Episode Transcript
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(00:21):
Class. All right, little bitafter three o'clock is our time here.
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You're listening to the speakeasy. Weare joined by the great Dan McDowell,
heard on radio waves and our fairfor years and years now. You can
check out his podcast, The DumbZone. Thank you, Kemp, Yeah,
(01:11):
and whoever else they Blake may haveon it. Yeah, Blake Jones
is a part of this too.Let's not leave him out. How's he
doing? He's kind of spare.Yeah, that's what I always thought too.
Boy hats too. Yeah, yourguys' audio sounds a lot better since
(01:33):
he exists, though, tell youthat I will have to give you that's
important part of the format too.Yeah. Apparently you can find them on
Patreon patreon dot com slash of theDumb Zone. You can hit that subscribe
button because kind all this great promotionwe're getting today, it's important. Yeah,
(01:53):
it matters. Just hold on tothat gift card there. Okay,
all right, fine, given toomuch, go to Kenny's. You come
up here and be on our show. We make it worth your while.
Well, scratch my back, we'llsee that's it. Do you know the
exact number of members before you gothere? Wait to see if we get
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you any Uh, yeah, Imight have an idea that Yeah, okay,
I checked that this morning, twohundred and thirty five. K.
Do you get the email ever everyonetimes someone signs up. I never turned
that off. I like getting thoselittle emails. Well maybe you would turn
it off if you had as many. Yes, Wow, I don't think
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I would. Wow my soul.You know, this guy really hadn't changed
that much. Now, I washoping for more growth. Well that's why
I got the bluch you you know, I tied that in. You get
that hooked up in the brake,tied it all together. So what was
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your Amsterdam experience? Oh, Amsterdamitself, you know, took a bike
tour, did some stuff in Amsterdam. And I've always heard the resiants the
bike stuff is next level. Likepeople in the weird nerdy parts of Twitter
that I'm in will regularly post picturesof or like videos of Amsterdam rush hour
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and it's just people on bikes,no cars. Is that how it really
is? Or are they lying tome? Cars do defer to bikes.
It's a different world. That's prettygreat. Yeah, it's great walking city.
The bike tour was great because wehad a guide who stop us now
and again and tell us about thisold building and this old building, and
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you know, with their their accentand stuff. So it was kind of
like the ghost tour, and Ithink you should leave where they're making really
dumb jokes. But I was laughinghard because when you tell it with an
English second language, then you're like, well, I appreciate that you've crafted
a joke. At least that good. The accent makes it a little bit
funnier. Yeah, do they makeyou put on wooden shoes? That's a
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good question. I did not weara clog, did anyone? I didn't
see any clogging, okay, butyeah, I did separate myself from my
family for a while, as Iwill do on any vacation. Yeah,
this is too bad that you didn'thave a rental car in this because your
normal move is to get two rentalcars to let them know. In this
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case, did you just buy yourown metro pass? You just can't really
announce in the formal way that youdo in a trip to Cleveland. Right.
Well, when I go to Cleveland, that's where I'm from originally,
So I have my set of friends, wife has her set of friends,
and I'm just like, hey,I'm getting my own rental car and I'll
be seeing you every evening at somepoint. And you know, we do
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our separate things, which is great. And Amsterdam, did you tell her,
Hey, I'm gonna go knock thedust off this thing. And no,
but I did walk. You know, there are times when they just
want to move a little faster thanI want to move. So I'm like,
Okay, you guys do your thingand I'll just kind of mosy around.
So I'm mosing around and I wasmosying around, not really paying attention,
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didn't know where I was going,just enjoying, just walking. Not
shockingly, ended up in the redlight district. Berry Mike Ryne, Okay,
so that's what happened. So nowI'm walking along. Yeah, I
just ended up there. I hadheard about the red light district, but
I just was walking and I'm takingleft. I'm just trying to figure out
where I'm going. And then nowI'm on this little street. It's a
street, but it's all a walkingstreet, you know, like you could
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barely fit one car down it ifyou wanted to. And I'm just walking
along, not paying attention. Andthen out of the corner of my eye,
I saw a mannequin and then Isee the mannequin move and then I
looked and the man and is beckoningme, hey, come on in here.
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Well, it wasn't a mannequin,it was a full window, but
it was a human. It wasa really hot like the hottest human you've
ever seen. Yeah, And shewas wearing some kind of a bikini or
lingerie or some kind of a NightWare. And she was beckoning you to come
in right, And I was like, whoa, what's a Oh, I've
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heard about this. This is crazyhow you just were walking Amsterdam. And
then a couple doors down, thenthere's another lady and she's wanting she doesn't
want me to go into that otherlady. She wants me to go in
to see her. So all agot up around left and right, and
I notice I am in the heartof the red light district. That's where
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I now am. And I couldunderstand why they were interested in me.
Of course, a good looking Americanguy right in that suit. They could
tell you were very successful. Iwas happening. This guy doesn't wear clogs,
kind of a latter day Travolta look. But I did not go in
any of those places. I didwalk by something called the Prostitution Museum.
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There's like a prostitute museum. Yeah, who would you put in the Prostitute
Hall of Fame, Mike, Idon't know. I would have to have
some sort of encounter with a fewof them first. Who Stormy Daniels,
Yeah, yeah, if Stormy wouldJulia Roberts. I think I've just run
through all the prostitutes. I knowI've never paid for a Lady of the
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Evening, and I feel like that'sa bright line in my life. You
know, Uh, just feels goodbeing the kind of person I guet.
I mean, if you want toexamine that further, I guess you could
and make it. Make this stanceall be a bit silly, But spend
any money on your wife before youguys first made whoopee. That doesn't don't
be one of those. It's justit's just how you want to pay for
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it. But whenever you are walkout by right now, that's right.
You may not think you're paying forit, but you're paying for it whatever
you are walking by that window,and it's like if I just like pick
ten steps and like it's not whatever, like bad idea of a prostitute.
You have, it's that lady.That's the most beautiful lady I've ever seen.
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Like, no, you might wantto throw it all away. Yeah
yeah, In fact, it couldbe the best decision you've ever met.
Why should that be throwing it away? Why couldn't she understand? You know,
it's really kind of a jerk.She's a jerk if she doesn't if
you want to be with a jerk. So she had the opportunity to be
with the hottest guy she's ever seen, and just one time. It's not
like you're a long term relationship,an emotional sixty euros something of this nature.
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Yeah quick, I mean who couldn'tunderstand that? It's very understandable.
I think you just would return toyour lover and you would say you were
owed one like you got one.I mean, you don't even have to
explain anything. You're already separate fromthe group, not going to see what
you do. If you show backup and say, you know, yeah,
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I thought they didn't have a chocolatecovered waffle, you don't even have
to give them that much. Butif you want to play straight up,
then you tell her what you didand say Okay, balls in your court.
You're, oh, he'll play.But I do think this about because
I had heard about the Red LightDistrict for years and there's a pot bars
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and there's hookers and all this goingthose I thought you just ended up there.
No, I never I never didfind a hash bar. I did
just happen upon it. I amnot joking about that, Jeff Kavanaugh.
I don't believe you. Everything isnot a joke. You must know that
some things are pretty serious, likethis story. And I did think though
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in the end, it's felt likeif you read about old Vegas and how
scummy it is, but then yougo there now and it's like, you
know, families, It's like it'salmost like it's a bit. Amsterdam felt
like a bit to me, likeI'm in the Red Light District, but
you know there it felt it feltlike a bachelorette party or something. There.
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There was always you know there,you know how bachelorette parties at strip
clubs or something that's all like bits. It's it's you're being sold an idea
of a thing that stopped being thatthing a long time ago. And it
wasn't seedy and disgusting. It waslike a lot of young guys just saw,
oh look at this, Oh mygosh, look at this, and
it was it was just bros.And it wasn't really the underbelly of society.
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It was. It just seemed likeso many people. It was very
touristy. We're all here to seethis crazy thing. But you know,
the tourists so far out weigh thelocals. You could probably get some stuff
going. I'm sure you could havegone and had some pleasure with that lady
the mannequin in the window. WhenI was there in two thousand and six,
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I'd say it felt a little littleCD then really there the most like
distinct thing of like something like mostof it's just like a feel, you
know, and like they whenever they'reI mean, you know I was.
I was very young and impressionable.So whenever they're advertising shows that felt threatening
to me. In somewhat threatening mightnot be the right word, but you
know, ladies shooting ping pong ballsback and forth at each other, things
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like that. It just all seemeda little extreme. But how does that
work? That work? I didnot go in. I can't tell you
anymore. I just know what theywere offering, so they told you that
was what was going to be goingon in there, something like that they
could pass and catch. I mean, I don't know if they can,
you know, I don't know.It's all a little fuzzy. I didn't
want to know more. It's kindof like where how Dude Perfect started?
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Yeah, I have seen that.I haven't seen that clip. But the
most concrete thing was, you knowthat it's kind of like Venice. There's
a bunch of canals, you know, like this, the city is pretty
navigable by boat, and so there'sa lot of bridges over the canals and
on just about every bridge I canrecall in the red Light district there was
a guy just standing on the bridgejust muttering cocaine, cocaine, cocaine,
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heroin cocaine. You could get thathere? Oh, kind of like a
scalper. Yeah, yeah, nice. You have to be kind of close
to him to hear what you're saying. But I guess the pools probably you're
familiar with a bit by now,but like, you know, you could
buy pot in the shops and everything, but it was apparent that anything else
you wanted there was guy to goto. The guy in the bridge.
Yeah, which one did you optfor? Nothing? I was a clean
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living back then, all right,are you no? No? No?
Which would which would you opt for? Now? If you had shrooms?
How about the blue? I don'tdo anything. You can be sent to
rehab for. People go to rehabfor cocaine, heroin, alcohol, all
right, So to clear it up, what do people not go to rehab
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for everything else? Acid? Youdon't drink pot, rehab for drinking,
that's right. Yeah, cocaine.No, Cocaine's a rehab drug. I
don't do rehab drug. Herb herb. No one ever goes through the Mary
Jane for marijuana. Uh, youcan got a sex reheb. Yeah,
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So I don't do that, SoI don't do that. Money is different
sizes. That's pretty. If youhave like a twenty euro bill and a
ten euro bill, the ten issmaller and then the five is smaller than
that. I don't know if it'scool. It just seemed really weird,
did you. It's weird because itdoesn't because you're so accustomed for your entire
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life. Had you been before,had you been to Europe? No?
Okay, because when I got yourlike euros for the first time. Whatever,
Yeah, here have some have somehave some. It doesn't even seem
real because you're just so used tothe one currency. It looks a bit
like monopoly money. Yeah right,yeah, so it's just like I'll buy
whatever I got more of these things, Like they're just a little couponts.
They're not money money, even thoughthey clearly are in the one and two
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euros are always coins. So thefact you can drop some coins in someone's
yad that be ten dollars, yeah, it does. Yeah, you can
get skewed pretty fast. And I'dlike to defend France for a moment,
please, as many have done throughoutthe years, not vigorously enough, based
on what so. France is veryIt's obviously very cultured, very beautiful.
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There's a lot of the buildings arereally old, like insane, Like I
think the apartment that we stayed inwas built and people were staying in this
apartment building or this building of somesort when the biggest, the tallest structure
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here was a tepee. Wow,Oh you mean like Dallas. Yeah,
I'm just saying I got it.In the United States, the biggest thing
was a tepee. And like inFrance, these buildings are you know,
four hundred years old, like it'sinsane. Yeah, we're And then they
have the Notre Dame Cathedral, youknow, the Louver. You're like,
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oh when they opened the Louver,I don't know, fifteen twenty five or
you know, it's insane, likeand so. And the Notre Dame Cathedral
obviously before it burned down was isamazing and everything. They're rebuilding it so
you can't go in right now,no, okay, uh, scaffolding all
around it and stuff. But they'reworking on it. And I can see.
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Here's what I want to say aboutFrance. I can see why they
surrendered quickly in World War Two becauseif you faced I'm going to bomb the
hell out of everything in Paris,or look, let's surrender and just hope
somebody else saves us. I thinkI would do that if I had all
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that priceless like you're facing an enemythat didn't care about that stuff. Right,
Well, you didn't make it overto Germany, but they took that
other route and you can tell Germanyyeah yeah, yeah, but they were
the one the bombers, not thebomb ease. Oh people did some bombing
on them, that's what I mean. Yeah, but at first when they
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went into it, they weren't thinkinganybody's gonna bomb us. They were like,
yeah, we they were pretty uhhad a real egocentric Uh. Yeah.
They thought we showed them, didn'tthey. But I'm just saying,
you can see the counterfactory. There'sno Notre doms in Berlin. But I
would guess like they were bombing thehell out of your England, right yeah,
yeah, yeah yeah. So butI think of anyone in the conflict,
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Germany caught the worst of it.I think anything above like four stories
was rubble as they probably should have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, say
I'm not I don't. I wouldn'twant to know one's trying about Germany.
Yeah, but they bombed a lotof stuff. We bombed a lot of
stuff. Is it Berlin Wall stillup? There's parts of it where you
can just kind of go by andsay, isn't that cool? But for
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the most part now have a lotof graffiti and stuff on it. Yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah. Didthey tear down that wall because Reagan told
them to you? Right? Yeah, I think you tear it down?
Yeah, think Floyd did it.I was hearing something guy. It's probably
a couple of years ago now,at this point that there was never a
decision to tear down the wall.There was an erroneous radio report that they
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were thinking about tearing it down,and everyone in Berlin rushed down there and
wanted to see the tearing down.And the guy, you know, there
was like a regular staff at thecheckpoint. So there's like two guys that
are like, guys, please don'ttear it down. And they just didn't
listen to it. You know,like eventually the over the radio that people
were like, just let him tearit down. We can't. We don't
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have another recourse at this point.So it was never like a government's decision
of like it's time for the wallto go. It just you know,
they kind of lost control of thething because of this radio report. It
really shows the power of radio.Yeah, yeah, you should use that
in the sales pitch. Yeah,this is what brought down the wall.
No podcast has ever done that.No it has ever gotten a wall torn
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down, and they never will.Uh well, we're out of walls at
least those kind right, Yeah,I mean we're any walls anymore. Don't
we have one between us and Mexico. I don't think that we do.
We do I mean kind, Idon't think it ever got Well that maybe
that's the wall we can get torndown. We got to finish building.
Do you think your podcast can getthat wall taken down? And there one
(18:27):
in China? There is kind?Yeah, the Great Wall? Yeah,
Okay, there's still walls. Okay, we'll work on that one. What
I heard another little fun fact foryou. I think it would take six
hours by plane to travel the distanceof the China Great Wall of China.
It's a very big wall, sohow long would it take to walk it?
(18:48):
Months? I had heard that thered Light district in Amsterdam that there's
I think the government there is definitelyexcited about what you're saying of like it's
no longer CD and I think thatI think they think it's a big pain
in the butt that every single bachelorparty in Europe is descending on this one
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part of their city. So I'dheard that they no longer allowed for the
curtains to be open in the RedLight district. But it sounds like you're
saying that's definitely not true. Right, Well, there were no open curtains
on nudity, but she was wearingyou know, she had the three main
points covered up. Yeah, Ithink that I saw nudity. Yeah,
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I definitely saw nudy. Okay,yeah, now I was down there totally,
totally. It might have had abottom. Amsterdam dot info slash red
light districts in your own show overhere. More or less, they do
admit that it used to be CDon Amsterdam dot info. Uh huh,
And they say, yes, contraryto what a lot of people might assume,
the Amsterdam red light district has afriendly atmosphere and isn't as dangerous as
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it used to be. So youprobably did see a different version. Yeah,
And I had heard the term redlight district, like people in my
group had said those words in sequencebefore. But so I had some idea
that it was this thing. Neverin a million years did I think what
they meant by that was there wasnaked women behind glass lining every street and
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that you just walk down and thisis where you were. I was blowed
away. But SKI think you werea clean boy at that point. It
is a good thing, otherwise youwould have died. Your tea must have
been much higher, though I'm surprisedyou didn't. It was not have enough
money or what was the deal?I mean, I certainly didn't have any
extra money. And beyond that,I don't you know. I was recently
(20:45):
out of rehab they had Really doesit have to do with that? Did
they lower your tea level at rehab? They don't lower your tea level.
But it was, I mean,I don't know, it's a whole thing,
but it was. It was runby the women. They had had
a mental wall, yes, erected. Yeah. It's not like they're just
telling you don't do drugs and whateverelse you do, we don't care.
It was an entire, full life, whole life. Yeah. It was
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cult like in aspects that they wantedto control every aspect of your decision making?
Was it? Was it faith based? The schooling? Yeah kinda,
okay. The apartment I stayed atwas directly I could see from our apartment
window where Princess Diana died. That'samazing. Yeah, I love that.
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So I would wake up and prayto that every morning. Though I haven't
follow up. There some sort ofPrincess Diana and her ghost? Did you
develop? Yeah? I wondered ifyou learned the name Dodi al Fayad.
I knew it, Okay, Ijust never know about Dan's grasp of world
history. Well, do you,like, you know, leave a flower
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there for every day you were there. What you do is, so there's
a there, there's a chain andI can't remember why, my daughter explained
it to me, but what youdo is you take a lock, like
a I guess a bike lock orjust whatever, what do you call it?
Just a little lock, combination combinationlock, and you put it on
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the chain and like you write yourname on it or something, and then
you're it's got some symbolism of something. They're big on that in France.
Yeah, so like this whole chainhas a you know, a thousand locks
on it, and that's your bitas you're supposed to bring your lock and
lock it on there, and thenyou're supporting something of a couple. People
have started to do that around aroundWhite Rock and I'm disgusted by it.
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Get your own bit. You're notFrench. That's a France thing. Yeah,
there's a big bridge over the Seine, the big river there where uh
you know, the whole thing's coveredin locks and it's not the river khy
no, No, that's that's anasia. Did you have any favorite bakeries?
What was your dining experience, likedining was cool. I don't.
(23:04):
I don't have a place that wasthe favorite. I mean I guess,
yeah, we got to go intoone place every morning where they had just
yeah that's unbelievable. Uh, youknow, little sandwiches and they would have
a salmon sand like every everything seemedlike it was so you know, eats,
He's timed one hundred type things likejust so well chef crafted, and
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like once you go over there,you can kind of tell that places like
Eatsi's that's what they're going for.Yeah, you know, like they saw
it and they were like, ifwe could get one of these in grape
Vine, it would blow people's minds. Yeah, and it does, Like
I love Eatsi's as you know.And then yeah, there's a lot of
places in France that are like that. Yeah, hasn't really blown people's minds
in Grapevine. I think it has. Dan eats their every meal. I've
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interviewed a lot of people in Grapevine. Okay, they're almost speech Yeah,
I'm just a little bit of senseabout it myself. But I will defer
to you. But the food doesseem so I did, like I said,
I lived in Mexico when I wasyoung for a while, a college
semester, and I always thought everythingthere was a cut below, like even
(24:11):
if you went to a chain restaurantor you went to a pizza hut.
In Mexico, it felt like bythe cheese is jake not as good,
Like everything felt a little less goodand I couldn't wait to get back,
Whereas in France, everything felt justa tiny bit better, Like the pasta
tasted better for like the sauce onit. Everything tasted fresher, Like the
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strawberries were better that you know,anything you got the sandwiches at the deli
were you know, a pastry wasjust everything was a little bit better about
squash. I never had that.I was always blown away by the McNuggets.
You actually went to McDonald's because ofpulp fiction? No, no,
(24:56):
no, I don't know. It'sin France, specifically in Europe. Whenever
I was living there, I hada McDonald's plenty of times. Do they
actually do French fries and mayonnaise?Like John Giboltza said, I don't know.
I didn't. I did never.They didn't make me. But the
you would think, why don't theycall it the quarter pounder. They don't
have the metrics or they use themetric systems. The Royal Whi cheese,
(25:25):
you know what they called the BigMac? What led Big Mac? So
not what do they call it?Roper? I didn't get to bury the
I convinced that the chicken nugget standardsare just higher. Really it has to
be. I mean, for one, do you know they now use the
processed stuff and the steroids to pumpup the chickens. It's still McDonald So
(25:48):
I'm sure there's some of that.Yeah, but based on eating a ton
of McNuggets in both places, I'mpositive that Europe's McNuggets are a different deal.
They're much use here. Delicious orthat's not a word, it could
be okay. Yeah. I didn'twant to go to a chain restaurant though.
Yeah. No, if you're therefor a week, that would be
(26:10):
insane. It was like, yeah, although they did. Where was it?
I think it wasn't Amsterdam. Theyhad to Ripley's believe it or not?
What? Yeah, I don't believeit. I'd rather not believe it.
I mean, I took some picturesjust to illustrate, but yeah,
so, I mean, if youwant to. Uh, you could go
to San Antonio or Yah, whichone's better? Or you can go to
(26:34):
Amsterdam. I didn't at the grocerystores were weird, or at least the
ones I was in, Like theyhad a whole aisle called biscuits, Like
you have an isle now for youknow cereal, They had one just for
biscuits and it we love biscuits,just different kinds of biscuits. Yeah,
I think that means crackers too tothem. I don't know. It's a
(26:56):
really good I could never get ahandle on their grocery scene. It was
confusing to me. There's no targetsover there, Tom thumbs, Yeah,
here it is Ripley's believe it ornot. It was right next to a
TJ Max. Hell so I tooka picture of it, just show the
the excitement I found in Amsterdam withit. Yeah. Hey guys, we
(27:18):
had to go seven and a halfminutes ago. Oh all right, well,
hey, thanks for having me.I was just going to see I
don't know, TC. We're gonnaask Dan if you wanted to do?
Yeah, what do you want?I think I might have to roll soon.
We'll see what happened to Dan willbe here or he won't. Why
why do you have to take breaks? Oh so we have advertisers. Oh
(27:38):
darn it. Yeah, eat yourheart out. I wish I did Patreon
dot com slash the dumb zone,but I don't think Dan's gone. So
we'll be back in a minute.How about that. Remember we're in here
saying what we want, all right, so pervid get that
Class. All right, little bitafter three o'clock is our time here.
(00:50):
You're listening to the speakeasy. Weare joined by the great Dan McDowell,
heard on radio waves and our fairfor years and years now. You can
check out his podcast, The DumbZone. Thank you, Kemp, Yeah,
(01:11):
and whoever else they Blake may haveon it. Yeah, Blake Jones
is a part of this too.Let's not leave him out. How's he
doing? He's kind of spare.Yeah, that's what I always thought too.
Boy hats too. Yeah, yourguys' audio sounds a lot better since
(01:33):
he exists, though, tell youthat I will have to give you that's
important part of the format too.Yeah. Apparently you can find them on
Patreon patreon dot com slash of theDumb Zone. You can hit that subscribe
button because kind all this great promotionwe're getting today, it's important. Yeah,
(01:53):
it matters. Just hold on tothat gift card there. Okay,
all right, fine, given toomuch, go to Kenny's. You come
up here and be on our show. We make it worth your while.
Well, scratch my back, we'llsee that's it. Do you know the
exact number of members before you gothere? Wait to see if we get
(02:15):
you any Uh, yeah, Imight have an idea that Yeah, okay,
I checked that this morning, twohundred and thirty five. K.
Do you get the email ever everyonetimes someone signs up. I never turned
that off. I like getting thoselittle emails. Well maybe you would turn
it off if you had as many. Yes, Wow, I don't think
(02:38):
I would. Wow my soul.You know, this guy really hadn't changed
that much. Now, I washoping for more growth. Well that's why
I got the bluch you you know, I tied that in. You get
that hooked up in the brake,tied it all together. So what was
(03:00):
your Amsterdam experience? Oh, Amsterdamitself, you know, took a bike
tour, did some stuff in Amsterdam. And I've always heard the resiants the
bike stuff is next level. Likepeople in the weird nerdy parts of Twitter
that I'm in will regularly post picturesof or like videos of Amsterdam rush hour
(03:23):
and it's just people on bikes,no cars. Is that how it really
is? Or are they lying tome? Cars do defer to bikes.
It's a different world. That's prettygreat. Yeah, it's great walking city.
The bike tour was great because wehad a guide who stop us now
and again and tell us about thisold building and this old building, and
(03:46):
you know, with their their accentand stuff. So it was kind of
like the ghost tour, and Ithink you should leave where they're making really
dumb jokes. But I was laughinghard because when you tell it with an
English second language, then you're like, well, I appreciate that you've crafted
a joke. At least that good. The accent makes it a little bit
funnier. Yeah, do they makeyou put on wooden shoes? That's a
(04:11):
good question. I did not weara clog, did anyone? I didn't
see any clogging, okay, butyeah, I did separate myself from my
family for a while, as Iwill do on any vacation. Yeah,
this is too bad that you didn'thave a rental car in this because your
normal move is to get two rentalcars to let them know. In this
(04:32):
case, did you just buy yourown metro pass? You just can't really
announce in the formal way that youdo in a trip to Cleveland. Right.
Well, when I go to Cleveland, that's where I'm from originally,
So I have my set of friends, wife has her set of friends,
and I'm just like, hey,I'm getting my own rental car and I'll
be seeing you every evening at somepoint. And you know, we do
(04:55):
our separate things, which is great. And Amsterdam, did you tell her,
Hey, I'm gonna go knock thedust off this thing. And no,
but I did walk. You know, there are times when they just
want to move a little faster thanI want to move. So I'm like,
Okay, you guys do your thingand I'll just kind of mosy around.
So I'm mosing around and I wasmosying around, not really paying attention,
(05:15):
didn't know where I was going,just enjoying, just walking. Not
shockingly, ended up in the redlight district. Berry Mike Ryne, Okay,
so that's what happened. So nowI'm walking along. Yeah, I
just ended up there. I hadheard about the red light district, but
I just was walking and I'm takingleft. I'm just trying to figure out
where I'm going. And then nowI'm on this little street. It's a
street, but it's all a walkingstreet, you know, like you could
(05:39):
barely fit one car down it ifyou wanted to. And I'm just walking
along, not paying attention. Andthen out of the corner of my eye,
I saw a mannequin and then Isee the mannequin move and then I
looked and the man and is beckoningme, hey, come on in here.
(06:03):
Well, it wasn't a mannequin,it was a full window, but
it was a human. It wasa really hot like the hottest human you've
ever seen. Yeah, And shewas wearing some kind of a bikini or
lingerie or some kind of a NightWare. And she was beckoning you to come
in right, And I was like, whoa, what's a Oh, I've
(06:26):
heard about this. This is crazyhow you just were walking Amsterdam. And
then a couple doors down, thenthere's another lady and she's wanting she doesn't
want me to go into that otherlady. She wants me to go in
to see her. So all agot up around left and right, and
I notice I am in the heartof the red light district. That's where
(06:46):
I now am. And I couldunderstand why they were interested in me.
Of course, a good looking Americanguy right in that suit. They could
tell you were very successful. Iwas happening. This guy doesn't wear clogs,
kind of a latter day Travolta look. But I did not go in
any of those places. I didwalk by something called the Prostitution Museum.
(07:13):
There's like a prostitute museum. Yeah, who would you put in the Prostitute
Hall of Fame, Mike, Idon't know. I would have to have
some sort of encounter with a fewof them first. Who Stormy Daniels,
Yeah, yeah, if Stormy wouldJulia Roberts. I think I've just run
through all the prostitutes. I knowI've never paid for a Lady of the
(07:35):
Evening, and I feel like that'sa bright line in my life. You
know, Uh, just feels goodbeing the kind of person I guet.
I mean, if you want toexamine that further, I guess you could
and make it. Make this stanceall be a bit silly, But spend
any money on your wife before youguys first made whoopee. That doesn't don't
be one of those. It's justit's just how you want to pay for
(07:57):
it. But whenever you are walkout by right now, that's right.
You may not think you're paying forit, but you're paying for it whatever
you are walking by that window,and it's like if I just like pick
ten steps and like it's not whatever, like bad idea of a prostitute.
You have, it's that lady.That's the most beautiful lady I've ever seen.
(08:18):
Like, no, you might wantto throw it all away. Yeah
yeah, In fact, it couldbe the best decision you've ever met.
Why should that be throwing it away? Why couldn't she understand? You know,
it's really kind of a jerk.She's a jerk if she doesn't if
you want to be with a jerk. So she had the opportunity to be
with the hottest guy she's ever seen, and just one time. It's not
like you're a long term relationship,an emotional sixty euros something of this nature.
(08:41):
Yeah quick, I mean who couldn'tunderstand that? It's very understandable.
I think you just would return toyour lover and you would say you were
owed one like you got one.I mean, you don't even have to
explain anything. You're already separate fromthe group, not going to see what
you do. If you show backup and say, you know, yeah,
(09:03):
I thought they didn't have a chocolatecovered waffle, you don't even have
to give them that much. Butif you want to play straight up,
then you tell her what you didand say Okay, balls in your court.
You're, oh, he'll play.But I do think this about because
I had heard about the Red LightDistrict for years and there's a pot bars
(09:24):
and there's hookers and all this goingthose I thought you just ended up there.
No, I never I never didfind a hash bar. I did
just happen upon it. I amnot joking about that, Jeff Kavanaugh.
I don't believe you. Everything isnot a joke. You must know that
some things are pretty serious, likethis story. And I did think though
(09:46):
in the end, it's felt likeif you read about old Vegas and how
scummy it is, but then yougo there now and it's like, you
know, families, It's like it'salmost like it's a bit. Amsterdam felt
like a bit to me, likeI'm in the Red Light District, but
you know there it felt it feltlike a bachelorette party or something. There.
(10:11):
There was always you know there,you know how bachelorette parties at strip
clubs or something that's all like bits. It's it's you're being sold an idea
of a thing that stopped being thatthing a long time ago. And it
wasn't seedy and disgusting. It waslike a lot of young guys just saw,
oh look at this, Oh mygosh, look at this, and
it was it was just bros.And it wasn't really the underbelly of society.
(10:33):
It was. It just seemed likeso many people. It was very
touristy. We're all here to seethis crazy thing. But you know,
the tourists so far out weigh thelocals. You could probably get some stuff
going. I'm sure you could havegone and had some pleasure with that lady
the mannequin in the window. WhenI was there in two thousand and six,
(10:56):
I'd say it felt a little littleCD then really there the most like
distinct thing of like something like mostof it's just like a feel, you
know, and like they whenever they'reI mean, you know I was.
I was very young and impressionable.So whenever they're advertising shows that felt threatening
to me. In somewhat threatening mightnot be the right word, but you
know, ladies shooting ping pong ballsback and forth at each other, things
(11:18):
like that. It just all seemeda little extreme. But how does that
work? That work? I didnot go in. I can't tell you
anymore. I just know what theywere offering, so they told you that
was what was going to be goingon in there, something like that they
could pass and catch. I mean, I don't know if they can,
you know, I don't know.It's all a little fuzzy. I didn't
want to know more. It's kindof like where how Dude Perfect started?
(11:41):
Yeah, I have seen that.I haven't seen that clip. But the
most concrete thing was, you knowthat it's kind of like Venice. There's
a bunch of canals, you know, like this, the city is pretty
navigable by boat, and so there'sa lot of bridges over the canals and
on just about every bridge I canrecall in the red Light district there was
a guy just standing on the bridgejust muttering cocaine, cocaine, cocaine,
(12:05):
heroin cocaine. You could get thathere? Oh, kind of like a
scalper. Yeah, yeah, nice. You have to be kind of close
to him to hear what you're saying. But I guess the pools probably you're
familiar with a bit by now,but like, you know, you could
buy pot in the shops and everything, but it was apparent that anything else
you wanted there was guy to goto. The guy in the bridge.
Yeah, which one did you optfor? Nothing? I was a clean
(12:26):
living back then, all right,are you no? No? No?
Which would which would you opt for? Now? If you had shrooms?
How about the blue? I don'tdo anything. You can be sent to
rehab for. People go to rehabfor cocaine, heroin, alcohol, all
right, So to clear it up, what do people not go to rehab
(12:48):
for everything else? Acid? Youdon't drink pot, rehab for drinking,
that's right. Yeah, cocaine.No, Cocaine's a rehab drug. I
don't do rehab drug. Herb herb. No one ever goes through the Mary
Jane for marijuana. Uh, youcan got a sex reheb. Yeah,
(13:11):
So I don't do that, SoI don't do that. Money is different
sizes. That's pretty. If youhave like a twenty euro bill and a
ten euro bill, the ten issmaller and then the five is smaller than
that. I don't know if it'scool. It just seemed really weird,
did you. It's weird because itdoesn't because you're so accustomed for your entire
(13:35):
life. Had you been before,had you been to Europe? No?
Okay, because when I got yourlike euros for the first time. Whatever,
Yeah, here have some have somehave some. It doesn't even seem
real because you're just so used tothe one currency. It looks a bit
like monopoly money. Yeah right,yeah, so it's just like I'll buy
whatever I got more of these things, Like they're just a little couponts.
They're not money money, even thoughthey clearly are in the one and two
(13:58):
euros are always coins. So thefact you can drop some coins in someone's
yad that be ten dollars, yeah, it does. Yeah, you can
get skewed pretty fast. And I'dlike to defend France for a moment,
please, as many have done throughoutthe years, not vigorously enough, based
on what so. France is veryIt's obviously very cultured, very beautiful.
(14:20):
There's a lot of the buildings arereally old, like insane, Like I
think the apartment that we stayed inwas built and people were staying in this
apartment building or this building of somesort when the biggest, the tallest structure
(14:41):
here was a tepee. Wow,Oh you mean like Dallas. Yeah,
I'm just saying I got it.In the United States, the biggest thing
was a tepee. And like inFrance, these buildings are you know,
four hundred years old, like it'sinsane. Yeah, we're And then they
have the Notre Dame Cathedral, youknow, the Louver. You're like,
(15:03):
oh when they opened the Louver,I don't know, fifteen twenty five or
you know, it's insane, likeand so. And the Notre Dame Cathedral
obviously before it burned down was isamazing and everything. They're rebuilding it so
you can't go in right now,no, okay, uh, scaffolding all
around it and stuff. But they'reworking on it. And I can see.
(15:28):
Here's what I want to say aboutFrance. I can see why they
surrendered quickly in World War Two becauseif you faced I'm going to bomb the
hell out of everything in Paris,or look, let's surrender and just hope
somebody else saves us. I thinkI would do that if I had all
(15:50):
that priceless like you're facing an enemythat didn't care about that stuff. Right,
Well, you didn't make it overto Germany, but they took that
other route and you can tell Germanyyeah yeah, yeah, but they were
the one the bombers, not thebomb ease. Oh people did some bombing
on them, that's what I mean. Yeah, but at first when they
(16:10):
went into it, they weren't thinkinganybody's gonna bomb us. They were like,
yeah, we they were pretty uhhad a real egocentric Uh. Yeah.
They thought we showed them, didn'tthey. But I'm just saying,
you can see the counterfactory. There'sno Notre doms in Berlin. But I
would guess like they were bombing thehell out of your England, right yeah,
yeah, yeah yeah. So butI think of anyone in the conflict,
(16:32):
Germany caught the worst of it.I think anything above like four stories
was rubble as they probably should have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, say
I'm not I don't. I wouldn'twant to know one's trying about Germany.
Yeah, but they bombed a lotof stuff. We bombed a lot of
stuff. Is it Berlin Wall stillup? There's parts of it where you
can just kind of go by andsay, isn't that cool? But for
(16:55):
the most part now have a lotof graffiti and stuff on it. Yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah. Didthey tear down that wall because Reagan told
them to you? Right? Yeah, I think you tear it down?
Yeah, think Floyd did it.I was hearing something guy. It's probably
a couple of years ago now,at this point that there was never a
decision to tear down the wall.There was an erroneous radio report that they
(17:19):
were thinking about tearing it down,and everyone in Berlin rushed down there and
wanted to see the tearing down.And the guy, you know, there
was like a regular staff at thecheckpoint. So there's like two guys that
are like, guys, please don'ttear it down. And they just didn't
listen to it. You know,like eventually the over the radio that people
were like, just let him tearit down. We can't. We don't
(17:41):
have another recourse at this point.So it was never like a government's decision
of like it's time for the wallto go. It just you know,
they kind of lost control of thething because of this radio report. It
really shows the power of radio.Yeah, yeah, you should use that
in the sales pitch. Yeah,this is what brought down the wall.
No podcast has ever done that.No it has ever gotten a wall torn
(18:04):
down, and they never will.Uh well, we're out of walls at
least those kind right, Yeah,I mean we're any walls anymore. Don't
we have one between us and Mexico. I don't think that we do.
We do I mean kind, Idon't think it ever got Well that maybe
that's the wall we can get torndown. We got to finish building.
Do you think your podcast can getthat wall taken down? And there one
(18:27):
in China? There is kind?Yeah, the Great Wall? Yeah,
Okay, there's still walls. Okay, we'll work on that one. What
I heard another little fun fact foryou. I think it would take six
hours by plane to travel the distanceof the China Great Wall of China.
It's a very big wall, sohow long would it take to walk it?
(18:48):
Months? I had heard that thered Light district in Amsterdam that there's
I think the government there is definitelyexcited about what you're saying of like it's
no longer CD and I think thatI think they think it's a big pain
in the butt that every single bachelorparty in Europe is descending on this one
(19:10):
part of their city. So I'dheard that they no longer allowed for the
curtains to be open in the RedLight district. But it sounds like you're
saying that's definitely not true. Right, Well, there were no open curtains
on nudity, but she was wearingyou know, she had the three main
points covered up. Yeah, Ithink that I saw nudity. Yeah,
(19:32):
I definitely saw nudy. Okay,yeah, now I was down there totally,
totally. It might have had abottom. Amsterdam dot info slash red
light districts in your own show overhere. More or less, they do
admit that it used to be CDon Amsterdam dot info. Uh huh,
And they say, yes, contraryto what a lot of people might assume,
the Amsterdam red light district has afriendly atmosphere and isn't as dangerous as
(19:55):
it used to be. So youprobably did see a different version. Yeah,
And I had heard the term redlight district, like people in my
group had said those words in sequencebefore. But so I had some idea
that it was this thing. Neverin a million years did I think what
they meant by that was there wasnaked women behind glass lining every street and
(20:18):
that you just walk down and thisis where you were. I was blowed
away. But SKI think you werea clean boy at that point. It
is a good thing, otherwise youwould have died. Your tea must have
been much higher, though I'm surprisedyou didn't. It was not have enough
money or what was the deal?I mean, I certainly didn't have any
extra money. And beyond that,I don't you know. I was recently
(20:45):
out of rehab they had Really doesit have to do with that? Did
they lower your tea level at rehab? They don't lower your tea level.
But it was, I mean,I don't know, it's a whole thing,
but it was. It was runby the women. They had had
a mental wall, yes, erected. Yeah. It's not like they're just
telling you don't do drugs and whateverelse you do, we don't care.
It was an entire, full life, whole life. Yeah. It was
(21:08):
cult like in aspects that they wantedto control every aspect of your decision making?
Was it? Was it faith based? The schooling? Yeah kinda,
okay. The apartment I stayed atwas directly I could see from our apartment
window where Princess Diana died. That'samazing. Yeah, I love that.
(21:33):
So I would wake up and prayto that every morning. Though I haven't
follow up. There some sort ofPrincess Diana and her ghost? Did you
develop? Yeah? I wondered ifyou learned the name Dodi al Fayad.
I knew it, Okay, Ijust never know about Dan's grasp of world
history. Well, do you,like, you know, leave a flower
(21:55):
there for every day you were there. What you do is, so there's
a there, there's a chain andI can't remember why, my daughter explained
it to me, but what youdo is you take a lock, like
a I guess a bike lock orjust whatever, what do you call it?
Just a little lock, combination combinationlock, and you put it on
(22:15):
the chain and like you write yourname on it or something, and then
you're it's got some symbolism of something. They're big on that in France.
Yeah, so like this whole chainhas a you know, a thousand locks
on it, and that's your bitas you're supposed to bring your lock and
lock it on there, and thenyou're supporting something of a couple. People
have started to do that around aroundWhite Rock and I'm disgusted by it.
(22:40):
Get your own bit. You're notFrench. That's a France thing. Yeah,
there's a big bridge over the Seine, the big river there where uh
you know, the whole thing's coveredin locks and it's not the river khy
no, No, that's that's anasia. Did you have any favorite bakeries?
What was your dining experience, likedining was cool. I don't.
(23:04):
I don't have a place that wasthe favorite. I mean I guess,
yeah, we got to go intoone place every morning where they had just
yeah that's unbelievable. Uh, youknow, little sandwiches and they would have
a salmon sand like every everything seemedlike it was so you know, eats,
He's timed one hundred type things likejust so well chef crafted, and
(23:25):
like once you go over there,you can kind of tell that places like
Eatsi's that's what they're going for.Yeah, you know, like they saw
it and they were like, ifwe could get one of these in grape
Vine, it would blow people's minds. Yeah, and it does, Like
I love Eatsi's as you know.And then yeah, there's a lot of
places in France that are like that. Yeah, hasn't really blown people's minds
in Grapevine. I think it has. Dan eats their every meal. I've
(23:47):
interviewed a lot of people in Grapevine. Okay, they're almost speech Yeah,
I'm just a little bit of senseabout it myself. But I will defer
to you. But the food doesseem so I did, like I said,
I lived in Mexico when I wasyoung for a while, a college
semester, and I always thought everythingthere was a cut below, like even
(24:11):
if you went to a chain restaurantor you went to a pizza hut.
In Mexico, it felt like bythe cheese is jake not as good,
Like everything felt a little less goodand I couldn't wait to get back,
Whereas in France, everything felt justa tiny bit better, Like the pasta
tasted better for like the sauce onit. Everything tasted fresher, Like the
(24:33):
strawberries were better that you know,anything you got the sandwiches at the deli
were you know, a pastry wasjust everything was a little bit better about
squash. I never had that.I was always blown away by the McNuggets.
You actually went to McDonald's because ofpulp fiction? No, no,
(24:56):
no, I don't know. It'sin France, specifically in Europe. Whenever
I was living there, I hada McDonald's plenty of times. Do they
actually do French fries and mayonnaise?Like John Giboltza said, I don't know.
I didn't. I did never.They didn't make me. But the
you would think, why don't theycall it the quarter pounder. They don't
have the metrics or they use themetric systems. The Royal Whi cheese,
(25:25):
you know what they called the BigMac? What led Big Mac? So
not what do they call it?Roper? I didn't get to bury the
I convinced that the chicken nugget standardsare just higher. Really it has to
be. I mean, for one, do you know they now use the
processed stuff and the steroids to pumpup the chickens. It's still McDonald So
(25:48):
I'm sure there's some of that.Yeah, but based on eating a ton
of McNuggets in both places, I'mpositive that Europe's McNuggets are a different deal.
They're much use here. Delicious orthat's not a word, it could
be okay. Yeah. I didn'twant to go to a chain restaurant though.
Yeah. No, if you're therefor a week, that would be
(26:10):
insane. It was like, yeah, although they did. Where was it?
I think it wasn't Amsterdam. Theyhad to Ripley's believe it or not?
What? Yeah, I don't believeit. I'd rather not believe it.
I mean, I took some picturesjust to illustrate, but yeah,
so, I mean, if youwant to. Uh, you could go
to San Antonio or Yah, whichone's better? Or you can go to
(26:34):
Amsterdam. I didn't at the grocerystores were weird, or at least the
ones I was in, Like theyhad a whole aisle called biscuits, Like
you have an isle now for youknow cereal, They had one just for
biscuits and it we love biscuits,just different kinds of biscuits. Yeah,
I think that means crackers too tothem. I don't know. It's a
(26:56):
really good I could never get ahandle on their grocery scene. It was
confusing to me. There's no targetsover there, Tom thumbs, Yeah,
here it is Ripley's believe it ornot. It was right next to a
TJ Max. Hell so I tooka picture of it, just show the
the excitement I found in Amsterdam withit. Yeah. Hey guys, we
(27:18):
had to go seven and a halfminutes ago. Oh all right, well,
hey, thanks for having me.I was just going to see I
don't know, TC. We're gonnaask Dan if you wanted to do?
Yeah, what do you want?I think I might have to roll soon.
We'll see what happened to Dan willbe here or he won't. Why
why do you have to take breaks? Oh so we have advertisers. Oh
(27:38):
darn it. Yeah, eat yourheart out. I wish I did Patreon
dot com slash the dumb zone,but I don't think Dan's gone. So
we'll be back in a minute.How about that. Remember we're in here
saying what we want, all right, so pervid get that
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