BONUS - Dramatic Reading of Dating App DMs

The Jubal Show takes you into the world of a lady's DMs on the dating apps. I bet you'll delete your entire search for a partner.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yold's up. This is Donk and donktings you're super hot.
Here's a gym selfie to impress you. Oh my bad,
sorry about that. I didn't realize I wasn't wearing underwear
that day. But now that you see all of Donk,
what does Donk have to do to see all of you?

Speaker 2 (00:21):
It's the jewel show.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
I made that message up, but that could literally be
a message on any dating app from a dude. And
I know that because a trend is going viral of
women sharing their dating app nightmares. And we'll go over
it right now. So if you're already in a relationship,
you can be very grateful this morning and practice in
morning gratitude. And if you're not, I'm so so sorry.
But women are sharing their dating app nightmares and it's

(00:45):
all screenshots that they're sharing. So I've given producer Brad
and Victoria the dms and they'll read them in a
dramatic fashion. So this is one of the first dating
app nightmare dms that somebody share. Victoria will start, Yes,
Victoria is playing the part of the female in these.
By the way, thank you, Hi.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
How's it going, Hi? It's going well?

Speaker 3 (01:11):
Smiley face do you know that men usually don't care
about a woman's education smiley face, but for some reason,
women mention it like it would be the most important thing.
Laughing emoji.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Such a good bro. That's a bit hostile vibe. Good
luck to you.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
Literally, somebody messages somebody that, Yeah, guys don't care about
how smart you are? Why you put it on your profile?
Obviously not that smart dude.

Speaker 4 (01:43):
He's like trying to be nice, to be like this
is a safe space, but really.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
It is crazy the things that dudes do in dms
on dating apps. Here's another dating app nightmare from a
trend of people sharing their dating app nightmares.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
Like I'm even if you're pro. Profile says no hookups?
Who know?

Speaker 4 (02:02):
But you?

Speaker 2 (02:03):
Lol? Can we meet?

Speaker 1 (02:07):
You? Mean?

Speaker 2 (02:07):
Even though it says no hookups? He swiped on me
just in case I still want to hook up in
a sense.

Speaker 4 (02:13):
Yeah, this is my thirteenth reason.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Text in four. If you have any of those in
your dms, it is insane. I always like how there's
a guy in the DMS that will say hi to
a woman constantly and then they're ignored, Like you guys
don't even message it back at all. They keep saying Hi,
and then it's like Hi, Hi, wave emoji. Hi, Hey,
where are you guys at tonight? You guys look great tonight?

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Hi?

Speaker 1 (02:40):
And you guys don't ever respond to them and they
never get the hint.

Speaker 4 (02:42):
I got a message yesterday from somebody yelling at me
saying that I have changed because what I don't know.
I never respond to any of the things that he's
ever sent me before. And then I posted this was
not on a dating app, this was just on Instagram,
and then it was.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Like some people use as a dating app.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Most of those guys do.

Speaker 4 (02:58):
He responded to one of my videos and he's like,
you've changed, don't ever hit me up again. I'm not
trying to talk to you, and I'm what and your
name again? Is what I'm like, I've never talked to you.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (03:10):
I just responded with and that's what the first time
I've ever talked to him in about six months. He
will be back, though, and that's what happens, be like
whatever you've changed, you're so fat now stupid, You're stupid.
I'm not even interested. When they'll come back and be like, hey,
so sorry about that. You look really good tonight. Yeah,

(03:31):
I don't know. It's really weird. I have a weird
relationship with a couple of this that I don't know.
Here's another dramatic reading from the trend that's going viral
of women sharing their dating app nightmares.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Good morning.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
I'm sorry, but I just woke up this morning and
don't see us going anywhere in the future.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
Best of luck. Oh that's unfortunate. I can really see
what's happening, but I understand. Take care. Hey you longtime
no talk, smiley face.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
I've had a serious reflection on our meetups, and I
realized that you and I really got along really well,
and I would love to take you out for dinner
and drink.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Smiley face.

Speaker 4 (04:09):
Hey, glad that you're doing okay, but I don't think
we should meet up.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
I already moved on from us, but I wish you
all the best. You blanking blank. I knew you're blanking around.
That's what happens.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Here's another dramatic reading of a ridiculous DM that a
woman got on a dating app.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Hey, let's look up. Did you even read my bio? Yes?
But shoot or shoot that's what's crazy to me.

Speaker 4 (04:38):
It's no hookups or something in like their bios and
then guys still try to.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
Do it, and that's the first thing. So she messages
like hey, and his first response is, let's look up.

Speaker 4 (04:51):
I really would love to hear from somebody that that's
worked for.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, like, eventually, at some point it has to work
because guys keep doing it.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
So you think that there's something out of it, Like
every woman's got a story like this, But I'd love
to hear the time where somebody said, Okay, I don't.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Know one woman that has that that's worked with. I've
never met one that was like, yeah, I think that's
really hot when the guy's just like, hey, let's do
stuff when I say hi.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
But you know, it had to have worked at least once.
You're right.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
Here's another dramatic reading from women sharing their dming nightmares
on dating apps.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Hey, handsome, how are you? Hey? I'm well, how's you?

Speaker 4 (05:31):
I'm decent, having a nice lazy day and having a
nice long bat so can't complain.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Nice washing that bleephole. That's funny, though, I would talk
to that person