(2025) 6-29 David Carrier Show Hour 1 Podcast

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who and welcome to the Davy Carrier Show. I'm David Carrier,
your family's personal attorney, and uh, you know what, this
is the time for you to give us a call
at sixty one six seven seven four twenty four twenty four.
That's six one six seven seven four twenty four twenty four.
You know, you might think, oh, the world is getting

(00:20):
horrible now you know everything's terrible? Is everything terrible? No,
everything is not terrible. In fact, everything's getting heck of
a lot better than you think. It's unbelievable. I mean,
I don't know if you've been watching in the last
I don't know a few months, A lot of things
have been happening that maybe you thought would never I'll

(00:42):
tell you what things I didn't think were going to happen.
I didn't think we're going to happen. Did you ever
think that we wouldn't be threatened with nuclear weapons from
a from a regime that preaches death to everybody and
thinks of us as a great saintan Do you ever
think that that would that that would not be at
least on the table. Guess what, it's not on the
table anymore, you know, would you ever think that terrorist

(01:04):
organizations funded by that entity, by that government whatever you know,
was ever wiped out. And here's the other thing. Here's
the other thing that really that really kind of gets
me because you know, we're all focused on what's going
on over there, right on the Middle East and all
the rest, all that, and everybody what about that? Right

(01:27):
along this time for twenty thirty years anyway, there have
been countries in East Africa that have been fighting each other.
Millions and millions of people have died, millions of them
have died, and most people not even aware of it.
I mean, it's the deadliest war that I mean, everybody's

(01:48):
aware of the Middle East. Why because we get oil
from there, I gas, and we're all worried about China
and I wan, oh the Philippines and oh that's a
that's a concern, as it should be. I'm not saying.
But but the neglect, I don't know neglect is the
right word, but the lack of attention put it that way,
lack of attention to what's been going on in Africa

(02:10):
has always been a puzzlement to me on the part
of the people who are like, who are you know,
the bleeding But that was the kid. We used to
call the bleeding heart liberals. Right, well you have the
bleeding hearts who are all worried about stuff, right, Oh,
what about this? What about that? You know? Oh x
people number of people died over here or died over there,

(02:31):
and it's always so terrible. And millions have been killing
each other in fighting over stuff, and guess what, it
ain't happening anymore. And so you know, there's a politician
that a lot of people love to hate, I get it,
bombastic and has funny hair and whatnot. Right, but that

(02:58):
politician is the the only politician I'm aware of who hasn't, like,
totally ignored the fact that Africans sub Saharan Africans in
Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of Congo have been killing
each other at record setting rates. I mean, look, you
look at what's going on in you know, in Ukraine

(03:21):
and Russia and stuff, and that's all terrible and it
is terrible, don't get me wrong. And they've probably lost
a million dead a million you know how many died
in Africa? Six million, six million over twenty years. Just
keep killing each other and it's like, what did it
take for them not to be killing each other. You know,

(03:43):
you think about all the world's terrible these days. Oh,
everything's bad. It's like, well, wait a second, that's a
bad thing that's been going on like since the I
don't know, sixties whatever, right, and it's been going on
a long time. Remember be Afra and all the rest
of it. That's the same sort of war. Anyway, The
point is it's over. Now, they're in the White they're

(04:06):
at the White House over the weekend signing a peace agreement.
It's like, oh my goodness. I mean, it's one of
those things I think. I tell you, it's one of
those things that's happening where you think if you're thinking, oh,
you know, there's all this horrible horribleness going on, that's

(04:27):
a thing that's been sort of background horribleness, right, that
is now at an end. It's like, and I don't
know if you remember, do you guys probably remember a
lot of people don't remember when Berlin well came down
and you know, Soviet Union turned into Russian and all
the rest of that. Remember that, Remember the background fear

(04:50):
which kind of went away. When I was working at
the Pentagon, the story was there were like a dozen
or so warheads targeted on the gazebo that's in the
middle of the Pentagon. Pentagon is you know, it's hollow, right,
I mean, it's Pentagon, but there's a big courtyard in
the middle. And in the middle of the courtyard in

(05:11):
the middle that the pentagon is a gazebo. And it's
more than a gazebo really, it's it's it's a cafeteria.
You get your lunch there and stuff in the in
the summertime, very nice, all the rest of it. But
the gazebo was targeted and the story was like who, like,
how do you even know? But this is what the

(05:33):
story was. You know, twelve to fourteen warheads were targeted
on the gazebo. And every day you go to work
and your past I cut through on my way through
the office, through the through the courtyard. It was kind
of nice. And you know, I have to wonder, was
today the day they the Russians decided were Soviets, that's
how we thought of them, you know, is today the
day they take out the gazebo? Right? It is today

(05:56):
the day? Or is there going to be an airliner
from Washington National which is right across the way now
Reagan National, is that gonna is that gonna barrol roll
into the into the gazebo, and then you didn't have
to worry about it anymore. All of a sudden, just
like that, you didn't have to worry about that anymore.
And one of the background things I think has been

(06:18):
this ongoing slaughter in in uh in Africa. And apparently
apparently all it took, or what it took, was somebody
to think about it a little bit differently, approach it
a little bit differently in a non customary way, in

(06:38):
a way that has a whole bunch of people going,
oh my goodness, oh you know, you can't do it
like that. By somebody who decided maybe you could do
it like that. And and now apparently we've got peace
in Africa. It's like, I don't you know, I don't
think people appreciate just what's been going on here in
the last six months. There's there been a lot of confusion,

(06:59):
a lot of upset, a lot of this that and
the other thing. You know, would you prefer that it
be done with a with a more I don't know,
a regular style or something like that. Maybe maybe, But
at the end of the day, if people aren't killing
each other. Maybe that's not a bad thing. Hey, right,

(07:19):
maybe we should put up a little bit of nonsense.
I I often feel that that's the way I approach
estate planning. I'm just saying, right, it's it. Is it different?
Is it? Is it? You know? I get criticized, not
not by regular folks. I mean because we're doing amazing things.

(07:40):
We're doing good things, and it's fun and it's and
it's engaging, and it's all that stuff. Right, at the
same time, it is very different than what most people
are doing. And so you know, you tend to get
a target on your back for that, you know, in
that community, which is fine, Which is fine. That's just
that's just the price of admission. If you're going to
do things differently than you got to accept the slings

(08:03):
and arrows, as Shakespeare put it, slings and arrows of
outrageous fortune. Well, there it is. But at the same time,
if you're actually saving middle class families, if you're actually
getting benefits that people have paid for, if you're actually
making sure that when they're remembered, they're remembered with gratitude, reverence, honor,

(08:24):
and an appreciation of how they actually live their lives
instead of having it all screwed up at the end,
having the last act of your life be a oh
my god, why didn't they take care of business instead?
It's all nice and smooth, one thing after another. You know,
it's is it worth it? Well, I think it's worth it. Obviously,

(08:44):
I'm going to keep at this for this long. But
I didn't think it was worth it. But my point is,
if you look at the wider world right now, right,
and look at home, look at close to home, what's
going on with the economy, this dock market, everything else.
You know, I was told we were heading for a
depression and apparently, uh, apparently the depression is off the table. Also,

(09:11):
we're not doing that anymore. Now. It's gonna be in
the same happy days of here again. But the markets
back to where it was, and it looks poised for
a big jump and peace. I don't know if you
noticed this peace is breaking out. I mean, I'm fixed everything,
and the Russians are still you know, kooky, nutty and whatever,

(09:32):
but there it is. But good are good things happening? Yes,
amazing good things are happening. In America. Is playing a
very important role in making those good things happen. Be
proud of yourself. You should be proud of your country.
It seems like to me, just objectively evaluating what's been
going on in the last few months. Yeah, yeah, loud

(09:56):
and bragger, braggadocious and what have you. But at the
same time, six million Africans killed each other, you know, fighting,
and that's over with. That's a big deal, seems like
to me. You've been listening to the David Carrier Show.
I'm David Carrier, your famili's personal attorney. Welcome back to

(10:17):
the David Carrier Show. I'm David Carrier, your famili's personal attorney.
Give us a call. Why don't just six one six
seven seven four twenty four twenty four. That's sixty one,
six seven, seven four twenty four to twenty four will
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(10:39):
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(10:59):
electronic mail. You don't even have to use the stamp.
That's how easy it is. But it's more difficult than
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I get lonely here. I'm just saying anyway, plus plus
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(11:19):
be a good way to deviate me from what you
don't want to hear about. And you know, you know,
every once in a while somebody's like, oh, you're just
filling space, or you know, like they're bored or something.
You know, it's like, hey, there are other radio stations, right,
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(11:44):
you know, if you want to make it more interesting,
six one, six, seven seven four twenty four twenty four
is a way to make it very interesting, very quickly.
That's a deal. But again, of course, the email, or
you can go to the website Davidcarrier Law dot com
and on the website you'll find our AI powered expert.

(12:06):
There's a seriously, I mean it is, it is kind
of it's kind of creepy, I gotta tell you. I mean,
I find it a little bit a little bit disconcerting
where you can get information that you didn't look up.
You know, you're reading a book or you look for
the index, so you know, you use your materials to
find find stuff. And the idea that there's this computer

(12:31):
AI thing that that goes finds it for you, you know,
and it actually does a pretty good job of it,
you know, pretty pretty complete. And we've got one of
those on the on the website. So if you go
to the website and you can do it on your
phone's it's it's optimized for that, then just give it

(12:53):
a try. See what you think. Ask asking a question,
there's some there's some questions that the most common questions
are kind of they're already can just click on those
if you'd like, you know, I'll give you some info.
But if you put your and you don't have to
not personal information in the sense of your name or drat,
not nothing like that. But if you describe your situation right,

(13:17):
it'll it'll actually give different results based on you know,
I'm you know, I'm a single person twenty one years old. Okay,
well here's an idea, you know, here's some stuff or
I've got three kids and I'm in my eighties and
like that. It's it's really, it's really pretty useful. So
I don't want to bring this into a commercial to
go to the website, but but you really should, you

(13:38):
really should give it a try. You know, we're talking
before about about different approaches put it that way, and
what's customary and what do we accept as normal kind
of normal behavior in international diplomacy and what have you
in if it gets result, I mean, there's always people sniping,

(14:02):
you know what I mean, you kind of hate that.
Have you ever have you ever had something where it's
like you're gonna do something and instead of people helping out,
you know, something that everybody recognizes like a good thing
to do, but instead of helping out, they're snippy, sniping,
you know like that. It's it's terrible. And one of

(14:24):
the things that that I've been saying now for what
thirty five years, as long as I've been doing this
and on the show of course almost twenty years, I've
been saying is the way a state planning has done
is really not good. People think they should have documents
and instead you need a plan. There's a difference between
documents and a plan. And fine, do you need documents

(14:45):
to implement your plan? Yes? Yes, but if you have
if all you have is documents that don't really reflect
what's going on. But way, it's okay, I've got a will,
I've got to trust, I've gotta this, i gotta that. Well, okay, good?
Do they actually carry out what you want to do?
Have we gone through a thought process about what the

(15:06):
appropriate thing to do? Actually is what is it that
you need? What is it that you want to accomplish?
That's the first question, you know, The age old question
we have is when people say, well, will or a trust?
What's better will or a trust? You're asking you're asking
the question what's better a hammer or a or a

(15:30):
paint brush? But that is what you're asking, right when
you say what's better a will or a trust? Well,
is a hammer better than a paint brush? Is it?
It's a stupid question, say stupid? Well, with hammers and
paint brush, it's pretty obvious, right, it's a stupid that's

(15:50):
a stupid question. One's not better than the other. One
does one thing, the other does something else. Right, And
depending on what it is you want to do, better
have a hammer or be better have a paintbrush. Now
you can hit things with a paintbrush. I have done,
but it's pretty hard to paint with a hammer. Right,
Some things can be modified so that maybe not suboptimal,

(16:12):
but you can get it. You can get it done
to some degree with the wrong quote unquote the wrong tool.
You can still get it done. But in order to
decide whether you need a hammer or a paintbrush, you
still have to back it up one step and say, hmm,
what am I trying to accomplish? What am I trying

(16:33):
to do here? And so often when people say do
you need a hammer or a paintbrush? Which is it? Well,
it depends on the job. And then what kind of hammer,
what kind of paintbrush? Right, are you trying to paint
the barn or you're trying to paint the mona Lisa.
It's a different brush, it's a different technique. It's all different.

(16:55):
And to the extent that you say, well, I got
a bucket of paint, I got paint, and I got
a brush, all right, what kind of paint? How many
different colors. If you're doing the Mona Lisa, you need
some different colors. If you're doing the barn, red will
probably take care take care of the job, right, and
the paint. Everything's different depending on what it is you

(17:16):
really want to do. So that's why we suggest coming
to the workshops. Oh there it is, pitch for the workshop. Yeah,
come to the workshop because that's a good place, very
safe place. You got a whole bunch of other folks there, right,
that's a very safe place to figure out, well, what
the heck is it I want to do? Anyone? So
many people, you know, it's like, oh, I got a will,

(17:39):
I gotta trust, I gotta this, I gotta that because
my financial advisor, my golfing buddy, my whoever said I
needed this and you got it. Okay, fine, you got it.
But does it do Do you even know what it
does for you? That's a question and you can get
your answer by see I'm getting back to it. You
get your answer by calling me at six months, say

(18:00):
seven seven for twenty four, twenty four. If you have
a will to trust, the power of attorney, whatever, why
don't we find out why? We will find out what
it is you expect to do with it. Just give
us a shout. You've been listening to the David Carriers Show.
I'm David Carrier, your family's personal attorney. Well, come back
to the David Carrier Show. I'm David Carrier, your family's

(18:22):
personal attorney. So you know what is the what is
the most important part of your life? Well, I would
say right now, right because now's when you're living. That's
important part kill it. We have to argue about that.
I think that's that's probably the most important part, is
what you're doing right now, because right now is the

(18:43):
time when you get to decide how's the rest of
it going to how's the rest of it going to
play out? You have the most control over what you're
doing right now. Does that mean we can ignore and
forget about what happens next? I don't think so. I
think it's in I think it's import to uh to
do that right. I think it's important to focus on

(19:05):
the future right figure out what's uh, what's coming next,
even though we don't know what's coming next, isn't it's
I think it's kind of important to to understand, really
to understand that we don't know what's coming next. And
because we don't know what's coming next, right, you gotta

(19:26):
anticipate many things, some that will happen, some that won't happen,
some that are never going to happen, some that happen
to some people. See, when you're thinking about the future,
it's like Yo, Gibert said, the trouble with predictions is
that they're all about the future, and we don't know
what the future holds. And so that's why it's difficult
to make predictions, and it's difficult to plan because you

(19:49):
don't know. You don't know what the future holds. You know,
if back in April when everyone was, you know, their
hair was on fire about tariffs and whatnot, the stock
market drop like unbelievable, right, if you knew that in
a couple of months it'll all be back where it was,
you'd have bought at the bottom, right and you'd have

(20:10):
cashed in twenty thirty forty percent right now, That's that's unbelievable.
That's a that's an amazing, amazing kind of thing. But
nobody knows that. You don't know that. You think, oh no,
everybody's telling you the sky is falling, The sky is falling.
Think well, maybe this guy's falling. You don't know, so,
but what do you what do you do about right
I mean, what's the we we live right now. We're

(20:32):
doing things right now that do good things right now. Okay,
but you also have to have that eye to the
I would suggest you have that eye to the future
as well. And there are some things that have a
low probability. Here's let me just suggest a way of
thinking about it. There are some things with high probability,
high probability of happening, and with things that have a

(20:57):
high probability of happening, like coming up tomorrow morning, like
the sun going down this evening, like the chicken dinner
at the at the Saint Patrick Festival in Parnell being
unbelievably wonderful. Okay, I'm working that dinner incidentally in the
early afternoon, So if you come over for the chicken
love to see you there at the parish Festival. There's

(21:20):
there's another unashamed plug anyway. You know where it is
out in Parnell, all right, Parnell, Michigan, Saint Patrick's chicken dinner. Yes,
we're doing that again. No, it's only been like, I
don't know one hundred years or whatever. So come to
come anyway. So I'll be serving chicken today. I'll be
that'll be a lot of fun anyway. You know that

(21:44):
if you if you make the drive, you gotta drive
out there. I'm not going to walk, okay, but you
know that the payoff is a fabulous chicken dinner. Okay, great,
So see what I'm saying. Action consequence, I drive out,
I pay my whatever it is, and I get a
fabulous chicken dinner. Okay, that's a good thing. Now on

(22:05):
the way out, how are you gonna get out there? Oh?
I got an automobile. Well, you know, sometimes automobiles crash
into each other. Oh, I don't want a chicken dinner
if I'm going to get crashed into. Yeah, that's a
good point. Right. On the other hand, the probability of
you getting crashed into on your way to the chicken dinner, right,
which has a See the chicken dinner has a high

(22:27):
probability of being a very fun thing, very good thing
for you. Okay, So he said, I want that chicken dinner,
got it. I better put some pants on, the shirt
on and go get my chicken dinner. But I have
to get in the car. Oh, cars move fast, right,
Sometimes they hit trees, sometimes they hit each other, sometimes

(22:48):
tires blow out. Oh, all those bad things. But you
know what, you know what, there's a high probability that
the chicken dinner will be fabulous, and there's a low
probability that someone's going to drive into you on the
way out there. Are you with me on this so far? Okay?
High probability, low probability, high probability of good things, low

(23:09):
probability of bad things. Well, when you're balancing those things out,
you say, stop worrying, stop worrying getting the car, let's
go get our chicken dinner. Got it understood? Positive? Negative,
and we don't let the negatives keep us from doing
the positives, especially when the negatives the probability is low. Okay,

(23:31):
But what's the consequence? You know, you know, sometimes people
on their way to chicken dinner get smashed into. That
would be bad. Can we agree on that, Yes, that
would be bad. So does that mean we never go
for chicken dinner? No, it means that in our vehicle
we have a seatbelt, and nowadays we have air bags

(23:53):
and crumple zones and collision avoiding systems and all kinds
of stuff to avoid the bad thing happening. To avoid
that bad thing. Now, what are you supposed to What
do you suppose when we're evaluating our risks, that's what
we're doing. Whenever you're evaluating risks, you say, Okay, if

(24:13):
it's low probability but high bad consequence, low probability, high,
you know, profound put it that way, profound consequence, then
it makes sense to do things to ameliorate, to lessen

(24:35):
the even low probability. Right, if that low probability thing happens,
I better be ready for it. Now. Some people treat
death as a low probability event. Okay, it's like, well,
if I die, but it's a low probability thing, It's like,
that's it. I know that we don't know, this says

(24:55):
in the Bible too, right, you don't know the time
of the day, right, we don't know the place whatever. Okay,
but it's a high probability event. It's it's one of
the highest death and taxes, right, I mean both of
them are like one hundred percent probability events. So maybe
planning for it wouldn't be such a bad idea, even
though you don't know exactly when it's coming right, chicken dinner, Yes,

(25:16):
want that good thing, But got a plan for the
low probability get into a car accident. Now, I as
you know, I'm always harping on the because this is
what I think. I think that needing long term care, right,
is one of those disastrous things. Okay, it's also a

(25:39):
high probability event, like getting into a car accident, except
seventy percent of people. If seventy percent of folks, according
to the government anyway, got into a car accident, right,
that would be that would affect the rest of the
rest of their lives. Catastrophic sort of thing that events
the rest of your life. Okay, then then you would

(26:03):
be justified in taking some action, right like buckling a seatbelt,
putt installing airbags, stuff like that. You'd be you know,
it would make sense to plan for that. Okay. That's
the thing with It's this thing that drives me now
with the long term care. It's like, yeah, get into
a car accident, it's a very low probability event. You
have a one in eight thousand chants something like that,

(26:26):
depending on how they measure it. Sometimes it's more, you know,
depending on how they measure it one in ten thousand
chants of dying in a car accident. It doesn't happen
that often. But you you've got thousands of dollars of
collision avoidance equipment on your vehicle. You buckle up your
seat belt, you know, you drive defensively, you do all

(26:46):
those all those things. Right now, we've got robo cars
that don't apparently don't hit each other, which would be nice.
But we're doing all this stuff to avoid that low
probability event. But what do you do? What are you
doing to address a high probability event? And according to government,
seventy percent of folks wind up in three years on

(27:07):
average of long term care about let's not plan for that. Now,
death is another thing. Yeah, people don't plan for. And
that's one hundred percent. That's one hundred percent probability, okay,
And if you screw that one up again, a very
high probability that you're you're that your legacy the way

(27:28):
people and I don't mean money legacy, I mean just
the way people think about you isn't going to be positive. Right.
It's the it's the last act of the play that
brings everything to a conclusion, that makes everything work right,
And so that's why we perhaps uncustomarily or unconventionally or whatever,

(27:50):
are focused first and foremost on your final act. It's like,
what are we going to do? That's a high probability event,
And not only is it high probability, it's also high
consequence event. Right. So if it's a high probability and
low consequence, Right, if I don't wash my hands, I'm

(28:11):
gonna get set before I eat my chicken dinner, I
might get sick. Okay, So I'm going to wash my
hands before I eat. Yeah, all right, low probability, low consequence,
a high probability, low consequence. I'm going to wash my hands,
basic stuff like that. But what if we had a
high probability, Oh yeah, it's likely to happen and it's
a high consequence. Why aren't we taking care of business

(28:33):
that way? Why aren't we even thinking about it? That's
a question that that we aim to answer if you
give us a call at six one six, seven seven
four twenty four, twenty four. So as we go through life,
look at high probability, low probability, high consequence, low consequence.
Just think about that in terms of the various things
that you do and see how often what you're doing.

(28:54):
The way you live your life is a matter of
judging what do I need to do? Take care of
the things that are likely to happen, are likely to have,
you know, great consequence, great impact on my life versus
things that are unlikely to happen and low consequences, unlikely

(29:15):
in low consequence, and don't worry about it. Low probability,
big consequence. Yeah, you better look at that. High probability,
high consequence. Why the heck aren't you doing it? Why
an't you addressing that one? There? You go see what
the chicken dinner. It's out in Parnell. It's easy to
get to a just a very pleasant drive. And like

(29:35):
I said, we've been doing it for decades, as long
as I've been here anyway, which is which is closing
in forty years. But good chicken dinner, and I will
be serving it. Our son and I were runners. I
don't don't know if we'll be serving actual, but anyway,
we'll see you there. You've been listening to the David
Carrier Show. I'm David Carrier, your family's personal attorney, pitching

(29:58):
the chicken dinner at Saint Patrick in Parnell. Today. Welcome
back to the David Carrier Sell. I'm David Carrier, your
family's personal attorney. Let's get to one of our emails here, however,
Attorney for health care power, attorney for will and trust. Hello,
I've been living with an elderly lady for five years.
She took me in and welcomed me to her house,

(30:20):
and from there I've been her friend and helping her
do caregiver stuff like drive to aportman's, cleanhouse, help with finances,
exchange for room and board. Last year, she hired an
attorney to do her state planning in February and did
the will trust Healthcare left everything to me. Woo. Okay,

(30:41):
I didn't tell her to do this. She did her
own free will and was in her right mind on December.
In December last year, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's by
health professional. Need to know my rights in this matter?
Can someone help me on my rights? I can discuss more.
There's more to this story. Really need to help, never
done this before, Need to know rights sorts, they're trying
to get involved, et cetera. Okay, so here's the you

(31:04):
know this this is a more and more a common situation.
Right where somebody, not a family member, gets involved in
someone else's life and these things happen. So it's like
the kids aren't available, kids can't do it, what have you.

(31:25):
But somebody shows up and obviously this is one of
those bare bones things where you like, if we if
you call, I'll tell you more, Okay, like to know
more about how did you get over there? How did
this happen? And sometimes these things are just happenstance. You know,
you meet someone at church, you meet someone staying inland,
at the grocery store, what have you. I mean, there's

(31:46):
all kinds of ways that these happen. And if the
kids aren't around and they're not helping out, it's real.
It's really an issue. I mean, is this person being exploited? Right? Well,
they needed a place to live, okay, And now now
mom has given everything to this person she met a
couple of years ago at the grocery store. I mean,

(32:07):
how do the kids feel about that? Is that? Right?
Is that? And remember, of course it's mom's stuff. Mom
gets to decide whatever the heck she wants to do
with her stuff, provided that there was no undue influence.
Undue influence, so the question with these is always did
the person who came into mom's life later on whatever,

(32:29):
not a relative, but it's been helping out, right, are
they exercising undue influence? Well, here's the thing. When it's
hard to prove undue influence. It's difficult. Now if somebody's
got to mention if they're not competent, right, and somebody
slides in, Well, yeah, I mean, then you can prove that, right,

(32:52):
lack of mental capacity and a susceptibility to being imposed upon.
But what if that's not what's going on? What if
it's sort of like they said, here, you know, she
needed somebody to help out. I was there to help out,
and then she went of her own will and free
will and volition and everything else and said, hey, I
want to make sure that the person who's been helping

(33:13):
me out is taken care of. Right, Well, why can't
mom do that? Mom can absolutely do that, of course
she can. It's her stuff, right. What if she left
it all to you know, Saint Jude's Children's Hospital. You
couldn't fight that one, right because it's her stuff. You
didn't earn it, right, That's what you say to the kids.

(33:34):
The beneficiars on the other hand, on the other hand,
what if we got somebody who you know, you know,
worms their way into the confidence of older people and
takes advantage of them. That's a bad thing also, And
as I say, very difficult to show this, very difficult
when someone's gone to prove any of this. So if

(33:57):
the person is still alive, right, what you want to
do is go back to the attorney who drew up
the documents and find out and and here's here's another thing.
Says he's got a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. Well, okay, a
lot of people have Alzheimer's diagnosis. In fact, for a
lot of people, that's what is the incentive to get

(34:20):
a plan done in the first place. You know, there's
a there's a diagnosis, dimentia, diagnosis, and it's like, oh,
you know, mom or Dad wasn't putting the milk in
the clothes closet and the shoes and the refrigerator just
as a joke. I mean, there was something else going
on there. Okay, And now we've got a diagnosis. Well,

(34:41):
that doesn't mean that they lack mental capacity. It might,
it might very well and eventually lead to that, but
it doesn't mean just because you got the diagnosis doesn't
mean you lack capacity. Okay. So that's one of the
things you'd want to document, figure out all the rest
of it so that if there does come a challenge

(35:02):
later on, you've got all your ducks in a row.
Now here's how the ducks line up. If you are
making an allegation of undue influence, right that somebody wheedled
the mom into doing it. And understand, for family members,
you can cry, you can you know, call them all

(35:24):
bad names, you can whatever, and that's okay. You know,
I'll never talk to you again, I'll never send you know,
the Christmas card, blah blah blah unless you do whatever.
That's not that's not undue influence. Okay. So, like I say,
it's difficult, we don't because we don't want the courts
clogged with cases where you're saying, well, well, my uh

(35:48):
my sister said that you wouldn't ever bake her another
cake if she didn't give her the house, and then
she gave her the house, and then you get into
baking cakes and houses and stuff, and it's like, how
do you ever sort that out out? It's impossible, very difficult. Okay.
So the burden of proof, and it's a high burden
is on the person who's saying who's saying you unduly

(36:12):
influenced mom, right, very high burden of proof, and it's
on you to prove that there was undue influence. Very
difficult to do. But but if you're in a fiduciary
relationship to mom, if you're the one who is do
caregiver stuff, driving to appointments, cleaning house, helping with financing,

(36:33):
all the rest of this stuff, right, if you're in
that close relationship where they're very dependent on you, now
it's your job to prove that there was no undue influence.
Do you say, if you just go into a situation
you're the kid who got disinherited because somebody showed up
and was taking care of mom, and the mom gave
them all the stuff, right, and you're just first going

(36:56):
in there and you're saying, oh, you're a bad person.
It's very difficult prove that they're a bad person and
they unduly influence mom. On the other hand, if that
person who's been helping out mom and now is getting
all the benefits right after death benefits, right, is in
that kind of all consuming relationship, and it doesn't have

(37:19):
to be strictly a legal relationship. It can be arise
from behavior. Now it's up to them to prove that
there was no undue influence. Do you see the burden
of proof shifts and generally speaking, with these under influenced cases,
whoever has the burden of proof loses. That's why if
you're the one who's been caring for somebody for a

(37:41):
couple of years and just being nice and all the
rest of it, and they decide they want you to
have their stuff, which is not an irrational decision, right,
you have to be able to prove that there was
no under influence. So that's why you have to go
back to the lawyer and say, hey, you know you
need to document the heck out of this thing. You
need six with this is instead of two. Right, So

(38:02):
then everybody agrees that this was fully volitional, fully the
intention of the person. Are you with me on that?
So if you want to challenge that moms living caretaker
shouldn't get everything all right, well you can do it,
but it's going to be a hard road to ho
unless you've got evidence upfront. And if you're the caregiver, right,

(38:25):
who is now going to enjoy the generosity of the
person that you've been helping out. You need to document
the heck out of that as well. Again, high consequence,
low probability, all that got to be. You know, let's
be aware of that and let's get that taken care of.
You've been listening to the David Carriers Show. I'm David Carrier,
your family's personal attorney.