Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
One O seven nine kbp I and your show talk
for Stupid Stories started.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Yeah, all stop, Yes you are stupid stories, brought to
you by.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Who know those quatro.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Apparently it's coming to your favorite casino, although we can't
find any details about whether you're actually gonna be able
to gamble on it or what the rules are.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
But I got a story about that coming out. Yeah,
I marked it. It's basically social clubs, so.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
You're hanging out and playing uno and drinking and not gambling.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Yeah, alright, something something like that.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
STAYI lane, you know, stain your lane.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
So I don't know, this is probably pretty funny, el
I must he definitely thought it was funny. Tests expanded
the service area of its robo taxi service in Austin.
Now the map, it looks like a gigantic penis over Texas.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Oh really, that's hilarious.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
In Arizona, a homeowner has been repeatedly fined one hundred
dollars by his HOA.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Okay, what's he doing hanging.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Out free cold water bottles to his neighbors? Oh come on, yep,
he's been doing it for a year. He's fighting back
with the HOA is continually finding they just keep finding
one hundred bucks handing his neighbors free cold bottles of water.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Come on, man, that's implicitly not allowed in the HOA.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
I guess not what what?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Why on earth would you get fined for that? It's
just it's crazy these hoa's. Man, it's just nuts. Man.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
What I can't hand my own neighbor of bottled water?
It's just weird.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Some guy discovered a unicorn skull in the UK, and
then he traded for a few pints of beer.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
Oh okay, I mean sure, probably looks cool in the
pub that he traded at.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
As is so A found the average gen zer at
millennial feels overwhelmed. How many days out of a month?
A typical month of thirty days is a physical month.
How many of those days the gen zers and millennials
feel overwhelmed?
Speaker 4 (02:17):
We'll go for like two thirds of them.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Seventeen days, man.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Oh okay, it's about half.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Why so overwhelmed?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Burger King his debut the limited edition burger in Japan
called the Baby Body Burger and has got five freaking
patties on it. What It's a collaboration with the Japanese
sumo wrestler in the Sumo Association. They're hold a big
tournament this month, and that's what the guys like.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
The sumo wrestlers eat.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
Oh okay, they like when we look.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
At burger with five, can you imagine.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
That's gonna be huge? Man?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
When I went to the Live in, uh not gonna.
I remember arm wrestled all the people that would arm wrestle.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
When I was over there, that was like my.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
My stunt, you know, and beat on the air and
I man, I murdered a surprising number of Olympic athletes. However,
they brought this six hundred pound dude in and man,
it was amazing. I with both hands and used my
legs to push off on the counter.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
I couldn't budget his arm. Wow. I mean this dude
was like he was huge.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
He was like six foot seven, six foot eight, like
six hundred pounds.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Or so he was. It was just the biggest human
being I ever seen in my life. I'm like, what
the do you eat?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Man?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
I guess burgers with five patties?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
That burger weighs in at one point five pounds.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Geez.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
It costs seventeen dollars and forty five cents if you
get it. Converted and uh and seventy six calories.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
One burger was eighteen hundred calories. Wow, that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I made a friend's escape prison by hiding in the
luggage of a fellow cell mate. It was being released
luggage luggage, as in the other cellmate carried his ass out.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
In a suitcase that was big enough to carry him.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
That must have been a small dude.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Man. Now, I've never been to jail or prison, but
I didn't think you got to bring suitcases with you
or when you got out either way.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Yeah, I don't think. Well, I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
It may be different over there, but still, I mean,
they caught him my suitcase. Suitcase, man, I can imagine
I'll act like it didn't weigh hardly anything. I'm just
stunned at the guy who was able to carry it out,
Like you get a cart like it at an airport
or something.
Speaker 4 (04:57):
Oh right, right right, like the hotel with a little
borrow on it. Just just.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
A Motorcycles in Florida was busted for speeding reckless driving
after cops spotted riding hands free with his arms out
stretched like he was jacking the Titanic. Oh, come on,
you can do that easy on a motorcycle. Please right stop.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
He didn't cause any other problems, was the only one?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
No, that's it.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
A woman in Washington are the Guinness World Record for
a collection of four thousand and sixty different jigsaw puzzles. Damn,
how do you say you're bored without saying you're bored?
Holy moly, four thousand jigsaw puzzles. Place in Northeast Ohio.
They used facial This is gonna be everywhere, man, facial recognition.
(05:43):
It's already a denver. It's already popped up in different places.
This gonna be everywhere. This story out of Ohio they
used facial recognition technology track down several women who twirked
on a police car, and they busted all of them.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Dude, that's gonna be everywhere, man.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Facial recognition stuff is exploding right now.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
And that's what they use it for, busting girls tworking
on a police car. Yes, not murders, not rapes, tworking
on a police car?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
So did you twerk on my police car?
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Instead of fingerprints, they do butt prints for that. Oh
s match them up?
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Oh so I hope they have to get special notes
on there?
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Would they do the lineup, do they twork? Could you
turn into work please?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
What we need y'all to do? Ladies to turn around
and do that little shake thing out? All right?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
So this is an England Fed District Council launches a
fresh bid to find people for swearing. Swearing huh yeah,
So official council papers shows this kind of thing at
plans to revisit controversial scheme of well they help tackle
(07:07):
what they call rising tensions between anti social use and
street drinkers. There's people drinking the street. The council sought
to implement a PSPO Public Space Protection Order And what's
crazy is they say high profile clashes between anti social
(07:32):
groups have made headlines this summer meeting. Disturbances unfolded front
of families while some are caught on camera and subsequently
circulated on social media. Now the overview and scrutiny meeting
papers blah blah blah blah. Oh this is when they
put this in front of the panel instead of going
for the panel today julyfe fifteenth. It outlines seven activities
(07:57):
that they hope to prohibit. The biggest one is the
use of falior abusive language, which if approved by the
cabinet today they can they can seek one hundred Well
it's this euros, so about one hundred and thirty dollars
fine in American money one hundred dollars in euro.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Wow, dude, I mean.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
That seems crazy. One hundred and thirty four dollars fine
for cursing. WOW says all persons are prohibited from using
in a public place falor abusive language within the hearing
or sight of any other person, likely because harassment alarm
were distressed thereby. The document says, they're basically saying that
(08:48):
if they could hear you or see you cursing, they
could turn you in. And if you're you're giving a ticket,
they don't even have to turn you in. If you're
just doing it, they give you a ticket through this
train of judge dread.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
That is nuts.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Dropping an F bomb. That's one hundred bucks, one.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Hundred and thirty four dollars.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
You'll get fined more for saying f the F word
than actually paying a prosty for it.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
What a crazy rule?
Speaker 4 (09:20):
Man?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Can you imagine they actually implement that. It sounds like
they are, but that is insane. All right, Look, you
might be able to get away with stealing ice cream
from Walmart. But I don't know if you can get
by with stealing ice cream and a full array of
adult toys. Is forty yer old man Afford named Jeffrey Laford.
You got arrested Friday and he stole all kinds of
(09:42):
adult toys from a Walmart.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
And I mean, like, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Give you some names right now that are Hey, I'm
just reading what he stole. He stole from the store.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Be careful. It says yeah, it says a come out.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Uh ge the gez one suction or a vibrator, a
vibrating pocket wand uh the tous toy you would it's
gonna be a butt uh, a flavored lube, a dual
vibrating massager.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Hey, this is a good one.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
The mega massager, oh massage, a vibrating bullet massager.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
And an oral stroker. Oh yeah, and reeseent peanut butter
ice cream.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
That's funny.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Jeffrey's charges were enhanced to felonies because he was well
he had prior theft convictions. He's now being held on
two thousand dollars bond. I'm I'm a little uh impressed
with the inventory of not the toys that Walmart has. Right,
I've never seen those on any shelves, but my god,
I need to ask.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Now they're available for pickup if you go through Walmart
dot com.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
They don't really have the.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
The oral stroke I'm gonna go ask my Walmart lady,
where's the oral stroker?
Speaker 4 (11:21):
Pick up as soon as three pm? For the Hello
Cake silicone oral stroker with a sample of flavored loube
that comes with it fourteen ninety eight.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
Oh wow, surprisingly cheap. Right, there is a deluxe version.
I mean there's the oral strokers.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
Go, I guess there is a double sided what?
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
And my favorite part of the oral stroker is the
you've got a favorite part. So they've got the box
here on the right, and there is a picture of
a couple on the back. Okay, kind of I don't
want to say demonstrating how you use an oral stroker, but.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Well, they're experiencing the oral stroker.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
It's ticking their fingers in it. And it's of course
it's a mixed race couple. It's a black guy and
a white girl.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
Isn't it wild? How man? Just all of a sudden
the last year or.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Two, you can't have an ordinary white couple on there,
ordinary black couple.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
It's got to be a mixed race couple.
Speaker 4 (12:29):
But the black guy is holding it.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
And she's sticking her finger in it.
Speaker 4 (12:32):
Her is he she's sticking her finger. They both look excited.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
So hey, I'll be honest, though, if I saw that
sitting on the shelf, I'll just take my finger in it.
It looks like some of you, like, I don't know,
I want to stick your finger in?
Speaker 4 (12:51):
Sure?
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Would you stick your finger in it?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Absolutely?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
I like to look on his face when she sticks
her finger. He seems more surprised than she is.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
At least start together. The person on the other boxes
all by himself, Oh oh, just one lonely dude on
the back of the box. What if this guy told
his grandma, Hey, I got a gig, I got a
photo shoot coming up.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
I'm a model for the Oral Stroker. I bet he did.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
I would have sent my mama pictures. I'd have signed
a box and be like, don't open this, but I
made it big. You imagine asking the Walmart person. I'm
gonna ask her. I'm gonna take this whole list in
and ask for it. That's what we gotta do for
some tickets. Yo Man Go complete this list of Walmart