Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
One o seventy nine kbp I and your show time
for stupid stories. Stop y'all, all stop. Yeah you are
stories brought to you by Seal Tools.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Get yours at steel USA dot com.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
All right, let's get to it, man. A couple of things.
Looks like there's an only fan star who was hospitalized
after apparently sleeping with five hundred and eighty three men
in six hours. Wow, doesn't sound like that's very wrestful. Anyway,
sleep not, I'll sleep there said anyway, here's what I
(00:37):
would take from that. Never sleep with more than five
hundred and eighty two men in six hours. It's the
five hundred and eighty third one scoop that puts you
over the limit. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I probably
can't recover from that one. It's just too much. It's
just it's just too much. How about this? A Chinese
(00:57):
company held the world's first humanoid about fighting competition, had
a human referee. And this is the beginning of the end.
We've been saying the beginning of the This is early
stages of the end, right, Like these things would whoop
our ass.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
There was a point where I thought the two robots
might turn on the raft.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
There was a point I was hoping they would, So
just know it's out there, it's coming, and there's nothing
we could do to stop it. We're all gonna die.
Be nice to your refrigerator this morning. Recent graduates say
it's more quote anxiety inducing to negotiate their salary with
an employer than it is to break out with a partner. Now, look,
(01:41):
would you rather not negotiate it and then be broke?
So yeah, suck it up, buttercup, It's something you gotta do.
Hefty release limited edition packs of birthday cakes and the
Ultrastrong trash bags to celebrate their sixtieth anniversary. I guess
they sowed out immediately. So they're trash bags that smell
(02:04):
like birthday cakes.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, okay, I do have to say I had some
lavender trash bags a while back.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Those aren't bad.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
They are nice.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Those are nice. It's like poopery for your trash can.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
It is a little bougie, but if you can afford it,
go for it.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
It's like a dollar more but well worth.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
It's right right.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
It smells like lavender. No man knows what lavender smells like.
It's a solid. Guess let's see eighty two eighty two.
That's well, if you got an eighty two, would that
get you a B? Or was that a C plus?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
School? It's BB minus somewhere in that range. I'd say,
if I was a teacher, you'd be getting a B.
If you're right at eighty, you'd be getting a B minus.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I always thought it had it had a little like
ninety two or ninety three, and up was an a
B was like eighty three to ninety three.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yeah, maybe Udson teachers like braided on the curve, but
our standard was always the ten yeah, ten percent each.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Eighty two percent of people claim they have a quote
generally favorable opinion of the people they interact with on
a daily basis.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Okay, I think eighty two is reasonable.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Eighteen percent of people out there just hate every day
of existence. I just hate everybody I gotta deal with
every day.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Some people can't please.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
That would suck. Who's the most who's the most unagreeable?
Gen z uh so suck at Southwest. Starting today, flights
booked on the Southwest do not come with free baggage.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Oh no, the.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
First bag thirty five bucks, the second bag forty five
Damn the free days are over. And on a similar note,
then United United started this new policy where you got
to check in forty five minutes before your flight, and
if you don't, you could lose your flight. Right It's like, damn,
(04:12):
calm down, y'all, why are you so angry? But they are. Man,
definitely something to just make note of. If you fight United,
you got to check in early, man.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Right, if you're the type of person that's always running
to your gate last minute, like, oh, they better hold it.
United is not for you any.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
They Oh they're gonna they're gonna hate you. You're well casual,
caress and walk towards the uh you know those people
are like, ah, you know that already had their ticket?
How they show up right when the doors closed? Somebody
of oh, we're just waiting for a couple of passengers
and they just meander in, you know, Sash aid, know,
(04:49):
no worry about it. I'm in you know, seat road
three ced A's you.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Know, hold on, I need to finish my drink office.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Right right, No, sucker, you lost your seat. Damn. A
man wanted for an active warrant was safely taken in
Custie a Monday after climbing an eighty foot tree during
what was an eight and a half hours standoff.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
It's a good climb, dude.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
They found it with a drone.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Oh really Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yeah, it's pretty interesting when you read the story because
he eluded police several times and he ran into a
forest and they couldn't find him, so they said a
drone up. They spied him in a tree. So this
is kind of cool. From Windy. They just released a
brand new burger with a grilled cheese as the bun. Oh.
(05:40):
Yeah wow, that sounds awesome. Available now, or at least
it's coming right now. It's available in Canada. They're making
the way towards US next couple months, so imagine it's
gonna be here for long. But that sounds delicious. A
grilled cheese as the bun. Oh, that could be good?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
All right?
Speaker 1 (06:03):
In this video is insane? Are we sharing this? Which
one does? The parasling guy? Yeah, dude, can you imagine?
So imagine being a paraglider. Like when I see these
people up near boat or whatever, I'm pretty amazed by
you know what they're doing. Anyway, I've done a lot
of skydivan, so I get the thrill. But parasaling. You
(06:24):
can just you know, you could ride different thermals and
you know, vortext or whatever and just ride them out.
This guy, unfortunately, who man, So he caught a vortex
and it drugged this guy. Twenty eight thousand feet in
the air, Like, hello, that's where commercial jets fly. Man.
(06:49):
You imagine being a jet like you know in the
Southwest flying home? Is that a some big paraglider that
would freak somebody.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Out right having his thumb out hitchhiking.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Hey, give me a lift.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
It's cold out here.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Dude, that's like a cartoon man, Like, what is that?
It's a paraglider. Anyway, the guy was up there in
frigid conditions. He was frostbitten because it's so cold at
twenty eight thousand feet, but he did survive. It is
a wild video. He had an own video too, which
is amazing because nobody would believe it. Right, but he's
(07:26):
just right. He's above the clouds, I mean significantly above
the clouds.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
And he's just sort of hanging on for dear life.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
He's like, Lord, please let me land. Dude, twenty eight
thousand feet and you got a paraglider for your.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
You don't know how hot you are because all you
see below you is clouds.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Right, this is like a Tom Cruise stunt, but I'm
not Tom Cruise.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
And not only is it cold, but it's also windy.
The wind is just howling by it.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Oh man, all right, one family out there can say
and claim that Metallias saved their life. All right. So
this girl, Chris McKee hurt, her husband, and their fourteen
year old daughter, Medeline, were scheduled to attend a Metallica
show in Blacksburg, Virginia, on May seventh. The night before.
(08:15):
Kristen and her husband decided to turn into bed early
so they can get plenty of rest before the show,
because they they said they wanted to stay the entire show.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Now, normally they would be up for several more hours
in the living room watching TV. So that's important, okay
for the story. So they all laid up in bed,
just laid down. Everybody's like, oh no, I couldn't wait
for Medallia whoo right, and then boom this huge crash
(08:50):
through their living room. A freaking truck crashed through their
house and it landed directly in their living room, like
over top of the recorders that the husband. He normally
said in Okay, Christmas said, quote, I think God every
day and Metallica for saving us, because that's exactly what
(09:11):
they did. They saved our lives. They did make the show,
but Maddeline wrote the band a letter thanking him for
saving her parents.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I mean they lived the inner Sandman video right there.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
It is that video right. Oh that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Sleep with one eye open, right.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Gripping your pillow tie life. Yeah, man, that's wild to
think of. You know, a bass truck comes crashing through
your living room right where mom and dad would have
been had not been from Metallica. It's pretty badass, though
they can't say Metallica saves them. A guy in Charlttesville, Virginia,
(09:52):
and then Kevin Cox got arrested. He painted his own
crosswalk on a busy street. I think this is awesome.
It didn't take for the city to we'll catch it
and get rid of it. And Kevin knew it wouldn't last.
He even used non permanent water soluble spray chalk. Oh,
but he did it to prove a point. He said.
(10:12):
Residents have been trying to get the traffic under control
for a while and he can't get the city do
anything about it, so he decided to take matters into
his own hands. A neighbor who uses a wheelchair says
Kevin's actions are heroic because there's no access to a
crosswalk anywhere nearby. With how fast the driver's going, it's
(10:33):
just dangerous. No, it's dangerous for you because you can't
wheel your ass cross street fast enough. Is that wrong? Yeah? Probably,
But still you can't draw your own crosswalk, although I
liked the idea of it.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Did he at least put it in the right place?
Or is it one of these sort of just middle
of the road like a jaywalking.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I don't have a picture of it. The story says,
hero or not, you can't paint your own crosswalk on
the street. He was charged with property damage and his
facing up to a year in prison.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Come on, he was using sidewalk chalk.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I know, man, you won't get somebody here in prison
for using chalk.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Make him on, can't go arrest the two year old
that I'm with.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
No doubt my kid can throw down a crosswalk at
no time. Flat, man, it'd be a little off, but
it's okay. Let's see, he hopes he can get off
because he used chalk and that actual paint. He also
is hoping the case gets engineers to reconsider putting a
crosswalk in that area. We'll see, man, we'll see. But
(11:37):
still pretty funny though.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
We're never gonna put the crosswalk in just to spite
this guy.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Now, Oh, I know right when I worked nights, one
time we took a bunch of cones and blocked off.
I had twenty five and Evan's just to see what
people would do.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
What did they do?
Speaker 1 (11:53):
They didn't go on the exit. They just left it,
just drove, just got off. And no, they wouldn't drive
und it. Nobody would take the exit. Oh, I'm like,
you get just shut down and exit. We had it
cones up there for like thirty minutes. Nobody would do anything.
I'm like, I know she would leave them there. There
was even cops driving by. Shut down. Oh extra shutdown.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
No signage or anything, but no shut down.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I think somebody just put five cones out. There's what
I think the power of the cone. It's crazy, man,
It's a powerful orange object, that's for sure. You gotta
recognize you will respect my authoritie the cone. All right,
So you're ready to hear about a new drug. It's
called cush. Cush.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Yeah, they usually associate that with pot, But no.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Dude, this one is made out of people's bones. Oh,
it's a deadly new synthetic drug made of human bones.
This woman a former flight attendant. She was smuggling one
hundred pounds of it.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Charlotte twenty one years old. She's a looker. She was,
I guess in Sri Lanka and apparently she was carrying
a suitcase and the story says it was full of cush. Kush,
a new drug originating in West Africa, which kills and
estimate a dozen people a week in Sri Leone alone.
(13:21):
That's the city she's from. Oh. When they found the
drugs in her suitcase, what was her excuse?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Hmm, those aren't mine, Yes.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
She said, those aren't mind. Somebody from there. She says
she knows who put there. Oh, but she's not gonna
tell the cops. She's not an arc Huh. No, dude.
The street value of one hundred pounds of this new
drug cush. You ready for this?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Street value three point three million dollars.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, man, they're making this story out like we should
feel sorry for she's being held in hard conditions in
the jail north of Colombo, where she has to sleep
on a concrete floor. Well, you didn't have one hundred
pounds of it.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Apparently this drug is twenty five times more poent than fetanyl.
It includes all kinds of stuff though, it's like an
everything baggle of drugs. It's got acidtone, human bones and
rat poison in it.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Rat poison? Why people taking it? What does this do?
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Yeah? Here, it says cris which is go figures, most
popular amongst young men. Now, none of these effects sound
anything positive. It says it can cause individuals to fall
asleep while walking and they continue to walk, collapse unexpectedly
while they're doing the drug and be asleep and even
(14:52):
wonder into moving traffic.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Interesting, so kind of puts you in a coma, but
you're still wandering around. Ye.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah, who in their right mind wanted to do this drug?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Well, it looks like it's not so common here. China,
the UK and the Netherlands are the key exporters of
Kush and its ingredients.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Wow, I guess it's gotta and this story it reads
like it has Once you do it, you have this
insatiable desire to continue to do it. According to this
is what this is. It's even led to people robbing
graves and Sira Leone where this city that she she
(15:38):
came from. So apparently people were robbing graves, pulling the
skeletons out and using that riding up the security and
graveyards to keep people from stuck. I've been digging up skeletons.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Like what. Yeah, apparently it's a big problem in West Africa,
people digging up the bodies and making some drugs out
of it.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Damn, He's pretty gross when you think about it, like, uh,
what do you got?
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Are you doing that other story about Denver? Yeah, apparently
this is the stuff that you use to reverse it.
Oh really yeah, it falls into that same opioids category.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
So talk about quite a predicament. And this is one
of those things when both these stories right in front
of me kind of answered the question. One of the stories,
the headline says bar owner's brainstorm, we used to keep
downtown Denver safe. The next headline Denver police installing. How
(16:41):
do you pronounce it this? Nowlex Alexone, Alexone or Narcan
basically Narcan vindi machines outside three different stations in downtown Denver.
So on one side, you have this whole group of
people that met the other night trying to figure out
how to get downtown safe. But yet, are you not
(17:03):
inviting people to do hard ass drugs when you're setting
up vending machines with nark cannon?
Speaker 2 (17:08):
It right?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Come on, man, you can't have both. Sorry, you can't
have both. And this is the problem. So there was
this huge, like brainstorming meeting with bar owners a room.
Here's the story reads. A room full of bar owners
came together for a first of its kind meeting to
work together and making downtown Denver stronger and safer. The
(17:33):
quote behind the bar Downtown Denver Bar Seminar was organized
by the City of Denver and attracted nearly one hundred
people from the Denver bar industry. I wonder how much
our tax dollars spent on this. Anyway, they go on
to say that they're trying to after this one hundred
and seventy five million dollar construction project on sixteen Street Mall.
(17:56):
It's wrapping up yep, one hundred and seventy five million.
Who Anyway, they're trying to launch campaigns to bring people
back downtown. Here's the problem. What is your perception of downtown?
If somebody says, hey, you want to go downtown this weekend,
what is the first thing that you think about? Me?
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Personally? There's not a lot downtown that I want to
go do, like Sixteenth Street Mall. I haven't been back
since they've done this stuff. But there's the last perception
I have of it is there's not a lot going on.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Down there, right? And what is going on down there
you don't want to be part of?
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Right?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
How many times have you been down there, right and
you're seeing some crazy dude on drugs, probably cush according
to wait make it sound like, but you'll hear and
see people just whacked out of their minds doing stupid
stuff all over the place. Yet their answer to this
(18:54):
ready for this, Their answer seems to be, you got
a hundred bar owners coming again, and how do we
make this better? The only answer in this story they've
agreed on is trying to keep the bars open to
four am. Really, yeah, that's the solution. Well, you know what,
let's just stay open longer. And their argument is that
people will trickle out later because most of the bad
(19:17):
things that happen downtown happened between midnight and two. Okay,
so when the bars are closing up or people are
going home and so forth. So they say, if they're
open till four, people will just trickle out naturally, as
opposed to the amateur hour, when all the bars shut
down and people just hit the streets.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Right when they've said no last call has already happened,
nobody get out. Yeah, yeah, I don't. And if all
the bad stuff's happened between midnight and two, why not
close them at midnight.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
It's too logical because they need me more money, not less.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Right. I understand why the bar owners won an extra
two hours of serving.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Right, because drunk people spend money, right, he said, Well,
they go on this Kimberly woman who leads to the
Dimver Police Department new Downtown Police Force. She says that
they're gonna do everything from putting more lights in parking
lots to longer operating hours for the bars. That's their solution,
(20:21):
more parking lot lights and have the bars open a
four am. I don't think that's the best solution, but
we'll see. Like you, I don't feel like it used
to be downtown was like the hot spot. Right. You
go downtown and that was like the only spot you
would go. But nowadays, every you know, every city has
its own district or placing go for, you know, for
(20:44):
a celebration or a party or whatever. Aurora has, Littleton
has it, You don't. Loveland has their own district, Windsor
has their own district. Everybody's got their own spot.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
You might not even have to pay for parking there.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, you know, I think Garden of the days that
downtown was this big hub of it. Yeah, it's this
big mecca and everybody want to go downtown because there's
place to be seen. Ah, I don't think so. Man.
Last time, every time I go down there in the
last few years, this has been ugly.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
You gotta give us a reason to go down there.
The Rockies aren't a reason to go down.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
There, no, man. Well, obviously, dark can vending machines are
the reason to go down there. Bro, That's gonna bring
all the positive attitude and energy you want down there.
Nark can vending machines. Well, why is everybody on drugs
down here? I don't know. I don't know either. You
know what, let's put in some nark And vending machines, Idiots,