There’s been a major shift in racial awareness, acceptance and harmony when you look through the lens of interracial relationships and families, but in 2023 there’s still a lot of work to do. Meet Georgio Reed a new dad to a beautiful mixed baby girl, who is also a proud Black and Filipino man. He joins us to talk about his part in the new documentary 1000% Me: Growing Up Mixed, which spotlights and celebrates Bay Area families that have more than one race/culture in their family. Georgio and his much younger brother are featured and they explore how different each of their experiences is and has been. We also talk about outer appearance and the tough convos that happen between mixed race children and their parents who may not see the world through their eyes. Also- why do people feel the urge to touch our mixed hair?! Listen in as we welcome 3 generations on our podcast at once for the first time when Georgio, his beautiful babygirl as well as his mom spiritual coach, motivational speaker and social justice activist Carolyn join us!
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(00:00):
This Mama Got Drama back for anotherepisode. I am your hostess, Lady
Ray. Our co host Rina Gonzalezis off being a radio mama. She'll
join us on the next one,but we have some amazing guests to fill
the void. We've I've been excitedabout this interview for months. Um,
We've got Carolyn and her son Georgioon the line. How are you feeling
(00:21):
today? Feeling great? Awesome?You know what, Carolyn did the right
thing because we usually clap it upwhen we get here because just to get
on sometimes is like, oh mygoodness, because you're we're talking about bringing
working parents together and balancing all ofour schedules and trying to get on just
(00:43):
to have a conversation where there isn'ta toddler in the background or uh,
someone someone pulling at you like ohI need this, I need or I'm
I need to be dropped off here, brought over here. So being a
working parentum is a lot of juggling. And so we talk about on This
Mamma God Drama, we talk aboutthe emotions that go into it. You
(01:04):
you go one minute from super happy, elated to just wanting to pull your
hair out because you can't get onetask done because you're you're you're you're taking
care of your your babies right andbeing a working parent, you're also chasing
career goals. You're also chasing youraspirations. And let's let's go ahead and
add in trying to find time forself care. It's a lot. And
(01:26):
so we are going to dive intoday and not only talk about the emotions
that go into parenting, but thefact that you know, we haven't even
brought in conversations that sometimes can betough, and conversations that can shape how
you feel about yourself, how youidentify and myself included. I come from
(01:47):
a mixed family, and we've gotour two guests that are you know,
product of blending families and when Isay blending different cultures coming together and growing
and blossoming in to what we havein twenty twenty three where it's so normal
now to see mixed families. WhenI was a kid, it was like
and Georgio, you can attest tothis. I saw the big that you
(02:08):
talked about it in the documentary oflike how it's different at your age versus
your little brother who is what howmany years apart are you and your little
brother. We're twenty two years apart, so your experience and your little brother's
experience night and day, right,Georgio very much and it's very clear.
(02:30):
I mean, do you feel likeyou've had the opportunity to kind of help
him ease into certain conversations because youwent through it the way you went through
it? Honestly, I can't saythat I really have. I think because
of how big of an age gapwe have and now being back here,
(02:55):
like even just finding the time inthat bonding time to really get into conversations
like that. And he's like he'sthirteen now, so he's kind of that
that age where it's like everything's justokay, good and doesn't really want to
share. So it's like I tryever since the documentary, like I've tried
(03:17):
to pry even just asking more questionsabout him, like is he like,
is there's somebody at school like justyou know, all the subtle stuff of
just like opening up and right,and he's still very like I don't think.
I don't think it's hit him orhe's gone through it as much,
or if he has, he justhe's very silent about it. But at
(03:40):
least the way he he portrays hislike all his friends are either mixed there
are pretty chill, and he hasn'tgone through a lot of the stuff that
I feel like I've had to gothrough or that I've went through, so
I can't say that I've done that. Where could answer some questions that he
(04:00):
might have. But I told him, I was like, if something ever
comes up, man, you startquestioning, like just call me, just
tex me, call me whatever,So you want to come over, so
well, just knowing that that guidanceis there is already um, is already
a support right um. And we'rewe're kind of tiptoeing around what we're talking
(04:23):
about. And you know, youwere in a documentary A thousand percent um,
which you can actually watch on HBOMax. I'm sure there might be
some other ways to get it aswell, Um, but this documentary really
dives into the conversation of how youidentify as a mixed race person, right
Um. I it's it's it's.It brings a smile to my face,
(04:46):
to my heart because I remember cominginto the media business, um, you
know, twenty years ago and beinglike I'm gonna be that person. I'm
gonna be one of those people thatis in the forefront on TV, behind
you know, a voice on theradio that speaks for mixed race people,
(05:08):
because there really wasn't somebody doing it. And the reason it makes me smile
is because you talk about your brother, who now in twenty twenty three doesn't
have to really call you and belike what do I do when this happens?
Or how can people are looking atme this way? Or how can
my black friends say I'm not blackenough? Or my Filipino friends say I'm
not Filipino enough, you know,whatever the conversation because now he has mixed
(05:30):
friends all around them, and sothey're all kind of rejoicing in this mixing,
blending pot that is the Bay Areathat is our country now to the
point where, like before, peoplewere making a big deal off of like
a mixed race couple in a commercialon television. Do you remember when that
happened and they were like, whata black mom and a white dad,
(05:50):
this is unheard of? And it'slike, no, we're out here living.
Carolyn. You know you can speakto that because you've raised you know,
a blended mixed family. I meanyou've you've probably seen more of like
the transformation over the years. Howhow was it for you just even you
know, having this crazy, wildidea of dating outside your race? Oh
(06:14):
my goodness. Well, oh okay, come back a long time ago,
and actually it's I've processed a lotsince then. But what I like to
say, especially in this day andage, I'm now fifty five years old.
I had Georgio when I was veryyoung. I had him when I
was twenty, and then I hadMiles in another generation, right twenty two
(06:40):
years after that. I was inmy forties when I had Miles, and
so I thought I was done.Georgio turned eighteen and I was like,
yeah, I yes, you know, I thought I was going to be
partying but not. But back thenwe didn't have the length which we didn't
have this. I was very veryearly on even in my own decolonization journey,
(07:11):
my own sort of self discovery interms of I always knew I was
Filipina. I always knew, butwhat that meant, right, what that
meant to be in a relationship witha person who identified as black, who
had the experience that Georgio's dad hadand was living through, right, And
(07:32):
I had separated myself. I didn'tknow how to integrate. I didn't know
even as we had Georgio, Ididn't have the language to support him in
coming up in those identities because Iwas still trying to grasp my own right
(07:53):
and then I didn't have enough agencyat that time to know that that I
had to build out my own competence. I had to build out my own
understanding and knowledge of the experiences asas a mixed person, right, because
(08:18):
that I used to always say,well, that's not my you tell you
talk to him about being black andall talk to him about being Filipino,
and then we just assume that shewould embody, you know, that that
kind of formula, when now weknow that that's not it right, that
the responsibility is all of ours.So I've apologized to Georgio many, many
(08:41):
times, and and you know,I think it's it's a journey all of
us, the whole family really,and all of Georgio's cousins, at least
on my side of the family andalso on his death side of the family.
Everyone's mixed, right, right,you know, and and and when,
(09:03):
and we can now have those conversationsat very different levels. His Georgio's
grandparents my parents are our social justiceadvocates. Now you know, all their
grandkids are are mixed. They knowwhat that means in the context of our
world. So it's it's been ajourney for all of us. So I'm
(09:26):
I'm so proud of Georgio because firstof all, that that he's always had
the patience, right, he's alwayshad the characteristics of being a patient person,
and and I'm very grateful for that. Yeah, it definitely it takes
patience, right, But it's also, like you said, a whole family
(09:52):
picture of growth, of understanding,of just learning, right, because you
brought up a really good point ofyou know, looking at your family now
and it's like this this beautiful kindof see of mixing and color and culture,
and that's that's my family too.You know, going back to when
my mom and my dad started dating, it was unheard of. It was
(10:18):
like you brought home who and whatis going to happen? You know,
And it wasn't even like from aplace of um from being prejudice or racist.
It was just it wasn't something thatthey were used to. And so
it took time, like you said, just to to have these conversations or
whatever. The level, it isright, um, like I said to
(10:39):
now seeing how how welcoming and howum robust and fool the family feels now
because we have so many cultures thatare that are working together and building this
brand new kind of idea of family. So while I'll tell you, lady
rate like in in my family,I will I will be honest. A
lot of it was race, cyst. A lot of it is my was
(11:01):
my own racism, right with myown colonized sense of who I am right
as as as an immigrant, asas a Filipina, right like the what
was transmitted to me in our culture. Like I continued that even though I
was married to a black person,you know, so a lot of that
(11:26):
I've had to unravel, I've lokedto to to really deal with. And
so Georgia has been, um beenmy uh been side by side with me.
But I'd like to I like tojoke around that we'll not joke around
because it's true that that he helpedme grow up just as a parent,
(11:48):
but as as a person. Andnow that that now that I see him
as a parent, I'm like,oh, yes, my my granddaughter is
just the most precious thing. AndI I feel so alive when when I
know that, um, that thatshe's she's in the care of a person
(12:15):
of a man who does a lotof um self self discovery and who's very
thoughtful. Um, and so that'swhat I'm really proud of. Oh yeah,
I'm starting to cry. Yeah,I mean, this is this Mamma
ga drama. The emotions on hereare real, Like we we like to
to to work through these emotions thatwe're feeling as parents, as grandparents,
(12:37):
as the village as says, raisingthese little people indcapable people. And you
know, I depended on the villagereally to yeah help me raise them.
Yeah, there's no way to doit without a village. It really isn't.
And and some people say, well, I'm a single parent, I
do it on my own or um, you know, I'm I'm this and
I'm that. But it's like youhave friends around you. You may not
(12:58):
have blood family, there's someone inyour village that's helping support um. You
know, uh, these these parentsas they raise these little ones into capable
ones. And I do have topoint out the fact that this is this
month, you know, as thefirst time we're featuring Dad's right, that's
already been cool this month. Um. And this is Georgio's first Father's Day,
(13:20):
right, since she's only seven months, so this is your first Father's
Day. So happy, Happy Father'sDay month. And I have to point
out because most of the people thatare tuning into the podcast are only getting
the audio portion of this. Thisis the first time we have three generations
on the podcast. And it's amazingbecause Georgio just brought baby Girl into the
(13:41):
shot and she just gave a milliondollar beautiful smile, probably because she can
see her Lola in the in thescreen. And it's it's these moments,
right that we actually are working for, is to have these memories and to
you know, create these these momentsthat that are forever imprinted on your heart.
(14:01):
Um. And we were talking earlierabout this idea of being in twenty
twenty three, and you know,the experience being so different for mixed children
now, like my kids are,they're super mixed, their hollow hollo mixed
mix. Right, They've got alot going on there. My kids are
black, they're Filipino, they're Guatemalan, and they're Italian. Like it's everything
(14:22):
right, and so, um,it's it's it's it's normalized and I like
that, but it's also still newin the sense that you know, we
are working hard to understand ourselves andunderstand how we identify in the community.
And one of the ways that weidentify is just out how our outer appearances.
(14:45):
And and Carol and I were talkingabout this a little bit off offline,
and we'll ask you, Georgio,I mean hair and your identity is
such a big thing, like Idon't know about you, but it's did
your mom. Was your mom handin hand with you, were like to
do your hair or were you justlike left, like, okay, you
(15:07):
figure this out yourself, go ahead. It was it was definitely more of
a I don't know what to dowith it, let's cut it. And
then once it's cut and starts growingback, it's I don't know what to
do with it. And she'd alwaystake me to the lady that she goes
(15:30):
to get her hair done and theygive me like a flat top for the
most part, because it was justlike simple, like you could see the
straight line here, and then I'lljust say they off the side. I
don't even know if it was afade off the side or if it was
zero, but at the same time, like where I was going to school
at in the Sunset District, itwas like mainly Asian kids, and I
(15:56):
think I was maybe like one offive black kids that were there. So
I'm really the only kid in myclass for sure, And even older kids
in me like that had the hairthat I had, so nobody was really
telling me nothing or anything. That'sjust that's just what my hair is.
But I feel like if I wentto a public school in the city,
(16:18):
then that would have put I'm prettysure I would have got it from all
angles, from from everybody. Butbut it was it was interesting. I
mean there's always the whole oh man, what does that feel like? And
the whole petting of the hair thingand and all that, and so I
didn't realize that it wasn't cool fora long time. But then when I
(16:41):
got older. I think there wasan incident where that I heard my mom
talk about with Miles where somebody putglitter in his hair or something and he
has like dreads, but it's likenappy nappy dreads, not well taking care
of dreads. It's just like allthere. So I thought like, yeah,
(17:04):
I'm like, glitter is hard toget off on any smooth surface like
that that's happened, Like, yeah, yeah, that's he's probably still got
glitter in his head somewhere. ButI was I was just like, oh,
I've been trying to get him totalk about that, even as I
(17:26):
asked questions about like any situations thathas happened, but he hasn't said it.
So I'm not gonna like actually pointedout, honestly if hill I want
to see if he's gonna come aroundto that. But that's definitely. I
don't think anybody's ever put anything inmy hair besides me myself hiding pens and
holding pens and pencils. But yeah, the whole petting of the hair,
(17:52):
it's like it's you'd be out andpeople just are so taken a bag by
your texture and they just wow.And the part about it is that really
irks me as people who put theirhands in your hair as their quote unquote
asking oh can I touch that,I'm like, but you're already touching me.
Your hands are already in my scalp, Like don't you have to wait
for my answer? And I rememberbeing in an elevator and this is like
(18:15):
the worst place to do it becausethere's no exit, right Like, I'm
in an elevator, I can't getoff. And the lady was like,
I will buy your hair and this, this and this, and I'm like,
first off, no, Secondly,why are you you know, it's
just it's really um. It justputs you in a position where you're just
(18:36):
like you feel so alienated and madeto feel just not human, right Like
it's it's not cool to to walkup to anybody and just start touching their
hair, let alone. You knowprobably it probably happened to you. Same
for me as a child, andit's like a child doesn't always know how
(18:56):
to, you know, show theirboundary or or say no. Um.
And so that was that was toughfor me growing up. And you talk
about going to these these salaves andgetting you know, the fading or the
lack thereof should I say, butthe but the the fact that you um
have these moments where you had thethe square top on it. You know,
(19:19):
at least you left with a haircut. I've had instances where I'm
gone and there they stir up anddown, they can do my kind of
hair quote unquote, and I leaveout of there looking like mufassa. Times
one hundred and five because it's blownout and they don't know what. You
can't cut it wet, you gottacut it dry. But they don't know
how to um to blow it outor flat iron. It was a it
(19:40):
was a whole thing. And soI remember as a kid, my mom
saying, you have to call andask can they do black hair? And
I was so offended when my momsaid that, because I was like,
they they should just be able todo hair. Why they gotta dolo?
But it's a real it's a realquestion though, it really is because our
hair is different. Our hair hasdifferent textures. It you know, comes
(20:03):
in so many different textures on topof that, So, you know,
being able to have these conversations anddo it in a way that is sensitive
and caring is really what matters.There's so much that I want to talk
to you about, and I wantto save it for another podcast because I
feel like we can dive into somany different things. But can you tell
(20:26):
the people that haven't had a chanceor an opportunity to see the documentary,
tell them about it. Give hima little bit about you and your brother
and your family, and just youknow, give him a little intro.
Yeah. So the documentary that wewere a part of it is called A
thousand Percent Me Growing Up Mixed.In all the families were our families in
(20:47):
the Bay Area, and I thinkwe're myself and my little brother, who's
Miles, who's thirteen. Now hisActually something that he said in the documentary
is what inspired the title. Sohe said, UM, what do you
say, I'm not half this,I'm half that out. I'm one thousand
(21:07):
percent a person. And so thatkind of inspired the title of the of
the documentary. Um. And soI'm sorry, I'm gonna have to let
somebody in in a second. Um, but yeah, it follows a whole
bunch of families just talking about theirexperiences growing up mixed, um, and
sharing their stories and challenges between parentsraising them and or the kids themselves.
(21:34):
Sorry, give me one second,it real quick. Um. But um,
I'm gonna trying to move out oftheir way too. It's good.
(21:59):
Um. But yeah. So itgoes into really just how kids today,
because the majority of it is kidstoday, how it is growing up mixed,
and their experiences and how they feel, whether it's do they feel like
they're one race or ethnicity more thanthe other versa. But what it comes
(22:26):
down to is they don't see itthat way at all. They kind of
look at it like pizza toppings.I'm a pizza and everything that I am
just goes on top of this pizzato make a really good pizza. Not
I'm half half much froom, halfpepperoni. It's like, nah, it's
all mush from pepperoni, all this, all that, and so they actually
(22:48):
welcome it. And I would saythat's huge props to the parents at this
point now too, is being ableto teach that to their to their kids,
because yeah, it was something thatI wish for as a kid,
was like, oh, I hopeit's easier for my child by time I
(23:10):
have a kid whenever, that waslike that they don't have to go through
the small, little micro stuff thatI did. I'm sure kids are kids,
and I'm sure it'll still happen,but I think being able to handle
it will be a little bit different. And I'm sure clicks in schools are
a little bit different. It's morethere's a lot more mixed kids, so
(23:32):
I think everybody could blend and gettogether that way, whereas back back then
it wasn't. And that's something thatI touched on in in the documentary a
little bit. Was didn't had thatgrowing up in the city. It was
like black white Filipino or something.Was until high school that I started having
(23:52):
like black and Filipino friends. Oh, you black and Filipino too, because
he kind of just knows, like, you know, to bro, like
you feel great? How you know? It's like because I am, like,
I could see that, right,But but it was it was more
challenging in middle school and in gradeschool. So it's, uh, I
(24:18):
like, how things are better now, and you kind of see that from
kids. You also hear that theystill get picked on for either looking one
assuming that they look one ethnicity andnot the other, and only seeing one
half of them and not the whole. So I think that's more of their
challenge. Um. But yeah,So if you haven't seen the documentary you're
(24:40):
listening, you haven't seen the documentary, just go see it. Find a
friend, go go hop on theirHBO Max and watch it. Have a
movie. Nice some it's only anhour long, so you're gonna want more.
You're gonna want more when they watchit. They once you if you
haven't seen it, and you gosee it. You're gonna want more,
or if you've seen it, you'regonna watch it again. Believe me a
(25:03):
thousand percent. Me Hbo Max isright there for you. You can watch
it on the comfort your couch,so you can look at the screen and
be like, oh my God,like I didn't have these questions, and
then know how to pose them toyour friends that are mixed, because I
guarantee you got at least one orfive mixed friends around you if you're not
the mixed friend yourself. So,Georgio, we got so much more to
talk about. He is. Heis the epitome of what we talk about
(25:26):
on this Mamma God drama, whichis that parent that's juggling at all.
He's got his baby strapped to hiscarrier. He is at work, You're
about to train somebody. We hadhis mamam on. So he is juggling
it all and making it look effortlessright now. So next time we have
you all, we're gonna talk abouthow you do it, how you manage
all that, and how you aretaking on this new father role. Happy
(25:49):
Father's Day. We appreciate you forbeing one of the first dads to come
on this Mamma God drama and keepup the great word awesome, Thank you,
Lady Ray.
This Mama Got Drama back for anotherepisode. I am your hostess, Lady
Ray. Our co host Rina Gonzalezis off being a radio mama. She'll
join us on the next one,but we have some amazing guests to fill
the void. We've I've been excitedabout this interview for months. Um,
We've got Carolyn and her son Georgioon the line. How are you feeling
(00:21):
today? Feeling great? Awesome?You know what, Carolyn did the right
thing because we usually clap it upwhen we get here because just to get
on sometimes is like, oh mygoodness, because you're we're talking about bringing
working parents together and balancing all ofour schedules and trying to get on just
(00:43):
to have a conversation where there isn'ta toddler in the background or uh,
someone someone pulling at you like ohI need this, I need or I'm
I need to be dropped off here, brought over here. So being a
working parentum is a lot of juggling. And so we talk about on This
Mamma God Drama, we talk aboutthe emotions that go into it. You
(01:04):
you go one minute from super happy, elated to just wanting to pull your
hair out because you can't get onetask done because you're you're you're you're taking
care of your your babies right andbeing a working parent, you're also chasing
career goals. You're also chasing youraspirations. And let's let's go ahead and
add in trying to find time forself care. It's a lot. And
(01:26):
so we are going to dive intoday and not only talk about the emotions
that go into parenting, but thefact that you know, we haven't even
brought in conversations that sometimes can betough, and conversations that can shape how
you feel about yourself, how youidentify and myself included. I come from
(01:47):
a mixed family, and we've gotour two guests that are you know,
product of blending families and when Isay blending different cultures coming together and growing
and blossoming in to what we havein twenty twenty three where it's so normal
now to see mixed families. WhenI was a kid, it was like
and Georgio, you can attest tothis. I saw the big that you
(02:08):
talked about it in the documentary oflike how it's different at your age versus
your little brother who is what howmany years apart are you and your little
brother. We're twenty two years apart, so your experience and your little brother's
experience night and day, right,Georgio very much and it's very clear.
(02:30):
I mean, do you feel likeyou've had the opportunity to kind of help
him ease into certain conversations because youwent through it the way you went through
it? Honestly, I can't saythat I really have. I think because
of how big of an age gapwe have and now being back here,
(02:55):
like even just finding the time inthat bonding time to really get into conversations
like that. And he's like he'sthirteen now, so he's kind of that
that age where it's like everything's justokay, good and doesn't really want to
share. So it's like I tryever since the documentary, like I've tried
(03:17):
to pry even just asking more questionsabout him, like is he like,
is there's somebody at school like justyou know, all the subtle stuff of
just like opening up and right,and he's still very like I don't think.
I don't think it's hit him orhe's gone through it as much,
or if he has, he justhe's very silent about it. But at
(03:40):
least the way he he portrays hislike all his friends are either mixed there
are pretty chill, and he hasn'tgone through a lot of the stuff that
I feel like I've had to gothrough or that I've went through, so
I can't say that I've done that. Where could answer some questions that he
(04:00):
might have. But I told him, I was like, if something ever
comes up, man, you startquestioning, like just call me, just
tex me, call me whatever,So you want to come over, so
well, just knowing that that guidanceis there is already um, is already
a support right um. And we'rewe're kind of tiptoeing around what we're talking
(04:23):
about. And you know, youwere in a documentary A thousand percent um,
which you can actually watch on HBOMax. I'm sure there might be
some other ways to get it aswell, Um, but this documentary really
dives into the conversation of how youidentify as a mixed race person, right
Um. I it's it's it's.It brings a smile to my face,
(04:46):
to my heart because I remember cominginto the media business, um, you
know, twenty years ago and beinglike I'm gonna be that person. I'm
gonna be one of those people thatis in the forefront on TV, behind
you know, a voice on theradio that speaks for mixed race people,
(05:08):
because there really wasn't somebody doing it. And the reason it makes me smile
is because you talk about your brother, who now in twenty twenty three doesn't
have to really call you and belike what do I do when this happens?
Or how can people are looking atme this way? Or how can
my black friends say I'm not blackenough? Or my Filipino friends say I'm
not Filipino enough, you know,whatever the conversation because now he has mixed
(05:30):
friends all around them, and sothey're all kind of rejoicing in this mixing,
blending pot that is the Bay Areathat is our country now to the
point where, like before, peoplewere making a big deal off of like
a mixed race couple in a commercialon television. Do you remember when that
happened and they were like, whata black mom and a white dad,
(05:50):
this is unheard of? And it'slike, no, we're out here living.
Carolyn. You know you can speakto that because you've raised you know,
a blended mixed family. I meanyou've you've probably seen more of like
the transformation over the years. Howhow was it for you just even you
know, having this crazy, wildidea of dating outside your race? Oh
(06:14):
my goodness. Well, oh okay, come back a long time ago,
and actually it's I've processed a lotsince then. But what I like to
say, especially in this day andage, I'm now fifty five years old.
I had Georgio when I was veryyoung. I had him when I
was twenty, and then I hadMiles in another generation, right twenty two
(06:40):
years after that. I was inmy forties when I had Miles, and
so I thought I was done.Georgio turned eighteen and I was like,
yeah, I yes, you know, I thought I was going to be
partying but not. But back thenwe didn't have the length which we didn't
have this. I was very veryearly on even in my own decolonization journey,
(07:11):
my own sort of self discovery interms of I always knew I was
Filipina. I always knew, butwhat that meant, right, what that
meant to be in a relationship witha person who identified as black, who
had the experience that Georgio's dad hadand was living through, right, And
(07:32):
I had separated myself. I didn'tknow how to integrate. I didn't know
even as we had Georgio, Ididn't have the language to support him in
coming up in those identities because Iwas still trying to grasp my own right
(07:53):
and then I didn't have enough agencyat that time to know that that I
had to build out my own competence. I had to build out my own
understanding and knowledge of the experiences asas a mixed person, right, because
(08:18):
that I used to always say,well, that's not my you tell you
talk to him about being black andall talk to him about being Filipino,
and then we just assume that shewould embody, you know, that that
kind of formula, when now weknow that that's not it right, that
the responsibility is all of ours.So I've apologized to Georgio many, many
(08:41):
times, and and you know,I think it's it's a journey all of
us, the whole family really,and all of Georgio's cousins, at least
on my side of the family andalso on his death side of the family.
Everyone's mixed, right, right,you know, and and and when,
(09:03):
and we can now have those conversationsat very different levels. His Georgio's
grandparents my parents are our social justiceadvocates. Now you know, all their
grandkids are are mixed. They knowwhat that means in the context of our
world. So it's it's been ajourney for all of us. So I'm
(09:26):
I'm so proud of Georgio because firstof all, that that he's always had
the patience, right, he's alwayshad the characteristics of being a patient person,
and and I'm very grateful for that. Yeah, it definitely it takes
patience, right, But it's also, like you said, a whole family
(09:52):
picture of growth, of understanding,of just learning, right, because you
brought up a really good point ofyou know, looking at your family now
and it's like this this beautiful kindof see of mixing and color and culture,
and that's that's my family too.You know, going back to when
my mom and my dad started dating, it was unheard of. It was
(10:18):
like you brought home who and whatis going to happen? You know,
And it wasn't even like from aplace of um from being prejudice or racist.
It was just it wasn't something thatthey were used to. And so
it took time, like you said, just to to have these conversations or
whatever. The level, it isright, um, like I said to
(10:39):
now seeing how how welcoming and howum robust and fool the family feels now
because we have so many cultures thatare that are working together and building this
brand new kind of idea of family. So while I'll tell you, lady
rate like in in my family,I will I will be honest. A
lot of it was race, cyst. A lot of it is my was
(11:01):
my own racism, right with myown colonized sense of who I am right
as as as an immigrant, asas a Filipina, right like the what
was transmitted to me in our culture. Like I continued that even though I
was married to a black person,you know, so a lot of that
(11:26):
I've had to unravel, I've lokedto to to really deal with. And
so Georgia has been, um beenmy uh been side by side with me.
But I'd like to I like tojoke around that we'll not joke around
because it's true that that he helpedme grow up just as a parent,
(11:48):
but as as a person. Andnow that that now that I see him
as a parent, I'm like,oh, yes, my my granddaughter is
just the most precious thing. AndI I feel so alive when when I
know that, um, that thatshe's she's in the care of a person
(12:15):
of a man who does a lotof um self self discovery and who's very
thoughtful. Um, and so that'swhat I'm really proud of. Oh yeah,
I'm starting to cry. Yeah,I mean, this is this Mamma
ga drama. The emotions on hereare real, Like we we like to
to to work through these emotions thatwe're feeling as parents, as grandparents,
(12:37):
as the village as says, raisingthese little people indcapable people. And you
know, I depended on the villagereally to yeah help me raise them.
Yeah, there's no way to doit without a village. It really isn't.
And and some people say, well, I'm a single parent, I
do it on my own or um, you know, I'm I'm this and
I'm that. But it's like youhave friends around you. You may not
(12:58):
have blood family, there's someone inyour village that's helping support um. You
know, uh, these these parentsas they raise these little ones into capable
ones. And I do have topoint out the fact that this is this
month, you know, as thefirst time we're featuring Dad's right, that's
already been cool this month. Um. And this is Georgio's first Father's Day,
(13:20):
right, since she's only seven months, so this is your first Father's
Day. So happy, Happy Father'sDay month. And I have to point
out because most of the people thatare tuning into the podcast are only getting
the audio portion of this. Thisis the first time we have three generations
on the podcast. And it's amazingbecause Georgio just brought baby Girl into the
(13:41):
shot and she just gave a milliondollar beautiful smile, probably because she can
see her Lola in the in thescreen. And it's it's these moments,
right that we actually are working for, is to have these memories and to
you know, create these these momentsthat that are forever imprinted on your heart.
(14:01):
Um. And we were talking earlierabout this idea of being in twenty
twenty three, and you know,the experience being so different for mixed children
now, like my kids are,they're super mixed, their hollow hollo mixed
mix. Right, They've got alot going on there. My kids are
black, they're Filipino, they're Guatemalan, and they're Italian. Like it's everything
(14:22):
right, and so, um,it's it's it's it's normalized and I like
that, but it's also still newin the sense that you know, we
are working hard to understand ourselves andunderstand how we identify in the community.
And one of the ways that weidentify is just out how our outer appearances.
(14:45):
And and Carol and I were talkingabout this a little bit off offline,
and we'll ask you, Georgio,I mean hair and your identity is
such a big thing, like Idon't know about you, but it's did
your mom. Was your mom handin hand with you, were like to
do your hair or were you justlike left, like, okay, you
(15:07):
figure this out yourself, go ahead. It was it was definitely more of
a I don't know what to dowith it, let's cut it. And
then once it's cut and starts growingback, it's I don't know what to
do with it. And she'd alwaystake me to the lady that she goes
(15:30):
to get her hair done and theygive me like a flat top for the
most part, because it was justlike simple, like you could see the
straight line here, and then I'lljust say they off the side. I
don't even know if it was afade off the side or if it was
zero, but at the same time, like where I was going to school
at in the Sunset District, itwas like mainly Asian kids, and I
(15:56):
think I was maybe like one offive black kids that were there. So
I'm really the only kid in myclass for sure, And even older kids
in me like that had the hairthat I had, so nobody was really
telling me nothing or anything. That'sjust that's just what my hair is.
But I feel like if I wentto a public school in the city,
(16:18):
then that would have put I'm prettysure I would have got it from all
angles, from from everybody. Butbut it was it was interesting. I
mean there's always the whole oh man, what does that feel like? And
the whole petting of the hair thingand and all that, and so I
didn't realize that it wasn't cool fora long time. But then when I
(16:41):
got older. I think there wasan incident where that I heard my mom
talk about with Miles where somebody putglitter in his hair or something and he
has like dreads, but it's likenappy nappy dreads, not well taking care
of dreads. It's just like allthere. So I thought like, yeah,
(17:04):
I'm like, glitter is hard toget off on any smooth surface like
that that's happened, Like, yeah, yeah, that's he's probably still got
glitter in his head somewhere. ButI was I was just like, oh,
I've been trying to get him totalk about that, even as I
(17:26):
asked questions about like any situations thathas happened, but he hasn't said it.
So I'm not gonna like actually pointedout, honestly if hill I want
to see if he's gonna come aroundto that. But that's definitely. I
don't think anybody's ever put anything inmy hair besides me myself hiding pens and
holding pens and pencils. But yeah, the whole petting of the hair,
(17:52):
it's like it's you'd be out andpeople just are so taken a bag by
your texture and they just wow.And the part about it is that really
irks me as people who put theirhands in your hair as their quote unquote
asking oh can I touch that,I'm like, but you're already touching me.
Your hands are already in my scalp, Like don't you have to wait
for my answer? And I rememberbeing in an elevator and this is like
(18:15):
the worst place to do it becausethere's no exit, right Like, I'm
in an elevator, I can't getoff. And the lady was like,
I will buy your hair and this, this and this, and I'm like,
first off, no, Secondly,why are you you know, it's
just it's really um. It justputs you in a position where you're just
(18:36):
like you feel so alienated and madeto feel just not human, right Like
it's it's not cool to to walkup to anybody and just start touching their
hair, let alone. You knowprobably it probably happened to you. Same
for me as a child, andit's like a child doesn't always know how
(18:56):
to, you know, show theirboundary or or say no. Um.
And so that was that was toughfor me growing up. And you talk
about going to these these salaves andgetting you know, the fading or the
lack thereof should I say, butthe but the the fact that you um
have these moments where you had thethe square top on it. You know,
(19:19):
at least you left with a haircut. I've had instances where I'm
gone and there they stir up anddown, they can do my kind of
hair quote unquote, and I leaveout of there looking like mufassa. Times
one hundred and five because it's blownout and they don't know what. You
can't cut it wet, you gottacut it dry. But they don't know
how to um to blow it outor flat iron. It was a it
(19:40):
was a whole thing. And soI remember as a kid, my mom
saying, you have to call andask can they do black hair? And
I was so offended when my momsaid that, because I was like,
they they should just be able todo hair. Why they gotta dolo?
But it's a real it's a realquestion though, it really is because our
hair is different. Our hair hasdifferent textures. It you know, comes
(20:03):
in so many different textures on topof that, So, you know,
being able to have these conversations anddo it in a way that is sensitive
and caring is really what matters.There's so much that I want to talk
to you about, and I wantto save it for another podcast because I
feel like we can dive into somany different things. But can you tell
(20:26):
the people that haven't had a chanceor an opportunity to see the documentary,
tell them about it. Give hima little bit about you and your brother
and your family, and just youknow, give him a little intro.
Yeah. So the documentary that wewere a part of it is called A
thousand Percent Me Growing Up Mixed.In all the families were our families in
(20:47):
the Bay Area, and I thinkwe're myself and my little brother, who's
Miles, who's thirteen. Now hisActually something that he said in the documentary
is what inspired the title. Sohe said, UM, what do you
say, I'm not half this,I'm half that out. I'm one thousand
(21:07):
percent a person. And so thatkind of inspired the title of the of
the documentary. Um. And soI'm sorry, I'm gonna have to let
somebody in in a second. Um, but yeah, it follows a whole
bunch of families just talking about theirexperiences growing up mixed, um, and
sharing their stories and challenges between parentsraising them and or the kids themselves.
(21:34):
Sorry, give me one second,it real quick. Um. But um,
I'm gonna trying to move out oftheir way too. It's good.
(21:59):
Um. But yeah. So itgoes into really just how kids today,
because the majority of it is kidstoday, how it is growing up mixed,
and their experiences and how they feel, whether it's do they feel like
they're one race or ethnicity more thanthe other versa. But what it comes
(22:26):
down to is they don't see itthat way at all. They kind of
look at it like pizza toppings.I'm a pizza and everything that I am
just goes on top of this pizzato make a really good pizza. Not
I'm half half much froom, halfpepperoni. It's like, nah, it's
all mush from pepperoni, all this, all that, and so they actually
(22:48):
welcome it. And I would saythat's huge props to the parents at this
point now too, is being ableto teach that to their to their kids,
because yeah, it was something thatI wish for as a kid,
was like, oh, I hopeit's easier for my child by time I
(23:10):
have a kid whenever, that waslike that they don't have to go through
the small, little micro stuff thatI did. I'm sure kids are kids,
and I'm sure it'll still happen,but I think being able to handle
it will be a little bit different. And I'm sure clicks in schools are
a little bit different. It's morethere's a lot more mixed kids, so
(23:32):
I think everybody could blend and gettogether that way, whereas back back then
it wasn't. And that's something thatI touched on in in the documentary a
little bit. Was didn't had thatgrowing up in the city. It was
like black white Filipino or something.Was until high school that I started having
(23:52):
like black and Filipino friends. Oh, you black and Filipino too, because
he kind of just knows, like, you know, to bro, like
you feel great? How you know? It's like because I am, like,
I could see that, right,But but it was it was more
challenging in middle school and in gradeschool. So it's, uh, I
(24:18):
like, how things are better now, and you kind of see that from
kids. You also hear that theystill get picked on for either looking one
assuming that they look one ethnicity andnot the other, and only seeing one
half of them and not the whole. So I think that's more of their
challenge. Um. But yeah,So if you haven't seen the documentary you're
(24:40):
listening, you haven't seen the documentary, just go see it. Find a
friend, go go hop on theirHBO Max and watch it. Have a
movie. Nice some it's only anhour long, so you're gonna want more.
You're gonna want more when they watchit. They once you if you
haven't seen it, and you gosee it. You're gonna want more,
or if you've seen it, you'regonna watch it again. Believe me a
(25:03):
thousand percent. Me Hbo Max isright there for you. You can watch
it on the comfort your couch,so you can look at the screen and
be like, oh my God,like I didn't have these questions, and
then know how to pose them toyour friends that are mixed, because I
guarantee you got at least one orfive mixed friends around you if you're not
the mixed friend yourself. So,Georgio, we got so much more to
talk about. He is. Heis the epitome of what we talk about
(25:26):
on this Mamma God drama, whichis that parent that's juggling at all.
He's got his baby strapped to hiscarrier. He is at work, You're
about to train somebody. We hadhis mamam on. So he is juggling
it all and making it look effortlessright now. So next time we have
you all, we're gonna talk abouthow you do it, how you manage
all that, and how you aretaking on this new father role. Happy
(25:49):
Father's Day. We appreciate you forbeing one of the first dads to come
on this Mamma God drama and keepup the great word awesome, Thank you,
Lady Ray.
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