October 13, 2023 • 29 mins
Let’s talk storytelling and being the writer of your own story! Meet May Yam a dedicated mom, an International award-winning filmmaker, Primetime Emmy®-nominated, whose last documentary premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival and was nominated for Best Short Documentary. Her latest feature length documentary, "Egg Whispers," explores family planning and fertility. She also serves as the Virtual Reality & Film Department Manager at the Cinequest Film and Creativity Festival. She shares a snapshot into her world as creator and even gives some encouragement to moms thinking about diving into their creative side and embarking on their goals in the film industry. Join us for this episode and learn more about her upcoming film at (https://www.eggwhispersfilm.com/ and if you want more films check out Cinequest and their Film Festival at https://www.cinequest.org/
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
This Mama Got Drama back for anotherepisode. I am so excited to anytime
we get to just come on andtalk about mamahood, the adventures of being
a parent, the adventures of jugglingyour career, trying to find time for
self care. There's so much onthe daily that goes into these adventures.
And when we say this Mama GotDrama, the drama is all the emotions
(00:21):
that we go through on the dailyas we're going through this journey. And
it can go zero two hundreds sofast. I'm your host, Lady Ray.
My co host Drina will be backwith us on the next episode.
But we have an amazing guest withus today. I will let her tell
you more about her role and whatshe does for a living. But we
have may Yam on with us,who is an amazing dedicated mom. She
(00:42):
works with Sinnequest right here in theBay Area. She's a film creator.
A I mean, this list iskind of crazy, Mane. I'm so
honored to be here. Thank youso much. We're so happy to have
you because you're just coming back fromif I'm not mistake in filming overseas right,
Yeah, you know, I justhad this crazy opportunity. The last
(01:04):
month I spent in Africa, Itraveled to Angola and I got to film
for the first Lady of Angola.Wow. And then I went over to
Namibia and I filmed a female presidentialcandidate of Namibia. Her name is doctor
Martin and Jebel Tollahuano. And nowI'm back in America and I'm also representing
(01:30):
a USA presidential election candidate. Hisname is Philip Drake. And just just
having an amazing time, an amazingtime traveling the world, getting to do
what you love, which is youknow, being a film creat creator,
being you know, around the arts, being around these narratives and telling stories,
(01:52):
right, and you're actually the rolethat you currently hold. Can you
tell the people a little bit aboutwhat you do with cineques and what their
role looks like. Yeah? Yeah, so really excited about Cinequz. It's
been around for over thirty years andright here in San Jose and I basically
won the filming department of the festivaland I also create the marketing material.
(02:17):
We also do the actors' tribute videosfor the movie stars that have been at
Cinequest. I've been at Sonaquest overseven years now, and so I've got
to work with some amazing stars likeNicholas Cage, Emilio Estevez, William Macy,
(02:38):
Andy mcdowald, and last year JimGaffigan we got to premiere his feature
film. And then also on thenon filming side, I also run the
virtual reality and film department for CINEQUZand I've been running there for about six
years now and was well the lasttime we had a in person event,
(03:06):
we actually got to do augmented realityand room scale experiences, which was just
amazing and we we're really excited.Unfortunately this year we're not going to be
able to do it in person,but we hope that we will be able
to resume that Nick share nice andyou know the people that are listening that,
(03:30):
you know, they've got these creativeminds that want to be around film,
want to be around art. Theirminds are just you know, exploding,
right because there's so many exciting projectsthat you're working on and things that
you're bringing to the you know,artistic the film community. I mean,
and you're doing this all you know, as a mom, right, And
(03:52):
you talked about being with cinequest forthe last seven years and I'm assuming before
that had some other roles that werein the same field, right, you
know, you're one of the waysthat we actually kick off our episode is
to talk about our kids, right, because we're out here, you know,
chasing our career goals. We've gotall of these, you know,
achievements that we want to get to, and we're still you know that number
(04:14):
one achievement, which is raising theselittle people into capable people. Right,
And so you know, just kindof talking about our kids. What is
something new or exciting that your childis doing. So actually, I'm really
excited to tell you that. Well, first of all, we have one
daughter. Her name is Leana,and she's now twenty two, and she
just moved to Boston while study herPhD at Northeastern University. Very cool,
(04:42):
very cool. I mean, you'retalking about your PhD bound student and I'm
over here trying to manage my evotionsbecause my five year old is getting ready
to go off to kindergarten, which, by the way, is not that
big of a move from the BayArea to Boston, but it feels that
way, right, Like, youknow, if you can think back to
when you you sent her off tokindergarten. So now to where you're sitting
(05:02):
her out to you know, anotherstate, another you know, huge journey
that she's about to take. Likeit's emotional, right, Like you're exciting
for them. They're getting ready totake off and you know, push the
extremes on their limitless potential. Right, They're gonna have these new experiences and
we're there, but we're not there, right, So yeah, yeah,
(05:23):
it's an amazing journey. Yeah.Are you one of those moms that's like
I need you to check in likeevery day or every other day at least.
Yeah, you know, just theidea of being an empty Nesta in
itself was just so petrifying. Youknow, I'm not good with goodbyes.
So luckily I actually got to leavebefore she did. I actually left for
(05:49):
Africa two days before her, right, so I didn't have to say my
goodbyes to her. There you go, there you go. You're like,
I'm gonna take this quick job overhere, real quick, and yeah,
that's I mean, but that's it'sit's such a it's such a bittersweet thing,
right, Like you feel so excited, like I said, for them,
(06:10):
but you're also like, oh mygod, where's my baby going?
So, you know, thankfully wehave the amazing technology that we do these
days, and we can you know, video chat with them, we can
stay connected with them in a coupleof different ways. So you have a
lot on your plate, though,and I'm sure you're gonna be staying busy
to to kind of have that emptynest, you know, kind of feeling
(06:32):
just me in the background. It'llit'll get better with time, right,
But you've got so much on yourplate to keep you busy. I mean,
what are some of the current projects. Of course we talked about Sinequez.
What is what is going in likethe day to day kind of preparations
for you? Wow? Yeah,So I guess I'll say My latest baby
(06:53):
is is a documentary that I've beenworking on for three years. We call
all of our movies babies because ittakes that much. Is actually called egg
Whispers, and I've been working onit for about three years and it's about
infertility. Wow. And its starsstars some ladies from the prime time hit
(07:17):
TV show The Bachelor, The Bachelorette. We have Bobby Blank from the WWE
fame and then also a former MissTeen USA winner, Caroline Lunney And so
for the last three years I basicallyfollowed the fertility journey with the fertility specialist
(07:39):
doctor Amy Ivaside, who are practicesright here in the Bay Area, and
we just came across some amazing stories. And I just want to get this
story out because fertility or infertility issuch a taboo subject and it's something that
just really needs to be talked about. And so I kind of had some
(08:03):
struggles when when after we had ourfirst daughter, when I was ready to
have a second, I was inmy early thirties and I found out I
had early onset metoporns. Wow.Wow, it was a huge shock,
you know, and as much aswe love our daughter, you know,
(08:26):
we would have liked to have hadoptions. Right. So I want to
bring this film out and educate peopleand make it start conversations. And I
think you're you're writing saying that thatit is still a taboo topic in that
people don't necessarily know how to talkabout it, right because it unless you
(08:50):
know someone or are someone going throughit, you don't realize how painstaking it
is, like how much time ittakes and money it takes, and and
that's just talking about like the theyou know, quote unquote tangible part of
it, right, but there's theemotional part of it that is so taxing,
(09:11):
especially you know for the woman whohas to endure all of this like
hormonal change. It's it's a lot, right, and I think that you
you, you deserve all the flowersfor bringing this conversation to the forefront because
the more you talk about it,the easier it becomes right and and the
easier it is for people to actuallybe there for their friends and whoever it
(09:35):
is that is is going through thatprocess. You know that this is a
three You talked about it being yourbaby, right like you're it's it is
right, Like you're you're nursing italong, You're creating this this project,
you're building it up, and youknow you're doing this while being a full
time mom too, right, Like, how did you how were you able
(09:56):
to juggle? You know, thisis you talking about this particular document.
You had one before that, You'vehad other roles before that as your daughter
was kind of growing up. Howdo you juggle this type of career because
it's not like your atypical like nineto five, Like there's got to be
days where you're filming for more hoursthan regular time, you know what I'm
(10:18):
saying. So how are you ableto juggle mamahood and you know, striving
for your career goals? Yeah,now that's a good question for me.
Luckily, the world that I'm in, in terms of filmmaking, you're actually
not on set in production for thatlong of appearing. That's probably only about
(10:39):
ten percent of your work. Mostof the work is pre production and post
production, which can be done athome or your home office. And so
I was just really fortunate to beable to have a flexible schedule where I
can work around her sleeping and herfeeing schedule. I mean, I can't
(11:03):
I can't stress enough how important itis to just have a wonderful support group.
You know, my my mom cameout from Hong Kong and looked after
Leanna for over a year. Andthe funny thing is we actually became really
good friends with Leanna's friends' parents,so we like got a whole new group
(11:28):
of friends because of her. Otherthings I did was to try to stay
engaged and try to hang out withher, So I actually became a part
time after school science teacher. Wow. And uh, and obviously Leanna was
in the class, and so Ifelt like I was teaching her STEM and
(11:50):
so we would just have a blastdoing that. So you know, I
I made it work. I madeI made it work out, you know,
just who's scheduling and studying values andjust trying to have quantity time with
her. Right. It's funny becausemy husband Greg, he jokes that our
(12:13):
daughter actually had more life experiences beforeage of twenty than he did in his
first fifty years. But that's whatwe strive for, right. We strive
for our kids in that next generationto do more than us and to be
better than us and be bigger thanus. And so that part of it
is like, okay, you guys, actually you can check that off the
(12:37):
list. Right, Like, lookingback, you're like, man, wait
a minute, how come I didn'tget these experiences? But when you actually
take a step back and you lookat it, you're like, I'm actually
living what I wanted to do,right, Like I wanted to give this
to my child. So that's amazing. I mean, you make it seem
so effortless. And yes, youknow, there's a part of it that
we're so fortunate to have these careersin media that are a little more flexible
(13:01):
and we can kind of work aroundour kids. But were there times where
there were struggles and how were youable to break through those? Yeah?
Yeah, well, as you know, there's always struggles. Yes, yeah.
So one thing you probably don't knowabout me was I actually started out
as a computer programmer. I gota degree in computer science from San Jose
(13:24):
State University, and I was doingthat for quite a while and I just
decided, gosh, you know,this is really not for me. I
really want to be a storyteller.So I slowly made this progression and changed
the filmmaking, and I was reallychallenging. You know. I would do
(13:50):
my full day job, you know, back then it was even you know,
nine to nine, and then Iwould quickly have dinner, and then
after Leanna would go to sleep,I would get on YouTube and I would
learn all about filmmaking between like nineand two am. And I did that
probably for over a year. SoI kind of had to do that transition
(14:16):
and do it, you know,with a big leap of faith because I
didn't really have the formal training.But you know, I would say one
thing that really surprised me about raisinga kid was I had a best buddy
at university, and I thought wewere going to be best buddies for life.
(14:39):
You know, we were in syncabout everything. But as soon as
we had kids, we found outthat we really had different parenting styles and
because of that, we actually grewapart as friends. And that's such a
shame. Know, they say,I'm also a drummer, and so they
(15:05):
say, you know, ban dynamicsor just trying to get a team to
form together where they all geil andall personalities, you know, Gel,
it's so so tough, and sothat that was one struggle that really kind
of got to me. And Iguess just starting my own company, you
(15:28):
know, in the midst of allof this, and not really having read
a book on how to parents,you know. I mean when you think
about school, you think about,oh, this is just for my career
and how am I going to progressmy career, and you never think of
going to school or to learn abouthow to be a parent, you know,
(15:50):
right right? Yeah, No,And every child is different too.
I mean they can write a book, and there are books out there that
you can pick up and I'm surethey give you some great but it's all
just like a a base, likea foundation to kind of spring forward from,
because like like I said, everychild is different, every pregnancy is
different, and each parent's relationship witha child can be different too. And
(16:14):
so that's the part of it thatyou know, you can't really read in
a book, you can't really goto a class and get trained on so
you have to learn on the job. There isn't always a YouTube that you
can go to to get a parentinganswer. But I think that you know
you you you see uh in youreyes as we're having this conversation, like
(16:36):
how how successful you've you've been ableto be along this road because you know
you you've got this great career.Your daughter is about to you know,
become a PhD. I mean she'sindependent, right, And and the other
part of it too is you knowyou've been in these positions where you've been
fortunate enough to to share these storiesand important stories that people need to hear
(17:02):
about. These creative roles have almostgiven you an opportunity to bring your kids
along, right or bring your daughteralong. And and like you said,
have these these life experiences be wellbefore you know, most adults do.
Do you think that there have beensome some opportunities where your career and your
you know, leap of faith intothe creative world has allowed for your daughter
(17:26):
to be that much more let's justsay world world, like getting that worldview,
Like, what what is it aboutyour career and these creative roles that
have allowed for that? Yeah,yeah, that's that's a good question.
Yeah, I think I think overthe years, I think I found that
(17:49):
that making ought reading gives me aninsight into my everyday family life. Yeah.
You know, the more I makethe art, the more I understand
every day people and readly how lifeworks. I think one of the things
(18:11):
I enjoy most in filmmaking is directing, and the most important job is mutual
trust, right, allowing your actorsto feel comfortable in their environment and just
being able to be the physical,emotional, vulnerable self right, you know.
(18:34):
And so it was a bit ofa struggle at the beginning for my
daughter, but I just had toestablish that safe and open relationship with her
and hopefully giving her the confidence andsecurity that she can grow the way she
(18:55):
needed to. You know. Imean, no one is the perfect kid,
right, And so there were alot of difficult conversations that we had
to have but we try to doit with as much openness as possible.
And I think it woke out.I think, you know, she's really
ready for her PhD. And andyeah, I'm just so proud of her.
(19:22):
Amazing, and I'm sure she's I'msure she's proud of you too,
because she got to witness the sleepof faith. Right, She got to
see, you know, you transitionfrom one career into another and probably make
it look seamless for her because shedidn't really probably see a lot of those
sleepless nights that you had and thosethose times where you had to sacrifice.
(19:45):
Right. I mean, there's there'sgot to be a mom or two or
more that's that's checking out this podcastthat's like, this is what I want
to do. I don't want tobe doing this nine to five or this
dead end job, or you know, whatever it is that they're currently doing.
I mean, as someone who's gonethrough it and taken the initiative in
their own hands to make it happenfor themselves, created their own business,
(20:07):
what are some things that you mightbe able to impart to them to kind
of give you know, whether it'smotivation or just straight up the realness,
right, because a lot of timesit's like, Okay, yeah, this
is great, I'm doing great,but they don't get to see you know,
hey, I didn't. I onlygot five hours of sleep every night
this whole week, you know whatI mean, And then I had to
(20:30):
get up and do it like Ilike, I got a full night sleep.
And those are the nights. Thoseare the hard moments and the sacrifices
that you know, really build youand build you into this person that's unbreakable.
Right. So are there any youknow, things that you would say
to that mom who's like been puttingit off and is like, you know
what, I want to take thisleap, but I just I don't know
what to do first. Yeah,you know, when it comes to filmmaking,
(20:55):
it's it's so competitive, right,I would just say just go for
it, you know. I meanpeople ask, well, how do you
get to the top of everest?Right? I mean it's such a daunting
task. Or you put one footin front of the other, right,
So don't don't worry about where thingsare going to land. You know,
(21:19):
you're going to gain so much experienceby just doing it. You know,
create all these passion projects and youwill learn so much and work on those
foundational skills. And then also alsodon't don't just do the fun stuff.
You know, for me, itwas always oh, you know, going
(21:41):
on said it's so sexy, it'sso much fun the production side of things.
But you know, to be awell rounded person, you have to
work on the business side of things, and so just being able to be
engaged in the industry and work aroundall aspects really really does help. But
(22:03):
just just go for it, youknow. I love that. I love
that one foot in front of theother, keep making those taking those steps,
keep pushing forward. And you talkedabout, you know, not just
doing the fun stuff, doing thestuff that you have to do. Another
thing that you another thing that youhave to do, and this is daily,
is incorporate some form of self care. Are there things that you do
(22:25):
regularly to make sure that you're you'remaintaining your self care. Well, I
don't know if you can tell,but I'm a type a workaholic kind of
person, so I'm always on thego, So it's really hard for me
to not think about, you know, live, eat, breathe filmmaking.
But yeah, I would say planningholidays, mmm, you know, because
(22:52):
that that's that's the fun time.Yeah, and I read I do not
bring my laptop otherwise is there's nohope. But yeah, just going on
holidays and and and and that's theonly time I can rely escape because I
don't have a laptop. That's that'sthe way to do it, though,
(23:15):
is to to plan those times andyou can break away with your family,
unplug a little bit, create somelifelong memories. But you guys, are
you know, getting ready for anotheropportunity to create some lifelong memories with the
upcoming Sinequest Film Festival. This isan event that that comes around and and
it's an exciting time. I mean, is there some excitement that you want
(23:37):
to share with everyone as we prepare? Yeah, I mean just the whole
world of virtual reality and augmented realityx x R is what it's called nowadays.
But it's the content is amazing,you know if you yeah, it
just gets better and better. Thetechnology has accelerated so much over the years.
(24:00):
Each year when we represent the finalistsin our competition, just mind blowing
the kind of stuff that's coming outand how immersive the content can be in
the world of virtuality. And actuallythat's how I actually started working at Syloquest.
(24:22):
I went to Sylicus about seven yearsago when they first started the virtuality
program, and I saw a piececalled the Blue and it was this underworld
world and I put that headset onfor the first time, and my mind
was just blown. So, yeah, just come check it out. It's
(24:48):
it's during the latter part of August. It's an annual event. We have
an in person event in August andthen an online version usually and munch.
Yeah, check out. Check outthe website. We've got some amazing stuff
happening. Love it. Love ittinequest dot org for all the info.
(25:11):
Of course, you know, aswe kind of talk about our kids and
you know, really nurturing their growthand nurturing their you know, interests,
there's kids that you know, theythey may you know, be playing video
games or getting excited about this creativespace. And you know, I can
tell you my five year old andmy three year old have already been exposed
(25:33):
to online games and they're mostly youknow, learning games, right, They're
learning games. They you know,watch these these amazing creations that are animated
movies, right, but taking thosekind of like interests in those pastimes and
actually turning them and encouraging them intospaces where they can actually learn and also
(25:56):
potentially build a career. Like doyou have any anything that we can we
can share with moms who are tryingto turn that passion for video games into
like, hey, you're actually reallygood at this. This could be a
career, or this could be ajumping stone to a career. Yeah,
so program I mean I started outas a computer programmer, which is why
(26:18):
VR to me makes so much sensebecause I am able to blend the two
art and technology. There are someamazing programming tools for kids. I mean,
I mean kindergarteners nowadays are learning howto program right so I forget the
(26:40):
name of it, but but justslowly introduce yourself to to it at a
very young age. I mean,they'll they'll have amazing hand eye coordination.
You know, they can be chewinggum and walking and all the same time.
(27:02):
Right. It's it is a skill. And sometimes you know, as
a parent, you're like, youknow, your first instinct gets to be
like wait a minute, put thatdown, you know, and you're not
really looking at it. It's like, oh my goodness, Like you're like
you said, you're doing all thesethings at the same time and you're completing
a game. I remember we usedto joke around with my little brother because
(27:22):
he would play two phones at thesame time and it was like, whoa
wait a minute, Like that takessuch focus, hand eye coordination, and
there's something there, right, SoI think, you know, I let
my kids, you know, playand dabble here and there. They might
do like an addition game or acooking game where they're actually measuring and like
(27:44):
doing colors and matching and things likethat. So I try to always have
like an academic piece tied to itin there. But but I think you're
right, you know, starting themat a young age, giving them just
this little, this little taste ofwhat it could be, and then it
just kind of blossoms from there.So it's amazing to think, you know,
where they'll go to next. Imean, I don't know if you
remember, but I remember when thevirtual reality places started popping up in like
(28:08):
malls and shopping areas, and ourminds were completely blown of like what is
this, Like it's a huge contraption. I mean back then they were big,
right, Like now you have thesevideo game consoles that are just goggles
essentially right and you can have itin your home, whereas before before it
was like you had to go andit was this big machine and like they
(28:29):
had to put this whole helmet thingon you. And so just in that
timeframe, we've seen it grow somuch, and just getting our kids exposed
to these types of things at youngerages and guiding it the right way can
be can be something amazing. SoI'm excited to see what we get to
partake in at Sinequez. I'm excitedto hear more about your newest project.
(28:52):
When is there anything we can lookout for or any website we can stay
you know, in tune with tofind out when it's going to drop?
Oh yeah, thanks so like eggwhispersfilm dot com. We're at the final
stages of infertility documentary and so thathopefully will come out early next year.
(29:15):
Wow. Exciting another another berth,Yes exactly about fertility. Yes, yes,
amazing. May thank you so muchfor joining us today. I'm sure
at some point we'll have you backon and we'll talk more about your your
new documentary once it drops. That'llbe exciting to have you back on again.
(29:36):
Awesome, Thank you so much.This was such a joy
This Mama Got Drama back for anotherepisode. I am so excited to anytime
we get to just come on andtalk about mamahood, the adventures of being
a parent, the adventures of jugglingyour career, trying to find time for
self care. There's so much onthe daily that goes into these adventures.
And when we say this Mama GotDrama, the drama is all the emotions
(00:21):
that we go through on the dailyas we're going through this journey. And
it can go zero two hundreds sofast. I'm your host, Lady Ray.
My co host Drina will be backwith us on the next episode.
But we have an amazing guest withus today. I will let her tell
you more about her role and whatshe does for a living. But we
have may Yam on with us,who is an amazing dedicated mom. She
(00:42):
works with Sinnequest right here in theBay Area. She's a film creator.
A I mean, this list iskind of crazy, Mane. I'm so
honored to be here. Thank youso much. We're so happy to have
you because you're just coming back fromif I'm not mistake in filming overseas right,
Yeah, you know, I justhad this crazy opportunity. The last
(01:04):
month I spent in Africa, Itraveled to Angola and I got to film
for the first Lady of Angola.Wow. And then I went over to
Namibia and I filmed a female presidentialcandidate of Namibia. Her name is doctor
Martin and Jebel Tollahuano. And nowI'm back in America and I'm also representing
(01:30):
a USA presidential election candidate. Hisname is Philip Drake. And just just
having an amazing time, an amazingtime traveling the world, getting to do
what you love, which is youknow, being a film creat creator,
being you know, around the arts, being around these narratives and telling stories,
(01:52):
right, and you're actually the rolethat you currently hold. Can you
tell the people a little bit aboutwhat you do with cineques and what their
role looks like. Yeah? Yeah, so really excited about Cinequz. It's
been around for over thirty years andright here in San Jose and I basically
won the filming department of the festivaland I also create the marketing material.
(02:17):
We also do the actors' tribute videosfor the movie stars that have been at
Cinequest. I've been at Sonaquest overseven years now, and so I've got
to work with some amazing stars likeNicholas Cage, Emilio Estevez, William Macy,
(02:38):
Andy mcdowald, and last year JimGaffigan we got to premiere his feature
film. And then also on thenon filming side, I also run the
virtual reality and film department for CINEQUZand I've been running there for about six
years now and was well the lasttime we had a in person event,
(03:06):
we actually got to do augmented realityand room scale experiences, which was just
amazing and we we're really excited.Unfortunately this year we're not going to be
able to do it in person,but we hope that we will be able
to resume that Nick share nice andyou know the people that are listening that,
(03:30):
you know, they've got these creativeminds that want to be around film,
want to be around art. Theirminds are just you know, exploding,
right because there's so many exciting projectsthat you're working on and things that
you're bringing to the you know,artistic the film community. I mean,
and you're doing this all you know, as a mom, right, And
(03:52):
you talked about being with cinequest forthe last seven years and I'm assuming before
that had some other roles that werein the same field, right, you
know, you're one of the waysthat we actually kick off our episode is
to talk about our kids, right, because we're out here, you know,
chasing our career goals. We've gotall of these, you know,
achievements that we want to get to, and we're still you know that number
(04:14):
one achievement, which is raising theselittle people into capable people. Right,
And so you know, just kindof talking about our kids. What is
something new or exciting that your childis doing. So actually, I'm really
excited to tell you that. Well, first of all, we have one
daughter. Her name is Leana,and she's now twenty two, and she
just moved to Boston while study herPhD at Northeastern University. Very cool,
(04:42):
very cool. I mean, you'retalking about your PhD bound student and I'm
over here trying to manage my evotionsbecause my five year old is getting ready
to go off to kindergarten, which, by the way, is not that
big of a move from the BayArea to Boston, but it feels that
way, right, Like, youknow, if you can think back to
when you you sent her off tokindergarten. So now to where you're sitting
(05:02):
her out to you know, anotherstate, another you know, huge journey
that she's about to take. Likeit's emotional, right, Like you're exciting
for them. They're getting ready totake off and you know, push the
extremes on their limitless potential. Right, They're gonna have these new experiences and
we're there, but we're not there, right, So yeah, yeah,
(05:23):
it's an amazing journey. Yeah.Are you one of those moms that's like
I need you to check in likeevery day or every other day at least.
Yeah, you know, just theidea of being an empty Nesta in
itself was just so petrifying. Youknow, I'm not good with goodbyes.
So luckily I actually got to leavebefore she did. I actually left for
(05:49):
Africa two days before her, right, so I didn't have to say my
goodbyes to her. There you go, there you go. You're like,
I'm gonna take this quick job overhere, real quick, and yeah,
that's I mean, but that's it'sit's such a it's such a bittersweet thing,
right, Like you feel so excited, like I said, for them,
(06:10):
but you're also like, oh mygod, where's my baby going?
So, you know, thankfully wehave the amazing technology that we do these
days, and we can you know, video chat with them, we can
stay connected with them in a coupleof different ways. So you have a
lot on your plate, though,and I'm sure you're gonna be staying busy
to to kind of have that emptynest, you know, kind of feeling
(06:32):
just me in the background. It'llit'll get better with time, right,
But you've got so much on yourplate to keep you busy. I mean,
what are some of the current projects. Of course we talked about Sinequez.
What is what is going in likethe day to day kind of preparations
for you? Wow? Yeah,So I guess I'll say My latest baby
(06:53):
is is a documentary that I've beenworking on for three years. We call
all of our movies babies because ittakes that much. Is actually called egg
Whispers, and I've been working onit for about three years and it's about
infertility. Wow. And its starsstars some ladies from the prime time hit
(07:17):
TV show The Bachelor, The Bachelorette. We have Bobby Blank from the WWE
fame and then also a former MissTeen USA winner, Caroline Lunney And so
for the last three years I basicallyfollowed the fertility journey with the fertility specialist
(07:39):
doctor Amy Ivaside, who are practicesright here in the Bay Area, and
we just came across some amazing stories. And I just want to get this
story out because fertility or infertility issuch a taboo subject and it's something that
just really needs to be talked about. And so I kind of had some
(08:03):
struggles when when after we had ourfirst daughter, when I was ready to
have a second, I was inmy early thirties and I found out I
had early onset metoporns. Wow.Wow, it was a huge shock,
you know, and as much aswe love our daughter, you know,
(08:26):
we would have liked to have hadoptions. Right. So I want to
bring this film out and educate peopleand make it start conversations. And I
think you're you're writing saying that thatit is still a taboo topic in that
people don't necessarily know how to talkabout it, right because it unless you
(08:50):
know someone or are someone going throughit, you don't realize how painstaking it
is, like how much time ittakes and money it takes, and and
that's just talking about like the theyou know, quote unquote tangible part of
it, right, but there's theemotional part of it that is so taxing,
(09:11):
especially you know for the woman whohas to endure all of this like
hormonal change. It's it's a lot, right, and I think that you
you, you deserve all the flowersfor bringing this conversation to the forefront because
the more you talk about it,the easier it becomes right and and the
easier it is for people to actuallybe there for their friends and whoever it
(09:35):
is that is is going through thatprocess. You know that this is a
three You talked about it being yourbaby, right like you're it's it is
right, Like you're you're nursing italong, You're creating this this project,
you're building it up, and youknow you're doing this while being a full
time mom too, right, Like, how did you how were you able
(09:56):
to juggle? You know, thisis you talking about this particular document.
You had one before that, You'vehad other roles before that as your daughter
was kind of growing up. Howdo you juggle this type of career because
it's not like your atypical like nineto five, Like there's got to be
days where you're filming for more hoursthan regular time, you know what I'm
(10:18):
saying. So how are you ableto juggle mamahood and you know, striving
for your career goals? Yeah,now that's a good question for me.
Luckily, the world that I'm in, in terms of filmmaking, you're actually
not on set in production for thatlong of appearing. That's probably only about
(10:39):
ten percent of your work. Mostof the work is pre production and post
production, which can be done athome or your home office. And so
I was just really fortunate to beable to have a flexible schedule where I
can work around her sleeping and herfeeing schedule. I mean, I can't
(11:03):
I can't stress enough how important itis to just have a wonderful support group.
You know, my my mom cameout from Hong Kong and looked after
Leanna for over a year. Andthe funny thing is we actually became really
good friends with Leanna's friends' parents,so we like got a whole new group
(11:28):
of friends because of her. Otherthings I did was to try to stay
engaged and try to hang out withher, So I actually became a part
time after school science teacher. Wow. And uh, and obviously Leanna was
in the class, and so Ifelt like I was teaching her STEM and
(11:50):
so we would just have a blastdoing that. So you know, I
I made it work. I madeI made it work out, you know,
just who's scheduling and studying values andjust trying to have quantity time with
her. Right. It's funny becausemy husband Greg, he jokes that our
(12:13):
daughter actually had more life experiences beforeage of twenty than he did in his
first fifty years. But that's whatwe strive for, right. We strive
for our kids in that next generationto do more than us and to be
better than us and be bigger thanus. And so that part of it
is like, okay, you guys, actually you can check that off the
(12:37):
list. Right, Like, lookingback, you're like, man, wait
a minute, how come I didn'tget these experiences? But when you actually
take a step back and you lookat it, you're like, I'm actually
living what I wanted to do,right, Like I wanted to give this
to my child. So that's amazing. I mean, you make it seem
so effortless. And yes, youknow, there's a part of it that
we're so fortunate to have these careersin media that are a little more flexible
(13:01):
and we can kind of work aroundour kids. But were there times where
there were struggles and how were youable to break through those? Yeah?
Yeah, well, as you know, there's always struggles. Yes, yeah.
So one thing you probably don't knowabout me was I actually started out
as a computer programmer. I gota degree in computer science from San Jose
(13:24):
State University, and I was doingthat for quite a while and I just
decided, gosh, you know,this is really not for me. I
really want to be a storyteller.So I slowly made this progression and changed
the filmmaking, and I was reallychallenging. You know. I would do
(13:50):
my full day job, you know, back then it was even you know,
nine to nine, and then Iwould quickly have dinner, and then
after Leanna would go to sleep,I would get on YouTube and I would
learn all about filmmaking between like nineand two am. And I did that
probably for over a year. SoI kind of had to do that transition
(14:16):
and do it, you know,with a big leap of faith because I
didn't really have the formal training.But you know, I would say one
thing that really surprised me about raisinga kid was I had a best buddy
at university, and I thought wewere going to be best buddies for life.
(14:39):
You know, we were in syncabout everything. But as soon as
we had kids, we found outthat we really had different parenting styles and
because of that, we actually grewapart as friends. And that's such a
shame. Know, they say,I'm also a drummer, and so they
(15:05):
say, you know, ban dynamicsor just trying to get a team to
form together where they all geil andall personalities, you know, Gel,
it's so so tough, and sothat that was one struggle that really kind
of got to me. And Iguess just starting my own company, you
(15:28):
know, in the midst of allof this, and not really having read
a book on how to parents,you know. I mean when you think
about school, you think about,oh, this is just for my career
and how am I going to progressmy career, and you never think of
going to school or to learn abouthow to be a parent, you know,
(15:50):
right right? Yeah, No,And every child is different too.
I mean they can write a book, and there are books out there that
you can pick up and I'm surethey give you some great but it's all
just like a a base, likea foundation to kind of spring forward from,
because like like I said, everychild is different, every pregnancy is
different, and each parent's relationship witha child can be different too. And
(16:14):
so that's the part of it thatyou know, you can't really read in
a book, you can't really goto a class and get trained on so
you have to learn on the job. There isn't always a YouTube that you
can go to to get a parentinganswer. But I think that you know
you you you see uh in youreyes as we're having this conversation, like
(16:36):
how how successful you've you've been ableto be along this road because you know
you you've got this great career.Your daughter is about to you know,
become a PhD. I mean she'sindependent, right, And and the other
part of it too is you knowyou've been in these positions where you've been
fortunate enough to to share these storiesand important stories that people need to hear
(17:02):
about. These creative roles have almostgiven you an opportunity to bring your kids
along, right or bring your daughteralong. And and like you said,
have these these life experiences be wellbefore you know, most adults do.
Do you think that there have beensome some opportunities where your career and your
you know, leap of faith intothe creative world has allowed for your daughter
(17:26):
to be that much more let's justsay world world, like getting that worldview,
Like, what what is it aboutyour career and these creative roles that
have allowed for that? Yeah,yeah, that's that's a good question.
Yeah, I think I think overthe years, I think I found that
(17:49):
that making ought reading gives me aninsight into my everyday family life. Yeah.
You know, the more I makethe art, the more I understand
every day people and readly how lifeworks. I think one of the things
(18:11):
I enjoy most in filmmaking is directing, and the most important job is mutual
trust, right, allowing your actorsto feel comfortable in their environment and just
being able to be the physical,emotional, vulnerable self right, you know.
(18:34):
And so it was a bit ofa struggle at the beginning for my
daughter, but I just had toestablish that safe and open relationship with her
and hopefully giving her the confidence andsecurity that she can grow the way she
(18:55):
needed to. You know. Imean, no one is the perfect kid,
right, And so there were alot of difficult conversations that we had
to have but we try to doit with as much openness as possible.
And I think it woke out.I think, you know, she's really
ready for her PhD. And andyeah, I'm just so proud of her.
(19:22):
Amazing, and I'm sure she's I'msure she's proud of you too,
because she got to witness the sleepof faith. Right, She got to
see, you know, you transitionfrom one career into another and probably make
it look seamless for her because shedidn't really probably see a lot of those
sleepless nights that you had and thosethose times where you had to sacrifice.
(19:45):
Right. I mean, there's there'sgot to be a mom or two or
more that's that's checking out this podcastthat's like, this is what I want
to do. I don't want tobe doing this nine to five or this
dead end job, or you know, whatever it is that they're currently doing.
I mean, as someone who's gonethrough it and taken the initiative in
their own hands to make it happenfor themselves, created their own business,
(20:07):
what are some things that you mightbe able to impart to them to kind
of give you know, whether it'smotivation or just straight up the realness,
right, because a lot of timesit's like, Okay, yeah, this
is great, I'm doing great,but they don't get to see you know,
hey, I didn't. I onlygot five hours of sleep every night
this whole week, you know whatI mean, And then I had to
(20:30):
get up and do it like Ilike, I got a full night sleep.
And those are the nights. Thoseare the hard moments and the sacrifices
that you know, really build youand build you into this person that's unbreakable.
Right. So are there any youknow, things that you would say
to that mom who's like been puttingit off and is like, you know
what, I want to take thisleap, but I just I don't know
what to do first. Yeah,you know, when it comes to filmmaking,
(20:55):
it's it's so competitive, right,I would just say just go for
it, you know. I meanpeople ask, well, how do you
get to the top of everest?Right? I mean it's such a daunting
task. Or you put one footin front of the other, right,
So don't don't worry about where thingsare going to land. You know,
(21:19):
you're going to gain so much experienceby just doing it. You know,
create all these passion projects and youwill learn so much and work on those
foundational skills. And then also alsodon't don't just do the fun stuff.
You know, for me, itwas always oh, you know, going
(21:41):
on said it's so sexy, it'sso much fun the production side of things.
But you know, to be awell rounded person, you have to
work on the business side of things, and so just being able to be
engaged in the industry and work aroundall aspects really really does help. But
(22:03):
just just go for it, youknow. I love that. I love
that one foot in front of theother, keep making those taking those steps,
keep pushing forward. And you talkedabout, you know, not just
doing the fun stuff, doing thestuff that you have to do. Another
thing that you another thing that youhave to do, and this is daily,
is incorporate some form of self care. Are there things that you do
(22:25):
regularly to make sure that you're you'remaintaining your self care. Well, I
don't know if you can tell,but I'm a type a workaholic kind of
person, so I'm always on thego, So it's really hard for me
to not think about, you know, live, eat, breathe filmmaking.
But yeah, I would say planningholidays, mmm, you know, because
(22:52):
that that's that's the fun time.Yeah, and I read I do not
bring my laptop otherwise is there's nohope. But yeah, just going on
holidays and and and and that's theonly time I can rely escape because I
don't have a laptop. That's that'sthe way to do it, though,
(23:15):
is to to plan those times andyou can break away with your family,
unplug a little bit, create somelifelong memories. But you guys, are
you know, getting ready for anotheropportunity to create some lifelong memories with the
upcoming Sinequest Film Festival. This isan event that that comes around and and
it's an exciting time. I mean, is there some excitement that you want
(23:37):
to share with everyone as we prepare? Yeah, I mean just the whole
world of virtual reality and augmented realityx x R is what it's called nowadays.
But it's the content is amazing,you know if you yeah, it
just gets better and better. Thetechnology has accelerated so much over the years.
(24:00):
Each year when we represent the finalistsin our competition, just mind blowing
the kind of stuff that's coming outand how immersive the content can be in
the world of virtuality. And actuallythat's how I actually started working at Syloquest.
(24:22):
I went to Sylicus about seven yearsago when they first started the virtuality
program, and I saw a piececalled the Blue and it was this underworld
world and I put that headset onfor the first time, and my mind
was just blown. So, yeah, just come check it out. It's
(24:48):
it's during the latter part of August. It's an annual event. We have
an in person event in August andthen an online version usually and munch.
Yeah, check out. Check outthe website. We've got some amazing stuff
happening. Love it. Love ittinequest dot org for all the info.
(25:11):
Of course, you know, aswe kind of talk about our kids and
you know, really nurturing their growthand nurturing their you know, interests,
there's kids that you know, theythey may you know, be playing video
games or getting excited about this creativespace. And you know, I can
tell you my five year old andmy three year old have already been exposed
(25:33):
to online games and they're mostly youknow, learning games, right, They're
learning games. They you know,watch these these amazing creations that are animated
movies, right, but taking thosekind of like interests in those pastimes and
actually turning them and encouraging them intospaces where they can actually learn and also
(25:56):
potentially build a career. Like doyou have any anything that we can we
can share with moms who are tryingto turn that passion for video games into
like, hey, you're actually reallygood at this. This could be a
career, or this could be ajumping stone to a career. Yeah,
so program I mean I started outas a computer programmer, which is why
(26:18):
VR to me makes so much sensebecause I am able to blend the two
art and technology. There are someamazing programming tools for kids. I mean,
I mean kindergarteners nowadays are learning howto program right so I forget the
(26:40):
name of it, but but justslowly introduce yourself to to it at a
very young age. I mean,they'll they'll have amazing hand eye coordination.
You know, they can be chewinggum and walking and all the same time.
(27:02):
Right. It's it is a skill. And sometimes you know, as
a parent, you're like, youknow, your first instinct gets to be
like wait a minute, put thatdown, you know, and you're not
really looking at it. It's like, oh my goodness, Like you're like
you said, you're doing all thesethings at the same time and you're completing
a game. I remember we usedto joke around with my little brother because
(27:22):
he would play two phones at thesame time and it was like, whoa
wait a minute, Like that takessuch focus, hand eye coordination, and
there's something there, right, SoI think, you know, I let
my kids, you know, playand dabble here and there. They might
do like an addition game or acooking game where they're actually measuring and like
(27:44):
doing colors and matching and things likethat. So I try to always have
like an academic piece tied to itin there. But but I think you're
right, you know, starting themat a young age, giving them just
this little, this little taste ofwhat it could be, and then it
just kind of blossoms from there.So it's amazing to think, you know,
where they'll go to next. Imean, I don't know if you
remember, but I remember when thevirtual reality places started popping up in like
(28:08):
malls and shopping areas, and ourminds were completely blown of like what is
this, Like it's a huge contraption. I mean back then they were big,
right, Like now you have thesevideo game consoles that are just goggles
essentially right and you can have itin your home, whereas before before it
was like you had to go andit was this big machine and like they
(28:29):
had to put this whole helmet thingon you. And so just in that
timeframe, we've seen it grow somuch, and just getting our kids exposed
to these types of things at youngerages and guiding it the right way can
be can be something amazing. SoI'm excited to see what we get to
partake in at Sinequez. I'm excitedto hear more about your newest project.
(28:52):
When is there anything we can lookout for or any website we can stay
you know, in tune with tofind out when it's going to drop?
Oh yeah, thanks so like eggwhispersfilm dot com. We're at the final
stages of infertility documentary and so thathopefully will come out early next year.
(29:15):
Wow. Exciting another another berth,Yes exactly about fertility. Yes, yes,
amazing. May thank you so muchfor joining us today. I'm sure
at some point we'll have you backon and we'll talk more about your your
new documentary once it drops. That'llbe exciting to have you back on again.
(29:36):
Awesome, Thank you so much.This was such a joy
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