A Broomfield Man was pulled into a Wood chipper when his Ankle Monitor got caught.

A Broomfield Man was pulled into a Wood chipper when his Ankle Monitor got caught.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
One o seven nine kbp I and your show time
for stupid stories. Stalt y'all all, stop stupid stories brought to.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
You by stealing Steel Dealers dot Com.

Speaker 1 (00:12):
All right, So, a woman in England says she's knocked
unconscious when a cauliflower fell on her head at a store. Cauliflower,
A big ass cauliflowers he knocked unconscious. Look, I'm just
saying a donut would never do that to y'all, Just wouldn't.

(00:32):
A source says Diddy is getting no special treatment in prison.
You know what that means?

Speaker 2 (00:37):
What's that mean?

Speaker 3 (00:38):
That means he got a trades cigarettes for baby old
like everybody else. Uh, big news yesterday.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Taylor Swift now worth one point six billion dollars. Taylor
Swift worth one point six billion dollars. Can you imagine
how much cat food that is?

Speaker 3 (00:56):
Man?

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Uh? The New Joker movie had a two million dollar budget.
It made thirty eight million dollars on his opening weekend.
Ah epic fail. See Lebron James and the son Browny
made history when they shared the court during the Lakers
preseason game the other day, The record worst case of

(01:19):
nepotism ever.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
All right, what do you know about Ben Affleck.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Let's see here, he's recently divorced.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yes he's Batman. He's Batman. Yes, he's the accountant. And
he's also a fan of electric vehicles. Oh really until
the other day. Ben Affleck his electric Ford Bronco. It
ran out of juice on the freaking freeway the other
day in La and poparazzi was there to get it.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
He hates the.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Paparazzi even more when he got ask the paparazzi to
give you a ride somewhere.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Electric vehicles.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
You imagine, be a bit Affleck and your electric Bronco
out of juice on the highway like good.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
And you know you have to make a deal with
that paparazzi, like yeah, I'll give you exclusive right.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
Oh what a pain in the ass.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Hopefully he's at least buddies with water.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Christ the Kreame is gonna they're gonna do Ghostbusters donuts
for Halloween.

Speaker 3 (02:30):
Okay, that's kind of cool. Uh this kind of wild.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
It isn't surprising that some seventies designs and trends are
coming back and then wild how they come back around again.
I mean, I guess we did the same thing he
grew up. But it's wild man. But the trans definitely
coming back. In new report says the hideous stuff is
also coming back, like the bright color pattern bathroom designs.

(02:56):
For whatever reason, that's that's a look people are going
on for nowadays.

Speaker 3 (03:01):
That was a got off look.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
I don't know if they ever stopped. But Walmart's sewing
lava lamps again.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
I hope it didn't stop. I've had mine forever. I
just now.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
Hey, I will tell you it's hard to find Appliants
bulbs anymore to make a lava lamp work.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
Oh, I bet you can't get him at Walmart.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
Walmart only sells LED's, so if you want an Appliant's bulb,
you gotta go to home Depot. Now. Then the incandescent
bulbs that generate heat, those are the only ones.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
You can get.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
I just because the reason why I haven't had one,
I've been not able to find one for like months,
and I finally was in home Depot the other day.
It's like, oh, I gotta see if they got like
Appliant bulbs, and sure enough they had some. They haven't
made those in LED yet. They have, but they haven't
discontinued the incandescent.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
I was gonna say, the led probably doesn't get hot
enough to make it ball, does that's at all? Bob
at the bottom with light shining up at Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
You got nothing. Nothing sucks. So yeah, man, I picked
up four of them.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
See your lava lamp will never die.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah. I'm like, no, I'm gonna have it. I'm gonna
have enough to handle it.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
But yeah, man, it's crazy. Uh, let's see kind of
an interesting strategy here. Six year old manx crea. He's
been cleared of a DUI. And the reason he got
clear is because when he was stopped, when he was
pulled over, he got out of the car, opened and
down the bottle of liquor right there for the cops,

(04:25):
so police.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
Weren't able to prove his blood.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
I got content was when he was driving, not after
he got out of the car.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
You know what I'm saying, Wow, we've we've heard that
urban legend that you can do it. I've never heard
of somebody actually doing it. But there was always that
thing of like, yeah, they can't get an accurate reading
on you, and there's no evidence of your.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
If you did that here, you'd be going straight jail.
So I wouldn't try that, but still an interesting way
to get out of it. Yeah, just get out of.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
The car if you started in a bottle whiskey rough.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
It's more logical than some of those, like put a
penny under your tongue.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yeah right, just tell him you plead the fifth don't.
Don't agree to nothing. I'm not doing anything.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
I want my lawyer.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
A long time Toronto police officer, there has been arrest
in charge for stealing alcohol from a store. I guess
he just walked in the store, grabs three bottles of
alcohol and walked out without even making an attempt to pay.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
Oh wow, hey, you can't do that. And he's a
police officer.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, I thought that was kind of funny.

Speaker 3 (05:39):
So let's see.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
It looks like longevity has hit a wall. Experts say
today's children unlikely to live to be a hundred.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Oh really?

Speaker 3 (05:52):
Yeah, it's wow. It's the first time.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
In probably history that our generation doesn't standard for living
has gone down, isn't it crazy?

Speaker 3 (06:03):
Wild?

Speaker 2 (06:04):
All right?

Speaker 3 (06:05):
Camping gone bad?

Speaker 1 (06:06):
There's a video out there's Amazon dude is he's a conservationist.
His name is Paul Rosalie. He shared a video as
to how bad it is camping in Amazon. So he's
got these leaf cutter ants that just totally tear his
tent apart, and one night they cut it all the
way down.

Speaker 3 (06:25):
It's raining. What's left of his.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
Tent is full of like Trantula's big ass huge worm crawling,
you know, centipedes and all this stuffen.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
It is awful and he's like.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
I can't I can't deal with it. I can't sleep.
It's what nightmares are made out of.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
I mean, it's bad. Yeah, it's so bad.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
He said. It was four hours until the sun's coming up.
He's like, I don't know if I can make it.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
Yeah, he's like, I'm sleeping a couple of seconds at
a time, and then a couple seconds at a time,
and then a couple more.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
He's like, there's leaf cutter ant. He said.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
The leaf cutter ant tried to pitch his ear lobe off, damn.
And it was not like you can just get out
and like, you know, step on a bunch of them.
Because when he showed the light, he shined the light,
there were millions of him. Man, it wasn't l like
he was like, you know, all there's four leaf cutter ants, No,
there are millions of them all over his tent and
just cutting down the shreds.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
Too funny.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
So this is kind of a funny story because this
man who fired several shots at police before hiding in
a septic tank has just received eight years in prison.
His name was Sheldon Badger. The story out of the
UK so kind of reads a little weird. He was
in court in relation to the events that occurred on
April tenth, twenty twenty four. Police gave chase and while

(07:50):
standing at the edge of a tree lion Badger pointed
a saw off shotgun at him and fired.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
At one of the officers. That's funny, uh, this The
story reads like this.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
The police officer heard the accus say either expletive you
or expletive.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
You guys it was one of those two.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, then immediately fired the gun at the police officer.
An agreed statement of facts explained blah blah blah. So anyway, Badger,
this guy's name, was later found hiding in a septic tank,
and upon emptying the septic tank, officers found and recovered
his sawed off shotgun.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Moron, Oh so they had to drain it. Now everything evidence.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Uh huh, last place I would to hide a septic tank?

Speaker 2 (08:43):
Sounds like a rookie duty.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
So talk about bad luck this guy. This is a
local story a cat named John O'Neill. If you guys
know John O'Neill, he should call us. He's a Broomfield resident.
He just made out a rehab. He was in stable housing.
He was sober. They finally landed a job that he
loved doing tree work. Oh okay, all right, so there

(09:07):
you go. You got the premise, right, you got the
base of the story.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
Get a work outside.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Fifteen minutes into his very first day at work, first
day at work.

Speaker 3 (09:17):
First day at work.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Fifteen minutes into the job, the thirty three year old
found himself fighting for his life. So apparently, wow, this sucks.
He uh, apparently he was gripping the edge of the
wood chipper as blades ripped through his boots, feet and legs.

(09:40):
Oh yeah, you're going to read he just put a
fish hooked shaped branch into the clipper. When the blades
flipped the hook of the branch around and the wood
got wedged under his core ordered ankle. Monitor Oh and

(10:05):
he started dragging him towards the wood chipper. You, yes,
you can imagine. It's like hook to an ankle monitor.
He said, something happened to my brain where I realized
I was in fear for a lot more than just
losing my leg or my foot. In that moment, O'Neil

(10:26):
dove up and grabbed the edge of the wood chipper
and held on for dear life.

Speaker 3 (10:32):
He said. Blades made clean.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
Cuts through his boots and his feet and up both
legs over the knee.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
Over the knee, and he's just hanging on to keep
the rest of them going in huh.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
He said.

Speaker 1 (10:45):
He was yelling. He was yelling for help, but everybody
had on ear protection. O'Neill said it took a minute
before coworkers realized what was happening, so he tried to
slow his breathing, slow his heart.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
Ultimately, by some more.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Time, however, he began to lose consciousness, and he knew
his colleagues try to keep him awake. Basically, he made
it to the hospital. He's gonna get prosthetics. O'Neil declined
to name the company he worked for whether or not
he plans to sue. Trust Me planns the suing O'Neill
did criticize the design of the ankle monitors.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
And said he quote firmly believes.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
That if it we didn't have an ankle monitor on,
he would have been able to get free from the branch.
That definitely raises some questions, right, put fifteen minutes d
it into your first day on the job.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
Oh but should you be able to take your ankle
monitor off?

Speaker 3 (11:51):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
Should He probably had a little bit more prep time
and understanding where to load branches, to hiw to load branches.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Maybe a little more supervision on your first day.

Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yeah, I mean, because it.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
Took him a minute or two before they realized he
was in the chipper.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
If it's a dude's first day on the job, what's
the easiest thing here? Man shoved this wood in this
chipper and stay clear from it. Fifteen minutes later.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
He's all like a.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
Damn all right. Twenty two year old women in Florida
named Ricky Holly.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
She flew into a rage when Dominoes delivered a pizza
that she said was cold and uncut. She allegedly drove
from her home to the Dominoes restaurant, argued with an employee,
and then threw the pizza, and it says it damaged
the store's phone. And that piece's damages the store's phone.

(12:44):
What's it doing in your gut?

Speaker 2 (12:46):
How cold was it?

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Somehow using that phone or another one? Somebody called the cops.
The cops came and arrested her for criminal mischief and.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
It looks like she spent the night in jail before
being released.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
You imagine you're going to bitch about a cold pizza
and you would have spent a night in jail.

Speaker 3 (13:04):
All epic bail.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
She was ordered not to have contact with that Domino's location,
but she is not prevented from ordering pizza from another
establishment they banned from ordering.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
This woman is no longer allowed to order pizza anywhere.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
Oh, it's a crazy pizza lady. It's been blacklisted.

Speaker 1 (13:27):
That's too funny, all right, this is kind of wild.
This Thurston County Sheriff Thurston County is in Washington, Washington State.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
He's a sheriff.

Speaker 1 (13:36):
He's walking around with a limp after a drunk driver
struck his patrol car. To God, he says it's more
evidence of what he sees as an epidemic of dangerous
driving on the state's roads. The reason He says this
because eighteen months ago, Sanders was struck by a different
drunk driver, and this time he was knocked unconscious and

(13:58):
welcome to the hospital bed at the medical center. Oh,
this dude parks in some random, randomly bad spots. So
two times inside two years, his patrol car was hit
by a drunk driver.

Speaker 2 (14:12):
Damn wow, I'd expect that out of like Wisconsin or
one of the heavy drinking states. But Washington.

Speaker 1 (14:21):
Yeah, he said, he couldn't make this story up. The
woman hit him so hard, the whole bumper in front
end of her car was falling off.

Speaker 3 (14:27):
And she was dragging it. She just kept on driving crazy.
It's like he just in his patrol car.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
And then twice inside two years, he gets t boned
by a drunk driver.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
Man, that is some rotten.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
Look.

Speaker 3 (14:43):
You gotta admit, I've been driving.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
For I don't know, I had thirty forty years and
i'ven't been hit by a drunk driver once, or at
least not t boned.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
You know, he got bad luck, all right. And then
lastly two men were found. You guys know what kinder
eggs are.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
They're a little bit so that I got a little
I think they're like a chocolate egg, but they come
aside of a little plastic egg.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
Oh okay, so they're not just the They usually have
toys and stuff in.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Them, right right, right, Well, those kinder eggs apparently they're uh, well,
they're easily inserted. A guy named Marshall Maddock and his
buddy Harry Hitson. He wouldson, yeah, anyway, sure, I nailed that.
They were going through this thing called Creamfields with this

(15:35):
big ed show and apparently when it was about to
enter the north gate of the festival, and then a
drug dog indicated to the cops that one of the
guys had illegal drugs on them. Now, this is a
drug dog smelling drugs on this dude. And here's what happened.

(15:58):
When both were taken to an area to be searched
by officers, maddic handed over small quantity of drugs, but refused.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
To be searched further. Well, when you refuse to be
searched further, what happens?

Speaker 2 (16:11):
M Usually they search you further.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, and the story goes he refused to be searched further.
Because of his refusal, an intimate search was conducted. Oh oh,
you're refusing, Well, that means we gotta go deep. And
sure enough, officers found a kinderreg containing ten ten bags
of ketamine in his anus.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
Oh so yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
And then his buddy, Hughiston, also refused to be searched.
These guys haven't learned yet, have they? Well, he's he
do you don't. He searched me.

Speaker 3 (16:49):
I don't have any drugs. But when officers searched.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
Him, he was also found to have a kinderreg with
ten bags of a ketamine inside his ain't is.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
What guys like, man?

Speaker 1 (17:08):
I mean, I don't know about you, but if I
like we all used to go to Rais. There's a
bunch of us used to go to Rais, and yeah,
you would find what you needed there.

Speaker 3 (17:18):
But at no point was I like, hey, man.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Just come out your ass.

Speaker 3 (17:27):
That is not.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
That is not. These storages compartments that it looks like
people nowadays are like, oh yeah, it's like a.

Speaker 3 (17:35):
Glove box but different. There's so many stories about it.
It is a fanny pack.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
I just imagine these guys trying to like, okay, man,
I gotta go with this egg Like you're just walking
around with a kinderregg up your butt.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
First stop is the bathrooms.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
Yeah, I hope so. But it's like, hey, man, you
got them drugs out? No man, they're good. Three hours
and I about them drugs, No man, they're good.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
Plus forever, they're gonna be those guys now. And these
guys are young man, they're like early twenties crazy. Look.
I guess it's just different nowadays for guys. You know,
when I says, hey, can you hold it on my cellphone? Sure,
give me a minute. Guys now are just different guys.
When I grew up, that was never considered a pots

(18:34):
for holding anything.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
An old prison pocket.

Speaker 3 (18:38):
It's like a hoodie pocket, but warmer