The Morning Dump 5-16-23

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Episode Transcript

(00:14):
I'm trying to remember that the dogdid it. The dog did it.
That was what what the dog do? Right? That was from my story
from this morning, the guy thatblamed the dui thing. That's what I
was trying Yeah, yeah, okay, got you. I was trying to
remember that part of it happens.That's the best of us, all right?
You ready for this? Ten milliondollars right now in your hand.

(00:36):
But there's a catch. A snailis chasing you for the rest of your
life, and if he touches you, you die a terrible death. The
snail cannot be killed. It knowsyour location at all times. It's only
purposes to find you. Are youtaking the money? So I got a
hide from a snail from the restof my life. Hiding from a snail

(01:00):
would be simple, you think saymore. I mean it's just one right,
yeah, just one little snail leavingits trail coming for you. How
much money? Ten million dollars cashin hand, But you gotta be on
the run. Think of Jumanji.But a snail so like tortoise in the

(01:29):
hair, right, Like, don'tunderestimate because it's a snail, right right,
that's the thing, right, becauseyou gotta sleep at some point in
time. And when you're sleeping,are you really paying attention to where the
fucking snail is at? No,You're hard to see and they are hard
to see. So there you are, minding your own business, snoozing away
in your king's eyes bed, andhere comes the fucking snail, snailing his

(01:53):
way up your sheets. All he'sgot to do is touch you one time.
Right, doesn't have to bite you, just has to touch you.
Even if he just goes by youin grazes you, you're dead. So
keep in mind snails catch rides onthings. That's a good point. So

(02:13):
you go to sleep for twelve hours, six hours you go, you get
the flu m, and the snailwill find you. So now you are
constantly on the hunt. You arethe hunted. Yeah, how I think
of what is it wedding crashers?Because I find you knew? Um,

(02:34):
yeah, I'll I guess I'll pass. Because even though I think of like,
well, my husband will be onthe lookout for me, like while
I sleep, he could be awake, you know, on the lookout for
the snail. Yeah, but howis that conducive to like a positive relationship?
Right? Because he's gonna eventually fallasleep too, Right, he's gonna
forget one night. Oh so damntired. Yeah, sorry exactly, So

(02:58):
I'm gonna have to pass on tenmillion dollars sucks, gimp. I agree,
I'd have to pass too, becauseI like to sleep, and I
don't want to sleep with one eyeopen, you know what I'm saying.
Yeah, and and and and Ifeel like, because the sneaky suns of
bitches, you ain't paying no attention, they'll just come right up on you
next thing. You know, yougot a snail trail across your fucking head.

(03:20):
You're dead. To me. It'sthe game of attrition. So like
you'll get used to it. Youget used to the oh it didn't come
tonight, thank goodness. So you'llbe like let your guard down a little
bit more, and then you'll letyour guard down. That's the thing about
serial killers, and that like theyeventually let their guards down so much they
get caught right right right, theTBK killer heat BTK BTK th I I

(03:45):
knew I gotta he eventually like wroteletter like he prompted them, like he
was he believed so much he wouldnot get caught, and he did,
and he did, so that snailwill wear you down. I will get
you one day unknowingly. Right,delayed success is a thing. So here's

(04:06):
the deal. As soon as themoney's gone, does the snail disappear or
you constantly You've got ten million dollarsand the snail's chasing you for the rest
of your life. Once the money'sgone, then you're broke a fuck and
running from a snail. And thereason not to think of it like the
Russian mob you took a loan fromjust because you don't have the money no
more, don't mean anything. Iwould have come with you. And you're

(04:28):
shortening your life because you're stressed outall the time. Sure, but that's
not a real thing. I mean, that's that's a believed theory. That's
not a proven thing. There've beenplenty of people that don't worry at all
and died a young age. That'strue, right. There have been plenty
of people that eat out every workout every day where it's different work out

(04:53):
every day and they have a heartattack at a young age. Right,
it doesn't. There are exceptions toeverything, but the idea of like a
snail chasing you is just so funnyto me. You'll never catch me,
right, I just imagine that's whatthe sound makes when a snail's crawling.
I don't know. I've never gottenclose enough to hear it, but yeah,

(05:15):
and I would think if I sawit, like, oh, oh,
I could take like a wood stickright and fling him. Oh.
So you're just gonna beat off thesnail anytime he gets close to you.
I mean, I'm gonna hit it. I don't know if I'm gonna do
all that. I mean, listen, it feels like that would defeat the
purpose. Maybe maybe, but Ilike where you're at. Send that snails
somewhere else. But the thing is, the snail always knows where you're at,

(05:39):
always knows where you're going. We'llalways find you. I just don't
want to be on the run forthe rest of my life. That sounds
like it sucks. Or the walkfast right right? Walk? Yeah,
you just walk? Oh, Inever know. You might get the one
mutant snail that's like that one that'sa fuck there. I feel. There
was a Disney Cartoon animated movie wherereally fast snail was involved and he was

(06:02):
a racing snail. God damn it. Early two thousands I gotta look at
it. I forget, I forgetthe name of it. Yeah, and
okay, so I'm doing some investigatingsand gritty substances. Snails can't climb gritty
substances. Oh hey, all right, that changes things a little bit.
Yeah, I guess it helps toknow about the snails before you go and

(06:25):
make this bat. Yeah, andguess what they don't like and do or
do like I guess beer traps,beer traps. Yeah, I've done this.
Oh yeah, and your garden.You put beer out there and they'll
go into a drink themselves to death. Yeah. Wd forty salt, Yeah,
salt. I know about the salt. But they don't die, right,

(06:45):
They said this one could never die. No, that's true. Like
I see what you're saying, Likebased off the theory the question that's been
posed, right, they cannot die. You can't kill it. That was
the thing. This snail cannot bekilled. They cannot be killed, doesn't
say you, Okay, so oursalt would be useless. Well, my
thought was like move out to thesalt plains. Boom, that motherfucker ain't

(07:09):
going out there. But even thenyou can move to the mountains, but
not all mountains or ninetyes, youknow what I mean. I'm sure that
snail would figure out a way tomake its way where it needs to be.
Here's some stuff that people are saying. By the way, the online
thing sent said, they take themoney, put a cup over it.

(07:30):
Okay, well then you got acup chasing after you. I mean,
I don't know how strong. Maybeover time it will develop some strength,
but from the beginning it's not reallygonna be moving it. I'm just saying
eventually it'll it'll move it, andthat that cup will tip over and then
the snail's free, and then he'sjust you might you may get a little
bit of a head start on it, maybe by like a year or so.

(07:53):
Uh, and then people just showingoff their AI skills of the snail
having the snail do things. Yeah, I don't know. Turbo's the name
of the movie. So okay,a snail moves at point zero three miles
per hour, I would take thecash and move a ten thousand miles away
in the southern Hemisphere. Leaves methree hundred and thirty three thousand hours approximately

(08:20):
thirty eight calendar years advantage. Assumingthe snail won't board a ship. Or
plane. Yes, then I wouldbe screwed. Man. That's the thing
because to me, the snail isLiam Neeson and it's going to do everything
it can to fucking hunt you down. It's Jason Bourne. It is the
most sophisticated snail every yet. Absolutelyit may be slower shit, but it
is coming after you. It hasthis snail has one mission in life and

(08:43):
that is to touch you, Okay, and not in a heartfelt way.
I love this. Imagine that snailgetting stuck on the freeway that you drive
to and from work every day becauseit never makes it one way or another
very far before you have to turnaround again. Jokes on you, snail,
I'm gonna make you wish for death, make the snail math. And

(09:09):
then someone commented right after it,bro, I'm still thinking about driving to
and from work after receiving ten milliondollars. Who wouldn't do that? Not
me? Uh yeah, that's athat's a good one. I just love
those type of questions, bro.And yes, and paying someone to make
a steel cube with a foot thickwall and put the snail inside, then

(09:31):
filling the void with JB. Weld. It may not die, but it
will take it a thousand years toescape and then someone wouldn't that be cruel
to the snail's to kill me?Yeah? Right, I think it's fair
At that point in time, Iwondered too, if you could hire someone

(09:52):
to kill chase the like deal withthe snail. The snail can't be killed,
fine, then all you gotta dois deterre it, right like kind
of like you know, walking dead, Hey, zombies over here, over
here, over here, and youjust you got the snail, you gotta
Okay, I guess that would work. I'll take a million dollars, set
it to the side, and thenpay a team of Navy seals to just
track its location, and then Ican call and go, hey, Signal

(10:18):
five, where is where is thecandor? Right? Oh it's it's it's
two inches from where we talked twodays ago. Okay, good, all
right, I'm gonna take a napgoing to France. Sir, we've lost
the snail. Oh shit, snailwe were in Guam. I took an

(10:45):
s Yes, yes you did.And now I'm gonna fucking die because you
all can do your job. Giveme my million dollars, you get nothing.
Life is already really stressful now adeath snail is after me no thing.
Every time I see a snail,I'd freak. Every time i'd travel,
I'd wonder where it's at, evenwhen I'm happy, it will be
there like a splinter in my mind. Nah, keep your money, I'll

(11:09):
take peace of mind. Thanks forreal. Man, you get on a
plane, You're trying to enjoy yourvacation, right, You're like, excuse
me, miss, can I getit? And then there's the fucking snail
at the front of the plane.And do we know what the snail looks
like? A snail? No?I know, but do we know what
the particular snail? I'm sure itcan I slimey, right. It may

(11:31):
have a me maybe mustachioed. Idon't know, right, it may have
a monocle. I don't know.It feels like I would have a monocle
at that level. Definitely bald,because if this is a death snail,
I feel like all villains are bald. You want to know a rabbit hole?
I went down. Babies with fullheads of hair, dude, It
is so funny to me. Babiesget born sometimes with full heads of hair,

(11:54):
like yeah, full yeah, makemake people like me jealous? Sure,
sure, like, and I knowonly because my my youngest was born
with a lot of hair, notlike what is fun to see online.
Um, and it gave my wifeterrible indigestion, oh yeah, and terrible
like crippling. Um. But kidsthat have like beautiful, like it's crazy

(12:22):
how much hair they have. You'relike, and it's soft and like it's
so yeah. You're like, I'venever been someone like that, as a
beautiful head of hair. But thesebabies that have crazy hit locks, You're
like, damn. When the twinswere born, Leo had so much hair
and it had not just hair onhis head, but he had his ears

(12:43):
were covered in hair. His backwas covered in hair. I'm like,
did I just give birth to amonkey? Like? His whole body was
covered in hair. I could seehow you could go down this hole.
Man. I mean, that's obviouslynot real. But this one is.
This is real. This is real. It's like they've come out of Look

(13:05):
at this cat with the with thebeauty hair. Tell me that's just not
fantastic on so many levels. Kindof jealous. And I see people out
in public and their kid has somuch hair, and I want to go
up to them, but I fuckinghated that when people did that to us.
I just keep it to myself.So beautiful and like, why what

(13:28):
prompted you to come tell me thatwe'll look at that fucking head of hair?
Man? Yeah, I just don't. But it's awesome to go down
the rabbit hole of seeing babies withfull heads of hair. That's fun.
Yeah, because I was googling itauto filled babies with full set of teeth.
Surely that's not a thing, rightit happens, does it? Really?
It happens? That could be fuckingweird that My biggest fears wed.

(13:52):
That is a fear because if you'regonna if you plan on breastfeeding a baby,
I mean, they're still gonna gnawnyou that they have teeth or not.
Like, either way, you're gonnahave chewed gum on the end of
your tits. These pictures are hilariousnow the fun thing. I don't know
how which are real or not,but damn that's funny. This says natal
teeth are relatively rare, though lessrare than you might think. Approximately one

(14:16):
out of every three newborns comes intothe world with at least one tooth.
If you're imagining a newborn smiling upat his mother with a full set of
teeth. You should know that babieswith natal teeth are usually born with no
more than two. Okay, afew babies have a ride with much more
substantial portion of their primary baby teethpresent, but no cases of newborns with

(14:41):
full sets of teeth have ever beenreported. But they are great though it's
not a real thing. It remindsme of that picture of fucking Denzel Washington,
you know what I'm talking about.Most people don't know if he doesn't
have teeth. Ye, So whenyou look at her, you're like,

(15:05):
put your teeth in man, what'syour damn problem? Get your damn teeth
back in your mouth. Yeah,baby teeth, m yeah. And that
is one of the things I knowI am not a fan of. I
mean, just the fact that awoman has to bear a child is fucking

(15:26):
crazy, right, But then thatyou have them chew on your body like
one of the most sensitive parts ofyour body, right and just non non
it, you know, like thatlooks horrible. And here's the twisted game
that's that mother nature plays on women. Is then here you if you if
you can provide milk, which isbecoming more and more challenging for women.

(15:48):
But if you provide milk here,you're gonna your tints are gonna get destroyed.
Yeah, and if you don't,your mental head is gonna fuck you
up because you're gonna feel like youcouldn't provide milk to food to your baby,
right, you fucking twisted game.Yeah, I'm good on all that.
How fucking twisted? Is that goodon all that? M hmm?

(16:11):
I was getting groceries yesterday and thiswoman titty out baby feeding walking down the
aisles of grocery store. I said, well, that's interesting. I don't
give it. Don't bother me any, I just I was not expecting to
come around, you know, tothe produce section and bam, tits all
right, she probably should have justwent to the milk section. That's appropriate.
Don't dairy back there, woman,Come on, it's kind of a

(16:33):
joke, like, hey, there'stime and place for that. But the
joke is the dairy section, right, there's literally a place for that back
there in the back. Yeah.You get your eggs while you're back there
too. Yeah. I don't knowwhy they don't just have they'll slaughter meat
in a grocery store. Yeah right, yeah, but they won't milk cows.
Fucking Explain that to me. Ithink it's the pasteurization process. So

(16:59):
because they don't so like raw milkin the stores at all, what's I
don't think they can gotta buy thosefrom the Amish, right exactly. So
that's probably what it is. ButI bet you you know what enough,
maybe go to shark take be like, hey, listen, I want to
start a grocery store. We're gonnahave live cows in the bag. The
freshest fucking milk will pasteurize. Idon't know how long the pasturization process takes,
but surely it couldn't be that hard. It's it's just santaneously splash its

(17:22):
watering um. In all honesty,I know that's not a thing. Because
have you ever smelled cowshit? Itis not fun. No. No.
Living in Alabama, we had thisnice past You're right across the house from
us, and that's where the buswould pick us up and every morning fresh
fucking COWSHITU. And then I wasliving in New Kirky, it wasn't a

(17:44):
cowshit. It was the fucking farmerskids that come in the pig farmers kids
wreaking a fucking pig shit every day. Oh my god. If you think
cowshit's bad, pig shit's the fuckingit's even warners, even fucking warners so
gross, and they're like a shipin my boots. Chicken shit's the worst.
I don't know, man, Ijust shit in general, but yeah,
I feel you good. Growing upin Alabama, we had Marshall Durban

(18:07):
out there, and the chickens werea huge things. So they had these
rows and rows and rows of chickenhouses and uh and and and you know,
when you're getting close, you know, when you're getting close, you
don't, yeah, you don't,you know, just like, oh,
hey, there's chicken shits there,no miles away, miles Oh for sure,
that's that way. And Rogers too, when you get into Arkatos.

(18:30):
But chicken shit, dude, dude, well you'll you'll never forget that smell.
Yeah, yeah, kind of likepassing that giant cattle ratch in n
Amarilla. If you've ever gone throughAmarilla, huge like where cows are standing
on top of each other. There'sso many of minutes just it was fucking
horrible. And we got past it. We got past it, and I
still smelt it for miles miles evenafter we passed it. I was like,

(18:53):
that's fucking rose. I don't knowhow people could do that. But
that's your life, man, that'syour life. You choose it. You
said. One of my favorite terms, fresh pile of shit. It' shit
that's's literally not fresh at all.It's literally old food and things they couldn't
digest. True that, But whenit comes out the ass and it's like
right there on the ground, that'sa fresh pile of shit to you.

(19:14):
Whoa you know, I think ifI take a crap right here on the
floor, that's a fresh pile ofcrap. It's old food, but it's
a fresh pile of shit. Youknow. Now if I shit on the
floor, now leave it there fora day, even a couple of hours,
maybe where it gets that nice crustover it, you know I'm talking
about. That's days. Yeah,isn't it ship? Because it is stuff

(19:34):
that they digested, That stuff theycouldn't like, they couldn't digest. Your
body couldn't absorb it and absorb it, so that no vomit is you couldn't
eat it, like your body couldn'thandle it. Rejected like that fucking olive
oil last. Oh god, we'llcome back to that. Yeah. I
thought when you shit, you diddigest everything. It makes it through your

(19:56):
digestive system. It's what your bodycould not break. It's what you're he
could not break down. Oh Ithought your body broke it all down and
turned it into shit. Maybe I'mprobably wrong, but that is the stuff
you couldn't That's why if you chewgum, you pass it because you can't
break it down, right, doesn'tsit in your body for yeah, seven

(20:18):
years and get digested or certain leaves. Yeah, because your body can't break
it down. It's pretty simple.You just google what is poop and this
is what it tells you. Shit. You're welcome, folks. This is
the magic. This is what separatesus from everyone else. You've been we've

(20:41):
been getting as the magic right overten years being the station. What's the
magic? It's deciding and figuring outwhat is made up of your shit?
Yes, it says here, sometimescalled stool or feces. Sure, your
poop is what's left of your foodand drink after your body absworbs important nutrients.

(21:02):
What and how you eat affects yourdigestive system and sometimes your bell movements.
Yeah, so there you go.Yeah, if you are a too
chew swallower, you're gonna your fuckinglife's gonna be fucked up. If you
chew to liquid, it'll be You'resupposed to have an easier time digesting food.
I'll keep that in mind, Yeah, because I am a fast eater.

(21:22):
And what do you what do youfeed chickens? What do they eat?
Uh? Corn? Yeah, feedchicken feed. Probably Now it's some
sort of scientifically designed to make theirboobies big, right, cost you way
too much. Yeah, like thatexpensive dog food at the grocery store or
whatever. Probably some sort of pelletcorn feed. My grandparents had chickens and

(21:47):
we fed them trash, okay,So like she would not not like cardboard
um, any food that was leftover, left over scrap, she would.
We had a special can and afterdinner. My job when I was
there it was to take it outto the coop. Oh god, I
was so fucking scared. And togo into the coop because she didn't want
it right by the gate because shewas like, I can't get in.

(22:10):
You have to do it in theback corner or along the back of the
coup. Right, because they do. We all gathered there. Yes,
yes, if you put it bythe gate, I can't open it or
then get out. It's just itattracts at other animals. It's not a
good idea, and I'd have togo in the funk. I get so
scared because they knew. Yeah,you don't want him attacking you, right,
but they did. Yeah. Yeah. They had a dog called named

(22:36):
a Lightning. And Lightning was noton there's no fence. It was a
farm and Lightning would run fucking everywhereand you would come out with this thing
and so it was a lab andit would be covered in mud and fuck
everything. And I was like,get that fucking dog away from me.
Yeah, it's donk And they're like, what do we care, it's a
fucking dog outside dog. Yeah,where's Lightning? I don't know. I

(22:56):
haven't seen it. I seen himin a while. Worried, right,
just pop up one day? Yeah, and uh, anyway, so Lightning
would know because you hear the fuckingclassic screen door bang and go out with
the fucking Lightning would show up andI'd walk to the coop and he'd wait,
like, let that mother fucking chickenout. I'm gonna fucking get it

(23:19):
at those fucking chickens, torture thefuck out of me, try to get
in like behind you right so here. I am fucking scared of death.
I don't want fucking this dog jumpingon me, trying to keep the fucking
dog out. Did they fucking nine? Did they know that you were scared
the chickens? Your grandparents? Ohyeah, I ain't youve a fuck grow

(23:40):
up? My grandmother was four toseven. My grandfather was a cook in
the navy and was a gunner inPearl Harbor. In Pearl Harbor, my
he came back worked on the lineat General Motors. And while he went
to work every day, unbeknownst tohim, my grandmother, all four seven

(24:00):
of her, bought the plot ofland with her money she had been saving
working while he was overseas to build. Bought land and built a fucking house.
Wow, while raising five fucking kids. My grandma and grandpa did not
give two fucks if I was scared. Oh, I remember being like nine

(24:23):
or twelve, nine, ten,eleven, twelve, something like that,
and uh, we'd go visit andhe'd be like, all right, we're
gonna chop wood and I'll be like, fuck why, He's like, yeah,
you're chopping wood the whole fucking week. We would be there. That's
all I did, was chopped fuckingwood. Yeah, Ji, people to
do shit. Well, I onlyhires people to do ship because I can

(24:48):
afford to do that and my fuckingtime is worth it in my opinion,
right, yeah, but it haszero to do with I'll fucking grind it
out. I am afraid of fuckingwork. But if I can pay someone
to do it, why the fucknot. Absolutely think we've made that point
in our when we could do thatsort of thing. And what I didn't
get to finish was I would takethat fucking week back in a second,
right, a fucking second. Atthe time, it sucked, but look

(25:10):
like, man, to all Ihad to do is get up and chop
wood, and then we go outto the fucking fields and pull corn off
and tomatoes, go to the auctionat night. Right. Fuck, it
was awesome. It was awesome.Yeah, no responsibilities, just get up
work, do what your grandparents soldshould do. Yeah. Man, Yeah,

(25:33):
they had this hammock that hedge appleswould fall off of and we'd throw
hedge apples and my fucking grandma wouldcome out there, all four seven of
her, and pull a fucking branchoff the weeping willow and fucking whoop our
ass. Oh yeah. My brotherwho's taller than me, especially at that
time, he would he would belike you, and she'd fucking whip the

(25:55):
ship out of his legs. Ohmy god. My grandma's favorite was a
house You sure, one pink gass, floppy ass fucking house shoe, And
don't fucking run from her, becauseonce she catches you up to you done
Zoe, done zoe. Yeah,yeah, good times. The The other
thing that I remember is they hadan outhouse, and I remember taking a

(26:17):
shit outside or going piss and thenwatch it going out of the and then
stepping over the little trench and itwould flow by. Yeah, like stick
races when we were kids. Yeahyeah, but just different kinds of logs.
Yeah, yeah, fucking on.Never forget that place. Yeah,

(26:37):
I take it the imagine they soldit after, you know, everybody passed.
So like my grandma got cancer andfor the longest time she just fucking
had a hole in her throat,and she made quilts and she made this
thing to put around her hole becauseshe would talk or do whatever, and
fucking shit would fly out of itand she didn't give a fuck, try

(27:00):
to yell at us make good foodright all that she got cancer and then
uh, she wasn't doing well.My grandfather raced to be there with her.
Uh he tripped, fell on aspace eater. They didn't find him.
The next morning. He had likeburns over like a ridiculous amount of
his body, and my dad hadto side mom my aunt. My dad
had to decide to pull the plugon him, saying he wouldn't want to

(27:22):
live like that. And then ummy uncle who uh whatever drama drama.
He was like, I want itright, But he hadn't had a sex
successful you know, time frame oflife, no more than like a month

(27:42):
or two right for whatever reason.Right, So it's like, why we're
gonna give you this, Yeah,if you can't maintain So he but he
took possession of it. And thenuh, funny thing about the government,
they want their taxes, so theyjust fucking took it. Yeah, And
my we had my grandfather had acontract with the government to create feed like

(28:03):
grass. They would come harvest ittwice a year and take it away for
um blm, your oldly management,and I have to feed wild animals and
stuff wild cattle and stuff like thaton those ranges. And so they took
it because they knew the taxes weren'tgonna be paid. They already had a
fucking inn on it, right,And then I'm giving you way too much
information. And then vants down theroad who owned rodeo cattle right, raised

(28:29):
bucking horses, and he was goodfriends and helped, he helped he found
my grandfather when he was which uponreflection, there's I have a lot of
questions about all that, but um, they were he came and bought it
from the government and now he hasturned it into part of his empire.
Oh okay, so you could stillgo to that location and probably still see

(28:51):
the house and the farm, thebarn and all that ship. That's kind
of where I was hidden. No, because my uncle did not take care
of it, and so a lotof it was falling apart. He's knocked
all that down god or Land,but he's kept some of the My grandparents
had big signposts, had the CJPstuff on it. Okay, so it
still pays homage to Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's still quite clear it's

(29:11):
their land and stuff like that.That's cool. Yeah. My brother's like,
do you want to buy a bag? And I'm like, fucking though,
why not? Because what for what? Yeah, I don't know,
go make your kids go chop woodor something that I don't know. You
got a nice vacation place, youknow, when you don't want to go
to Aruba or Paris, You're like, let's go to Iowa to the farm.

(29:33):
I know you think I have fuckyou money, but I don't have
fuck you money to like just buyshit. I don't need buy a farm
for no reason. Yeah, likebecause I want it. Like that's not
a good reason. It has tobe a fiscal decision. And that's not
a smart one that makes sense.Yeah'd be like, Matt, Damon,
we bought a zoo, right farmright now? I'll buy that. Like
you're in a moment and you're like, yeah, let's fuck let's buy a

(29:55):
zoo all right. Like if mywife was gonna work from home and I
was like, I'm gonna be afarmer, okay, but I have no
desire to be a farmer. Peopledon't. People underestimate how hard it is
to be a farmer. Hard couldhave been men put deceived in the ground,
it grows on the town. Yeah, you'll pay it an overprice because

(30:17):
the corporate corporate farmers are buying itat a cheaper rate already, so you
pay more than they do, andthen they get a better rate on return.
You get a lesser rate because yourcrops aren't as good because they're using
all these scientific people and they havea workforce that could do it faster than
you can. So by the timeyou get the crop in, it's almost
too late. Right, It ain'tfucking easy, but it is all natural.

(30:37):
People don't know that farmers mortgage there. They make a lot of money
for like two days and then theyhave to turn around and pay off all
the loans they've had for the year, and then to turn on take out
more loans and do it a fuckinggain. Right, it's really not worth
it. It's about pride at thatpoint, hard work. You're a farmer,
right for everybody? Man the week? Yeah, not for the week,

(30:59):
financially, week's stomached. We readCharlotte's Web to my kids. They
love that book and no kids,and so uh, I always think about
like they're farmers and like you're justasking for fucking trouble. Like, God
damn, you're worried about some runtpig. Man, They're all fucking count
There's no way the runt ain't good, right. The fucking taste Delicia tastes

(31:22):
just like the bacon. I'm sure, just fucking killing bacon. The odd
pig who doesn't have a teat.They're just like fucking killing So crazy to
me. I'm like, just geta bottle, no way, slaughter it,
baby bacon. Yeah, all right, you guys have a great week.
Yeah, blah blah,