Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
One o seven nine KBP I and your show time
for stupid stories.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Stop that, y'all all stop.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Yes, you are stories brought to you by the Billy
Birch Pub.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
We're gonna be out there one week from tonight. That
is going to be Thursday, July seventeenth. That is one
one nine five Holly Street in Thornton. Uh. You got
five keys on the line and five pairs of tickets
to falling in reverse? Wow?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Okay, and again that shows when.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
A month from today, Wow, August tenth.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
It's crazy, how fastings?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Summer's half way over?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
I know, man?
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Uh anyway, hold on too, I can give some weekends,
don't have many?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
You know what's crazy?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Heels list of weekends like you see it sometimes in
father's books, like this is how many like weekends you
have before your kid hits this milestone or this milestone,
oh whatever one? Or this how many weekends you have
left in the year or whatever. It's not a lot,
it's crazy. Start breaking them down.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
You're like, damn, that's all I got. Wold all right.
A new study found that.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Eating more fruits and veggies throughout the day leads to
improved sleep quality.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Oh I see one problem with that, and that is
you're dreaming about eating cheeseburgers.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Nine percent of US workers use alcohol and drugs at work. Now,
this is nine percent of young US workers use alcohol
and drugs at work. And that's kind of troubling to me.
Why is it troubling to you that ninety one percent
of young US workers aren't cool? Just not cool, You're
(01:49):
just not cool. I'm just kidding, just kidding.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
All right. How about a sleepwalking woman?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Okay, she woke up just randomly one morning to discover
that she's spent eight dollars the night before getting door
dash and DoorDash delivery.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Okay, what a single pack of honey mustard?
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Oh wow, just a single pack of it was like
a Windy's pack of honey mustard.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
It was, you know, something something specific.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Uh huh, just a single pack of honey mustard?
Speaker 1 (02:28):
What that cost her eight bucks?
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Thirty seven year old woman in China, she gone viral
ifter revealing that she has not properly removed her makeup
and over two decades.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Wow. The reason she finally had to remove.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
It the severe rash underneath the makeup she kept piling on.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
More and more and more That's what I was want.
She's just stacking it and stacking it.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I feel like eventually it's just like a.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
You ever seen like a scraper or a trow that
use for crowd or like.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Doing a any sort of concrete work or tile worker.
You know, like like a paint scraper.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
What is that stuff called? When they scrape it off
of the car painting places, the Bondo, No like the
I want to say it's like Detroit, Detroit, a rout
or something like that, but they basically scrape all the
paint off that's just been layered up for years and
years when they did the painting of the cars. Oh
a da, and then they scraped all those layers off
(03:42):
and it had like a rock looking look. Oh okay, okay,
that's what I figured. Her face kind of looked like,
was just layers of.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Look if you're.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Are you putting on that much makeup at night or
during a please wash you? I can't imagine what your
pillow looks like. Dite fo d okay, I've never heard
that term.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
They come out looking like that.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Oh as wow, this is car paint.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yep. It's just after years and years and years.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
It just that's hilarious anyway, Yeah, imagine that rash.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
It had to be painful. Oh yeah, oh all right.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I study found that drinking instant coffee may and this
is in air quotes, dramatically increase your risk of age
related blindness. Oh how the hell they figured out that?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
That's just the coffee?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, just the instant coffee. No rapp reason whoy or
how how it does that?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
But what age related blindness? Like that didn't sound good
at all? Why instant coffee?
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I don't know, man, I don't know if maybe this
was paid for by the courag people fresh brew every
copy right, he.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Throw airport in London, they're gonna be piping in sounds
of an airport throughout the airport.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Oh, because they're not airport soundy enough.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
I guess so, man, I guess so.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
A sixteen year old without a license caused deadly crash
while racing his grandmother in a sports car. She just
bottom he was driving one hundred and fifty five miles
an hour. She was driving one hundred and twenty and
she would she took up to the Kansas City or
(05:33):
something to get the car right.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
They left the state. I don't know what state they
went to, but they left the state they lived in.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
I thought it was a Kansas city and they were
driving back on the highway racing each other.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Right, and the kids sixteen?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
And this isn't his first screw up with a car either.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Follow up that Detroit police officer he was, I think
it was charged last month with stealing six hundred bucks
from a suspect. They reviewed his body camera. Yeah, I
ratted him out. Dude is now arrested for that.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Oh uh whoops.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Police in Canada said there was a quote literally like
a literal traffic jam when a pickup lost his load
of freshly picked blueberries and spread them.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
All over the high Oh all right, this is kind
of wild. This woman is gone.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Well, she basically divided the entire internet on how to
butter the toast. Have you seen this no buttering technique?
She basically has her regular butter and then she has
a regular a different stick of butter she uses, and
when the toast comes out the oven with the toaster,
she takes the stick, pulls the wax paper back a
little bit and just layers the stick just rubs all over.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
The toast like a deodorant stick.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Lets chrumbs and everything is stated with it, and she
just wraps stick up, puts it in a little compartment
of fridge and that's her.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
That's your toast stick.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
It's dedicated to the toast.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yeah, got bread crumbs all over it next day.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Whatever, I'm like, I mean, it does seem easy.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Does she have a family, Like if it's just one
lone person, I kind of get it, Like, I'm sure
there's something that I say that I'm not thinking about that.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
I'm like, but she has a family. However, she has
a separate stash of butter for for things that you
need other butter, for other other than butter.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah, yeah, whatever, you know, right, So.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I'm not gonna post it.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
No, it's different, but I go go for it.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Looks gonna piss me off.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
I see somebody do it, like, get upset, write something
on the internet about it. No, you wouldn't make me upset.
Be this idiot an athlete trick people into thinking that
he had cancer with the worst selfie ever. Like in
the photo, you could clearly see that this dude has
an iPhone cord shoved up his nose. But that didn't
(08:05):
keep thousands of people from dishing out money. A sports
star is pleading guilty to fraud after sharing his selfie
showing an iPhone cable made to look like a hospital too.
But anybody it's ever seen that knows the difference, Like,
like you see.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
The part that plugs into the phone.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
I don't know why people didn't call this out, but
apparently this guy DJ Carey, one of Ireland's most famous
athletes and widely regarded as one of the greatest hurlers ever.
He's pleaded guilty to pretending to have cancer in order
to treat people into giving him money for fake medical treatment.
(08:45):
How can you ever trust anybody like that? The court
saying he's got mental issues. He doesn't have hell problem.
He's got some heart condition, but no, he didn't have cancer.
And you could clearly see it's not phone cable. Like
I almost feel like, hey, if you're dumbing up, this
ain't the money. Where the iPhone cables shoved up his nose,
it's your fault.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Looks like it's like a piece of masking tape.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
It's a bad band aid and it's on his God
almost see the Apple icon, It's like that's a phone
charge or what's he doing with that?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
It was nose all right, nature scenes.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Think about what else people using their phones abstract art,
you know, pictures of their car.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Kids, kids, family, that's normally your dog.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Don't really what you see on lock screens on a phone, right,
This dumb ass named Jesse Lawrence Hale. He's from Utah
and barely he left his phone behind at a hospital. Well,
the hospital workers found it. They turned they turned his
(09:52):
phone on and his lockscreen.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Was porn. Oh, like underage porn. So how stupid are
you that you have that as your wock screen.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Anyway, they unlocked his phone and it was full of
underage porn. And this is dude that left them behind
at hospital. H oh, I think you gotta be able
to shoot these people. Anyway, he made one of those
images his wallpaper and that's what busted him. They saw
it on his lock screen. They reported him last Thursday.
He got arrested after he walked into the police station
(10:31):
on Monday and asked about the phone. He claimed somebody
sent him the photo and said he should have deleted it.
He also said it would be quote nice to pay
a fine and take a class instead of going to jail.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Oh, this dude sure would be nice.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Yeah, uh yeah, he's not gonna survive in jail.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
They got a warrant to search his phone.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
They found more than twenty illegal photos on it at
that point, and he asked him just not to tell
his mom.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
He says he's got family in the area and he
didn't want them to find out.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Okay, his name is Jesse Lawrence Hail.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
They booked him on suspicion sexual exploitation of a minor
is a felony and should be shot the head for it. Lastly,
Amazon is well, they got a little explaining. Dude. This
woman in San Jose, California, she's been getting hundreds thousands
of Amazon packages over the last year and a half
(11:35):
and they all contained one thing, oversized fake leather car
seat covers made in China. Now, why has she been
getting all these fake seat covers?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Why all the seat covers?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Willy Well, I first should tell you it's not like
she's been getting one or two packages the fake seat
fake leather seat covers. She's received so many of these.
They're all over her front porchs, all down her hallway,
all over her very small, tiny backyard. They're stacked up
six feet tall to the privacy fens. The reason, well,
(12:12):
oh and she's complaining to Amazon. By the way, she's
called Amazon told her, you know, told Amazon that there's
this problem. Amazon has told her that they would stop.
They told her that, you know, she could dispose the
boxes herself or donate them whatever she wanted. She's she's
finally contact local news. They did a story about it.
(12:33):
Turns out, here's why she's getting all these boxes. Amazon
uses a lot of people out of the country to
use a lot of companies in China.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Right.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Well, the company that makes these quote fake leather seat
covers is out of China, and instead of them taking
all the returns back to that company, the company in
China made her address there turn address. Oh no, So
every one of these that were returned to this company
(13:07):
in China for being fake or whatever, we're being sent
to her.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
And this is people from all over the world.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
So that sucks.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
They apparently have taken care of the scenario. Now they
send an Amazon semi out to her house to collect
all those fake sea covers.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Wow, I don't they give her like a gift card too,
or something like for your inconvenience?
Speaker 3 (13:37):
So the company didn't want to these large boxes being
shipped back to them because they'd.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Have to pay for it, right, So you just they
just put her address.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Just dump them here. We don't we don't need them back,
Just dump them.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Can you imagine she said, like ten to fifteen of
these would show up a day.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I mean, it's cool if you're getting like random stuff,
it's almost like you're a porch pirate that doesn't have
to go anywhere. But if it's all the same thing
all the time, that would suck.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Dude, and not even think you could really use fake
leather seat covers?
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Who could use those?
Speaker 3 (14:07):
If it was like tumblers or right coolers or I
don't know, many fridges.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Oh fine, I'll just repurpose.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Them and seat covers when you do roll down to
a dealership and be like, hey, you want to put
seat covers on every one of your cars.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
I don't know, man, you gotta flip flop business, free
fake se fake leather seat covers.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Just set them out of the front lawn, man, as
many as you want. I don't know what you do
with them.