March 29, 2022 • 56 mins
The Jubal Show wants you to go viral with Sounds Trendy, you're a neglectful dog owner in this Jubal Phone Prank, can you believe the best friend in this War of the Roses, this is the loneliest Dirty Little Secret, this First Date Follow Up is why you don't mix business and pleasure and David faces English Evan in a Beat The Brit that will make you bravo!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Then Jubel show on demand. They're more doors or wheels
in the world? Should pineapple be on pizza? Is it
Yanni or Laurel? Those are just a few examples of
some of the world's biggest arguments that social media has
been able to solve. And there's a new ridiculous argument
that's going viral on social right now. Why don't we
tell you what it is and then argue about it
(00:20):
a little bit? Okay, Becky, what's up? Thank you guys
so much for putting this sound up on Instagram. I
posted something with it yesterday and it was hilarious. You're
talking about this, are you? Are you? Yes? Would you
use the sound for so? I used it for my dog.
(00:44):
Did you zoom in on the face while your dog
was giving you that shameful look that dogs do when
they're going to the bathroom. They always look like, man,
I can't looking at me. In the background, that look like,
don't even look at me, look at me? It was
It was perfect. It was funny Ivan to do with
this cat oh when she's upstairs? Didn't here's the show yesterday?
(01:06):
This happened in a dirty little secret? Are you so?
Every time we picked that audio. We did a reel
with it, and then we told everybody, hey, you should
go grab that and use it for your own reels.
It's ridiculous, and you did, Becky. You guys should do
that every day. It's hilarious. That's actually a good idea
that producer Christian jumping in here. I think that is
(01:28):
a fantastic idea. I mean, we have all this random
sound that I can play on the computer in front
of me from the show. I hear, Wow, that's just
a sound clip we have. We have a ton of
this stuff, but you never know what you're gonna get
because it's wackis doesn't sound clip off the air. It
(01:48):
was in the middle of a rant. I think when
I did that, oh gosh, but yeah, that's Alex. What
other sound I'm given us some thought and I'd like
to find a Giraffe said it before, and I still
stands true today. If you got a draft bringing down
the studio, I want to fight it. I'm blacked out.
Choke him out, choke him out. Bennett is dying from
(02:13):
the fact that Bennett, one of our producers, is laughing
when Alexa had choke out the draft. Now I'm thinking
about choking out a draft. That's hilarious. There's so much snack.
I know, well, I know that's why you said it.
I thought it was I thought it was funny when
you said it, But now I'm really picturing it. Where
is you effectively choke out a draft? Anyway? That could
be taken as a clip every single day at this time.
(02:36):
Listen and we will give you some audio that you
can use for your social media. Sounds trendy, that's all
we should name it. Oh whoa, that's a name. We
got a genius in the room. That's a great name.
Sounds trendy. Sounds trendy. That's pretty perfect. That is perfect, man,
that's amazing. You know Alex and ar Murdy. If you
(02:56):
didn't know that, I have to tell you that. If
you're a new listener, if you already knew that, sorry
for saying it again. But Alex and I are married,
And how cool is that? Babe? You literally all because
of this are are and our listeners using it in
their social media. Now, we came up with a whole
new segment called Sounds Trendy all because of you yelling
(03:16):
at a dude for pooping. You're welco I'm proud of you.
I'm proud to be your husband. Name Conic and it's
called sounds trendy. We need some audio for Hey the Hop. Yeah,
I got it, Oh, exactive producer bread. I found the
one we could use for today. I think this is
going to be fantastic, and I think we're all going
to look like fools. What else is now here? You going? Ready?
(03:39):
I don't read much. I'm sad. What was I talking about?
I don't know. I never actually said that out loud.
I say it to my head all the time. Okay,
so we will put a video. Think about that. How
(04:01):
many things you could use with that? Anything that you
messed up, that you should have run directions on anything.
That's exactly what I was thinking when I pulled this audio,
because I had just had to build some I keya
furniture and I was like, I think I'm going to
do a picture of the furniture, and then I don't
read much a picture of it, and I'm sad. That's
options are limitless. Things to not say on a first date.
(04:22):
I don't read much. I'm sad. Don't don't say that. Well,
I mean, this was my first appointment with my therapist
pretty much, I don't read much. I'm sad. Tell me
where that both of those things start. Why did your
therapist talk to you about reading? Producer Benepoppin? And what
(04:44):
about when your boss they send like a really lengthy
email and they're like, yo, did you read? I don't
read much? I'm sad. All right, Well, we're gonna post
our version of this and put it up on thet
the Jewel Show Instagram. I'll put it up on mine too,
At Jewel Friend, I'll put up on mind too. I'm
at that dres I'll put it up on mine too,
I'm at another radio put I don't really much out
(05:07):
go to our instagram, save it and then use it
and if you use a good one, we'll re share it.
Let's get a viral, let's get l let's do it.
Every single you didn't say the thing you didn't tell
us a viral question that you're going to that's right,
and started off with the internet questions about it. People
are arguing about what kind of bread is the best.
People are arguing about bread white and bread's the best?
(05:30):
Why the second best? Sour dose number one? But we
don't have time to argue about it you show on demand.
It's another Jubile phone frame mornings. Hello, Hi, how are you?
This is Pete Eakins calling from doggie daycare. I was
(05:51):
looking for Renee. Who is she? Hi? Renee? How are you?
I'm fine? How's my baby going? Oh? You're talking about
your dog? Spot? Yes? Good? You do know his name.
I'm thankful at least of that. I'm not getting it.
But anyway, what's going on? And wethining? Okay, what's the bot? Oh? Yes,
(06:13):
and I should know. I like the name Spot. That's
really cool. It's kind of a Retroe vintage sort of
name for a dog. And we just love his personality.
Down here, we're having a great time watching him. I'm
missing him so much. Yeah. Sure, I bet you are
missing him a whole lot. Huh. While you're out there
on vacation, probably on the beach or something, having funed,
drop your dog off and let him stay here and
(06:35):
then forget all about him. Is that what we're doing? No? Exactly,
I mean, isn't it what you guys do? I dropped
him off where I thought he would. They have done
this before, So is it a problem? Well? I well,
I you know what it is. I'm gonna go ahead
and say it. Yet, it's a little bit of a
problem for me, problem for you, because obviously I can
(06:57):
tell how involved you are so well, if it's involved
in my dog, I need to know exactly what's going
on here. You've done to alarm me at this point.
M m oh, I'm sorry you finished? You finished? Yeah?
What I was saying was that we here at Doggie Daycare,
we care about every single pet that we get in here,
(07:19):
and personally, I do call people from time to time
when I see a neglectful pet owner just to go
neglectful pet owner? Mmmm? Yeah, what do you mean about that?
I think you know what I'm talking about. Let me,
I'll be on my way to come and get him
very very soon. We're not going to play this any
Matt All is involved as I am with him. Fool
(07:40):
you to tell me I'm a negletful pet owner. Have
you ever been to my house to see how I'm
taking care of Have you e even have a fool
as to how his environment is? Rue? Yeah, I don't
give a about all this. I'm getting ready to come
down here and give my pet. That's it. I'm done.
I'm done with you. M Yeah, I'm talking about the
social media posts. Social media post makes me a neglestive
(08:03):
cut owner. Oh no, I'm not talking about yours. I'm
talking about the ones that we've posted on our Instagram.
Since your dog has been staying here, I've noticed I
don't care about Instagram. I don't use Instagram. So what
does sistagram have to do with my dog? You made
a couple of posts on my dog and he looked
at neglestful. Oh well, we did a couple of posts. Yeah,
and your dog was in the background and a few
of them. And I went through the likes and look
(08:25):
who was missing. Look who didn't like any of those
posts I'm talking about you. Wait a minute, Wait a minute,
So if you're time to tell me that my dog
indicated that he did not he was unhappy with me
because I didn't like a social media poem, Well he
didn't so much say it, I could tell. I could
just tell. It. Sounds so crazy to me. You sound
(08:46):
crazy to even listen. So you know what for? You
ask my dog is he ready for me to come
pit his st because I am or my way? And
while you add it, you just get your boss and
let your boss know that I prepare to meet them,
and I'm gonna call the lawyer or you because I
can't believe this. Wou phonell you're gonna call me about
a social media post that my dog is saying it
doesn't even make Well, you wouldn't even know about it
because he didn't like it. Probably well, no, you probably
(09:08):
saw it, probably didn't like and I would never like it.
Oh you're still going okay mmmm mmmm that that thing
that you're doing is really starting to irritate the crap
out of me. Are you gathering what I'm saying to you?
Or is it getting you the wrong person? I'm coming
(09:29):
to my way down there. You never have to worry
about it again. I'm coming down there whip some This
will never happen to the next person. You don't have
to worry about that. Well, then I'll let you know
that your sister set you up for a prank phone call,
because this is actually Jewel from the Jewel Show doing
a phone prank on you. You're your sister. She said
that you're out of town and you're like a real
(09:51):
protective of your dog and that you hate social media
and you want to be in a mess with you.
Oh the she's trying to raise my person. You wait
till I see her. She's got a dog for all.
Oh my god, I can't believe it. Did Jebel show
on demand first day follow up. I'm shocked that the
dude on the phone today for a first date follow
(10:12):
up isn't getting a call back. You know why? Why
because he's got business cards. And any guy that has
business cards is definitely a catch, in my opinion, the
sign of a great man. Yes, it is Nat. How
are you? I'm doing good? Thank you for having me. Yeah,
thanks for your email. Your email said that you met
the girl you want to call today because you slid
(10:33):
her your business card. Yep, and she slid me hers. No, what,
she has a business card too? First question, how many
do you have at once? Don't keep five on me
at all times. If I'm running low at the end
of night iveryload every morning, I've got him with undeed him?
All right, Well, tell us a little bit about the
woman that you slid the business card too. How the
whole thing go down? All right? So I was mentioning
(10:55):
that delivery to where she worked, and what do you do?
I worked in the deer industry. Okay, so you're making
a beer delivery. Yeah, yeah, I was. She was working
at this bar, one of those strangs of choice where
I met a girl at the bar, but it was,
you know, before the bar was officially open. So it's
your story than it sounds. Yeah. Okay, so you dropped
(11:15):
off some beer and then you just lingered about awkwardly
hoping that you could talk to her more. It wasn't
really awkward. You know, she kind of started chatting me up.
I was chatting her up back, and you know, it
was one of those situations where the time gets away
from you. I realized, oh, I'm gonna be wildly late
to my next delivery, and your boss didn't understand that
you can call your boss and be like, sorry, boss,
(11:36):
i'm a little late on my delivery is today. But
I was handing out my business card to a hot lady. Yeah,
so I gave her my business card before I left, thinking,
you know, she's nice. So we seemed to be hitting
it off, and she gave me her business card back,
so I thought, Okay, this is obviously got to go down.
Yeah for sure. I mean the next step after business
cards is marriage. Well, I'm a little slower pace than that.
(12:00):
So I started with testing and she tested back. Yeah,
so I thought everything was going great. You know, we
were started off as kind of friendly. Then it got
a little flirty, little hot and heavy. So fine, hot
and heavy for me. Yeah, you know, she was throwing
some emojis in there, she was sending me some memes.
It was getting a little a little spicy. That is,
hot and heavy, Okay, were cold and light? I'm not sure,
(12:23):
I'm not sure. So it was the eggplant. Oh yeah,
So did you guys actually go out on a date
or were you just texting back and forth and that's
all that happened. Well, this is why I'm calling you, guys.
I'm hoping you didn't step it in for me. So
the next week I figured I would see her in
person a day and when I made the delivery and
I could ask her out in person. I thought that
would be a better gesture. But when I show up
(12:46):
to her place of work, it's somebody else taking the
delivery for me. And yeah, so you know, the next
day I tested her saying ay, sorry I missed you,
and then nothing. I've ghosted ever since. Well, so do
you think that she on purpose wasn't there. Maybe she
saw you coming in the door and was like, oh
my god, nope, this guy. Yeah, that sounds very familiar. Yeah,
(13:09):
I'm just confused, as I was. I say, you know,
emojis were flying. No, we're not confused at all. And
also didn't answer that question. I know it's an uncomfortable
question to think about, but do you think that maybe
she saw you coming and was like, I'm gonna hid
in the back and send someone else gonna come there. Honestly,
I think that's probably what happened. That's both of you
(13:30):
to admit that. At least you know he took the
first step. Well he's well, here's why, I think, because
you know, in our industry, you kind of hanged around afterwards,
you trying to mess around with some people. And I
don't know, I think maybe she has a boyfriend or something.
Maybe it's started off it's just sort of like fans,
it's flirting, and then when she realized, oh I'm going
to be seeing him in person again more often, maybe
this isn't such a good idea. So that's what I'm thinking.
(13:53):
I just want to make sure that I didn't do
anything inappropriated. Okay, So you think that she might have
a boyfriend. That's the problem. That's the reason he's not
texting you back and also hiding from you in a
storage room. I mean, that's a situation. I'm cool with it,
you know, I understand. I just want to, you know,
make sure that we're on good terms. We have to
see each other to get awkward. Yeah, especially since you
have to see her for work and drop off to
(14:14):
deliveries and stuff. You know, Yeah, and everyone's on. I'll
show up with a shirt that's ripped almost off and
be like, oh man, I don't know what happened last
Celebt almost took my whole shirt off. I wouldn't normally business,
but here's my business card again if you want it,
all right, well, we'll play a song, come back, and
then call her and get your first aid follow up. Okay,
I appreciate that. All right, hang on, it's a jewel show.
(14:35):
Excuse me, somebody order some beer? Alex role play with
me here? Excuse me? Did somebody order a heavy creative
beer that I'm holding on my shoulder while my bicep ripples. Um?
Was that your bar? Yeah? Guess what what? I'm the
(15:00):
delivery guy and here's the beer. Luckily, I have these
huge muscles to carry heavy things. Would you lack a
business card? Oh all right, well here's the beer, and
I'll get back in my delivery chuck and make my
way home right in the middle of a first day
follow up. If you just joined us, the reason that
(15:22):
I did that roleplay wasn't just for fun. It's because
that's exactly what happened when the dude who's on the
phone for a first day fall up today met the
girl that he wants to call Nat. Is that pretty accurate.
That's exactly how it went down. It's like I was listening,
just to refresh your memory real quick. Nat is on
the phone. He delivers beer, and he was making a
delivery to a bar where he met a girl named Tara.
(15:42):
They exchanged business cards, they texted back and forth playfully.
He said that she was very flirty, and then the
next time he showed up to the bar, he was
going to ask her out because he wanted to be
a gentleman and do it in person, but she wasn't there,
and she also hasn't answered any of his text messages after,
so he thinks that maybe she saw him coming didn't
want to deal with him, had someone else go up
there take the delivery, and then she just hasn't been responding,
(16:05):
and he's wondering if he did something wrong, especially exactly
what I'm saying. All right, Well, I'm going to dial
her phone of it right now and see if we
can figure out what happened. Here we go, Hello him,
I speak to Tara. Please. This is hey Tara. How
(16:25):
are you? This is jew Bil from the jew Bil Show. Oh,
what can I do for you? That is a good question, Tara. First,
let me introduce you to who is on the phone
right now. It's me. My name is Jewbill, I host
the show Hi Awsome with Me. Is Mahata's wife Alex
Fresh Hey, Hi. Oh a family affair okay? Yeah? And
English Evan. Hi. He's not related to us. It's a
(16:48):
true family affair though, Yeah it is. Okay, Hi. What
what are you guys calling me for? Because we do
a segment on our show called the First Date follow Up.
What that is where if you go out on a
date with someone and then ghost them, they can email
us to get you on the phone and find out why.
So we got an email from a guy named Nat
(17:08):
he's a big, buff delivery guy, very tan, wears tight shirts.
Is that an accurate way to describe him? That is
not what he looks like at all. But yes, you
remember that. Okay, I said this all delivery guy in
my head. Anyway, do you remember when he slipped you
his business card? Yes, there was a business card exchange. Yeah,
(17:34):
we're old school. Um, so he emailed you guys to
call me because he said that you guys, you know,
initially met exchange business cards and then you were texting
hot and heavy. He said it was very flirty and
he wanted to ask you out. But the next time
he showed up to your bar to drop off some beer,
you weren't there. Also, you don't responded to any of
his text messages. Is there a reason why that's not
(17:56):
a very professional? Um? I mean it's really nothing. He's
lovely and really that was that's such a verbal pat
on the head. But he's just yeah, yeah, bless his heart.
He's really great. Um. Honestly, he really is nice and
(18:20):
we've got along. Well, it's just that, Um, it's usually
the same distributor that hits the same bars really close
to like my bar. So what usually when you're kind
of flirting or messing around with people in the industry,
especially the sales reps. There's always a chance that you're
gonna be hooking up with a person who is hooked
(18:43):
up with other people. You know, it can get a
little messy, and I like to keep a clean bar,
so so you don't want that down. Basically, you don't
want to like start dating him and then it just
be ancestral with all of the beer people that you know.
That's smart. Yeah, that is smart. Thank you for being honest.
I mean, that's a that's a valid reason not to
(19:05):
want to date someone that you kind of work with,
because it does cause a lot of problems for people,
and most people don't think that far ahead. Obviously Nat
doesn't think that far ahead because he still wants to
date you. And guess what, Yeah, Nat is actually on
the other line. I wants to talk to you. Oh what, Sarah, Hi,
(19:26):
Hi Nat? How are you pretty good? So this is
a more awkward than I thought it would be. Yeah. Yeah,
he was worried, and I was worried that he had
a boyfriend. Oh oh no, I don't have a boyfriend.
I just you know, don't want to date you. Oh yeah, sorry,
(19:48):
I didn't mean for it to I didn't mean for
it to come off a little harsh. I just meant,
you know, did you just hear what I said on
the call? Yeah? No, I mean that totally. It made sense. Yeah,
I'm just, you know, a little bit confused because we
were definitely flirting. But then I guess it just kind
of stopped. So suddenly I thought you were cool hooking
up like other folks in the industry? Were other folks
(20:12):
in the industry? How many people you hooked up with? Nat? Yeah,
this is exactly what I'm talking about. See how many?
How many have you hooked up with? Yeah? I'm not
gonna go ahead and say that. Come on, you're you
made this. You made this whole thing about the radio,
about calling me on the radio. So how many in
(20:33):
the you know, metro downtown area bars have you hooked
up with? Um? Yeah, yeah, I'm not gonna give you
a number, but I'll say it's a couple. A couple,
don't believe Yeah, it sounds like a low ball. Yeah, well,
let me throw it back at U Kara. How many
(20:54):
have you hooked up with? Is just turning into dirty? Well?
You know it only took one for me to learn
my lesson. That's that's why we're here where we are. Well,
I'm a slow learner. What can I say? Oh, okay,
so you're getting around the whole barty industry man. Yeah,
(21:16):
but look, I'm not just like some weird man float.
You know. I really feel like there's something special here
and I want to be able to look past the
work stuff and take you out on an actual date. That. Yeah,
that was pretty sweet there terrible, Well, that was very lovely.
(21:36):
Let me ask officially before you do that, would you
like to go out with that on another date? We
will pay for it. Um, Well, you know what he
said was what he said was really sweet and he
convinced me. And I think this is a pretty big
effort to call the radio and everything. I think he
deserves the chant. I'll give my chant. Yeah, the Jebel
(21:58):
Show on demand Jewels. Dirty Little Secret. Time for your
dirty little secret text in four one to six one.
If you have a dirty little secret, you can tell
us anything, literally, whatever you want. Because we don't even
ask what your name is. Everybody remains anonymous. So what's
your dirty little secret? Yeah? So my girlfriend and I
(22:19):
live together um, and she's been she's been like just
sneezing a lot. Um. It's that season, right right, I
mean that's what she was thinking, you know. But she
doesn't have seasonal allergies, and she she's never had summer allergies.
But um, coronavirus. No smell. She can smell, but her
(22:42):
nose is running and like she's got itchy eyes. Um.
And she's super allergic to dogs. But we do not
have a dog. Okay, So so my secret, I I
it's my fault. I know why she's sneezing because I
am a dog person, and I have been going to
the dog park near our place like a lot, like
(23:04):
every weekend out coming home from work. Yeah, you guys,
you don't go there with a friend who has a dog.
You go there to hang out like a treepy old man. Yeah,
I mean you bring your van with tinted windows. You
just go hang out a free candy. Yeah, so you
don't have a dog, but you just go there and chill.
I don't have a dog. I just like like wing
(23:25):
by and chill out and play with the dogs. And
I'm guess I'm bringing home like fur and dancing at me. Okay,
you like dogs that much. The dog moms and dads
at the dog park are like, where's your dog? Are
they not asking? Yeah? So yeah, Like the first couple
of times I would go, you know, people would ask
me where my dog was, I was like, oh, I'm
(23:45):
just I'm just waiting for them going to meet me here.
But then I kept coming back, so I eventually confessed
to all of them when they ask, and like, my
girlfriend's super alergicy dogs, but I really love dogs and
so and they're they're actually happy because like you don't
have to play fetch with their dogs, like kind of
give me the toys? They ask. Why. Yeah, Well, I
(24:08):
mean I think they get I mean they're all like
dog lovers too, they get it. And I think they're
you know, happy that I'm happy. But it's like, I'm
sure some people are happy. You think it's weird. The
dogs are happy. They get a break from their dogs
where you're throwing them toys and stuff, so that everybody's happy.
This is a very it's a very innocent, happy, dirty
little secret. Also, I don't know why the thought of
someone without a dog going to the dog park just
(24:29):
to hang out and play with dogs. It's really creepy
to me. But it's totally innocent. Yeah, yeah, it's totally innocent.
But to everybody but my girlfriend. I mean, she's miserable
and I feel really bad. Should like change your clothes
and wash your hands when you get home, huh, like
before you even come in the house. Yeah, before you
know it, before you know she's gonna think you're cheating
(24:50):
on her because you're taking a change your clothes. You're
gone for a little while, you come back the next thing,
and no, I swear I'm not cheating. I'm just like,
I really like dogs. Yeah, I'm having a love affair
with all these dogs. Have you realized that? Pretty much
you are. You're acting as a dog like watch up,
(25:11):
but you're not getting paid at the moment. Oh yeah,
I should. I should start churching. I guess that'll give
you more of a reason to be there. Go on
the rover up and make some money. Okay, now we're
making some ways, make some cash. If you're gonna cheat
on your girlfriend with dogs, you might as well get
some You might as well get paid for it. Yeah,
there should at least be a little bit of cash
(25:33):
coming my way. It's just true, that's true. Well, thank
you for telling us your dirty little secret. Thank you.
The Jewels Show on Demand. Welcome to the Iron n
the Idiot News Network where idiots aren't Just in the news.
For Tuesday, March twenty two, I'm Jewel Fresh and you
have something in your body that isn't supposed to be there.
You'll hear the crazy discovery that scientists made about something
(25:55):
weird that's been put in our bodies. Coming up in
a second, but first, let's meet you. Wow. I'm Alex
Fresh and one it used to be major lead singer
in the nineties boy band got physical with a photographer recently.
I have the clip of it and the details coming
right up. I mean the Chevin and if you diet,
isn't that I'm not loving it? I'm that coming up
in my story. I'm Christian Graystone. I'm telling you about
(26:16):
the funeral home you do not want to send your
dead loved ones too. In my story that's coming up
today in my story before your first story of the
day in the Iron and the Adiant News networker Airport
the news, we have plastic in our blood? What scientists
in the Netherlands have just discovered that at least eighty
percent of the world has bits of plastic in their blood. Well,
humans are now recyclable. Evan, You've got to be full
(26:37):
of plastic because you do eat a lot of McDonald. Yeah.
I do the Iron and the Idiot News Network, where
idiots aren't just in the news, they report the news
for our next story the day. Let's send it on
over to Alex Fresh, who was on location with an
old boy band person, Nicholas Shay and his wife. They
were out in Beverly Hills over the weekend. Nick saw
somebody taking a picture of him from a car, so
(26:58):
he went over there and like started freaking out on
her and was like acting erotic and really weird. And
then he was seen walking into a hotel with two females,
Vanessa being one of them, Vanessa holding hands with another girl.
Never really has nothing to do the story, but I
just had to say that because though that was funny.
But this is Nicolas sche freaking out on the photographer.
Why are you saw a map for Collie? I'm a girl,
(27:19):
I'm just a Yeah, hit in the window, But why
are you hitting the window? I get the why are
you being so funny? Because why are you used to
be at the street. I'm a photographer. I'm looking for celebrities.
I thought you're a celebrity. Thought, I think you're drunk.
We're here. What boy band was he ninety eight degrees degrees?
She's like, I thought you were celebrities. Like, no, I'm Nicolas.
(27:42):
I haven't been one for a long she knew. What
would you be mad about that? He was like, I'm Nicola, Sha,
i haven't been relevant for like twenty five years and
I can still get a three. Yeah, that's I was
sending it back to you. This is the Iron and
the Idiot News Network, where idiots aren't just in the news.
For our next story of the day, let's in and
on over to English Evan, who is currently I'm with
(28:04):
a bizarre diet cult that lives without food and water. Recently, though,
the cult caught its leader eating Adam McDonald's son. Yeah,
it's amazing. The leader, he was seen leaving seven eleven
(28:24):
with a slurpy and a slur a hot dog and twinkies,
managed to convince his followers that everything was okay, and
then the next day they caught him leaving mcconalds. They
believe that you don't need anything in the way of
food or water. You only need the sun and the air.
(28:46):
That's amazing. It's like, you know, whenever a televangelist gets
cut with a prostitute or whatever, it's the same thing,
but with this guy, it's McDonald's and seven eleven. Look,
we all need a cheap day as all I have.
Ending it back to you, thank you very much for
that story. This is the I n the idiot who's
now where idiots aren't just in the news. For our
(29:06):
next story, the day, let's send it on over to
Christian Gray Snow, who is on location in Jonesboro, Arkansas,
where in a Jonesborough attorney has filed a lawsuit against
a Little Rock funeral Home after a man named Harold Lee.
He died back in twenty nineteen and requested to be
buried next to his parents, but his wife found out
that the funeral home cremated him instead of burying, which
(29:31):
happened to be strictly against his religious request because he
believes that he will not be a part of the
Second Rapture, the Coming of Christ if he's cremated and
his body is not here to be taken, so they
did not respect his wishes. They are now being sued
and they returned the five thousand dollars they were paid
in burial insurance and they have apologized for the extreme
(29:51):
mental and emotional put the wrong person in the wrong thing,
in the wrong pile. Can you imagine all and there's pile.
They just put them all at one place in divan up.
I don't even know that. We don't know. They could
be messing with ash. That's why someone's gonna get really
(30:13):
upset over this. Yeah, so yeah, that's all I have
sending it back to you. This is the end of
the Idiot News Network. You never send it back at
the end. This made you. You don't want to be canceled.
Let's let's cremate the I n N for the day.
It's such an insensitive story. Christian and the Indian News
(30:34):
Network where idiots aren't just in the news and programming.
Note from the I n ND, We're very sorry about
our roving reporter Christian Grace now for bringing up that
whole cremation fiasco. I'm going back to Florida and people
doing math and the reason that he did that was
because he's been in Florida doing maths. Very bad judgment.
We're sorry about that on the ISNND, but please join
(30:55):
us tomorrow same time for another hard hitting report. I
remember you follow the show on social media at the
Jewel Show. Follow all of us individually. I'm a Jewel
Fresh that I'm at Evan on the radio, and I'm
at Christians the Jewbil Show on demand. It's another Jewbil
phone Frameay mornings on that's twenties. Good afternoon. This is Ynette.
(31:22):
How can I help you? Hi, Lenette. My name is
Pete eakins Um. We've never met before. I'm actually in
the corporate office in human resources. How are you? Oh? Hi? Yeah? Good?
How are you? I'm not too bad? Thank you for asking. Listen,
do you have a moment I need to speak with
you about something? Of course, absolutely, you're not firing me
or anything, as long as that's not happening. Like I said,
(31:47):
I need to talk to you for just a minute, okay,
because I need to get some information from you about
a situation that happened recently. Okay, so great, Thank you
for being agreeable with that. I need to talk to
you about the lunch situation that's going on with you.
(32:09):
You know what I'm talking about. I'm not one hundred
percent sure. I think you have to clarify for me.
I'm talking about the fact that, well, there's been somebody
who's been stealing people's lunches in your building, and do
you know anything about this? Yeah, I already know that
you do, because I'm asking the question even though I
already knew that you do. So really don't need an
answer that question. I know that you know about this. Wait,
(32:33):
I'm sorry, I need some clarification here. Are you insinuating
that I had something to do with that, because I've
had my lunch too on a few times actually, and
I'm really upset about it. So yeah, I know you
are very upset about your lunch being stolen, so much
so that you decided to commit murder. Okay, what are
you talking about, Well, not murder, but almost murder. Okay,
(32:57):
you've completely lost me now, I don't understand what you're
talking about. You know, we here at corporation, we take
our employee safety very seriously. We like our employees to
be able to come into work and feel like they're
not going to be poisoned by a coworker. Absolutely, Well,
what are you talking about poisoning? You had your lunch
stolen and you plotted your revenge, and now Ted from
(33:20):
Sales is in the hospital. Sales is in the hospital.
What are you talking about? What's wrong with him? What
happened to him? Okay, come on, I wasn't born yesterday,
all right. I've been in HR for a long time.
This isn't the first attempted murder. I've seen what I
attempted murder. Okay, what are you talking about. I'm talking
about the fact that you planted peanuts in your lunch,
(33:42):
and you knew that Ted was allergic to peanuts, so
you put peanuts in your lunch knowing that he was
the one taking lunches, and then when he stole yours,
he would eat it and then would go into shock
and die from his peanut allergy. You knew that. So
you're trying to insinuate that I tried to kill my
own coworker for stealing a lunch, that I tried to
kill him. Oh okay, you know what. You're obviously out
(34:05):
of control and a risk. So I'm going to call
the police right now and have you removed from the
building and also arrested for attempted murder because I can't
do this anymore. You're obviously out of control, and I'm scared.
You stay and you talk to me. This is ridiculous. Okay,
now you're right down. You come right down to my
office right now. You have a face to face conversation
with me. I want to meet this person. I can't
do that. I'm scared now. I'm scared now. I mean
(34:27):
I'm gonna show up. If I show up to your office,
I know I'm gonna be stabed with a letter opener.
I'm not going to do that. I've been I've been
in this job a long time. I've been stabbed with
a letter opener five times. What is going on? Oh,
it's a prank phone call, that's what it is. It's
a prank phone call from HR No. This is actually
Jewel from The Jewel Show doing a phone prank on
you and your co worker Ted set you up. We
(34:51):
are you? Are you serious? Yes? He said that somebody
wh's been stealing your lunch you want to meet to
mess with you. Oh my god, I'm gonna kill him
for real. I'm gonna kill him. The Jebel Show on Demand,
It's time War of the Roses only on The Jewbil Show.
(35:13):
Amantha is on the phone today for a War of
the Roses to catch a cheater, and she thinks her
boyfriend of seven months, Damien, is cheating on her. Samantha,
thank you for your email. I hate they have to
come on the show like this. But why do you
think Damien is cheating? Well, because she's like completely crazy.
She yeah, I'm talking about my friend Anna. You know,
(35:34):
like she's totally crazy. Do you think that your friend
Anna is cheating with him? No, he said, Anna's crazy
because like she's my friend and she has a tendency
to like get really jealous of my relationships. So you know,
it doesn't matter if it's like, you know, a family
friend or a neighbor or you know, even if it's
(35:56):
romantic anybody. It's just like anybody else being in my life.
She just like she hates it and now she like
so super jealous. Huh okay, and wow, you think he shocked?
Like she doesn't soundsually that sounds like middle school, right, Ah, right,
she doesn't sound like a good friend. I don't know though,
because we started off talking about your boyfriend who you
(36:17):
think is cheating on you, Damien, but you just started
going in on this on this Uh Anna, Yeah, you
started talking about Anna. So does that have something to
do with Damien or she just texted you right before
he brought you on. You're like, I can't stand her. No, no, no,
it's because like the other night when when um, Damien
was out, like she she called me and she said
(36:37):
that she she had actually DMed him and was like
trying to get him, you know, to flirt with her.
So she she like said like he was flirting back
with her, and so afterwards I had to show me
the messages and and I told my boyfriend about it,
and he was like, oh, you know that bitch is crazy,
which true, but um, he said, you know, she probably
(36:58):
made up the messages and app and so like he's
totally denying it. You know, Okay, I'm really sure. I
mean what were these like they were just ex super
flirting messages like on his end or both. Well, yeah,
first Anna started flirting and he started flirting back, and
he went like really he really went in, So you know,
I'm getting really pissed. So so you so your friend
(37:21):
started flirting with him, he started flirting back, and then
your friend showed you the d M. Yeah, because she
said you know, you can't trust him. He's totally a flirt.
I wasn't really sure because, like I said, she's always
like jealous, but you've only known Damian for seven months. Yeah, yeah,
so I need to be sure because I can't just
go by with Anna saying yeah, I need to like
(37:43):
see what he says. Okay, he's always telling me no
you know, no, no, no, no, nothing's happening. You know
it's only you. But who do you trust more? I
mean I was going to ask that trust more because
you said your friend Anna has been doing this almost
since middle school, and then you have your boy friend
of seven months, so well, you know she she does
(38:05):
stuff like this because she's jealous. But you know, when
when it comes down the hard time, she's really there
for me. You know, she's always been there, you know,
when I needed her. But this jealousy thing is just
I can never tell if if it's really, you know,
something happening or if it's just her jealousy streak. So
all right, well, I mean definitely it sounds like something
(38:26):
weird happened with him dming your friend or your friend
damning him flirty first or whatever is going on. So
let's see if we can catch him. Is what grocery
store does he shot at? You know where here's a
rewards card members are oh, okay, all right, cool, So
we'll a call from there and we'll say that we
just upgraded our floral department and we want to send
some flowers to anybody. We want to offer him a
(38:47):
free bookay flowers to send anywhere in the world and
see if he sends them to you or to somebody else. Okay, okay, yeah,
that sounds good. Guys, thanks so much. I kind of
hope that you know it's not true, because then then
give me a reason to stay with him, because I
kind of I really like this guy and I'm kind
of getting fed up with Anna. So okay, I'm hoping
(39:08):
the best problem. All right, well, we'll play a song
come back, and then call him and c if he
is cheating in your roar the Roses to Catch a
Cheater next? All right, all right, okay, it's a jewel
show friend in the middle of war The Roses to
Catch a Cheater If you're just joining us. Samantha is
on the phone and she she thinks that her boyfriend
of seven months, Damien, is cheating on her all because
(39:28):
of a really terrible friend that she's had since junior
high school. Apparently, she has a friend named Anna, and
that friend send her some dms of Anna flirting with Damien,
who is if you're keeping up with the storyline here,
who is Samantha's boyfriend. And Samantha says that this friend
always tries to like ruin things for her because she
(39:49):
gets jealous. Also, though she does think that her boyfriend
was flirting back, and she's not sure if her friend
actually like made the dms like photoshop basically made him
in an app to like make her boyfriend look like
he was learning, or if he actually was. So we're
gonna call him right now and offer him some free
flowers that send to anybody in the world and see
(40:09):
if he sends them to his girlfriend Samantha who should
send them to, or Anna, and find out if those
dms are real or not, and then also find out
if he's cheating, right, not Ana or not somebody else
or somebody else or anybody, yeah, anybody other than Samantha.
That means he's cheating. All right, Samantha, you're ready to
call him? Yeah, let's do it. Okay? Hello, Hi, I
(40:38):
was looking for Damian. Yeah, that's him, Damien. How are you.
My name is Jahara and I'm calling from and your
Rewards member with us, and I have some exciting news. Yeah, okay,
just if you don't mind, just cut to him. I'm
in the middle of something. We are doing a promotion
right now where we're choosing three Lucky Rewards Card member
(41:00):
every month to receive thirty six red roses to send
to anybody they want in the entire world because we've
upgraded our floral department. Hopefully you come check it out.
But it's completely free. The roses will look like they
came from you. And congratulations you are one of the winners.
But I didn't enter a contest. Well you kind of did,
just by being a Rewards member. It's our way of
saying thank you for shopping. Let me, I'm sorry, man,
(41:23):
I just let me just kind of get this right. So,
because I shopped from you, guys, right, I'm already entered
into this contest and I randomly won free flowers to
go anywhere. Right, you can send them anywhere. Yeah, I
don't have to pay and I don't have to pay
for it. Right, you don't have to pay anything you
already did basically by shopping at the store. And yeah, no,
you don't have to pay anything, don't have to do anything.
(41:44):
I just need to get some information and then we'll
get these bad boys shipped out. Cool, all right, yeah man,
let's let's do it. Thank you sweet. Okay, Well, all
I will need from you is we already have your
contact info. You'll get an you'll get a email or
text message, whichever you selected on our thingy. You'll get
a message confirming all the details of this. But so
let's start with the name. Do you know who you
want to send them too? I know it's kind of
(42:05):
like a spur of the moment kind of thing. Cool.
Can you can you send them to Denny? And is
there anything that you want to write on a card
till old Denny? Yeah? Can you put um let's go
dancing again, and then wink weink, like either draw like
a winky face two of them, or like just write
wink out wink wink with a winky emoji. Okay, yeah, yeah,
(42:29):
I can do that for you. I also would like
to introduce you to your girlfriend, Samantha, who's on the phone.
You already know her, I'm sure what, Yeah, your girlfriend,
Samantha's on the phone, because this is actually the Jewel Show.
My name is Jewel Mind's Alex Bennett. And your girlfriend's
on the phone because she thought you might be cheating
(42:49):
on her. And she's probably curious about who Denny is?
Who are you dancing with? Like who's Danny? Where are
you going? What are you doing? I don't know anything
about this, Like who's this chick? Hello? Ah? Anna was right,
I knew it, nothing but a dog. Guys, now, like
(43:14):
we just need to talk about this later, Samantha, Like
we need to take this off line. You're ambushing me
here on this like this radio show. No, no, no, no,
we're doing right now. No, Like no, you stand baging me.
I mean I don't even know how you've got away
with this, Like Anna was right, like, no, we're doing
this now and actually we're done. You know you can
(43:37):
kiss my ass, say sam don't go, like, don't say
anything like you're gonna regret later. All right, this has
just been like a clear you guys haven't even been
together that long. What me regretted? You're the one. You're
the one who's regretting this now because I'm done with
your ass. You know you could just go off, you
can get all your from my house. I don't want
to see you again, to leave my number, get rid
(43:59):
of everything that you have connected with me, Sam, like,
don't don't? And also, who's Danny? Listen? Guys, can you
just like keep ata like you guys just like flat
ruined this relationship? Well are you ruin? Give me a second,
I'll talk with my girlfriend about this particular situation. Oh well,
(44:22):
who's Danny? Oh? Sorry, you on here. I'm not your
girlfriend anymore. I'm not your girlfriend, So kiss my as.
But first of all, what Danny? Who's this? What's this dancing?
It's not like it's not like that guy. It's like,
didn you just someone I work with? We went out
dancing the other night? Far it wasn't like a big deal.
We went out dancing with a co worker. And you're
trying to tell me there's nothing going on. Wait, of course,
(44:43):
like you what dancing? When? When? When did you go out?
You told me that you haven't been able to get
away from work all week, So that's another lie. So
he just lies on top of lies, top of lies. Listen,
what I do in my free time is my free
time in my business. Okay, Oh, I don't let you,
don't like, don't have your work and cook dinner for you,
(45:04):
don't like come home, clean the house, don't like take
care of you. And I can't go out and have
a little bit of fun and go dancing with a
co workers. Do you guys have an open relation? No,
we didn't. I mean, you know it nothing nothing. You
can have a open door and get your out if
you want. Now, listen to many we've we've done this before, right.
(45:28):
I know, I know you get mad at me. I
know I mess up. I'm not perfect, but you know,
don't don't push this too far. You'll come back about this.
It's gonna be great. Like who are you talking to?
Don't push your deep end? Kiss? I got enough? Yes,
get out? Wow. She hung up and he hung up.
(45:51):
They both I think she's done though it does sound
like man, I just can't stand it because they're gonna
cheat again, okay, and if they if they got through
it one time, they're gonna do it again. They know
the person's gonna allow it again. They'll allow them back
for sure. And then I like how you try to
put it on her like she's controlling yeah, yeah, you.
I gotta have some free time too, not to go
dance with other women though. That's the Cheers the Jewels
(46:15):
Show on demand Jebils Dirty Little Secret. Hello, Hey, what's up?
How are you go? Ahead? And do you need a minute? Um? No,
it's okay, okay, So tell us your dirty little secret. Okay,
(46:39):
So this is gonna be hard because the person I'm
talking about is actually getting groceries out of my trunk
right now. That's awkward. Who is that person? Oh that's funny,
O taking about your mom while she's right there. Love it.
So what is it that's a secret? Then? Quick? So
(47:02):
my mom was a alcoholic, like way back in the eighties, right,
and and I had been secretly watering down her alcohol
to get her sober. Oh okay, so she said she
used to be an alcoholic back in the day. So
she's still an alcoholic. M yes, Well, I mean you're
(47:23):
always an alcoholic, I guess if you're an alcoholic. But
so she still drinks, that's what I mean? Well she did.
She's currently not on an alcohol right now. Okay, But
here I can explain it a little better. Okay, So
she was an alcoholic back in the day, and my
sister and I we didn't know what kind of alcohol
(47:43):
she was, so she turned out to be a really
nasty drunk. What was her drink of choice? Vodka? Okay,
and so you water it down. Yeah, that she knows that.
She's just like, man, this stuff doesn't work at all.
Um kind of a combination. She's doing a lot better now,
(48:05):
and she was so bad with alcohol that she actually
lost like fifty pounds on Well if she was drinking,
I'm glad she's doing better for sure. Yeah. Yeah, it
was not. It was absolutely crazy. She even got so
black out drunk at one point, and so we because
she wasn't eating that she actually fell hit her head
and got a concussion and had to go to the yard.
(48:27):
Oh yeah, that's what I mean. Is like, if you're
an alcoholic, you're always an alcoholic. Yeah, And so my mom,
you know, she was always an acoholic. Both my parents were.
But um, I had to make a decision like I
don't know, ten years ago where you know, I just
had to exit out of her life because I couldn't.
I couldn't even give a respect when she was sober,
which was rare. So I'm like, I'm gonna go with
(48:48):
my kids. I'm gonna go. You have fun, right, I'm
just like, I'm not gonna tell her to quit drinking.
So she did quit drinking in order to you know,
be able to still see me and my kids. And
that was ten years ago and we don't talk to
this day. But her drink of choice was jack and coke,
and she would have it in two cups. So she
would have like the jack and like a smaller cup
and then diet pepsi with ice and like another cup,
(49:09):
and then she would like not mix it together, but
she would like mix it in her mouth and the
drink it. And then so there's always like it was weird.
There's always this little cup though, that was full of
Jack Daniels. And I would pour it out all the time.
I would pour it out to where there's like a
little tiny bit left, and like, I mean, so many
nights she would go back and pour so many times
and not realize, yeah I did one night like ten
(49:31):
times unless she finally caught on that night, like one night.
Oh my gosh. Yeah, Well, thank you for telling us,
you to her a little secret, sending our best wishes. Yeah, yeah,
she's so good, right, now and she's been sober for
like five months, so we have to hear that. That's
really good. All right, see you later, Thank you so much.
(49:51):
Have a good one. Cocktail would be nice right now.
I don't read much. I'm sad. It's a weird little
gearshift there on the Dirty Little Secret. But remember, if
you go to our instagram right now at the Jewel Show,
you can get that sound to use for your social media.
Yesterday we filmed a real and it had this sound
from Alex in the background when we were on A
(50:13):
Dirty Little Secret and it sound like the dude was
in the bathroom are So we put it on social
media and told people go grab it and make their
own videos. We've seen some hilarious videos. And then we
got to call this morning asking us to do that.
Every day, take some audio, put it on our Instagram
so that you can take it and remix it. And
this is the sound that our producer Brad chows for
(50:33):
today's I don't Read Much, I'm sad. Listen every morning
started the show and we'll play it again at the
end of the show. It sounds trendy, as we're calling
it sounds trendy because we're giving you sound to use
on your social media. So go grab this right now
at the Jewel Show. Follow all of us individually. I'm
at Jewel Fresh, I atrea on the radio, and I'm
a Christian Gray Snow. I don't read much. I'm sad
(50:57):
ben Jebil Show on demand. Hey David, Hey, Hey, did
you see Will Smith smack Chris Rock at the Oscars
the other night? Yes? They did. I have a question
for you. What would you rather do right now? Play
against English Evan in the game of trivia? In our
game Beat the brit or just come down to the
studio and smack him one time both yeah, and then
(51:26):
smack him. At least the title actually means something now
getting again, congratulations David. You get to play Beat the
brit and then come down and smack him when you're done. Yeah,
I don't like what you loved. Beat the brit the
only American game show with the English guy answering trivia
questions with a weird German Dancy intro to start the
whole thing off, and David's playing English seven today. We're
(51:48):
gonna send English Evan out of the studio. David, the
game is played like this. You got thirty seconds, answer
as many questions as possible. If you don't know when,
just say passed and English haven't asked to beat you
outright to win? Okay? Serious though, Also if you show
to the studio one smack and then you just leave
as hard as you can, let us know. I'll let
you in the front door in one smack and then
(52:09):
you can you can bounce all right and everything. Okay,
here you go and then yeah, so good luck to
day because the category is Bravo TV. Bravo TV is
the category. All right, David, your time starts now? Where
was the original Housewives location filmed? Uh? New York? What
(52:33):
show follows the life of yachting? Uh? Below deck? What
show follows the staff of a restaurant in West Hollywood? Uh?
Restaurant in world worldwide? How many different series of rural
Housewives are there? All? Right? Time is up. It doesn't
(52:59):
really matter how you did, though, because no matter what
you win the grand prize coming down to the station
and smacking as a propavan, there's zero percent chance of
Evan's gonna get So David real quick before I go
seven tries to answer those questions, what's something that you
would like the universe to know about you. I own
(53:19):
a pet duck. What, Yeah, I have a pet muscovie duck.
What's your duck's name? Um, Shucky Ducky after the comedian
Chucky Ducky Hucky time. Can you please don't love that? Yeah?
Send us a picture of Shucky Ducky. That's amazing. You
already won, all right, you are living in an amazing
(53:41):
life right now. You have a duck and you get
to come down here and slap English even one time.
Here we go, Here we go. The category is probo TV.
Good luck, good luck English? Even your time starts now?
(54:02):
Where was the original Real Housewives location film? Orange County?
What show follows the life of yachting? Why should follow
the staff of a restaurant in West Hollywood? Um? The
staff is worldwide? How many different series of Real Housewives
are there? Fifteen? What year did the Real Housewives start?
(54:26):
Twin two thousand and five? True or False Cash Cab
is made by BravoTV. True a shock over here because
he got some of them right, really lotterate and then
the last one of the fifty fifty, Well, let's find out.
Let's go to the scoreboard and see what the score
was officially I just don't even know what English having said.
(54:48):
I tuned out after Iceberg, Iceberg, Shakus, Truckers the show,
But you said Iceberg Shokus anyway, board, our score board,
our executive producer, Brad all Right, it's an out outright
(55:11):
win for Evan. He technically got two correct and David
got one. I'm surprised it was fine. He got a
true or false friend? Right, he didn't know. I didn't know.
He didn't know that one. You lost to the brit
which gives you even more fire behind that smack that's coming.
Still win you, Still congratulations. Let's go over the answers.
(55:33):
Where was the original Housewives location filmed in Orange County? Yes?
What show follows a life of yachting? He got this
one and it was below deck? What show follows the
staff of restaurant in West Hollywood? Vanderpump rules? Yep? Worldwide?
How many different series of rural Housewives are there? Thirty two?
Oh wow? Yeah? What year did the Royal Housewives start?
Twousand and six? And then true or falls? Which Evan
(55:53):
didn't know this one, but he got right. Cash Cab
is made by Bravo TV. I used to watch. You
didn't know if it was Brabo or the real thing
in the corner would show up promos? Do you want
me to stock you too? Alright, everybody gets a smack
English seven today. The thing is, I actually believe that
I don't want to hurt me. All right, congratulations for
not winning Beat the Brick. Anyways, I'll still see you
(56:16):
some cool swags, so keep a lookout in your bilbox
because they're getta envelo up lipped and sealed by me personally.
Who I like that? Until Chucky Bucky We say, hey,
let's play Beat the brid every single Tuesday and Thursday
at this time, so tune in next time? Would we be?
Did Jebel show on demand
Then Jubel show on demand. They're more doors or wheels
in the world? Should pineapple be on pizza? Is it
Yanni or Laurel? Those are just a few examples of
some of the world's biggest arguments that social media has
been able to solve. And there's a new ridiculous argument
that's going viral on social right now. Why don't we
tell you what it is and then argue about it
(00:20):
a little bit? Okay, Becky, what's up? Thank you guys
so much for putting this sound up on Instagram. I
posted something with it yesterday and it was hilarious. You're
talking about this, are you? Are you? Yes? Would you
use the sound for so? I used it for my dog.
(00:44):
Did you zoom in on the face while your dog
was giving you that shameful look that dogs do when
they're going to the bathroom. They always look like, man,
I can't looking at me. In the background, that look like,
don't even look at me, look at me? It was
It was perfect. It was funny Ivan to do with
this cat oh when she's upstairs? Didn't here's the show yesterday?
(01:06):
This happened in a dirty little secret? Are you so?
Every time we picked that audio. We did a reel
with it, and then we told everybody, hey, you should
go grab that and use it for your own reels.
It's ridiculous, and you did, Becky. You guys should do
that every day. It's hilarious. That's actually a good idea
that producer Christian jumping in here. I think that is
(01:28):
a fantastic idea. I mean, we have all this random
sound that I can play on the computer in front
of me from the show. I hear, Wow, that's just
a sound clip we have. We have a ton of
this stuff, but you never know what you're gonna get
because it's wackis doesn't sound clip off the air. It
(01:48):
was in the middle of a rant. I think when
I did that, oh gosh, but yeah, that's Alex. What
other sound I'm given us some thought and I'd like
to find a Giraffe said it before, and I still
stands true today. If you got a draft bringing down
the studio, I want to fight it. I'm blacked out.
Choke him out, choke him out. Bennett is dying from
(02:13):
the fact that Bennett, one of our producers, is laughing
when Alexa had choke out the draft. Now I'm thinking
about choking out a draft. That's hilarious. There's so much snack.
I know, well, I know that's why you said it.
I thought it was I thought it was funny when
you said it, But now I'm really picturing it. Where
is you effectively choke out a draft? Anyway? That could
be taken as a clip every single day at this time.
(02:36):
Listen and we will give you some audio that you
can use for your social media. Sounds trendy, that's all
we should name it. Oh whoa, that's a name. We
got a genius in the room. That's a great name.
Sounds trendy. Sounds trendy. That's pretty perfect. That is perfect, man,
that's amazing. You know Alex and ar Murdy. If you
(02:56):
didn't know that, I have to tell you that. If
you're a new listener, if you already knew that, sorry
for saying it again. But Alex and I are married,
And how cool is that? Babe? You literally all because
of this are are and our listeners using it in
their social media. Now, we came up with a whole
new segment called Sounds Trendy all because of you yelling
(03:16):
at a dude for pooping. You're welco I'm proud of you.
I'm proud to be your husband. Name Conic and it's
called sounds trendy. We need some audio for Hey the Hop. Yeah,
I got it, Oh, exactive producer bread. I found the
one we could use for today. I think this is
going to be fantastic, and I think we're all going
to look like fools. What else is now here? You going? Ready?
(03:39):
I don't read much. I'm sad. What was I talking about?
I don't know. I never actually said that out loud.
I say it to my head all the time. Okay,
so we will put a video. Think about that. How
(04:01):
many things you could use with that? Anything that you
messed up, that you should have run directions on anything.
That's exactly what I was thinking when I pulled this audio,
because I had just had to build some I keya
furniture and I was like, I think I'm going to
do a picture of the furniture, and then I don't
read much a picture of it, and I'm sad. That's
options are limitless. Things to not say on a first date.
(04:22):
I don't read much. I'm sad. Don't don't say that. Well,
I mean, this was my first appointment with my therapist
pretty much, I don't read much. I'm sad. Tell me
where that both of those things start. Why did your
therapist talk to you about reading? Producer Benepoppin? And what
(04:44):
about when your boss they send like a really lengthy
email and they're like, yo, did you read? I don't
read much? I'm sad. All right, Well, we're gonna post
our version of this and put it up on thet
the Jewel Show Instagram. I'll put it up on mine too,
At Jewel Friend, I'll put up on mind too. I'm
at that dres I'll put it up on mine too,
I'm at another radio put I don't really much out
(05:07):
go to our instagram, save it and then use it
and if you use a good one, we'll re share it.
Let's get a viral, let's get l let's do it.
Every single you didn't say the thing you didn't tell
us a viral question that you're going to that's right,
and started off with the internet questions about it. People
are arguing about what kind of bread is the best.
People are arguing about bread white and bread's the best?
(05:30):
Why the second best? Sour dose number one? But we
don't have time to argue about it you show on demand.
It's another Jubile phone frame mornings. Hello, Hi, how are you?
This is Pete Eakins calling from doggie daycare. I was
(05:51):
looking for Renee. Who is she? Hi? Renee? How are you?
I'm fine? How's my baby going? Oh? You're talking about
your dog? Spot? Yes? Good? You do know his name.
I'm thankful at least of that. I'm not getting it.
But anyway, what's going on? And wethining? Okay, what's the bot? Oh? Yes,
(06:13):
and I should know. I like the name Spot. That's
really cool. It's kind of a Retroe vintage sort of
name for a dog. And we just love his personality.
Down here, we're having a great time watching him. I'm
missing him so much. Yeah. Sure, I bet you are
missing him a whole lot. Huh. While you're out there
on vacation, probably on the beach or something, having funed,
drop your dog off and let him stay here and
(06:35):
then forget all about him. Is that what we're doing? No? Exactly,
I mean, isn't it what you guys do? I dropped
him off where I thought he would. They have done
this before, So is it a problem? Well? I well,
I you know what it is. I'm gonna go ahead
and say it. Yet, it's a little bit of a
problem for me, problem for you, because obviously I can
(06:57):
tell how involved you are so well, if it's involved
in my dog, I need to know exactly what's going
on here. You've done to alarm me at this point.
M m oh, I'm sorry you finished? You finished? Yeah?
What I was saying was that we here at Doggie Daycare,
we care about every single pet that we get in here,
(07:19):
and personally, I do call people from time to time
when I see a neglectful pet owner just to go
neglectful pet owner? Mmmm? Yeah, what do you mean about that?
I think you know what I'm talking about. Let me,
I'll be on my way to come and get him
very very soon. We're not going to play this any
Matt All is involved as I am with him. Fool
(07:40):
you to tell me I'm a negletful pet owner. Have
you ever been to my house to see how I'm
taking care of Have you e even have a fool
as to how his environment is? Rue? Yeah, I don't
give a about all this. I'm getting ready to come
down here and give my pet. That's it. I'm done.
I'm done with you. M Yeah, I'm talking about the
social media posts. Social media post makes me a neglestive
(08:03):
cut owner. Oh no, I'm not talking about yours. I'm
talking about the ones that we've posted on our Instagram.
Since your dog has been staying here, I've noticed I
don't care about Instagram. I don't use Instagram. So what
does sistagram have to do with my dog? You made
a couple of posts on my dog and he looked
at neglestful. Oh well, we did a couple of posts. Yeah,
and your dog was in the background and a few
of them. And I went through the likes and look
(08:25):
who was missing. Look who didn't like any of those
posts I'm talking about you. Wait a minute, Wait a minute,
So if you're time to tell me that my dog
indicated that he did not he was unhappy with me
because I didn't like a social media poem, Well he
didn't so much say it, I could tell. I could
just tell. It. Sounds so crazy to me. You sound
(08:46):
crazy to even listen. So you know what for? You
ask my dog is he ready for me to come
pit his st because I am or my way? And
while you add it, you just get your boss and
let your boss know that I prepare to meet them,
and I'm gonna call the lawyer or you because I
can't believe this. Wou phonell you're gonna call me about
a social media post that my dog is saying it
doesn't even make Well, you wouldn't even know about it
because he didn't like it. Probably well, no, you probably
(09:08):
saw it, probably didn't like and I would never like it.
Oh you're still going okay mmmm mmmm that that thing
that you're doing is really starting to irritate the crap
out of me. Are you gathering what I'm saying to you?
Or is it getting you the wrong person? I'm coming
(09:29):
to my way down there. You never have to worry
about it again. I'm coming down there whip some This
will never happen to the next person. You don't have
to worry about that. Well, then I'll let you know
that your sister set you up for a prank phone call,
because this is actually Jewel from the Jewel Show doing
a phone prank on you. You're your sister. She said
that you're out of town and you're like a real
(09:51):
protective of your dog and that you hate social media
and you want to be in a mess with you.
Oh the she's trying to raise my person. You wait
till I see her. She's got a dog for all.
Oh my god, I can't believe it. Did Jebel show
on demand first day follow up. I'm shocked that the
dude on the phone today for a first date follow
(10:12):
up isn't getting a call back. You know why? Why
because he's got business cards. And any guy that has
business cards is definitely a catch, in my opinion, the
sign of a great man. Yes, it is Nat. How
are you? I'm doing good? Thank you for having me. Yeah,
thanks for your email. Your email said that you met
the girl you want to call today because you slid
(10:33):
her your business card. Yep, and she slid me hers. No, what,
she has a business card too? First question, how many
do you have at once? Don't keep five on me
at all times. If I'm running low at the end
of night iveryload every morning, I've got him with undeed him?
All right, Well, tell us a little bit about the
woman that you slid the business card too. How the
whole thing go down? All right? So I was mentioning
(10:55):
that delivery to where she worked, and what do you do?
I worked in the deer industry. Okay, so you're making
a beer delivery. Yeah, yeah, I was. She was working
at this bar, one of those strangs of choice where
I met a girl at the bar, but it was,
you know, before the bar was officially open. So it's
your story than it sounds. Yeah. Okay, so you dropped
(11:15):
off some beer and then you just lingered about awkwardly
hoping that you could talk to her more. It wasn't
really awkward. You know, she kind of started chatting me up.
I was chatting her up back, and you know, it
was one of those situations where the time gets away
from you. I realized, oh, I'm gonna be wildly late
to my next delivery, and your boss didn't understand that
you can call your boss and be like, sorry, boss,
(11:36):
i'm a little late on my delivery is today. But
I was handing out my business card to a hot lady. Yeah,
so I gave her my business card before I left, thinking,
you know, she's nice. So we seemed to be hitting
it off, and she gave me her business card back,
so I thought, Okay, this is obviously got to go down.
Yeah for sure. I mean the next step after business
cards is marriage. Well, I'm a little slower pace than that.
(12:00):
So I started with testing and she tested back. Yeah,
so I thought everything was going great. You know, we
were started off as kind of friendly. Then it got
a little flirty, little hot and heavy. So fine, hot
and heavy for me. Yeah, you know, she was throwing
some emojis in there, she was sending me some memes.
It was getting a little a little spicy. That is,
hot and heavy, Okay, were cold and light? I'm not sure,
(12:23):
I'm not sure. So it was the eggplant. Oh yeah,
So did you guys actually go out on a date
or were you just texting back and forth and that's
all that happened. Well, this is why I'm calling you, guys.
I'm hoping you didn't step it in for me. So
the next week I figured I would see her in
person a day and when I made the delivery and
I could ask her out in person. I thought that
would be a better gesture. But when I show up
(12:46):
to her place of work, it's somebody else taking the
delivery for me. And yeah, so you know, the next
day I tested her saying ay, sorry I missed you,
and then nothing. I've ghosted ever since. Well, so do
you think that she on purpose wasn't there. Maybe she
saw you coming in the door and was like, oh
my god, nope, this guy. Yeah, that sounds very familiar. Yeah,
(13:09):
I'm just confused, as I was. I say, you know,
emojis were flying. No, we're not confused at all. And
also didn't answer that question. I know it's an uncomfortable
question to think about, but do you think that maybe
she saw you coming and was like, I'm gonna hid
in the back and send someone else gonna come there. Honestly,
I think that's probably what happened. That's both of you
(13:30):
to admit that. At least you know he took the
first step. Well he's well, here's why, I think, because
you know, in our industry, you kind of hanged around afterwards,
you trying to mess around with some people. And I
don't know, I think maybe she has a boyfriend or something.
Maybe it's started off it's just sort of like fans,
it's flirting, and then when she realized, oh I'm going
to be seeing him in person again more often, maybe
this isn't such a good idea. So that's what I'm thinking.
(13:53):
I just want to make sure that I didn't do
anything inappropriated. Okay, So you think that she might have
a boyfriend. That's the problem. That's the reason he's not
texting you back and also hiding from you in a
storage room. I mean, that's a situation. I'm cool with it,
you know, I understand. I just want to, you know,
make sure that we're on good terms. We have to
see each other to get awkward. Yeah, especially since you
have to see her for work and drop off to
(14:14):
deliveries and stuff. You know, Yeah, and everyone's on. I'll
show up with a shirt that's ripped almost off and
be like, oh man, I don't know what happened last
Celebt almost took my whole shirt off. I wouldn't normally business,
but here's my business card again if you want it,
all right, well, we'll play a song, come back, and
then call her and get your first aid follow up. Okay,
I appreciate that. All right, hang on, it's a jewel show.
(14:35):
Excuse me, somebody order some beer? Alex role play with
me here? Excuse me? Did somebody order a heavy creative
beer that I'm holding on my shoulder while my bicep ripples. Um?
Was that your bar? Yeah? Guess what what? I'm the
(15:00):
delivery guy and here's the beer. Luckily, I have these
huge muscles to carry heavy things. Would you lack a
business card? Oh all right, well here's the beer, and
I'll get back in my delivery chuck and make my
way home right in the middle of a first day
follow up. If you just joined us, the reason that
(15:22):
I did that roleplay wasn't just for fun. It's because
that's exactly what happened when the dude who's on the
phone for a first day fall up today met the
girl that he wants to call Nat. Is that pretty accurate.
That's exactly how it went down. It's like I was listening,
just to refresh your memory real quick. Nat is on
the phone. He delivers beer, and he was making a
delivery to a bar where he met a girl named Tara.
(15:42):
They exchanged business cards, they texted back and forth playfully.
He said that she was very flirty, and then the
next time he showed up to the bar, he was
going to ask her out because he wanted to be
a gentleman and do it in person, but she wasn't there,
and she also hasn't answered any of his text messages after,
so he thinks that maybe she saw him coming didn't
want to deal with him, had someone else go up
there take the delivery, and then she just hasn't been responding,
(16:05):
and he's wondering if he did something wrong, especially exactly
what I'm saying. All right, Well, I'm going to dial
her phone of it right now and see if we
can figure out what happened. Here we go, Hello him,
I speak to Tara. Please. This is hey Tara. How
(16:25):
are you? This is jew Bil from the jew Bil Show. Oh,
what can I do for you? That is a good question, Tara. First,
let me introduce you to who is on the phone
right now. It's me. My name is Jewbill, I host
the show Hi Awsome with Me. Is Mahata's wife Alex
Fresh Hey, Hi. Oh a family affair okay? Yeah? And
English Evan. Hi. He's not related to us. It's a
(16:48):
true family affair though, Yeah it is. Okay, Hi. What
what are you guys calling me for? Because we do
a segment on our show called the First Date follow Up.
What that is where if you go out on a
date with someone and then ghost them, they can email
us to get you on the phone and find out why.
So we got an email from a guy named Nat
(17:08):
he's a big, buff delivery guy, very tan, wears tight shirts.
Is that an accurate way to describe him? That is
not what he looks like at all. But yes, you
remember that. Okay, I said this all delivery guy in
my head. Anyway, do you remember when he slipped you
his business card? Yes, there was a business card exchange. Yeah,
(17:34):
we're old school. Um, so he emailed you guys to
call me because he said that you guys, you know,
initially met exchange business cards and then you were texting
hot and heavy. He said it was very flirty and
he wanted to ask you out. But the next time
he showed up to your bar to drop off some beer,
you weren't there. Also, you don't responded to any of
his text messages. Is there a reason why that's not
(17:56):
a very professional? Um? I mean it's really nothing. He's
lovely and really that was that's such a verbal pat
on the head. But he's just yeah, yeah, bless his heart.
He's really great. Um. Honestly, he really is nice and
(18:20):
we've got along. Well, it's just that, Um, it's usually
the same distributor that hits the same bars really close
to like my bar. So what usually when you're kind
of flirting or messing around with people in the industry,
especially the sales reps. There's always a chance that you're
gonna be hooking up with a person who is hooked
(18:43):
up with other people. You know, it can get a
little messy, and I like to keep a clean bar,
so so you don't want that down. Basically, you don't
want to like start dating him and then it just
be ancestral with all of the beer people that you know.
That's smart. Yeah, that is smart. Thank you for being honest.
I mean, that's a that's a valid reason not to
(19:05):
want to date someone that you kind of work with,
because it does cause a lot of problems for people,
and most people don't think that far ahead. Obviously Nat
doesn't think that far ahead because he still wants to
date you. And guess what, Yeah, Nat is actually on
the other line. I wants to talk to you. Oh what, Sarah, Hi,
(19:26):
Hi Nat? How are you pretty good? So this is
a more awkward than I thought it would be. Yeah. Yeah,
he was worried, and I was worried that he had
a boyfriend. Oh oh no, I don't have a boyfriend.
I just you know, don't want to date you. Oh yeah, sorry,
(19:48):
I didn't mean for it to I didn't mean for
it to come off a little harsh. I just meant,
you know, did you just hear what I said on
the call? Yeah? No, I mean that totally. It made sense. Yeah,
I'm just, you know, a little bit confused because we
were definitely flirting. But then I guess it just kind
of stopped. So suddenly I thought you were cool hooking
up like other folks in the industry? Were other folks
(20:12):
in the industry? How many people you hooked up with? Nat? Yeah,
this is exactly what I'm talking about. See how many?
How many have you hooked up with? Yeah? I'm not
gonna go ahead and say that. Come on, you're you
made this. You made this whole thing about the radio,
about calling me on the radio. So how many in
(20:33):
the you know, metro downtown area bars have you hooked
up with? Um? Yeah, yeah, I'm not gonna give you
a number, but I'll say it's a couple. A couple,
don't believe Yeah, it sounds like a low ball. Yeah, well,
let me throw it back at U Kara. How many
(20:54):
have you hooked up with? Is just turning into dirty? Well?
You know it only took one for me to learn
my lesson. That's that's why we're here where we are. Well,
I'm a slow learner. What can I say? Oh, okay,
so you're getting around the whole barty industry man. Yeah,
(21:16):
but look, I'm not just like some weird man float.
You know. I really feel like there's something special here
and I want to be able to look past the
work stuff and take you out on an actual date. That. Yeah,
that was pretty sweet there terrible, Well, that was very lovely.
(21:36):
Let me ask officially before you do that, would you
like to go out with that on another date? We
will pay for it. Um, Well, you know what he
said was what he said was really sweet and he
convinced me. And I think this is a pretty big
effort to call the radio and everything. I think he
deserves the chant. I'll give my chant. Yeah, the Jebel
(21:58):
Show on demand Jewels. Dirty Little Secret. Time for your
dirty little secret text in four one to six one.
If you have a dirty little secret, you can tell
us anything, literally, whatever you want. Because we don't even
ask what your name is. Everybody remains anonymous. So what's
your dirty little secret? Yeah? So my girlfriend and I
(22:19):
live together um, and she's been she's been like just
sneezing a lot. Um. It's that season, right right, I
mean that's what she was thinking, you know. But she
doesn't have seasonal allergies, and she she's never had summer allergies.
But um, coronavirus. No smell. She can smell, but her
(22:42):
nose is running and like she's got itchy eyes. Um.
And she's super allergic to dogs. But we do not
have a dog. Okay, So so my secret, I I
it's my fault. I know why she's sneezing because I
am a dog person, and I have been going to
the dog park near our place like a lot, like
(23:04):
every weekend out coming home from work. Yeah, you guys,
you don't go there with a friend who has a dog.
You go there to hang out like a treepy old man. Yeah,
I mean you bring your van with tinted windows. You
just go hang out a free candy. Yeah, so you
don't have a dog, but you just go there and chill.
I don't have a dog. I just like like wing
(23:25):
by and chill out and play with the dogs. And
I'm guess I'm bringing home like fur and dancing at me. Okay,
you like dogs that much. The dog moms and dads
at the dog park are like, where's your dog? Are
they not asking? Yeah? So yeah, Like the first couple
of times I would go, you know, people would ask
me where my dog was, I was like, oh, I'm
(23:45):
just I'm just waiting for them going to meet me here.
But then I kept coming back, so I eventually confessed
to all of them when they ask, and like, my
girlfriend's super alergicy dogs, but I really love dogs and
so and they're they're actually happy because like you don't
have to play fetch with their dogs, like kind of
give me the toys? They ask. Why. Yeah, Well, I
(24:08):
mean I think they get I mean they're all like
dog lovers too, they get it. And I think they're
you know, happy that I'm happy. But it's like, I'm
sure some people are happy. You think it's weird. The
dogs are happy. They get a break from their dogs
where you're throwing them toys and stuff, so that everybody's happy.
This is a very it's a very innocent, happy, dirty
little secret. Also, I don't know why the thought of
someone without a dog going to the dog park just
(24:29):
to hang out and play with dogs. It's really creepy
to me. But it's totally innocent. Yeah, yeah, it's totally innocent.
But to everybody but my girlfriend. I mean, she's miserable
and I feel really bad. Should like change your clothes
and wash your hands when you get home, huh, like
before you even come in the house. Yeah, before you
know it, before you know she's gonna think you're cheating
(24:50):
on her because you're taking a change your clothes. You're
gone for a little while, you come back the next thing,
and no, I swear I'm not cheating. I'm just like,
I really like dogs. Yeah, I'm having a love affair
with all these dogs. Have you realized that? Pretty much
you are. You're acting as a dog like watch up,
(25:11):
but you're not getting paid at the moment. Oh yeah,
I should. I should start churching. I guess that'll give
you more of a reason to be there. Go on
the rover up and make some money. Okay, now we're
making some ways, make some cash. If you're gonna cheat
on your girlfriend with dogs, you might as well get
some You might as well get paid for it. Yeah,
there should at least be a little bit of cash
(25:33):
coming my way. It's just true, that's true. Well, thank
you for telling us your dirty little secret. Thank you.
The Jewels Show on Demand. Welcome to the Iron n
the Idiot News Network where idiots aren't Just in the news.
For Tuesday, March twenty two, I'm Jewel Fresh and you
have something in your body that isn't supposed to be there.
You'll hear the crazy discovery that scientists made about something
(25:55):
weird that's been put in our bodies. Coming up in
a second, but first, let's meet you. Wow. I'm Alex
Fresh and one it used to be major lead singer
in the nineties boy band got physical with a photographer recently.
I have the clip of it and the details coming
right up. I mean the Chevin and if you diet,
isn't that I'm not loving it? I'm that coming up
in my story. I'm Christian Graystone. I'm telling you about
(26:16):
the funeral home you do not want to send your
dead loved ones too. In my story that's coming up
today in my story before your first story of the
day in the Iron and the Adiant News networker Airport
the news, we have plastic in our blood? What scientists
in the Netherlands have just discovered that at least eighty
percent of the world has bits of plastic in their blood. Well,
humans are now recyclable. Evan, You've got to be full
(26:37):
of plastic because you do eat a lot of McDonald. Yeah.
I do the Iron and the Idiot News Network, where
idiots aren't just in the news, they report the news
for our next story the day. Let's send it on
over to Alex Fresh, who was on location with an
old boy band person, Nicholas Shay and his wife. They
were out in Beverly Hills over the weekend. Nick saw
somebody taking a picture of him from a car, so
(26:58):
he went over there and like started freaking out on
her and was like acting erotic and really weird. And
then he was seen walking into a hotel with two females,
Vanessa being one of them, Vanessa holding hands with another girl.
Never really has nothing to do the story, but I
just had to say that because though that was funny.
But this is Nicolas sche freaking out on the photographer.
Why are you saw a map for Collie? I'm a girl,
(27:19):
I'm just a Yeah, hit in the window, But why
are you hitting the window? I get the why are
you being so funny? Because why are you used to
be at the street. I'm a photographer. I'm looking for celebrities.
I thought you're a celebrity. Thought, I think you're drunk.
We're here. What boy band was he ninety eight degrees degrees?
She's like, I thought you were celebrities. Like, no, I'm Nicolas.
(27:42):
I haven't been one for a long she knew. What
would you be mad about that? He was like, I'm Nicola, Sha,
i haven't been relevant for like twenty five years and
I can still get a three. Yeah, that's I was
sending it back to you. This is the Iron and
the Idiot News Network, where idiots aren't just in the news.
For our next story of the day, let's in and
on over to English Evan, who is currently I'm with
(28:04):
a bizarre diet cult that lives without food and water. Recently, though,
the cult caught its leader eating Adam McDonald's son. Yeah,
it's amazing. The leader, he was seen leaving seven eleven
(28:24):
with a slurpy and a slur a hot dog and twinkies,
managed to convince his followers that everything was okay, and
then the next day they caught him leaving mcconalds. They
believe that you don't need anything in the way of
food or water. You only need the sun and the air.
(28:46):
That's amazing. It's like, you know, whenever a televangelist gets
cut with a prostitute or whatever, it's the same thing,
but with this guy, it's McDonald's and seven eleven. Look,
we all need a cheap day as all I have.
Ending it back to you, thank you very much for
that story. This is the I n the idiot who's
now where idiots aren't just in the news. For our
(29:06):
next story, the day, let's send it on over to
Christian Gray Snow, who is on location in Jonesboro, Arkansas,
where in a Jonesborough attorney has filed a lawsuit against
a Little Rock funeral Home after a man named Harold Lee.
He died back in twenty nineteen and requested to be
buried next to his parents, but his wife found out
that the funeral home cremated him instead of burying, which
(29:31):
happened to be strictly against his religious request because he
believes that he will not be a part of the
Second Rapture, the Coming of Christ if he's cremated and
his body is not here to be taken, so they
did not respect his wishes. They are now being sued
and they returned the five thousand dollars they were paid
in burial insurance and they have apologized for the extreme
(29:51):
mental and emotional put the wrong person in the wrong thing,
in the wrong pile. Can you imagine all and there's pile.
They just put them all at one place in divan up.
I don't even know that. We don't know. They could
be messing with ash. That's why someone's gonna get really
(30:13):
upset over this. Yeah, so yeah, that's all I have
sending it back to you. This is the end of
the Idiot News Network. You never send it back at
the end. This made you. You don't want to be canceled.
Let's let's cremate the I n N for the day.
It's such an insensitive story. Christian and the Indian News
(30:34):
Network where idiots aren't just in the news and programming.
Note from the I n ND, We're very sorry about
our roving reporter Christian Grace now for bringing up that
whole cremation fiasco. I'm going back to Florida and people
doing math and the reason that he did that was
because he's been in Florida doing maths. Very bad judgment.
We're sorry about that on the ISNND, but please join
(30:55):
us tomorrow same time for another hard hitting report. I
remember you follow the show on social media at the
Jewel Show. Follow all of us individually. I'm a Jewel
Fresh that I'm at Evan on the radio, and I'm
at Christians the Jewbil Show on demand. It's another Jewbil
phone Frameay mornings on that's twenties. Good afternoon. This is Ynette.
(31:22):
How can I help you? Hi, Lenette. My name is
Pete eakins Um. We've never met before. I'm actually in
the corporate office in human resources. How are you? Oh? Hi? Yeah? Good?
How are you? I'm not too bad? Thank you for asking. Listen,
do you have a moment I need to speak with
you about something? Of course, absolutely, you're not firing me
or anything, as long as that's not happening. Like I said,
(31:47):
I need to talk to you for just a minute, okay,
because I need to get some information from you about
a situation that happened recently. Okay, so great, Thank you
for being agreeable with that. I need to talk to
you about the lunch situation that's going on with you.
(32:09):
You know what I'm talking about. I'm not one hundred
percent sure. I think you have to clarify for me.
I'm talking about the fact that, well, there's been somebody
who's been stealing people's lunches in your building, and do
you know anything about this? Yeah, I already know that
you do, because I'm asking the question even though I
already knew that you do. So really don't need an
answer that question. I know that you know about this. Wait,
(32:33):
I'm sorry, I need some clarification here. Are you insinuating
that I had something to do with that, because I've
had my lunch too on a few times actually, and
I'm really upset about it. So yeah, I know you
are very upset about your lunch being stolen, so much
so that you decided to commit murder. Okay, what are
you talking about, Well, not murder, but almost murder. Okay,
(32:57):
you've completely lost me now, I don't understand what you're
talking about. You know, we here at corporation, we take
our employee safety very seriously. We like our employees to
be able to come into work and feel like they're
not going to be poisoned by a coworker. Absolutely, Well,
what are you talking about poisoning? You had your lunch
stolen and you plotted your revenge, and now Ted from
(33:20):
Sales is in the hospital. Sales is in the hospital.
What are you talking about? What's wrong with him? What
happened to him? Okay, come on, I wasn't born yesterday,
all right. I've been in HR for a long time.
This isn't the first attempted murder. I've seen what I
attempted murder. Okay, what are you talking about. I'm talking
about the fact that you planted peanuts in your lunch,
(33:42):
and you knew that Ted was allergic to peanuts, so
you put peanuts in your lunch knowing that he was
the one taking lunches, and then when he stole yours,
he would eat it and then would go into shock
and die from his peanut allergy. You knew that. So
you're trying to insinuate that I tried to kill my
own coworker for stealing a lunch, that I tried to
kill him. Oh okay, you know what. You're obviously out
(34:05):
of control and a risk. So I'm going to call
the police right now and have you removed from the
building and also arrested for attempted murder because I can't
do this anymore. You're obviously out of control, and I'm scared.
You stay and you talk to me. This is ridiculous. Okay,
now you're right down. You come right down to my
office right now. You have a face to face conversation
with me. I want to meet this person. I can't
do that. I'm scared now. I'm scared now. I mean
(34:27):
I'm gonna show up. If I show up to your office,
I know I'm gonna be stabed with a letter opener.
I'm not going to do that. I've been I've been
in this job a long time. I've been stabbed with
a letter opener five times. What is going on? Oh,
it's a prank phone call, that's what it is. It's
a prank phone call from HR No. This is actually
Jewel from The Jewel Show doing a phone prank on
you and your co worker Ted set you up. We
(34:51):
are you? Are you serious? Yes? He said that somebody
wh's been stealing your lunch you want to meet to
mess with you. Oh my god, I'm gonna kill him
for real. I'm gonna kill him. The Jebel Show on Demand,
It's time War of the Roses only on The Jewbil Show.
(35:13):
Amantha is on the phone today for a War of
the Roses to catch a cheater, and she thinks her
boyfriend of seven months, Damien, is cheating on her. Samantha,
thank you for your email. I hate they have to
come on the show like this. But why do you
think Damien is cheating? Well, because she's like completely crazy.
She yeah, I'm talking about my friend Anna. You know,
(35:34):
like she's totally crazy. Do you think that your friend
Anna is cheating with him? No, he said, Anna's crazy
because like she's my friend and she has a tendency
to like get really jealous of my relationships. So you know,
it doesn't matter if it's like, you know, a family
friend or a neighbor or you know, even if it's
(35:56):
romantic anybody. It's just like anybody else being in my life.
She just like she hates it and now she like
so super jealous. Huh okay, and wow, you think he shocked?
Like she doesn't soundsually that sounds like middle school, right, Ah, right,
she doesn't sound like a good friend. I don't know though,
because we started off talking about your boyfriend who you
(36:17):
think is cheating on you, Damien, but you just started
going in on this on this Uh Anna, Yeah, you
started talking about Anna. So does that have something to
do with Damien or she just texted you right before
he brought you on. You're like, I can't stand her. No, no, no,
it's because like the other night when when um, Damien
was out, like she she called me and she said
(36:37):
that she she had actually DMed him and was like
trying to get him, you know, to flirt with her.
So she she like said like he was flirting back
with her, and so afterwards I had to show me
the messages and and I told my boyfriend about it,
and he was like, oh, you know that bitch is crazy,
which true, but um, he said, you know, she probably
(36:58):
made up the messages and app and so like he's
totally denying it. You know, Okay, I'm really sure. I
mean what were these like they were just ex super
flirting messages like on his end or both. Well, yeah,
first Anna started flirting and he started flirting back, and
he went like really he really went in, So you know,
I'm getting really pissed. So so you so your friend
(37:21):
started flirting with him, he started flirting back, and then
your friend showed you the d M. Yeah, because she
said you know, you can't trust him. He's totally a flirt.
I wasn't really sure because, like I said, she's always
like jealous, but you've only known Damian for seven months. Yeah, yeah,
so I need to be sure because I can't just
go by with Anna saying yeah, I need to like
(37:43):
see what he says. Okay, he's always telling me no
you know, no, no, no, no, nothing's happening. You know
it's only you. But who do you trust more? I
mean I was going to ask that trust more because
you said your friend Anna has been doing this almost
since middle school, and then you have your boy friend
of seven months, so well, you know she she does
(38:05):
stuff like this because she's jealous. But you know, when
when it comes down the hard time, she's really there
for me. You know, she's always been there, you know,
when I needed her. But this jealousy thing is just
I can never tell if if it's really, you know,
something happening or if it's just her jealousy streak. So
all right, well, I mean definitely it sounds like something
(38:26):
weird happened with him dming your friend or your friend
damning him flirty first or whatever is going on. So
let's see if we can catch him. Is what grocery
store does he shot at? You know where here's a
rewards card members are oh, okay, all right, cool, So
we'll a call from there and we'll say that we
just upgraded our floral department and we want to send
some flowers to anybody. We want to offer him a
(38:47):
free bookay flowers to send anywhere in the world and
see if he sends them to you or to somebody else. Okay, okay, yeah,
that sounds good. Guys, thanks so much. I kind of
hope that you know it's not true, because then then
give me a reason to stay with him, because I
kind of I really like this guy and I'm kind
of getting fed up with Anna. So okay, I'm hoping
(39:08):
the best problem. All right, well, we'll play a song
come back, and then call him and c if he
is cheating in your roar the Roses to Catch a
Cheater next? All right, all right, okay, it's a jewel
show friend in the middle of war The Roses to
Catch a Cheater If you're just joining us. Samantha is
on the phone and she she thinks that her boyfriend
of seven months, Damien, is cheating on her all because
(39:28):
of a really terrible friend that she's had since junior
high school. Apparently, she has a friend named Anna, and
that friend send her some dms of Anna flirting with Damien,
who is if you're keeping up with the storyline here,
who is Samantha's boyfriend. And Samantha says that this friend
always tries to like ruin things for her because she
(39:49):
gets jealous. Also, though she does think that her boyfriend
was flirting back, and she's not sure if her friend
actually like made the dms like photoshop basically made him
in an app to like make her boyfriend look like
he was learning, or if he actually was. So we're
gonna call him right now and offer him some free
flowers that send to anybody in the world and see
(40:09):
if he sends them to his girlfriend Samantha who should
send them to, or Anna, and find out if those
dms are real or not, and then also find out
if he's cheating, right, not Ana or not somebody else
or somebody else or anybody, yeah, anybody other than Samantha.
That means he's cheating. All right, Samantha, you're ready to
call him? Yeah, let's do it. Okay? Hello, Hi, I
(40:38):
was looking for Damian. Yeah, that's him, Damien. How are you.
My name is Jahara and I'm calling from and your
Rewards member with us, and I have some exciting news. Yeah, okay,
just if you don't mind, just cut to him. I'm
in the middle of something. We are doing a promotion
right now where we're choosing three Lucky Rewards Card member
(41:00):
every month to receive thirty six red roses to send
to anybody they want in the entire world because we've
upgraded our floral department. Hopefully you come check it out.
But it's completely free. The roses will look like they
came from you. And congratulations you are one of the winners.
But I didn't enter a contest. Well you kind of did,
just by being a Rewards member. It's our way of
saying thank you for shopping. Let me, I'm sorry, man,
(41:23):
I just let me just kind of get this right. So,
because I shopped from you, guys, right, I'm already entered
into this contest and I randomly won free flowers to
go anywhere. Right, you can send them anywhere. Yeah, I
don't have to pay and I don't have to pay
for it. Right, you don't have to pay anything you
already did basically by shopping at the store. And yeah, no,
you don't have to pay anything, don't have to do anything.
(41:44):
I just need to get some information and then we'll
get these bad boys shipped out. Cool, all right, yeah man,
let's let's do it. Thank you sweet. Okay, Well, all
I will need from you is we already have your
contact info. You'll get an you'll get a email or
text message, whichever you selected on our thingy. You'll get
a message confirming all the details of this. But so
let's start with the name. Do you know who you
want to send them too? I know it's kind of
(42:05):
like a spur of the moment kind of thing. Cool.
Can you can you send them to Denny? And is
there anything that you want to write on a card
till old Denny? Yeah? Can you put um let's go
dancing again, and then wink weink, like either draw like
a winky face two of them, or like just write
wink out wink wink with a winky emoji. Okay, yeah, yeah,
(42:29):
I can do that for you. I also would like
to introduce you to your girlfriend, Samantha, who's on the phone.
You already know her, I'm sure what, Yeah, your girlfriend,
Samantha's on the phone, because this is actually the Jewel Show.
My name is Jewel Mind's Alex Bennett. And your girlfriend's
on the phone because she thought you might be cheating
(42:49):
on her. And she's probably curious about who Denny is?
Who are you dancing with? Like who's Danny? Where are
you going? What are you doing? I don't know anything
about this, Like who's this chick? Hello? Ah? Anna was right,
I knew it, nothing but a dog. Guys, now, like
(43:14):
we just need to talk about this later, Samantha, Like
we need to take this off line. You're ambushing me
here on this like this radio show. No, no, no, no,
we're doing right now. No, Like no, you stand baging me.
I mean I don't even know how you've got away
with this, Like Anna was right, like, no, we're doing
this now and actually we're done. You know you can
(43:37):
kiss my ass, say sam don't go, like, don't say
anything like you're gonna regret later. All right, this has
just been like a clear you guys haven't even been
together that long. What me regretted? You're the one. You're
the one who's regretting this now because I'm done with
your ass. You know you could just go off, you
can get all your from my house. I don't want
to see you again, to leave my number, get rid
(43:59):
of everything that you have connected with me, Sam, like,
don't don't? And also, who's Danny? Listen? Guys, can you
just like keep ata like you guys just like flat
ruined this relationship? Well are you ruin? Give me a second,
I'll talk with my girlfriend about this particular situation. Oh well,
(44:22):
who's Danny? Oh? Sorry, you on here. I'm not your
girlfriend anymore. I'm not your girlfriend, So kiss my as.
But first of all, what Danny? Who's this? What's this dancing?
It's not like it's not like that guy. It's like,
didn you just someone I work with? We went out
dancing the other night? Far it wasn't like a big deal.
We went out dancing with a co worker. And you're
trying to tell me there's nothing going on. Wait, of course,
(44:43):
like you what dancing? When? When? When did you go out?
You told me that you haven't been able to get
away from work all week, So that's another lie. So
he just lies on top of lies, top of lies. Listen,
what I do in my free time is my free
time in my business. Okay, Oh, I don't let you,
don't like, don't have your work and cook dinner for you,
(45:04):
don't like come home, clean the house, don't like take
care of you. And I can't go out and have
a little bit of fun and go dancing with a
co workers. Do you guys have an open relation? No,
we didn't. I mean, you know it nothing nothing. You
can have a open door and get your out if
you want. Now, listen to many we've we've done this before, right.
(45:28):
I know, I know you get mad at me. I
know I mess up. I'm not perfect, but you know,
don't don't push this too far. You'll come back about this.
It's gonna be great. Like who are you talking to?
Don't push your deep end? Kiss? I got enough? Yes,
get out? Wow. She hung up and he hung up.
(45:51):
They both I think she's done though it does sound
like man, I just can't stand it because they're gonna
cheat again, okay, and if they if they got through
it one time, they're gonna do it again. They know
the person's gonna allow it again. They'll allow them back
for sure. And then I like how you try to
put it on her like she's controlling yeah, yeah, you.
I gotta have some free time too, not to go
dance with other women though. That's the Cheers the Jewels
(46:15):
Show on demand Jebils Dirty Little Secret. Hello, Hey, what's up?
How are you go? Ahead? And do you need a minute? Um? No,
it's okay, okay, So tell us your dirty little secret. Okay,
(46:39):
So this is gonna be hard because the person I'm
talking about is actually getting groceries out of my trunk
right now. That's awkward. Who is that person? Oh that's funny,
O taking about your mom while she's right there. Love it.
So what is it that's a secret? Then? Quick? So
(47:02):
my mom was a alcoholic, like way back in the eighties, right,
and and I had been secretly watering down her alcohol
to get her sober. Oh okay, so she said she
used to be an alcoholic back in the day. So
she's still an alcoholic. M yes, Well, I mean you're
(47:23):
always an alcoholic, I guess if you're an alcoholic. But
so she still drinks, that's what I mean? Well she did.
She's currently not on an alcohol right now. Okay, But
here I can explain it a little better. Okay, So
she was an alcoholic back in the day, and my
sister and I we didn't know what kind of alcohol
(47:43):
she was, so she turned out to be a really
nasty drunk. What was her drink of choice? Vodka? Okay,
and so you water it down. Yeah, that she knows that.
She's just like, man, this stuff doesn't work at all.
Um kind of a combination. She's doing a lot better now,
(48:05):
and she was so bad with alcohol that she actually
lost like fifty pounds on Well if she was drinking,
I'm glad she's doing better for sure. Yeah. Yeah, it
was not. It was absolutely crazy. She even got so
black out drunk at one point, and so we because
she wasn't eating that she actually fell hit her head
and got a concussion and had to go to the yard.
(48:27):
Oh yeah, that's what I mean. Is like, if you're
an alcoholic, you're always an alcoholic. Yeah, And so my mom,
you know, she was always an acoholic. Both my parents were.
But um, I had to make a decision like I
don't know, ten years ago where you know, I just
had to exit out of her life because I couldn't.
I couldn't even give a respect when she was sober,
which was rare. So I'm like, I'm gonna go with
(48:48):
my kids. I'm gonna go. You have fun, right, I'm
just like, I'm not gonna tell her to quit drinking.
So she did quit drinking in order to you know,
be able to still see me and my kids. And
that was ten years ago and we don't talk to
this day. But her drink of choice was jack and coke,
and she would have it in two cups. So she
would have like the jack and like a smaller cup
and then diet pepsi with ice and like another cup,
(49:09):
and then she would like not mix it together, but
she would like mix it in her mouth and the
drink it. And then so there's always like it was weird.
There's always this little cup though, that was full of
Jack Daniels. And I would pour it out all the time.
I would pour it out to where there's like a
little tiny bit left, and like, I mean, so many
nights she would go back and pour so many times
and not realize, yeah I did one night like ten
(49:31):
times unless she finally caught on that night, like one night.
Oh my gosh. Yeah, Well, thank you for telling us,
you to her a little secret, sending our best wishes. Yeah, yeah,
she's so good, right, now and she's been sober for
like five months, so we have to hear that. That's
really good. All right, see you later, Thank you so much.
(49:51):
Have a good one. Cocktail would be nice right now.
I don't read much. I'm sad. It's a weird little
gearshift there on the Dirty Little Secret. But remember, if
you go to our instagram right now at the Jewel Show,
you can get that sound to use for your social media.
Yesterday we filmed a real and it had this sound
from Alex in the background when we were on A
(50:13):
Dirty Little Secret and it sound like the dude was
in the bathroom are So we put it on social
media and told people go grab it and make their
own videos. We've seen some hilarious videos. And then we
got to call this morning asking us to do that.
Every day, take some audio, put it on our Instagram
so that you can take it and remix it. And
this is the sound that our producer Brad chows for
(50:33):
today's I don't Read Much, I'm sad. Listen every morning
started the show and we'll play it again at the
end of the show. It sounds trendy, as we're calling
it sounds trendy because we're giving you sound to use
on your social media. So go grab this right now
at the Jewel Show. Follow all of us individually. I'm
at Jewel Fresh, I atrea on the radio, and I'm
a Christian Gray Snow. I don't read much. I'm sad
(50:57):
ben Jebil Show on demand. Hey David, Hey, Hey, did
you see Will Smith smack Chris Rock at the Oscars
the other night? Yes? They did. I have a question
for you. What would you rather do right now? Play
against English Evan in the game of trivia? In our
game Beat the brit or just come down to the
studio and smack him one time both yeah, and then
(51:26):
smack him. At least the title actually means something now
getting again, congratulations David. You get to play Beat the
brit and then come down and smack him when you're done. Yeah,
I don't like what you loved. Beat the brit the
only American game show with the English guy answering trivia
questions with a weird German Dancy intro to start the
whole thing off, and David's playing English seven today. We're
(51:48):
gonna send English Evan out of the studio. David, the
game is played like this. You got thirty seconds, answer
as many questions as possible. If you don't know when,
just say passed and English haven't asked to beat you
outright to win? Okay? Serious though, Also if you show
to the studio one smack and then you just leave
as hard as you can, let us know. I'll let
you in the front door in one smack and then
(52:09):
you can you can bounce all right and everything. Okay,
here you go and then yeah, so good luck to
day because the category is Bravo TV. Bravo TV is
the category. All right, David, your time starts now? Where
was the original Housewives location filmed? Uh? New York? What
(52:33):
show follows the life of yachting? Uh? Below deck? What
show follows the staff of a restaurant in West Hollywood? Uh?
Restaurant in world worldwide? How many different series of rural
Housewives are there? All? Right? Time is up. It doesn't
(52:59):
really matter how you did, though, because no matter what
you win the grand prize coming down to the station
and smacking as a propavan, there's zero percent chance of
Evan's gonna get So David real quick before I go
seven tries to answer those questions, what's something that you
would like the universe to know about you. I own
(53:19):
a pet duck. What, Yeah, I have a pet muscovie duck.
What's your duck's name? Um, Shucky Ducky after the comedian
Chucky Ducky Hucky time. Can you please don't love that? Yeah?
Send us a picture of Shucky Ducky. That's amazing. You
already won, all right, you are living in an amazing
(53:41):
life right now. You have a duck and you get
to come down here and slap English even one time.
Here we go, Here we go. The category is probo TV.
Good luck, good luck English? Even your time starts now?
(54:02):
Where was the original Real Housewives location film? Orange County?
What show follows the life of yachting? Why should follow
the staff of a restaurant in West Hollywood? Um? The
staff is worldwide? How many different series of Real Housewives
are there? Fifteen? What year did the Real Housewives start?
(54:26):
Twin two thousand and five? True or False Cash Cab
is made by BravoTV. True a shock over here because
he got some of them right, really lotterate and then
the last one of the fifty fifty, Well, let's find out.
Let's go to the scoreboard and see what the score
was officially I just don't even know what English having said.
(54:48):
I tuned out after Iceberg, Iceberg, Shakus, Truckers the show,
But you said Iceberg Shokus anyway, board, our score board,
our executive producer, Brad all Right, it's an out outright
(55:11):
win for Evan. He technically got two correct and David
got one. I'm surprised it was fine. He got a
true or false friend? Right, he didn't know. I didn't know.
He didn't know that one. You lost to the brit
which gives you even more fire behind that smack that's coming.
Still win you, Still congratulations. Let's go over the answers.
(55:33):
Where was the original Housewives location filmed in Orange County? Yes?
What show follows a life of yachting? He got this
one and it was below deck? What show follows the
staff of restaurant in West Hollywood? Vanderpump rules? Yep? Worldwide?
How many different series of rural Housewives are there? Thirty two?
Oh wow? Yeah? What year did the Royal Housewives start?
Twousand and six? And then true or falls? Which Evan
(55:53):
didn't know this one, but he got right. Cash Cab
is made by Bravo TV. I used to watch. You
didn't know if it was Brabo or the real thing
in the corner would show up promos? Do you want
me to stock you too? Alright, everybody gets a smack
English seven today. The thing is, I actually believe that
I don't want to hurt me. All right, congratulations for
not winning Beat the Brick. Anyways, I'll still see you
(56:16):
some cool swags, so keep a lookout in your bilbox
because they're getta envelo up lipped and sealed by me personally.
Who I like that? Until Chucky Bucky We say, hey,
let's play Beat the brid every single Tuesday and Thursday
at this time, so tune in next time? Would we be?
Did Jebel show on demand
Host
Jubal Fresh
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