July 11, 2024 • 15 mins
When two families are becoming one, it is important to dive into what this means for where you will all call home. Shannon from Mojo in the Morning joins us to talk first-hand about her recent experience of navigating that tricky scenario of joining two families living in different counties and going to different school systems. From how early to start conversations about future housing needs to how to you help the family joining your existing home feel like it is there home as well, she is an advocate extending grace to all involved and leaning into the process.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
You are listening to the Remax realEstate Insights show, where you get real
talk by real agents, brought toyou by Remas of Southeastern Michigan. Well,
hello, and thank you for joiningus at the Remax real Estate Insights
Podcast. We're happy to have youlistening today. Today we're going to be
talking about blending families what that meanswhen it comes to where home is going
(00:21):
to be. Now, I justuse the term blended family, but all
too often it may feel like moreof a collision than a blending. And
a lot of it's going to haveto do with some conversations you may have
before trying to join households. I'myour host, Janet Schneider. I'm the
president of Remax of Southeastern Michigan,and I'm so excited to have with me
today a very special guest, Shannonfrom Mojo in the Morning is with me.
(00:44):
Shannon, welcome, Hi to knowHello. It's been a minute since
I've been on the podcast. Ithas so I'm excited to be back and
we're thrilled to have you back.And I don't think there's a better person
on the face of the earth rightnow to cover this topic, because right
before I hit record on recording this, Potts. She was telling me she's
actually recording this while other members ofthe family are moving. Yes, literally
(01:06):
as I'm speaking, they are movingat the moment. Yep. So it
was this was this plan so thatyou didn't have to carry those boxes,
you know, No, they itwasn't. I was on vacation last week
with my two kids, and Igot married back in May. So if
you don't listen to the Mojoy inthe morning show, I got married.
I've been married for all of aboutwhat two months? And my husband,
(01:30):
his name is Wes. He hastwo children as well, so four kids
combined, party of six is whatwe are now. And we yeah,
they he and his kids are movinginto my house right now. They started
moving when we were on vacation lastweek, and we're just doing like a
slow roll process. Yes, andthat's okay. So let's talk a little
(01:52):
bit about blending, because you know, you had a house in West had
a place, yes, yep.So at what point not to get too
personal, no, it's okay,But at what point in the relationship where
maybe you guys thought there's something here, did you guys start talking about what
this might look like down the road, Yeah, for sure. And that
happened kind of early on because youknow, it's second marriage obviously for both
(02:14):
of us, and so we kindof put everything out on the table and
we were very transparent with each other. And so we had a lot of
i would say, quote unquote dreamingconversations leading up to us actually getting engaged
and married and this becoming the realdeal. And so there were a lot
we thought about a lot of differentscenarios of where we could live, how
(02:38):
we could make certain things work,what would be the best case scenario and
most convenient and best fit for everybody, and so had we had a lot
of different options to consider. Sokind of first first thing out of what
I'm hearing you say is the firstthing is to be very transparent, you
know, be very upfront. Imean, if you're dealing with two different
you know, households, two differentsets of children coming from you know,
(03:00):
to previous marriages. But everybody hasreal estate involved, Yeah, we can't.
It's the elephant in the room.It's got to get talked about to
that degree. And not only doeseverybody have real estate involved, everybody has
feelings and emotions involved, yes,which is just I mean, you know,
that's a huge part of that conversation. It really is, I mean
and problem I mean adults as wellas kids. Yeah, I'm willing to
(03:21):
guess that kids really have emotional tiesto thing. Yes, yeah, yeah,
absolutely. And so as you startgoing down this road, how much
of you know, child input oryou know, bringing shepherding them into the
conversation started to happen. I mean, they were all four kiddos were involved
in a lot of the conversations thatwe had, and they were all you
(03:44):
know, they all gave their inputand their opinion and their thoughts about it.
Ultimately, the decision was mine,absolutely and uses, but we definitely
listened and we wanted to be asafe space for everybody to share what they
were feeling in terms of where wewere are gonna, you know, blend
our two families into one family andcame up with the scenario that we're in
(04:06):
right now. So I know fromyou you've done a little work with us
in the past, yeah kind of. And so I've seen, you know,
little little snippets of your house andlittle videos that you've done and things
of that nature, and you've createdan adorable hall. Thank you an adorable
hall. Thank you, I loveit. Now comes some new people,
yes, yeah? And is itas you have decorated it? Is it
(04:27):
stayed? So so this situation,So what happened to us was Wes and
his kids were living out on theeast Side, like in the Macomb area,
and we decided that because his twokids are older, he has a
senior in high school and a sophomorein high school, my kids are younger.
I have a first grader and afifth grader, so they are going
(04:48):
to be in the school district thatthey are currently in for a lot longer
than his kids are. His kidsalso drive, and so we kind of
played like, okay, we couldbuy a home in the middle and both
of us move. I was notgoing to move out to the east Side.
I just it's beautiful. I justknow nothing about it, and that
would be a huge, a hugehall for my kids, and so we
(05:11):
decided that we were going to staywhere I am currently and have been for
about a decade now. So itwas a matter of going, Okay,
where is everybody going to go firstand foremost, and we found space for
everybody. And as for the decorating, I will be super honest with you.
(05:32):
I you know, Wes is he'sa really how do I say this?
He is like a fashionable, trendywith it guy. His house was
really cute, really well put together. There's a reason you were attracted to
for sure. But there were certainthings when we were dating that I was
like, So those lamps like thosewe could we could totally sell those,
(05:54):
right, Like, there are alot of things he is not bringing much.
I think his style very much matchesmine, and a lot of his
stuff he just kind of threw together, you know, being a single dad,
and so he he's wonderful honestly andis like, no, I like
your aesthetic, so we we're keepinga lot of it. Well that's good,
I mean because otherwise he ask kindof the hints of you know,
Facebook marketplace is a great which we'redoing a lot of. So if you
(06:16):
need a sectional beds, a kitchentable, you just reach out to me.
Perfect we'll see there you go,now you have it. I wanted
to go back to the emotions thatplan because I mean, interesting that you've
got kids that kind of two differentphases. Obviously, for sure, you've
got kids that are you know,grade school age versus high school age and
the emotions that they may or maynot have attached to change can be very
(06:39):
different. Yeah, how are thechildren from your husband, How are they
dealing with the move, because itseems like on the surface they're a little
more impacted, but they're older tobe able to handle that. Yeah,
they're awesome. I mean, we'redefinitely fielding some emotions, but we wanted
them to be a major part inthe of the process. So, for
example, my step daughter Samantha,we're designed her room together, and we
(07:00):
did like a built in vanity forher, and we readed her bathroom and
she's picking out like a new bedand a cozy reading chair, and we're
doing all of those things together.So she feels like she designed this room
that is going to be hers forthe next couple of years while she's in
high school. Same thing with mystepson. Also, little things like they
are a family that really values fitness, and so when Wes was like,
(07:24):
I'm going to redo the garage andput a gym in the garage, I
thought, absolutely not, that isnot happening. But the more and more
we had conversations about it, He'slike, this will make us feel like
this is our home, Like,you know, we're coming into a home
where we kind of feel like we'reinvading at this point. So anything that
we can do to put some workinto the home. And truly that's what
they did last week, Jeanette.They all three of them surprised us,
(07:46):
but they built a gym that reallywas a labor of love for them.
But that also makes what was myhome feel more like their home as well
well. And I think those areimportant steps to make right. Yeah,
And like you said, because nobodywants to feel like they're the guest at
something. I mean, if thisis your permit, it's one thing if
you're truly our state in somebody's housefor a week, but if this is
going to be where you're coming homeevery day, you don't want to feel
(08:07):
like I'm treading on somebody else's ground. And how cool that they now have
this memory of what they've created atyour home. Yeah, yeah, well
in a testament to you that youknow, hey, I kind of feel
the same way. I can havean initial reaction to something which and it
was strong, but now I'm like, it's this is really really cool.
Yeah, it's cool. And sometimesif you take a step back and you
know, and just recognize. Okay, that's my initial reaction. Let me
(08:28):
think about it, because I evenknow, like with with my husband,
not so much. In the housewe just moved into. We had more
space, more space than we neededin our previous house. But even then,
like if he'd find something that hereally really liked, the joke was
it can go in his den,his bathroom or the base the basement.
Yeah, yeah, he was,can anything that I like be in another
part of the house, But itreally kind of fits those other rooms,
(08:50):
don't you say? So perfectly?Yeah? Yeah, so that's kind of
that's kind of funny. So nowhas West sold his house yet or is
he waiting to put it on themarket. So he actually sold his house
last year and he's been living ina condo with his kids at the halfway
point, ok so they're in Rochesterright now, so they're kind of like
crawling towards the rare. I am, but we wanted to do that so
(09:13):
that the kids got used to alittle bit of a longer drive to school.
We also thought that we would usethe money from the sale of his
home to put an addition on myhouse, and then once we kind of
went through the finances of that,we decided against it and instead put the
money in other areas of renovating bathroomsand just doing things that are making the
house a little bit more, alittle bit cozier for us. Well,
(09:33):
I mean, it is fun whenyou sell a house and you have a
little money to play with. RYeah, I mean, and that was
our intention with that. Yeah.Absolutely. So what's been the most fun
project that you've done so far?I'm trying to think, honestly, the
outside. We've had a ton offun and everybody's kind of you know,
got in their hands dirty doing likehelping make our outdoor spaces spaces where we
(09:58):
can all hang out as a family. This is sound secily. I've never
had like a dining table outside,and so we bought that and we all
put it together and made our patiojust a really fun space and we set
out there all the time and it'sjust a really good it's it creates some
really good moments for us, notonly as a family of six, but
also for everybody to feel comfortable bringingtheir friends over and hanging out. Well,
(10:22):
and how cool because if you didn'thave that before and now this really
is something you're kind of sharing forthe first time as a group. It's
not like you had it now they'recoming to the table. Yeah this is
new. Yeah, it's new foryou know, the three of you.
Yeah, that have been a familyunit beforehand. So have there been any
any bumps along the way that youcould give advice, Like for somebody that
might be going through the sets listeningright now where they're getting ready to you
(10:43):
know, whether it's just two peoplecoming together with two different households or families
with children, because I think thatadds a lot when you're talking to school
and stuff like that. Any bumpsalong the road that you'd have advice for
some other thing? Sure, Imean the two words that come to mind
are be compassionate and lean in.I think that you have to understand and
I've had this, you know,I've had to learn this lesson over and
(11:05):
over and over again. But everybodyis dealing with their own emotions, whether
you're the one moving, whether you'rethe one having people see it into your
home. You know, the littlestcomment can be magnified by a million and
it can mean so much more tosomebody else, even if that was not
your intention. So just be mindful, give a whole bunch of grace.
(11:26):
You know. I keep thinking aboutlike everybody is learning where everything is and
how to coexist with one another,and it is going to be bumpy in
the beginning, and it's it's nevergoing to be perfect, but it's especially
going to be bumpy in the beginning. And this is just this is how
you do it. You know you'reall in. You're all in at this
(11:48):
point. Well, and I thinkthat you gave good advice. Is you
know, moving is stressful under thebest of circumstances, right, and when
everybody wants to do this, it'sstill stressful. There's you know, you
still have a job, you stillhave all your response on abilities you had.
Now you're whether you're packing or unpacking, and you're reading legal documents and
all the things that comes with themove. You know, it adds the
stress on there. And now,I mean, I was just thinking talking
(12:09):
to my best friend last night becauseshe still has a she's got a high
schooler in the house, but thenshe's got two like college aids that are
still living kind of living at home. Still they're buying their own food.
You know, they're trying to helpout kind of bringing food in, but
they're not labeling it. So thenif somebody else, you know, eats
their chips, you know, nowit's becoming and you know, kind of
becoming an issue. She's like,so, I mean even within a an
(12:33):
existing family unit, you know,there can be kind of these stresses on
different things. Yes, the foodthing's so funny because my kids eat nothing
except for like chicken nuggets. Andyou know, Junk and his kids are
teenagers, they and they have friendsover. Oh my gosh, the amount
of food that, yes, Iam not used to that. It's so
funny. Even like when I hadmy earlier in the year after we moved,
(12:56):
it just kind of worked out.My niece, who goes to school
out of state, happened to beswinging through on a choir tour, so
we had her for the night andthen she's got a corner allergy and so
then like I was going to thestore, you know, looking for it.
I mean, I didn't really everpay attention to that, and so
you'll buy her a bunch of stuffthat she could eat, and like two
weeks later her brother came down andit's just like, yeah, the amount
of food. I'm like, yeah, I'm kind of like, you know,
(13:16):
the granola bar queen, the youknow granola queen. I don't need
much, just that in a fewgrapes. I'm good, you know,
type of girl diner. Yeah,Like all of a sudden, I'm like,
wow, I can see where peoplespend a lot of money and need
a lot of counter space in thekitchen. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
for sure. So, so bathroomsituation working out? Okay, every bathroom
showers, yeah, everybody. Everybodyhas their bathrooms, except for my little
(13:39):
guy Smith, who's like, Istill have to use your bathroom, Mom.
I'm like, yes you do.We don't have not everybody has their
own bathroom, buddy. But yeah, so bathroom situation so far has been
pretty good. We actually renovated twobathrooms to be able to make that work.
So that's good so far. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well I'm
so excited for you. We're sohappy be for you first or poles,
(14:01):
for the for the marriage, andthat you've got this great, you know,
extended new family that you're going tobe part of. You get so
much. All sorts of firsts comein your way, right with school starting
and then all the holiday season andyou know, as a family unit.
You've got a lot of fun tolook forward to. I think so too,
And we're just again, thank youso much for being willing to do
this and sharing because we know whatyou've gone through. So many people go
(14:22):
through, you know, taking alook, and I think that the advice
you said at the beginning, youknow where you kind of threw things on
the table and I'm gonna I don'twant to put words in your mouth,
but I'm saying I'm guessing that youguys kind of said you had these dream
sessions where kind of you could throwout ideas and nothing was off, nothing
was off, and very very honestand some of those things are hard to
hear and hard to wade through,but there it's so important that you're transparent
(14:46):
with everything you're thinking and feeling inthese in these situation. So, by
the way, if anybody listening,if you have advice or not that I
am not an expert at this,but if you want somebody to talk to
about it, please reach out tome. You can find me on Instagram.
I'm at Cupcake Shannon. I wouldI would love, love love to
connect with you on this topic.Well, absolutely, because there are certainly
people that have been down this pathbefore. You are not the first and
(15:09):
now we can always learn absolutely peoplethat have gone before, and that's what
you're doing for other listeners. Soagain, thanks Shannon. Shannon from Mojo
in the Morning's been our special guesttoday. We've been so excited to have
you here. Thanks, take careand have a great summer. Thank you
you too, Welcome and for thoseof you listening, as always, we
appreciate your tuning in and listening withus. We know the next couple of
weeks are often really busy with peoplemoving, as Shannon just attested to,
(15:33):
especially if you've got school age kids, they like to get moved before school
starts. So a couple of ourupcoming episodes are going to deal with moving
tips, so stay tuned for that. We'll be talking to you soon.
Take care. We hope you enjoytoday's episode. Don't forget to subscribe,
write a review, or rate theshow as it helps us reach more people.
You can also follow us on Facebookand Instagram.
You are listening to the Remax realEstate Insights show, where you get real
talk by real agents, brought toyou by Remas of Southeastern Michigan. Well,
hello, and thank you for joiningus at the Remax real Estate Insights
Podcast. We're happy to have youlistening today. Today we're going to be
talking about blending families what that meanswhen it comes to where home is going
(00:21):
to be. Now, I justuse the term blended family, but all
too often it may feel like moreof a collision than a blending. And
a lot of it's going to haveto do with some conversations you may have
before trying to join households. I'myour host, Janet Schneider. I'm the
president of Remax of Southeastern Michigan,and I'm so excited to have with me
today a very special guest, Shannonfrom Mojo in the Morning is with me.
(00:44):
Shannon, welcome, Hi to knowHello. It's been a minute since
I've been on the podcast. Ithas so I'm excited to be back and
we're thrilled to have you back.And I don't think there's a better person
on the face of the earth rightnow to cover this topic, because right
before I hit record on recording this, Potts. She was telling me she's
actually recording this while other members ofthe family are moving. Yes, literally
(01:06):
as I'm speaking, they are movingat the moment. Yep. So it
was this was this plan so thatyou didn't have to carry those boxes,
you know, No, they itwasn't. I was on vacation last week
with my two kids, and Igot married back in May. So if
you don't listen to the Mojoy inthe morning show, I got married.
I've been married for all of aboutwhat two months? And my husband,
(01:30):
his name is Wes. He hastwo children as well, so four kids
combined, party of six is whatwe are now. And we yeah,
they he and his kids are movinginto my house right now. They started
moving when we were on vacation lastweek, and we're just doing like a
slow roll process. Yes, andthat's okay. So let's talk a little
(01:52):
bit about blending, because you know, you had a house in West had
a place, yes, yep.So at what point not to get too
personal, no, it's okay,But at what point in the relationship where
maybe you guys thought there's something here, did you guys start talking about what
this might look like down the road, Yeah, for sure. And that
happened kind of early on because youknow, it's second marriage obviously for both
(02:14):
of us, and so we kindof put everything out on the table and
we were very transparent with each other. And so we had a lot of
i would say, quote unquote dreamingconversations leading up to us actually getting engaged
and married and this becoming the realdeal. And so there were a lot
we thought about a lot of differentscenarios of where we could live, how
(02:38):
we could make certain things work,what would be the best case scenario and
most convenient and best fit for everybody, and so had we had a lot
of different options to consider. Sokind of first first thing out of what
I'm hearing you say is the firstthing is to be very transparent, you
know, be very upfront. Imean, if you're dealing with two different
you know, households, two differentsets of children coming from you know,
(03:00):
to previous marriages. But everybody hasreal estate involved, Yeah, we can't.
It's the elephant in the room.It's got to get talked about to
that degree. And not only doeseverybody have real estate involved, everybody has
feelings and emotions involved, yes,which is just I mean, you know,
that's a huge part of that conversation. It really is, I mean
and problem I mean adults as wellas kids. Yeah, I'm willing to
(03:21):
guess that kids really have emotional tiesto thing. Yes, yeah, yeah,
absolutely. And so as you startgoing down this road, how much
of you know, child input oryou know, bringing shepherding them into the
conversation started to happen. I mean, they were all four kiddos were involved
in a lot of the conversations thatwe had, and they were all you
(03:44):
know, they all gave their inputand their opinion and their thoughts about it.
Ultimately, the decision was mine,absolutely and uses, but we definitely
listened and we wanted to be asafe space for everybody to share what they
were feeling in terms of where wewere are gonna, you know, blend
our two families into one family andcame up with the scenario that we're in
(04:06):
right now. So I know fromyou you've done a little work with us
in the past, yeah kind of. And so I've seen, you know,
little little snippets of your house andlittle videos that you've done and things
of that nature, and you've createdan adorable hall. Thank you an adorable
hall. Thank you, I loveit. Now comes some new people,
yes, yeah? And is itas you have decorated it? Is it
(04:27):
stayed? So so this situation,So what happened to us was Wes and
his kids were living out on theeast Side, like in the Macomb area,
and we decided that because his twokids are older, he has a
senior in high school and a sophomorein high school, my kids are younger.
I have a first grader and afifth grader, so they are going
(04:48):
to be in the school district thatthey are currently in for a lot longer
than his kids are. His kidsalso drive, and so we kind of
played like, okay, we couldbuy a home in the middle and both
of us move. I was notgoing to move out to the east Side.
I just it's beautiful. I justknow nothing about it, and that
would be a huge, a hugehall for my kids, and so we
(05:11):
decided that we were going to staywhere I am currently and have been for
about a decade now. So itwas a matter of going, Okay,
where is everybody going to go firstand foremost, and we found space for
everybody. And as for the decorating, I will be super honest with you.
(05:32):
I you know, Wes is he'sa really how do I say this?
He is like a fashionable, trendywith it guy. His house was
really cute, really well put together. There's a reason you were attracted to
for sure. But there were certainthings when we were dating that I was
like, So those lamps like thosewe could we could totally sell those,
(05:54):
right, Like, there are alot of things he is not bringing much.
I think his style very much matchesmine, and a lot of his
stuff he just kind of threw together, you know, being a single dad,
and so he he's wonderful honestly andis like, no, I like
your aesthetic, so we we're keepinga lot of it. Well that's good,
I mean because otherwise he ask kindof the hints of you know,
Facebook marketplace is a great which we'redoing a lot of. So if you
(06:16):
need a sectional beds, a kitchentable, you just reach out to me.
Perfect we'll see there you go,now you have it. I wanted
to go back to the emotions thatplan because I mean, interesting that you've
got kids that kind of two differentphases. Obviously, for sure, you've
got kids that are you know,grade school age versus high school age and
the emotions that they may or maynot have attached to change can be very
(06:39):
different. Yeah, how are thechildren from your husband, How are they
dealing with the move, because itseems like on the surface they're a little
more impacted, but they're older tobe able to handle that. Yeah,
they're awesome. I mean, we'redefinitely fielding some emotions, but we wanted
them to be a major part inthe of the process. So, for
example, my step daughter Samantha,we're designed her room together, and we
(07:00):
did like a built in vanity forher, and we readed her bathroom and
she's picking out like a new bedand a cozy reading chair, and we're
doing all of those things together.So she feels like she designed this room
that is going to be hers forthe next couple of years while she's in
high school. Same thing with mystepson. Also, little things like they
are a family that really values fitness, and so when Wes was like,
(07:24):
I'm going to redo the garage andput a gym in the garage, I
thought, absolutely not, that isnot happening. But the more and more
we had conversations about it, He'slike, this will make us feel like
this is our home, Like,you know, we're coming into a home
where we kind of feel like we'reinvading at this point. So anything that
we can do to put some workinto the home. And truly that's what
they did last week, Jeanette.They all three of them surprised us,
(07:46):
but they built a gym that reallywas a labor of love for them.
But that also makes what was myhome feel more like their home as well
well. And I think those areimportant steps to make right. Yeah,
And like you said, because nobodywants to feel like they're the guest at
something. I mean, if thisis your permit, it's one thing if
you're truly our state in somebody's housefor a week, but if this is
going to be where you're coming homeevery day, you don't want to feel
(08:07):
like I'm treading on somebody else's ground. And how cool that they now have
this memory of what they've created atyour home. Yeah, yeah, well
in a testament to you that youknow, hey, I kind of feel
the same way. I can havean initial reaction to something which and it
was strong, but now I'm like, it's this is really really cool.
Yeah, it's cool. And sometimesif you take a step back and you
know, and just recognize. Okay, that's my initial reaction. Let me
(08:28):
think about it, because I evenknow, like with with my husband,
not so much. In the housewe just moved into. We had more
space, more space than we neededin our previous house. But even then,
like if he'd find something that hereally really liked, the joke was
it can go in his den,his bathroom or the base the basement.
Yeah, yeah, he was,can anything that I like be in another
part of the house, But itreally kind of fits those other rooms,
(08:50):
don't you say? So perfectly?Yeah? Yeah, so that's kind of
that's kind of funny. So nowhas West sold his house yet or is
he waiting to put it on themarket. So he actually sold his house
last year and he's been living ina condo with his kids at the halfway
point, ok so they're in Rochesterright now, so they're kind of like
crawling towards the rare. I am, but we wanted to do that so
(09:13):
that the kids got used to alittle bit of a longer drive to school.
We also thought that we would usethe money from the sale of his
home to put an addition on myhouse, and then once we kind of
went through the finances of that,we decided against it and instead put the
money in other areas of renovating bathroomsand just doing things that are making the
house a little bit more, alittle bit cozier for us. Well,
(09:33):
I mean, it is fun whenyou sell a house and you have a
little money to play with. RYeah, I mean, and that was
our intention with that. Yeah.Absolutely. So what's been the most fun
project that you've done so far?I'm trying to think, honestly, the
outside. We've had a ton offun and everybody's kind of you know,
got in their hands dirty doing likehelping make our outdoor spaces spaces where we
(09:58):
can all hang out as a family. This is sound secily. I've never
had like a dining table outside,and so we bought that and we all
put it together and made our patiojust a really fun space and we set
out there all the time and it'sjust a really good it's it creates some
really good moments for us, notonly as a family of six, but
also for everybody to feel comfortable bringingtheir friends over and hanging out. Well,
(10:22):
and how cool because if you didn'thave that before and now this really
is something you're kind of sharing forthe first time as a group. It's
not like you had it now they'recoming to the table. Yeah this is
new. Yeah, it's new foryou know, the three of you.
Yeah, that have been a familyunit beforehand. So have there been any
any bumps along the way that youcould give advice, Like for somebody that
might be going through the sets listeningright now where they're getting ready to you
(10:43):
know, whether it's just two peoplecoming together with two different households or families
with children, because I think thatadds a lot when you're talking to school
and stuff like that. Any bumpsalong the road that you'd have advice for
some other thing? Sure, Imean the two words that come to mind
are be compassionate and lean in.I think that you have to understand and
I've had this, you know,I've had to learn this lesson over and
(11:05):
over and over again. But everybodyis dealing with their own emotions, whether
you're the one moving, whether you'rethe one having people see it into your
home. You know, the littlestcomment can be magnified by a million and
it can mean so much more tosomebody else, even if that was not
your intention. So just be mindful, give a whole bunch of grace.
(11:26):
You know. I keep thinking aboutlike everybody is learning where everything is and
how to coexist with one another,and it is going to be bumpy in
the beginning, and it's it's nevergoing to be perfect, but it's especially
going to be bumpy in the beginning. And this is just this is how
you do it. You know you'reall in. You're all in at this
(11:48):
point. Well, and I thinkthat you gave good advice. Is you
know, moving is stressful under thebest of circumstances, right, and when
everybody wants to do this, it'sstill stressful. There's you know, you
still have a job, you stillhave all your response on abilities you had.
Now you're whether you're packing or unpacking, and you're reading legal documents and
all the things that comes with themove. You know, it adds the
stress on there. And now,I mean, I was just thinking talking
(12:09):
to my best friend last night becauseshe still has a she's got a high
schooler in the house, but thenshe's got two like college aids that are
still living kind of living at home. Still they're buying their own food.
You know, they're trying to helpout kind of bringing food in, but
they're not labeling it. So thenif somebody else, you know, eats
their chips, you know, nowit's becoming and you know, kind of
becoming an issue. She's like,so, I mean even within a an
(12:33):
existing family unit, you know,there can be kind of these stresses on
different things. Yes, the foodthing's so funny because my kids eat nothing
except for like chicken nuggets. Andyou know, Junk and his kids are
teenagers, they and they have friendsover. Oh my gosh, the amount
of food that, yes, Iam not used to that. It's so
funny. Even like when I hadmy earlier in the year after we moved,
(12:56):
it just kind of worked out.My niece, who goes to school
out of state, happened to beswinging through on a choir tour, so
we had her for the night andthen she's got a corner allergy and so
then like I was going to thestore, you know, looking for it.
I mean, I didn't really everpay attention to that, and so
you'll buy her a bunch of stuffthat she could eat, and like two
weeks later her brother came down andit's just like, yeah, the amount
of food. I'm like, yeah, I'm kind of like, you know,
(13:16):
the granola bar queen, the youknow granola queen. I don't need
much, just that in a fewgrapes. I'm good, you know,
type of girl diner. Yeah,Like all of a sudden, I'm like,
wow, I can see where peoplespend a lot of money and need
a lot of counter space in thekitchen. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
for sure. So, so bathroomsituation working out? Okay, every bathroom
showers, yeah, everybody. Everybodyhas their bathrooms, except for my little
(13:39):
guy Smith, who's like, Istill have to use your bathroom, Mom.
I'm like, yes you do.We don't have not everybody has their
own bathroom, buddy. But yeah, so bathroom situation so far has been
pretty good. We actually renovated twobathrooms to be able to make that work.
So that's good so far. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well I'm
so excited for you. We're sohappy be for you first or poles,
(14:01):
for the for the marriage, andthat you've got this great, you know,
extended new family that you're going tobe part of. You get so
much. All sorts of firsts comein your way, right with school starting
and then all the holiday season andyou know, as a family unit.
You've got a lot of fun tolook forward to. I think so too,
And we're just again, thank youso much for being willing to do
this and sharing because we know whatyou've gone through. So many people go
(14:22):
through, you know, taking alook, and I think that the advice
you said at the beginning, youknow where you kind of threw things on
the table and I'm gonna I don'twant to put words in your mouth,
but I'm saying I'm guessing that youguys kind of said you had these dream
sessions where kind of you could throwout ideas and nothing was off, nothing
was off, and very very honestand some of those things are hard to
hear and hard to wade through,but there it's so important that you're transparent
(14:46):
with everything you're thinking and feeling inthese in these situation. So, by
the way, if anybody listening,if you have advice or not that I
am not an expert at this,but if you want somebody to talk to
about it, please reach out tome. You can find me on Instagram.
I'm at Cupcake Shannon. I wouldI would love, love love to
connect with you on this topic.Well, absolutely, because there are certainly
people that have been down this pathbefore. You are not the first and
(15:09):
now we can always learn absolutely peoplethat have gone before, and that's what
you're doing for other listeners. Soagain, thanks Shannon. Shannon from Mojo
in the Morning's been our special guesttoday. We've been so excited to have
you here. Thanks, take careand have a great summer. Thank you
you too, Welcome and for thoseof you listening, as always, we
appreciate your tuning in and listening withus. We know the next couple of
weeks are often really busy with peoplemoving, as Shannon just attested to,
(15:33):
especially if you've got school age kids, they like to get moved before school
starts. So a couple of ourupcoming episodes are going to deal with moving
tips, so stay tuned for that. We'll be talking to you soon.
Take care. We hope you enjoytoday's episode. Don't forget to subscribe,
write a review, or rate theshow as it helps us reach more people.
You can also follow us on Facebookand Instagram.
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