase, so and
clean up is always part of it. Like I think
I may have shared before, my brothers and I own
a place on Cape Cod. Well, anybody who uses it,
part of the cost of using it is to have
the two ladies who live down the street come in

(18:34):
and clean up after. Just to make sure. Now If
you're a jerk, they'll have a lot of work to do.
If you're nice, and we all are, then they won't
have too much to do. But they will take the dryer,
take the sheets out of the dryer, put them back
on the beds, make sure that there's a clean liner
in every garbage, you know, all that kind of stuff.
But that's what you do. You put this and it

(18:56):
goes into the trust when you're dead. While you're alive,
I sell it, do whatever you want with it, okay,
but we do an asset protection trust. So the nursing
home is not going to get it. That's step one.
Step two. When you leave it to the kids, you're
creating the Tina National Park, your Ulysses S. Grant all
over again. And it's a resource to see. If you

(19:17):
lose the cottage, will the kids ever have a cottage?

Speaker 3 (19:20):
No?

Speaker 2 (19:22):
Well, great will your great grandkids say, wow, great Grandma Tina.
What a hero she's like Ulysses S. Grant, You know,
setting up this thing that's wonderful for us, and nobody
can cash it in. That's really important. Nobody can cash
in their share now if it's insolvent or if unanimous
agreement everybody agrees you how you can get rid of it.

(19:42):
But that's the idea, Okay, Tina.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
All right, thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
You're very welcome. You're listening to the David Carrier Show.
I'll be back after the news and hit up what
you should be doing with your kids. I don't want
to take less than fifteen minutes.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
David's got the how too you're looking for just call
seven seven twenty four. This is the David Carrier Show.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
Well, welcome back to the David Carrier Show. I'm David Carrier,
your family's personal attorney, apologizing because heading out for camp. Well,
I should be doing it now. But anyway, we're gonna
do this last one because we promised on Father's Day
that we're going to tell you young families what you're
doing wrong. Of course that would take a well more

(20:29):
than a more than a single show. But anyway, here's
the here's the deal. Fair is not equal. Equal is
not fair. Don't be thinking I'm going to treat my
kids equally, because that is the worst thing you can do.
You're not doing that, now, Why would you do it?
After you're dead?

Speaker 3 (20:49):
Right?

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Why would you do that? You know, think about it
in terms of emergency room visits or orthodontia whatever. You know,
you're not treating your kids equally. Kid get what they need,
you provide what they need. But that is not how
it works with the life insurance or the eiras or
anything else. But now with adult kids, I'm fine with it.

(21:11):
But with minor kids, this is how the kids are
supposed to make it through life without you. I mean,
come on, I mean I get that you're gone. The
money is there to substitute for you. That's the deal.
That's what it's there for. Okay, so let's make the
money work as if you were still there. Here's how

(21:31):
you do it. Your ira iras iras should be equal.
I know I just said they shouldn't be equal, But
the point is that you can maximize the tax advantages
to the kids if you do the iras equally. Treat
it like a pie. Everybody gets an equal slice of
the pie, right, and you can, like I say, you

(21:53):
can maximize the tax advantages for your kids if you
treat those equally. So let's do that, all other things
being equal. But you know you still like the kids.
I know, if you disn't hurt them, go ahead, But
if you're concerned about them, then equally, because there are
age related distribution rules and you want to take advantage

(22:18):
of those maximize the benefits. So fine, you want to Now,
I'm not saying to put your kids on the IRA.
You put a trust so the kids don't blow the
money in the first you know, half an hour. Right,
here's the problem with the way most people do stay
playing for minor children. When they're eighteen, they get the money.
So new money, new friends, right, new diseases, and new habits,

(22:44):
all right, six months later, nine at day outside, the
new friends will be gone, the new money will be gone, right.
The diseases are going to hang around for lifetime, and
so will the bad habits. Terrible. Don't do that to
your kids. What do you think right now? How do
we make sure that we maximize the benefit for the kids.

(23:05):
Number one iras to the kids in trust? Now you say,
and I've said this before, you can't put an IR
in a trust. It triggers all the income tax, right,
it does. And if you just put that revocable living
trust that you downloaded online or you got at the
dinner or something like this, if you just use the
typical IR, the typical revocable living trust as the beneficiary

(23:26):
of the IRA. You're going to blow what I'm about
to say. It won't work. And this is why your
financial advisor pulls your hair out whenever anyone suggests making
a trust the beneficiary of the IRA, because they've seen
it go wrong so often. But it's not a question
of does it have to go wrong. It doesn't have
to go wrong. It goes wrong because you weren't thinking

(23:47):
about it, because oh, you got to do the trust,
and you make the trust the beneficiary. No, no, no,
it's got to be a particular kind of trust. Got
to be. It's got to have the provisions in there
so that it is a qualified benefitiary conduit trust to
the kids. Okay, there's all kinds of wonderful stuff. You
can do. A secure act too, made it really wonderful.
So that's what we're doing with the IRA. The IRA

(24:10):
four oh one k whatever it is, going to the
kids equal shares through a trust so they don't blow it.
As I say in the first fifty second, then have
to pay all compacts three years later when the IRS
sends them. Notice, oh I didn't know, right, And now
you're in taxtit for the rest of your life. Thanks
for nothing, Dad. Anyway, So that's number one. Everything else

(24:30):
and this is the life insurance I'm telling you to get.
This is the term life insurance, level, term level, premium
term life insurance. Get that. Get that. It's only it's
not a lottery ticket. Oh boy, dad died, we get
the money. No, no, it's not like that. It's like, oh,
that died. Well, at least we're not going broke, thank you.

(24:50):
That's the purpose of the life insurance. Now you get
the life insurance, but we don't divvy it up to
the kids. Instead, we put that into the pot pot trust.
And I don't mean cannabis. Think of it like a stupot. Okay,
Like right now, if your football player kid had to

(25:12):
eat the same amount as the water color painting kid, right,
they wouldn't do very well if you forced the badminton
kid to I'm probably getting all this all wrong, but anyway,
you get the idea. If you have the kid who
doesn't eat a lot of can need a lot of
calories to eat as much as the football player, it's

(25:32):
not going to work out well if you make the
football player eat as much as the kid you know
who likes to read yours truly, Well, that's not going
to work out well either. Okay, you gotta be flexible.
Kids need different things from you at different times of life.
So what you want to do is you want to
put the proceeds from the sale of the house, the

(25:53):
life insurance, your investments, taxable investments. We already dealt with
the iras for or one case tax advantage asseth everything
else goes together in the pot. Now, Uncle Rupert there
who you trust beyond belief. Auntie Tricia, who's you know,
wise beyond her years, and she's got a lot of them.
You give them the ladle, you give them the Scooper spoon, right,

(26:18):
and they dish out the money to the kids, not equally,
not equally. You're not equal. You don't treat your kids equally.
You treat them fairly. And that's the idea. They're dishing
the money out fairly. Okay, because the way your family
works right now, the older ones are leaving, right and

(26:38):
hopefully hopefully they're plural. Anyway, the older ones are leaving,
but all the family resources are there for the youngest, right,
how would it be fair you got four kids how'd
be fair to three quarters of the money is gone
and the last one's got to get buying twenty five percent?
Not fair, not good, don't do it horrible. Okay. But
when you put all the money in the pot trust

(27:02):
and Antatricia is is feeding it out to the kids
as they need it fairly but not equally. Okay, Then
the money is there intact for the youngest kid, all right, Yes,
it supplements the equal division of the IRA money. This
is a supplement to even things out. Okay, when the
youngest one, this is my advice, this is a thought,

(27:24):
this is a concept. Right, don't divvy it up. Don't
divide it up until the youngest. I always say twenty five,
make it twenty six, make it twenty I don't care
what you do, but be thinking about this when the
youngest one, when you're thinking, kick them out of the nest.
Time for fly little bird. You know, go right, or

(27:45):
you're never gonna go and we just don't care anymore.
To age twenty five. When the youngest is twenty five,
then you divide equally. Okay. Then the main course becomes
dessert becomes the extra. It's not the lifeblood anymore. You
should have You should have gotten out of here already, right,
But we still don't give the money to the kids.

(28:05):
At age twenty five, We just divided equally. Then Aunt Tricia,
Uncle Rupert stays in charge of the money until the
kid is thirty years old. When the kids third, each
one gets their own trust. When the kid's thirty years old,
then they get to invest it. Okay, they get to
manage it. It becomes real to them, all right. Then

(28:25):
when they're forty years old, they can fire Uncle Rupert.
Empty the thing, go have a party, whatever you want
to do. But there's a ten year apprenticeship in there
where the kid is getting used to the money. The
absolute worst thing that you can do to anybody is
dump a ton of money on them. People go crazy.
They they had this thing the South Seas. This was

(28:48):
in England way back when right all of a sudden
people got wealthy. They went nuts. Then the whole thing
fell apart, boom, they lost everything. People went nuts. More
people went nuts when they got a sudden accession of wealth,
when all of a sudden the money just poured in,
they went crazier than when they lost everything. Don't do

(29:10):
that to your kids, please on this father's I'm reaching
out to you anyway, that's what you should be thinking about, you,
families with young children. There all right, you've been listening
to the David Carrier Show. I'm late for camp. Love y'all,
See you next week.
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