Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Dear America, where your voice matters and every
vote counts. Join us as we explore the power of
black and brown communities in shaping our future. It's time
to make your mark and be heard.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hello America. This is Dear America with Chanelle Barnes. And
I am thrilled to be sitting here with someone who
flew in from La in order to be with us
and flies out later. And that is Cheyenne Chai Ron Santini.
Thank you so much for being here. So do I
call you Cheyenne or Shai? Just sick with Chai? You
(00:39):
can call me Shay.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Let's do Shay, Let's do Shai.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
So Shai is a former foster youth turned fashion model
and activist. Since starting her modeling career in twenty eighteen,
she worked with brands like Apple, Audi, and H and M.
Featured on Fox eleven News for her inspiring journey. Cheyenne
now advocates for foster youth and is writing a book
about her experiences. Thank you so much for being.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Here, Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Of course, of course, so sh I, thank you for
sharing your story with us. Can you take us back
to when you and your sister were first taken into
foster care. What are some of the earliest memories from
that time if you don't mind.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Of course, while you can imagine, it was pretty traumatic
being taken so young for my mom, but it was
definitely I feel like everything happens for a reason. I
was able to stay on the right path. I had
a good foster parent, so that definitely like influenced me
to be on the right path. Sure, And unfortunately my
sister she went through struggles and she didn't end up
staying in the same home as me, but she she
(01:44):
got into like group homes and stuff. But like I said,
I had a really good foster parent that kept me
on the right track.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
She didn't play, so that kept When.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Your sister went to a different home where you all
were in the same home, it just didn't work out.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Yeah, we were in the same home for a couple
of weeks and then she just had a lot of
issues that she was going through with her behavior, understandably
because it was such a traumatic thing for us. So yeah,
so she ended up getting switched to a different home.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You've mentioned in some of the things that I've read
about you being raised by a village of people. Can
you describe what that was like and how did you
navigate different living situations where you were.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
You know what, I think it was tough moving so much,
but I think because I had my foster parent, I
had a turn on my aunt, my mom's sister there,
it really helped to keep me kind of grounded. And
even though it was a tough time moving so much,
I did have I was lucky to have a good
support system in them, so that really kept me on
(02:45):
the right track.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Absolutely. You've spoken a bit about the trauma and pain
of being separated from your mom and your sister. How
did you cope with those feelings as a child, and
then fast forward, how are you still cope with some
of those feelings because I can imagine, well, I've never
been in a situation, but I'm wondering if it doesn't
(03:07):
go away, Oh.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
For sure, it's I think it's an ongoing trauma because
like that in her child, it kind of lives within me,
like it kind of stays at that time that I
was taken from my mom. But I think therapy is
a big tool that I've utilized in my life, and
like my foster mom instilled that in me. When I
got into her home, she was encouraging me, like, you know,
use therapy as a tool to cope with what you're
(03:30):
going through. She was always very open if I needed
to talk about anything, So that was definitely helpful. And
I still utilize therapy as an adult now, so it's
it's very helpful for me.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I think oftentimes in our black and brown cultures, people
shy away from therapy. Did you have any initial resistance
to therapy or were you just all in from the start?
Speaker 3 (03:54):
You know what?
Speaker 4 (03:54):
I remember the first time she talked about therapy and
she she said the word coping, and I didn't understand
what that meant. But I had a good therapist, and
I liked the approach that they took because they did
art therapy, so that kind of like as a child,
that made it more interesting for me to be open
to the idea of like, oh, if I'm feeling sad,
I can draw about it, and like I can do
(04:16):
these art projects. So it made it more it made
it less intense for me as a kid.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Absolutely, we love art so much. Yeah, I've had a
few guests that have shared that art or and or writing.
It really has helped to get them closer to healing, yes,
or taking them on the healing journey.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Definitely.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
I had a whole like therapy binder that it was
at my foster mom's house. So she moved like out
of state and she's up in age now. But I've
been looking for it forever because it has all of
my drawings from that time, like all of my I
remember I wrote a letter like to my mom that
my therapist was like, you don't ever have to give
it to her, but as long as you write it
and get those feelings out, like you put it in
(04:54):
an envelope and read it later. So I hope I
find it one day. But she's a little older and
I was like, Grandma, can you help me find the
my therapy binders. You're like, girl, like, that's a good
storage somewhere. I have to look at different but yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
So hopefully, well when you find it, I want you
to come back on the show if you're interested. I
love to hear more.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I love, yeah, love to go through it and show you.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Absolutely, that'd be amazing. So you mentioned in your foster
care system or you found a really great foster care mom.
Your sister went on a different experience. I imagine you
have other friends that probably went through a similar experience.
How have those collective experience experiences shaped how you think
(05:37):
about advocacy.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
They definitely had a big impact on my view of that.
I think like as a foster child too, Like my
foster parents kept me involved and a lot of she
kept me in church, Like I was always involved in
the choir and like different activities at school, and like
I used to go to foster youth camps and I
would meet other foster youth that I could connect with,
(06:00):
and it was very helpful because I don't know a
lot of times you feel different being a foster kid,
like you don't have Like you go to school and
like everybody's like where's your mom, Like they're not picking
you up, so you feel really different. But I think
having those experiences like at camp, it really impacted me
because it made me want to help foster youth later
in life. So that's kind of what I do now.
(06:23):
Like I like to mentor other youth, and I'm a
camp counselor also for foster youth.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
I was just gonna get yeah, they'll tell us a
little bit about that.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
So I in the summer months. In winter, I work
for a camp called Happy Trails for Kids, and it's
it ranges I think from seven to seventeen or the ages,
so I get to have, like, I think, a group
of maybe six kids that I'm paired with. The ages
kind of vary too, so I get different ages every time.
(06:52):
But yeah, they have different activities for the kids like
kayaking and horseback riding and kind of similar to like
the camp experience I have. So yeah, it's really really
rewarding to be able to like reconnect with the kids
there and like it kind of feels like I'm connecting
with myself again, right, So it's emotional. But it's so
cool to see them grow up too, because a lot
(07:13):
of them stay at that camp.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yes, we talk a lot on the show about civic engagement,
and volunteering is such a critical component of civic engagement.
What do you say to people out there who are
thinking about volunteering but just not sure if they should
take the step.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Oh my gosh, volunteering has impacted me so much. I
was telling Brittany that I had my home created by
a Sense of Home in twenty eighteen, and they're an
organization that provides furniture for former foster youth. And ever
since I had that experience of like all the volunteers
coming into my house and like just doing this grand
(07:52):
act of kindness for me, it really inspired me to
like get into my advocacy and just carry that on.
So that's become a big part of my mission, not
only because but because of that experience. So I think
it's really important, and it's like community is so important
to have, especially for people like me that were in
the system.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
So yeah, yes, the organization you mentioned, a Sense of Home. Yes,
can you tell us a little bit about this gala
and about your role and what people can look forward to.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Yes, So the gala is going to be honoring Serena
Levy and her husband who are on the board at
a Sense of Home, and there will be other honorees there.
My role at the gala, I'll be speaking briefly for
the honorees and so that's kind of my role. It's
(08:39):
going to be a really exciting time. We're going to
be raising money for a Sense of Home. So yeah,
it's going to be amazing and Georgie and Melissa, the founders,
will be there.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
And remind us again of the mission of a Sense
of Home.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
The mission of a Sense of Home is mostly to
prevent homelessness with foster youth that are aging out, because
that's a big statistic when youth age out of the system.
I think they say forty percent end up homeless or incarcerated.
So that's a big mission that they're trying to prevent
that through their work.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Amazing. Yeah, and America for those who are just tuning in,
want to we emphasize it. Today we are sitting with Chyenne,
who also goes by SHI, and we're so excited to
be here with her. You've spoken about wanting to help
those who are experiencing homelessness, homelessness and former foster youth
(09:33):
who are aging out of the system. Can you talk
about some specific ways you're working to address those issues.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
So I volunteer with an organization called Bright Pass Center,
And basically I started in COVID because I was like,
how can I help, Like we're all stuck at home
and I know that there's people that need help, Like
in A big inspiration that I drew from for that
is that my mom she goes through she's been chronically homeless,
Like since I was a child and she deals with
(10:01):
mental illness. So that was a big thing that made
me think, like, you know, my mom's going through that now,
so how can I help? So that's kind of what
influenced me to look and see what organization I can
do outreach with, right, And so that's what I've been
doing since twenty twenty is helping them. We go out
and we provide hygiene kits, clothing and food so so good. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, and this is in the LA area, LA.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
Right.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
So if people want to get involved, how do they
get involved?
Speaker 4 (10:29):
They can go to Bright Path Center or I think
that's their Instagram and then same for the website.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Okay, I agree if they.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Want to donate or volunteer.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
You mentioned your mom and the experiences of your mom.
At what point did you reconnect with your mom or
were you always connected?
Speaker 4 (10:45):
I was always connected to her, Like, no matter what
she went through, she always like made sure to call
me and like visit me. We would have visits when
I was still in foster care. And I liked that
my foster mom she made an effort to keep my
mom involved.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
She did it.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
It's amazing.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Yeah, she didn't try to keep us apart or anything.
So we always stay connected. And unfortunately, my mom still
goes through a lot of what she's been going through
because of her mental illness, so she's in a facility
for mental health right now. So it's difficult, but that's
why I do what I do, because like, she's the
I don't want.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
To cry, no, no, please, but she's the driving force
and what I do absolutely and again we just appreciate
your vulnerability. On that note, I wanted to go a
bit into we've talked about mom reconnecting with your father.
Can you take us back to when you first reconnected
(11:43):
with your father in your twenties.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Yeah, so me and my sister we had lost contact
with him for a very long time, Like, so you were.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
In contact with him at what point?
Speaker 4 (11:56):
So the last time before I reconnected with him was
when I was him at court because my aunt ended
up getting legal guardianship of me, so he was there
for court. But after that we lost contact with him,
and I later found out it was because he was
going through a lot of like struggles and a lot
of things that he was going through at the time.
(12:18):
So me and my sister were looking for the longest
time for him and we ended up searching on Facebook
and came across his page.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
We were like little.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Fine.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Yeah, so we were like, let's look in here and see,
but we weren't sure it looked like him, like we
know what our dad looks like, but it had been
a long time.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
She were like, let's make sure.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
So we went on his page and then we found
like baby pictures of us and was like, oh, this
is him. So we ended up reaching out to like
people on his friend list, and one of them ended
up being his sister. So yeah, yeah, yeah, So we
messaged her like, you know, we've been looking for our
dad for a long time, and.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
She was so happy. It's like, oh wow, we've been
looking for you for a while.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
And so because I was scared to reach out to
him first, I was like what if he I don't
know what to expect.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Sure.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Yeah, so we reached out to her and then she
let him know and then he called me and know
this is crazy.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Well let me wait before we go, let me just
take a step back. You mentioned you were afraid to
reach out. Yeah, I can't imagine the countless amount of
people who are experiencing what you are experiencing, and they're
so afraid that they don't take that step. Yeah, what
do you say to people about how you were able
to get over that fear?
Speaker 4 (13:32):
I would say, you have to just take the leap
if you're if you're ready, like cause you don't know
what to expect. But if the positive outcome happens, then
you know, look, look what can happen, you know, like
you just have to take the leap if you're ready.
But if you're not ready and you're afraid of the result,
I would say, just when you're ready, you know, absolutely
no russ shit.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Okay, Yeah, how did the I'm assuming this is the
first meeting or is it? How did the first meeting go?
Speaker 3 (13:58):
The first meeting? It was interesting?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
And where were you at the time. Were you in
Puerto Rico?
Speaker 4 (14:04):
Oh? No, I was in La So I've always been
in La. But my dad's from Puerto Rico, right, Yeah,
but he to move to La in the eighties. He's
been there for a while. I was in transitional housing
because I had moved out of my aunt's house. I
was twenty when I found my dad, so.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
I was living in transitional housing.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Through Foster Care Resources. So that's when I met him.
And then he came there. It was an interesting meeting.
It wasn't what I expected because my dad, like I said,
he has certain struggles, so he wasn't sober, but it
was okay. It was like, you know, like I'm just
happy to see you, so sure.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah. So I just took what I what I could
get from that.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And it was you and your sister that went to
go and meet with them.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
It was only me. I just tried.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
My sister was living far. She was living like in
Lancaster and I'm in La.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
So okay, yeah, did you get have the opportunity to
get to know your father's side of the family.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
I did, Yeah, So maybe like a year or two
after we reconnected, my dad took me to Florida and
we were able to meet like his cause that's where
most of his family is, besides the ones that are
in Puerto Rico, so we were able to meet more
of them. And it was such a crazy experience to see, like,
whow I have all of this extended family like that
I never really got to meet, So I love that.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I loved that so much. Were there any challenges that
you've experienced as an adult continuing to sustain or build
the relationships with Europe, let.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Me tell you.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
And you're like, Okay, wait a minute, where we going
with these guys?
Speaker 4 (15:40):
No, but your questions are flowing because it's like it
really it applies to me, and it's important to talk
about that element because like when you reconnect with the relative,
it's not gonna look it's not gonna always look how
you want it to look.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Sure, but I'm grateful for like the good.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
What do you foresee for what's your biggest hope for
the relationships as you progress?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
I just hope that I make my parents proud no
matter what, like, even if I'm distant with either one
of them or it doesn't look how I wanted to look.
I just want to like have the best life I
can have for myself and build a legacy for my
family because it's been so much struggle and so much
so much pain, you know, So I just want to
be like the one that carries the Torch family.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Amazing. You traveled to Puerto Rico, where your father grew up.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
What inspired you to make that trip and what were
you hoping to learn or experience while in Puerto Rico?
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Well, I have been wanting to go for a while.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
I was actually hoping to go with my dad, but
you know, you travel with people, they like you can't
wait on them all the time. Like I wanted to
go for my birthday a couple of years ago with
my dad. He was like, you know, like I gotta
get right with that before I travel, like you know,
which is understandable.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
But I just was like, I'm not waiting on nobody
no more.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I'm going to go, and like I really want to
experience it and just see that part of my heritage.
So that that was a big reason why I wanted
to go.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Okay, yeah, and what was it?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Like, it was amazing.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
It was like it was probably the best trip I've
been on, and that was like a solo trip and
it was just like.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
We love aye, Like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
You could just do what ever you want and I
have to wait on everybody. So it was really cool
to be able to like learn more about my dad's
culture and everything. It just it was like mind blowing
to see that that was that's part of me.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
So absolutely, yeah, just shifting gears a little bit and
thinking about you know, civic engagement, all the advocacy work
that you do Your work is so closely tied to
social justice and civic engagement. How do you hope to
inspire others to get involved in their communities and create change.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
I hope that people see that based on the things
that we're talking about, the community is so important. Number one,
we can't we can't act our community if we're not
doing it as a collective. So if if everybody's kind
of just sitting around and not trying to make a change,
it's not gonna affect anything. So we all have to
(18:11):
have a purpose in what we're doing, and like live
with purpose. So that's a big, a big thing I
want to emphasize. And I think that volunteering, like I said,
is very important. If you don't do anything else, like
volunteer help help the community. It's important for like youth
like me to have mentors and to have support.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
It's just I can't really stress it enough.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
So absolutely. Yeah, you mentioned earlier one of years story
you know about your mom, just mental health and wellness
being something that's coming up consistently. What is your hope
for America in how America plays a role in supporting
the mental health and wellness of Americans, of people like
(18:54):
your mom.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
I hope that we I hope that we find more
resources for people that need it, for marginalized communities like
people like my mom who they don't have the they
haven't had the tools that they need to get the
right help that they could get. I really feel like
that it needs to be more emphasis on mental health
(19:16):
and like how people can get the help that they need.
So I just hope that that expands. So that's a
big reason why I'm trying to be in the community
and find the answers, you know, because I don't have
the answer. But my solution was like, you know, if
I get out and help, I can learn.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
So and what about your thoughts on just the foster
care system. What are some ways that that system can
be better in order to support youth like you who
have experience or are experiencing the foster care system.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
I think that there should be a big platform for
foster youth to express what's needed, like to have feedback
directly from the youth. And I think that's why it's
good that, like I'm in an advocacy group and you
can hear directly from us that have had lived experience.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
So I think it's I love that by the way, Yeah,
because so.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Many people are like, well, you know, what do you need?
What do you need? But they don't ever ask the
people who are experiencing it.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Yeah, exactly, So there needs to be that like you're
not going to find out unless you go directly to
the people that are experiencing it. So I think that's
it really needs to be a platform for you to
be able to speak.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, we have a rather big election coming in you know,
the next few days or so. What's your advice? Well,
let me take a step back. How are you thinking
about voting? Are you excited to vote? Are you not
excited to vote? What's your processing getting there toward voting?
Speaker 4 (20:50):
I think I'm excited to vote because this would be
my first time voting, and I had a different I
was telling them that I had a different perspective on voting. Yeah,
first time vote. So yeah, and I think being an advocacy,
it shows me that we have to get out and
do that in order to see change in our communities.
Because of course, like we have this election going on
(21:11):
and stuff, and that's on a bigger spectrum, but like, yeah,
we need to get out and make change as a
community too. So I'm excited to kind of like exercise
my power to do that.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
And you're working on a book right now. Yeah, he
tell us a little bit about the book. And by
the way, when the book launches, I want you to
come back on the show.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Sure, for sure, I'm gonna do my buttlt about the book. Yeah,
So it's.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Actually been in the works for years now. Like I
had a goal to finish it during COVID, but I
didn't reach that goal because I was doing a lot
of other stuff. But it's okay, that's how it goes
writing stuff sometimes. But I started writing it, yeah, during COVID,
and I was just really inspired to like tell more
of my story. And as I got more into advocacy,
I really wanted to, I don't know, just show people
(21:56):
that it's okay to share your story, like it will
have afect other people or impact them rather. And so
it's gonna be kind of detailing like the things that
I go through having a parent that has mental illness
and like how I navigate that. And my mom used
to write me letters in foster care, so like I
kept all of them and I eliminated all of them.
So a big idea that I have is to like
(22:18):
include those somehow in the book Amazing Love, so that
the reader can kind of like see in touch, you know,
like I don't know just my mom and like how
we kept that contact when I was in foster care.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
So what are just you know, wrapping up our conversation here.
But again I want another for those listeners who are
in a relationship, any kind of relationship, a parent relationship,
another relationship with someone who was experiencing mental health or
who needs mental health support, what are the top three
(22:50):
things you would say to them on how they can
navigate that relationship.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
That's one, Yeah, I would say the first. The first
one is definitely self care, like taking care of you,
because it can be so draining to like to worry
all the time about your relatives, and you're gonna worry
because you love them. But I think self care is
the most important thing. I would say, Yeah, checking in
(23:17):
I'm still in the first one. Checking in self care
and doing things that make you happy and like trying
to be the best you can be. Number two, I
would say having boundaries because you can only help people
so much. But of course you want to help, but
you don't want to drain yourself and you don't want
to do too much to where it's gonna drag you down.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
So yeah, having boundaries and self care boundaries.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Yeah, and then having acceptance for what is and not
like taking responsibility and like ownership of everything that you
can control. You know, that's been a big thing for me.
Like I felt a lot of guilt for a while
with my mom and like what she has to go through.
But you have to realize you have your life and
like you're blessed with that for a reason, so you
have to make it the best.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Thank you so much for being on the show. Once again.
This is Dear America with Chanell Barnes. Excited to have
had Cheyenne shy Roon Santini on our show. She's flying
out tonight, but I hope she'll be flying in soon
to visit us.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yes, all right, be back for sure.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yes, amazing. Talk to you soon, America. Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
This has been a Project Ready production. To learn more
and effect change, log onto Project Readyenjay dot org or
listen anytime on all major podcast carriers.
Welcome to Dear America, where your voice matters and every
vote counts. Join us as we explore the power of
black and brown communities in shaping our future. It's time
to make your mark and be heard.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hello America. This is Dear America with Chanelle Barnes. And
I am thrilled to be sitting here with someone who
flew in from La in order to be with us
and flies out later. And that is Cheyenne Chai Ron Santini.
Thank you so much for being here. So do I
call you Cheyenne or Shai? Just sick with Chai? You
(00:39):
can call me Shay.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Let's do Shay, Let's do Shai.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
So Shai is a former foster youth turned fashion model
and activist. Since starting her modeling career in twenty eighteen,
she worked with brands like Apple, Audi, and H and M.
Featured on Fox eleven News for her inspiring journey. Cheyenne
now advocates for foster youth and is writing a book
about her experiences. Thank you so much for being.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Here, Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Of course, of course, so sh I, thank you for
sharing your story with us. Can you take us back
to when you and your sister were first taken into
foster care. What are some of the earliest memories from
that time if you don't mind.
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Of course, while you can imagine, it was pretty traumatic
being taken so young for my mom, but it was
definitely I feel like everything happens for a reason. I
was able to stay on the right path. I had
a good foster parent, so that definitely like influenced me
to be on the right path. Sure, And unfortunately my
sister she went through struggles and she didn't end up
staying in the same home as me, but she she
(01:44):
got into like group homes and stuff. But like I said,
I had a really good foster parent that kept me
on the right track.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
She didn't play, so that kept When.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Your sister went to a different home where you all
were in the same home, it just didn't work out.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
Yeah, we were in the same home for a couple
of weeks and then she just had a lot of
issues that she was going through with her behavior, understandably
because it was such a traumatic thing for us. So yeah,
so she ended up getting switched to a different home.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
You've mentioned in some of the things that I've read
about you being raised by a village of people. Can
you describe what that was like and how did you
navigate different living situations where you were.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
You know what, I think it was tough moving so much,
but I think because I had my foster parent, I
had a turn on my aunt, my mom's sister there,
it really helped to keep me kind of grounded. And
even though it was a tough time moving so much,
I did have I was lucky to have a good
support system in them, so that really kept me on
(02:45):
the right track.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Absolutely. You've spoken a bit about the trauma and pain
of being separated from your mom and your sister. How
did you cope with those feelings as a child, and
then fast forward, how are you still cope with some
of those feelings because I can imagine, well, I've never
been in a situation, but I'm wondering if it doesn't
(03:07):
go away, Oh.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
For sure, it's I think it's an ongoing trauma because
like that in her child, it kind of lives within me,
like it kind of stays at that time that I
was taken from my mom. But I think therapy is
a big tool that I've utilized in my life, and
like my foster mom instilled that in me. When I
got into her home, she was encouraging me, like, you know,
use therapy as a tool to cope with what you're
(03:30):
going through. She was always very open if I needed
to talk about anything, So that was definitely helpful. And
I still utilize therapy as an adult now, so it's
it's very helpful for me.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I think oftentimes in our black and brown cultures, people
shy away from therapy. Did you have any initial resistance
to therapy or were you just all in from the start?
Speaker 3 (03:54):
You know what?
Speaker 4 (03:54):
I remember the first time she talked about therapy and
she she said the word coping, and I didn't understand
what that meant. But I had a good therapist, and
I liked the approach that they took because they did
art therapy, so that kind of like as a child,
that made it more interesting for me to be open
to the idea of like, oh, if I'm feeling sad,
I can draw about it, and like I can do
(04:16):
these art projects. So it made it more it made
it less intense for me as a kid.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Absolutely, we love art so much. Yeah, I've had a
few guests that have shared that art or and or writing.
It really has helped to get them closer to healing, yes,
or taking them on the healing journey.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Definitely.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
I had a whole like therapy binder that it was
at my foster mom's house. So she moved like out
of state and she's up in age now. But I've
been looking for it forever because it has all of
my drawings from that time, like all of my I
remember I wrote a letter like to my mom that
my therapist was like, you don't ever have to give
it to her, but as long as you write it
and get those feelings out, like you put it in
(04:54):
an envelope and read it later. So I hope I
find it one day. But she's a little older and
I was like, Grandma, can you help me find the
my therapy binders. You're like, girl, like, that's a good
storage somewhere. I have to look at different but yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
So hopefully, well when you find it, I want you
to come back on the show if you're interested. I
love to hear more.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I love, yeah, love to go through it and show you.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Absolutely, that'd be amazing. So you mentioned in your foster
care system or you found a really great foster care mom.
Your sister went on a different experience. I imagine you
have other friends that probably went through a similar experience.
How have those collective experience experiences shaped how you think
(05:37):
about advocacy.
Speaker 4 (05:40):
They definitely had a big impact on my view of that.
I think like as a foster child too, Like my
foster parents kept me involved and a lot of she
kept me in church, Like I was always involved in
the choir and like different activities at school, and like
I used to go to foster youth camps and I
would meet other foster youth that I could connect with,
(06:00):
and it was very helpful because I don't know a
lot of times you feel different being a foster kid,
like you don't have Like you go to school and
like everybody's like where's your mom, Like they're not picking
you up, so you feel really different. But I think
having those experiences like at camp, it really impacted me
because it made me want to help foster youth later
in life. So that's kind of what I do now.
(06:23):
Like I like to mentor other youth, and I'm a
camp counselor also for foster youth.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
I was just gonna get yeah, they'll tell us a
little bit about that.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
So I in the summer months. In winter, I work
for a camp called Happy Trails for Kids, and it's
it ranges I think from seven to seventeen or the ages,
so I get to have, like, I think, a group
of maybe six kids that I'm paired with. The ages
kind of vary too, so I get different ages every time.
(06:52):
But yeah, they have different activities for the kids like
kayaking and horseback riding and kind of similar to like
the camp experience I have. So yeah, it's really really
rewarding to be able to like reconnect with the kids
there and like it kind of feels like I'm connecting
with myself again, right, So it's emotional. But it's so
cool to see them grow up too, because a lot
(07:13):
of them stay at that camp.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yes, we talk a lot on the show about civic engagement,
and volunteering is such a critical component of civic engagement.
What do you say to people out there who are
thinking about volunteering but just not sure if they should
take the step.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Oh my gosh, volunteering has impacted me so much. I
was telling Brittany that I had my home created by
a Sense of Home in twenty eighteen, and they're an
organization that provides furniture for former foster youth. And ever
since I had that experience of like all the volunteers
coming into my house and like just doing this grand
(07:52):
act of kindness for me, it really inspired me to
like get into my advocacy and just carry that on.
So that's become a big part of my mission, not
only because but because of that experience. So I think
it's really important, and it's like community is so important
to have, especially for people like me that were in
the system.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
So yeah, yes, the organization you mentioned, a Sense of Home. Yes,
can you tell us a little bit about this gala
and about your role and what people can look forward to.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Yes, So the gala is going to be honoring Serena
Levy and her husband who are on the board at
a Sense of Home, and there will be other honorees there.
My role at the gala, I'll be speaking briefly for
the honorees and so that's kind of my role. It's
(08:39):
going to be a really exciting time. We're going to
be raising money for a Sense of Home. So yeah,
it's going to be amazing and Georgie and Melissa, the founders,
will be there.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
And remind us again of the mission of a Sense
of Home.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
The mission of a Sense of Home is mostly to
prevent homelessness with foster youth that are aging out, because
that's a big statistic when youth age out of the system.
I think they say forty percent end up homeless or incarcerated.
So that's a big mission that they're trying to prevent
that through their work.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Amazing. Yeah, and America for those who are just tuning in,
want to we emphasize it. Today we are sitting with Chyenne,
who also goes by SHI, and we're so excited to
be here with her. You've spoken about wanting to help
those who are experiencing homelessness, homelessness and former foster youth
(09:33):
who are aging out of the system. Can you talk
about some specific ways you're working to address those issues.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
So I volunteer with an organization called Bright Pass Center,
And basically I started in COVID because I was like,
how can I help, Like we're all stuck at home
and I know that there's people that need help, Like
in A big inspiration that I drew from for that
is that my mom she goes through she's been chronically homeless,
Like since I was a child and she deals with
(10:01):
mental illness. So that was a big thing that made
me think, like, you know, my mom's going through that now,
so how can I help? So that's kind of what
influenced me to look and see what organization I can
do outreach with, right, And so that's what I've been
doing since twenty twenty is helping them. We go out
and we provide hygiene kits, clothing and food so so good. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, and this is in the LA area, LA.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
Right.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
So if people want to get involved, how do they
get involved?
Speaker 4 (10:29):
They can go to Bright Path Center or I think
that's their Instagram and then same for the website.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Okay, I agree if they.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Want to donate or volunteer.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
You mentioned your mom and the experiences of your mom.
At what point did you reconnect with your mom or
were you always connected?
Speaker 4 (10:45):
I was always connected to her, Like, no matter what
she went through, she always like made sure to call
me and like visit me. We would have visits when
I was still in foster care. And I liked that
my foster mom she made an effort to keep my
mom involved.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
She did it.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
It's amazing.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
Yeah, she didn't try to keep us apart or anything.
So we always stay connected. And unfortunately, my mom still
goes through a lot of what she's been going through
because of her mental illness, so she's in a facility
for mental health right now. So it's difficult, but that's
why I do what I do, because like, she's the
I don't want.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
To cry, no, no, please, but she's the driving force
and what I do absolutely and again we just appreciate
your vulnerability. On that note, I wanted to go a
bit into we've talked about mom reconnecting with your father.
Can you take us back to when you first reconnected
(11:43):
with your father in your twenties.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Yeah, so me and my sister we had lost contact
with him for a very long time, Like, so you were.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
In contact with him at what point?
Speaker 4 (11:56):
So the last time before I reconnected with him was
when I was him at court because my aunt ended
up getting legal guardianship of me, so he was there
for court. But after that we lost contact with him,
and I later found out it was because he was
going through a lot of like struggles and a lot
of things that he was going through at the time.
(12:18):
So me and my sister were looking for the longest
time for him and we ended up searching on Facebook
and came across his page.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
We were like little.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Fine.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Yeah, so we were like, let's look in here and see,
but we weren't sure it looked like him, like we
know what our dad looks like, but it had been
a long time.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
She were like, let's make sure.
Speaker 4 (12:39):
So we went on his page and then we found
like baby pictures of us and was like, oh, this
is him. So we ended up reaching out to like
people on his friend list, and one of them ended
up being his sister. So yeah, yeah, yeah, So we
messaged her like, you know, we've been looking for our
dad for a long time, and.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
She was so happy. It's like, oh wow, we've been
looking for you for a while.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
And so because I was scared to reach out to
him first, I was like what if he I don't
know what to expect.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Sure.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Yeah, so we reached out to her and then she
let him know and then he called me and know
this is crazy.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Well let me wait before we go, let me just
take a step back. You mentioned you were afraid to
reach out. Yeah, I can't imagine the countless amount of
people who are experiencing what you are experiencing, and they're
so afraid that they don't take that step. Yeah, what
do you say to people about how you were able
to get over that fear?
Speaker 4 (13:32):
I would say, you have to just take the leap
if you're if you're ready, like cause you don't know
what to expect. But if the positive outcome happens, then
you know, look, look what can happen, you know, like
you just have to take the leap if you're ready.
But if you're not ready and you're afraid of the result,
I would say, just when you're ready, you know, absolutely
no russ shit.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Okay, Yeah, how did the I'm assuming this is the
first meeting or is it? How did the first meeting go?
Speaker 3 (13:58):
The first meeting? It was interesting?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
And where were you at the time. Were you in
Puerto Rico?
Speaker 4 (14:04):
Oh? No, I was in La So I've always been
in La. But my dad's from Puerto Rico, right, Yeah,
but he to move to La in the eighties. He's
been there for a while. I was in transitional housing
because I had moved out of my aunt's house. I
was twenty when I found my dad, so.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
I was living in transitional housing.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Through Foster Care Resources. So that's when I met him.
And then he came there. It was an interesting meeting.
It wasn't what I expected because my dad, like I said,
he has certain struggles, so he wasn't sober, but it
was okay. It was like, you know, like I'm just
happy to see you, so sure.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Yeah. So I just took what I what I could
get from that.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And it was you and your sister that went to
go and meet with them.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
It was only me. I just tried.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
My sister was living far. She was living like in
Lancaster and I'm in La.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
So okay, yeah, did you get have the opportunity to
get to know your father's side of the family.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
I did, Yeah, So maybe like a year or two
after we reconnected, my dad took me to Florida and
we were able to meet like his cause that's where
most of his family is, besides the ones that are
in Puerto Rico, so we were able to meet more
of them. And it was such a crazy experience to see, like,
whow I have all of this extended family like that
I never really got to meet, So I love that.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
I loved that so much. Were there any challenges that
you've experienced as an adult continuing to sustain or build
the relationships with Europe, let.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Me tell you.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
And you're like, Okay, wait a minute, where we going
with these guys?
Speaker 4 (15:40):
No, but your questions are flowing because it's like it
really it applies to me, and it's important to talk
about that element because like when you reconnect with the relative,
it's not gonna look it's not gonna always look how
you want it to look.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Sure, but I'm grateful for like the good.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
What do you foresee for what's your biggest hope for
the relationships as you progress?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
I just hope that I make my parents proud no
matter what, like, even if I'm distant with either one
of them or it doesn't look how I wanted to look.
I just want to like have the best life I
can have for myself and build a legacy for my
family because it's been so much struggle and so much
so much pain, you know, So I just want to
be like the one that carries the Torch family.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Amazing. You traveled to Puerto Rico, where your father grew up.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Is that right?
Speaker 2 (16:33):
What inspired you to make that trip and what were
you hoping to learn or experience while in Puerto Rico?
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Well, I have been wanting to go for a while.
Speaker 4 (16:42):
I was actually hoping to go with my dad, but
you know, you travel with people, they like you can't
wait on them all the time. Like I wanted to
go for my birthday a couple of years ago with
my dad. He was like, you know, like I gotta
get right with that before I travel, like you know,
which is understandable.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
But I just was like, I'm not waiting on nobody
no more.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I'm going to go, and like I really want to
experience it and just see that part of my heritage.
So that that was a big reason why I wanted
to go.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Okay, yeah, and what was it?
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Like, it was amazing.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
It was like it was probably the best trip I've
been on, and that was like a solo trip and
it was just like.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
We love aye, Like, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:18):
You could just do what ever you want and I
have to wait on everybody. So it was really cool
to be able to like learn more about my dad's
culture and everything. It just it was like mind blowing
to see that that was that's part of me.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
So absolutely, yeah, just shifting gears a little bit and
thinking about you know, civic engagement, all the advocacy work
that you do Your work is so closely tied to
social justice and civic engagement. How do you hope to
inspire others to get involved in their communities and create change.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
I hope that people see that based on the things
that we're talking about, the community is so important. Number one,
we can't we can't act our community if we're not
doing it as a collective. So if if everybody's kind
of just sitting around and not trying to make a change,
it's not gonna affect anything. So we all have to
(18:11):
have a purpose in what we're doing, and like live
with purpose. So that's a big, a big thing I
want to emphasize. And I think that volunteering, like I said,
is very important. If you don't do anything else, like
volunteer help help the community. It's important for like youth
like me to have mentors and to have support.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
It's just I can't really stress it enough.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
So absolutely. Yeah, you mentioned earlier one of years story
you know about your mom, just mental health and wellness
being something that's coming up consistently. What is your hope
for America in how America plays a role in supporting
the mental health and wellness of Americans, of people like
(18:54):
your mom.
Speaker 4 (18:56):
I hope that we I hope that we find more
resources for people that need it, for marginalized communities like
people like my mom who they don't have the they
haven't had the tools that they need to get the
right help that they could get. I really feel like
that it needs to be more emphasis on mental health
(19:16):
and like how people can get the help that they need.
So I just hope that that expands. So that's a
big reason why I'm trying to be in the community
and find the answers, you know, because I don't have
the answer. But my solution was like, you know, if
I get out and help, I can learn.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
So and what about your thoughts on just the foster
care system. What are some ways that that system can
be better in order to support youth like you who
have experience or are experiencing the foster care system.
Speaker 4 (19:50):
I think that there should be a big platform for
foster youth to express what's needed, like to have feedback
directly from the youth. And I think that's why it's
good that, like I'm in an advocacy group and you
can hear directly from us that have had lived experience.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
So I think it's I love that by the way, Yeah,
because so.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Many people are like, well, you know, what do you need?
What do you need? But they don't ever ask the
people who are experiencing it.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Yeah, exactly, So there needs to be that like you're
not going to find out unless you go directly to
the people that are experiencing it. So I think that's
it really needs to be a platform for you to
be able to speak.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Yeah, we have a rather big election coming in you know,
the next few days or so. What's your advice? Well,
let me take a step back. How are you thinking
about voting? Are you excited to vote? Are you not
excited to vote? What's your processing getting there toward voting?
Speaker 4 (20:50):
I think I'm excited to vote because this would be
my first time voting, and I had a different I
was telling them that I had a different perspective on voting. Yeah,
first time vote. So yeah, and I think being an advocacy,
it shows me that we have to get out and
do that in order to see change in our communities.
Because of course, like we have this election going on
(21:11):
and stuff, and that's on a bigger spectrum, but like, yeah,
we need to get out and make change as a
community too. So I'm excited to kind of like exercise
my power to do that.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
And you're working on a book right now. Yeah, he
tell us a little bit about the book. And by
the way, when the book launches, I want you to
come back on the show.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Sure, for sure, I'm gonna do my buttlt about the book. Yeah,
So it's.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Actually been in the works for years now. Like I
had a goal to finish it during COVID, but I
didn't reach that goal because I was doing a lot
of other stuff. But it's okay, that's how it goes
writing stuff sometimes. But I started writing it, yeah, during COVID,
and I was just really inspired to like tell more
of my story. And as I got more into advocacy,
I really wanted to, I don't know, just show people
(21:56):
that it's okay to share your story, like it will
have afect other people or impact them rather. And so
it's gonna be kind of detailing like the things that
I go through having a parent that has mental illness
and like how I navigate that. And my mom used
to write me letters in foster care, so like I
kept all of them and I eliminated all of them.
So a big idea that I have is to like
(22:18):
include those somehow in the book Amazing Love, so that
the reader can kind of like see in touch, you know,
like I don't know just my mom and like how
we kept that contact when I was in foster care.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
So what are just you know, wrapping up our conversation here.
But again I want another for those listeners who are
in a relationship, any kind of relationship, a parent relationship,
another relationship with someone who was experiencing mental health or
who needs mental health support, what are the top three
(22:50):
things you would say to them on how they can
navigate that relationship.
Speaker 4 (22:55):
That's one, Yeah, I would say the first. The first
one is definitely self care, like taking care of you,
because it can be so draining to like to worry
all the time about your relatives, and you're gonna worry
because you love them. But I think self care is
the most important thing. I would say, Yeah, checking in
(23:17):
I'm still in the first one. Checking in self care
and doing things that make you happy and like trying
to be the best you can be. Number two, I
would say having boundaries because you can only help people
so much. But of course you want to help, but
you don't want to drain yourself and you don't want
to do too much to where it's gonna drag you down.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
So yeah, having boundaries and self care boundaries.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Yeah, and then having acceptance for what is and not
like taking responsibility and like ownership of everything that you
can control. You know, that's been a big thing for me.
Like I felt a lot of guilt for a while
with my mom and like what she has to go through.
But you have to realize you have your life and
like you're blessed with that for a reason, so you
have to make it the best.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Thank you so much for being on the show. Once again.
This is Dear America with Chanell Barnes. Excited to have
had Cheyenne shy Roon Santini on our show. She's flying
out tonight, but I hope she'll be flying in soon
to visit us.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yes, all right, be back for sure.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yes, amazing. Talk to you soon, America. Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
This has been a Project Ready production. To learn more
and effect change, log onto Project Readyenjay dot org or
listen anytime on all major podcast carriers.
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