April 25, 2024 • 24 mins
Dan joins us for another segment and his cohost Jake Kemp calls in! Jeff does a banana botox!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:09):
Oh yes, all right, alittle bit after four o'clock out here at
Buffalo Wild Wings in Grapevine. Doyou know I used to have a Bobby
McFerran cover band. No, Ididn't know that. Yeah, everybody,
that's Dan McDowell from the Dumb Zonepodcast. I think that's why groups is
playing it. I played because Ilove you, all right, So you
(00:31):
do that song and then what happensafter that? I mean I just would
be on stage you like I woulddo Tolbert's and I could just do the
whole thing, just like Bobby McFerrin, just with my body. That's pretty
good. But that's when I worea younger man's clothes. I cannot do
that anymore. I don't believe youdo you wear your clown suit. You
should have been there. I shouldhave been there. Sorry when you hated
(00:54):
me, Yeah I did. DidShe used to all of us? Did
you know she really did? Yeah? I said some things about her on
public, right on the radio.Yes, you did say the things,
and we did find the audio afterthat long extensive search. Well, yeah,
(01:17):
I can't prove it anymore, that'sright. I did I say anything
about you? No, you werealways a gentleman, nice piece, Julie.
Do you think Dan is radio attractive? I put her on. He's
radio. He's radio radio hot.Yea. So you guys are even like
(01:38):
radio, you know, because youcan't see anybody right, look at that.
It's not even that radio means yousound good. You know, you'll
run into that with ladies and radioa lot. Oh my god, that
voice and then yeah you're saying,now everybody can see you and you they
can't. It's sometimes, yes,we're on the to do you get just
(02:00):
like lots of people that comment abunch of fire emoojis at you and yeah,
egg plants. The problem is ourlistener based of their boobs? Yeah,
well no, it's all dudes.Oh yeah, dudes. You know
that. I'm not cool though,if you want to go that way,
that's fine. Good. But youknow who is cool? Someone on our
(02:21):
guest line. What what do wegot calling? What? Hello? Guest
line? Who do we have?Yeah? Hey, they're at Jake and
North Richland Hills. Hi, NorthRichland Hill. This is a great Jake.
Yeah, oh my goodness, firsttime long. And I'm not getting
(02:43):
you in my headset. Yeah,I'm not getting him in the headset either
continue anyway. No'll puppy, He'llpuppy, He'll pup. It'll Puppy'll puppy,
He'll pupp It'll pup, It'll pup, It'll pup it. Okay,
Hi, Jake, I brought mydrafts. Be paid for that. But
I was just going to ask ifyou could potentially ask your guests to get
to the point. What do Igot? What did I start? And
(03:06):
stop talking about everything? Just anything? I like, I listen to you
guys every day, and now youhave this new guy in here, and
I was just thinking, if you'regoing to have him on, just have
him get to the point. Resetwho you are? Well, what point
would you like for him to getto? Car we're on radio, reset
yourself. Well it's Jake and Northwardsand Hills. I don't know, Okay,
thank you, Yeah, I don'tknow. A lot of people just
(03:28):
tuned in and they didn't know whoyou were. Annoy the hell out of
each other, don't all the time? Caller? Yeah, No, Jake
doesn't annoy me. I think Iannoyed Jake, Yeah for sure, for
sure. Yeah. So anyways,when there's a point, just get to
it. Oh, you're just callingin to scold our guests here call it.
(03:52):
How'd you get through the packed phonelines? Yeah? You know what.
I think it was just one ofthose deals, like a contest where
you happen to hit call at theright time. You got lucky. Do
you guys realize what you have here? You have a couple of podcasters on
the radio. Well, what youhave is a a DFW sports dream right
(04:13):
now, Dan and Jake together onthe airwaves. Wow. Yeah, it
turned out it's hard GFW sports dream, but not an Atlanta sports dream.
No, no, No, DFWlikes us. What happened with Atlanta?
Just people there? We found theman. We've just found that people in
(04:33):
Atlanta don't like us to be onterrestrial radio. They actually didn't like us
to be on podcasting either, andthey tried to stop us from doing that.
Why do you have any interaction?They told being on a podcast,
it's clicking for me. There yougo. As long is it going to
take her? Togain Jake, Shehasn't changed at all. Hey, that's
(04:56):
me. I don't know. Iwasn't I wasn't ever important enough to deal
with Atlanta. I didn't know headquartersis I don't quarters are cloud people.
I'm just tuning in. Yeah,that's where headquarters of the cloud are.
Okay, Actually, Julie, I'mpretty sure that one time they told you
not to come to work for threemonths, you're definitely important. Oh yeah,
you woman. They did, didn'tthey They said, yeah, we
(05:21):
appreciate what you've done, but ifyou could just go home and not come
back for three months, and ifyou come back after that, that'll be
cool. If not, that's cooltoo, that'd be great. That's fine.
Secret ranger is Joe Nathan. Ithought it would be Henry Mercedes Julie.
Julie got furloughed, Yeah, whichwe were happy about because that was
(05:45):
like, that was an injury,Like I was going to go, oh
okay, well right yeah yeah,yeah, so I was what was happening
right there? I can already tellhis wife. His wife has her arms
(06:10):
crossed, she's got a rolling pinin her hand, she's got curlers in
her hair, she's tapping her foot, she's holding a crying baby, and
she needs Jake to change the babyand go change the spark plugs as well.
Oh so he's got a lot ofthings going on. I have nothing.
Yeah, well, We're glad.Yeah, glad we had you all.
Well. Thanks. I actually Iwas kind of wondering because today for
(06:35):
me has kind of sucked. Ihaven't I haven't had a good day,
and I was wondering if there's anythingyou could do to convince me that today
was maybe better than I thought itwas. I legally cannot. Yeah,
there are some things I cannot do. I can't tell you what is one
of them? Yeah, do youlike birthdays or something? You can't tell
(06:56):
me why today's okay? I cannotnot able to do that. I think
I had some other audio for youthat I want to play. Oh do
you want do you want that?Or do you have audio? Some stuff?
I've got stuff if you can't tellus, Oh, you were trying
to get me to eat a cookieand not your cookie, but a cookie.
The UK and Grapevine, Yes,we have this thing where the Glens
(07:17):
they bring us food and we alwaysjust kind of there's this understanding that there's
pot in the food that they bring. Oh really, well then I'm way
against that. Not really, it'sclean. They're delicious cookies. They always
bring us treats. But we dohave some bananas here. We do what
was the text you sent me youwanted a banana facial. Because I thought
that shouldn't have been in a grouptext. I thought it wasn't a tag
(07:44):
a tweet. Are you at thatage where you're confusing things that come across
your phone? Probably it's very easyto see how somebody could get that confused.
We will. We will occasionally getgreat texts from Mike that's like he
was talking to his TV or something. Yeah, okay, baby, Yeah,
(08:07):
maybe I just kind of lose trackwith what I'm doing, who I'm
talking to? All of that tweetthat tweets his credit card number, he
thinks, yeah online, Yeah,text us a picture of a church,
dude. It's a lot to keepup with. No, we were talking
yesterday about this new trend that Idon't know, I thought you might be
interested in too. It's called bananabotox. Okay, because you know the
(08:28):
ladies love their bowtoks, always tryingto make their skin tight. They're trying
to get rid of their wrinkles,They're trying to fight age. They don't
want what's the perfect age that everywoman should try and look like? For
you, Dan probably say twenty three. I would say, I mean thirty
(08:54):
one, because here one's the perfectage. You did laugh, But they've
done the science and I've seen theresults. Women tend to be attracted to
people around their own age, andmen are most attracted to literally twenty two
year olds. Why we all madethat way, I don't know. It's
not fair. I don't know.I'm just joking, but I am saying,
we don't need the age stop aging. Well, how do you just
(09:16):
want people to die? Well,that's why we trade you in age.
There are ways out there, andyou better embrace those ways. Yeah,
get the banana, botox, dowhatever you have to do. Yeah,
enhance yourself. We want you tolook like Meg Ryan when you're seventy.
Yeah, it's like a football team, you know, every time. Then
you just got to get younger atthat position. Again, it's just not
(09:37):
fair because that's tough. Yeah,I mean, but in society, yeah,
society has You can fight the trend. You can be better than that.
You can. Care's nothing wrong withaging, we really can. Women
are beautiful at every age. Ithink it works out because on average,
I think we try to get youngerand hotter people, and y'all try to
get people with more money. SoI think that eater totter works out five.
(10:01):
Yeah. Yeah, but I thinkit's easier to find younger women than
it is rich men, is it, Yeah, I think so. I
think. Yeah. Well, bananabotox is a thing because it is a
problem sometimes when you're trying not toage, but you also don't want to
spend all the money, right,it costs a lot of money. Maybe
you haven't found your rich man yetand you don't have it. So ladies
(10:22):
are coming up with different ways toprevent aging, and one of those is
with bananas. And so this iswhat we were discussing yesterday, and I
did a little more research on it, and it sounds like banana botox like
has a temporary tightening effect. Itcan it doesn't last nearly as long.
And of course there's all the interviewswith the doctors that work for these places
(10:46):
saying like, well, this isthis is preposterous. Bananas won't help.
You have to get this chemical andshoot it into your face because they're making
money from it. But then youdid find a few doctors that said,
there is a little something to bananashelping with your face and tightening your face,
So we should eat the banana.You don't eat the banana. What
do we do? So the bananaboattox is just temporary. It won't address
(11:09):
long term muscle relaxation or deep deeperwrinkles. But I have a little how
to here on how to do bananaboatoks okay, and Jeff already said he'd
do it. I don't have anybodyelse want us to try. I thought
you're the lady. Well yeah,but Jeff is my test baby. Okay,
he's like our little mouse. Iay, I have a lot of
(11:31):
wealthy housewife tendencies as well. Okay, he does. We've actually botox together.
We have, we have, butwe haven't done it in a while
because it's expensive. And I havea peloton he does. I'm a woman,
and he goes to pilates and yogaand stuff trying to keep it tight.
Okay, so you're gonna need this. Okay, you're gonna need this.
Pretend that that's a's wash glass radioprofessional wash your face. No,
(11:54):
yep, just pretend so well youalways thought it would be humh yeah m
hmm. So we're a to seea banana facial yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you can do one, oryou can participate but this is something
that we wanted to experiment with today. Dan. Okay, thank you Becca.
She's got something you can just rubyour face with that, a little
wet wipe. Yeah, you cando that. Yeah, that's allowed.
(12:15):
You're about to put banana on it. So this is nothing. Yeah,
well the banana is good for me. This that picture is being a hand
thing. But okay, yeah,I'm clean, I'm ready. Yeah yeah,
no, what do I do?Okay? So what are your face
clean? No? Pat it dry? Okay, done? Okay, now
you take so what this is eatingthe banana? You can eat the banana
because you really just right? Yeah, you just need the peel. Oh
(12:39):
yeah, I was trying to tellon you. Yeah I saw that.
Yeah, he seems to be enjoyingeating that banana. Tu she did you
didn't try? You told on me? Mm, So you take the banana
peels. He could eat that wholebanana. He shoved that whole thing right
down his throat. Yeah, onepiecee no chewing. Impressive, some of
us we're born this whole. Thenhe just pulled it back up over and
(13:03):
over. Whoa. So now youtake the banana peel, actually happy banana,
small piece of it. So Iwould say, like one little flappy
over thing. Yeah, okay,yeah, I got a flappy what I
kind of want to do it too. You're gonna can be a banana flat.
If anybody else want a banana flat, there's a banana flat, Mike.
(13:26):
You can use a little banana boatalks. You have wrinkles. Perfect,
let's get you squared away. Hereyou go. It's not gooey. It's
not like you're putting the whole bananaon your face. This is just the
peel. You got to wash first. Yeah, wash off your face,
Grooby, I'm good. What ifyou don't have any wrinkles on your head
after this? Would you do this? Would you do this every day?
(13:50):
Probably not? Start trying different fruitpeels? Yeah? Okay, Now what
do we do you care about hiswrinkles? May have to go for the
plumb peel next, suah. Okay. So take the piece of banana,
and now this says to rub itinside. Rub it's inside the inside of
the banana on the affected area.So I guess wherever, straight to his
(14:13):
forehead. Problem, Aria, rubyour banana, Mike. It actually feels
guys, this feels really good.Ba Dan Oh yeah. After the first
couple of passovers, it gets sortof swooned and slippery. Yeah, it's
really kind of it's fun. Julia'srubbing banana all over her face. Yeah,
the banana peel, the banana flat. Okay, so this is great.
(14:39):
Yeah, rub it on the affectedarea. So I think it's definitely
my forehead. I'm gonna do mysmile lines. Y'all all make me laugh
too much, and I've got smilelines. She never said that when she
worked on our show. That's becauseit's clear we've established she hated working with
you and hates you. No,none of that is true. I love
all of y'all. I've been verylucky where lucky to work with people that
(15:01):
didn't make me laugh. That wasmy biggest year with the new job.
Is enough? If they do enough? Where did you get did you under
iye? I think under eye.You don't have any wrinkles on your forehead
anymore. Man, that's awesome.That is awesome. It's like an ice
skating rink. Okay, you dreamthat's nice, doesn't it smells like a
banana? Yeah, it's nice.If that's nice, it's kind of soothing.
(15:24):
Yeah, it does feel really sofor anybody that's trying this at home,
there's no one, not a singleperson. They say, like,
the more like brown and rotten,the banana is the better. Cool.
So you know those bananas you hangon too because you're like, oh,
make banana bread, right, butthen you never do. Wow, Well
you can use it for your bananafacial Okay, so this is all you
(15:46):
do. Now. You just haveto leave it on for ten to fifteen
minutes and then we'll rinse it off. All right, there we go for
best results. Repeat twice a day. Do it regularly for ten days to
see even more results. Days wemight not have wrinkles anymore. So somebody
on Reddit tried this and this iswhat they wrote. This was the best
(16:08):
review of the banana botox that Isaw, so I wanted to share it
with you all now that we allhave banana on our face so we feel
a little better. Yeah, banana, This is someone on Reddit. Yes,
banana peel is the single best thingI've ever done to my skins.
I wish I kept it up backthen, didn't waste so much money on
random skincare. I just started itagain because I keep getting these annoying tiny
(16:32):
bumps on my forehead and it's alreadygone down in one day. Hell,
yes, tiny you think that workson the herp? Do you have that?
Banana peel has salicilic salicilic acid,heaps of vitamins such as A,
B C, potassium and something mannganese, something like that of course,
(16:52):
if not vangina. So just soyou know, Reddin has one. You're
putting something natural and good on yourface, and I think we're gonna reap
some major banana benefits. See nowI have something natural and good that what?
Yeah? What? Yeah? What? Dan? Good for what?
(17:17):
I just don't know if you guyshave a delay or nowhere you see on
our podcast? I could tell you, But we do say what we want.
We say what we want. Youdo say what you want to a
point, right, you say whatthe FCC wants you to say what we
want with an FCC guidelines, Yeah, for the most part. And I
(17:37):
don't know that the FCC understands thatpodcasts exists yet. Yeah, they're gonna
get y'all. I have I'm alady related thing too. I was gonna
tell you about my since this iskind of lady related. Although you're saying
dudes can do it. Oh yeah, but no one's gonna do it except
for Jeff Cavanaugh. Mike did it. Yeah, we're all around here,
(17:57):
Dan, he did it for theradio. It. Oh no, I
may start doing it all the time. You don't know, I know,
I know everything changed. He's changed. Yes, I've a changed man.
Changed them out in the last fiveyears. I haven't been that's right.
Well, this is a deep question. This is the kind of thing we
(18:18):
ask on our show. So andthen we were talking about this the other
day and somebody made us a cookiecake today, so people will will pay
us to be out and broadcast fromtheir house. So that's what we're doing
today. We're broadcast at some guysuh place, and they had a big
party and they had pizza and thenthey had you know, they had a
(18:41):
big cookie cookie cake. So youcan see that this all right? Well
you see what the cookie cake says, and I can explain it to you.
Okay. So do you know aboutthis groups? I think I do.
Okay, So it all stemmed froma hypothetical. Certainly, it's never
(19:03):
happened to me, but it wouldbe your wife, you know how wives
are guys. Yeah, So I'veheard of them to beat down. So
she finds that she finds you weresearching something some porn and on some of
these porn sites before the Texas governmentshut us down. You know, your
your your you porn, your pornhub, whatever. You would go in
(19:27):
and you can search a certain termand then all your favorite things. I
prefer like missionary. I will searchmissionary with my wife and then all the
videos. That's all you can search. But there are other terms in the
sex world. From what I understand, I'm not really into that that stuff,
(19:48):
but there are other terms you've heardabout. So then the thought was,
okay, if your wife found thatyou were searching the term braces,
okay, yeah, that would seemto few younger. This will be great
though, for Julie to answer,because she's a lady. So what would
you be more disturbed by if youwould find out your husband was searching mouth
(20:15):
braces or leg braces. What wouldbe more disturbed I think definitely mouth braces.
Okay, so you would rather yourhusband was into like gimps or whatever.
(20:37):
Probably the leg bracing would be reallyweird, and that would be like
a very strange fetish that I wouldfeel a little bit like I'd just been
excluded from his true feelings about loveand life. If you never told me
had a thing for leg brace,women you could wear like, but I
wouldn't be like disgusted and mad really, Whereas if it was brace is like
(21:02):
on little girls, well no,but they would be They would be thirty
year old ladies with braces. Thereare some ladies out there like that,
I know. But the search forbraces, you're gonna mostly get underage.
Oh no, you're on a pornsite. They're gonna be eighteen. Yeah,
man, it'll be eighteen, andmost of them will be in their
probably twenties and thirties that look asyoung as they can would be? How
(21:22):
that works? What's wrong with allof you men that search? And it's
hypothetical, I know, but likeit's just crazy. This is not real.
I mean, we're just ripen marketor whatever is so oversaturated that people
have to find these really bizarre littleniches of things to get them excited.
(21:44):
It is true, so like braces, Come on, man, I think
I'd be equally disturbed by bothies.Have you ever searched porn? No?
For real? All right, Ididn't know. I know some ladies do.
No, I would be no,I don't really want to. This
(22:07):
is what Dan does. What I'mjust asking a question. I just threw
a banana napter that I too.Think it's interesting the number of I've got
a banana napkin, the Kimes ofblazing Man. Look at this guy,
you could stand up on its own. Why do you let it all go?
(22:27):
Why do women lie about that?Not that women in particular, but
obviously by the percentages, plenty ofwomen look at porn also, But do
you think, oh, yeah,yeah, yeah, okay, I'm not
familiar with I bet we could sciencethis, they could look it up,
and I bet the numbers, likeI don't know, twenty to thirty percent,
but I bet the numbers. Ohthat feels high. But I bet
the number that admits it is liketwo. Whereas guys are kind of like,
(22:49):
yeah, I'll be poorn. Iget grossed out by all of it,
Honestly, I don't know. Idon't know. It's super grossed And
to sit there and actually think aboutlike searching something like is really gross to
me, which is something up?Yeah, Like I don't know. I'm
just I guess busy. I don'thave time for that Dan, which side
are you using now? With thenew rule? Care that much? You
(23:11):
have a verified long I want tosee strangers doing that stuff. Actually,
the new rules are very bothersome,and it smacks me in the face now
and again when I forget and thenyou type it in you're like, oh
no, there's all this. It'stext. I don't like text photos and
videos and stuff. So yeah,no it's tough. But one of our
listeners like, I don't even knowwhat this means. I kind of know,
(23:37):
but they said they set us upwith a VPN. Oh yeah,
it says you're somewhere else, whichapparently didn't get you around things. And
I haven't attempted to use VPN yet, but I appreciate somebody helping me out.
If you have a porn somebody outlooking out for me, Yeah,
give them my banana. Wish Icould get that hold on. Guys,
this a harden question of porn.Pet horn what had I don't know what
(24:00):
that is? Like, what doyou use to surf? Do you use
your standard laptop or phone or doyou have a designated device that is old
and outdated that you don't care aboutthat you use. I didn't know that
exists. Really, people do that? I have like a fifteen year old
iPad. Yeah, oh no,I just I thought it was just everybody
just use their computer. Oh dude, that's hay end up people knowing stuff.
(24:21):
This Porn round Table has been reallyfun, but it's time to go
to break, all right. Comingup next something else
Oh yes, all right, alittle bit after four o'clock out here at
Buffalo Wild Wings in Grapevine. Doyou know I used to have a Bobby
McFerran cover band. No, Ididn't know that. Yeah, everybody,
that's Dan McDowell from the Dumb Zonepodcast. I think that's why groups is
playing it. I played because Ilove you, all right, So you
(00:31):
do that song and then what happensafter that? I mean I just would
be on stage you like I woulddo Tolbert's and I could just do the
whole thing, just like Bobby McFerrin, just with my body. That's pretty
good. But that's when I worea younger man's clothes. I cannot do
that anymore. I don't believe youdo you wear your clown suit. You
should have been there. I shouldhave been there. Sorry when you hated
(00:54):
me, Yeah I did. DidShe used to all of us? Did
you know she really did? Yeah? I said some things about her on
public, right on the radio.Yes, you did say the things,
and we did find the audio afterthat long extensive search. Well, yeah,
(01:17):
I can't prove it anymore, that'sright. I did I say anything
about you? No, you werealways a gentleman, nice piece, Julie.
Do you think Dan is radio attractive? I put her on. He's
radio. He's radio radio hot.Yea. So you guys are even like
(01:38):
radio, you know, because youcan't see anybody right, look at that.
It's not even that radio means yousound good. You know, you'll
run into that with ladies and radioa lot. Oh my god, that
voice and then yeah you're saying,now everybody can see you and you they
can't. It's sometimes, yes,we're on the to do you get just
(02:00):
like lots of people that comment abunch of fire emoojis at you and yeah,
egg plants. The problem is ourlistener based of their boobs? Yeah,
well no, it's all dudes.Oh yeah, dudes. You know
that. I'm not cool though,if you want to go that way,
that's fine. Good. But youknow who is cool? Someone on our
(02:21):
guest line. What what do wegot calling? What? Hello? Guest
line? Who do we have?Yeah? Hey, they're at Jake and
North Richland Hills. Hi, NorthRichland Hill. This is a great Jake.
Yeah, oh my goodness, firsttime long. And I'm not getting
(02:43):
you in my headset. Yeah,I'm not getting him in the headset either
continue anyway. No'll puppy, He'llpuppy, He'll pup. It'll Puppy'll puppy,
He'll pupp It'll pup, It'll pup, It'll pup it. Okay,
Hi, Jake, I brought mydrafts. Be paid for that. But
I was just going to ask ifyou could potentially ask your guests to get
to the point. What do Igot? What did I start? And
(03:06):
stop talking about everything? Just anything? I like, I listen to you
guys every day, and now youhave this new guy in here, and
I was just thinking, if you'regoing to have him on, just have
him get to the point. Resetwho you are? Well, what point
would you like for him to getto? Car we're on radio, reset
yourself. Well it's Jake and Northwardsand Hills. I don't know, Okay,
thank you, Yeah, I don'tknow. A lot of people just
(03:28):
tuned in and they didn't know whoyou were. Annoy the hell out of
each other, don't all the time? Caller? Yeah, No, Jake
doesn't annoy me. I think Iannoyed Jake, Yeah for sure, for
sure. Yeah. So anyways,when there's a point, just get to
it. Oh, you're just callingin to scold our guests here call it.
(03:52):
How'd you get through the packed phonelines? Yeah? You know what.
I think it was just one ofthose deals, like a contest where
you happen to hit call at theright time. You got lucky. Do
you guys realize what you have here? You have a couple of podcasters on
the radio. Well, what youhave is a a DFW sports dream right
(04:13):
now, Dan and Jake together onthe airwaves. Wow. Yeah, it
turned out it's hard GFW sports dream, but not an Atlanta sports dream.
No, no, No, DFWlikes us. What happened with Atlanta?
Just people there? We found theman. We've just found that people in
(04:33):
Atlanta don't like us to be onterrestrial radio. They actually didn't like us
to be on podcasting either, andthey tried to stop us from doing that.
Why do you have any interaction?They told being on a podcast,
it's clicking for me. There yougo. As long is it going to
take her? Togain Jake, Shehasn't changed at all. Hey, that's
(04:56):
me. I don't know. Iwasn't I wasn't ever important enough to deal
with Atlanta. I didn't know headquartersis I don't quarters are cloud people.
I'm just tuning in. Yeah,that's where headquarters of the cloud are.
Okay, Actually, Julie, I'mpretty sure that one time they told you
not to come to work for threemonths, you're definitely important. Oh yeah,
you woman. They did, didn'tthey They said, yeah, we
(05:21):
appreciate what you've done, but ifyou could just go home and not come
back for three months, and ifyou come back after that, that'll be
cool. If not, that's cooltoo, that'd be great. That's fine.
Secret ranger is Joe Nathan. Ithought it would be Henry Mercedes Julie.
Julie got furloughed, Yeah, whichwe were happy about because that was
(05:45):
like, that was an injury,Like I was going to go, oh
okay, well right yeah yeah,yeah, so I was what was happening
right there? I can already tellhis wife. His wife has her arms
(06:10):
crossed, she's got a rolling pinin her hand, she's got curlers in
her hair, she's tapping her foot, she's holding a crying baby, and
she needs Jake to change the babyand go change the spark plugs as well.
Oh so he's got a lot ofthings going on. I have nothing.
Yeah, well, We're glad.Yeah, glad we had you all.
Well. Thanks. I actually Iwas kind of wondering because today for
(06:35):
me has kind of sucked. Ihaven't I haven't had a good day,
and I was wondering if there's anythingyou could do to convince me that today
was maybe better than I thought itwas. I legally cannot. Yeah,
there are some things I cannot do. I can't tell you what is one
of them? Yeah, do youlike birthdays or something? You can't tell
(06:56):
me why today's okay? I cannotnot able to do that. I think
I had some other audio for youthat I want to play. Oh do
you want do you want that?Or do you have audio? Some stuff?
I've got stuff if you can't tellus, Oh, you were trying
to get me to eat a cookieand not your cookie, but a cookie.
The UK and Grapevine, Yes,we have this thing where the Glens
(07:17):
they bring us food and we alwaysjust kind of there's this understanding that there's
pot in the food that they bring. Oh really, well then I'm way
against that. Not really, it'sclean. They're delicious cookies. They always
bring us treats. But we dohave some bananas here. We do what
was the text you sent me youwanted a banana facial. Because I thought
that shouldn't have been in a grouptext. I thought it wasn't a tag
(07:44):
a tweet. Are you at thatage where you're confusing things that come across
your phone? Probably it's very easyto see how somebody could get that confused.
We will. We will occasionally getgreat texts from Mike that's like he
was talking to his TV or something. Yeah, okay, baby, Yeah,
(08:07):
maybe I just kind of lose trackwith what I'm doing, who I'm
talking to? All of that tweetthat tweets his credit card number, he
thinks, yeah online, Yeah,text us a picture of a church,
dude. It's a lot to keepup with. No, we were talking
yesterday about this new trend that Idon't know, I thought you might be
interested in too. It's called bananabotox. Okay, because you know the
(08:28):
ladies love their bowtoks, always tryingto make their skin tight. They're trying
to get rid of their wrinkles,They're trying to fight age. They don't
want what's the perfect age that everywoman should try and look like? For
you, Dan probably say twenty three. I would say, I mean thirty
(08:54):
one, because here one's the perfectage. You did laugh, But they've
done the science and I've seen theresults. Women tend to be attracted to
people around their own age, andmen are most attracted to literally twenty two
year olds. Why we all madethat way, I don't know. It's
not fair. I don't know.I'm just joking, but I am saying,
we don't need the age stop aging. Well, how do you just
(09:16):
want people to die? Well,that's why we trade you in age.
There are ways out there, andyou better embrace those ways. Yeah,
get the banana, botox, dowhatever you have to do. Yeah,
enhance yourself. We want you tolook like Meg Ryan when you're seventy.
Yeah, it's like a football team, you know, every time. Then
you just got to get younger atthat position. Again, it's just not
(09:37):
fair because that's tough. Yeah,I mean, but in society, yeah,
society has You can fight the trend. You can be better than that.
You can. Care's nothing wrong withaging, we really can. Women
are beautiful at every age. Ithink it works out because on average,
I think we try to get youngerand hotter people, and y'all try to
get people with more money. SoI think that eater totter works out five.
(10:01):
Yeah. Yeah, but I thinkit's easier to find younger women than
it is rich men, is it, Yeah, I think so. I
think. Yeah. Well, bananabotox is a thing because it is a
problem sometimes when you're trying not toage, but you also don't want to
spend all the money, right,it costs a lot of money. Maybe
you haven't found your rich man yetand you don't have it. So ladies
(10:22):
are coming up with different ways toprevent aging, and one of those is
with bananas. And so this iswhat we were discussing yesterday, and I
did a little more research on it, and it sounds like banana botox like
has a temporary tightening effect. Itcan it doesn't last nearly as long.
And of course there's all the interviewswith the doctors that work for these places
(10:46):
saying like, well, this isthis is preposterous. Bananas won't help.
You have to get this chemical andshoot it into your face because they're making
money from it. But then youdid find a few doctors that said,
there is a little something to bananashelping with your face and tightening your face,
So we should eat the banana.You don't eat the banana. What
do we do? So the bananaboattox is just temporary. It won't address
(11:09):
long term muscle relaxation or deep deeperwrinkles. But I have a little how
to here on how to do bananaboatoks okay, and Jeff already said he'd
do it. I don't have anybodyelse want us to try. I thought
you're the lady. Well yeah,but Jeff is my test baby. Okay,
he's like our little mouse. Iay, I have a lot of
(11:31):
wealthy housewife tendencies as well. Okay, he does. We've actually botox together.
We have, we have, butwe haven't done it in a while
because it's expensive. And I havea peloton he does. I'm a woman,
and he goes to pilates and yogaand stuff trying to keep it tight.
Okay, so you're gonna need this. Okay, you're gonna need this.
Pretend that that's a's wash glass radioprofessional wash your face. No,
(11:54):
yep, just pretend so well youalways thought it would be humh yeah m
hmm. So we're a to seea banana facial yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you can do one, oryou can participate but this is something
that we wanted to experiment with today. Dan. Okay, thank you Becca.
She's got something you can just rubyour face with that, a little
wet wipe. Yeah, you cando that. Yeah, that's allowed.
(12:15):
You're about to put banana on it. So this is nothing. Yeah,
well the banana is good for me. This that picture is being a hand
thing. But okay, yeah,I'm clean, I'm ready. Yeah yeah,
no, what do I do?Okay? So what are your face
clean? No? Pat it dry? Okay, done? Okay, now
you take so what this is eatingthe banana? You can eat the banana
because you really just right? Yeah, you just need the peel. Oh
(12:39):
yeah, I was trying to tellon you. Yeah I saw that.
Yeah, he seems to be enjoyingeating that banana. Tu she did you
didn't try? You told on me? Mm, So you take the banana
peels. He could eat that wholebanana. He shoved that whole thing right
down his throat. Yeah, onepiecee no chewing. Impressive, some of
us we're born this whole. Thenhe just pulled it back up over and
(13:03):
over. Whoa. So now youtake the banana peel, actually happy banana,
small piece of it. So Iwould say, like one little flappy
over thing. Yeah, okay,yeah, I got a flappy what I
kind of want to do it too. You're gonna can be a banana flat.
If anybody else want a banana flat, there's a banana flat, Mike.
(13:26):
You can use a little banana boatalks. You have wrinkles. Perfect,
let's get you squared away. Hereyou go. It's not gooey. It's
not like you're putting the whole bananaon your face. This is just the
peel. You got to wash first. Yeah, wash off your face,
Grooby, I'm good. What ifyou don't have any wrinkles on your head
after this? Would you do this? Would you do this every day?
(13:50):
Probably not? Start trying different fruitpeels? Yeah? Okay, Now what
do we do you care about hiswrinkles? May have to go for the
plumb peel next, suah. Okay. So take the piece of banana,
and now this says to rub itinside. Rub it's inside the inside of
the banana on the affected area.So I guess wherever, straight to his
(14:13):
forehead. Problem, Aria, rubyour banana, Mike. It actually feels
guys, this feels really good.Ba Dan Oh yeah. After the first
couple of passovers, it gets sortof swooned and slippery. Yeah, it's
really kind of it's fun. Julia'srubbing banana all over her face. Yeah,
the banana peel, the banana flat. Okay, so this is great.
(14:39):
Yeah, rub it on the affectedarea. So I think it's definitely
my forehead. I'm gonna do mysmile lines. Y'all all make me laugh
too much, and I've got smilelines. She never said that when she
worked on our show. That's becauseit's clear we've established she hated working with
you and hates you. No,none of that is true. I love
all of y'all. I've been verylucky where lucky to work with people that
(15:01):
didn't make me laugh. That wasmy biggest year with the new job.
Is enough? If they do enough? Where did you get did you under
iye? I think under eye.You don't have any wrinkles on your forehead
anymore. Man, that's awesome.That is awesome. It's like an ice
skating rink. Okay, you dreamthat's nice, doesn't it smells like a
banana? Yeah, it's nice.If that's nice, it's kind of soothing.
(15:24):
Yeah, it does feel really sofor anybody that's trying this at home,
there's no one, not a singleperson. They say, like,
the more like brown and rotten,the banana is the better. Cool.
So you know those bananas you hangon too because you're like, oh,
make banana bread, right, butthen you never do. Wow, Well
you can use it for your bananafacial Okay, so this is all you
(15:46):
do. Now. You just haveto leave it on for ten to fifteen
minutes and then we'll rinse it off. All right, there we go for
best results. Repeat twice a day. Do it regularly for ten days to
see even more results. Days wemight not have wrinkles anymore. So somebody
on Reddit tried this and this iswhat they wrote. This was the best
(16:08):
review of the banana botox that Isaw, so I wanted to share it
with you all now that we allhave banana on our face so we feel
a little better. Yeah, banana, This is someone on Reddit. Yes,
banana peel is the single best thingI've ever done to my skins.
I wish I kept it up backthen, didn't waste so much money on
random skincare. I just started itagain because I keep getting these annoying tiny
(16:32):
bumps on my forehead and it's alreadygone down in one day. Hell,
yes, tiny you think that workson the herp? Do you have that?
Banana peel has salicilic salicilic acid,heaps of vitamins such as A,
B C, potassium and something mannganese, something like that of course,
(16:52):
if not vangina. So just soyou know, Reddin has one. You're
putting something natural and good on yourface, and I think we're gonna reap
some major banana benefits. See nowI have something natural and good that what?
Yeah? What? Yeah? What? Dan? Good for what?
(17:17):
I just don't know if you guyshave a delay or nowhere you see on
our podcast? I could tell you, But we do say what we want.
We say what we want. Youdo say what you want to a
point, right, you say whatthe FCC wants you to say what we
want with an FCC guidelines, Yeah, for the most part. And I
(17:37):
don't know that the FCC understands thatpodcasts exists yet. Yeah, they're gonna
get y'all. I have I'm alady related thing too. I was gonna
tell you about my since this iskind of lady related. Although you're saying
dudes can do it. Oh yeah, but no one's gonna do it except
for Jeff Cavanaugh. Mike did it. Yeah, we're all around here,
(17:57):
Dan, he did it for theradio. It. Oh no, I
may start doing it all the time. You don't know, I know,
I know everything changed. He's changed. Yes, I've a changed man.
Changed them out in the last fiveyears. I haven't been that's right.
Well, this is a deep question. This is the kind of thing we
(18:18):
ask on our show. So andthen we were talking about this the other
day and somebody made us a cookiecake today, so people will will pay
us to be out and broadcast fromtheir house. So that's what we're doing
today. We're broadcast at some guysuh place, and they had a big
party and they had pizza and thenthey had you know, they had a
(18:41):
big cookie cookie cake. So youcan see that this all right? Well
you see what the cookie cake says, and I can explain it to you.
Okay. So do you know aboutthis groups? I think I do.
Okay, So it all stemmed froma hypothetical. Certainly, it's never
(19:03):
happened to me, but it wouldbe your wife, you know how wives
are guys. Yeah, So I'veheard of them to beat down. So
she finds that she finds you weresearching something some porn and on some of
these porn sites before the Texas governmentshut us down. You know, your
your your you porn, your pornhub, whatever. You would go in
(19:27):
and you can search a certain termand then all your favorite things. I
prefer like missionary. I will searchmissionary with my wife and then all the
videos. That's all you can search. But there are other terms in the
sex world. From what I understand, I'm not really into that that stuff,
(19:48):
but there are other terms you've heardabout. So then the thought was,
okay, if your wife found thatyou were searching the term braces,
okay, yeah, that would seemto few younger. This will be great
though, for Julie to answer,because she's a lady. So what would
you be more disturbed by if youwould find out your husband was searching mouth
(20:15):
braces or leg braces. What wouldbe more disturbed I think definitely mouth braces.
Okay, so you would rather yourhusband was into like gimps or whatever.
(20:37):
Probably the leg bracing would be reallyweird, and that would be like
a very strange fetish that I wouldfeel a little bit like I'd just been
excluded from his true feelings about loveand life. If you never told me
had a thing for leg brace,women you could wear like, but I
wouldn't be like disgusted and mad really, Whereas if it was brace is like
(21:02):
on little girls, well no,but they would be They would be thirty
year old ladies with braces. Thereare some ladies out there like that,
I know. But the search forbraces, you're gonna mostly get underage.
Oh no, you're on a pornsite. They're gonna be eighteen. Yeah,
man, it'll be eighteen, andmost of them will be in their
probably twenties and thirties that look asyoung as they can would be? How
(21:22):
that works? What's wrong with allof you men that search? And it's
hypothetical, I know, but likeit's just crazy. This is not real.
I mean, we're just ripen marketor whatever is so oversaturated that people
have to find these really bizarre littleniches of things to get them excited.
(21:44):
It is true, so like braces, Come on, man, I think
I'd be equally disturbed by bothies.Have you ever searched porn? No?
For real? All right, Ididn't know. I know some ladies do.
No, I would be no,I don't really want to. This
(22:07):
is what Dan does. What I'mjust asking a question. I just threw
a banana napter that I too.Think it's interesting the number of I've got
a banana napkin, the Kimes ofblazing Man. Look at this guy,
you could stand up on its own. Why do you let it all go?
(22:27):
Why do women lie about that?Not that women in particular, but
obviously by the percentages, plenty ofwomen look at porn also, But do
you think, oh, yeah,yeah, yeah, okay, I'm not
familiar with I bet we could sciencethis, they could look it up,
and I bet the numbers, likeI don't know, twenty to thirty percent,
but I bet the numbers. Ohthat feels high. But I bet
the number that admits it is liketwo. Whereas guys are kind of like,
(22:49):
yeah, I'll be poorn. Iget grossed out by all of it,
Honestly, I don't know. Idon't know. It's super grossed And
to sit there and actually think aboutlike searching something like is really gross to
me, which is something up?Yeah, Like I don't know. I'm
just I guess busy. I don'thave time for that Dan, which side
are you using now? With thenew rule? Care that much? You
(23:11):
have a verified long I want tosee strangers doing that stuff. Actually,
the new rules are very bothersome,and it smacks me in the face now
and again when I forget and thenyou type it in you're like, oh
no, there's all this. It'stext. I don't like text photos and
videos and stuff. So yeah,no it's tough. But one of our
listeners like, I don't even knowwhat this means. I kind of know,
(23:37):
but they said they set us upwith a VPN. Oh yeah,
it says you're somewhere else, whichapparently didn't get you around things. And
I haven't attempted to use VPN yet, but I appreciate somebody helping me out.
If you have a porn somebody outlooking out for me, Yeah,
give them my banana. Wish Icould get that hold on. Guys,
this a harden question of porn.Pet horn what had I don't know what
(24:00):
that is? Like, what doyou use to surf? Do you use
your standard laptop or phone or doyou have a designated device that is old
and outdated that you don't care aboutthat you use. I didn't know that
exists. Really, people do that? I have like a fifteen year old
iPad. Yeah, oh no,I just I thought it was just everybody
just use their computer. Oh dude, that's hay end up people knowing stuff.
(24:21):
This Porn round Table has been reallyfun, but it's time to go
to break, all right. Comingup next something else
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