The Morning Dump 10-28-25

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Okay, So I have been waiting to tell this joke
and I can't tell it on the air. I saw online.
I think it might be one of the best jokes ever. Okay,
let's have it. So should I do it now or
wait till the very end of the podcast?

Speaker 2 (00:30):
I mean, you've already given me the tip, so you
might as well just give me the whole thing right now.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
Sure? Uh? Okay. So I used to date these twins
and it was awesome. Man, always crazy, you know, the
type of sex we would have, and it was just
a really great experience. People would always ask me, how
do you know the difference between the twins? That makes sense?

(00:55):
I was like Zzy Lisa, she was the pretty one one.
She would just paint her fingernails pink. Oh, and Tom
had a cock. I saw the motherfucker coming too. Yeah,
me too. That is probably the best joke. It really is,

(01:20):
because you not everybody sees, especially if you can start
that in a story, like people don't know it's a joke, right,
and there's like I used today really yeah man, huh,
it's awesome. By the way, anybody does a huh yeah,
that's it. They're setting up a goddamn joke giveaway. I
don't know if I could date twins or not. No,

(01:41):
it sounds alright to.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Be honest with you as long as it's fuked me
and fuk you from fucking ostin power.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
Sure, bitches were hot.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
But at the same time, I think there's trouble in
turn three right there. Man, It's just you're gonna get
somebody mixed up. There's always an ugly one, So just
keep that in mind. Of the twins and how I
don't say Tom had a cock.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
I'm just saying. I'm just saying one's always older and
one's younger. There's always an ugly one, right, one's jealous
of the other one.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Yeah, my older sister, motherfucker, you were two minutes earlier, right,
two minutes later older?

Speaker 1 (02:15):
You're born on them.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
The only time I think that because Lindsay's got the
twins right, right, and she's my oldest or my middle child.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Motherfucker, they're twins. They came out practically the same time.
I don't think you get both arguments. No, that they're twins,
but also the ones older.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
I think the only way that works out is if,
like you went into labor and one was born at
like eleven fifty eight, and the other one was born
at like twelve oh one, twelve oh two, so still
coming out, okay, of the same shoot at the same time,
but you have literally two different birth dates.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Oh, I see what you're saying. Okay, cause let's just.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Say your birthday's January first, right, So we'll say you
had a twin and your mom gave birth to you
older twin at you know, eleven fifty eight on twelve
thirty one. Then that child's birthday would be twelve thirty one,
and then you came out at you know, twelve ten
what are a one oh five?

Speaker 1 (03:14):
What? Hour?

Speaker 2 (03:14):
On?

Speaker 1 (03:15):
On? On one to one. I think that's the only
way that that argument works out. Okay, So this says
twins are born only minutes apart. Even if they're born
on different days, months, or years, they're still considered twins
because they originated in the same gestation period. So it
has to do with the women's cycle more than it
does the time that they are born. That makes sense. Yeah, biologically,

(03:36):
that makes complete sense.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
So if you have a baby on January thirty first,
at eleven fifty eight, then a few minutes later four
five an hour and it's now January. I'm sorry, December
thirty first, and then January first. You're in a whole
new month, whole new year, whole new day. It's still

(03:59):
a twin.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, I get that, but at least your argument of
my older one seems to hold more, at least with me.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Anyway. The world record for the longest interval between the
birth of twins is seventeen days. Ninety days. Yeah, that's
not the whole another quarter. How does that work out?

Speaker 2 (04:20):
I've heard of women being in labor for twenty four
forty eight hours, but to.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Shit one baby out.

Speaker 2 (04:31):
And then a month and a half later, two and
a ninety days two months later.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
This makes sense? Is this actually is logical? Please explain it,
because you're right ninety days. Technically it's eighty seven. You're like, what, Yeah,
so it was twins twenty twelve Katie Jones Elliott from Ireland.
They were born eighty seven days apart. One was born
prematurely in June and then the other went full term

(04:59):
to August.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
But they're still considered twins because they were conceived and
formed at the same time in the same uterus or whatever.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
Yeah, same gestation period of gestation period. Wow, So that
makes that's totally I get that I can connect those dots.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
That makes perfect good sense. I thought the other one
was just like, I ain't ready to get motherfucker.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
I am. I am comfy where I am at. For
the older one, huh. Amy, by the way, is the
older one. Katie's the baby, of course, but you can
be like Amy's can constantly go, well, the oldest gets
to this, You're not. We're twins ninety days yo, for real.
I am.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
I am, legit, the oldest one. I came into this world,
took my first breath before you, bitch, You're lucky I
didn't kill you while I was fucking in there.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
Before you guys were older and you were stabbing each other.
What was it? Do you remember a big knives with nine?

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah? Do you remember the like a big fight you have?
My brother and I I think I've told this one
on the air, But we were fighting about I don't
even like something stupid, I'm sure, And we had bunk
beds and he was on the top of the bunk bed,
you know whatever, and wrestling and he was trying to

(06:12):
kick me with his leg I remember, right, And I
was like you bastard, and he's like, what popped me
right in the face? And I was It was totally
that classic movie like looking around like.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah, we didn't really fight a lot like that.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
I do remember one and my dad whooped his ass
with the belt. He would he motherfucker.

Speaker 2 (06:42):
I don't even know if he listens to this podcast,
but I kind of hope he does, and I might
even just email him this so I can get this shit.
He kept calling me a test tube baby, and that
hurt my feelings.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
So sure, and we were back and wow, old was
I of it in Alabama?

Speaker 2 (07:00):
So I had to be at least eleven or twelve, yeah,
because I moved out here right before, right after I
turned thirteen. Yeah, he kept calling me a test too baby,
and I got so mad.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
And of course we're in. We're in.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
We're in a single wine fucking trailer, right, two bedroom trailer.
The three of us boys had to share a room.
We had bunk beds, and then uh so he he mean,
the bigger one got the got the one on the
bottom got the bottom bunk, and then me and my
little brother had to share the top bunk, right, And

(07:36):
so we're in in.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
This trump beds always the root of the problem.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
Fucking air, right, and just shoving three boys into one
tiny little room saying share that motherfucker never really works out.
So where our room was, it was right off the
living room. And keep in mind single white trailers, so
there's not a lot of space whatever, Right, and mom
and dad are in the living room watching TV. And

(08:00):
we were in there fucking terrorizing each other because that's
what boys did. And he kept calling me a test too, baby,
and we started I'm not a test too, baby, and uh,
yeah you are, and and dad finally got he got
tired of it. I am tired of hearing you motherfuckers
in here yelling and screaming at each other.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Well, he called me a test too, baby. Oh yeah,
is that's so?

Speaker 2 (08:23):
And he took him and he proceeded to whoop the
dog shit out of him with that fucking belt.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Do you think that would be all right? You think
that would be justice for gimpy? Right? No?

Speaker 2 (08:35):
No. After he got down whooping my brother's ass, this
I gotta fucking see it right now, you little shit,
he brings me into the living room. Right, my brother
is trying to gather himself in the kitchen. So it's like,
here's our trailer tube porch, kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom,

(08:56):
Mam and dad rooms like rail car.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
So he in the kitchen trying to get his ship together,
right after getting his ass thoroughly worked with the fucking
leather belt because my dad did not fucking hold back
at all whatsoever. And uh, he's broken a lot of
belts over us, right and uh, ged.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
You get in here?

Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah right, shyly walking in what and uh, listen, y'all
need to figure it out.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
I'm tired of the argue and I'm tired of listening
to it. But he called me. I don't give a
fuck what he called you.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
And at the same time, my brother's in the background
pointing and laughing at me.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
As ray for some shit that I didn't even fucking do.
Ye oh god, yeah no, that didn't traumatize me at all.
Yeah no, I think that's I can't imagine. You haven't
shared one thing that traumatized you. What do you remember
when it didn't bother you to get spanked? Oh yeah anymore?
Oh yeah, we were living here, we just moved to Oklahom. Well,

(10:00):
I guess maybe it had been here for a little while.
I was about fourteen. I think it was about the age,
and I think I told this story before on air.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
But I went to the it was the county fair
in Blackwell, and I got a marijuana leaf fucking necklace
and I thought it was cool. And then I got
in trouble for tailgating quote unquote on cars. And that's
when you're on your rollerblade and you grab onto the
car and they fucking pull you down the road. All right,
So got in trouble for all that, and my dad,

(10:30):
you know, I got busted. The police take me home.
They tell my dad, oh, hey, this is what he
was doing. Oh, by the way, a little rat bastard.
He has a marijuana leaf necklace.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
Oh no, And then he went.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
Off on me on that and he proceeded to get
me with the belt. Then I just fucking laughed at him.
I was like, this, what is this? So it was
ever since then that's when shit started getting taken away.
He started getting grounded, no more ass weapons.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
Don't remember what I did, but I remember going getting
to be given a choice. It was like being grounded
or getting spanked, and I think they expected me to
pick grounding. Right. But I think I was like fourteen,
maybe fifteen and maybe thirteen, and I was like, I'll
take the spanking, right, and they were kind of taken

(11:19):
back by it. They I mean, I know, he lined up.
I felt the wind before I felt the paddle. That
paddle uh huh and uh. I was like, okay, cool,
I excused.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
Oh yeah, I think I it was my mom first
before it was my dad, because my mom tried to
whoop me once and I was like maybe thirteen at
that time, and I was like, this isn't fucking nothing.
But my dad always brought the heat, and it was
always with the leather belt.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Yeah, never with the paddle. Mama, man, she she.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Grabbed the belt, a house shoe, fucking hot wheels, track,
whatever it is, you know, but Dad brought the heat,
and that was always the scariest thing.

Speaker 1 (12:02):
But eventually, you know, it's like what Okay, I told
the story before. My grandma was not very my dad's mom.
My grandma was not very tall, but she was a badass.
My grandfa her husband, my grandfather worked at the car
plant building cars, and she also worked, but not like
he did. And she built a house nice four feet

(12:25):
eight inches tall. But a motherfucker. Yeah. Anyway, so we
get in trouble with her, she'd be like, go out
and get a branch off the weeping willow tree. Well,
those were always funny, yeah, and she that was always hurt.
I remember those hurting more than the spankings I got
from my parents. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Something about that that branch man, that switch. I don't
know what it is about it, but hurt like a motherfucker.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
And I remember getting hit with a wooden spoon and
that who I remember that too.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
Yeah, we try my grandma. Yeah, yeah, my grandma's the
same way. Grab a house shoe, a wooden spoon, spatula,
go get your own switch, and you better make it
fucking decent, because if I have to go out there
and get it myself, it's gonna be even worse.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
Ruck the smallest right right, hit me with this. Yeah.
There was a lot of mouth being washed out with soap. Yeah,
from grandma.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, either words I said or just being in trouble.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
You know.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
That was another thing. I can still fucking taste Irish
spring in my mouth.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
It was always Irish spring worse man. Yeah, I remember
the two times that happened. I don't remember the word
I said. But I remember standing at the sink, biting
down on the soap, and my fucking parents took the
soap from the soap dish, right.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
They didn't open a new one. No, you got the
same crusty shit. They had the grease on it from
dead working.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah. And it was not put it in your mouth.
It was bite down. Huh, don't let that fall out
of your mouth.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
Oh no, Ma, that was mama. She was take that
motherfucker and just literally wash your mouth out with fucking soap.
So it was not putting the soap in. She scrubbed
the interior of motherfucker.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
And you learn your lesson. I can tell you that
it's a burn, right, It's a type of burn that
you can't describe. It's not like a burn like hot sauce,
not a burn like calliente. It's a different type of burn,
A chemical bird in your mouth. Is, that's true.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
Is, And we don't do that. Hey, my kids are
all grown. I've got grandbabies now. I never have once
had to wash their mouth out with soap, or you know,
at least put the soap in their mouth and let
them holding it there for a little while.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
None of that ship.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Never really spanked my kids now, so I guess I
got lucky in that situation. But I don't think. I
don't think we do that enough anymore. We need to
bring that shit back. Nah.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
I still it didn't stop me. I still fucking swear, Yeah,
but not around your parents. Just learn boundary. I didn't
learn the like not to you still exactly are good.
I'll never forget. And when I realized, like, you can't
put a fucking bar soap in my mouth, I was like,
I was like, motherfucker, what's up? Motherfuckers? Go ahead? Yeah,

(15:11):
my parents with the soap, because you you would think
the scrubbing was worse than maybe it was. But it
was like Chinese water torture. Man. You would put in
the mouth, in your mouth and it wasn't like a minute.
They would be like, I'll be back. You're holding on
to it for a little bit, and now you're drooling
and the soap is getting salive on it, and it's
slowly pooling in the bottom of your mouth and it's

(15:34):
water in your mouth, so it like spreads and it
starts working its way. Like the matrix when Neo takes the.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
Pill plus the bitterness of the soap activates your saliva gland,
makes it worse, worse. Yeah, yeah, maybe that was a
worse punishment than just going in hardcore and just washing
it out.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
I don't know. Yeah, that one I remember pretty bad.
And then, and I've told this my dad. I wanted
to go to the fair, the school fair, and fucking
do the cake walk. Man, you got him kidding me.
Take somebody's weird fucking walnut cake home so good. And
I got in trouble for grades or something just kind

(16:14):
of blew it off, and my dad was like, what
do you got to say about your grades? And I
fucking probably was just being a piece of shit, you know, off,
and he was like, okay, okay, well I needed to
move the lumber for the deck to the backyard. And
it was like, I mean he was building a fucking
twelve by twelve deck, massive, and four by fours and

(16:38):
two by fours and stuff for steps and concrete bags,
I mean everything. Yeah. Yeah, And so I was like, well,
ill wait till Craik comes home. He can help me.
He's like, oh no, no, no, no, you don't care
about grades. You need to start doing some labor. And
I was like, okay, So I moved it all to
the back and I went fast, get it done and

(17:00):
over with fast when I'm hyper focused, Man, get the
fuck out of my way. Yeah, and did it and
I was like, I'm done, I'm gonna go. Still had
like two hours, right, and uh. I was like, I'm
gonna I'm done, and he's like what And he looks
and he's like, well, now you can put it back.
And he's like, and you better not do it fast.
Uh huh. It better be pristinely stacked. I fucking had

(17:25):
to do it all. God by the sun was fucking
down right. I was like, shit, I ain't fucking going
down there, ain't no way they're gonna let me go now.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
Yeah, we've shared it before. Let's sit down and eat
all your fucking food. But you're not getting up from
this table until your plate is cleared. And my favorite
one is the sour kraut incident because my parents they
liked that sort of thing, and I just recently because
of the health stuff that I went through. God over
my hatred for sour things. Yeah, I'm not eating sour

(17:54):
patch kids, that's still fucking disgusting. But I just I
could put down some krout now, all right, I put
it brought word right. I've gotten used to lemons.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Still.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
It's not my favorite, but I can handle it. But
my parents were always they love that shit. So as
a kid didn't like it, didn't like it, just like
you with the green peppers. Right, I am not fucking
with this sour kraut bullshit. And they they you gonna
sit here, You're gonna eat everything. There's two stories there.
You're gonna eat all of this and before you get up,

(18:24):
come on and eat it.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
It's just like pickles. Okay, fuck off, Okay.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Everybody else is gone there in there fucking watching family
ties or whatever like that, right, and I'm at the
motherfucking table, and all right, Well, if it tastes like
fuck pickles, I scoop that ship up and I threw
it right in this big ass pickle jar that we had.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
I'm done, okay, are you now? Okay, great, go get it.
See you with that bed.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah, I fucking go in there to get a fucking
glass of tea or some shit like that. Right, And
there it is, the pickle jar with all the crowd
floating in it can't be what the hell is this
I don't know. Yeah, I got my ass well for
that one too. The second time was spaghetti and parmesan cheese,

(19:14):
not like the good stuff but the green craft you know, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah, and uh whoa pile that motherfucker on top right,
singing on top of spaghetti the whole fucking time, right,
And this whole plate of spaghetti was it was white
because there's so much cheese on. I had to sit

(19:34):
there and choke that whole motherfucker down before I could
get up all that cheese. This is probably why I'm
not a big fan of parmesan.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
Cheese now ship Yeah, creen peppers, I fucking hear you, man,
raumatize man. Yeah, lime of beans was my dad would
because he loved them, and you had to everybody had
to have everything at the table. Yeah, And so put
them on my plate and be like you're fucking eating them.
I was like, I don't like them, Dad likes them,
so what Which is a wild take if you think
about it, like, why do I have to like what

(20:03):
you like? Right? Because I fucking made it. That's why, Right,
you like them so fucking much, you eat them all?
Why waste them on me? Fucking a nowadays, I'm like,
I don't want to waste this on them if they're
not gonna eat it, right, And so I I remember
sitting there trying to eat it, and like they fucking
turned the lights off. I don't know if you know,
I'm fucking stubborn. So I was like, okay, I'll fucking

(20:26):
philibuster this shit. I didn't even know what philibuster was,
but you're in it. And uh. Parents would get in
arguments over it. Yeah, And I don't remember ever getting
my ass beat for not eating. But my why my
current wife we were talking about that stuff and I
told her I was sharing that story and she was like,
was that a one time thing? I'm like, oh, fuck, no,

(20:47):
that happened a lot. I didn't like green peppers, and
my parents would make stuffed bell peppers all the time
and put one on my plate and fucking expect me
to eat it and I fucking wouldn't. Yeah, and they'd
make me sit there. And so I'm telling these stories
to my wife and she's like, you know, that's weird, right,
right to force make somebody eat something they don't want.

(21:10):
They're raping you with food.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
It just hit me leon they're forcing food on you
that you don't want rapist. Technically forcing somebody something on
somebody that don't.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
Like it diminishes rape. But I hear what you're saying. Yeah,
and the idea that, like, she was like, so hold on,
they made something knowing you didn't like it and put
it on your plate, knowing you didn't like it. I
was like, yeah, She's like, well, yes, I know where
you get your stubbornness from, right, dig in, motherfucker. Yeah.
Just it feels so menacing when you think about it
that way, Like, how can fuck what you don't like?

(21:46):
You're just a fucking kid. What do you know? What
do you fucking know what I don't like? You don't
That's what I know. You don't know shit about taste buds, mother,
What do you know about what you don't and don't like?
I don't know. I'm fucking six years on the planet
and I think I know.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
What my taste bud's like. I will tell you what
you like. Goddamnity, you don't. I won't even try to
use your own.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
Mind, right, And I think that's why I'm so like
against that kind of shit now, Like it didn't make
me like it. Yeah, it caused resentment. I get that
it did not win. Yeah, I never forced my kids.
I can't recall anyway, right, I'm sure my parents don't either.

Speaker 2 (22:26):
I can't recall forcing them to eat something they didn't like,
like the sour crowd or the green peppers. But there
was a You're gonna sit there and eat that until
it's all gone, because I'm not wasting food. I don't
want you to get up from this table and then
thirty minutes later, I'm hungry, right because you didn't eat
all your fucking dinner. And that was the only thing, right,

(22:48):
It was a lot of it was, you know, I
want to make sure. My job is to make sure
your belly is full and you got a roof over
your head and clothes to put on your body.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
That's my job as a parent. So that's all that
there was too.

Speaker 2 (22:59):
Yeah, I wouldn't forced them to eat something they didn't like.
I think we were pretty much just made it quite easy.
As a matter of fact. Fuck, you probably know as
younger kids, you you kind of don't. When your kids
are younger, you don't have adult food in the house.
You're you're eating kid food. As adults, you're eating chicken
nuggets and macaroni and cheese, you know, just because well

(23:23):
that's what they like.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
We got to eat too, serves a lot of that
that way. Yeah, I kinda not that we need to
go down a parenting rabbit hole, but I'm I'm I
kind of have that Like if you don't eat, don't
eat right, there's no snack later, right, because they're not
gonna starve to death. Yeah. Now, most of the time
peep parents parents out of not wanting to be inconvenienced.

(23:46):
That's fair. So like, I want you to eat so
I don't fucking deal with your mood later. That's fair.
And so as long as you prepared to weather the storm,
and like, yeah, you can be fucking hungry, but don't
don't come bitching at me when you're hungry. Yeah, it's fair.
And say, I have that same attitude with homework. I'm like, listen,
you should do your homework because I have really two rules.
I have three rules in the house. Don't hit right,

(24:08):
and we do the best we can, and we do
the most we can. That's pretty much it. I was like,
if you think that's the best you can do and
the most you can do, and you don't need to study. Okay,
it's your grade, right, has zero to do with me.
I'm out a fucking third grade, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, we're good.
And so like, she just had a big project and
I was like, I told my wife, I'm not fucking
doing it. I'm not doing any part. I'll go buy

(24:29):
the thing, but I'm not fucking doing right the project right.
And she did it all in her room. That's good.
But like, I just don't think there's just no benefit
that's on you. If you want to go to school
looking like a goddamn clown, go do it right, Go ahead,
where're that Frankenstein? It's all good.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
Yeah, I don't care as long as I don't get
I never really gave a shit as long as they
weren't the stinky kids. You know, I didn't want to
be known as the parent with the stinky kids. Yeah,
nobody likes the stinky kid. Yeah no, that's yeah, that's
that's fair. That's fair. But somebody has to be the
stinky kid too. Well, it ain't gonna be my motherfucking kids,
that's that's all. Like, that's all like I was to

(25:06):
say about that.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Yeah, I just did they even if the a class
of all the cleanest kids. So one of them is
the steakiest. Yeah, absolutely, for sure.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
They all smell fantastic except for that one over there.
At least I know that my job as a parent
was done. Their bathe, their teeth are brushed.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
We good. Yeah, I as And maybe because I'm, you know,
ten years into a parenting, I'm kind of like, eh, fuck,
don't hit, don't think about it. I'm gon shit, that's
on you. Yeah. Two, each is their own. You're you're
at what age can you decide whether you need to
shower or not? Uh?

Speaker 2 (25:40):
Yeah, that's a very good point. And some people would
say starting them early to make those decisions is not
exactly a bad thing.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah, I know, but how early is too early? Somebody
texted and said, oh fuck, where to go because it's
a really funny one. Uh it had to do with Santa.
Oh yeah, somebody texts this. Oh here it is, Uh,
what age should kids learn about Santa and how he's fake?

(26:08):
And my response to that is never, it's their decision. Okay,
I'm not gonna go all right, you're ten, he's fucking fraud. Okay,
so you you the parents sitting him down and saying
that that's the way I interpret that.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
Yeah, yeah, do parents do that. I found out from
my older brother.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
I think that's how most find out, and I think
that's how it should be. Now.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
I wish fucking Lindsay was here, right, because she's an
only child, and I would like to know how she
found out that Santa wasn't real.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Probably the playground, Okay, yeah, that makes sense. She came
from a divorced family, so you know, one parent trying
to fucking out to the other. Yeah, that's fair. I
don't know. I'm just speculating. We're just looking at it,
but probably probably at school from other kids. If I
was a guessing guy, that's probably what I would say.
We think our oldest is like, she's starting to figure

(27:03):
that out. He's hitting that point. Yeah, And we now
have a narrative of like, you know, when they're they
ask about Santa multiple spots and things like that, I'm like, listen,
that's not the real Santa. And remember, Santa isn't just
the person. Santa is about family and being together and
in the birth of Jesus and all like, we try

(27:24):
to make it about a whole bunch of things, right,
and not just a fucking guy in a red suit.
So when it becomes the truth, it doesn't fucking the
magic of Christmas, you know, Yeah, I guess you're right.
I guess you're right.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
I got grand babies and I'm all good with it.
You take them babies and going over there now, right,
I got my fill.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
You know what I can't see in fucking tooth fairy shit,
I can't stand God the worst.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
Right, Oh my God, you gotta sneak in there and
hopefully you can find the tooth. And well I can't
find the tooth, but here's a fucking nickel anyway.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
And then they come back and.

Speaker 2 (27:56):
They're like, I've still got my two like this the
tooth fairy lost it, and I'm not gonna lie this. Uh.
The nurse that I was dating while back, remember her, right, Yeah,
she had a couple of kids. I feel I suspected
that they were pulling their teeth to get money for
the toothesdamn, because it'd be like I lost a tooth
and then next week I lost a tooth.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
Yeah, you just lost a tooth. One of my kids
lost three in one week read different days. Yeah really, yeah,
just they make teeth different nowadays. Sure they used to.
When I was a fucking kid, Scott, you didn't lose
it too till you got your ass whipped. That's when
we had real children. Terry Bradshaw on NFL Today, Uh

(28:40):
Sunday was like, we injured. When we were here, we'd play.
We like, shut up, old fucking man. God damn, he
need to retire. He does, he needed to retire. He
went on on some tangent about fucking Andy Reid and
the pigs or whatever. Like the other guy's like, what
the fuck? Huh are you talking about? Sury? I think

(29:02):
the cancer treatments are getting too Yeah, okay, so we
have our Cancer Sucks Concert. If you know someone in
a band and tell them about this, we want them
to submit their one song demo at kmody dot com.
Someone was like, when's the Battle of the Bands. Well
we'll decide that right and we will pick the two
that will perform out at the Canes Ballroom on November
twenty ninth. So that's at kymody dot com. You guys

(29:24):
have a fantastic week. By bye,