Is that a Powertool in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

Is that a Powertool in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
One O seven nine KBP I and your show time
for stupid stories.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Stot y'all all stop stupid stories.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Brought to you by Colorado Lottery. Oh tonight, the power
ball is at four hundred and nineteen million. Tomorrow night,
Mega Million's at eight hundred million.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Even I sure could use me some of them millions. Man.
You know, November's National Pet Cancer Awareness Month. Oh yeah, man,
safe to say, it's a good time. Get it cat
skin scoop stupid. It's National Sandwich Day. Okay, just wants

(00:44):
to make sure you celebrate. See I did.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Oh uh huh oh what kind is that ham?

Speaker 2 (00:51):
That's a turkey sandwich? Look, Madio packs my lungs like
I'm a third grader. This guy got sandwich and an apple.
Make sure you bring that tupperware home. No, that's cute,
all right. The man who created, uh well, the frozen burrito,
his name was Dwayne Roberts. He's a billionaire off that

(01:12):
oh wow, billion with a bee? Is that burrito? He died?

Speaker 1 (01:16):
His name wasn't little one?

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Do you would think?

Speaker 1 (01:19):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:20):
He passed away. Dwayne Roberts eighty eight years old.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah, Little Dwayne. Burritos doesn't have the same ring.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
No plus would you think it was? I mean, I
don't necessarily believe you go into that thing it's gonna
be a delicious burrito. Anyway, we all have a level exit.
There's circumstances and situations to which you're heating up the
old frozen bean burrito. You know what I'm saying. The
Internet is making fun of a woman who posts a

(01:50):
negative review of restaurants saying, quote, I found an entire
leaf in my baked beans. Because I'll say, I can't
make this up. It was a bay leaf. One person said, uh, yeah,
some people have never cooked anything without a microwave and
it shows. Another person said, did you think they took

(02:12):
the pot outside to enjoy the sunshine and like a
leaf fell in it. It's part of the season, your goofball.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Right, either eat around it or just eat around it late.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
You take it out later on the side. You know
it's supposed to add a flavor. Look, I'm always curious
is why I see those things in there too? But
you don't like, oh I found a leaf in my baby.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
Come on, I don't know if this was just our family,
but we are always told it's good luck. Oh really,
it's good luck to get the bay leaf's good luck.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
It is okay. The average American has how many close
friends which think it? What is it? Close? Friends?

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Close is the top? Do you be determined? I'll go
with four close friends.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yep, that's the number four four coasts. Taco Bell is
testing a new Crispy Chicken crunt trap slider. Oh, I'm
alright with that.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Okay, dude slider, delicious crunt trap slider.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah. Top three countries people around the world most want
to move to if you buy a list like this, Canada, Australia,
and Japan. Like ninety eight percent of the entire population
of Canada lives on a North American border. The Cold

(03:41):
Company is reintroducing mister pib Oh. I didn't you think
it's been gone?

Speaker 1 (03:49):
I didn't even notice it was gone.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
There's pib extra, but not mister pib Oh. I haven't
noticed the difference twenty four years?

Speaker 1 (03:59):
No, Yeah, it's been twenty four years since you had actual.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Mister, Wow, you've only had a couple of decades.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
And notice, right, well, Julie is a doctor Pepper household
and yeah, that's that's all we get over there. There's
no pib in the house.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Right. A female teacher in Florida got arrested showed up
the work that school ko cocaine. Apparently she's also letting
the students hit the vaight pin, which was nicotine, trying
to be the cool teacher.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Hunh right.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
A young man in Florida got arrested for making more
than forty violent threaty phone calls to law enforcement officers
following the arrest of his wife, who was recently arrested
for domestic battery. That's a fun couple, is it not.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Huh you let my wife go. I'm calling back.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
I know she whooped my ass. We all better there
go because I whooped your ass. Man. There's somebody for everybody. Uh,
let's see. The husband has been quote traumatizing traumatizing his
wife by repeatedly buying her grippy socks, even though she

(05:20):
apparently hates him. So everytime she goes to the side drawer,
it's the grippy socks and she freaks out.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Who hates?

Speaker 2 (05:29):
I know what's to deal with? Well, I mean, judging
from her song yesterday, I or last week, I hate
guy's named Noah, Uh yeah, I like grippy socks, right,
only did you get it like a sky's on.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Those are awesome, right, It's only a problem if you're
trying to do that, Tom Cruise. But as rare as
you do that, yeah, give me the grippy socks, right, it's.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
Really hard to do on carpet, all right. I think
he buys off of the world's most expensive cup coffee.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
How much for a cup?

Speaker 2 (06:06):
One thousand dollars for one cup of coffee?

Speaker 1 (06:10):
All right? Now, what's the gimmick Because a lot of
times they'll have the cocktails that they sell that are
the world's most expensive. But really, what you're buying is
like an engagement ring inside of a cocktail.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yeah. No, it's just coffee really, but it does have
white floral notes of jasmine citrus flavors like orange. I
know how you like your coffee, but orange coffee doesn't
sound good at all at me. But whatever, and ooh's
got a hint of apricot and peach. But withn't the
floral notes of jasmine and citrus flavors like orange get

(06:47):
mixed up with the confused about how do you even know?
Whoever does those things? Is stupid?

Speaker 1 (06:54):
And it's not served in a gold cup that you
get to keep.

Speaker 2 (06:57):
Nope, wow, no jasmine, citrus flavors like orange. The end
of Apricact. You might know what apricotty would tastes like. Uh,
it tastes like peach. And it's got apricotty and peach.
It's all scene crap. Halloween prank is awesome. So at

(07:17):
three point thirty in the morning, a fiberglass Sinclair dino
statue was stolen from the Sinclair gas station on Bridge Drive.
This is where um Bozeman, Montana.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
Damn it. Who stole the dinosaur?

Speaker 2 (07:37):
Now that's funny because it shows several people carrying the
green mascot away in the middle of the night. Three
thirty in the morning. By sunrise, hikers spotted the dino. Scoop.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
Oh, it's been seen.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Huh. It was at the top of the m trail
wherever that is outside Bozeman. But it looks pretty high
perch proud above the Galladin Valley. Video and photos from
the scene showed the statue visible from below, circled against

(08:11):
a mountain backdrop. The gas station owners say while the
prank gave them a good laugh, they don't want to
see it happen again. Other dinos is back of the
gas station and was unharmed. The owners say it does
look more majestic on top of the mountain though, right,
I mean, that's pretty funny up there.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
Like we've been told what the going price for those is,
it's almost worth buying one of those and just leaving.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
It up, yeah, for I mean, twenty five hundred bucks
is normally what to go for. But I just want
to know the dudes that carry it up there. That
was a pretty good hike, I imagine, especially at four
in the morning. All right, So when you go to
an amusement park, you think you're fairly safe on the
fairest wheel, correct.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Of all of them out there are the teacups and
the firest wheel, those are the safe ones.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Two girls, both under the age of thirteen, were thrown
off a ferris wheel ride in Louisiana Saturday. We'd just
tell the local station the fairest wheel bucket. We know
how Normally when the farrest wheel goes up, the bucket
just pivots on a little pin. Right. Well, if there's

(09:19):
corrosion or something, all of a sudden didn't pivot where
it should. What happens to the bucket?

Speaker 1 (09:27):
Oh? Did it? Stay even with the wheel.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah, so the bucket just turned completely upside down. Oh
and what do you know about a ferris wheel bucket?
No seatbelts in there, No, it's just open. So yeah,
the fairest wheel bucket tipped over around noon, dumping both
girls out of the platform in the middle of the ride.
One had to be airlifted, the other one was taking

(09:51):
about by the ambulance to the hospital. They shut down
the amusement park and state inspectors gave it a get
a quick one over, but it reopened later that day.
Oh yeah, says the ferris wheel ride has been shut
down while the investigation continues.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Yeah. If I ever show up to a fair and
it's the ferris wheel that's shut down, I'm not getting
on the other things.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
I mean, yeah, does seem a little when the ferris
wheel sketches out. That's final destination. Man, it's just your time,
all right. A lot of people love themselves A good
hardware store. Forty one year old man in Indiana named
Joseph Corbett. He was spotted at the as hardware store
on Saturday, and apparently people worked there said he had

(10:49):
a quote noticeable budge bulge in his uh uh you
know a crotch area, noticeable noticeable budge bulge. Uh, police recalled.
They stopped him as he was walking out. The cops
as Joseph and his noticeable bulge if he had anything

(11:11):
in there, and he admitted that he had a I
got a big tool. Sir Oh told the cops he
had a big tool. He got a big toolants he
got a big tool. Uh, well, cops made him, made
him unbuckle his parents, so they witness said tool and
turned out to be a Milwaukee in eighteen router, like

(11:33):
a woodworking tool. So he apparently was playing on stealing.
It's worth more than two hundred bucks. And this had
claimed he wasn't stealing it. He was only coming out
through his car to get some money and he's gonna
take it back in his side to pay for it.
They didn't buy that either. Then he later admitted at

(11:55):
a police station said he stole it so he could
sell it and get some money paid his bills. So yep,
that doesn't fly. He's now facing multiple charges, including retail.
That that power tool in your pants you just have
to see us. Uh noticeable bulge in the old crotch area. Yeah,

(12:16):
I feel like if he was trying to put a
router down there and that's gonna like, it would be different.
Yeah'd be different. If it was like, you know, trying
to think of what would fit down there, you might
be able to go to drama. Yeah, imagine some dude
trying to get a worm saw down there. So you

(12:40):
need it longer grinder maybe, hm hmmm. Because the routers,
you know, it's got this big round thing right right
the handles on the side. It's normally a pretty big
round you know, calm them all the way up. You know,
it's about eighteen inches tall. Makes a have a lot
of noise anyway, seven thirty four. That is stupid stories