The convo on This Mama Got Drama features SuperHero Mamas that are breaking through obstacles, challenging their lives to achieve their goals and dreams while juggling full-time mom life, family and finding creative ways to carve out time for vital self-care. For the first time ever, we’re excited to feature Dads on our podcast – not only to celebrate Dads during Father’s Day Month, but also because us Mommies know we couldn’t do it without our village! Shouts to all the Papas, the Zaddies and Pops that are there for their babies and families, going above and beyond. Meet Rodrigo Ehecatl Durán one of the first dads to jump on with us as we hear about his prep for his FIRST xFather’s Day! Building on that excitement – we hear about his experience as the Executive Director of Carnaval celebrating its 45th year as a major celebration of Latinx and Afro-Latinx culture, music and family in San Francisco. Let’s not forget Rodrigo’s work to uplift the community and put Human Rights in the forefront through his newly sworn in position with the Human Rights Commission. Tune in to hear how he’s keeping focus and drive to maintain his healthy ‘Dad Bod’ so he can be there for his family and community!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
This Vava got Drama back for anotherepisode. First off, we haven't done
this a while. Can we justgive a round of applausecause we made it?
Hey, it's always half the battle. Yes, yes, we made
it. Lady Ram, your hostsour other host is the beautiful, the
wonderful Drena Gonzalez. How are youfeeling this morning? I'm good, A
little tired this Monday case in theMondays, but I'm good. Wow.
(00:21):
My hair should tell you right now. I'm the closed I can't see it.
I'm like, I just bounced up, like let's go. And of
course we got the amazing Rodrigo Duran, who actually has a hat on if
you can't see him. He's like, look, we throw the heat on
it and we keep it moving.Yeah, okay, how are you feeling?
Blast little stress but happy to behere. We were just talking about
(00:41):
that off camera off Mike, howlike as you become a new pairent,
you start to do that one emojiface that's like, Ike, I remember
when my babies first came. Iremember having like almost like a little bit
of pain right around my bottom liparea because I would be biting my lip
like I want to just so youalready, Dad, I am a new
(01:03):
dad. I'm so it's like theprobably the one of the most proudest moments
was when I became a father,so you know, and and you know,
Father's Day is coming up soon andit's gonna be my very first.
So there's a lot of first andthere's a lot of emotions behind all of
it, but ninety nine point nineof them are positive. You already got
(01:25):
first through the first like pressure momentof your wife's first Mother's Day, right
like you already, So you're like, now the pressure's on you, bo,
what are we doing for Father's Day? You know our standards and Dad
like, let's just keep it simple. Let's just have a good time.
Let's eat some good food, youknow. And I like to keep it
that way. You know. Thewife, he can do what she wants
(01:47):
because she deserves all of that.My lord. You know, as as
a new father, I realized everythingthat mothers go through and more, and
so I'm just here to support.Just just give me some food and I'm
happy. I like all of that. And this is really cool for us,
you know, as moms, workingmoms, radio moms, you know,
and have this podcast and have aspace for us to really create some
(02:07):
some conversation, right for working moms. And this is our first time having
dad's on, So you're one ofour first dad's on. Yeahs out there.
Yeah, we're doing it just foryou guys for Father's Day months,
So happy early first Father's Day.That was a tough twister right there.
Yeah. I mean, well,let's let's talk about the stuff that you
(02:27):
do away from baby though, becauseyou do a lot. Like you're just
coming off of the biggest celebration inSan Francisco, right, which is kind
an Avoile celebrating forty five years whatincredible, Yeah, you know, and
I tell everyone like I'm a partof all Baby yeah, talking about parenthood,
motherhood, fatherhood, Like my momand my dad were on, Well,
(02:47):
my mom was gonna float thirty plusyears ago, a part of all
in Astic Dance regalia. My dadwas dancing because you know he could dance,
of course, And thirty plus yearslater, like I'm the executive director
of Carnival, and I have likethe pleasure and honor really to continue that
tradition for other parents, for otherchildren, for other youth. So it
(03:09):
feels like full circle right now.And we just celebrate a wonderful forty event.
Are your parents so excited, Like, I mean, they have to
be so proud. They pull outall the folks like remember this carnival Like
look at and I'm like, yes, yes, and I remember, they're
really exac They're really happy that one. You know, it stays in the
(03:31):
family, the community, and itstays in our city, you know,
because it's the city event, um, and it brings out the best of
what San Francisco and the Bear hasto offer to the world. And that's
what's cool about it too, islike you said, it's it's a family
event, right, Like you'll seefull families out there, dancing, having
a good time, feeling safe tojust you know, um, soak up
(03:53):
all the culture and just be apart of it. Now you get to
create these new memories with your babyexactly. So. Yes, the last
year my wife was pregnant, shewas going on the float. She was
at the grandstand area, but youknow, being president being taking photos there,
Like I know, it's gonna meana lot as we get older,
(04:13):
as the baby grows. And thenthis year it was her first year,
my baby the Lord of Stats,and she was at the grandstand and we're
like, man, we're nervous,Like would she be okay with the sound
of music? That's all. Shedidn't want to know about anyone. She's
like, I'm looking at that dancerright there, and I was like,
there you go, that's right,she's the parade I love. Kay.
(04:34):
Yeah, get ready for all thosemoments where you're like, yeah, that's
my baby. Like there's little thingsthat they do. You're like, yep,
that's mine. Yeah. And thenand then you got some exciting,
like you know, new stuff that'shappening with the San Francisco Human Rights Commission
talked to us about that. Yeah, you know, um, it really
(04:55):
took the my family and my communityto like lift me up and put me
where I am. On this pastMonday, I was sworn in as a
new commissioner to the Human Rights Commission. Uh and for me, it's going
back to these full circle moments.I'm born, raised here, I want
(05:15):
I've been wanting to serve my cityat a larger capacity. With Carnival,
I serve family, the artists worldin San Francisco a mission more specifically,
but now as a Human Rights Commissioner, UM, I can see myself you
know, sharing more love. That'swhat I said in my speech, Like
I've been privileged to be to havebeen given a lot of love for my
(05:36):
parents and to have been taught howto love and to multiply it. And
and with that in mind, Ifeel like the city needs to you know,
and I'm just really humbled and excitedto be in this position where you
know, we can support the blackcommunity, you know that that needs a
lot of UH justice resources, theNative American community, Latin that API and
(06:00):
so on and so forth. Iwant to be there to make sure that
people's human rights are heard and thatthey feel safe in this wonderful city of
Sancisco. That's a lot, man. I we appreciate the fact that you're
you know, you take it toheart and you actually, you know,
you bring the heart to it becauseit really means that right, Like it's
not there's not always just one answerto every issue that comes up, and
(06:25):
you have to kind of lead withyour heart, lead with your compassion and
the fact that you you know,born and raise in SFC, like that's
it takes that to to be ableto answer this call. So man,
salute to you, and yeah,I was gonna say around him applause to
be honestly, like, I mean, having having the passion and the heart,
like she said, is the mostimportant thing. And I think to
(06:46):
me that speaks volumes of how you'regoing to be able to just handle the
situation and just be a boss fora lack of better words, you know,
and just really thrive in the position. So yeah, you know,
like if a lot of ours anda lot of our traditions and whether it's
part of all Native American and evenlike African traditions, it's about the next
(07:08):
seven generations, right, So ifI can be put a little grain of
sand to create that road, topave it so that the next seven generations
can do better, I mean that'spretty fulfilling for me. And I'm thinking
one generation and being my daughter rightright, and how do I support her
so then she can continue supporting forward. That's what crossed my mind. But
(07:32):
I also I am very aware oftime, you know, the time that
I have and that I need tospend with my family. All these thoughts,
you know, as a new fathercome to mind because like you say,
lady, like Ray, I'm I'mI'm stretched in a lot of different
fields in San Francisco. But luckilyI have my wife who really keeps me
(07:53):
grounded and who just helped me refocus, like what's really important at the end
of the day of that nucleus cominghome and ensuring that that we're doing.
I yeah, because it's like yousaid, like it's it's not only having
a lot on your plate, butit's it's already a benefit to already to
(08:16):
have that mindset to think seven generationsahead, right, because you think of
families that are just trying to surviveday to day, month to month,
right, So so you you're alreadyin a really great place that you can
even have that foresight, in thatvision to start thinking of generations ahead,
because let's be real, like acouple of generations behind us they didn't really
have that luxury, or even thegeneration behind us, our parents didn't always
(08:39):
have that luxury. It's it's atrip that you you you talk about this
idea of time because I always bringthat up, like once my babies came,
I was like, what was Ihold on? I was just saying
yes to everything, Like wait aminute, like they almost gave me Like
I feel like I had a backbonebefore. But it's like a whole new
backbone where you're like, Nope,can't do that, no kid, you
(09:01):
know what I mean. So Ithink you brought up a really good point
too, and something that we needto stress is, you know, you're
out doing all these things. You'rechasing your goals, you're trying to better
your community, but you're coming backto home and reinforcing home. Right,
you're nucleus. Um, You're you'regiving yourself a chance to rejuvenate. Because
that's also another big thing, right, is you gotta find time to care
(09:24):
for yourself so you can care foryour family. So I mean, what
are some things that you do tokind of center yourself and and say,
hey, look, I gotta Igotta, I gotta calendar in some self
care time. Um. Well,I mean I'm not listen a promo,
but there's a buddy in mind theFitness Collective that he did a lot of
great work during the pandemic. SoI would do an exercise, you know,
(09:46):
online and thanks to May he justprovided that for free. But now
that that I'm in person, Igo to a Petrero CrossFit. So I
got myself into CrossFit and news zeroabout how to really move my body pro
really yeah. But you know Iwas like, man, I'm getting that
dad, Bob. You know Igotta move, Yes, the same,
(10:09):
so let me throw myself out there. And it felt like I was learning
how to crawl, like yeah,And that was humbling to like not know
something at all, um, andthat's what's been keeping me, like saying
mentally and physically right to So mywife is like, if I'm taking care
(10:31):
of myself that way, then Ican take care of you, the baby
and the family and so on andso forth. So I stress health a
lot. I mean, no,one's got to be a crazy stress.
I mean a health freak, soto speak. But it's important to think
about, you know, what weeat, how we move, when we
do it because at the end ofthe day, I think, like baby's
(10:54):
gonna get older, it's going tobe more active, and I need to
try and keep up with that activelifestyle of her. And if we have
other children, So I want toplant that seat now so I'm better when
I'm fifty sixty. Yes, Ifeel like exercise for me now is more
mental than anything. Like I neededto stay sane. I needed to be
a good mom. I needed tobe a good employee, like you just
(11:16):
are a better person with it.Where before I would be like, oh
you didn't you want to lose weightor you want to get tone, But
now it's like if I don't exerciseor get that thirty minute walking every day,
like I'm everywhere, So I thinkit's so important. Like and it's
not like you said, you don'thave to be a fitness fanatic, but
like just getting that like that walking, some fresh air, moving your body,
(11:39):
there's so many benefits and for mementally, it's like important for sure,
for sure, And you were asn'tplaying you know, you said I'm
gonna go do CrossFit. CrossFit isno, it's not not in this fanatic
world. Now, I'm just saying, you know, sometimes I just dive
myself into situations with an open mindand an open heart. But yeah,
(12:05):
yeah it's scary, but sometimes Ijust do that. I get it from
my mom. Honestly. My momjust you know, immigrated here when she
was fifteen, um starting to workand just like plugged herself into situation where
maybe other people like I don't thinkhe'll be able to succeed and do well,
right, and she just did it. And she just retired a last
(12:26):
Friday from the high school district.Today she flew to Mexico. She's staying
there for seven months and just she'sgonna be taking care of my grandparents and
kind of reset her mind and pampherself for all the I want to I
want to do it shout out tomy mom. Yes, but I forgot
(12:48):
where I was going with it.But yeah, I just jumped into situations
and I try to figure them out. Yeah. Yeah, and one more
time for your mom my, Yeahno. And I mean that's such a
testament to like, you know,your kids really do pay attention to what
you're doing. You know, likeyou saw your mom always hustling and just
you know, being on top ofthings and being a go getter and not
(13:09):
being afraid of situations. I mean, I just says a lot to like
how we it. Really your parentingreally truly makes a child and you know
what I mean, Like it justmakes them right. Yeah, yeah,
whoa, this child of mine isgoing to be mirroring my words, my
(13:30):
approach, Like where do I start? Yeah, you know, you'll have
any words of a life. Youlearn a lot about yourself when you become
a parent. I have sure somuch, and things that my kids say
sometimes I'm like, oh, that'sme. I can't even get mad at
them. I have to like correctmy my own you know, approach to
(13:52):
things, and like not all negative, but I'm just saying, like positive
too. But you do become veryaware of yourself sure or sure. And
I'm not that much further ahead ofyou in this whole parenting game. But
the one thing I would say toyou for the years that I do have
under my belt is enjoy it all, even the tough parts, right,
(14:15):
Like I've had many sleepless nights I'vehad, you know, really tough,
you know, just past few years, right, but having two so close
together, But really, just enjoyit all, Like all the all the
tough stuff. It makes you stronger. You learn so much, not only
about your children, but about yourself, what you're able to handle, and
(14:37):
really just it creates these bonds withthese little people that you're like, I
thought I already loved you enough,like I love you even more today,
Like how is it even possible?And you thought you thought you knew love
before, right before you even hadthem, because you we all created these
people in love right in our relationshipsand when they come, you're like,
(14:58):
oh my god, like this isa whole I remember Drena actually having this
conversation with me. She was like, get ready for the love, and
I was like, what are youtalking? Like in my mind, I
was like I'm ready, Like howmuch we're ready? Can I get?
And then these people came, thesebabies, and I'm just like, whoa,
this is no idea. Yeah yeah, I think it's so cliche to
say, too, like, youknow, oh, enjoy it, you
(15:18):
know, enjoy them while they're young. It goes so fast. But I'm
like, I have a nine anda twelve year old now, and I
really am at that point now whereI'm like, oh my gosh, it's
gone, like that baby time isgone. Like we're enduring this whole new
this whole new place, you know, like having the bigger kids, and
it's really been an adjustment for me. I find myself like going back on
(15:39):
my phone and looking at videos andyou know, looking at these pictures and
feeling like time got away from meway too fast. So I know it
sounds so cliche, but like really, just like like Reina said, just
soak it all in and don't takeany any day or moment or anything,
just her little feet. Just touchit a little, give them a little
(16:00):
kiss. Because I looked at myson's foot the other day, I'm like,
who's feet of these? Yeah,I'll think all the cliches because they're
like they're so true. You know. I came in with a bunch of
cliches from folks and uh yeah,you know. The level of love is
it's something I'm still exploring. Um. But also the level of fear I
(16:25):
was in. I was accusted tothis fear before. UM. I was
telling my wife was just yeah,we got married, and I was like,
yeah, I would I would havefeared of losing my wife. And
then my daughter was worn and Iwas like, whoa, I really can't.
I can't die. Yeah that soundsso morbid, but I was like,
no, I cannot. Mom's headlike I have to get home today.
(16:48):
I have to make it home.Yeah. Yeah. And these are
thoughts that I never had before.I had told my wife this is kind
of like, this is new tome to think I can't pass away and
I gotta I want to make surethat I'm there for this gradual way and
then for this and these milestones,like wow, you know, it's it's
again humbling. It puts things inperspective like people and relationships everything. Yeah,
(17:17):
so I'm exploring all of that rightnow. The new father barely but
her birthdays on August fifteen, sothat's uh a few months, she'll be
one year old. So I'm goingthrough it. We're with you, so
don't feel like you're ever alone,that you're the only one having these thoughts.
And this is part of the role, right you have to make it
(17:37):
home Rodrigo like, and it's inthe best way possible. Right, Um,
But let's talk about baby girls rightquick. What are some new things
that she's doing. I mean we'vealready kind of heard of the new experiences
that you're going through. Anything newshe's doing. Oh, she's picking up
on the beach. Hey, it'sin her blood, that's my daughter.
She does a little side, littlelittle side like actually, guess we're playing
(18:03):
earth Wind and Fire and she wouldcatching the bee. I was like nice,
only nine months, so one ofthose first proud dad moments. And
it's it's just the beginning. They'rejust all gonna start coming all at once.
Just everything. I mean, theyjust they just like take off for
the few first few months and you'relike, Okay, you're just laying there
(18:25):
and you're just babbling this this,and then they just take off and you're
like, whoa, you could run, you could do this, you could
you could climb. Yeah, sowe're gonna we're gonna step up our baby
proof game pretty soon. Yeah.Like I almost think when you have that
feeling of like we should probably stepit up, you should just do it
right then and there, because Idistinctly remember being in the kitchen one day
(18:51):
washing, you know, cooking whatever, and I hear this sound. I'm
like, is that he was pushingmy son was pushing the chair across the
kit chin to get to use itto climb up. So you get on
the counter and I was like,oh my god. And I still get
just kind of I'm like, I'mgonna pretend like I don't see what's happening.
I want to see how far youget. And I'm like, oh
my, he really is about to. Like so just just know that they
(19:15):
are constantly taking in information and tryingto figure out what to do next.
So um, and this isn't tooscary. This is just people. That's
what we're trying to get a vacationand before she starts to walk, you
know, we can still just carryyou around. And yeah, because I
hear that. I hear the story. Finally in the airplane they to run
(19:36):
inside the airplane. I'm like,ahhere, I have a friend who she
told me. She was like,if the baby starts walking a little too
early, just push her down,just push your own I'm like what She's
like, No, it's too early, it's too soon. Just push your
bags down. I'm like, no, I can't do it, can't do
(19:56):
it. I think my his sondidn't walk to he was like fourteen months
and I was like, she gonnayou're just gonna sit there like yeah,
no desire. And now he's he'svery like he's got the same personality to
this day, like once he reallyhas to do it, I'm not gonna
(20:17):
do it. Yes, yes,so you might have some time on your
side, that's all. I'm thereason I'm telling me that, okay at
all that Yeah, lay on herstomach. She doesn't like to move around,
and but she likes to stand up, having someone help her stand up,
(20:38):
walking trekking, and she's like laughingand looking at the world like I'm
one of them, one of thosebig people. I'm great. Yeah,
she's gonna skip crawling walking and justgo straight to dancing. Perfect. There
you go, she'll be So howhas it been with you know, just
(21:00):
balancing all of this right, becauseyou gotta you know, I know,
we talked about coming home and makingsure home is good. But during the
day, like it gets it getshectic, right, talking, talking and
scheduling and scheduling we're learning, youknow, like we have the we have
the calendar now on our here onour fridge, you know, like rite
(21:22):
it all out. Who's doing what? When is when are we doing?
When are we gonna be out?When are we gonna be in doing things?
And then just talking about it.I think that that's been kind of
like the the best solution. It'sso simple, but it's hard sometimes too,
Like when everything's spinning, when dowe find my wife and I find
time to really sit down and talkabout things that are easy to be left
(21:45):
unset? Yeah, but then whenthey are on set, then like blow
up. But it's like the mostminuscule thing is like let's talk about what
is our toilet agenda? Who's gonnaget to It's so simple, just like
that way, it will like changethe whole day. Yeah. Yeah,
(22:07):
And so that's that's been that's beenthe way for us to go is bringing
everything up later in all out ohyeah, and having a partner that you
can actually communicate with, because sometimesyou say things and you think you're hearing
each other and it's like what whatwhat we're not hearing each other right now?
(22:29):
You got to stop down and actuallybreak in and break it down.
Can I talk about that? Youknow? Because that we've now you know,
new parents, We've had these conversationsand it always comes back down to
how we were raised m and howwe see view things because perspective of everything.
(22:51):
Yea. And even though we loveeach other, we're just two very
different people and different approaches to everything. So when we say one thing,
it gets translating and different way justbecause of how we are brought up,
And so it ends up like thatat the end, it's that onion that
we peel and we're like, oh, I think I think this way because
of X, Y and Z,and she's like I think this way and
(23:11):
it's like, oh, okay,got it, got it differently. I'll
say it differently because of that.Yeah, And that's why you guys are
gonna last because you know, you'reyou're taking the time to learn each other's
language and then figuring out how toadjust so that you can each understand each
other. And it takes that levelof like I actually love this person,
(23:33):
I want to be in their life, and I'm gonna make the effort to
to to speak the same language,right, And you guys are kind of
creating your own language where you're like, hold up, wait a minute,
this is you know, because otherpeople would just be like mmmm. And
then you flash forward to five yearslater and you guys have not been talking
to each other this entire time,and it's it's not it's not unseen like
(23:56):
this is this is happening as wespeak, right that the relationships who you
know, quote unquote our functioning andor not function you know what I mean.
And it really just boils down tothat one conversation of like take that
time. Are you getting told papertoday or am I getting told paper today?
Like yeah, I was raised,I was raised. We just ordered
(24:17):
in both okay or right right?Right? No, it's and it's it's
it's funny and where it is laughable, right, But these are like you
said, they're real little things thatcan make make or break your whole day.
If I'm in if I'm in thebathroom yelling, there's nobody there to
(24:38):
help out, I'm angry for therest of the week. Get you like
all day. Hello, Hello,Well, I'm so excited that you're able
to take the time to join ustoday and really just kind of talk about
this new space you're in. I'mexcited because your first Father's Day is coming
yes y yearly Father's Day, andwe just you know, we're gonna stay
(25:03):
in touch and just find out whatyou got going on with the Human Rights
Commission and get ready for year fortysix of kind of a will I mean,
I know it happens, the bigevent happens one time a year,
but you guys do throw things allthroughout the year. So we'll definitely stay
in touch, and as we bringmore dads on, I'm sure we'll have
you back on at some point.Well, don't forget. You know,
there's a lot of June teen celebrations, a lot of pride celebrating that just
(25:29):
go out, go at the HRCwebsite or Instagram and then go to pride,
you know, support this is allfan Francisco. There's a lot of
dads with a lot of moms involved, you know, go out and have
fun celebrating. Yeah, we'll makesure to put those um Instagram and UM
and the website then links on onpodcast. I'm just happy that Juneteenth is
(25:52):
a real thing, that people areactually getting some time to be with the
family. So yes, it isa pleasure having you on. Yeah,
thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, thank you late right
This Vava got Drama back for anotherepisode. First off, we haven't done
this a while. Can we justgive a round of applausecause we made it?
Hey, it's always half the battle. Yes, yes, we made
it. Lady Ram, your hostsour other host is the beautiful, the
wonderful Drena Gonzalez. How are youfeeling this morning? I'm good, A
little tired this Monday case in theMondays, but I'm good. Wow.
(00:21):
My hair should tell you right now. I'm the closed I can't see it.
I'm like, I just bounced up, like let's go. And of
course we got the amazing Rodrigo Duran, who actually has a hat on if
you can't see him. He's like, look, we throw the heat on
it and we keep it moving.Yeah, okay, how are you feeling?
Blast little stress but happy to behere. We were just talking about
(00:41):
that off camera off Mike, howlike as you become a new pairent,
you start to do that one emojiface that's like, Ike, I remember
when my babies first came. Iremember having like almost like a little bit
of pain right around my bottom liparea because I would be biting my lip
like I want to just so youalready, Dad, I am a new
(01:03):
dad. I'm so it's like theprobably the one of the most proudest moments
was when I became a father,so you know, and and you know,
Father's Day is coming up soon andit's gonna be my very first.
So there's a lot of first andthere's a lot of emotions behind all of
it, but ninety nine point nineof them are positive. You already got
(01:25):
first through the first like pressure momentof your wife's first Mother's Day, right
like you already, So you're like, now the pressure's on you, bo,
what are we doing for Father's Day? You know our standards and Dad
like, let's just keep it simple. Let's just have a good time.
Let's eat some good food, youknow. And I like to keep it
that way. You know. Thewife, he can do what she wants
(01:47):
because she deserves all of that.My lord. You know, as as
a new father, I realized everythingthat mothers go through and more, and
so I'm just here to support.Just just give me some food and I'm
happy. I like all of that. And this is really cool for us,
you know, as moms, workingmoms, radio moms, you know,
and have this podcast and have aspace for us to really create some
(02:07):
some conversation, right for working moms. And this is our first time having
dad's on, So you're one ofour first dad's on. Yeahs out there.
Yeah, we're doing it just foryou guys for Father's Day months,
So happy early first Father's Day.That was a tough twister right there.
Yeah. I mean, well,let's let's talk about the stuff that you
(02:27):
do away from baby though, becauseyou do a lot. Like you're just
coming off of the biggest celebration inSan Francisco, right, which is kind
an Avoile celebrating forty five years whatincredible, Yeah, you know, and
I tell everyone like I'm a partof all Baby yeah, talking about parenthood,
motherhood, fatherhood, Like my momand my dad were on, Well,
(02:47):
my mom was gonna float thirty plusyears ago, a part of all
in Astic Dance regalia. My dadwas dancing because you know he could dance,
of course, And thirty plus yearslater, like I'm the executive director
of Carnival, and I have likethe pleasure and honor really to continue that
tradition for other parents, for otherchildren, for other youth. So it
(03:09):
feels like full circle right now.And we just celebrate a wonderful forty event.
Are your parents so excited, Like, I mean, they have to
be so proud. They pull outall the folks like remember this carnival Like
look at and I'm like, yes, yes, and I remember, they're
really exac They're really happy that one. You know, it stays in the
(03:31):
family, the community, and itstays in our city, you know,
because it's the city event, um, and it brings out the best of
what San Francisco and the Bear hasto offer to the world. And that's
what's cool about it too, islike you said, it's it's a family
event, right, Like you'll seefull families out there, dancing, having
a good time, feeling safe tojust you know, um, soak up
(03:53):
all the culture and just be apart of it. Now you get to
create these new memories with your babyexactly. So. Yes, the last
year my wife was pregnant, shewas going on the float. She was
at the grandstand area, but youknow, being president being taking photos there,
Like I know, it's gonna meana lot as we get older,
(04:13):
as the baby grows. And thenthis year it was her first year,
my baby the Lord of Stats,and she was at the grandstand and we're
like, man, we're nervous,Like would she be okay with the sound
of music? That's all. Shedidn't want to know about anyone. She's
like, I'm looking at that dancerright there, and I was like,
there you go, that's right,she's the parade I love. Kay.
(04:34):
Yeah, get ready for all thosemoments where you're like, yeah, that's
my baby. Like there's little thingsthat they do. You're like, yep,
that's mine. Yeah. And thenand then you got some exciting,
like you know, new stuff that'shappening with the San Francisco Human Rights Commission
talked to us about that. Yeah, you know, um, it really
(04:55):
took the my family and my communityto like lift me up and put me
where I am. On this pastMonday, I was sworn in as a
new commissioner to the Human Rights Commission. Uh and for me, it's going
back to these full circle moments.I'm born, raised here, I want
(05:15):
I've been wanting to serve my cityat a larger capacity. With Carnival,
I serve family, the artists worldin San Francisco a mission more specifically,
but now as a Human Rights Commissioner, UM, I can see myself you
know, sharing more love. That'swhat I said in my speech, Like
I've been privileged to be to havebeen given a lot of love for my
(05:36):
parents and to have been taught howto love and to multiply it. And
and with that in mind, Ifeel like the city needs to you know,
and I'm just really humbled and excitedto be in this position where you
know, we can support the blackcommunity, you know that that needs a
lot of UH justice resources, theNative American community, Latin that API and
(06:00):
so on and so forth. Iwant to be there to make sure that
people's human rights are heard and thatthey feel safe in this wonderful city of
Sancisco. That's a lot, man. I we appreciate the fact that you're
you know, you take it toheart and you actually, you know,
you bring the heart to it becauseit really means that right, Like it's
not there's not always just one answerto every issue that comes up, and
(06:25):
you have to kind of lead withyour heart, lead with your compassion and
the fact that you you know,born and raise in SFC, like that's
it takes that to to be ableto answer this call. So man,
salute to you, and yeah,I was gonna say around him applause to
be honestly, like, I mean, having having the passion and the heart,
like she said, is the mostimportant thing. And I think to
(06:46):
me that speaks volumes of how you'regoing to be able to just handle the
situation and just be a boss fora lack of better words, you know,
and just really thrive in the position. So yeah, you know,
like if a lot of ours anda lot of our traditions and whether it's
part of all Native American and evenlike African traditions, it's about the next
(07:08):
seven generations, right, So ifI can be put a little grain of
sand to create that road, topave it so that the next seven generations
can do better, I mean that'spretty fulfilling for me. And I'm thinking
one generation and being my daughter rightright, and how do I support her
so then she can continue supporting forward. That's what crossed my mind. But
(07:32):
I also I am very aware oftime, you know, the time that
I have and that I need tospend with my family. All these thoughts,
you know, as a new fathercome to mind because like you say,
lady, like Ray, I'm I'mI'm stretched in a lot of different
fields in San Francisco. But luckilyI have my wife who really keeps me
(07:53):
grounded and who just helped me refocus, like what's really important at the end
of the day of that nucleus cominghome and ensuring that that we're doing.
I yeah, because it's like yousaid, like it's it's not only having
a lot on your plate, butit's it's already a benefit to already to
(08:16):
have that mindset to think seven generationsahead, right, because you think of
families that are just trying to surviveday to day, month to month,
right, So so you you're alreadyin a really great place that you can
even have that foresight, in thatvision to start thinking of generations ahead,
because let's be real, like acouple of generations behind us they didn't really
have that luxury, or even thegeneration behind us, our parents didn't always
(08:39):
have that luxury. It's it's atrip that you you you talk about this
idea of time because I always bringthat up, like once my babies came,
I was like, what was Ihold on? I was just saying
yes to everything, Like wait aminute, like they almost gave me Like
I feel like I had a backbonebefore. But it's like a whole new
backbone where you're like, Nope,can't do that, no kid, you
(09:01):
know what I mean. So Ithink you brought up a really good point
too, and something that we needto stress is, you know, you're
out doing all these things. You'rechasing your goals, you're trying to better
your community, but you're coming backto home and reinforcing home. Right,
you're nucleus. Um, You're you'regiving yourself a chance to rejuvenate. Because
that's also another big thing, right, is you gotta find time to care
(09:24):
for yourself so you can care foryour family. So I mean, what
are some things that you do tokind of center yourself and and say,
hey, look, I gotta Igotta, I gotta calendar in some self
care time. Um. Well,I mean I'm not listen a promo,
but there's a buddy in mind theFitness Collective that he did a lot of
great work during the pandemic. SoI would do an exercise, you know,
(09:46):
online and thanks to May he justprovided that for free. But now
that that I'm in person, Igo to a Petrero CrossFit. So I
got myself into CrossFit and news zeroabout how to really move my body pro
really yeah. But you know Iwas like, man, I'm getting that
dad, Bob. You know Igotta move, Yes, the same,
(10:09):
so let me throw myself out there. And it felt like I was learning
how to crawl, like yeah,And that was humbling to like not know
something at all, um, andthat's what's been keeping me, like saying
mentally and physically right to So mywife is like, if I'm taking care
(10:31):
of myself that way, then Ican take care of you, the baby
and the family and so on andso forth. So I stress health a
lot. I mean, no,one's got to be a crazy stress.
I mean a health freak, soto speak. But it's important to think
about, you know, what weeat, how we move, when we
do it because at the end ofthe day, I think, like baby's
(10:54):
gonna get older, it's going tobe more active, and I need to
try and keep up with that activelifestyle of her. And if we have
other children, So I want toplant that seat now so I'm better when
I'm fifty sixty. Yes, Ifeel like exercise for me now is more
mental than anything. Like I neededto stay sane. I needed to be
a good mom. I needed tobe a good employee, like you just
(11:16):
are a better person with it.Where before I would be like, oh
you didn't you want to lose weightor you want to get tone, But
now it's like if I don't exerciseor get that thirty minute walking every day,
like I'm everywhere, So I thinkit's so important. Like and it's
not like you said, you don'thave to be a fitness fanatic, but
like just getting that like that walking, some fresh air, moving your body,
(11:39):
there's so many benefits and for mementally, it's like important for sure,
for sure, And you were asn'tplaying you know, you said I'm
gonna go do CrossFit. CrossFit isno, it's not not in this fanatic
world. Now, I'm just saying, you know, sometimes I just dive
myself into situations with an open mindand an open heart. But yeah,
(12:05):
yeah it's scary, but sometimes Ijust do that. I get it from
my mom. Honestly. My momjust you know, immigrated here when she
was fifteen, um starting to workand just like plugged herself into situation where
maybe other people like I don't thinkhe'll be able to succeed and do well,
right, and she just did it. And she just retired a last
(12:26):
Friday from the high school district.Today she flew to Mexico. She's staying
there for seven months and just she'sgonna be taking care of my grandparents and
kind of reset her mind and pampherself for all the I want to I
want to do it shout out tomy mom. Yes, but I forgot
(12:48):
where I was going with it.But yeah, I just jumped into situations
and I try to figure them out. Yeah. Yeah, and one more
time for your mom my, Yeahno. And I mean that's such a
testament to like, you know,your kids really do pay attention to what
you're doing. You know, likeyou saw your mom always hustling and just
you know, being on top ofthings and being a go getter and not
(13:09):
being afraid of situations. I mean, I just says a lot to like
how we it. Really your parentingreally truly makes a child and you know
what I mean, Like it justmakes them right. Yeah, yeah,
whoa, this child of mine isgoing to be mirroring my words, my
(13:30):
approach, Like where do I start? Yeah, you know, you'll have
any words of a life. Youlearn a lot about yourself when you become
a parent. I have sure somuch, and things that my kids say
sometimes I'm like, oh, that'sme. I can't even get mad at
them. I have to like correctmy my own you know, approach to
(13:52):
things, and like not all negative, but I'm just saying, like positive
too. But you do become veryaware of yourself sure or sure. And
I'm not that much further ahead ofyou in this whole parenting game. But
the one thing I would say toyou for the years that I do have
under my belt is enjoy it all, even the tough parts, right,
(14:15):
Like I've had many sleepless nights I'vehad, you know, really tough,
you know, just past few years, right, but having two so close
together, But really, just enjoyit all, Like all the all the
tough stuff. It makes you stronger. You learn so much, not only
about your children, but about yourself, what you're able to handle, and
(14:37):
really just it creates these bonds withthese little people that you're like, I
thought I already loved you enough,like I love you even more today,
Like how is it even possible?And you thought you thought you knew love
before, right before you even hadthem, because you we all created these
people in love right in our relationshipsand when they come, you're like,
(14:58):
oh my god, like this isa whole I remember Drena actually having this
conversation with me. She was like, get ready for the love, and
I was like, what are youtalking? Like in my mind, I
was like I'm ready, Like howmuch we're ready? Can I get?
And then these people came, thesebabies, and I'm just like, whoa,
this is no idea. Yeah yeah, I think it's so cliche to
say, too, like, youknow, oh, enjoy it, you
(15:18):
know, enjoy them while they're young. It goes so fast. But I'm
like, I have a nine anda twelve year old now, and I
really am at that point now whereI'm like, oh my gosh, it's
gone, like that baby time isgone. Like we're enduring this whole new
this whole new place, you know, like having the bigger kids, and
it's really been an adjustment for me. I find myself like going back on
(15:39):
my phone and looking at videos andyou know, looking at these pictures and
feeling like time got away from meway too fast. So I know it
sounds so cliche, but like really, just like like Reina said, just
soak it all in and don't takeany any day or moment or anything,
just her little feet. Just touchit a little, give them a little
(16:00):
kiss. Because I looked at myson's foot the other day, I'm like,
who's feet of these? Yeah,I'll think all the cliches because they're
like they're so true. You know. I came in with a bunch of
cliches from folks and uh yeah,you know. The level of love is
it's something I'm still exploring. Um. But also the level of fear I
(16:25):
was in. I was accusted tothis fear before. UM. I was
telling my wife was just yeah,we got married, and I was like,
yeah, I would I would havefeared of losing my wife. And
then my daughter was worn and Iwas like, whoa, I really can't.
I can't die. Yeah that soundsso morbid, but I was like,
no, I cannot. Mom's headlike I have to get home today.
(16:48):
I have to make it home.Yeah. Yeah. And these are
thoughts that I never had before.I had told my wife this is kind
of like, this is new tome to think I can't pass away and
I gotta I want to make surethat I'm there for this gradual way and
then for this and these milestones,like wow, you know, it's it's
again humbling. It puts things inperspective like people and relationships everything. Yeah,
(17:17):
so I'm exploring all of that rightnow. The new father barely but
her birthdays on August fifteen, sothat's uh a few months, she'll be
one year old. So I'm goingthrough it. We're with you, so
don't feel like you're ever alone,that you're the only one having these thoughts.
And this is part of the role, right you have to make it
(17:37):
home Rodrigo like, and it's inthe best way possible. Right, Um,
But let's talk about baby girls rightquick. What are some new things
that she's doing. I mean we'vealready kind of heard of the new experiences
that you're going through. Anything newshe's doing. Oh, she's picking up
on the beach. Hey, it'sin her blood, that's my daughter.
She does a little side, littlelittle side like actually, guess we're playing
(18:03):
earth Wind and Fire and she wouldcatching the bee. I was like nice,
only nine months, so one ofthose first proud dad moments. And
it's it's just the beginning. They'rejust all gonna start coming all at once.
Just everything. I mean, theyjust they just like take off for
the few first few months and you'relike, Okay, you're just laying there
(18:25):
and you're just babbling this this,and then they just take off and you're
like, whoa, you could run, you could do this, you could
you could climb. Yeah, sowe're gonna we're gonna step up our baby
proof game pretty soon. Yeah.Like I almost think when you have that
feeling of like we should probably stepit up, you should just do it
right then and there, because Idistinctly remember being in the kitchen one day
(18:51):
washing, you know, cooking whatever, and I hear this sound. I'm
like, is that he was pushingmy son was pushing the chair across the
kit chin to get to use itto climb up. So you get on
the counter and I was like,oh my god. And I still get
just kind of I'm like, I'mgonna pretend like I don't see what's happening.
I want to see how far youget. And I'm like, oh
my, he really is about to. Like so just just know that they
(19:15):
are constantly taking in information and tryingto figure out what to do next.
So um, and this isn't tooscary. This is just people. That's
what we're trying to get a vacationand before she starts to walk, you
know, we can still just carryyou around. And yeah, because I
hear that. I hear the story. Finally in the airplane they to run
(19:36):
inside the airplane. I'm like,ahhere, I have a friend who she
told me. She was like,if the baby starts walking a little too
early, just push her down,just push your own I'm like what She's
like, No, it's too early, it's too soon. Just push your
bags down. I'm like, no, I can't do it, can't do
(19:56):
it. I think my his sondidn't walk to he was like fourteen months
and I was like, she gonnayou're just gonna sit there like yeah,
no desire. And now he's he'svery like he's got the same personality to
this day, like once he reallyhas to do it, I'm not gonna
(20:17):
do it. Yes, yes,so you might have some time on your
side, that's all. I'm thereason I'm telling me that, okay at
all that Yeah, lay on herstomach. She doesn't like to move around,
and but she likes to stand up, having someone help her stand up,
(20:38):
walking trekking, and she's like laughingand looking at the world like I'm
one of them, one of thosebig people. I'm great. Yeah,
she's gonna skip crawling walking and justgo straight to dancing. Perfect. There
you go, she'll be So howhas it been with you know, just
(21:00):
balancing all of this right, becauseyou gotta you know, I know,
we talked about coming home and makingsure home is good. But during the
day, like it gets it getshectic, right, talking, talking and
scheduling and scheduling we're learning, youknow, like we have the we have
the calendar now on our here onour fridge, you know, like rite
(21:22):
it all out. Who's doing what? When is when are we doing?
When are we gonna be out?When are we gonna be in doing things?
And then just talking about it.I think that that's been kind of
like the the best solution. It'sso simple, but it's hard sometimes too,
Like when everything's spinning, when dowe find my wife and I find
time to really sit down and talkabout things that are easy to be left
(21:45):
unset? Yeah, but then whenthey are on set, then like blow
up. But it's like the mostminuscule thing is like let's talk about what
is our toilet agenda? Who's gonnaget to It's so simple, just like
that way, it will like changethe whole day. Yeah. Yeah,
(22:07):
And so that's that's been that's beenthe way for us to go is bringing
everything up later in all out ohyeah, and having a partner that you
can actually communicate with, because sometimesyou say things and you think you're hearing
each other and it's like what whatwhat we're not hearing each other right now?
(22:29):
You got to stop down and actuallybreak in and break it down.
Can I talk about that? Youknow? Because that we've now you know,
new parents, We've had these conversationsand it always comes back down to
how we were raised m and howwe see view things because perspective of everything.
(22:51):
Yea. And even though we loveeach other, we're just two very
different people and different approaches to everything. So when we say one thing,
it gets translating and different way justbecause of how we are brought up,
And so it ends up like thatat the end, it's that onion that
we peel and we're like, oh, I think I think this way because
of X, Y and Z,and she's like I think this way and
(23:11):
it's like, oh, okay,got it, got it differently. I'll
say it differently because of that.Yeah, And that's why you guys are
gonna last because you know, you'reyou're taking the time to learn each other's
language and then figuring out how toadjust so that you can each understand each
other. And it takes that levelof like I actually love this person,
(23:33):
I want to be in their life, and I'm gonna make the effort to
to to speak the same language,right, And you guys are kind of
creating your own language where you're like, hold up, wait a minute,
this is you know, because otherpeople would just be like mmmm. And
then you flash forward to five yearslater and you guys have not been talking
to each other this entire time,and it's it's not it's not unseen like
(23:56):
this is this is happening as wespeak, right that the relationships who you
know, quote unquote our functioning andor not function you know what I mean.
And it really just boils down tothat one conversation of like take that
time. Are you getting told papertoday or am I getting told paper today?
Like yeah, I was raised,I was raised. We just ordered
(24:17):
in both okay or right right?Right? No, it's and it's it's
it's funny and where it is laughable, right, But these are like you
said, they're real little things thatcan make make or break your whole day.
If I'm in if I'm in thebathroom yelling, there's nobody there to
(24:38):
help out, I'm angry for therest of the week. Get you like
all day. Hello, Hello,Well, I'm so excited that you're able
to take the time to join ustoday and really just kind of talk about
this new space you're in. I'mexcited because your first Father's Day is coming
yes y yearly Father's Day, andwe just you know, we're gonna stay
(25:03):
in touch and just find out whatyou got going on with the Human Rights
Commission and get ready for year fortysix of kind of a will I mean,
I know it happens, the bigevent happens one time a year,
but you guys do throw things allthroughout the year. So we'll definitely stay
in touch, and as we bringmore dads on, I'm sure we'll have
you back on at some point.Well, don't forget. You know,
there's a lot of June teen celebrations, a lot of pride celebrating that just
(25:29):
go out, go at the HRCwebsite or Instagram and then go to pride,
you know, support this is allfan Francisco. There's a lot of
dads with a lot of moms involved, you know, go out and have
fun celebrating. Yeah, we'll makesure to put those um Instagram and UM
and the website then links on onpodcast. I'm just happy that Juneteenth is
(25:52):
a real thing, that people areactually getting some time to be with the
family. So yes, it isa pleasure having you on. Yeah,
thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, thank you late right
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!