The Laws of your Money with Ann-Margaret Episode 8

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The following is a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed. The following program is sponsored by New
York Priority Medical Care. Now it's time for the Laws
of Your Money, a weekly call in show with legal

(00:20):
tips to help you protect your money. Here's your host
and Margaret Caroza.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello, and welcome to the Laws of your Money. This
is a show dedicated to protecting you from the legal
and financial mayhem when it comes to personal finance. I
think there's nothing more important than protecting yourself legally, because

(00:47):
what does it matter how diligently we invest and save
if there's a greater than forty percent chance of losing
assets to a long term illness, an expensive divorce taxes.
This can be capital gains taxes, estate taxes, or lawsuits.

(01:10):
Do you know we are more likely to be involved
in a lawsuit with a former loved one than with
a stranger. I believe that we all have potential legal
landminds in our lives. Whether we're concerned about an elderly
relative losing their home to a nursing home, are we

(01:34):
in a second marriage thinking about the possibility of blended
family warfare. Later a special needs child or someone in
our lives who is a financial black hole. They spend
money like a drunken sailor and are asking you for
yet another loan. I'm asset protection attorney and Margaret Carosa

(02:00):
joined today again by my good friend Paul Sladgis. Welcome
back to the program. Paul, Good morning, Anne, Happy New Year.
Hope you had nice holidays.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
Everything's great, Thank you, Ann, Lovely.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I invite all of you to join our conversation if
you have a question commentary about the interaction between your
loved ones and your finances. Our call in number is
eight hundred three to one zero seven ten. Okay, it

(02:36):
is now January twelfth. Have you made any New Year's resolutions? Paul,
I'm putting you on the spot again.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
I'm going to organize my finances a little better and
organize my raising money for our Day in Peace day
concerts a.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Little better, Lovely, so that financial resolutions are at the
top of everyone's New Year's resolution lists. You know what,
The number one is health losing weight specifically, so we're
going to steer clear of that. But the financial resolutions

(03:23):
most of us statistically are starting out a little bit
behind the eight ball because we spend too much money
over the holidays, and we talked a little bit about
this in prior shows. I just think it's disgraceful how

(03:43):
the advertising industry praise upon our emotions. And my absolute
nightmare in this regard are the car commercials with the
big red ribbons on it, where the handsome husband gives
his beautiful wife a new car with a red ribbon

(04:07):
on it and makes everyone else feel, you know, less
than do you know that the average American spent one
thousand dollars on holiday gifts and decorations and for many
people they couldn't afford it. You know, it's really sad.

(04:30):
As the credit card bills are starting to roll in, and.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
Credit card bills, if you do not pay or pay
that minimum, we have to almost thirty percent.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
Yeah, actually it's a little bit more than that. I
got to notice from Bloomingdale's that the new interest rate
for a carried balance is thirty four point nine percent. Okay,
I don't know how that is legal, but yeah, if

(05:05):
you put that holiday spending on a credit card, I
would urge you, you know, return some of this nonsense.
If you can sell some of it, you know, without
offending any of my beloved friends and family who are
nice enough to give me gifts. You know, how many

(05:25):
scented candles and bars of soap do I need? Or
not to mention, throw pillows. This is just I don't know.
Something has to give. I told you what my sister
Laurie and I do with each other. We used to
give each other big gifts, and I was the one

(05:47):
I will be the hero here who said to her,
why are we doing this? Let's give each other the
best book that we read the prior year, you know
that we think have some residence with the other one.
And better still, you know, if we got it at
an estate sale and we spend you know, maybe a

(06:10):
dollar or two on the book, and that makes a
very lovely gift. So I think we really need to
endeavor not to spend as much money. So I encourage
folks look around the house. We want to organize our surroundings.

(06:34):
You know, that's another New Year's resolution. Well, we can
declutter and hopefully make a few bucks, and with that
money that we make pay down some of the debt,
even if it's just a very small debt. In the
amount of debt that we have, there's a psychological boost

(06:58):
to being in the right direction. I encourage all of
you to call in again. The number is eight hundred
three two one zero seventy ten. I believe we have
a caller, Rich. Welcome to the program.

Speaker 4 (07:19):
Oh hello, how are you so nice for you to
take my call?

Speaker 2 (07:23):
A pleasure?

Speaker 4 (07:23):
Happy New Year, Rich, Thank you. I love your show.
I started listening to it a couple of weeks ago
and I love it awesome.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
How can I help you?

Speaker 4 (07:34):
This is a little off the subject that you've been
talking about, but it is sort of an indirect relationship.
Is a I'm my mother's, my elderly mother's healthcare proxy,
and it looks to me like she's nearing the possibility
of maybe meeting a nursing home. Getting a little forgetful.

(07:55):
I should forgot my birthday, which you would never have
done before. Ever, since my father passed a couple of
years ago. Just showing you some signs that you can't
really quite take care of herself as a healthcare proxy,
am I allowed to make the decision to put her
in a nursing home?

Speaker 2 (08:15):
Wow? What's your mother's first name?

Speaker 4 (08:21):
Her name is Bella.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
Okay, Well, Fortunately for Bella, being named as the agent
on her health care proxy does not allow you to
unilaterally make a decision that she should be in a
nursing home. Obviously, I don't know anything about the specifics

(08:43):
of the situation. Maybe she needs to be in a
nursing home, maybe she doesn't. But you, as the named
healthcare proxy agent that has a pretty limited authorization, you
are allowed in a hospital setting in the state of

(09:04):
New York to make decisions for Bella in the event
that she cannot communicate. If she is lucid and she's
telling the medical provider that she wants a B and
C and you disagree with her, it's going to be

(09:25):
her decision that carries the day. So and this should
come as a relief to folks who are reluctant to
do advance directives. Whether that's a healthcare proxy, a living will,
a power of attorney, it does not mean that you
are giving up power. A healthcare proxy again allows me

(09:49):
to appoint you to be my agent to speak for
me in a hospital setting if I am unable to
do so. Rich how far away do you live from
your mother and how often do you see her.

Speaker 4 (10:08):
Well, I try to see her about once a week.
She lives about forty minutes away from me, and that's
a problem because a couple of times I've had to
drive out. Yeah, just take care of a problem. And
it really wasn't a problem. So it's yeah, okay, I'm
still working and all right.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
It sounds like this is a stressful situation for you.
What if you were to invite her to stay at
your home for a week or two and you could really,
you know, see what's going on a little bit more
concretely on a day to day basis.

Speaker 4 (10:50):
No, that would not do well with my home situation.
I don't think. I mean, I'd like to find her
some help, some help, you know, at least in the nursing.
I'll make you keep an eye on.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
Okay, I'm sorry, rich and I don't mean to be unsympathetic.
I am a mother of two sons, and I can't
help but see it from Belle's point of view, How
exactly is it not that convenient for your mother to
stay in your home for a week.

Speaker 4 (11:27):
Well, I don't know. She and my wife don't always
see ey'd I you know, I just I just don't
think that's going to be a possibility. So you're I'm
sort of looking forward to the future.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
It's your wife that you don't think would really want
her to be in your home.

Speaker 4 (11:51):
It just it just seems like that's not really gonna
be the answer.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
I can't sounds like a lovely girl rich but okay,
forgive me for that little aside. But moving ahead, looking
toward the future. I am not, as you know, I'm
an attorney. I'm not a medical professional, but I would
encourage you to assemble a team who can help you

(12:21):
and your mother navigate this situation. The overwhelming majority of
women prefer to be at home right and statistically, we
will all need help one day if we're lucky enough

(12:42):
to live long enough, and most often that help is
not necessarily medical in nature. It is custodial. I might
need help with the cranky functions of daily life, feeding, bathing, dressing, toileting.
If I have some good planning in advance, that care

(13:07):
can be provided in my own home. So I encourage
you to have a discussion with your mother and hopefully
get her buy in to assemble a geriatric care manager,
a social worker, her primary care physician, maybe consult with

(13:31):
a specialist, a geriatrician. If you're concerned about her memory.
The geriatrician, can you really do a full work up
and let you know if there's something to be concerned about.
But I would really encourage you in a vacuum to
explore the possibility of home care rather than nursing home care.

(13:59):
All right, So, Rich, again, forgive me for being a
little kurt with you earlier, but looking at it from
your mother's point of view, I really hope that you
will take a broader perspective and with the goal of
having her stay in her home. I mean, Paul, imagine

(14:20):
that we have a dementia related illness, we do have
a cognitive impairment. Am I going to be happier and
more comfortable in my own familiar surroundings before? Yeah? So Rich,
good luck with it, and please reach out to me,
email me, let me know how you're doing and if

(14:42):
I can help. My website is my Asset Protection Attorney
dot com. And Rich, are you in New York?

Speaker 4 (14:54):
I live on Long Island, okay?

Speaker 2 (14:57):
And your mother is also in New York?

Speaker 4 (15:00):
Yes, yes, all right.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
So without getting into the specifics of your situation, I
would encourage your mother and you to sit down with
me or another elder law attorney and talk about protecting
her home. You know, in New York State, we are
the last state in the United States not to have

(15:24):
a look back period for Medicaid home care. So your
mother likely has Medicare and Medicare Supplement, which do a
beautiful job of covering hospitalization, but when we leave a
hospital and go into rehab, they're only going to cover

(15:45):
one hundred days during that period of time. We want
to make sure that the home and most of the
non retirement assets are put into an asset protection traus,
and then we can apply for community Medicaid, which acts

(16:06):
as a third layer of care. Your mother will keep
her Medicare, keep her Medicare supplement, and then community Medicaid
can pay the person of her choosing to come in
the home and help her out a little bit, maybe
prepare some light meals, do a little lighthouse keeping. It's

(16:31):
a wonderful program. So again, rich, best of luck, and
thank you for reaching out.

Speaker 4 (16:39):
Thank you so much. You're giving me some food for thought, I.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Hope, So take care. Yeah, a lot to unpack there, Yeah,
I think you know, from an adult child's perspective, it
can be like the weight of the world is on
their shoulders. They're trying to juggle their household, their children,

(17:06):
and now they have you know, parents' needs. And far
too often I think it's a binary decision. You know,
is mom aok to be alone or is it time
to be in a nursing home. And I hope that
it's not that simple for many people because most of us,

(17:30):
as women, prefer to be at home. That being said,
I encourage everyone who's listening to do a healthcare proxy.
And again, your agent is not allowed to use that
healthcare proxy to quote unquote put you in a nursing home,

(17:51):
but you want to do a living will. On my website,
which is my Asset Protection Attorney dot com, I have
my own living will which says impertinent part in the
event that I require care, I wish for my care

(18:11):
to be provided in my own home unless that is
not possible. So, as women, the sobering reality is that
we are likely to be on our own one day.
That may be because we never married. If we are married,

(18:32):
we have an eighty percent chance of surviving our spouse.
So it's incumbent upon us. You know, when we talk
about a state planning and asset protection. Most people think
that we're, you know, planning for what happens to our
stuff at death, but if it is properly approached, we're

(18:56):
preparing for the care and feeding of our elves in
our later years. Do you know the fear of aging
is the number two fear out there? Did you know that? Poum?
I didn't know that, And I think it's because we're
worried that we're not going to call the shots anymore,

(19:18):
that we're just going to be sitting there and strangers
are going to be making decisions for us. And that
is true if we haven't put plans in place. You know,
I think about what if I lose my ability to
speak one day, I'm not going to be able to

(19:39):
ask for the things that I want. So maybe in
my living will, I should make a list of the
things I like to do, the music I like to hear,
the movies I really like, or the food I like
to eat. You know, if I forget the word for lasagna,
probably I'm probably still going to like what it tastes like.

(20:02):
So let's think a little bit more expansively and creatively.
What can the me of today do to protect the
me of the future.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
You know, let me. You know, I'm gonna be seventy six, So.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
You don't look at Paul, you honestly don't.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
But you know, I hear these statistics that I think
they raised it only a year, seventy six, seventy seven
for men and maybe eighty for women. You know, you
hear this general the mean average age of life span,
that is scary.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Well, let's let's not look at the mean average, which unfortunately,
I think was dragged down because of the horrible COVID numbers. Right,
let's look at the blue zone folks. Are you familiar
with the blue zones. That's a study that in various

(21:05):
areas of the world, Sardinia, areas of Japan, folks can
regularly live to over one hundred. So we're all actively
studying what they do and don't do. And I think
the Sardinian folks talked about this is in contradiction to

(21:26):
what the Surgeon General unfortunately just said last month that
alcohol in no amount is good for you. But in
Sardinia they're still crediting their wine with living to over
one hundred. So I'm going to choose to go with
that philosophy.

Speaker 3 (21:47):
You Sardinian. It's all good. Yeah, if you are unhappy,
you have a will and you've realized you're really unhappy
with one of your children, are you able to disen
I heard something about that.

Speaker 2 (22:02):
So yeah, we are allowed to disinherit anyone in our lives,
with one exception. You cannot totally disinherit your spouse in
any country or in any state. Rather, in the United States. Children,

(22:23):
on the other hand, we have no obligation to leave
them anything. So the best way to disinherit someone is
to not mention them in the document. You know, I
think it's an old wives tale, but I do see

(22:44):
some of my colleagues out there telling clients that the
best way to disinherit Johnny is to leave him five
dollars in the will. I think that serves as as
a catalyst for Johnny to become enraged and lawyer up

(23:07):
and give my other children a two year nightmare in court.
The better way to disinherit someone is to not mention
them in the will. And beyond that, we want to
avoid having a will in that situation. Whenever there's any

(23:31):
complexity within the family relationship, and by complexity, we can
have a second marriage and my new spouse hates my
adult children and vice versa. Or complexity can be that
I haven't spoken with a child since Thanksgiving of nineteen

(23:54):
ninety eight and they're not a part of my life anymore.
We needed to avoid probate, they mentioned.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
I think I still understand what probate is.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
You've heard the term. Everyone of us has heard the
term probate eight million times. We do a will, and
the natural question is why do I need to go
through probate if I have a will? And the answer is,
a will is not self activating. A will has to

(24:30):
go to court and the surrogate judge of the county
where you resided must physically examine this document, must check
to see that the staples weren't removed. Was it executed
under the supervision of an attorney. Now you know that

(24:53):
there are will kits out there. You can do it
on your own, but the law of the state of
New York, and this is not my fault. I am
no longer a legislator. I'm simply telling everyone what the
law is in New York State. A will drafted under
the supervision of an attorney is presumed to be legitimate.

(25:19):
What is the converse of that statement. It's that a
DIY will is not presumed to be legitimate, so it's
going to be hung up in court for a much
longer period of time. But even a beautiful will that's
done by a competent attorney must go through probate, where

(25:41):
the pendency of that administration must be open for a
period of seven months to give creditors an opportunity to
appear and raise objections. I'm doing this for more than
twenty years. I've never seen a probate go as quickly
as seven months. So better to do a trust. This

(26:06):
should be a properly drafted trust where I retain the
ability to make changes during life. But if I want
to disinherit a child, I simply do not name them
as a beneficiary on the trust, and upon my death,
the assets that are in the trust go automatically without

(26:29):
strangers being involved. The assets and the trust go to
the beneficiaries with all of the capital gains eliminated, so
no probate, no taxes, and if that trust had been
properly drafted, it will also protect the assets from long

(26:51):
term care claims. Yeah, So we definitely want to avoid probate,
and we can do that on liquid ass sets, on iras,
on insurance policies by naming beneficiaries. But if we have
real estate or real estate owned by LLCs or corporations,

(27:12):
we want to make sure that we also have a
trust to avoid probate. Paul, did you were about to
say something?

Speaker 3 (27:20):
I was going to ask a question because I'm wondering
about you know, you have an elder parent and I
see on TV a lot of ads for reverse mortgages.
Is that something that can benefit me?

Speaker 2 (27:32):
Oh, let's you know what, we don't have. This is
a huge topic, and I have very strong feelings about
reverse mortgages, and I encourage folks to tune in next week.
Let's talk about reverse mortgages next week. There are pitfalls
with them, but they're also not the worst thing in

(27:55):
the world, depending upon your particular situation. So, like everything
in life, it's not either black and white. It's a
little bit more nuanced, Paul. You ever hear of a
guy named Charles Carrault.

Speaker 3 (28:11):
Yes, I've worked to see the.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
Salon g Okay, did you know this is a matter
of public record? And he was not my client, so
I'm not violating any confidentiality. He had a special friend
over the course of many years, and he left her
property in Montana, and he never thought that his family

(28:36):
in New York would know about it because he simply
put her on the deed. He did a life estate
in Montana. The problem was his will. In his will
in New York named his wife and children as the beneficiaries.
And next week we will talk about the explosion that ensued.

(29:01):
If you have a question about any of these issues,
please reach out to me at my asset Protection Attorney
dot com and I hope you tune in next week.
Thanks for being with us, Paul.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
Okay, Thank you.

Speaker 4 (29:17):
Ann.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
The preceding program was sponsored by New York Priority Medical Care.
The preceding was a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed.