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April 30, 2025 14 mins
Woman opens up a can of Tuna in the middle of a Broadway Play.  The Crowd was not happy about it.
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
One o seven nine KBPI and your show time for
stupid stories.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Stop that, yeah all stop.

Speaker 3 (00:09):
Yes, you are stories brought to you buy air comfort
your local carrier experts.

Speaker 4 (00:14):
All right.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
So we had that story yesterday about sixty million dollars
Navy jet falling off the aircraft carry into the ocean.
We found out this morning is because it had to
evade well from being hit by the Hooties.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
It sank so.

Speaker 4 (00:29):
Low, Scoop, How low did it sink, Willie?

Speaker 3 (00:32):
It wound up being drafted by the Cleveland Browns. That's
pretty low, pretty low. So child scratch, say fifty six
million dollars painting at a Dutch museum.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Ooh ooh oof that you're gonna say, what he's scratched?
A fifty six million dollars scratch or ticket. That'd be awesome,
totally the other side of the spectrum. Yeahfore, not not
the case. But for more evidence of the damaged kids
can cause, google breastfeeding.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Just put that out there.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Do a new survey of ninety five percent of single
women said they want what scoop?

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Just single women. I know you are.

Speaker 4 (01:14):
Single women, you're not familiar with.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
The subject matter, but ninety five percent of single women want.

Speaker 4 (01:19):
What to be left alone?

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Actually the opposite, They want to be approached more. Oh really, yeah,
but you see scoops of rest record would tell you otherwise.
And it's National oatmeal Cookie Day?

Speaker 4 (01:36):
Oh? Are with raisins without raisins?

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Well, if it's National oatmeal cookie Day, that means it's
national Are you sure you ain't got no chocolate cookie Day?
Because most oatmeal, if you can get oatmeal alone, is decent.
But most oatmeal cookies are just being assaulted by raisins,
right right, And raisins they don't have any purpose in
life other than piss people off.

Speaker 4 (02:02):
Right.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
Who likes raisins?

Speaker 4 (02:05):
My grandma?

Speaker 1 (02:05):
And I don't know if she made a special batch
for me or not, because some had raisins some didn't.
But man, I could go for one of her really
good super molassese no raisin.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Okay, yeah, yeah, see those are fine. Those are good.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
I feel like she pulled out some of the dough
just to put aside for me, just she knows my
disdain for for raisins.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
Yeah, a little zombie grape tastes like butt is awful.
All right, So you want to hear about this anti
aging trend in a bunch of Asian countries.

Speaker 4 (02:38):
Absolutely, all right, you.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
Guys ready, it involves tattooing bright pink circles on people's
knee caps and armpits.

Speaker 4 (02:46):
Knee caps, arm pits.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yep for that.

Speaker 4 (02:50):
Just a little pink circle. That's all.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Pink circle, that's all it takes.

Speaker 4 (02:54):
And do we have any any description as to how
this works?

Speaker 3 (02:58):
No, man, but you don't. You don't need proof that
it works. It's an aging trend. Oh you well know
for decades. You just got to commit to it.

Speaker 4 (03:05):
Man, as long as my knees are tattooed pink huh.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yep, and it our pits.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
A jumand You book was mailed back to a school
library along with forty dollars. It was supposed to be
returned within five days, but somebody kept it for fifteen
thousand and seven hundred, which is forty three years.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
Oh wow.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
And now some students are playing detective. They're trying to
figure out who the anonymous person who returned it was
just for fun?

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Oh okay, I mean forty dollars. Nice gesture. Doesn't cover
the late fees, but nice gesture.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
At least, I mean how much you want on the
jumids you book.

Speaker 4 (03:48):
Man, I feel like at least a dollar a year.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
There are three dollars short of that.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yeah all right, hey, at least you said something.

Speaker 4 (04:03):
Book. There's that book back.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
You're lucky for this left a row of dimes in there.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
People in Utah are shocked by a report about a
seven year old boy who somehow took his younger sister
out for a joy ride, driving his mom's car through
several towns. Incredibly, nobody was hurt. Oh, I was a seven
year old. He went like fifteen twenty miles through a
couple of towns.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
He's seven. I feel like I gotta worry about rider this.

Speaker 4 (04:33):
I mean, Utana is only ten months away.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
Yeah, man, Yeah, that's kind of scary.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
Another elderly This is an elderly man, but another naked
man in Florida breaking into a woman's home. Uh niked
this case an elderly man in Florida. He's called the
birthday soup bandit.

Speaker 4 (04:54):
Oh okay.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
Apparently he was trying to break into another woman's home
completely naked.

Speaker 4 (05:02):
And this is different than the one we had yesterday.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Correct, Yeah, the one yesterday was Alabama.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
But yeah, he broke into a home naked because he
was on mushrooms, and unfortunately he lived two houses down.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
He thought he was trying to get into his house.
This is just some.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
Old creeper, but as naked out there trying to crawl
through one's window.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Damn.

Speaker 3 (05:26):
I remember nifty's or NFTs or whatever they would call it.
Oh yeah, they're supposed to be so valuable. It was
the art of the future, was it, though?

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Did you ever buy one?

Speaker 3 (05:39):
No?

Speaker 1 (05:40):
But it did get me. I did buy some etherium.
I sort of looked into the whole trend of it,
and smitherium costs a little bit more than I was
willing to shell out for buying pictures.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
So nifty's were supposed to be valuable. Well, I guess
a bunch of the NFTs or whatever they are, well
they disappeared. So yeah, company behind them switched to a
cheaper cloud storage service and they lost them. Oh well
that sucks. Now they're really not worthy. But people were

(06:12):
paying big money for those, right they were. Yeah, what
was it going? What were some of the higher if
I recall right, they were going for big money at
some point.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
I think some of the Uh, there was some something
ape that was very popular I think like Justin Bieber
was getting into that, and I think those were going
for tens of thousands of dollars.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
Eighty seven year old man in Florida was arrested this
week for domestic battery after getting into to a five
of his wife because she tried to turn the air
conditioning down.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
He wouldn't have it.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
Uh uh, you know, turn that HC down a damn hot.
I would you find out for anything for nifty's NFTs?

Speaker 2 (06:51):
Whatever they are? Uh?

Speaker 1 (06:52):
About ninety five percent of them are considered worthless. Oh,
some are worth just a couple of pennies on top
of that.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
But will they pay for him? I want to say
some people paid thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
Probably Justin Bieber, shehelled out one point three million dollars
for an NFT.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
What well that dude you see in his choices lately?
I you ever been to a play, a Broadway play?

Speaker 1 (07:25):
Julian and I went to Hamilton earlier this year. I
think that qualifies. I mean, I'm not on Broadway, but
it's me and Monica.

Speaker 3 (07:32):
Try to take the kids in someplace you thought would
be really funny, or a symphony or some crap Oh yeah,
that did not.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Go well at all, man, like at all.

Speaker 4 (07:42):
I could see the Symphony being a bad choice for.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
Your horrible, horrible Anyway, this woman Audius member goes to
a Broadway show, so the security checks their bags when
they come in. They are to walk through metal detectors.
It's just safety precaution. But what are they looking for.
They're looking for weapons, right right? Not a can of tuna. No,

(08:08):
this woman snuck a cantatuna into a Broadway theater show
and she opened it in the middle of the show
and ate it with some crackers. Oh no, people lost it, man,
people lost it.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
And then she filmed it and posted on social media.

Speaker 3 (08:28):
Oh no, like I'm the girl that opens cantatuna.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
I mean she basically did it for.

Speaker 4 (08:34):
So she was doing it for the gram, not she
needed to eat some.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Don you imagine that?

Speaker 3 (08:39):
Just did somebody pop it over with cantatuna in the worst,
like most unbelievable place ever. Oh oh, and it didn't
have the audacity the video it right, that's the rub, right.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Well, now we know what she was doing it for.
It's one of those things like, oh, I'm in a
body building contests and I have to eat every hour
and this is a protein for me.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
But yeah, she did it just to get some Instagram likes.
Oh the people get worse and worse and more disgusting
every day.

Speaker 4 (09:12):
But be feet or blacklisted for that?

Speaker 3 (09:17):
Yeah, she's arguing, like why does it matter? But I mean,
can you imagine being like tune this story? The comics
were sterical, they're just like murdering All had this model
name the mad Alassie. Anyway, she books this trip to Japan.

(09:38):
She thought Japan would be very safe country, but despite
what happened.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
So here's the story.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
After day of sight seeing, she says, I came back
to my room about seven thirty, said, unlick my room
like usual, took off my clothes, laid down in bed,
and then you ready for this? Then she says, I
noticed a weird smell.

Speaker 4 (10:02):
Oh, weird smell.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Weird smell. What do you think that is?

Speaker 4 (10:06):
Another can of tuna?

Speaker 2 (10:08):
She said, I noticed a weird smell.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
At first I thought it was coming from my hair
or the bed sheets, but then she realized it was
coming from under the bed.

Speaker 4 (10:19):
Oh no, she said.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
She leaned over to check and what she saw cantatuna.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
No, no, she saw eyes staring right back at her. No, yeah,
a man was under her bed. Oh hell no, yeah,
said he stared at me for three seconds. She said,
I thought my life was over. She gets up, apparently screaming,
running blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
You know the rest of the drill.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
She calls the hotel security, asking how that's happened. She said,
I keep asking the hotel how this happened. They didn't
give her any answers, like, you don't want.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
To know how that?

Speaker 4 (11:02):
How you booked the room with a man under the bed?
Didn't you read the fine.

Speaker 3 (11:05):
Per man was there the whole time. He's there to
assist you in case you need something. Uh, she said,
feeling scared, don't safe. She moved to another hotel, said
next days of her trip was just a nightmare, and
couldn't sleep, Constantly on the edge, checking every corner in
my room. Said, let's wonder how somebody could get in

(11:27):
my room. How somebody knew that I was alone in
my room. How'd they know the exact time we'd be
taking off your clothes?

Speaker 2 (11:38):
That would be trippy though.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
Oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
That girl.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
For the rest of her life, anytime she checks into
a hotel, she will be checking under.

Speaker 4 (11:46):
The bed first. Thing.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
Yeah, man, Like some people come in, they'll rip the
covers off and be like, we don't need those h
under the bed first, under the bed?

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Why do you always have me check on her bed?
All right?

Speaker 4 (11:58):
You?

Speaker 3 (11:58):
But driving to Ohio, I got a I said after
a rider called nine to one one and said that
the driver boasts about having a bunch of drugs stashed
in a fake aerosol can in the car.

Speaker 4 (12:11):
Oh very specific.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
So the cop tracked the uber driver down.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Sure enough, they found an aerosol can which was filled
with twenty four grams of meth, all kinds of pills,
a meth pipe, a digital scale packaging bag. How much
stuff you fit aerosol can? A packaging bag is cash
and three cell phones. Wow, that is a big aerosol can.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
They yeah right, I'm like wow.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Uh the ideum is Robert Rose. He was also wearing
a T shirt that said, quote retired drug dealer.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
He come out of retirement, no doubt.

Speaker 3 (12:50):
He was charged with drug trafficking, possession of felling drugs,
and possession of drug paraphernalia with his freaking retired drug
dealer t shirt, I'm need an idiot, and then lastly,
crowds at a Connecticut beach carnival. It's kind of funny
because you reading this story and I guess everybody panicked.

(13:10):
The cops say that flatulent spray aka fart spray somehow
ignited this panic at this carnival. Uh. They said there
were no weapons, no physical altercations, and no injuries reported.
The post said police believe it was a prank using

(13:30):
flatulent spray got everybody paranoid, and they just started running.
Small groups started screaming to running, followed by a larger
reaction where others began running without knowing the cause.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
What the hell, it's.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
One of those All these people are running this direction,
we should probably run this direction too.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
That's hilarious.

Speaker 3 (13:54):
What a bunch of meat, sorry ass people you have nowadays?
Ah is everybody running relaxed. It's spark spray.
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