The Laws of your Money with Ann-Margaret Episode 35

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The following is a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed. The following program is sponsored by New
York Priority Medical Care. Now it's time for the Laws
of Your Money, a weekly call in show with legal
tips to help you protect your money. Here's your host

(00:23):
and Margaret Caroza.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hello, and welcome to the Laws of your Money. This
is a program dedicated to protecting you from legal and
financial mayhem. When it comes to personal finance, I believe
the single most important factor is protecting ourselves legally, because

(00:50):
what does it matter how diligently I save and how
brilliantly I invest if there is a greater than forty
percent chance of losing assets to a long term illness,
an expensive divorce taxes. This can be capital gains taxes,

(01:10):
state taxes, not to mention ordinary lawsuits. We know that
we're living in a very litigious society, but it comes
as a surprise that we are statistically more likely to
be involved in a legal dust up with a former

(01:33):
loved one than with a stranger. It's said in criminal
law that ignorance of the law is no excuse when
it comes to ordinary liability. Ignorance of the law can
get you steamrolled. I am asset protection attorney and Margaret

(01:54):
Carosa and I'm joined today. I'm very excited in studio.
My special guest today is Attorney Dana Friedman. Welcome to
the program, Good morning in Thank you so much for
being here. I invited you here not so much in
your capacity as an attorney, although you're a wonderful matrimonial

(02:19):
and civil litigation attorney. I invited you here as a
general observer of human behavior and a fellow parent to
a gen Z person. So we can talk a little
bit about loved ones and money walking the same road

(02:42):
a little bit. I want to start with a headline
from this past week, and at first glance, it seems
like a good thing. And this is Friday. The Bureau
of Economic Analysis report sorted that personal consumption expenditures are up,

(03:06):
So at first glance, this may look like the economy
is stronger, and maybe in part that is a reflection
of a stronger economy. But I can't help overlay this
headline onto something that we talked a little bit about
last week, and that is the high level of credit

(03:31):
card debt, and I'm concerned that a lot of folks
are still funding lifestyles with credit And an estimated forty
percent of gen Z people surveyed reported that they use
this buy now, pay later. Have you heard of this? Dena.

(03:56):
So with buy now, pay later, they are financing monthly expenditures,
so they're not using this only for special things like
an event, a concert, a vacation. They are using buy now,
pay later for rent, for groceries, and I just think

(04:19):
that's such an alarming statistic.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
It's alarming, especially give it the interest rate and how
long it will then take to pay off that debt.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
No it you know, the cards are stacked against young people.
I think right now it's a very very challenging employment environment.
Student loans are in excess of one trillion dollars and

(04:51):
the five year pandemic related pause on repayments and interest
and penalties that has been lift did so. I think
young people are struggling under the weight of a lot
of economic and societal factors right now. So I think

(05:12):
it's so important that people do what they can to
rain in their spending. And I was asking you before
the show if you are a spender or a saver
and what camp do you put yourself in?

Speaker 3 (05:31):
Honestly, a little bit of both. I'm trying to save
as best I can. What I've knocked out is all
the peripheral spending. If I don't need it, I don't
necessarily need to buy it now. Maybe I'll buy it
in the future, treat myself to something. But I've tried
to cut out all the extraneous expenses.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
And I think you know you characterize that, well, you're
not going to buy it now. I think we want
to get away from a yes no analysis. Right I
want this beautiful new sweater. Should I get it? Yes
or no? Well I probably shouldn't get it for my

(06:10):
financial bottom line, but let me say I'm not going
to get it right now. And this gets into delayed gratification,
which I think is one of the most important attributes
to having a successful life. Do you remember the marshmallow experiment?

Speaker 3 (06:32):
No, I don't.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
In the late sixties, researchers took five four year olds
and put them in a room and gave each of
them or put two marshmallows in front of all of them,
and the woman conducting the study said she had to
leave the room for a few minutes, and anyone who

(06:55):
did not eat the marshmallow was going to be given
an additional marshmallow. Some kids ate the marshmallows the moment
the woman left the room, and the ones who did
not and got the extra marshmallow, they followed them into adulthood.
And this ability, this self discipline, the ability to say

(07:19):
no to a choice that's right in front of them,
really translated into life skills that set them up for success.
And I think too often parents that I see just
give the child whatever they want, whenever they want, and

(07:40):
we're not doing the child any favors.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
You agree with that, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (07:45):
I think children need to hear the word no. Yeah.
But getting back to the credit difficulties, I read that
Ford Motor Company is courting the subprime market for folks

(08:07):
to buy new cars. Have you heard this?

Speaker 3 (08:10):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (08:10):
I have, And it really just boggles my mind why
they would, in good conscience, want to court and target
folks who may be better off saving their money and
buying a used car.

Speaker 3 (08:32):
I know people who have done that. They've just gone
out and bought coincidentally afford yeah, and the payments are
high and they're suffering because of it.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
You know, it's all fun and games in the beginning.
And you know, last week I told the story of
being eighteen years old and up to my eyeballs in
credit card debt and somehow they let me buy a
brand new Nissan on CenTra, and the end of that

(09:02):
story was not a good one. But you know, later on,
I kind of got it together and I realized that
buying a brand new car might not be the brightest,
you know, move financially, because the moment you drive it
off of the car lot, it's worth a whole heck

(09:23):
of a lot less. So when it came time for
me to get another car, I saved and saved and saved,
and my dream was to have a black BMW seven Series.
And at the time I'm dating myself, the car cost

(09:44):
fifty five thousand dollars. And over the course of three years,
I got myself out of credit card debt, I paid
off my student loans, and I had the fifty five
end to buy the BMW.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
You did it the right way.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Well, it turned out that I did not, in fact
buy that BMW because I then rationalized I could take
twenty of the fifty five and buy a used grand Cherokee,
which I did, and the remaining thirty five thousand I

(10:27):
used that as a down payment on a four family
property in Albany, New York that I have to this day.
And this was over twenty years ago, you know. So
for me, it was a matter of really tightening the belt,
saying no to myself for that big, beautiful car and

(10:51):
doing something buying an asset that is appreciating rather than
an asset that's depreciating.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
The fact that you didn't that car. You did buy
a car, so your needs were taken care of.

Speaker 2 (11:04):
The needs were taken care of. You know. It was
not as sexy and glamorous as that sleek BMW seven series,
which I still haven't gotten, by the way. But I
think it's really important for children to see us driving
that used jeep Cherokee, Right, we have to give an

(11:29):
example to people around us.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
I think the example really isn't a yes or no,
but it's delaying the gratification to some degree. You don't
want to overdo it with children. I know firsthands. When
my son was born the first couple of Christmases, I
showered him with gifts a Christmas time, to the point
that he didn't know what to open first, and I

(11:53):
realized that he didn't appreciate any one particular item because
there was so much instead of the opulence, smaller items,
fewer items and let something be special.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Gift fatigue, right, Yes, So, I think we all have
different natures in terms of being a spender or a saver,
and we can do a lot to change our habits
and change our patterns. But it's very important for people

(12:30):
to be simpatico. You know, when you're in a relationship,
whether you're committed partners or you're married, I think it's
important to be on the same page financially, you know,
you shouldn't have one person who is spending money like
a drunken sailor and the other person trying to save.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
It does cause a lot of stress in the marriage.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
It really does. In my own life. I am an
avowedgate and my husband Bill is a very good saver
and he definitely is not living it up buying a
lot of fancy clothes at the Americana Mall. However, their

(13:18):
little differences pop up, and whenever we go on vacation,
which is pretty rare, he needs to buy a hoodie
from that location. And it just baffles my mind why
he needs yet another hoodie. I don't think I've ever

(13:40):
purchased a souvenir from any vacation that we've ever gone on.
I just think we all have too much stuff, and
it's just not good to buy all of these things.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
And then when you have all that stuff, at some
point you have to figure out what to do with it.
And if you're going to offload it, are you going
to give it to somebody or donate it or try
and sell it online. You've accumulated so much.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
We all have too much stuff. So let's all donate
some of our stuff today and we're going to feel
a little bit lighter and a little bit better. Let's
move now. So we want to protect our money from
our own overspending, and in my first book, Love and Money,

(14:32):
protecting yourself from angry Ex's wacky relatives, con artists and
inner demons. The inner demons are the little voices in
our heads that are telling us to buy yet more stuff.
We also want to protect ourselves from con artists. And

(14:53):
there have never been so many brilliant ways to skin us.
There are so many articles from this past week that
we're not going to have time to get to all
of them. But yesterday I read that four men were
sentenced in a scam on women while they were behind bars.

(15:19):
So these guys at an Atlanta prison got friends to
drop with drones cell phones into the recreation yard of
the prison and they scammed millions from women while they're
in the prison. So they're going to be in the

(15:42):
prison a little bit longer. But with AI the ability
to do these so called grandma scams, which this is
happening around the world right now. Through AI, are able
to capture your grandchild's voice, and they're able to have

(16:07):
the grandchild's voice call you and ask for money because
they've just been arrested, and if they don't postpond right away,
they're going to have to sleep overnight in the prison.
Have you heard of this.

Speaker 3 (16:24):
I've heard of it. I've had those calls. I myself have.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
Okay, So I think one of the most important things
that we can do to protect ourselves, every family, your
nuclear family. You want to have a secret password, right, yes,
and this secret password like Houdini had. You know, he

(16:49):
believed in reincarnation and so did his wife.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
And.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
He thought that he was going to come back to
her after his death, and they had a secret code word,
and up until her death, she reported that no one
successfully had that secret code word. So one of the
things that we should all do today is come up
with a secret code word and be on guard for

(17:20):
someone who sounds like your child or sounds like your
grandchild to call you and hit you up for money.
But if they don't know this secret code word, do
not give them the money.

Speaker 3 (17:33):
Excuse me, right up there with the grandma scams. A
lot of times you'll get calls from utilities saying you
have a bill that's outstanding and to make the payment
right then and there on the phone. I've had that
as well. Some of them are very very convinced.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah, no, it sounds reasonable, and I think we need
to be on guard and report these incidents. Depending upon
the county of your residents, the district attorney's office will
have a special scam department that you can report this to.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
Yes, I believe. Also the FTC, the Federal Trade Commission,
has offices for it, as did the FBI. They have
a complaint center.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
No good to know, and you know, I want to
emphasize that, and I avoid using the word senior scam,
because I think that's insulting to seniors. This can and
does happen to everyone. I have a lovely friend who
met the man of her dreams and they were going

(18:43):
to go into business together flipping investment properties. And they
opened a bank account together, and the deal was they
were each going to put one million dollars into this
bank account to buy the first such profit to fix
and flip. So she was very careful and she was

(19:07):
at the bank. She made sure that her name, her
social Security number, as well as his was on this account.
It was a joint account that now had two million
in it, so it was on him to identify the property.
He did. He bought the property, but one little detail,

(19:30):
whose name was on the deed? Yes, of course you did,
so it was in his name alone, and he said,
don't worry, that's just a technicality. And two years later,
she still has not seen a penny from this transaction,

(19:51):
and he has hit the road and is not answering
her phone calls. So she went to law and enforcement
who told her that this was considered a gift from
her to him and there was no evidence that he

(20:11):
tricked her or that he stole this money. It was
a gift. When we establish a joint bank account, we
are giving the other person the ability to go there
and withdraw the entire balance, so we can't be too careful.
I want to move now to something that the legal

(20:37):
profession we hear about, we read about every week, and
that is theft of client money. We all, as practicing attorneys,
have what are called escrow accounts where we hold money
that is in our names as an attorney. It does

(20:58):
not belong to us. However, we're holding that money for
clients in various transactions. Maybe there's a closing and the
property didn't have a CFO for a garage, so they
need to hold ten thousand back until that can all

(21:19):
get sorted out. And every week I read about attorneys
who pillage the escrow account for their own personal use
and consumption.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
I know attorneys who have done that and they are
now residing with the States incarcerated.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:39):
I simply don't understand it. You know, any of us
who've taken the bar exam, we go through an entire
section called the MPRE and I thought it was a
little bit of a joke. It's like one hundred multiple
choice questions and they all revolve around should you take

(22:00):
the escrow money if you intend to pay it back? No?
Should you take the escrow money if your cat needs
an operation? No? On and on and on and on.
It's a pretty easy test. I do know one person
that failed that test, which they went on to fail

(22:21):
the rest of the bar exam as well. But these
thefts happen across every segment of society and we all
need to be on guard like never before.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah, Okay, I want to pivot for a moment and
talk about a wonderful program that's happening tonight. If you
have experienced grief or you know someone who is going
through the aftermath of a terrible loss. The program is

(23:08):
tonight at five o'clock. It is via Zoom, and it's
called the Power of Connection and Movement during Grief. Some
of you may recall we were delighted to have on
the program a few months back my friend Kate Durghy,

(23:30):
who is the founder of Penny's Flight Foundation and the
author of an upcoming book, Reimagining Grief. It's coming out
in twenty twenty six by hay House Publishers, and she
is running a virtual workshop tonight to help those dealing

(23:51):
with grief and loss, and she knows a lot about
the subject. She lost her sixty your old daughter, Penny,
to neurofibromytosis, and she somehow I don't know how, but
she really turned her grief into purpose and she established

(24:19):
the organization Penny's Flight Foundation to raise much needed funding
for research into NF and she is creating a bigger
mission now helping other people form their own foundations and

(24:39):
helping folks deal with grief. I have information on this
program on my Instagram. You can check it out at
my lawyer Anne and that's Anne without any but I
encourage any of you who are dealing with grief and loss,
or if you know someone who is, definitely check out

(25:03):
this program and we'll have more about the book prior
to its launch. Okay, let's move back to legal issues,
and I want to talk briefly about avoiding toxic contracts.

(25:23):
This can be a gym membership that has what we
call a very long tail. When you try to quit
your gym membership, they point to a section in the
contract where you needed to give them three months notice.
We want to be very careful about a tax return

(25:45):
that we sign. And you know, often in a relationship
you have one person who handles all of the finances,
right the bill paying and the investment to decisions and
deals with having the tax return prepared. But you, as

(26:07):
a party to that tax return, you really want to
be sure that you know what's in there.

Speaker 3 (26:15):
Absolutely you're responsible for it.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
You are responsible for it. And do you watch TV? Dana,
not that much? Not that much. I didn't think so.
So do you remember was it the New Jersey Housewives?
Teresa and Joe Judyce.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
Never saw the show?

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Okay? Well, Teresa signed the tax return that was put
in front of her and ended up doing prison time
because the tax return, it turns out, was very different
from their mortgage application, you know, Okay, okay, So the
income on a mortgage application was x and the income

(26:58):
on the federal tax return was why. And the two
people went to prison. And I think it's a very
different reality today than it was forty years ago. Do
you remember John Dolorian? Okay? So, John Dolorian was married

(27:20):
to I think she's one of the most beautiful women
of all time, Christina Ferrari. Do you remember her? Okay?
She signed a return that had a lot of errors
in it, let's say, but she was able to claim
innocent spouse, and I think we see that a lot

(27:45):
less today because both parties are expected to be conversant
with what's on the return. Okay. Another toxic contract can
be when you accompany a parent or a grandparent into
a rehab and they give you a form to sign.

(28:08):
You have to be very careful that you are not
unwittingly undertaking a third party obligation to cover the cost
of care for the person going into the rehab, or
your assets can be jeopardized, which highlights the need for

(28:28):
anyone prior to going into a rehab situation, you want
to make sure that you have a plan to protect
your assets because Medicare and the Medicare Supplement only cover
the first one hundred days. Beyond this, we want to
make sure that our home is in a trust, a

(28:51):
properly drafted trust to get this magical federal five year
clock ticking. Create the trust, put the home, and the
trust make sure that we have all of the ownership rights,
and that puts you in good shape. I encourage you
to join us again next week at ten thirty am

(29:15):
on Wor seven, ten and join me during the week
at my lawyer and have a great day.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
The preceding program was sponsored by New York Priority Medical Care.
The preceding was a paid podcast. iHeartRadio's hosting of this
podcast constitutes neither an endorsement of the products offered or
the ideas expressed.