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July 1, 2022 50 mins
The Jubal Show starts off talking about hamburgers, Ruben wants to prank his wife about their babies photoshoot in this Phone Prank, Amelia thinks her boyfriend of two years is cheating on her because of his bestfriend in this War of the Roses, Alex Fresh finally spills a Dirty Little Secret that she has been keeping from Jubal, Jubal Fresh reports on the most dangerous day of the year for something you take with you everywhere, Dylan took Dana to the Cheesecake Factory in this First Date Follow Up, and a man on the phone is showing off a little too much at work!

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Then Jebel Show on demand. Everybody, I'm wrong Wonkler, and
it's time for Stupid Internet Questions, America's stupid show where
we ask you the question that everybody's asking on the
dot com today and let's just get straight to it.
This is stupid Internet questions and I'm Ron Walkler today
the Internet question comes straight to us from the Internet.

(00:22):
And the question everybody's asking today is what's the best
way at hamburger should be prepped? Ore we go this
stupid Internet questions, I'm Ron Wonkler. Yeah, Like, if you
can only have one burger besides cheese, if you get
a cheeseburger, what would it be or what toppings altogether
should they be? What is the best burger? That's it? Boom,

(00:44):
catch up, mayonnaise and pickles, maybe some let us if
it's fresh, thank you. Let us can make or break
a burger. That's why they should put the toppings on
the side and let the person like put on whatever
they want. Okay, burger genius. Absolutely. You know what they
don't do enough of on burgers. Shredded lettuce. You know, yeah,
shredded lettuces put on a burger, but it gets soggy.

(01:05):
And then it falls off. But if it falls off
and it's a whole leaf of lettuce, then the burger
slips with it, and then your meat falls out too,
and then your left which is fun the soggy people
of lettuce, Like, you want a little bit of lettuce,
but you can't even rip sogu lettuce because it doesn't rip,
and then you don't want to eat it anyways, because lettuces.
It's probably one of the most disgusting things. Ever. This
happens to me all the time anytime I eat a burger.

(01:27):
Either I run out of meat and I have a
little bit of bun left, or one bun is more
than the other, or the buns are all gone and
I've got meat left. Actually, it is quite frustrated. Why
can't I figure it out? Use meat that fills up
the bun, like all the way around the edge, you know,
no extra bun, no extra meat, just like the same
size for yeah, and then like not like a huge
patty because I have a small mouth and I can't

(01:47):
fit my mouth around big burger. Okay, okay, So if
it was like your last burger, ever, how are you
having it dressed? Go? It's gonna be the bottom bun,
and then I'll put mayonnaise on the bun and the
burger cheese ketchup. That's it. Kind of got the positioning
figured out. If it was my last meal and I

(02:08):
chose a cheeseburger, I would probably not do that because
I'd probably choose tacos or something. Anyway, cheeseburger, it would
be a cheeseburger with Oh man, that's difficult because I
like a lot of toppings. Are you breaking out in
the s You look nervous. I was gonna say, I'm
really I I'm nervous about this. So I would do
pepperjack cheese. Yeah, I'm a little spice. No, I would

(02:30):
do an ortega chili on the top. Okay, it's like
a chili dog chili hamdler. You know what I would do.
I would have a chili dog, that's what you would do,
or take a chili on it. I would have some
shredded lettuce and then probably some sort of Thousand Island joe. Yeah,
Thousand Island will be good. Yes, I love Thousand Island

(02:52):
on a burger really yeah? God yeah. I can either
go super basic or like give me a gourmet burger,
you know, what I mean, like, I'm all over that
spectrum for sure. I can't eat gourmet burgers because my
mouthful foot around them. A lot of times you go
to a gourmett place and they make the burgers so
fat and they put so much on it. I get
the point. They're trying to be fancy with it and
put up many topics as possible, but it's like, I

(03:13):
can't even eat this. I'm like, I don't have a
small mouth, but God, other girls cannot fit their mouth
robs either. They're trying to give you the best bang
for your buck. Wait, they always say the best way
to create a business is to find a hole in
the market. Alex, you need to do many gourmetty burgers
for people, not like small you know, like sliders, like
they need to be regular sized, but like thin burger

(03:38):
that normally is Alex Fresh is Gormette burgers in your mouth,
then you're gonna end up getting like McDonald's type like cheeseburger.
I want the full thing. Yeah, well, I mean it'll
be better quality than that. We're gonna like McDonald's cheeseburgers.
McDonald's burgers are like a quarter inch thick, but there's
a little diced up onions. Oh my god, delic is see. Okay,

(04:01):
so first of all, McDonald's burgers used to be a
lot better than they are now. It doesn't hit the same.
You know, nothing's as good as it. That's true. Say
like if it was your last meal, and then I
was thinking about the burger for it's your last meal,
and because of like gluten and stuff, I like to
get my burgers where they wrap it and lettuce. It's
not good, but it's just like it's better for me.
And then I was like, well, probably would get it,

(04:21):
let us wrapped. And then I thought about it. I'm like,
if you is your last meal, like you're on death row,
and they're like, hey, tomorrow's the big day. You get
to eat whatever you want tonight. I bet you there's
somebody out there like they're a vegan and then they
still order like a healthy meal and it's like, why
would you do that? Yeah, for real, you're not prolonging.
You're like, now's the time to get wild exactly, Well,

(04:44):
get a put on that burger, don't let us wrap it.
Like you though, jubil, do you want to be like
in a lot of pain when you're going out. Actually,
you know what I would, I would do the lettuce
rap because I get an instant stomach. I would be bloated,
and then I would have to wait till the next
day for them to put me out of my ministry.
Any time I like to eat something like that, I'm like,
I wish somebody would just put me in the lectric.

(05:04):
This is stupid internet questions And I'm Ron walk Claire
texting four one six one, call us up eighty eight
three four three one six one. What is the best
way to prepare a hamburger? Where you can follow the
show on social media? At the Jewel Show, follow us
all individually. I'm at Jewel Fresh at that dress. I'm
at Kristen Guys now the Jewel Show on demand. It's
another jewil phone frame Heday Mornings on the twenties. Hello, Hi,

(05:36):
this is Benissimo from Photography. Could I speak to Tanya? Hi?
Oh my gosh, this couldn't not have come at a
more perfect timing. I just got off the phone with
the Twins agent um, and now you're calling to tell
me this photo is already Wow, it's fine. Yeah, yeah,
Actually I'm calling to Zing and he's going to make

(05:58):
sure that those photos are replaced sway even better ones.
He actually wants to talk to you right now. Hello, Tonio,
it's Alario. Hi. Hello, I'm sorry. I don't I was
just transferred to you, Elatio. I was just told that
the photos of my twins were deleted. Elario. Review the

(06:20):
photos taken by the previous photographer. I don't even like
to say photographer, like, I don't even know what Jack.
I look at the photos that he taken. I delete, delete,
delete everywhere. No trace of the left motorcycles when they
were wearing little delete delete delete the photography. The lighting basic,

(06:45):
the baby is basic. The basic babies? No, thank you?
What did you just call my boys basic? Did you
learn in the photo? Yes? I couldn't basic. The photos
boys basic. I want to speak with Jack. I personally
saw those photos. You gotta be kidding me. I thought
this was a perpetional photography. It's exactly what I say.

(07:06):
I'm like, we're thinking, like, Ilario already arranged photo shoot
for you and new babies. You already arranged a new
photo shoot. It was not easy, but Ilario Colin favor
find the new babies for new photo shoot. It will
be beautiful beach writing a stallion. First, sir, there's got

(07:27):
a way. No, We're not stupid, sir, there's gotta be
a way to retreat the photos of my beautiful delete delete, no, no, no.
You ride the back of a baby corn with your husband.
You on the back of a stallion on the beach
with Leo di Caprio look alike us standing for your
husband to watch that Bob. I didn't hear what you said.

(07:49):
You sit on the back of the stallion. We create
a little suit for your baby, look like a horn,
and we put him on the head of the stallion.
And now you are riding a baby corn, a unicorn
with a baby for a horse by corn. Yes, you
will be in the field with ears of corn. One
of them will be a baby tears of what corn? Wait,

(08:10):
corn on the cob like the vegetable. You will wrap
a baby husk corn husk, put them on a cob
next to you and Leo the capriole look alike for
your husband the baby corn. I want my money back.
I want professionalism, and I want someone who will never
take it upon themselves to call my belogic twins basic
and put ruben your husband on the phone. He already

(08:33):
approved the baby corns. He loved the idea. My husband, Yes,
he's on the phone. He approved the baby corn he
loved it. Give me a break. My husband would never
be involving something as ridiculous as this. Oh hey, hey,
that's me Rubin, Rubin Robin. Are you on the phone? Yeah, yeah,

(09:02):
it's me, baby a little bit. This is actually a
jewel from the Jewel Show. Your husband's on the phone
because we're doing a phone prank on you right now.
And he said you were waiting for your baby pictures.
I wanted to mess with you. Oh my god, I
want to vomit. You have the baby Wait they haven't

(09:25):
been deleted. We have the baby's blows. Yeah, no, I do,
I do. I got the Jewel Show on demand. It's
time War of the Roses only on the Jewel Show.
Is on the phone today for War of the Roses
to catch cheater. And she thinks that her boyfriend of

(09:45):
two years named Vinn is cheating on her all because
of his best friend. Hi, guys, yes that is correct. Unfortunately. Yeah,
all I can say is watch out of you. Consider
to be your friend. Oh yeah, that's why I got
rid of all mine. Okay, so his friend it's not

(10:08):
both of you guys's friend, Oh no, just his Okay, Okay,
this sounds like I need to go get some crumps
to go with my tea. Yeah yeah, yeah, Well I'll
take that tea and throw it right in his face.
If he's cheating, I'll give him something that's smith say. Okay,

(10:28):
all right, Well, I hope he's not cheating for taken
channel meal tea right in the face. All right, Well,
why do you think he's cheating? I heard from his
friend Anthony, right, And I always thought Anthony was really annoying,
but he's always been super nice to me. Anyway, he
felt really comfortable enough with me, I guess to tell
me four days ago that he has been cheating on

(10:49):
me with this girl. They met out one night for
boys night his friend. Yeah. How special is that? Oh
my god? Wow? With his So his friend, hold you,
how did that happen? He texted me and said, you know,
he just wanted to be a good friend to me
and not him. Well, I guess he's not being a

(11:10):
good friend to him either. So your boyfriend's friend texted
you to let you know that he met a girl
while they were out for a boy's night and he's
been cheating on her. He's been cheating on you with
her since Yeah, exactly that. Why do you think he
did that? Why would his friend reach out to you
like that? I mean, you know it's not It's not

(11:30):
a bad thing to do. I know that people are
bros before before whatever. You know, like everybody does that
whole saying about what side you keep. Look, just be
a good person if somebody's getting cheated on you and
you don't want that person to be cheated on. I
don't have a problem telling somebody. I'll writ somebody out.
It's fine, like I'll snitch. Um. But why do you
think he did that? Because he might have other motives too,

(11:52):
It could be that. But you know, he's always been
super nice to me, So I just think it's like
in his personality maybe to just be like honest with
around him. Wait, and so, did you like immediately believe
him when he told you this about Vin? I mean
I already had my suspicion, So that's just kind of
affirmed that. And then you said that you told you
a few days ago and you didn't. Um, I'm assuming

(12:13):
that you haven't asked him about it, then, No, I
haven't haven't talked to it about it. I just feel
like he's gonna like me. I don't want to give
him the chance to lie. I want to catch him
in the act. I want to catch him in the
lie hatch a minutes. Yeah, it's a lot easier to
I mean that that would be nice because if you know,
if you've ever been cheated on before, someone will lie
straight to your face like they will. Literally you could
have videotape of them doing it, Like they could be

(12:37):
saying each other's names while they are doing the thing
that that you think that they're that you're saying that
they're doing being like, no, she's calling you by your
first name, your first and last name, so it's a
security number. Even why are you guys, Why are you
guys doing that in bed? That's weird. Yeah, and no,
it just looks like me. You literally turned around and
waved at me and said, hey, how are you? It's
obviously you and they will just like still a lot

(13:00):
of people will just lie to your face and never
break And it's a lot easier just to catch him,
so you know for sure, right exactly, all right, well,
what grocery store is Vin, your boyfriend who probably is
cheating on you since his friend told on him. What
grocery store does he shop at? Is he Awards Card?
Remember at he shopped at? Okay, so all right, cool, Well,

(13:23):
then we'll call him from and we'll tell him we're
doing a special promotion where we give away a free
bouquet of flowers to deliver anywhere in the world to
a random Awards Card member every month. And guess who's
this month's winner. Him? Yeah, so we'll do that. Okay,
we'll see if we'll see if he gives us your
name or if he sends the flowers to somebody else. Okay,

(13:45):
all right, let's do that, all right, plays, I'll come
back and then get your Ward of the Roses to
catch Cheater. Next it's the Jewel Show. I want to
take some bets. So Amelia is on the phone today
for War the Roses to catch a cheater. She thinks
that her boyfriend Vin, they've been together for two years.
She thinks that Vin is cheating on her because Vin's
friend told Amelia that while they were out on a

(14:05):
boy's night, Amelia's boyfriend met a girl and he's been
cheating on Amelia ever since that night with this girl,
and his friend is the one who texted Amelia brought
up the conversation and told her all about it. So
let's take a bet. Okay, I put ten bucks on
Vin Amelia's boyfriend is cheating. Also though his friend wants

(14:27):
to sleep with Amelia, that's why he did it that.
I put a million dollars on that. A million, Okay,
I wouldn't have even thought of that. Yeah, that was
a first thing that came to my mind. I think
he's cheating and probably okay, we're all betting on the
same thing, but it does sound like her boyfriend might
be cheating. So we're about to call him from the

(14:49):
grocery store where he's a Rewards card member and tell
him that we give away a bouquet of flowers to
be delivered anywhere in the entire universe to one lucky
Rewards cardmember every month, and this month, then is the
lucky guy to win, and we'll see if he gives
us his girlfriend Amelia's name or someone else's. Are you
ready to go? Oh? I am. I just want to
hear this fast, say it so I can move on okay,

(15:11):
all right, here we're going to dollar phone right now. Hello, Hey,
this is Jorban calling from Is this Vin? Oh? Yeah,

(15:32):
that's hey man. How are you big? Congratulations? Thank you?
Oh what's this about? This is about me saying, well,
our entire grocery store saying congratulations, you did it. You're
this month winner. Okay, cool? What did I wish the flowers?

(15:55):
Do you know what I'm talking about? You? Have you
not been in the store recently? We got signs alike everywhere. Oh,
I guess I must have missed that. So I just
I just get flowers or we hear and get are
doing a promotion. Every single month, we choose one random
Rewards card member who gets a free bouquet of flowers
from our Florida department, delivered to anywhere in the entire

(16:16):
in the entire United States, completely free. You can send
them anywhere to anybody you want, all for free. Thirty
six longesting red roses value of fifty three dollars and
forty four cents. Yeah, okay, that works for me. Oh
what do I have to do? Well? All I need
to start the whole thing is the first and last
name of the person that you'd like to send them

(16:37):
to Yeah, absolutely, could you send them to Brooklyn? Brooklyn?
You can write something on a card. Is this a
lovey dovey type thing? Is it a sister or is
it a who is Brooklyn to you? What kind of
card would you like? Oh? Definitely the definitely the lovey

(16:59):
dovey one. Please would you want to you want to
write anything on that card? You can? You can send
a little message, Yeah, have it say my beautiful Brooklyn.
No beer Pong partner Vegas, question Mark June, question Mark
win win. Okay, yeah, good Vegas. What the planning on

(17:25):
going to Vegas with some other whoa what? Whoa? Hey?
Then well I'm sorry I wasn't calling from the grocery
store at all. This is actually Jewel from the Jewels Show.
It's a radio show. And this is Alex from the
Jewels Show. It's radio show. And this is Englishovan from
the Jewel Show. It's a radio show. And this is
Christian Gray Snow from the Jewel Show. It's a radio show.
And you're busted. Yeah, and the voice you just heard

(17:47):
was Amelia, your girlfriend, who is not from a radio
show called the Jewel Show. It's on her right now
because she thought you were cheating on her and probably
wants to know who Brooklyn? Yeah, and I get it
this way because I knew your shady assid just lie
to me anyway, So Vince who the Brooklyn? Then? Oh?
Then tell me the truth? Then, babe? Can you please

(18:13):
stop calling me? Then? No, I can't, and don't bathe me.
I'm not your babe anymore. Tell me the truth? Then?
Who is she? Then? How do you know? How do
you know? Because Anthony told me all about your boys, Knight,

(18:34):
and honestly, I just I wanted to hear you say
it yourself, and I knew that asking you directly would
just result in new line. So here we are. I
hope the beautiful Britna was worth it? But can the
only reason he told you that because you want to
oh wow it get them out of here. You cheated

(18:58):
on me, your friend, You're a he doesn't want me
to be hurt, and so he told me the truth,
even though you're incapable of the same. And even if
it was because he wanted to hook up with me,
he wouldn't have been able to if he didn't cheat.
But I'm single now, so what's going to happen? Now,
what's that supposed to mean? It means that I hope

(19:22):
Brooklyn was worth it? Boy, buy hang up on him? Okay,
I mean no, no, no, what's that supposed to mean?
What's that supposed to mean? What are you gonna do?
What are you saying you're gonna go do? What? What's
going on with your friend? You're the one that was
cheating on her? So I just want to say, whatever's

(19:44):
in your mind is probably what's going to happen. Oh wow, wow,
except probably ten times. Freak year's gonna get too well.
Hang up on here, Okay, fine, fine, I'll see you later. Vin.

(20:04):
Good luck with Brooklyn. Okay, I hung up on him. Amelia, Amelia,
are you really going to hook up with his friend?
I don't know. I mean, what are you guys? Should
I absolutely? I think you should put your addressing his
phone right now. I'd actually be on my way right
now if I would. If I are you attracted to him?
I just hooked up with him. The Jewels show on

(20:25):
demand Jubils Dirty Little Secret? Are you ready? Show? Not
at all? If you didn't know, this show consists of me.
My name's Jubil and I'm his wife Alex and that's
my wife, Alex Christian Gray Snow And Alex finally has
decided to share something that she hasn't even shared with me. Well,

(20:47):
you asked me if I had anything that you know,
I said, hey, let's do the second on things we
will never do again. That's so yeah, And this is
the first thing that popped in my head because I
want it again. I'm just like really freaking nervous to
tell it. Actually sit the one on the boat or yeah,
oh my god, I'm so excited. I wanted to know
this story. It's so I wanted to know this story forever.

(21:07):
Alex and I don't really have well that I know
of secrets from each other. This is the one thing
that she will never tell me. So this is amazing. Okay,
and this is why I don't drink. I'm not on
the edge of my seat. I have no idea. I
wanted to know this story for years. It happened at
Seafair when I was single, after I got divorced, and
I wasn't at home, but I was that summer and
I know I asked you was some sexual You said no, Well, yeah,

(21:28):
you kept nothing, questions you were trying to get at me.
I'm like no, no, no, okay, no no no. I
was like, I was like, okay, no, We're gonna ask questions,
tell me if and I was like, was it some
of these? Like no, I had something I had. I
had to get that. I had to have you get
that out of my head, all right, So what is
on somebody? No? No, no, okay. So this is what happened.

(21:48):
This guy invited me on the boat and I knew
him from a long time before the yes, oh my god,
who are you? Oh my god, holy crap, it has
been like fifteen years. Do you want to go on
my boat? It's Steve Fair. Yeah. Sure, he's married though,
right oh, and I'm like weird lighting me because I
used to like him and he used to like me,
and I was like that's weird. But whatever. So I
take one of my girlfriends and we go on this
boat in the morning, and then we went back after

(22:08):
a few hours to get his wife. Then she got
on the boat and then she was only there for
like four hours, and then she went back and then
got off, and then my friend got off, but I
stayed because boats and hose had one too many jello shots.
Definitely drunk, but they were they were strong, and yes,
jellow shots can be strong. Yes, So this is not
something that I am proud of. And I can't even
believe I'm even about to stay this out wild. But

(22:30):
I was getting the vibe from this dude right that
I used to like. And his wife left and I'm like, okay, well,
she's obviously cool with it, right, right, she came late,
she loved early, and she was cool. She was fine, right, Yeah, No,
because because I tried to kiss him and he said,

(22:50):
oh my god, oh my god, wow, think about that me.
I'm already embarrassed. I don't ever flirt with guys. I'm
the worst flirter. I'm like, I don't ever, I don't ever.
And then I try to kiss somebody and they turned
their face a married man. Oh, and then I had
to stand a boat with him. I'm gonna have to

(23:14):
talk to my therapist about this. I feel so bad
for you. I'm I was more tiffined. I had to
spend not that much longer because we headed back pretty
soon after that, way too long. I get off the boat.
By that time, I'm just like coming down from my drunknness,
and I'm like what did I do? That is all

(23:36):
Alex did I do? I felt like such a freaking moron,
And I'm just walking away, Like what do I say
to him when I walk away? You guys, the most
awkward time of my life. I'm just like looking at
him after all of this, like this entire day, like
he was pumped up, everybody had been and I'm like, Okay, well,
I'll probably not see you later. Oh god, I was

(23:58):
like with your wife, Oh, I don't even know, Like
I would never do that in a million years, Like
I'm the worst at all of that. I like, I wouldn't.
I don't even do that to like where I know
people are single. I wouldn't do that when I know
they're single. But I just had the courage because I
was drunk, and like, I just thought she was cool
with it. And then I totally saw that not clear.

(24:18):
And she texted me the next day and I don't
know why, he said to her, yeah, she said, I
don't remember, but she was unhappy. Really, yeah, told her
and then she was like, oh my dang, that was
the worst. That was the worst experience of my life. Wow.
I tried to kiss somebody, which I never knew he
turned his face said yeah. He said. He literally was

(24:39):
like nope, and he like like turned it hard, I mean,
and I was like, good for you. I looked at
him at the same time, and I was like, oh,
that's awesome, Like you're so loyal. I want to stand
up God like, oh she should know how good. Good

(25:03):
guy Alex is like, see, I was just testing you
and you passed the test. Good job, so you're welcome.
Jebil I finally told wow, that was actually way more
tame than I thought it was. In my mind. There
was I even told you. I even told you that.
I'm like, you're not even think it's that bad, but
I do, like it was so bad. I think about that, like,

(25:25):
so I'm introverted. I don't do that type of stuff.
I don't make those type of decisions. And that's why
maybe party why I shouldn't drink. I don't drink. I
don't get drunk. I do when you're drunk. Follow the
show on social media at the Jebil Show, follow us
all individually. I'm a jubil fresh. Want to get that
dudes that I don't know that I brought him ding

(25:48):
it The Jewbil Show on Demand Welcome to the I
and the Idiot News Network, where idiots aren't just in
the news, they report. The news is for Friday first,
twenty twenty two. I'm Dual Fresh and the fourth July
is coming up, and the fourth of July is the
most dangerous day of the year. For what my works,

(26:10):
you'll find out what you should be scared. Actually, it's not.
It's not that it's not you would think it would
be fireworks and using a finger, but it's not that.
It's something that's probably even more important to you than
anything on your body. Oh, it is just I'm Alex
Fresh and in my story coming up, this is a
perfect example of why I always wonder why people work

(26:33):
so hard at a company that they do not own.
Oh yeah, I have the details coming up. I'm sorry
to burst your bubble, Victoria, who's twenty two and just started.
I'm Christian graynow, and you know what they say, those
who live in glasshouses should not throw stones, or in
this case, should not throw back shots of alcohol before
getting behind the wheel of a car. More coming up
on that story. That's coming up on my story. That's amazing,

(26:54):
all right, For your first story of the day in
the I n N, The Indian News, the Report The News.
A new report found that the fourth of July is
the most dangerous day of the year for your phone.
What your phone? More phones get damaged and broken on
the fourth of July than any other day of the year.
Interesting to be careful. If you thought it was the
mostdangerous day the year for your fingers, it's not. You
need to be careful and be aware of your phone

(27:15):
safety this holiday. Let's go through some real quickly, some
ideas of why you think you would either break, loose
or damage your phone. Yeah, because I'm confused. Okay, So
like dropping in toilet when you go to the bathroom, Okay,
because you're you're plucking your wreck pocket it falls out.
Well you're wearing shorts and you're like, oh my god,
I got hurt here here okay, pulling your your shorts down.
Boom in there. Fireworks fireworks Okay, yeah, I think fireworks
probably blow your phone up. Yeah, how well, I guess

(27:36):
if you sat it down near the fireworks, I could
just see somebody putting fireworks on top of their phone,
Like I want to get a really close up video,
you know, Okay, true, I mean a lot of people
do go like camping, they go on moating, so losing
in the water water. What if you drop it on
the grill because you're grilling. Oh and you're trying to
close up video of you cooking the burgers for the

(27:57):
fourth July. So you set your phone on the grill. Yeah,
and then you flip it over with the spoil the
other side of it, and then you try to eat
it because you don't realize that it's your phone because
you're drunk. You're just like, this is really wait a second,
that's my phone. I listened to the I N N.
I knew it was the most anxiously year for phones.
M I'm an idiot content. This is then the idiot

(28:21):
news network, where idiots aren't just in the news, they
eat their phones over to Alex Fresh was on location,
I'm at burger King at like it. Okay. So a
man who worked at a burger king in Vegas for
twenty seven years. Wow, that's a long. Wow. He was
loyal for twenty seven years. He did not miss one

(28:42):
day of work. What so he on six four work.
He did not take one day off in twenty seven years.
So if you've ever worked in like a corporate organization
usually though, for your milestones, five, ten, fifteen, twenty, like,
they'll give you like small gifts, right. They won't give
you a bonus or money like something like that. They
won't even give you a ray sometimes, but they'll give
you small gifts like a Beats headphones, stuff like that.

(29:02):
And I think you're gonna go, wow, thank you so much.
I can use this for my rent. Thanks appreciate the
gift that he got for his twenty seventh year and
he didn't call in sick. One time he got a
goodie bag and it was filled with a movie ticket,
a bag of Rec's, a Starbucks cup, two packs of
Life savers, a lanyard, a key chain, two pens. So

(29:24):
then his daughter thought that was ridiculous, right, She took
a video of him opening the goodie bag and then
posted online instead up a gofund me because she thought
it was such and it has over two hundred thousand
dollars now, which is amazing. Yeah, and then David Spade
actually donated five thousand dollars too, but so awesome. And
then he actually took his first day off to be
a guest on NBC's Today show Good for him. We

(29:47):
need to interview that guy. Also, I want to see
if I can just buy that lanyard off him. Sounds
all right. This is then the Idiot News Network, where
idiots are just in the news and a red part
for our next story the day, Let's send it on
over to Christian Gray Snow who just took a day off.
He's out the door. Sorry, yeah bye, I'm on my
way in to Australia, where residents are livid after a

(30:10):
mayor was busted for drunk driving and crashing her car. Y'all,
and she admitted to having several glasses of wine before
she did this. Now then, now disgrace. The mayor crashed
her car into a tree, which is scary because according
to the WHO, the World Organization, Australia actually has the
highest rate of drunken car accidents. But what makes us
the worst thing ever, is that she had just finished

(30:31):
talking to families of drunk driving victims a couple of
hours before. Oh my god, it's like this. I feel
like people don't give credit to wine as like actually
being drunk. That's what they do. They know, though, but
they try to act like it's fine. They try to
act like wine is different because I don't know, because
it's fancier, and dude, you drink a couple of glasses
of wine, you get hand. I'm stumbling after two. And

(30:52):
then there's people that you see them on social media
all the time. They'll rip on people for taking shots
or smoke weed or whatever. And then every single night
on social media, they're like a long day and there's
like four bottles of winer just getting an Idiots in

(31:13):
the news, the News. Tune in toorrow the same time
for another hard hitting report from the I n Remember
you can follow the show on social media. At the
Jewil Show, follow all of us individually. I'm at Jewel Fresh,
I'm at that dress, I'm a Christian Grace. Now I'm
at your Mere zero zero The Jewil Show on demand.
It's another Jebil Phone Frank Day. Mornings on the twenties.
Time for your brand new phone prank. And Gina is

(31:34):
on the phone and she wants to prank her brother Patrick. Hey,
you guys, how's it going to say? You want to
prank your brother because he's moving to Austin. I do,
I do. Uh. We're from a small towne in Wisconsin,
and so where we're from is really you know, it's
quite conservative, and where he's going is Austin, So he's
a little freaked out about the difference, like what he's

(31:56):
gonna find there because they're a little bit out there. Okay,
So so he finally found a place and they just
put a deposit down. So can you find a way
to mess with him? I think I absolutely can. Let's
call him right now find out though. Here we go. Hello, Hi,

(32:22):
there is this Patrick. Oh yeah, it is m May.
I ask who who you are? Well? I guess that's
a good question, isn't it. Patrick? Who are we? I
asked myself that daily. Who are we? What are we
doing here? Hi? I am so excited to meet you.
This is Aquaries and I'm sure you've heard about me,

(32:42):
and I've heard a lot about you, and no we
haven't met, but I'm so excited to meet you and
your family. All right, your family's coming to well Okay,
I don't know if you've called the right Patrick, sir.
I tricked my wife. Your last name is last name? Well,
I'm so confused. Yes, that's that's me, But I don't
know why you're calling me. You're funny, that's silly. No, yeah,

(33:05):
we all lived together in the house and we're bunking together.
I'm I've got the bottom bunk, or you know what,
since you're new, you can have the top bunk. Wait, wait, sir,
can you just clarify? Can you start? I'm so confused
right now. I don't I'm writing some poetry. I'm how
about being well? I am? I read upon the other
day called confused feat where do we walk about? Word?

(33:28):
Where do we go? Excuse me? Excuse me, sir. I
don't want to I don't want to be rude. I was.
I was talking to Tim, and that's the only person
I was talking about the house. I don't know. Yes,
we all rent the house from Tim Timothy Timothy firm.
Oh no, there's no mistake. He told us that you
agreed to move in. And we're a little artist commune.

(33:50):
There's only seven of us that split these three bedrooms,
and you get the top bunk in my bedroom. You know,
I rented a whole house for me, my wife, and
my daughter, not some freaky artist. You're not heard about ally.
All people are down, they're all free and spirity and okay,
I'm not excited for you're excited for you to come
stay in our little commune. Do you paint? Do you
like to be painted? No? I don't paint. I don't

(34:12):
even know what's going on. I can't wait to paint you.
You just what do you mean you we're gonna paint me?
What do we talk about? I mean that I see
people as canvases, and anybody who's moved into our little
artist community, the first night that they're here, everybody sits
around and watches me as I create art all over
their body. WHOA, I'm not in man. We make smores,

(34:36):
and then I use your body as a canvas and
I make a beautiful painting with you of you. Oh
you ain't cutching my body with a brush or anything. Man,
I don't want my bare hands finger painting. I can't
wait to finger paint you. No, you're not gonna get
in finger paint me, you dumb win. And there's no
fucking way I'm gonna live with a bunch of weird

(34:57):
artists with whatever you guys do with colors and magic
and all kinds of man. I don't even want to
move to Austin, but my wife got a job, so
I gotta leave my life with normal people and move
to weird Oldville. No, thank you. I'm calling Tim right now.
I'm getting my money back. There's no way my family's

(35:19):
ever gonna move and even set foot in Austin. You're
all a bunch of weird, freaky, freak stealing, freaky weird.
I'm calling Tim right now. Well, before you do that,
let me tell you that this is actually a phone prank.
This is actually Jewel from The Jewel Show doing a
phone prank on you and your sister Gina set you up,
and she's actually on the phone right now. I'm so

(35:40):
mad at you, Patrick. I knew you were a freak
out about the people in Austin today, just how to
get you the Jewel Show on demand? First day up?
Stealing is on the phone today for a first day
follow up. He's not getting a call back from a
woman named Dana that he went would have been I know, right,

(36:02):
so much potential. I'm like, did she should call you back?
Just based on that? That's super cute, dying Dana and
they went to the library for their first date. What
that's boring as hell? I wonder if she didn't call back.
We didn't we didn't go to the library. No, no,
he said, they went to the cheesecake Factory, which is
like reading a book because their menu is so huge.

(36:23):
So Dana to the cheesecake factory. And before we get
into your date dying, how long has it been since
your date with Dana? Um, it's been about a week
and a half. I think we met on Tinder and
we talked for like a couple weeks and then we
decided to go to the cheesecake factory. And oh that's

(36:44):
a little yeah. Yeah, if I go to the cheesecake
factory once a year, that's the book I read. Oh man,
did it seem like she enjoyed the date? Yeah? How
did it go? Yeah? I mean it seems fun to me.
I mean we were talking and having a good time,
and you know, I've racked my brain on you know

(37:06):
why she's not testing me back, like I said something
wrong or I fended her. The only thing think of
she kind of was she was being kind of rude
to like the like the waitres time, And you know,
I've racked my brain on you know why she's not
testing me back like I said something wrong or I

(37:28):
fended her. The only thing think of she kind of
was she was being kind of rude to like the
like the waitres, and I don't know, she just yeah,
she just didn't have like good table manners. And so
I met it a couple of times and a couple
of times and I kind of made it like a joke.
I was like, oh, she was like she had a water,

(37:51):
she like raised her hand like we were in clad,
you didn't want to get a yeah, yeah, for just
the water. Then um, she like belched and she goes, boops,
I'm sorry. And even if you made a joke and
highlighted it, it might have embarrassed or even more. Yeah,

(38:13):
that's what I'm wondering. And I don't know, maybe maybe
an definitor, maybe it made her uncomfortable or something. Did
her mood change after that? Uh? Yeah? I mean I
did say one thing kind of serious. I was like,
are you always this rude with your table manner? She
was like, no, what are you saying? I'm worded? And

(38:35):
then I got kind of awkward and I was like, no,
you're not rude. Yeah, yeah, I think you're like, you're
not rude. I'm rude for saying that. It doesn't sound
like a good date, honestly, I mean, did she just
get factory sounds great? Um, and then you joking about

(38:56):
her accidentally burping said it sounds okay. But then after
that where it's like you're calling her rude and stuff like,
I don't feel like that would be fun. It would
be called rude on a date. Well, honestly, I mean,
other than that, I think it was a pretty good day.
Like we just told that little thick up there, you know,
besides like the belching and the reason the hand elbows
on the table complaining it to me, it was an

(39:19):
amazing date. So I don't know why she's ghosts for
me now. Yeah, I definitely like to see her again. Well,
we'll see if we can figure it out for you.
Then we'll play us on come Back and then call
her and ask her why she's not calling you back,
and we'll see what the reason is. I would guess
it might be that stuff, because I don't know, but
who knows. Maybe it did go. It doesn't sound to
me like it was an amazing date, but it might

(39:41):
have been. He might just be like kind of like ugual,
where like you just can't tell how you're feeling. Yeah, exactly,
like maybe it was the day he's ever been on.
That's true. I would literally be having the time of
my life. And just because I look like I look
sometimes pe would be like, man, that guy and how
you sound? Yeah, and how I sound like? That guy
is in hell? Right now? I hate And I'm literally
saying I'm having the most fun I've ever had in

(40:04):
my life right now. Ever, believe me, look could be
all right, Well we'll play, so I'll come back in
and call her and see if we can figure it
out for you. All right, all right, we'll get your
first day balled. Next you're just joining us for today's
first date. Follow up. Dylan is on the phone and
he went out with Dana to the Cheesecake Factory. But
now Dana took her to go box and walked out

(40:25):
of his life forever. I guarantee she had food to go,
because they give you a lot of food at the
cheesecake factory. Dylan says that their date was great, and
I think, you know what, the more I thought about it, Dylan,
I think your date was probably pretty good because you
sounded like an old married couple to me. Because Dylan
was ripping on her for table manners the whole time.
It sounds like she accidentally burped he made a joke

(40:46):
about it that might have made her feel awkward. And
then you were also just calling her out for a
kind of having bad table thing and her hand up
like waiting for because she wasn't getting served quick enough,
like crazy. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I know it sounds bad,
but it really wasn't. All right, Well, we'll call her
right now and see if we can figure out why
she's not calling you back, if it is one of

(41:07):
those things or something else, and then we'll see if
we can get you another day. You ready, all right?
Sounds good? All right, I'm Dollard from her right now?
Here were you? Hello? Hi? Ma seaks to Dana please. Yeah,

(41:33):
this is Dana. Hey, Dana, how are you? My name
is Jewel, and I'm from a radio show named The
Jewel Show, and I'm Alex from the same show, from
the same show. Yeah. Yeah, have you heard God Surprise?
Are you serious? Yeah? That's insane. So that's a good question. Well,

(41:55):
because you're not calling one of our friends back yep,
oh my god, yeah, oh god, yeah yeah. Yeah. You
went on a date a little while ago and then
you ghosted somebody. Huh. Rude. Oh yeah, okay, yeah, I
did go somebody and Dylan, if you're on the line
right now, you're can you do oh what do you do? Seriously? No, yeah, no,

(42:19):
I'm not. I am not messing around. This was the
most horrendous, insane weight of my time, first date I've
ever been on. Oh wow, seriously seriously. Yeah, all right,
Well I'm gonna you already know Dylan's on the phone,
so I'm just gonna bring Dylan on and then you
can tell him yourself, because it sounds like you're not
scared to say it. Yeah, no, no, I'm not scared. Listen,
you are. You have the audacity to tell me that

(42:44):
I'm I have no manners, I'm classless, I'm rude, I'm
not I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this anymore.
It's I'm done with like men thinking they can talk
to me like that. It's no, no more like after
my date with you, Dylan, Like honestly, like I am,
men are canceled. I'm compering. No no more men like

(43:06):
swing another behind her and nicer. Damn, Dylan, you really
did a number. So Dylan, what did you not tell us? So?
I mean you let out a huge belt and people
would what what what that did not happen? You're you're
dramatizing that. You were like so stuck on the burp

(43:29):
even happened. It was like a dash. I could listen
to these two dynostat It was like it was like
cave Man had a turkey leg. Oh my god, not
even are you said it was not you were You

(43:50):
were like determined to make fun of me. It was
like the tiniest burp I've ever had. People were looking
at us because you made it a big deal. Also, Dylan,
you are making a big deal. But you're the one
that wanted to second date. Yeah yeah, yeah, that's crazy.
You like her disrespectful table manner? Do you get turned
on by burbing? I like real people, and that burp
was real, so yeah, yeah I am a real person. No,

(44:16):
you definitely just wanted to like tell me what to
do and be a man's planer, and like all you
did was talking about yourself, like the entire time. You're
like a sociopath. I think, all right, just because a
man is explaining doesn't mean it's brands planning, Okay, And
literally what it means that is literally what it is

(44:36):
I can't explain anything. No, and I wish you wouldn't. No,
no, no no, no, it's not that you don't even know
what man's planning is. That that is literally what man's
planning is, Dylan, you're so stupid. Well, well, at least
I don't blow burbs in public and half people was

(45:00):
Oh god, get over it. It was just a burp, Dania.
Would you like to go out on another date with Dylan?
We'll pay for it? No? Hell no, absolutely not. Are
you kidding? Shocked? No? Why not? Yeah? I know I'm kidding. Now,
if you decide you want a real man who's not

(45:21):
afraid to speak of you, hear me out, you would
still go out on another date. Yet, I don't get it.
I don't get it either. It sounds like you don't
like her. I mean you guys put like you guys
can't even get along right now? If you don't even
know each other, are literally not nice day? Why would
you even want to chance that? I mean flags serious.
I think she's front, I think she likes me. I

(45:43):
don't think that's it, buddy, No, no way, I'm texting
the waitress before I'm texting you. Ever. Humiles first Gate
follow up only on the new Hits brand new dirty
little secret, and one of the most common dirty little
secrets that we get are ones that people hide from
their significant other or their spouse. There was a dirty
little secret a while ago about a guy watching Netflix

(46:06):
without his wife, and that I think is even worse
than cheating some people. You'll hear what today's dirty little
secret is. Next, It's the Jewel Show, The Jewels Show
on demand Jewils dirty little Secret. Hello, Hey, who's well,

(46:31):
don't tell us who this is. This is the Jewels Show. Hey,
and you text it in at four one of six
one saying you have a dirty little secret, So we
thought we'd call you and ask you what it is. Yeah,
hopefully you're in the middle of a meeting right now
at work. I am a worker now, um, oh my gosh,
you guys actually called me. Do you have time whatever
your name is, to tell us your a little secret?

(46:51):
Do you have time? Yeah? I gotta okay, So okay,
hopefully these people aren't listening. So my dirty little secret
is I've got this really kind of weird work thing
that I do, which I think is hilarious. So I
photocopy my butt and I put it in other employees,
mimo boxes. I've been doing this for almost a year

(47:18):
and still nobody knows who it is. Are they are
they trying to find out who it is? Because I
feel like you're probably trying to track down thet They're
never going to How do you know that, though, because
I feel like it kind of be like easy depending
on how many people you work with. Uh. Now, I

(47:39):
work with quite a little bit of people. There's a
lot of us in the office, and nobody's seen my
ass yet. Cameras uh not not in that not in
that part of the office. No, in the front office
where the lobby is. But we're working with stuff. No
late Okay, so you know where all the cameras are
so that they don't see you copying your butt, I

(47:59):
would be are you too worried? So that's some of
the walk around the corner producer ready jumping in is like,
what's the chat around the office? Is that? Like, Oh,
I think it's Janet's booty. I think it's a it's Roger's.
But everyone talking? Are you participating in these conversations? Some
of them, I'm there for some of them. They are
not onto me because undoubtedly they think the butt's pretty cute,

(48:21):
but they don't think I'm cute. So there's that. But
the manager has definitely had a meeting about it. So, oh,
it turns out you don't think they're gonna find you eventually, right,
I don't know. Well, I'm gonna follow up on that point.
It's probably an HR violation if your managers go all right,
everybody line up right now. I probably can't do that.

(48:46):
I don't think that. Actually, yeah, that's kind of crazy.
One of the co workers he thinks it's a girl,
so he's like, oh my god, it's so fine a girl,
but you have a girly looking butt. A little bit.
He's always talking to me about how cute my butt

(49:08):
is and he doesn't even know it. Well, let us
know if you get fired because of it, I will
all right another email. Well you can probably what you're
doing is exactly the time material and we look for here,
so you might get a job here. If you get fired,
we'll probably hire you with that. Right there, we go,
Just give us your resume with on your butt on

(49:29):
the copy of your Yeah, I totally will be acting
keep I can do that for sure. Cover page. Now
it's time for another awkward married moment from Jewel and
Alex Brush. You know he did yesterday he put a
freaking piece of bacon there that I dropped the floor
when we're eating, We're at a restaurant, and then and
then I'm like, didn't you pick up where do you think?

(49:50):
I'm like, did you pick up the piece of bacon
I dropped? I said, what piece of bacon? And I
had it dang sticking out like a piece of bacon,
crisp piece of on the balls. They'd have a lawyer
curb not to the Jewels show on demand
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Jubal Fresh

Jubal Fresh

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