It’s pretty inevitable to remain completely the same person after going through pregnancy, the adventure that is labor and delivery to then officially become a mama. Through this process some of us even struggle with losing ourselves completely. It can be a scary, daunting and even painful transition. Through this time you’re also experiencing new levels of love and respect, creating core memories and realizing new strengths in yourself. Join us as we talk with Suzette Reynoso another warrior mama who turned this troubling time into win after win. She comes from the world of news broadcasting and after an out of state move from the Bay Area and becoming a new mommy she feared she wouldn’t be able to feel fulfilled or find what made her feel like herself again. Far from her village, she managed to create a support system, not only for herself but for other mamas too! While building her social media presence she found community and a space that allows her creativity to shine, an outlet where she can highlight mamahood and champion this integral role of mama to the family. In addition to this, Suzette has launched a play space for babies and kids with a café where moms can meet and just take a break to themselves while their kids play safely. We talk through building visions from the ground up to make them reality as well as how she is rebuilding her dream business, Tot Box Play Café, after a major traffic accident blasted through the front end of her space. Thankfully, no moms or children were injured, but there is major damage. She talks us through what led up to the accident, the devastation, reconstruction, her gratitude for protection and how she and her team are picking up the pieces to make it even better for the community they serve.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This Mama got Drama back for another episode. I'm always
excited when I look at my calendar and I'm like, oh,
it's a recording day. When my mama was Lady Ray
went to check in. Of course, we got an amazing
mom joining us for this episode. We got to make
some noise for Suzette Ray Knows, so.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Thank you so much. Ms Ray.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
How are you feeling today?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
You know, I am so excited, And it's so interesting
because I was checking in. I do kind of a
whole body check in right before the interview, and I
was like, man, this feels this feels different because as
a former news reporter, I was on the other end
and I'm like, why am I getting nervous? But you know,
I feel good, and I just want to thank you
for holding this space for us moms and creating this
(00:46):
space for us to just be honest and vulnerable and
keeping it real.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So thank you so much for this.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I appreciate that because, you know, as we were coming
out of the pandemic and I was having my baby,
my second, right, it was like, oh my gosh, like
this this is the time, right because I wanted to
do it after my first, but my first was such
a traumatic pregnancy and delivery, and so when my daughter came,
it was like more trauma, more craziness in terms of
(01:13):
like the world because we were in a pandemic, were
shut down, and so I had this opportunity to create
this podcast, and I was very nervous, like you said,
I was. We're used to being in media, Like you said,
you're a news reporter, and sometimes you know, you get
into a different space in media and you're like, wait
a minute, this is like my intern days, what's going on?
So I really appreciate you saying that because it is
(01:36):
a really really important space that we need to create
for our working mothers, not only our working moms, just
our working parents. It's a whole thing, right, So let's
talk about the fact that you are a mommy, a
working mommy, an entrepreneur mommy, and uplifting mommy, all the
things right, and you're also a digital creator mommy. Where
do I go from here? You got so much going on,
(01:58):
and you do it with grace, You do ease. But
what is something new that your baby girl is doing.
We always like to talk about our babies.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
It is so funny that you asked that she is
starting to really develop her sense of humor, and she's three,
and it is like, girl, you know, it's very inappropriate.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Sometimes I love it.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Yeah, we're out and you know, she's she's talking about
you know, kids, stuff, taller stuff. You know, things are
happening like hearts, and I'm like, okay, we're at a
fancy dinner.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Let's but it's like, okay, but let's tone it down.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
But this is what she is into.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
She's really honing on her sense of her identity and
it's kind of like, Okay, how do I say, you know,
let's tone that down.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
But I still want to give her that space to
express herself. So that's what she's doing now. She's a
little comedian.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
But that's what this this mama life is about, right
And that's why we call it this Mama Got drama
because we go through so many emotions as we're raising
our babies, as we're chasing down our dreams. And I
shouldn't even see say chasing as we grab our dreams
and grab our fulfilling lives. And it's funny that you
bring up the fact that your daughter is making these
inappropriate jokes, because that's dramatic right there. Well, sometimes I
(03:10):
was suing my daughter and everything's fine, We're good. I mean,
we were in Target the other day and she yelled out,
I gotta po and I'm like, oh god, you don't
have to yell at that loud. I'm standing right next
to you, and exactly what you said. I want her
to have that space, to be able to have that
vocal empowerment. But also mom, like you need to know,
(03:31):
like you can't just I gotta pull. It's funny, don't
get me wrong, but then it's always it's also like
trying to manage your own drama because you don't want
to laugh at it because that gives it more power.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Right, exactly exactly it is. It is something new, and
thank you for letting me know. I'm not alone.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
No, you're not at all. I mean we'll be we'll
be in the bathroom too, and she's just I mean
narrating everything. That's I'm like, you know, there's other people
in here too, right, Like, we don't have to tell
every out of our business. So it's been a it's
been a fun potty training public restroom using type situation
to the point where I have a I literally have
(04:11):
a small toilet in the back of my suv because yeah, yeah,
mine's not collapsible. Mine literally looks like a toilet in
my back of my suv. It's a little small one,
yeah it is. Because it is that serious. I'm like,
we got to get this good so that you feel comfortable, clean,
(04:31):
you know all that. And and there was a tip
for all our our new mommies, please go out and
get either a collapsible one or because sometimes you're out
of parks or in situations we're like, I'm not putting
my baby on that toilet at all. Let's get into
the fact that you are also creating these spaces for moms, right, Like,
(04:53):
you're creating these spaces not only for moms, but for
kids to play, to learn to be comfortable. Right, I
mean talk to us about top Box.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yeah, top Box play Cafe actually came from a dark
place for me that I had to overcome.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
So just going back to the pandemic time, I think
we all struggled during that time. My dad passed away unexpectedly,
I found out I was pregnant, and we closed on
our house in a different state the same week.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
All in one way.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Wow, So I dealt with the juxtaposition of life and death,
just going through mourning but also celebrating life at the
same time. And it was it was a struggle moving
away from my tribe, my family during that time. You
don't realize how much you need your community until you
need your community. And I was away and it was
(05:48):
a pandemic. We can't hug, we can see, we can
you know, we couldn't do anything. And that was the
time that I needed it the most. And when you're
going through it, you don't I didn't know how to verbalize.
I just felt all of the things. And so having
my baby, raising my baby in a completely different place
that isn't home, made me naturally feel solitude.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
And I'm a very you know, social person, but it
was hard. It was hard.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
How do I navigate these spaces? And I realized that
there was a need in the community that I live
in for a space like top Box play Cafe, which
is an indoor playground, coffee shop, party venue. But what
I wanted for top Box and the intention is to
really hold space for mothers, for parents who are you.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Know, because motherhood can be very lonely.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Even if you have your entire community, you can still
feel a little bit alone, and so I wanted to
make sure that I have an inclusive space where mothers
can come and feel seen, feel validated, feel celebrated, and
just cultivate that sense of community that I felt that
I needed during my time. So that's just kind of
(07:00):
what where top Box came and it's came to be.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
And now it's we're almost a year in and yeah,
it's still drama. Can we'll get into what just happened, but.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
We're thriving and and it's it's the response from the
community has been overwhelming.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
And that's got to feel good, right, because you're talking
about coming from this, this this life changing time right
where you've got loss and you've got new beginning, and
you've got you know, just isolation, right, and then you
come and you say, you know what, I'm gonna take
all that energy that I that could have pushed me
into my mommy cave into this this you know, deep
(07:46):
dark place, right and said, I'm just gonna take that
energy and put it towards not only building myself up,
but building up others too. And that's when you see
that overwhelming response that you're giddy, right, is that you're
not just doing it for yourself or from you're leading
with intention of doing something good for yourself and for others. Right,
and you've done it right, You've created this space where,
(08:08):
like you said, women can come in be moms, feel heard,
feel seen. But they can also be fun. They can
be fun moms. Sometimes we don't get to be fun
moms because we got to be this is you gotta
do this, learn this, you know, keeping them strict and
on schedule. But then you want to be fun mom
and play with your kids. And then also you haven't
talked about the fact that you get to kick your
feet up mom, like a little just a little little
(08:29):
relaxation a little second, let the kids play in a
safe environment and just take a seat for a second,
have a coffee, you know what I mean. Like that
alone sounds like a fifteen minute situation to have a
nice cup of coffee that's actually hot, right or a
couple Yeah it's actually hot, But to us it feels
like a whole event, you know what I mean, Like
(08:52):
I want my mug, I want my you know, the
steam coming off of it, you know what I'm saying.
And you have to take those moments for yourself, so
you can be there for your babies. Now, let's flash
forward to right now, because that was just under a
year ago that you opened this space. By the way,
if you haven't seen Top Box Cafe, it's in Texas.
Look them up on ig. We're gonna put all the
(09:13):
information there for you because when you see this place,
if you haven't been there in person, it's one of
those places that I looked at and I was like,
where was this when I was a kid? Right, we
ain't that a lot. But the cool thing is now
that we're moms, like we get to turn into kids
with our kids and enjoy the space and help them
learn and play. And you know, you started this just
(09:35):
under a year ago, but now here we are getting
ready for that one year anniversary and something just like
you know that emoji or your head just explodes, like
it's one of those situations that happened. Telling people what
went down?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, So last week, where do I begin?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
So?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, I'm gonna preface this by saying that there was
so much power in prayer, and I've prayed over my business,
I prayed over my community. I prayed over every single
person that walked through that door. Even before we opened
I said, Lord, just just whoever needs to be here,
let them be here and protect everybody who was going
(10:17):
to be here. We had a brand new AC system
that was installed into our to our building. Yeah, it
just went out Sunday night. Sunday, it went out during
the heat wave of Texas.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, it's so hot. And I said, man, this is
this is where we make our money. We're in it's hot.
People come inside.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
ACA School and so we had reservations boocked. We had to, unfortunately,
you know, cancel refund close our doors until our AC
was fixed. The next day. They said, you know, we
can't fix. It's going to take us a couple of days.
You got to stay closed. I said, man, and I
that have and we were in the building.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
We left.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
A couple of minutes after that, a car eighty four
year old man had a medical emergency, lost control of
his car, ran into the side of our building, right
where the playground is. It was like, you know, you
don't know why things happened. Yeah, but we're so grateful
(11:25):
to see the protection, so grateful that AC went out,
so nobody was in the building. The elderly man walked
out from the incident. Okay, he was fine. It's just
now we're picking up literally picking up the pieces to
the business and trying to get it repaired and doing
(11:45):
all that to get it back up and running.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
It was just one of those freak accidents.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Yeah, but it could have been a lot worse, and
we just thank God for that protection.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I mean, I wasn't. Yeah, I'm getting goosebumps just thinking
about it, because you said that prayer is so powerful
that in the moment, you're like, what the ac is out,
we got to shut down business. Those babies would have
been right there playing. There could have been moms right
there tending to their kids, and you have a whole
(12:15):
vehicle going through the front end of your business. Like
that's I mean, the amount of protection right for there
not to be anyone hurt. The man who was having
a medical emergency walking away from it. I've seen accidents
where they've hit less and been in the hospital in
critical conditions. So that is such protection, and it tells
(12:38):
me that there's a reason why your business needs to
get past this obstacle who and open right, and not
only reopened, but now it's like okay, now we get
to get a we might need to get a bigger
or a different type of play structure now that that
got a little bit of damage or whatever it is.
Or maybe now it's like, hey, maybe the AC system,
(13:01):
we need to kick it up a notch so that
it also can heat us up nicely in the winter time,
because folks want to come in here in the winter.
So it's just amazing how your prayers get answered, and
how when you lead with the right intentions, how the
universe gets in rhythm and things happen, how it's supposed
to in bigger ways than you even imagined, right, And
(13:23):
it's so much to be grateful for. And you know,
for moms that are listening, dads that are listening that
you know they have kids and they've had to shift
their career or shift their vision to be there for
their babies. It's it's it's one of those moments where
(13:43):
you're like, you know what, I'm going to keep working
at it slowly, but surely i might not have the
time I had before because I'm here with my children,
but I'm going to keep working at it and I'm
going to keep, you know, keep my head focused on
what that bigger goal is. And for you, you were
able to stay dedicated, stay in the moment, open this.
I mean, it takes it's so much right. You have
(14:06):
a great partner, your husband there with you. And you know,
for the moms and dads that are listening, this is
encouraging to them that you're not. I mean, of course
it's emotional. Of course you're like my other baby, my
top backs is having to be shut down. But in
reality it's actually a benefit. You're getting to renovate a space,
(14:27):
not even a year end, like how amazing is right.
But I say all that to say, you know, there
are moms and dads who are listening that are hearing
your your conviction and your you know, just wanting to
stick to your goals right and wanting to provide such
a space for your community, that are like, I want
to do that right, but I've let it get on
(14:50):
the back burner for too long, or I forgot that
I had this cool vision, or I'm too I was
too scared to pursue it. And I'm in this position
that I this role that I do not like, and
I'm you know, begrudging and angry at myself at my day.
And so I appreciate you for you know, saying you
know what. This is emotional and it took us through
(15:11):
some interesting tough situations. Right, but what are you doing
to stay you know positive and stay you know working
right because this is a project that's going to be
ongoing for a bit.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah, it is so well for parents, I would say,
if you do want to open a top box, we
will be franchising soon.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
So just well, we're working on that on the back end.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
But to answer your question about what we're doing to
keep going, it's just I think when you said, just
doing everything right and just protection and not only through
prayer but also through insurance, yes, and making sure that
your business is is aligned as well, and you do
and the research and you doing everything right.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So thankfully all we do have that protection. And he
was also in short so things are working out on
that and we're just trying to be creative.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
It's always as a small business, ownership is challenging and
you have to be every role and you have to
do so many things. But if you if you love
the work your you know your ideas are going to
come and you just have to run with it.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
You can't you can't question it. You just have to do.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Yeah, I think that's something that I've learned is not
to live in that that self doubt, that imposter syndrome.
Like I've proven to myself that I can do it
and my ideas matter, and so it's it's it's when
you you really kind of do the work within yourself
to know yourself and and just go after it.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I think the knowledge is there, yeah, everything and knowledge. Yeah,
well yeah, I think if you're in twenty twenty four
not using the internet, we got a bigger problem. But
I think you said something really important, and that is,
you know, building that confidence and knowing that your ideas matter.
Because not everyone has a village, Not everyone has a
(17:16):
supportive village, right, Like you might even have a village,
but they're telling you you got to just go get
make money and make it however you can make it.
And it's like, no, I feel like I have something
in me to give to the world. And so it
goes back to that point of you got to be
your village. Sometimes you got to be that person to
say to yourself and believe in yourself and so others
believe in you. Right, And that's one hundred percent. That's
(17:38):
a tough feat to do, right.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
That's one thing that I'm sorry to cut you off,
but one thing that I've learned through this journey is
the people that you think are going to support you,
that you know sometimes and that's okay, right, That's something
that I've learned to be okay with because there's going
to be other people out there that are going to
align themselves and that are going to support you.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So it's it's.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Being your number one and then finding you know your
people along the way.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, Yeah, it's it's it's a it's a it's a journey, right,
Like it's a it's a journey and it's not easy.
And I think that's the number one thing that we
try to convey and just put out there to our
our listeners of the podcast is it's tough. Like if
you're gonna have days where you're exhausted and if it's
(18:29):
a dream that you're trying to achieve while simultaneously holding
down your income that's currently coming in, it's a thing like,
it's a it's tough and you have to just do it.
Like you said, you just have to do it and
there's no other around. You don't go around these obstacles,
you don't go under the obstacles. You gotta you gotta
blast right through those obstacles to get to whatever goal
(18:52):
that you're determined to get to. So you know now
that you're in a place where you've you've been able
to process what just went down right, right, and so
now it's like, Okay, we're going through the motions. And
that's another key point that I think you you brought
up is if you're planning to open a business, if
you're planning to, you know, start any type of entrepreneurs
(19:12):
type situation, make sure you're about your business. Like you said,
make sure you're you're reading everything and if you can't
read everything and understand, and make sure you have someone
on your team that can help with that. And insurance
is key, like making sure that everyone is protected, not
just your clientele, but your staff. It's it's all of it.
(19:33):
When it's done right, will flourish in a way that
your mind couldn't even conceive when you had the idea.
Right And I think you know, as you're kind of
talking us through your journey to open top Box Cafe,
but you're also talking about, you know the fact that you're,
you know, you're building up a new social media you
(19:57):
know lifestyle, right, like not only for the for the cafe,
but also as yourself as a digital creator. We're in
this space right now. You know. Obviously I've been in
media going on twenty years, so this is normal for me, right,
But there are a lot of people within the last
three to five years who are like, oh my god,
I can make a living doing this. For you, how
(20:18):
how has that transition been and do you have any
kind of I guess I would say no nos for people,
because you can't just come on here, and you know,
you can just come on here and show your life
and create this digital space. But I feel like there's
still some no nos that people are not grasping.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Yeah, I think for me. For me, my background being
in media, working in TV, and I learned how to produce,
how to edit, how to write content.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
You know, for television years.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
And so I left TV news, became a public spokesperson
for the city of Pittsburgh, California shut out Pittsburgh. But
then when the pandemic hit, we moved and had my baby,
and I was a stay at home mom, and like,
we talked about all those other feelings and I lost myself.
I lost myself and like the lack of confidence. And
(21:17):
it wasn't until my husband he lifted me back up
and he realized how bad I was struggling, and it
was just kind of like we were. I was just
on survival mode and he's like, you know, you got
to get back to.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
What you want to do. And I'm like, I don't
know what I want to do. I'm a mom. This
is what I do, this is what I do. What
else am I going to do?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Right?
Speaker 3 (21:38):
And so he said, you know, just doing one thing
a day that fills my cup, that makes me feel
like myself again. And that was creating content because I
created content, you know, and packaged in news form. But
now I was like, you know, I don't have that.
I can create content for me what's happening in my life?
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Right?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
It's and then you realize everything that you do can
be content and people are going to watch it whether
or not, you know, has good engagement or not.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It's about being consistent.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
And so it was just documenting what I was doing,
creating mom hacks and tips and tricks and mom lifestyle
stuff that I was already doing at home, and that
kind of fed into wow, Okay, I gained my confidence
back my creativity. I love to create, and so I
was able to do that, built myself up, built a platform,
(22:27):
was able to now work with different brands to create
authentic content, and then that opened up the world to
build this business.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Well, I think you said it right there though, that
first off, you've painted a nice map for people who
are trying to think of ways to get to dive
into this, right, But you said something really important. It
was authenticity. And I think that's a huge no no.
Is that people have tried to jump in and maybe
(22:59):
not have had not have had the success they thought
they were gonna have, and it's because they're not being authentic. Right,
And everyone you know makes the argument of like, whoa,
it's another you know, it's another gamer putting content out,
or it's another blah blah blah putting content content out.
And in my mind, and this is something people need
(23:19):
to realize, there is no other you.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
You might be a gamer amongst a one million gamers,
but the way you talk, the way you play, the
way you do what you do is you and it's
unique and you have to embrace your uniqueness and put
it out for the world to see. If that's what
you really are gonna you know, that's what your energy towards, right,
and I think you do a great job of that.
(23:43):
I think you know some of the videos you posted
recently because I was I was all the way. I
didn't realize how excited I was about the Olympics until
I started looking up other people's content for the Olympics,
and I was like, if she don't get out here
and preach, because you had one where you did the
Mama Olympic and I'm like, oh my god, I deserve
a gold medal like you do.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Yeah, several several right.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
And the fact that you know, Team USA was toping
the list right of whimsy gold medals. I'm like, if
they put this mama category in there, it's breakdancing mommy. Yeah, oh,
they should have put us on break dancing way before that,
way before that. Australian lady. I'm gonna let her live
and not talk about her more. But man, it's it's
(24:31):
the it's a marathon right like right now we'reing back
to school and that's just something new that's going on
with me and my babies. It's like, oh my god,
Like I waited for my daughter, you know, because some
parents put them in when they're two and they're three,
daycare whatever. And I waited because I knew it was
(24:51):
gonna be tough. Number One, she's a pandemic baby. Separation
anxiety is a real thing. And then not only that,
sometimes you got it, like you said, with your daughter,
they say inappropriate things. I'm like, we need to learn
what was what we talked about at home and what
we talked about what you're at school. You know, there's
certain things that like I'm like, you know, they're at
(25:13):
that age right now. If they if their bud is
it she they're gonna it's your butt, like you know
what I mean. And these are things I need to
prepare my daughter for, like you know, or or inappropriate
touch or you know, sometimes you may feel a certain
way internally, but externally you don't show it, and so
you're putting yourself in these predicaments. I understand she's only
(25:34):
in TK, but this is where it starts, right And
so it was really key for me to wait. And
so now we're dealing with all the feelings we're dealing.
If you if you want to hear drama, I'm talking.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I want to hear how are you doing.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
You know, I'm doing better this week. We started her
last week. Last week was her fur FROs full week,
and I already knew I was going to be a
mess because she's my second. So when my son went,
I was wailing and I and here's what I did.
I had I think it was even worse that I
did this. I waited til I got to my car
to like to let it out because I didn't want
(26:06):
to scare any of the other babies. You got a
grown woman crying. So I get to the car and
I'm just wailing. And it's not even about the fact
that I'm going to miss them, of course, that's that's
that's part of it. It's a huge part of it.
But it's also like, oh my gosh, like you're stepping
into the world, like you're building core memories. I'm not
(26:27):
gonna be there to document them for you, like all the.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Things protect right protect like document also protect right.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
And protection is one of the biggest things that I
struggle with because they're so little, they don't necessarily have
the language all the time or the confidence yet to
say how they really feel. And that's what was tearing
me up, because you know, you just you want to
(26:55):
protect them, but you also want them to be able
to navigate their own place in the world. You don't
want to protect him so much that you're actually hurting them, right, right,
And so all the things right, I'm I've kind of
processed my feelings, but now I'm trying to help her
process hers, because oh, my little Minnie, one morning she
laid out, I'm talking, laid out on the front steps.
(27:18):
I'm not going I'm like, wow, like, what is it
that you don't like about school? And so then there's
a piece of me that's like, Okay, I'm torn, Like
am I not hearing her or not listening to her feelings?
And so I said, you know what, We're going to
walk through this step by step. We're not going to
force you to go. We're not gonna, you know, foster
(27:41):
any abandonment feelings. And so what I was doing is
I was just luckily have an amazing school staff, and
we literally text, you know, send messages back and forth.
And she's sending me pictures and I give her a
full report of how her mood is before she leaves
the house. And so they understand what they're dealing with,
and and and I'm like, at what point, I was like,
(28:01):
I think this little girl is tricking me because the
teacher sending me pictures of her dancing, her singing, like,
so really, what I figured out is that it's the
actual transition away. She's fearful that I'm not coming back.
She's fearful that I won't be there for her, and
so we kind of just been working through every every day,
(28:21):
like every day it's something new, right, Oh, I didn't
I didn't know that there was more than one bathroom,
so that was an issue, like she didn't know who
and I said, raise your hand, I have to go
to the bathroom. They will make sure you find a bathroom.
It's not you know, just reassuring them of little things
that we don't think about in our big age, right.
We don't think about how it is at three years
(28:41):
old to be in a big building with bigger kids
and you just have to go peep, like I you know,
that's scary, right, And so we've just been working through
it all. It's drama, I'm gonna tell you, right.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
And it's amazing that you're validating her and you're making
that space for her to come to talk to you
about you know when we think, oh, just going to
the bathroom, but it's all those little things and to
think about I don't.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I wasn't raised like that.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
So I'm so proud of you that you're you're doing
that and you're you know, in a couple of weeks,
my little one's gonna go to pre K.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
So I'm trying. I'm taking all the notes.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I'm gonna tell you right now, go ahead and get
your tissue ready, breathe right, and then also just be
in the moment, right because it's easy for us moms
to be like, oh my god, she's going to she's
going to this stage, next thing. You know, she's gonna
be in high school. Next you know, she's gonna be married.
Like we do that. Yes, we forecast too much and
(29:41):
we don't pay attention what's happening right now. And you
made the point of that's not how you were raised.
I wasn't raised this way either. I was raised with
tough love. It was nurturing, don't get me wrong, but
it was a lot of tough love.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Right.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
It was like, what, no, You're going to school, like
there's no there's no question about it, Like this is
what you do as a kid like you, that's your job, right,
And so it's a different time that we're in. A
lot of comedians joke that we're making soft kids because
we're talking about our feelings so much. But I'm toughening
(30:15):
up mine in a way that's different, right, Like I'm
still taking the gems from our elders that that you
know worked.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Which which ones are those which ones if you care.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
To share the respect, the respect for yourself and for others.
Also really putting in importance on getting to know your elders.
My grandmother is ninety four. I make sure my daughter
gets to hang out with her and they talk and
they you know, they really hear each other out, right,
because they live in completely different worlds, right, Also working
(30:55):
hard and you know, not comparing your life to the
next person's life, and just being you know, this is
this is what I the way I want my life
to be and how can I make that happen is
through hard work and you know, honesty, integrity, all the
things right and and it's a lot, right, Like it's
(31:17):
it just honesty is a big thing. I don't know
about your daughter yet, but I can already see my
four I'm like you just tontal lie, yeah, like what
are we doing? Wait a minute? So and it starts
like that, right, and the in in you know, really
just instilling this excitement of like education and learning in
(31:40):
her and my and my son also. So it's it's
a lot that we can take from the generations before us.
But the stuff that I'm leaving behind is the guilt
and the the the hard parts of tough love right
where you feel broken right after a spanking or you
feel you know what I'm saying, like those things. I mean,
(32:03):
I learned my lesson, but did I have to learn
it that way? Probably not, you know, And I don't
want to paint a picture of like, oh I was
getting whooped with racetracks and extension cords, but we all
got threatened with stuff like you know what I mean,
like don't maybe take this slipper off? Yes, And there's
sometimes where that sternness is needed, right, and it's not
(32:27):
you know, I'm a threaten your life, but you know
you have to almost take some some kids they need
to be taken to that break because they just don't
hear until you can get on the same page with
them in the level land where they understand what you're
trying to say. So it's a lot so.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
That every phase, somebody asked me, like, what, which which
phase has been your favorite or you know, or easiest,
And it's like, you know, honestly, every.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Phase is different and it comes its own beauty and
challenges and it requires us.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Level up and be to be different. Right.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
It's like we're constantly evolving, We're constantly changing, and I
think that's the beauty of growth within the motherhood, within
ourselves and not like just taking it like our parents.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
And I'm so grateful for our parents. Yeah, but it's
also like, you know, I would do things a little different,
you know.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
So it's just about having that awareness and that compassion.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
And I don't know if you've experienced this, but you know,
you're separated from your village, so you probably haven't got
it too much. But because my village is so close,
you kind of get that, Wait a minute, what do
you do? You know that they may not openly say it,
but they're questioning your parenting, and that part of it
is tough, right, because we come from such a culturally
(33:48):
strong our black and brown communities, you know, And it's like, listen,
I see what you did there when you were parenting.
I know why you had to do it that way,
but I don't have to do it that way, you know.
I you know, I have a different environment that I
live in right now, which I'm grateful for whatever that
teaching was that our parents gave us. But sometimes we
(34:10):
can remix things and take the good pieces of it
and like you said, evolve and grow. And it's funny
you brought up the point of when people ask you
what is your favorite stage, I give them a similar
answer that you gave, but I also hit them with
the I've only been in this for four or six years.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
I don't know how much.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
You know, how many other other adventures we got on
the way, Like exactly, there's so many stages, and once
you master one, you're like, wait a minute, how did
we just get to a newe?
Speaker 2 (34:39):
They switched it up. They switched it up.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Can we sit in this one for a second and
be like, Okay, this is nice right here? No? Well,
I mean, I'm excited to see the reopening of Top Box.
I'm excited to see you pick up some franchise partners,
UH to do some big things in other cities, because
it's an awesome concept and business model. And I actually
(35:05):
got this from a manager of an artist who said,
you know, it's not about the business model, it's about
the life model. And what you're doing is building a
life model, right, Like you're creating a space where you
can generate income, you can employ other people, but you're
also creating a space for moms and children to play
and interact. And then you're doing it what you're documenting
on your digital content. So I love everything we talked about.
(35:28):
It's amazing to introduce you to our this Mama Got
Drama podcast listeners. I want to have you back because
we got to talk everything digital because that's a whole
other in itself. And you know, I think the one
thing I do want to ask before letting you go
is self care, right, Like it's so important. You talked
(35:49):
about making sure to fill your cup every day and
what that that journey look for you, like as you
were slowly losing your your actual self, right, but what
are you doing now to maintain your self care?
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Oh that's a good question. You know.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
I'm carving my I got a peloton back back in
the day pandemic time, and my husband's like, why why
do you need a bike? And he's actually the one
that rides it the most now. But and that's a
good thing because it's he's that's his type of self
love too and self care. And so what I do
is I stretch. I take a five minutes stretching five
(36:25):
minutes if it's five minutes, if it's you know, get
a twenty minute class and real quick, and it just
it makes me feel better than I if I didn't.
So that's just kind of what I'm doing, making just
carving out time for myself and carving out time to create,
because I can't create if I'm not in a good health,
good mental space. So so I'm just trying just doing
(36:47):
little things, doing little things and listening to myself a
little bit more interesting, myself a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
And that's just kind of what I'm what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
I love it. I mean, I think everyone kind of
thinks that you have to dedicate now or two hours
day and sometimes.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
But don't got time for that, okay, And.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Sometimes at five minutes it's just as impactful as that
two hours or whatever. And it really boiled, it really
boils down to what it makes sense for your self
love and your self care. So I really appreciate you
mentioning that because it's the time constraint that stresses you
out more. Right, don't even think about just get it in,
Just get it in.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Get it in. And I'm also I would love to
talk to you later. We'll talk about it.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
But we're rolling out a new concept for it's it's
a little different. It's it could be for moms.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
But it's called the banda Fit and it's a it's
like Zoomba but banda music.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
And and so I'm working with awesome with choreographers, fitness trainers,
and we're developing this new concept that's gonna be short
thirty minute classes and we're letting on taking it anywhere
and everywhere. And so it's really empowering communities and celebrating
our community and also our health and wellness. So carving
(38:06):
out that time to dance, to be a community, to
celebrate our culture.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Because again I saw there was.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
Gaps in Zoomba because I was doing it too, and
there was there wasn't anything that for me being Mahicana,
I was like, this doesn't speak to me. So I
created it. So we're creating it right now. We're gonna
be you know when I have a meeting right after
this and talk a little bit more about the logistics.
So I can't wait to share that with you and
we'll get it in.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
You know. You know that emoji, it's a woman in
a red dress and ye ask me. You talking to
the to the other, the other, dancing your mama as
long as you can put in some Afro vibes into
the latina. Yeah there with you, says I Zoomba too.
And like you said, I did see the holes, so
let's fill these holes and let's get the bottom of
(38:55):
fit going. I love it.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
That's it. I'm excited to have it.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I'm excited too. So we got more to talk about,
more episodes of bringing Back for Suzanne Reino. So definitely
appreciate you coming on with us and all that you're
doing in your community to help us mamas get through
this drama.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Let's get it. Thank you so much, Ray, I appreciate it.
This Mama got Drama back for another episode. I'm always
excited when I look at my calendar and I'm like, oh,
it's a recording day. When my mama was Lady Ray
went to check in. Of course, we got an amazing
mom joining us for this episode. We got to make
some noise for Suzette Ray Knows, so.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Thank you so much. Ms Ray.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
How are you feeling today?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
You know, I am so excited, And it's so interesting
because I was checking in. I do kind of a
whole body check in right before the interview, and I
was like, man, this feels this feels different because as
a former news reporter, I was on the other end
and I'm like, why am I getting nervous? But you know,
I feel good, and I just want to thank you
for holding this space for us moms and creating this
(00:46):
space for us to just be honest and vulnerable and
keeping it real.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So thank you so much for this.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
I appreciate that because, you know, as we were coming
out of the pandemic and I was having my baby,
my second, right, it was like, oh my gosh, like
this this is the time, right because I wanted to
do it after my first, but my first was such
a traumatic pregnancy and delivery, and so when my daughter came,
it was like more trauma, more craziness in terms of
(01:13):
like the world because we were in a pandemic, were
shut down, and so I had this opportunity to create
this podcast, and I was very nervous, like you said,
I was. We're used to being in media, Like you said,
you're a news reporter, and sometimes you know, you get
into a different space in media and you're like, wait
a minute, this is like my intern days, what's going on?
So I really appreciate you saying that because it is
(01:36):
a really really important space that we need to create
for our working mothers, not only our working moms, just
our working parents. It's a whole thing, right, So let's
talk about the fact that you are a mommy, a
working mommy, an entrepreneur mommy, and uplifting mommy, all the
things right, and you're also a digital creator mommy. Where
do I go from here? You got so much going on,
(01:58):
and you do it with grace, You do ease. But
what is something new that your baby girl is doing.
We always like to talk about our babies.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
It is so funny that you asked that she is
starting to really develop her sense of humor, and she's three,
and it is like, girl, you know, it's very inappropriate.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Sometimes I love it.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Yeah, we're out and you know, she's she's talking about
you know, kids, stuff, taller stuff. You know, things are
happening like hearts, and I'm like, okay, we're at a
fancy dinner.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Let's but it's like, okay, but let's tone it down.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
But this is what she is into.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
She's really honing on her sense of her identity and
it's kind of like, Okay, how do I say, you know,
let's tone that down.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
But I still want to give her that space to
express herself. So that's what she's doing now. She's a
little comedian.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
But that's what this this mama life is about, right
And that's why we call it this Mama Got drama
because we go through so many emotions as we're raising
our babies, as we're chasing down our dreams. And I
shouldn't even see say chasing as we grab our dreams
and grab our fulfilling lives. And it's funny that you
bring up the fact that your daughter is making these
inappropriate jokes, because that's dramatic right there. Well, sometimes I
(03:10):
was suing my daughter and everything's fine, We're good. I mean,
we were in Target the other day and she yelled out,
I gotta po and I'm like, oh god, you don't
have to yell at that loud. I'm standing right next
to you, and exactly what you said. I want her
to have that space, to be able to have that
vocal empowerment. But also mom, like you need to know,
(03:31):
like you can't just I gotta pull. It's funny, don't
get me wrong, but then it's always it's also like
trying to manage your own drama because you don't want
to laugh at it because that gives it more power.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Right, exactly exactly it is. It is something new, and
thank you for letting me know. I'm not alone.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
No, you're not at all. I mean we'll be we'll
be in the bathroom too, and she's just I mean
narrating everything. That's I'm like, you know, there's other people
in here too, right, Like, we don't have to tell
every out of our business. So it's been a it's
been a fun potty training public restroom using type situation
to the point where I have a I literally have
(04:11):
a small toilet in the back of my suv because yeah, yeah,
mine's not collapsible. Mine literally looks like a toilet in
my back of my suv. It's a little small one,
yeah it is. Because it is that serious. I'm like,
we got to get this good so that you feel comfortable, clean,
(04:31):
you know all that. And and there was a tip
for all our our new mommies, please go out and
get either a collapsible one or because sometimes you're out
of parks or in situations we're like, I'm not putting
my baby on that toilet at all. Let's get into
the fact that you are also creating these spaces for moms, right, Like,
(04:53):
you're creating these spaces not only for moms, but for
kids to play, to learn to be comfortable. Right, I
mean talk to us about top Box.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Yeah, top Box play Cafe actually came from a dark
place for me that I had to overcome.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
So just going back to the pandemic time, I think
we all struggled during that time. My dad passed away unexpectedly,
I found out I was pregnant, and we closed on
our house in a different state the same week.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
All in one way.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Wow, So I dealt with the juxtaposition of life and death,
just going through mourning but also celebrating life at the
same time. And it was it was a struggle moving
away from my tribe, my family during that time. You
don't realize how much you need your community until you
need your community. And I was away and it was
(05:48):
a pandemic. We can't hug, we can see, we can
you know, we couldn't do anything. And that was the
time that I needed it the most. And when you're
going through it, you don't I didn't know how to verbalize.
I just felt all of the things. And so having
my baby, raising my baby in a completely different place
that isn't home, made me naturally feel solitude.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
And I'm a very you know, social person, but it
was hard. It was hard.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
How do I navigate these spaces? And I realized that
there was a need in the community that I live
in for a space like top Box play Cafe, which
is an indoor playground, coffee shop, party venue. But what
I wanted for top Box and the intention is to
really hold space for mothers, for parents who are you.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Know, because motherhood can be very lonely.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Even if you have your entire community, you can still
feel a little bit alone, and so I wanted to
make sure that I have an inclusive space where mothers
can come and feel seen, feel validated, feel celebrated, and
just cultivate that sense of community that I felt that
I needed during my time. So that's just kind of
(07:00):
what where top Box came and it's came to be.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
And now it's we're almost a year in and yeah,
it's still drama. Can we'll get into what just happened, but.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
We're thriving and and it's it's the response from the
community has been overwhelming.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
And that's got to feel good, right, because you're talking
about coming from this, this this life changing time right
where you've got loss and you've got new beginning, and
you've got you know, just isolation, right, and then you
come and you say, you know what, I'm gonna take
all that energy that I that could have pushed me
into my mommy cave into this this you know, deep
(07:46):
dark place, right and said, I'm just gonna take that
energy and put it towards not only building myself up,
but building up others too. And that's when you see
that overwhelming response that you're giddy, right, is that you're
not just doing it for yourself or from you're leading
with intention of doing something good for yourself and for others. Right,
and you've done it right, You've created this space where,
(08:08):
like you said, women can come in be moms, feel heard,
feel seen. But they can also be fun. They can
be fun moms. Sometimes we don't get to be fun
moms because we got to be this is you gotta
do this, learn this, you know, keeping them strict and
on schedule. But then you want to be fun mom
and play with your kids. And then also you haven't
talked about the fact that you get to kick your
feet up mom, like a little just a little little
(08:29):
relaxation a little second, let the kids play in a
safe environment and just take a seat for a second,
have a coffee, you know what I mean. Like that
alone sounds like a fifteen minute situation to have a
nice cup of coffee that's actually hot, right or a
couple Yeah it's actually hot, But to us it feels
like a whole event, you know what I mean, Like
(08:52):
I want my mug, I want my you know, the
steam coming off of it, you know what I'm saying.
And you have to take those moments for yourself, so
you can be there for your babies. Now, let's flash
forward to right now, because that was just under a
year ago that you opened this space. By the way,
if you haven't seen Top Box Cafe, it's in Texas.
Look them up on ig. We're gonna put all the
(09:13):
information there for you because when you see this place,
if you haven't been there in person, it's one of
those places that I looked at and I was like,
where was this when I was a kid? Right, we
ain't that a lot. But the cool thing is now
that we're moms, like we get to turn into kids
with our kids and enjoy the space and help them
learn and play. And you know, you started this just
(09:35):
under a year ago, but now here we are getting
ready for that one year anniversary and something just like
you know that emoji or your head just explodes, like
it's one of those situations that happened. Telling people what
went down?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, So last week, where do I begin?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
So?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, I'm gonna preface this by saying that there was
so much power in prayer, and I've prayed over my business,
I prayed over my community. I prayed over every single
person that walked through that door. Even before we opened
I said, Lord, just just whoever needs to be here,
let them be here and protect everybody who was going
(10:17):
to be here. We had a brand new AC system
that was installed into our to our building. Yeah, it
just went out Sunday night. Sunday, it went out during
the heat wave of Texas.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, it's so hot. And I said, man, this is
this is where we make our money. We're in it's hot.
People come inside.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
ACA School and so we had reservations boocked. We had to, unfortunately,
you know, cancel refund close our doors until our AC
was fixed. The next day. They said, you know, we
can't fix. It's going to take us a couple of days.
You got to stay closed. I said, man, and I
that have and we were in the building.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
We left.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
A couple of minutes after that, a car eighty four
year old man had a medical emergency, lost control of
his car, ran into the side of our building, right
where the playground is. It was like, you know, you
don't know why things happened. Yeah, but we're so grateful
(11:25):
to see the protection, so grateful that AC went out,
so nobody was in the building. The elderly man walked
out from the incident. Okay, he was fine. It's just
now we're picking up literally picking up the pieces to
the business and trying to get it repaired and doing
(11:45):
all that to get it back up and running.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
It was just one of those freak accidents.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Yeah, but it could have been a lot worse, and
we just thank God for that protection.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I mean, I wasn't. Yeah, I'm getting goosebumps just thinking
about it, because you said that prayer is so powerful
that in the moment, you're like, what the ac is out,
we got to shut down business. Those babies would have
been right there playing. There could have been moms right
there tending to their kids, and you have a whole
(12:15):
vehicle going through the front end of your business. Like
that's I mean, the amount of protection right for there
not to be anyone hurt. The man who was having
a medical emergency walking away from it. I've seen accidents
where they've hit less and been in the hospital in
critical conditions. So that is such protection, and it tells
(12:38):
me that there's a reason why your business needs to
get past this obstacle who and open right, and not
only reopened, but now it's like okay, now we get
to get a we might need to get a bigger
or a different type of play structure now that that
got a little bit of damage or whatever it is.
Or maybe now it's like, hey, maybe the AC system,
(13:01):
we need to kick it up a notch so that
it also can heat us up nicely in the winter time,
because folks want to come in here in the winter.
So it's just amazing how your prayers get answered, and
how when you lead with the right intentions, how the
universe gets in rhythm and things happen, how it's supposed
to in bigger ways than you even imagined, right, And
(13:23):
it's so much to be grateful for. And you know,
for moms that are listening, dads that are listening that
you know they have kids and they've had to shift
their career or shift their vision to be there for
their babies. It's it's it's one of those moments where
(13:43):
you're like, you know what, I'm going to keep working
at it slowly, but surely i might not have the
time I had before because I'm here with my children,
but I'm going to keep working at it and I'm
going to keep, you know, keep my head focused on
what that bigger goal is. And for you, you were
able to stay dedicated, stay in the moment, open this.
I mean, it takes it's so much right. You have
(14:06):
a great partner, your husband there with you. And you know,
for the moms and dads that are listening, this is
encouraging to them that you're not. I mean, of course
it's emotional. Of course you're like my other baby, my
top backs is having to be shut down. But in
reality it's actually a benefit. You're getting to renovate a space,
(14:27):
not even a year end, like how amazing is right.
But I say all that to say, you know, there
are moms and dads who are listening that are hearing
your your conviction and your you know, just wanting to
stick to your goals right and wanting to provide such
a space for your community, that are like, I want
to do that right, but I've let it get on
(14:50):
the back burner for too long, or I forgot that
I had this cool vision, or I'm too I was
too scared to pursue it. And I'm in this position
that I this role that I do not like, and
I'm you know, begrudging and angry at myself at my day.
And so I appreciate you for you know, saying you
know what. This is emotional and it took us through
(15:11):
some interesting tough situations. Right, but what are you doing
to stay you know positive and stay you know working
right because this is a project that's going to be
ongoing for a bit.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah, it is so well for parents, I would say,
if you do want to open a top box, we
will be franchising soon.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
So just well, we're working on that on the back end.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
But to answer your question about what we're doing to
keep going, it's just I think when you said, just
doing everything right and just protection and not only through
prayer but also through insurance, yes, and making sure that
your business is is aligned as well, and you do
and the research and you doing everything right.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So thankfully all we do have that protection. And he
was also in short so things are working out on
that and we're just trying to be creative.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
It's always as a small business, ownership is challenging and
you have to be every role and you have to
do so many things. But if you if you love
the work your you know your ideas are going to
come and you just have to run with it.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
You can't you can't question it. You just have to do.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
Yeah, I think that's something that I've learned is not
to live in that that self doubt, that imposter syndrome.
Like I've proven to myself that I can do it
and my ideas matter, and so it's it's it's when
you you really kind of do the work within yourself
to know yourself and and just go after it.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
I think the knowledge is there, yeah, everything and knowledge. Yeah,
well yeah, I think if you're in twenty twenty four
not using the internet, we got a bigger problem. But
I think you said something really important, and that is,
you know, building that confidence and knowing that your ideas matter.
Because not everyone has a village, Not everyone has a
(17:16):
supportive village, right, Like you might even have a village,
but they're telling you you got to just go get
make money and make it however you can make it.
And it's like, no, I feel like I have something
in me to give to the world. And so it
goes back to that point of you got to be
your village. Sometimes you got to be that person to
say to yourself and believe in yourself and so others
believe in you. Right, And that's one hundred percent. That's
(17:38):
a tough feat to do, right.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
That's one thing that I'm sorry to cut you off,
but one thing that I've learned through this journey is
the people that you think are going to support you,
that you know sometimes and that's okay, right, That's something
that I've learned to be okay with because there's going
to be other people out there that are going to
align themselves and that are going to support you.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So it's it's.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Being your number one and then finding you know your
people along the way.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, Yeah, it's it's it's a it's a it's a journey, right,
Like it's a it's a journey and it's not easy.
And I think that's the number one thing that we
try to convey and just put out there to our
our listeners of the podcast is it's tough. Like if
you're gonna have days where you're exhausted and if it's
(18:29):
a dream that you're trying to achieve while simultaneously holding
down your income that's currently coming in, it's a thing like,
it's a it's tough and you have to just do it.
Like you said, you just have to do it and
there's no other around. You don't go around these obstacles,
you don't go under the obstacles. You gotta you gotta
blast right through those obstacles to get to whatever goal
(18:52):
that you're determined to get to. So you know now
that you're in a place where you've you've been able
to process what just went down right, right, and so
now it's like, Okay, we're going through the motions. And
that's another key point that I think you you brought
up is if you're planning to open a business, if
you're planning to, you know, start any type of entrepreneurs
(19:12):
type situation, make sure you're about your business. Like you said,
make sure you're you're reading everything and if you can't
read everything and understand, and make sure you have someone
on your team that can help with that. And insurance
is key, like making sure that everyone is protected, not
just your clientele, but your staff. It's it's all of it.
(19:33):
When it's done right, will flourish in a way that
your mind couldn't even conceive when you had the idea.
Right And I think you know, as you're kind of
talking us through your journey to open top Box Cafe,
but you're also talking about, you know the fact that you're,
you know, you're building up a new social media you
(19:57):
know lifestyle, right, like not only for the for the cafe,
but also as yourself as a digital creator. We're in
this space right now. You know. Obviously I've been in
media going on twenty years, so this is normal for me, right,
But there are a lot of people within the last
three to five years who are like, oh my god,
I can make a living doing this. For you, how
(20:18):
how has that transition been and do you have any
kind of I guess I would say no nos for people,
because you can't just come on here, and you know,
you can just come on here and show your life
and create this digital space. But I feel like there's
still some no nos that people are not grasping.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Yeah, I think for me. For me, my background being
in media, working in TV, and I learned how to produce,
how to edit, how to write content.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
You know, for television years.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
And so I left TV news, became a public spokesperson
for the city of Pittsburgh, California shut out Pittsburgh. But
then when the pandemic hit, we moved and had my baby,
and I was a stay at home mom, and like,
we talked about all those other feelings and I lost myself.
I lost myself and like the lack of confidence. And
(21:17):
it wasn't until my husband he lifted me back up
and he realized how bad I was struggling, and it
was just kind of like we were. I was just
on survival mode and he's like, you know, you got
to get back to.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
What you want to do. And I'm like, I don't
know what I want to do. I'm a mom. This
is what I do, this is what I do. What
else am I going to do?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Right?
Speaker 3 (21:38):
And so he said, you know, just doing one thing
a day that fills my cup, that makes me feel
like myself again. And that was creating content because I
created content, you know, and packaged in news form. But
now I was like, you know, I don't have that.
I can create content for me what's happening in my life?
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Right?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
It's and then you realize everything that you do can
be content and people are going to watch it whether
or not, you know, has good engagement or not.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
It's about being consistent.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
And so it was just documenting what I was doing,
creating mom hacks and tips and tricks and mom lifestyle
stuff that I was already doing at home, and that
kind of fed into wow, Okay, I gained my confidence
back my creativity. I love to create, and so I
was able to do that, built myself up, built a platform,
(22:27):
was able to now work with different brands to create
authentic content, and then that opened up the world to
build this business.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Well, I think you said it right there though, that
first off, you've painted a nice map for people who
are trying to think of ways to get to dive
into this, right, But you said something really important. It
was authenticity. And I think that's a huge no no.
Is that people have tried to jump in and maybe
(22:59):
not have had not have had the success they thought
they were gonna have, and it's because they're not being authentic. Right,
And everyone you know makes the argument of like, whoa,
it's another you know, it's another gamer putting content out,
or it's another blah blah blah putting content content out.
And in my mind, and this is something people need
(23:19):
to realize, there is no other you.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Right.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
You might be a gamer amongst a one million gamers,
but the way you talk, the way you play, the
way you do what you do is you and it's
unique and you have to embrace your uniqueness and put
it out for the world to see. If that's what
you really are gonna you know, that's what your energy towards, right,
and I think you do a great job of that.
(23:43):
I think you know some of the videos you posted
recently because I was I was all the way. I
didn't realize how excited I was about the Olympics until
I started looking up other people's content for the Olympics,
and I was like, if she don't get out here
and preach, because you had one where you did the
Mama Olympic and I'm like, oh my god, I deserve
a gold medal like you do.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Yeah, several several right.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
And the fact that you know, Team USA was toping
the list right of whimsy gold medals. I'm like, if
they put this mama category in there, it's breakdancing mommy. Yeah, oh,
they should have put us on break dancing way before that,
way before that. Australian lady. I'm gonna let her live
and not talk about her more. But man, it's it's
(24:31):
the it's a marathon right like right now we'reing back
to school and that's just something new that's going on
with me and my babies. It's like, oh my god,
Like I waited for my daughter, you know, because some
parents put them in when they're two and they're three,
daycare whatever. And I waited because I knew it was
(24:51):
gonna be tough. Number One, she's a pandemic baby. Separation
anxiety is a real thing. And then not only that,
sometimes you got it, like you said, with your daughter,
they say inappropriate things. I'm like, we need to learn
what was what we talked about at home and what
we talked about what you're at school. You know, there's
certain things that like I'm like, you know, they're at
(25:13):
that age right now. If they if their bud is
it she they're gonna it's your butt, like you know
what I mean. And these are things I need to
prepare my daughter for, like you know, or or inappropriate
touch or you know, sometimes you may feel a certain
way internally, but externally you don't show it, and so
you're putting yourself in these predicaments. I understand she's only
(25:34):
in TK, but this is where it starts, right And
so it was really key for me to wait. And
so now we're dealing with all the feelings we're dealing.
If you if you want to hear drama, I'm talking.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I want to hear how are you doing.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
You know, I'm doing better this week. We started her
last week. Last week was her fur FROs full week,
and I already knew I was going to be a
mess because she's my second. So when my son went,
I was wailing and I and here's what I did.
I had I think it was even worse that I
did this. I waited til I got to my car
to like to let it out because I didn't want
(26:06):
to scare any of the other babies. You got a
grown woman crying. So I get to the car and
I'm just wailing. And it's not even about the fact
that I'm going to miss them, of course, that's that's
that's part of it. It's a huge part of it.
But it's also like, oh my gosh, like you're stepping
into the world, like you're building core memories. I'm not
(26:27):
gonna be there to document them for you, like all the.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Things protect right protect like document also protect right.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
And protection is one of the biggest things that I
struggle with because they're so little, they don't necessarily have
the language all the time or the confidence yet to
say how they really feel. And that's what was tearing
me up, because you know, you just you want to
(26:55):
protect them, but you also want them to be able
to navigate their own place in the world. You don't
want to protect him so much that you're actually hurting them, right, right,
And so all the things right, I'm I've kind of
processed my feelings, but now I'm trying to help her
process hers, because oh, my little Minnie, one morning she
laid out, I'm talking, laid out on the front steps.
(27:18):
I'm not going I'm like, wow, like, what is it
that you don't like about school? And so then there's
a piece of me that's like, Okay, I'm torn, Like
am I not hearing her or not listening to her feelings?
And so I said, you know what, We're going to
walk through this step by step. We're not going to
force you to go. We're not gonna, you know, foster
(27:41):
any abandonment feelings. And so what I was doing is
I was just luckily have an amazing school staff, and
we literally text, you know, send messages back and forth.
And she's sending me pictures and I give her a
full report of how her mood is before she leaves
the house. And so they understand what they're dealing with,
and and and I'm like, at what point, I was like,
(28:01):
I think this little girl is tricking me because the
teacher sending me pictures of her dancing, her singing, like,
so really, what I figured out is that it's the
actual transition away. She's fearful that I'm not coming back.
She's fearful that I won't be there for her, and
so we kind of just been working through every every day,
(28:21):
like every day it's something new, right, Oh, I didn't
I didn't know that there was more than one bathroom,
so that was an issue, like she didn't know who
and I said, raise your hand, I have to go
to the bathroom. They will make sure you find a bathroom.
It's not you know, just reassuring them of little things
that we don't think about in our big age, right.
We don't think about how it is at three years
(28:41):
old to be in a big building with bigger kids
and you just have to go peep, like I you know,
that's scary, right, And so we've just been working through
it all. It's drama, I'm gonna tell you, right.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
And it's amazing that you're validating her and you're making
that space for her to come to talk to you
about you know when we think, oh, just going to
the bathroom, but it's all those little things and to
think about I don't.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I wasn't raised like that.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
So I'm so proud of you that you're you're doing
that and you're you know, in a couple of weeks,
my little one's gonna go to pre K.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
So I'm trying. I'm taking all the notes.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I'm gonna tell you right now, go ahead and get
your tissue ready, breathe right, and then also just be
in the moment, right because it's easy for us moms
to be like, oh my god, she's going to she's
going to this stage, next thing. You know, she's gonna
be in high school. Next you know, she's gonna be married.
Like we do that. Yes, we forecast too much and
(29:41):
we don't pay attention what's happening right now. And you
made the point of that's not how you were raised.
I wasn't raised this way either. I was raised with
tough love. It was nurturing, don't get me wrong, but
it was a lot of tough love.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Right.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
It was like, what, no, You're going to school, like
there's no there's no question about it, Like this is
what you do as a kid like you, that's your job, right,
And so it's a different time that we're in. A
lot of comedians joke that we're making soft kids because
we're talking about our feelings so much. But I'm toughening
(30:15):
up mine in a way that's different, right, Like I'm
still taking the gems from our elders that that you
know worked.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Which which ones are those which ones if you care.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
To share the respect, the respect for yourself and for others.
Also really putting in importance on getting to know your elders.
My grandmother is ninety four. I make sure my daughter
gets to hang out with her and they talk and
they you know, they really hear each other out, right,
because they live in completely different worlds, right, Also working
(30:55):
hard and you know, not comparing your life to the
next person's life, and just being you know, this is
this is what I the way I want my life
to be and how can I make that happen is
through hard work and you know, honesty, integrity, all the
things right and and it's a lot, right, Like it's
(31:17):
it just honesty is a big thing. I don't know
about your daughter yet, but I can already see my
four I'm like you just tontal lie, yeah, like what
are we doing? Wait a minute? So and it starts
like that, right, and the in in you know, really
just instilling this excitement of like education and learning in
(31:40):
her and my and my son also. So it's it's
a lot that we can take from the generations before us.
But the stuff that I'm leaving behind is the guilt
and the the the hard parts of tough love right
where you feel broken right after a spanking or you
feel you know what I'm saying, like those things. I mean,
(32:03):
I learned my lesson, but did I have to learn
it that way? Probably not, you know, And I don't
want to paint a picture of like, oh I was
getting whooped with racetracks and extension cords, but we all
got threatened with stuff like you know what I mean,
like don't maybe take this slipper off? Yes, And there's
sometimes where that sternness is needed, right, and it's not
(32:27):
you know, I'm a threaten your life, but you know
you have to almost take some some kids they need
to be taken to that break because they just don't
hear until you can get on the same page with
them in the level land where they understand what you're
trying to say. So it's a lot so.
Speaker 4 (32:43):
That every phase, somebody asked me, like, what, which which
phase has been your favorite or you know, or easiest,
And it's like, you know, honestly, every.
Speaker 3 (32:54):
Phase is different and it comes its own beauty and
challenges and it requires us.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Level up and be to be different. Right.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
It's like we're constantly evolving, We're constantly changing, and I
think that's the beauty of growth within the motherhood, within
ourselves and not like just taking it like our parents.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
And I'm so grateful for our parents. Yeah, but it's
also like, you know, I would do things a little different,
you know.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
So it's just about having that awareness and that compassion.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
And I don't know if you've experienced this, but you know,
you're separated from your village, so you probably haven't got
it too much. But because my village is so close,
you kind of get that, Wait a minute, what do
you do? You know that they may not openly say it,
but they're questioning your parenting, and that part of it
is tough, right, because we come from such a culturally
(33:48):
strong our black and brown communities, you know, And it's like, listen,
I see what you did there when you were parenting.
I know why you had to do it that way,
but I don't have to do it that way, you know.
I you know, I have a different environment that I
live in right now, which I'm grateful for whatever that
teaching was that our parents gave us. But sometimes we
(34:10):
can remix things and take the good pieces of it
and like you said, evolve and grow. And it's funny
you brought up the point of when people ask you
what is your favorite stage, I give them a similar
answer that you gave, but I also hit them with
the I've only been in this for four or six years.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
I don't know how much.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
You know, how many other other adventures we got on
the way, Like exactly, there's so many stages, and once
you master one, you're like, wait a minute, how did
we just get to a newe?
Speaker 2 (34:39):
They switched it up. They switched it up.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Can we sit in this one for a second and
be like, Okay, this is nice right here? No? Well,
I mean, I'm excited to see the reopening of Top Box.
I'm excited to see you pick up some franchise partners,
UH to do some big things in other cities, because
it's an awesome concept and business model. And I actually
(35:05):
got this from a manager of an artist who said,
you know, it's not about the business model, it's about
the life model. And what you're doing is building a
life model, right, Like you're creating a space where you
can generate income, you can employ other people, but you're
also creating a space for moms and children to play
and interact. And then you're doing it what you're documenting
on your digital content. So I love everything we talked about.
(35:28):
It's amazing to introduce you to our this Mama Got
Drama podcast listeners. I want to have you back because
we got to talk everything digital because that's a whole
other in itself. And you know, I think the one
thing I do want to ask before letting you go
is self care, right, Like it's so important. You talked
(35:49):
about making sure to fill your cup every day and
what that that journey look for you, like as you
were slowly losing your your actual self, right, but what
are you doing now to maintain your self care?
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Oh that's a good question. You know.
Speaker 3 (36:04):
I'm carving my I got a peloton back back in
the day pandemic time, and my husband's like, why why
do you need a bike? And he's actually the one
that rides it the most now. But and that's a
good thing because it's he's that's his type of self
love too and self care. And so what I do
is I stretch. I take a five minutes stretching five
(36:25):
minutes if it's five minutes, if it's you know, get
a twenty minute class and real quick, and it just
it makes me feel better than I if I didn't.
So that's just kind of what I'm doing, making just
carving out time for myself and carving out time to create,
because I can't create if I'm not in a good health,
good mental space. So so I'm just trying just doing
(36:47):
little things, doing little things and listening to myself a
little bit more interesting, myself a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
And that's just kind of what I'm what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
I love it. I mean, I think everyone kind of
thinks that you have to dedicate now or two hours
day and sometimes.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
But don't got time for that, okay, And.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Sometimes at five minutes it's just as impactful as that
two hours or whatever. And it really boiled, it really
boils down to what it makes sense for your self
love and your self care. So I really appreciate you
mentioning that because it's the time constraint that stresses you
out more. Right, don't even think about just get it in,
Just get it in.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Get it in. And I'm also I would love to
talk to you later. We'll talk about it.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
But we're rolling out a new concept for it's it's
a little different. It's it could be for moms.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
But it's called the banda Fit and it's a it's
like Zoomba but banda music.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
And and so I'm working with awesome with choreographers, fitness trainers,
and we're developing this new concept that's gonna be short
thirty minute classes and we're letting on taking it anywhere
and everywhere. And so it's really empowering communities and celebrating
our community and also our health and wellness. So carving
(38:06):
out that time to dance, to be a community, to
celebrate our culture.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Because again I saw there was.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
Gaps in Zoomba because I was doing it too, and
there was there wasn't anything that for me being Mahicana,
I was like, this doesn't speak to me. So I
created it. So we're creating it right now. We're gonna
be you know when I have a meeting right after
this and talk a little bit more about the logistics.
So I can't wait to share that with you and
we'll get it in.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
You know. You know that emoji, it's a woman in
a red dress and ye ask me. You talking to
the to the other, the other, dancing your mama as
long as you can put in some Afro vibes into
the latina. Yeah there with you, says I Zoomba too.
And like you said, I did see the holes, so
let's fill these holes and let's get the bottom of
(38:55):
fit going. I love it.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
That's it. I'm excited to have it.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I'm excited too. So we got more to talk about,
more episodes of bringing Back for Suzanne Reino. So definitely
appreciate you coming on with us and all that you're
doing in your community to help us mamas get through
this drama.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
Let's get it. Thank you so much, Ray, I appreciate it.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!