March 26, 2025 • 52 mins
Mandi, Yanely, and Chris are celebrating milestones, unpacking celebrity controversies, and diving deep into the relationship between ambition and self-worth. WHEW. Yep. We go there!
BTW, why is Jonathan Majors all over our feeds and how is Meagan Good single-handedly holding up his career rn? We explore the fine line between talent appreciation and moral responsibility in entertainment.
Finally, we dive into ambition and self-worth. Through personal stories and therapy insights, we reflect on how ambition is often fueled by trauma and can be reshaped into something healthier and more sustainable.
Don't forget to RATE and REVIEW the show on Apple Podcasts and Spotify! It's essential to keep us growing and let everyone know how they can join the BA Fam.
Stay connected:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
All right, be a fam, welcome back. I am back
with the Brown Table, and I have my friends, my
BA fam in person, well kind of virtually, but in person.
We got Yon Nelly Ivy League educated, the Humble hot
Shot from Brooklyn, New York.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Intro.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I don't know why I went, Maybe because George Foreman
just passed. So I was channeling like some boxing energy.
Rip you're not mad at him dying, well.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Not mad at the energy.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
And also something okay, gotcha rip to the girl master
of all girl masters. He really did his big one
for like college students circa two thousand.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
And every book out and every barbecue and every black
party in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yeah, you can make two paninis at a time. But
you know, oh man, I inherited my parents, George Foreman, Griddle.
I think they had like other things than just like
the press. The Michael Scott, you know, the one that
I forgot to introduce Chris and Chris.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I was like, at some point I'll get introduced. I
wasn't going to rush it, but I was like the
riddle speaking.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Of Brown University, where our Ivy League Humble Hot Shot
attended college. We're also joined by Chris Brown NG look
at that brown ambition.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
I don't I to tell people my family is the
huge donor, say university, but we get you changing up
a little bit that way. They don't know directly that
it's my family.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
But you know that's right.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Listen, clown college. You no, that's like a triple brown
brown ambition, Brown University. Yes, brown.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
We only brought a brown university because I'm drinking from
my little college cup. And I was like, hold on,
now they're not paying me to promote it, so let
me cover it. But now we're promoting them anyway, so.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I mean half her back. Maybe they can pay you
to speak, and then it's all symbiotic. It's all connected,
you know what.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Actually I should have put that as my brown boost.
But they did buy a bunch of my books and
create an intro to personal financial literacy and the markets
for freshman seminar.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yeh, nelly, that's kind of cool.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Oh but seriously, I was literally in tears. I was like, wait,
hold up, my book is all the sentiments.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
When are you gonna get your own library? When's that
going to happen?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I have to figure that out.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
But got state schools, all right, So what's happening in
the world. We mentioned George Foreman passed away. Why am
I seeing Jonathan Major's face all over my feet everywhere
I live?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Girl? Because Meghan Goood is because Meghan Good is a
you know is what is? She just like doubly famous.
I just feel like there was a moment where people
were kind of like upset and like over him, didn't
want and then Meghan bought him back.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I just because what She's America's black sweetheart and now
he gets to benefit.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
She was scared for her. I feel like she was
everybody's nineties like dreamgirl, even mine.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I mean, and it is still is Megan When her
and bow Wow did that one movie with skating, what
was it they were skating? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Anyway, it's making good, I mean, but they do seem happy.
And I know this controversy around him and his violent
passed and domestic issues.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
With everybody and every celebrity couple seems happy, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, I don't know. I guess a little bit that
I have seen. But then again, I'm a hater because
I didn't like Rihanna with ASAP, So I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
But oh what an a SAP do?
Speaker 3 (03:26):
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
He just had some he had some ignorant interviews in
the past that I had seen, and I just wouldn't
let him go where he said some very misogynistic shit.
But you know what, maybe that was his eighteen nineteen
year old self. I don't know, but I just initially
when I heard the news, I was like, come on,
she can do way better. But then everybody in my
family was like, leave alone. She's happy, you're hating, And so.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I know, I think we do. We care. We love Rihanna,
and we love making goods so much that you just
want it to be good on that.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Perfect man because they're the perfect women, so they need
perfect men. I don't know, that's just me. I just like,
come on, ladies, like we.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Need What do you think about Jonathan Majors. Does someone
like Chris as a because I know as a female,
I'm just like dead dead it dead it Yeah, And
and he does. It's more than rumor. It's it's like,
you know, there's been leaked audio, there's been footage, like
you know he was arrested, yes, yeah, so, but yeah,
(04:21):
I'm wondering Chris, like do you think about that? Or
you would you pay for a Jonathan Major's movie ticket.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
You know, well, first of all, violence to gets women
by man never okay, So let me just throw that
out there.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
You can never do that. That's what my dad thought me.
Correct its coming up, that's just you don't do that.
You never do that.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
But after that came out, I was like, you know,
I can't support this. So, you know, is he a
good actor, yes, but I mean there's a lot of
other good actors and there's always an option to choose
what you want to go watch and who you want
to support. So to me, I'm like, hey, it's not
that hard to be like, you know what, I'm good.
I don't need to go see him in the movie
right now. But I think he's in the news because
he has I think his movie, which I thought was
(05:01):
an old movie, but it was like coming out and
that's why.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
It was old because they couldn't release it because that's
when he was arrested and that's why they delayed it.
So now so a couple of years later, they're like,
is it is it safe now? Can we poke our
heads out?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Did people forget? Is it old news?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
That's that's it, and that's when they intern it. Has
a short memory.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
It kind of get throw like, you know, pushing under
the rug and then people are just gonna come back
out and see if they're okay again.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
That's right, Honestly. I also think it has to do
with the level of talent of the person, like and
how much like I do think Jonathan Major's he, I mean,
objectively speaking, an incredible actor, you know, so intense on
the screen like he and I can see like the
(05:49):
how his career was just like taking off and taking off,
and I feel like in it on a time where
we have so few. I mean, there's some like incredible
blackmail actors, but we just lost chap Chapwick, those men,
it feels like just yesterday, and you know, you don't
want to see one of the few go down like that.
But I do feel like if they're really really talented,
I mean, Chris Brown is still selling out shows.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
That's what I understanding, Because one, he messed up my
name years ago, because I think we're Almos sage my
entire life, He's messed up my name and I'm.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Like, how is he back famous again? I thought he
was dead.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I thought, Wow, Chris Brown's that old, Yes.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Don't you remember when he came out and he was like,
I'm just fifteen? Is not that one of his lyrics?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I don't even I don't ever go looking for him,
so I don't know what he looks like anymore.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
He was a baby when he came out at fifteen.
So yes, even if it's been twenty years, the man
is still making music because he started so young.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Heyh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
There you go. He started at fifteen twenty years that
was right, But it's so true. I do think, honestly,
when I'm talking to a lot of people in my experience,
which is obviously very anecdotal, a lot of the younger
I want to I want to say generation. Younger girls
in particular concerned me because they overlook a lot of
the stuff around Chris Brown and make excuses and say,
(07:02):
oh no, but but but but, like he's twenty twenty three,
twenty up to twenty five, twenty six years old girls,
And I'm like, why are you still on Kris Brown
like that, going to his concerts, doing all this and
his music? Oh no, no, I love Chris Brown. I
don't know. And it's like, okay, is it a generational thing?
I'm not really sure what it is, but I mean,
we'll make excuses out the wall zoof of this man.
(07:23):
So I I, you know, it's just an observation that
I have noted.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
I thow time, right, because like he if you're if
you're young enough, right, that happened when they were probably
even like maybe not even live or a little baby.
It's kind of like a grade.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Third grade, righte Wahlberg.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
He just some crazy stuff, but happens so long ago.
People are just like, you know, they don't think about
it anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
So voided out. Probably, I just feel like what Jonathan what?
What bothers me the most is his like he's he's
almost adopted this persona of like some kind of like
I don't know, reform Yogi master. Like he's just like
so he's like this forced again. I keep going back
to the quote that came out from that trial where
(08:05):
he had told his girlfriend she needed to be like
the credit to his MLK, to his Martin Luther King junior,
and be that level of poise and stature. And I
see he's like putting on that show as he is
this like dignified you know, actor, this this this dignified
you know, performer and creator and it just comes off
(08:27):
so forced and so it's so much bullshit. I don't
I don't feel any humility, you know, I don't feel
the wow I hit rock bottom, I begged I I
you know, it's like Harry said to Voldemort, like try
for some remorse home skillet, like before you know, I
eat that wand out of your hand, and your own
(08:47):
rebounding death curse kills you like I need him. I
think redemption, the path to redemption is painful. It should
be painful. There should be remorse, there should be statements,
there should be work, active work. He has an opportunity
to rehabilitate himself publicly and to actually be an incredible
(09:09):
example for other men who have chosen violence and have
not have not healed them healed their inner demons, and
and you know, and he has an opportunity to do that.
And I feel like until I see that level of
humility and grace like in the meantime.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Though, I mean, or really any level, because I.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Will be clicking away.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Didn't it just get swept onto the rug? Like I
don't think he has.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
I'm engaged now, yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Crying on whatever show to tell you how she means
so much to me, and it's like, wait, did you
just get a whole? What happened in between? It was
like nothing there was. They just swept it under the rug,
I feel like, and it wasn't really addressed, at least
not by him and his pr folks.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, no, thank you. I need an apology tour. I
need a good one. What else is happening? Can we can?
I confess something? Girl?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Go?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
I want to confess us. What am I gonna do
about my Tesla? Y'all? What am I going to do?
I feel like such a fucking clown.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I meant it before.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
I was literally thinking about that on the ride. I'm like,
is there a bumper sticker I could put on this
car before you before you slash my tires?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Please?
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Please?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
It's paid off. I've had it since twenty twenty one?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Like, please? Is U?
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Did you see the thing where? I think it's a
company called Polestar They do the other electric car. I
think they're under Volkswagon or Vobo. I forgot the company that,
but they're offering incentives for people to trade in their
Tesla's if they want to come over.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I need one of those. I need Rivian I would
love a Rivian because, you know, like I feel like
Rivian is now the progressive. I feel like brands are
so politicized now.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Totally benefiting from Tesla's downfall, totally exactly. You know, my
boyfriend's brother works at let me not play his business all.
He does work at Rivan though, But it's so funny, girl.
I'll look you what if you want to make it happen,
I got you.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I would, I would g I will publicly, like you know,
put my car, put the Tesla in like one of
those machine like metal shredders. I'll do whatever, you know,
like for to do a stunt like that to get
a different car, because I I feel gross. I feel
gross riding around in that.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
You definitely need a ghost machine. Go to a black
owned business that does like custom stickers and get one
that says I bought this before Elon went crazy, and
then you're supporting a black owned business. Is creative business
and making sure people know your position, covering yourself because.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I don't want to just get rid of the whole
thing now, but but at scene.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Time, while you're in you need something to let people know.
Putting nothing on your Tesla and just leaving it parked
outside in New York City is dangerous.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Yeah, I just wanted to make it look like that,
like it's a niece, like a Nissan and logo to
be like alt or something like that.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
That's kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I would let them slide on that. That's kind of funny.
They doing something, you know, as opposed to literally doing
nothing where you don't have any stickers. You don't you
act like, oh, there's nothing. That to me is a
little bizarre because now you just don't think there's anything wrong.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I feel like people. I can feel the parents drop
at kids school pickup and drop off. I can feel
other drivers looking in the car to see who's driving it.
And I'm just like, I'm a black woman. I must say, like,
I know it's incongruous, like I would explain it to you,
but I don't have time and like just to see
the like, oh, I'm gonna get a sticker, all right,
(12:41):
but what's this pollstar? People like what kind of car
is that?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
What am I gonna be talking about it? But look,
I don't know is it evy? You gotta say yes,
you have to go test driving versus a rivie because
otherwise you won't know right, like you just gotta go
test driver. But everyone is talking about full Star, like
this is the one I want that Montesla. I've seen
that a couple different, in particular black women, black women
that I'm friends with, who have posted that.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Okayy want to help the other black woman who's your friend.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
She's a doctor too, so you know, trying. She's trying
to not look like she pulls up to the hospital
and Tesla.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Wait, well, I'm thinking about our listeners real quick, and
which I always do, but y'all need to be leaving
some reviews please. Just as a reminder, I would love
y'all to go to Apple Podcasts and leave a review
for the show because it's been quiet over there and
I feel like I should probably read one out loud
because when we used to read reviews out loud, people
(13:39):
will be like, oh, well, we get my review read.
So I'm going to pull up a review because do it.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
It's true, honestly, you know what it is a lot
of your loyal, loyal, loyal fans who come back Timetime
again have probably left reviews in the past. But it's
okay to post if you updated and want to just
say I've been rocking with the pod since back in
twenty seventeen, twenty sixteen, because those are those types of
comments really really make a difference to review algorithms.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
My goal is to be like the Awkward Black Girl
YouTube channel of podcasts, you know how, like everyone likes
to tell Lisa like, I've been down with you since
the ABG days. Yes, like I know, so let me
let you know, let me know how long you've been
riding with BA when you leave that review, Well, here's
a sweet one, all right. This is from Natural End
(14:24):
to Issan, Oh Natural Intuition. She said. I love the
new picture. Thank you, She says, Mandy, you have transition
with grace. I love the new I love the new
new of the podcast and can't wait to keep listening.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I love the see girl they rocking with you. They
really are. And I will say I agree with that.
It is not easy to just keep it going and
act like everything's all good when you know you feel
like your other half and like the whole show's as
totally different vibe. But you've really done it gracefully, I
gotta say. And you just brought so much like fun,
creative energy coming up with new ideas, trying things, not
(15:01):
being afraid to try things. Like girl, I mean, I
know Brown Ambition is your baby, but you have really
really transitioned it nice. Yeah, we'll say, yeah, you really have.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Maddie is so creative, but I'm gonna be nice to you.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
So you say you feel real bad when you, you know,
inevitably insult me.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Later on this episode.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yeah, eventually I might feel bad. Keep trying.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Yeah, but it's so creative, so many great ideas. You
work so hard, So I'm very proud of you and
all the all the work you've transition.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
That's hard to change things up like that.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Thank you, And I'm just so relieved. 'all don't even know.
I've been editing the show myself for the past few
months while I've been in between like working on this
network situation and like figuring out this new format. It's
been so much the level of stress. Plus my book.
Oh girl, I can't exactly like you know how you're
just like in it and you can't exactly you can't
(15:52):
zoom out because if you zoom out, you'll just self
combust literally implode. But it was all this stuff and
then I've had like three big book deadlines where I've
had to submit multiple chapters. I have another one tomorrow
and at the same time, and the podcast being brand new.
It's been but at the same time, it's like it's
(16:14):
so exciting. These are blessings. I don't want to complain,
but it is. I said twenty twenty five smelled like money.
I said that when the New Year changed over. I
was like, it really just smells, just smells like money.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
So far to ask you, you girl, how did you do it,
and you're gonna be like, I don't know. I don't
even remember. I don't even know how I did it.
I just did it, and I just kept going like
that I'll.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Have something to tell them four am wake up calls,
don't get enough sleep. I think sometimes you have to
be like I don't. There's no like productivity hack. Sometimes
the hack is you work your ass off and you
know that you can't sustain it at that level. I
know I wasn't gonna be able to edit the show forever.
I didn't fool myself to think that, but I knew
(17:00):
for the interim, like this is a temporary thing. I'm
going to find an editor with all my free time,
and I finally did and like, now that's off my plate.
Shout out to Carla and Courtney Black owned Latina after
Latina owned editing company. So very excited that, you know
(17:22):
my sister speaking in which I visited my sister in Wisconsin.
She's doing so much better. Be a faan I might
have shared a little bit. My sister donated a kidney.
She's a living donor, a god angel on earth, and
for all of her trouble, she ended up with a
very rare like complication. So for anyone who's thinking about
organ donation, Like I mean, already we knew it was
(17:43):
a serious surgery, but it's obviously quite common common ish.
So anyway, you really hoped, you know, the surgeon had
done like a gajillion of them, so you hope that
it's just going to be textbook. But she had a
rare complication which caused her like severe, severe, like agonizing
nerve pain, which is it's the y'all y'all have experience
(18:04):
with like anyone who's ever had like a nerve pain condition,
chronic pain. But it's the worst thing about it is
the way that doctors don't really know how to treat it,
except for with really strong opioids, Like I mean, she
left the hospital with mad she left the hospital with
oxy with fentanyl patch. She had been on ketamine, like
(18:26):
there is dilouded. There's like these really strong and they're like,
we don't give these medicines to people who aren't dying
of cancer. Like that's how painful it was. But thank
the Lord. I mean, it took way too long. It's
been over two months, but she was able to finally
get some treatment to actually target the nerve that's that's
been damaged and set. The worst part is that your nerves.
I mean there's some surgical intervention. Obviously I'm not a neurologist,
(18:49):
but but for in her case, anyway, it has to
heal itself, you know, like there's probably not going to
be oh, if we just go in and put this
band aid there, you know whatever, that's not what they
would do. But you know what I mean, Like so,
but she was out of work, you know, and my
heart goes Plus what the medication she was on, Like
(19:14):
I said, Mallory, don't be telling anybody. By the way,
I shouldn't probably have said how many. But she doesn't
have them anymore. She's off of the really heavy ones,
which is part of the good thing. But it's so
hard to treat chronic pain. And then she burned through
her sick leave, burned through the FMLA even Yeah, it's
really tough.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
At that point.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
That's so hard. Yeah, how's she doing now? Like percentage wise?
Where is she yet? Getting back to normal?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Honestly? Every day? I mean I was there for four
days and I think we had two good days and
two not so good days. And it really depends on
if she can stay on top of the pain with
her medication. So is she taking it at the right times,
And sometimes you're sleepy and you miss a dose or
you're late with something, and then the pain it's hard
to catch up with the pain medication at that point.
(20:05):
And then also she is my mother's daughter, as am I,
and we have a hard time. Actually, I'm really good
at taking a rest. These two though they on some
other ish they cannot sit still. They want to be
cooking and going out and about and cleaning dishes and
folding shit. And I'm just like you guys, I'm laid
up on the couch because whenever my mom is around,
I'm fully fifteen again in my head. I'm just like,
(20:26):
I'm here, I'm mom, dear, and so yeah, so she
she you know, would do a little too much and
then it would be a tough day.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
But yeah, it's hard. Some people though, like they're just
wired that way. Like my oldest sister. There's nine siblings
in my family, and the oldest sister, the firstborn, she
is like she's like your sister and your mom. She
just cannot sit and rest. I mean, she just it
like it pains her to not be to not feel
(20:54):
productive in whatever way, whether she's doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, dusting,
something out in her garden doing stuff. Was like, girl,
what like she has a garden. She lives in New
York City, and she has a garden in her yard
so that she can constantly be doing you know, because otherwise, Yeah,
Like mentally, I think she feels drained when she's not
quote unquote productive. But that is just it takes a time.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
That's crazy. She feels drained by not doing something mentally
right mentally because that's the thing, right, Like, eventually the
draining switches over from your being mentally drained to now
physically your body's literally telling you.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
You need to stop you need to chill. And then
eventually when it gets to that point, it's like it's
it's a little late. No, it's never too late. But
of course it's late because you've been constantly pushing yourself
past the point of that is reasonable. But yeaht one point,
she she turned some which way. I don't even remember
what happened, but her ankle. She was just literally walking
and then turned around in the wrong direction or in
(21:50):
the wrong way on her foot and had to stop
and actually like go, she had to what happens, She
had to get a brace on her foot.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Get injured, and then you finally forced to sit.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Down exactly exactly. So, either you choose to rest or
your body's gonna force you to rest.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
That's true.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
That's why I prayably rest. I love not doing anything.
Give me, give me a sake, and give me a chair.
I'm gonna go sit in it. I'm good.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
You've been going to the gym, You've been getting your
little steps in on them hills.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
I had to be doing. I do like a good walk,
but I also please let me sit down. I rest.
Rest are best friends. I love it.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
I'm really good at just being a couch like decoration,
couch trotting as they say. You know what, I realized
I'm not very good at sitting in silence though, because
my sister's house is so quiet, like there's no like
TV on. Listen, listen and shout out to my Wisconsin people.
My mom is always like, you don't you don't love
(22:48):
your Wisconsin heritage. I'm like mommy the way that when
I went I landed, she lives like in a tiny
town in Wisconsin too, shout out to Lacrosse and we
when I landed in the teenious plane, ever, we went
straight to the grocery store because again mom and sister,
we don't cook something. And I had took this video.
(23:08):
I was, y'all, y'all don't understand the number of ways
Wisconsin people know how to make a salad. And not
like a green salad. I'm talking mayo or some sort
of like creamy substance, maybe a sour cream macaroni salad,
pistachio salad. Jello and the jello. The jello I'm going
to show you guys after this, Like the there was
(23:30):
literally like gourmet perfect cubes of jello, just gallons of them,
and I'm like, people just show up and buy this
much jello.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Because I'm trying to picture what that is.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Yeah, so like your salad in Wisconsin's usually a mix
of like mayonnaise is the ideal, maybe sour cream, you know,
or some kind of yeah aoli situation, but probably mayonnaise.
And then the fluffs are made if I'm remembering correctly,
with like maybe maybe like a whipped cream because it's fluffy.
(24:03):
So like at Christmas, my mom my grandma would make
cranberry fluff, which would be like a mix of like
cranberry sauce and whipped cream. I think whipped up. I'm sorry,
I'm not endorsing it. I'm just saying there's a culture
y'all want to put. There's a culture in Wisconsin, and
that is it. It is the culture of fluffs and
(24:26):
mayonnaise salads, deli salads.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
If they put it on something like like like you know,
like flying or like a cheesecake with fluff on top
or something, but why they just eating the fluff.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
It is the dish, see that I can't. I don't
have a little dollipup fluff on your plate, on your
plate heritage fork spoon, Oh, you mean, like, what do
you what is it pair well with.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
What?
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I'm just I'm why do you think that it has
different notes? The notes of the the cranberry fluff crisp
pairs really well with the orange jello. I would uh,
the orange jello and the shape of a cube, Yeah,
that would pair well with it. Also, maybe a broccoli salad,
you know, extra creamy would pair nicely with a fluff.
(25:27):
And you know you wash it down with some like
German or Irish beer, a Guinness. I don't know, bloom,
I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Whether you're going further and further away from where my
mind and stomach want to be.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
And cheese curds. Just throw some cheese curds on top.
There you go.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Question like is it just like yeah, people's stomachs just
like upset all the time.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yes, First of all, I'm dairy free. It's yes. The number. Yes,
there were many jokes about how everyone had to take
some time with the porcelain God after certain meals. Yeah,
but what am I gonna say?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
I'm looking this up and you're right, they got.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Of course, I'm right. It's my heritage. I am a
cultural ambassador for Wisconsin.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Pineapples with marshmallows and pistachia pudding.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Yeah, my mom always told me don't say yuck to
food because you don't want somebody's young, or you know, offensive,
somebody you don't want to or whatever. But at the
same time, whatever.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Dominican moms are so shady and get out of here.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Girl. The stuff my mom be cooking, I know she
ain't talking, really, I know, I think. I think it's
Chitlin's chills, mondongle, mondongle.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
It's very different than you have. I'm sorry Christ's blushing.
I didn't know a top of a bald head could blush. Here.
I sent you a forty It took me forty six
seconds to film the number of salads up seafood salad
with imitation crabs we have. Look at the Just wait
(27:10):
till you see the jello. It'll come through finger. They
call it finger jello.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Is that what it is?
Speaker 1 (27:21):
You'll have to look probably two. This is like a
two finger jello. They make a healthy porsche. Okay, some
kind of macaroni salad. The jello took me out. Potato salad.
Wait till you see the ham spread. Wait until you
see the ham salad.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Like lego blocks, all jello blocks, chicken rotisserie salad, Cashi
broccoli salad.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
You know what I actually do, fuck with broccoli salad.
It's actually delicious if you don't over mao it look
at you Ellie's.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Face spread ham spread sounds and looks.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Bacon ranch salad, poppy seed chicken salad, bacon cheddar, rotelli
pasta salad.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Because it's like half of it is missing off.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Summer fresh pasta salad of course, tuna salad, the o
G Macaroni Supreme. And I see peas, some peas in there.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I told you I don't lie.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
You know, I could have kept going. You learned something today.
I dedicate you know what. I dedicate this part of
the show to my grandma. Shout out to Doris Dutton
uh nay Ninimon from Brown Deer, Wisconsin. Shout out to
James Dutton, my grandpa, May they rest in peace, and
my mom, Laurie Dutton. If y'all didn't know, now you
(28:42):
know that's where I come from. I don't actually was
born in Georgia, born and bred around Atlanta, but yeah,
I do have my Wisconsin roots.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah, I was to say we're Wisconsin roots, because I
thought you were from Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
But my mom is from Wisconsin. She moved out. She's
a break lady. She moved from She. I grew up
Irish Catholic, you know, family of five. Mom was a
school teacher, dad was a brick mason. Then at like eighteen,
her and her best friend were like, let's go to Atlanta.
It seems hot, seems popping down there. I don't know
where they got their news at the time, so they
hop in the car. They don't go to college. They
(29:18):
move to Atlanta. They get jobs as waiters. She meets
my dad at an ihop. They're both waiters. I was
going to get into some of my brown boosts a
little bit, but I'll do it now. But like having
to be I always felt this need to be sparkly
and fun and charming and successful and talented to warrant
my space in that family, like that side of the family,
(29:38):
because I feel like it was stories like that that
I was told from starting getting real deep. We went
from like finger jello to racial trauma. But but like, yeah, exactly,
I thought, really and the bar in real life was
so low it was cranberry fluff and I was trying
to be Michelin star, you know what I mean, to
have a seat at that table. Really didn't need to
(30:00):
try that hard, but I yeah, I did. I from
a young age, I like I was so out of
felt so out of place on that side of the
family that I did think that in order to like
be accepted, it had to be exceptional. And that probably
came from them like looking.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
At me, like you'll never be good enough?
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Like who that black baby?
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Right?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Where's my pretty white bait?
Speaker 2 (30:22):
They gave you that vibe if you'll never be good enough?
You didn't come from nowhere. You didn't You didn't come
into your head out of nowhere, right, that's yeah. Fact? Okay, girl,
Well you know I couldn't help it, but look it
up and there's so many interesting things here. Flutter nutter.
The sandwich was made made of marshmallow, marshmallow and peanut butter.
Peanut butter, Yeah, that's delicious.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Though you ever tried a peanut butter fluffed sandwich? Delicious?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Okay? Now that one is eating in wisconstant, But it
didn't come from it comes from the New England areas
of Massachusetts is where it started in the nineteen hundreds,
and then you got Watergate salad. What pistachio pudding whipped
topping in canned pineapple is called a watergate salad?
Speaker 1 (31:05):
My grandma does did and what is it called pistachio?
We I don't know what. Why is the pistachio so popular?
But there is a pistachio pudding dessert that we do
and we tear it up. It's neon green. Its delicious.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
I'm looking at it now. Can you tell me why
there's cherries on top of this? Those little marachino cherries?
Why is that on this?
Speaker 1 (31:26):
This not too much on my people?
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Y'all?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Hey, all right, we're gonna take a quick break, ba fam.
I hope that you weren't eating while you were listening
to this. We might have made you regret that choice.
And if you're hungry, then maybe you should see your
pastor about that, or your spiritual guid guiter, your spiritual
guide to find out why. Be right back with our
(31:49):
brown booth Brown Break see you then? All right, we're back,
ba fam. I am joined by yan nellispinal In Chris Browning,
and we are going to do Brown Boost Brown Break.
Are you guys ready? You know what you're gonna do,
boost or break.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I am ready watergate salad.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Should we let Cris go first?
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Yeah? Do it anything? I was ready? What would I
get for?
Speaker 1 (32:13):
You're never ready? All right, y'all? Ellick, you can go first, girl,
all right.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
I'll go first. My brown break is that I noticed
a lot of the youngins in my family. They don't
want to use real banks. They've been hitting me up
like oh the young yeah, like the the nineteen to
twenty four to twenty five. They think cash Up is
the bank. Like they set up their direct deposit into
(32:38):
their cash app. They have a cash app card, and
they think that they're banking, and I'm like, wait minute,
Like that's if anything were to happen to cash Is
that FDAC in shirt. It's not FDIC shirt. Now, there's
a loophole where if you if you follow like three
steps or four steps, like if you set up direct deposit,
you get the cash up card. You do you have
(32:59):
a deposit of a minimum a certain amount every two
weeks or whatever. Then you get what's called passed through
FDIC insurance coverage through their partner bank. So it's not
because they are not a charter bank. Cash at Venmo.
They can't they PayPal, they can't give you FSC insurance
because they're not chartered banks, but they can pass through
the insurance of the bank that they're partnering with. They
(33:20):
hold your money while they show you the interface of
the tech. So I try to explain that to my
nieces and to my brother, my younger brother, and I'm like,
you know, and oh no, no, I have passed to FDS.
It says that on their site, and I'm like, okay,
but that only protects you from the from the bank
that's holding the money going under. But there's nothing protecting
you from like cash up going under or you know,
or whatever in any case like PayPal or venbo whatever,
(33:42):
there's no protection around these. So I'm I'm just a
little nervous now, and I'm curious how wide spread this
is of, Like, is this a generational thing where these
younger generations are getting targeted by these apps that are
basically looking like banks, acting like banks, borderline calling themselves bank,
but they're not actually banks, y'all. Like we need actual
(34:02):
depository institutions. You need to go to a credit union,
you need to go to a community bank, you need
to go to a regular bank, like you need an
account that is actually protected and ensured. And I just
thought that people would get that, especially after like Silicon
Valley Bank and Signature Bank and some of the bank
failures from a couple of years ago. But I don't know.
I think some of these youngins really do think that
with all the tech, the new kind of cool trendy
(34:23):
tech stuff, that they're covered or that that's that they
got what they need because they even you know, giving
debit cards and things like that.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
But yeah, Benmo does that too. Is that the same thing?
It's always trying to prompt me for a debit card.
I'm like, no, no thing care name.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
They keep sending me notifications and emails and all that.
So I'm just I'm curious about it. And I want
to encourage you. If you're listening to this and you
have a young en in your life, a young person
that you care about, check in with them. Make sure
they actually understand that these apps are technology that allows
you to engage with the money that you have sitting
in an account at a bank. But they are not banks,
(34:56):
so you gotta have yeah, whether it's a credit union
or a bank, accounts up don't be thinking that you're
banking and you have nothing but a cash app little
wallet and some cash in there, and don't leave the
money in the cash app or in the Venmo wallets
too long.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
You know, they're all doing that. That's probably why they're
I mean, that's why they're offering debit cards. They're like, well,
they're people are using it as a bank account anyway, right.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
So we might as well emulate that. But you're not
getting you know, high yield, you're not.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Getting I bet those debit cards charge fees too.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Right, So we gotta I gotta look into that more
because I was just so afraid of, like how normal
it was. My little brother like, yeah, I just use
cash up as my bank. I was like, hold up, bro,
not miss Beehulples little brother not having an those bank account.
What's going on here? Like this is not acceptable, bro?
So anyway, just talk to the young you know, check
in on them, because unfortunately, I do think these tech
companies go out of their way to make young people think, hey,
(35:45):
it looks like a bank, It functions like a bank.
You know, when I log in, it has a debit card,
and like it must dollar sign. Yeah, it holds my money,
it must be a bank. And unfortunately that it's just
not right.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
Yeah, I mean I think too, because like the banking
industry is still even though it's modernized, it's still behind, right,
Like it's so easy to open up a cash app account, Venmo, PayPal,
all these sayings, it's so easy, Robinhood, you know, put
all these accounts on your phone. Where banking really has
it and modernized that way, and I mean some reasons,
it's for good reason, you know, the regulations kind of
make it me a little bit more difficult to open
(36:17):
up an account. But I mean, I think a lot
of people don't go to these like online banks where
it is a little more modernized. You can open it
up online. You don't got to go to a branch
and sign a piece of paperwork and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
But I don't think enough people know about it. And
but they do.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Everyone knows about cash app and it looks it looks good,
it's easy to use, and some people just go that
way without thinking about you know, some other benefits. Like
you said, but you don't have a savings account really,
and then some of them do. But it ain't gonna
be FDIC insured it's this whole nonsense that it the
younger people kind of are in this weird middle ground.
This is like the best option of them in their mind.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Yeah, and also it's not it's I don't even blame them.
I do think they're being targeted. Like when you look
at the way that cash apps spends their money, they
have where Megan thee Stallion is teaching you what bitcoin
is to try to encourage you to go buy bitcoin
on the cash app platform, and like, come on, now,
we all know who they're ultimately targeting when they put
(37:13):
Megan the Stallion in their ads and not tell a swift.
So I do think that part of it is a
little bit like we have to hold them accountable because
they are actively targeting young black and brown consumers who
are the ones that are the furthest like a way
to being served properly from banks in the first place.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
And so it's just and already unbanked or under bank.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Under bank for the most part, right, So it's just giving.
It's giving problematic a little bit.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Do you get your paycheck deposited to your cash app?
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Yes, you can see that's yep. And again it looked
like a bank. It acts like a bank, it must
be a bank. That's not true.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah, but that's okay.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
The older generations though, because I worked at bank for years,
like when I was in college, and the thing is like,
in I worked in a neighborhood I grew up in.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
It was a poor neighborhood. A lot of people will
get screw it over by the banks.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
They were getting hit with all these over draft fees,
they were getting hit with all these other penalties that
were getting on check systems. So then they wouldn't have
bank accounts. And so I think already for their probably
the parents of these kids, they grew up an environment,
especially if you're in a lower income area, where it's like,
don't go to the bank.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
The bank is already gonna like it.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
I can't, I can't open account anyway, So it's not
gonna teach me to go oput an account there. But
there's these new alternatives that kind of bypass all of that,
and I feel like it's created a really great environment
for people to be like, you know what, why even
go to a bank and deal with that. My family
and parents that have one anyways, let me go over here.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
This is so much easier that's the fact.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
That's a great point, all right, Chris, what's your boost?
Speaker 3 (38:35):
Like I caught up in your ellis breaks. I wasn't
even thinking about it anymore, but you.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Know, I would say my break is my brown break
is getting sick because I got sick last week.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Shout out to my niece. Give me all the viruses
and diseases.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Flavor did you get this time? Little influenza, little hand,
foot of mouthcocksacky, terrible word love saying.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
It's just a regular old cold because she I went
over there because I was I was visiting back.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Home Corona with my brother.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Her nose was running the entire time, just a little
snap out that nose. And I know she got me.
You know, she's all cute, but at some point she
I'm sure she sneezed in my eye or something.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Then and now, if you.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Started eating your lunch because you didn't want to eat
it in the first half of the show because we
were talking about too many salads and you started right now,
I'm also sorry.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
People are gonna end the episode just nauseous. That's what's
gonna do you have.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
A go to cold remedy? What do you do? Dudes
have the funniest things they do when they're sick to
get better.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Go ahead, just rest it out.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
That's all I do. I did nothing, rested out. Give
me some vitamin see and drip some tea. I have
eat about three bags worth the cough drops. Then you know,
at some point and you start feeling bad.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
Bags just three.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
I had a friend who said he just drank gallon
after gallon of water to flush it out. I'm like,
you're gonna unsalinate your blood and your fluids and and
in the hospital.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
People better talk a lot about dehydration, but there is
such thing as overhydrating. Chill out, chill out.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Now, you can sweat it out. You have sweat it
all out. Yeah, take a bunch of naps and then
you know. It took me about a week.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Speaking of that. I don't know. For some reason when
you said sweat it out, I started thinking about my
brain moves really fast. It was like hot yoga, yoga, meditation.
I'm doing a sound bath tomorrow. I'm very excited about that.
You never tried one, Chris.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
You would like it, Chris, you would like it. I've
done a few of them, and especially since I moved
to Miami, they do a lot of them down by
the beach, which is so beautiful. Every chance I get,
I'll go on. It is so nice. So Mandy, where
are you doing?
Speaker 1 (40:45):
This?
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Is it at yoga studio?
Speaker 1 (40:46):
It is at an actual sound like this is what
they do. And so I've only done it once before,
but it was so exquisite. Like the feeling that I had,
I just wish I could have floated and been. I
didn't wish I had to get in the car and
drive after because I was just so it's just when
you're really focused on the meditation and when you get
to them and it is a practice, like I have
to do it and practice at it when you have
(41:08):
a really good one, I genuinely, and I don't. I
don't have. I don't smoke a lot. I don't smoke
at all, really, but I don't take edibles. But when
I have and I've had a little bit of a high,
I genuinely it's crazy how you can produce that sensation
in your own body, like that calm and the humming
through you, and it was amazing. So the place I'm
(41:30):
and that was at like my local nature preserve. You know,
it wasn't anything special cool.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Okay, well, but when I'm going to I didn't know
what a sound bath was until one of my friends
invited me like two years ago. So the people listening
are like, she's going to a what a baff of
what what.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
To do it? Just google it, go find one and
go do it.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
True?
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Yeah, I mean they have. It's the one with the
bowls where they make them. That's not the sound because
that wouldn't be relaxing, but they make them, and this
is the place that I'm going to. It looks so beautiful.
They have like beautiful chaise lounges that we're going to
lay in with like pillows. We're gonna be so comfy,
not on the hard floor the yoga matt like I.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
Was last time.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
That's why I've done it. Yeah, I've done it.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
But that's not my boost though.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
Oh okay, that was a little half boost.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
That was a half boost. That was just that was
just an ADHD tangent where we went down that little road,
a little side show. But my boost boost her break break.
All right. So I'm writing this book, y'all know. It's
going to be called Brown Ambition, and I have the
most incredible black woman publisher. Her name was Krishn Trautman.
Legis is the legacy lit at Hashet. It's an imprint
(42:38):
at one of the top five publishers that really focuses
on amplifying b IPOC voices. And anyhow, I got this
book deal almost two years ago, and I have been writing.
I mean, I've probably written one hundred and fifty thousand
words by now, and half of them will not end
up in the book. But I've just been writing and writing.
(42:59):
And one of the credible things is sometimes I'll just
have these like epiphanies as I'm writing. And I had
one of those when I was, you know, full up
on my macaroni salad in Wisconsin this past weekend. But yeah,
belly full of fluff really brought it out of me.
But anytime I'm waiting for my children, I'm like, oh,
(43:19):
I'm gonna write all day. And so I had these
like intense I had this intense writing session. And it's
in the chapter where I talk about my therapy journey
and how I have found a lot of the like.
So I use a particular kind of therapy called DBT
that I did a I just graduated actually from a
I think I might have told you guys a two
like a twenty week DBT training thing and anyhow, And
(43:42):
I'm trying to connect the dots between how these like
skills that I've learned, these coping skills for stress can
really apply to you know, your finances and your career
and all of that. And as I'm writing it, I'm
starting to think about just the word ambition and how
I've always in Tiff and I talked about before too,
like we always sort of had this this like dual
(44:05):
way of thinking about ambition. It's amazing, we want to
celebrate it, but ambition can sometimes drive us into like
really unhealthy habits and really unhealthy ways of soothing ourselves.
Like if I just get this money, if I just
if I launched this business, if I get this you know,
if I get this accolade, if I succeed here, then
(44:27):
what then, like in that blank, that blank space, like
what would you fill that with? What is it that
you're really chasing? And I had said on my whole
life that it was around financial security, you know, raised
by a single mom, saw my mom go through a
divorce financially you know, insecure, and then also my dad
had his issues, and I went to school thinking, well,
(44:49):
I'm just I can't. I don't want to be unsafe
like that. I don't want to be insecureate that. So
I'm going to make as much money as possible. But
in writing the chapter and peeling back the layers and
I kind of talked about it a little bit earlier,
but I started to realize that and this was really
it was kind of it was very like, it's sad,
but it's also like, Wow, I'm understanding myself so much better.
(45:11):
I realize why my whole life, I've had this inner
drive to be successful, to be the best, and to
get the a's and the four point zero and get
the best score and get into a good school and
you know, join all the clubs and be the president
of this and that and like, and then put so
(45:32):
much on my plate that I wind up suffering because
you know, I've taken on so much for not the
right reasons. I've taken on so much because I wasn't
chasing financial security. I was chasing like self worth. I
was chasing this idea that I have nothing else going
for me but the things that I can do, accomplish, earn,
(45:54):
get create, and I it's almost as if my like,
so now my mind has caught up to like I
can intellectually, I get caught up to the to how
I was processing and like why I was doing that.
And what I've realized is like success in ambition, that's
a form of trauma response. Like success and ambition, it
(46:17):
can be a trauma response for me. It's a trauma response.
And you think about girls in school who you know,
act out as a trauma response. They're angry, you know,
especially on black girls, you know, the ones who were
acting out, getting into fights. What do they do? They
get arrested, they get suspended, you know, they get they
get put away, and no one looks at them and says,
(46:38):
what's what's going on? Why are you coping in this way?
But they get, you know, so they get that end
of the spectrum. And then you have me, who as
a response to trauma, I am over exceeding expectations. I'm achieving, achieving,
And no one ever stopped and said, are you okay?
Why are you taking Etceterrin in the morning so you
(46:59):
can stay up for class because you spent all night,
you know, up working and studying because you have to
get an a and why are you not staying home
when you're sick because you don't want to miss a
day of school? You know why? And my mom was
never putting that pressure on me. And it's just like,
I'm getting chills now because it's just I'm in the
middle of this process of just figuring that out. And
(47:21):
so I wonder be a fan, like how many of
y'all listening, Like how many of that? How many of
y'all does that resonate with? Because I do think the
high achievers, the ones who are, you know, getting everything
right and being perfect, I've seen in myself how that
can lead down a path to damage and destruction and pain.
(47:43):
And it's just been really eye opening and liberating to
understand where that's coming from. And I hope that with
this book with Brown Ambition, I can unlock that realization
for a lot of people that success can be a
trauma response. But now that we know that doesn't mean
that we're not going to be out here doing incredible things,
but it means we're gonna learn how to sit down.
(48:05):
We're gonna learn that we can rest that we're enough
that I don't have to do all the things to
be worthy that I can do what makes me happy
and what is enough for me and find peace in that.
And I got through that whole thing without crying, So
shout out to so loved. So never We're never gonna
(48:28):
have the right hair, the right skin color. I'm never
gonna be black enough or white enough or whatever, rich enough,
or yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
My accent's too thick, I don't have the right connections,
my network doesn't span wide enough. I'm never gonna get
that promotion. It's like you constantly think that, but you know,
to your point is if you finally face it and go, oh,
this is why I've been like this, my whole life
can be very free. I feel like that's a beautiful.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
Thing and why it can bring about so much good
but then so much bad, and like how to find that?
You know, how to be ambitious in a healthy way.
And then I just and I was like, this is
how I'm closing out the book. This is the best
way to do it. So I think I've finished. I
think I've written the last couple chapters of Brown Ambition,
and I think I finally have answered for myself what
(49:15):
I want the book to be. I didn't want it
to be another how to you know, I have so
much more to offer, I think than just then. Don't
worry that's going to be in there. How to negotiate,
how to you know, how to budget, how to pay
off debt, how to be good at money even after
you've been bad with it. All that is there, But
I'm also sharing a lot of that personal journey and
(49:37):
it just it feels good. Makes me love myself a
lot more. And yeah, at my big age, it's not
too late, borant.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
That is so important. I mean it's hard when you're
reading a book from somebody who doesn't have that relationship
with themselves. You can tell, you can tell. So yeah,
I love that for everybody who's going to read Brown Ambition.
Speaker 4 (49:58):
Yeah, and I love the day in there too, because
I mean I've read so many money books where it's
like you could tell they needed a number of pages,
so they just start repeating the same thing about fifteen
times in the book, and I'm like, all right, I
got it, Like you know, you'll need to tell me
this again. So I like that you're integrating more because
I mean, money is bigger than that, whether whatever part
of money you're talking about, it's bigger than so much
of who you are and that stuff you deal with
(50:20):
and the way you process that and understand it impacts
the way you make decisions when it comes to your money.
So I'm excited for this book because I know it's
going to be It's not gonna be one of those
typical books.
Speaker 3 (50:28):
It's gonna be something that gives a lot more than
just advice.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
You know, I'm gonna tell some stories, telling a lot
of stories that to.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
That was That's one of the biggest things that I
feel like differentiates books written by people of color in
the finance and career and personal development space is that
the stories that we have they not like us. They
don't got these stories, they don't have these experiences. They
don't and so it just colors your book in a
(50:58):
very different in different pain strokes, in a different way
that a lot of these classic money books they just
can't They just can't do that. And that's okay. I've
learned a lot from classic money books. I got a
lot of them behind me. But it's a different interaction
with a book written by somebody who shares some of
the traumas that you're talking about and having experienced, and
the discrimination in the space as well, like, let's just
(51:21):
be real, that's what it is. And when somebody comes
from that understanding, it's just so much easier for you
to like let your guard down and take the book
for what it's giving you and not constantly be questioning
where it's coming from. Oh but you wouldn't understand this.
Oh but your parents never did, never struggled with that.
You can kind of just like let that go and
really get from the book what it's meant to give you.
At least that has been my experience, and that's why
(51:42):
I chose to write a book too, because I just
was like, wait a minute, this is not easy for
me to be reading book after book after book that's
missing that secret sauce. The secret sauce is the stories
I think ye won't see.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
I promise my sauces is sauce and not mayonnaise. Okay,
it's that Georgia's southern souls.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
Okay, yes, yes, it's not the Wisconsin, the Georgia.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Well, thanks for listening, Va fam, Please please please read
a review. Thank you so much. Thank you to Nellie
and Chris for joining me at the Brown Table this week.
I'll see y'all Friday for the b a q A
Bye
All right, be a fam, welcome back. I am back
with the Brown Table, and I have my friends, my
BA fam in person, well kind of virtually, but in person.
We got Yon Nelly Ivy League educated, the Humble hot
Shot from Brooklyn, New York.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Intro.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I don't know why I went, Maybe because George Foreman
just passed. So I was channeling like some boxing energy.
Rip you're not mad at him dying, well.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Not mad at the energy.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
And also something okay, gotcha rip to the girl master
of all girl masters. He really did his big one
for like college students circa two thousand.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
And every book out and every barbecue and every black
party in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Yeah, you can make two paninis at a time. But
you know, oh man, I inherited my parents, George Foreman, Griddle.
I think they had like other things than just like
the press. The Michael Scott, you know, the one that
I forgot to introduce Chris and Chris.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I was like, at some point I'll get introduced. I
wasn't going to rush it, but I was like the
riddle speaking.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Of Brown University, where our Ivy League Humble Hot Shot
attended college. We're also joined by Chris Brown NG look
at that brown ambition.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
I don't I to tell people my family is the
huge donor, say university, but we get you changing up
a little bit that way. They don't know directly that
it's my family.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
But you know that's right.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Listen, clown college. You no, that's like a triple brown
brown ambition, Brown University. Yes, brown.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
We only brought a brown university because I'm drinking from
my little college cup. And I was like, hold on,
now they're not paying me to promote it, so let
me cover it. But now we're promoting them anyway, so.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I mean half her back. Maybe they can pay you
to speak, and then it's all symbiotic. It's all connected,
you know what.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Actually I should have put that as my brown boost.
But they did buy a bunch of my books and
create an intro to personal financial literacy and the markets
for freshman seminar.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yeh, nelly, that's kind of cool.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Oh but seriously, I was literally in tears. I was like, wait,
hold up, my book is all the sentiments.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
When are you gonna get your own library? When's that
going to happen?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I have to figure that out.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
But got state schools, all right, So what's happening in
the world. We mentioned George Foreman passed away. Why am
I seeing Jonathan Major's face all over my feet everywhere
I live?
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Girl? Because Meghan Goood is because Meghan Good is a
you know is what is? She just like doubly famous.
I just feel like there was a moment where people
were kind of like upset and like over him, didn't
want and then Meghan bought him back.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I just because what She's America's black sweetheart and now
he gets to benefit.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
She was scared for her. I feel like she was
everybody's nineties like dreamgirl, even mine.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I mean, and it is still is Megan When her
and bow Wow did that one movie with skating, what
was it they were skating? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Anyway, it's making good, I mean, but they do seem happy.
And I know this controversy around him and his violent
passed and domestic issues.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
With everybody and every celebrity couple seems happy, you know.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, I don't know. I guess a little bit that
I have seen. But then again, I'm a hater because
I didn't like Rihanna with ASAP, So I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
But oh what an a SAP do?
Speaker 3 (03:26):
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
He just had some he had some ignorant interviews in
the past that I had seen, and I just wouldn't
let him go where he said some very misogynistic shit.
But you know what, maybe that was his eighteen nineteen
year old self. I don't know, but I just initially
when I heard the news, I was like, come on,
she can do way better. But then everybody in my
family was like, leave alone. She's happy, you're hating, And so.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I know, I think we do. We care. We love Rihanna,
and we love making goods so much that you just
want it to be good on that.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Perfect man because they're the perfect women, so they need
perfect men. I don't know, that's just me. I just like,
come on, ladies, like we.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Need What do you think about Jonathan Majors. Does someone
like Chris as a because I know as a female,
I'm just like dead dead it dead it Yeah, And
and he does. It's more than rumor. It's it's like,
you know, there's been leaked audio, there's been footage, like
you know he was arrested, yes, yeah, so, but yeah,
(04:21):
I'm wondering Chris, like do you think about that? Or
you would you pay for a Jonathan Major's movie ticket.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
You know, well, first of all, violence to gets women
by man never okay, So let me just throw that
out there.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
You can never do that. That's what my dad thought me.
Correct its coming up, that's just you don't do that.
You never do that.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
But after that came out, I was like, you know,
I can't support this. So, you know, is he a
good actor, yes, but I mean there's a lot of
other good actors and there's always an option to choose
what you want to go watch and who you want
to support. So to me, I'm like, hey, it's not
that hard to be like, you know what, I'm good.
I don't need to go see him in the movie
right now. But I think he's in the news because
he has I think his movie, which I thought was
(05:01):
an old movie, but it was like coming out and
that's why.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
It was old because they couldn't release it because that's
when he was arrested and that's why they delayed it.
So now so a couple of years later, they're like,
is it is it safe now? Can we poke our
heads out?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Did people forget? Is it old news?
Speaker 3 (05:20):
That's that's it, and that's when they intern it. Has
a short memory.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
It kind of get throw like, you know, pushing under
the rug and then people are just gonna come back
out and see if they're okay again.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
That's right, Honestly. I also think it has to do
with the level of talent of the person, like and
how much like I do think Jonathan Major's he, I mean,
objectively speaking, an incredible actor, you know, so intense on
the screen like he and I can see like the
(05:49):
how his career was just like taking off and taking off,
and I feel like in it on a time where
we have so few. I mean, there's some like incredible
blackmail actors, but we just lost chap Chapwick, those men,
it feels like just yesterday, and you know, you don't
want to see one of the few go down like that.
But I do feel like if they're really really talented,
I mean, Chris Brown is still selling out shows.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
That's what I understanding, Because one, he messed up my
name years ago, because I think we're Almos sage my
entire life, He's messed up my name and I'm.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Like, how is he back famous again? I thought he
was dead.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I thought, Wow, Chris Brown's that old, Yes.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Don't you remember when he came out and he was like,
I'm just fifteen? Is not that one of his lyrics?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I don't even I don't ever go looking for him,
so I don't know what he looks like anymore.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
He was a baby when he came out at fifteen.
So yes, even if it's been twenty years, the man
is still making music because he started so young.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Heyh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
There you go. He started at fifteen twenty years that
was right, But it's so true. I do think, honestly,
when I'm talking to a lot of people in my experience,
which is obviously very anecdotal, a lot of the younger
I want to I want to say generation. Younger girls
in particular concerned me because they overlook a lot of
the stuff around Chris Brown and make excuses and say,
(07:02):
oh no, but but but but, like he's twenty twenty three,
twenty up to twenty five, twenty six years old girls,
And I'm like, why are you still on Kris Brown
like that, going to his concerts, doing all this and
his music? Oh no, no, I love Chris Brown. I
don't know. And it's like, okay, is it a generational thing?
I'm not really sure what it is, but I mean,
we'll make excuses out the wall zoof of this man.
(07:23):
So I I, you know, it's just an observation that
I have noted.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
I thow time, right, because like he if you're if
you're young enough, right, that happened when they were probably
even like maybe not even live or a little baby.
It's kind of like a grade.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Third grade, righte Wahlberg.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
He just some crazy stuff, but happens so long ago.
People are just like, you know, they don't think about
it anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
So voided out. Probably, I just feel like what Jonathan what?
What bothers me the most is his like he's he's
almost adopted this persona of like some kind of like
I don't know, reform Yogi master. Like he's just like
so he's like this forced again. I keep going back
to the quote that came out from that trial where
(08:05):
he had told his girlfriend she needed to be like
the credit to his MLK, to his Martin Luther King junior,
and be that level of poise and stature. And I
see he's like putting on that show as he is
this like dignified you know, actor, this this this dignified
you know, performer and creator and it just comes off
(08:27):
so forced and so it's so much bullshit. I don't
I don't feel any humility, you know, I don't feel
the wow I hit rock bottom, I begged I I
you know, it's like Harry said to Voldemort, like try
for some remorse home skillet, like before you know, I
eat that wand out of your hand, and your own
(08:47):
rebounding death curse kills you like I need him. I
think redemption, the path to redemption is painful. It should
be painful. There should be remorse, there should be statements,
there should be work, active work. He has an opportunity
to rehabilitate himself publicly and to actually be an incredible
(09:09):
example for other men who have chosen violence and have
not have not healed them healed their inner demons, and
and you know, and he has an opportunity to do that.
And I feel like until I see that level of
humility and grace like in the meantime.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Though, I mean, or really any level, because I.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Will be clicking away.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Didn't it just get swept onto the rug? Like I
don't think he has.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
I'm engaged now, yeah, yeah, totally.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Crying on whatever show to tell you how she means
so much to me, and it's like, wait, did you
just get a whole? What happened in between? It was
like nothing there was. They just swept it under the rug,
I feel like, and it wasn't really addressed, at least
not by him and his pr folks.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, no, thank you. I need an apology tour. I
need a good one. What else is happening? Can we can?
I confess something? Girl?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Go?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
I want to confess us. What am I gonna do
about my Tesla? Y'all? What am I going to do?
I feel like such a fucking clown.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
I meant it before.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
I was literally thinking about that on the ride. I'm like,
is there a bumper sticker I could put on this
car before you before you slash my tires?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Please?
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Please?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
It's paid off. I've had it since twenty twenty one?
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Like, please? Is U?
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Did you see the thing where? I think it's a
company called Polestar They do the other electric car. I
think they're under Volkswagon or Vobo. I forgot the company that,
but they're offering incentives for people to trade in their
Tesla's if they want to come over.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I need one of those. I need Rivian I would
love a Rivian because, you know, like I feel like
Rivian is now the progressive. I feel like brands are
so politicized now.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Totally benefiting from Tesla's downfall, totally exactly. You know, my
boyfriend's brother works at let me not play his business all.
He does work at Rivan though, But it's so funny, girl.
I'll look you what if you want to make it happen,
I got you.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I would, I would g I will publicly, like you know,
put my car, put the Tesla in like one of
those machine like metal shredders. I'll do whatever, you know,
like for to do a stunt like that to get
a different car, because I I feel gross. I feel
gross riding around in that.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
You definitely need a ghost machine. Go to a black
owned business that does like custom stickers and get one
that says I bought this before Elon went crazy, and
then you're supporting a black owned business. Is creative business
and making sure people know your position, covering yourself because.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I don't want to just get rid of the whole
thing now, but but at scene.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Time, while you're in you need something to let people know.
Putting nothing on your Tesla and just leaving it parked
outside in New York City is dangerous.
Speaker 4 (11:56):
Yeah, I just wanted to make it look like that,
like it's a niece, like a Nissan and logo to
be like alt or something like that.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
That's kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I would let them slide on that. That's kind of funny.
They doing something, you know, as opposed to literally doing
nothing where you don't have any stickers. You don't you
act like, oh, there's nothing. That to me is a
little bizarre because now you just don't think there's anything wrong.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
I feel like people. I can feel the parents drop
at kids school pickup and drop off. I can feel
other drivers looking in the car to see who's driving it.
And I'm just like, I'm a black woman. I must say, like,
I know it's incongruous, like I would explain it to you,
but I don't have time and like just to see
the like, oh, I'm gonna get a sticker, all right,
(12:41):
but what's this pollstar? People like what kind of car
is that?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
What am I gonna be talking about it? But look,
I don't know is it evy? You gotta say yes,
you have to go test driving versus a rivie because
otherwise you won't know right, like you just gotta go
test driver. But everyone is talking about full Star, like
this is the one I want that Montesla. I've seen
that a couple different, in particular black women, black women
that I'm friends with, who have posted that.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Okayy want to help the other black woman who's your friend.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
She's a doctor too, so you know, trying. She's trying
to not look like she pulls up to the hospital
and Tesla.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Wait, well, I'm thinking about our listeners real quick, and
which I always do, but y'all need to be leaving
some reviews please. Just as a reminder, I would love
y'all to go to Apple Podcasts and leave a review
for the show because it's been quiet over there and
I feel like I should probably read one out loud
because when we used to read reviews out loud, people
(13:39):
will be like, oh, well, we get my review read.
So I'm going to pull up a review because do it.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
It's true, honestly, you know what it is a lot
of your loyal, loyal, loyal fans who come back Timetime
again have probably left reviews in the past. But it's
okay to post if you updated and want to just
say I've been rocking with the pod since back in
twenty seventeen, twenty sixteen, because those are those types of
comments really really make a difference to review algorithms.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
My goal is to be like the Awkward Black Girl
YouTube channel of podcasts, you know how, like everyone likes
to tell Lisa like, I've been down with you since
the ABG days. Yes, like I know, so let me
let you know, let me know how long you've been
riding with BA when you leave that review, Well, here's
a sweet one, all right. This is from Natural End
(14:24):
to Issan, Oh Natural Intuition. She said. I love the
new picture. Thank you, She says, Mandy, you have transition
with grace. I love the new I love the new
new of the podcast and can't wait to keep listening.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I love the see girl they rocking with you. They
really are. And I will say I agree with that.
It is not easy to just keep it going and
act like everything's all good when you know you feel
like your other half and like the whole show's as
totally different vibe. But you've really done it gracefully, I
gotta say. And you just brought so much like fun,
creative energy coming up with new ideas, trying things, not
(15:01):
being afraid to try things. Like girl, I mean, I
know Brown Ambition is your baby, but you have really
really transitioned it nice. Yeah, we'll say, yeah, you really have.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Maddie is so creative, but I'm gonna be nice to you.
Speaker 4 (15:13):
So you say you feel real bad when you, you know,
inevitably insult me.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Later on this episode.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yeah, eventually I might feel bad. Keep trying.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Yeah, but it's so creative, so many great ideas. You
work so hard, So I'm very proud of you and
all the all the work you've transition.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
That's hard to change things up like that.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Thank you, And I'm just so relieved. 'all don't even know.
I've been editing the show myself for the past few
months while I've been in between like working on this
network situation and like figuring out this new format. It's
been so much the level of stress. Plus my book.
Oh girl, I can't exactly like you know how you're
just like in it and you can't exactly you can't
(15:52):
zoom out because if you zoom out, you'll just self
combust literally implode. But it was all this stuff and
then I've had like three big book deadlines where I've
had to submit multiple chapters. I have another one tomorrow
and at the same time, and the podcast being brand new.
It's been but at the same time, it's like it's
(16:14):
so exciting. These are blessings. I don't want to complain,
but it is. I said twenty twenty five smelled like money.
I said that when the New Year changed over. I
was like, it really just smells, just smells like money.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
So far to ask you, you girl, how did you do it,
and you're gonna be like, I don't know. I don't
even remember. I don't even know how I did it.
I just did it, and I just kept going like
that I'll.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Have something to tell them four am wake up calls,
don't get enough sleep. I think sometimes you have to
be like I don't. There's no like productivity hack. Sometimes
the hack is you work your ass off and you
know that you can't sustain it at that level. I
know I wasn't gonna be able to edit the show forever.
I didn't fool myself to think that, but I knew
(17:00):
for the interim, like this is a temporary thing. I'm
going to find an editor with all my free time,
and I finally did and like, now that's off my plate.
Shout out to Carla and Courtney Black owned Latina after
Latina owned editing company. So very excited that, you know
(17:22):
my sister speaking in which I visited my sister in Wisconsin.
She's doing so much better. Be a faan I might
have shared a little bit. My sister donated a kidney.
She's a living donor, a god angel on earth, and
for all of her trouble, she ended up with a
very rare like complication. So for anyone who's thinking about
organ donation, Like I mean, already we knew it was
(17:43):
a serious surgery, but it's obviously quite common common ish.
So anyway, you really hoped, you know, the surgeon had
done like a gajillion of them, so you hope that
it's just going to be textbook. But she had a
rare complication which caused her like severe, severe, like agonizing
nerve pain, which is it's the y'all y'all have experience
(18:04):
with like anyone who's ever had like a nerve pain condition,
chronic pain. But it's the worst thing about it is
the way that doctors don't really know how to treat it,
except for with really strong opioids, Like I mean, she
left the hospital with mad she left the hospital with
oxy with fentanyl patch. She had been on ketamine, like
(18:26):
there is dilouded. There's like these really strong and they're like,
we don't give these medicines to people who aren't dying
of cancer. Like that's how painful it was. But thank
the Lord. I mean, it took way too long. It's
been over two months, but she was able to finally
get some treatment to actually target the nerve that's that's
been damaged and set. The worst part is that your nerves.
I mean there's some surgical intervention. Obviously I'm not a neurologist,
(18:49):
but but for in her case, anyway, it has to
heal itself, you know, like there's probably not going to
be oh, if we just go in and put this
band aid there, you know whatever, that's not what they
would do. But you know what I mean, Like so,
but she was out of work, you know, and my
heart goes Plus what the medication she was on, Like
(19:14):
I said, Mallory, don't be telling anybody. By the way,
I shouldn't probably have said how many. But she doesn't
have them anymore. She's off of the really heavy ones,
which is part of the good thing. But it's so
hard to treat chronic pain. And then she burned through
her sick leave, burned through the FMLA even Yeah, it's
really tough.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
At that point.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
That's so hard. Yeah, how's she doing now? Like percentage wise?
Where is she yet? Getting back to normal?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Honestly? Every day? I mean I was there for four
days and I think we had two good days and
two not so good days. And it really depends on
if she can stay on top of the pain with
her medication. So is she taking it at the right times,
And sometimes you're sleepy and you miss a dose or
you're late with something, and then the pain it's hard
to catch up with the pain medication at that point.
(20:05):
And then also she is my mother's daughter, as am I,
and we have a hard time. Actually, I'm really good
at taking a rest. These two though they on some
other ish they cannot sit still. They want to be
cooking and going out and about and cleaning dishes and
folding shit. And I'm just like you guys, I'm laid
up on the couch because whenever my mom is around,
I'm fully fifteen again in my head. I'm just like,
(20:26):
I'm here, I'm mom, dear, and so yeah, so she
she you know, would do a little too much and
then it would be a tough day.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
But yeah, it's hard. Some people though, like they're just
wired that way. Like my oldest sister. There's nine siblings
in my family, and the oldest sister, the firstborn, she
is like she's like your sister and your mom. She
just cannot sit and rest. I mean, she just it
like it pains her to not be to not feel
(20:54):
productive in whatever way, whether she's doing laundry, cleaning, cooking, dusting,
something out in her garden doing stuff. Was like, girl,
what like she has a garden. She lives in New
York City, and she has a garden in her yard
so that she can constantly be doing you know, because otherwise, Yeah,
Like mentally, I think she feels drained when she's not
quote unquote productive. But that is just it takes a time.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
That's crazy. She feels drained by not doing something mentally
right mentally because that's the thing, right, Like, eventually the
draining switches over from your being mentally drained to now
physically your body's literally telling you.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
You need to stop you need to chill. And then
eventually when it gets to that point, it's like it's
it's a little late. No, it's never too late. But
of course it's late because you've been constantly pushing yourself
past the point of that is reasonable. But yeaht one point,
she she turned some which way. I don't even remember
what happened, but her ankle. She was just literally walking
and then turned around in the wrong direction or in
(21:50):
the wrong way on her foot and had to stop
and actually like go, she had to what happens, She
had to get a brace on her foot.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Get injured, and then you finally forced to sit.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Down exactly exactly. So, either you choose to rest or
your body's gonna force you to rest.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
That's true.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
That's why I prayably rest. I love not doing anything.
Give me, give me a sake, and give me a chair.
I'm gonna go sit in it. I'm good.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
You've been going to the gym, You've been getting your
little steps in on them hills.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
I had to be doing. I do like a good walk,
but I also please let me sit down. I rest.
Rest are best friends. I love it.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
I'm really good at just being a couch like decoration,
couch trotting as they say. You know what, I realized
I'm not very good at sitting in silence though, because
my sister's house is so quiet, like there's no like
TV on. Listen, listen and shout out to my Wisconsin people.
My mom is always like, you don't you don't love
(22:48):
your Wisconsin heritage. I'm like mommy the way that when
I went I landed, she lives like in a tiny
town in Wisconsin too, shout out to Lacrosse and we
when I landed in the teenious plane, ever, we went
straight to the grocery store because again mom and sister,
we don't cook something. And I had took this video.
(23:08):
I was, y'all, y'all don't understand the number of ways
Wisconsin people know how to make a salad. And not
like a green salad. I'm talking mayo or some sort
of like creamy substance, maybe a sour cream macaroni salad,
pistachio salad. Jello and the jello. The jello I'm going
to show you guys after this, Like the there was
(23:30):
literally like gourmet perfect cubes of jello, just gallons of them,
and I'm like, people just show up and buy this
much jello.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Because I'm trying to picture what that is.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Yeah, so like your salad in Wisconsin's usually a mix
of like mayonnaise is the ideal, maybe sour cream, you know,
or some kind of yeah aoli situation, but probably mayonnaise.
And then the fluffs are made if I'm remembering correctly,
with like maybe maybe like a whipped cream because it's fluffy.
(24:03):
So like at Christmas, my mom my grandma would make
cranberry fluff, which would be like a mix of like
cranberry sauce and whipped cream. I think whipped up. I'm sorry,
I'm not endorsing it. I'm just saying there's a culture
y'all want to put. There's a culture in Wisconsin, and
that is it. It is the culture of fluffs and
(24:26):
mayonnaise salads, deli salads.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
If they put it on something like like like you know,
like flying or like a cheesecake with fluff on top
or something, but why they just eating the fluff.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
It is the dish, see that I can't. I don't
have a little dollipup fluff on your plate, on your
plate heritage fork spoon, Oh, you mean, like, what do
you what is it pair well with.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
What?
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I'm just I'm why do you think that it has
different notes? The notes of the the cranberry fluff crisp
pairs really well with the orange jello. I would uh,
the orange jello and the shape of a cube, Yeah,
that would pair well with it. Also, maybe a broccoli salad,
you know, extra creamy would pair nicely with a fluff.
(25:27):
And you know you wash it down with some like
German or Irish beer, a Guinness. I don't know, bloom,
I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Whether you're going further and further away from where my
mind and stomach want to be.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
And cheese curds. Just throw some cheese curds on top.
There you go.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
Question like is it just like yeah, people's stomachs just
like upset all the time.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Yes, First of all, I'm dairy free. It's yes. The number. Yes,
there were many jokes about how everyone had to take
some time with the porcelain God after certain meals. Yeah,
but what am I gonna say?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
I'm looking this up and you're right, they got.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Of course, I'm right. It's my heritage. I am a
cultural ambassador for Wisconsin.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Pineapples with marshmallows and pistachia pudding.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Yeah, my mom always told me don't say yuck to
food because you don't want somebody's young, or you know, offensive,
somebody you don't want to or whatever. But at the
same time, whatever.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Dominican moms are so shady and get out of here.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Girl. The stuff my mom be cooking, I know she
ain't talking, really, I know, I think. I think it's
Chitlin's chills, mondongle, mondongle.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
It's very different than you have. I'm sorry Christ's blushing.
I didn't know a top of a bald head could blush. Here.
I sent you a forty It took me forty six
seconds to film the number of salads up seafood salad
with imitation crabs we have. Look at the Just wait
(27:10):
till you see the jello. It'll come through finger. They
call it finger jello.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Is that what it is?
Speaker 1 (27:21):
You'll have to look probably two. This is like a
two finger jello. They make a healthy porsche. Okay, some
kind of macaroni salad. The jello took me out. Potato salad.
Wait till you see the ham spread. Wait until you
see the ham salad.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Like lego blocks, all jello blocks, chicken rotisserie salad, Cashi
broccoli salad.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
You know what I actually do, fuck with broccoli salad.
It's actually delicious if you don't over mao it look
at you Ellie's.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Face spread ham spread sounds and looks.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Bacon ranch salad, poppy seed chicken salad, bacon cheddar, rotelli
pasta salad.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Because it's like half of it is missing off.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
Summer fresh pasta salad of course, tuna salad, the o
G Macaroni Supreme. And I see peas, some peas in there.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I told you I don't lie.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
You know, I could have kept going. You learned something today.
I dedicate you know what. I dedicate this part of
the show to my grandma. Shout out to Doris Dutton
uh nay Ninimon from Brown Deer, Wisconsin. Shout out to
James Dutton, my grandpa, May they rest in peace, and
my mom, Laurie Dutton. If y'all didn't know, now you
(28:42):
know that's where I come from. I don't actually was
born in Georgia, born and bred around Atlanta, but yeah,
I do have my Wisconsin roots.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yeah, I was to say we're Wisconsin roots, because I
thought you were from Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
But my mom is from Wisconsin. She moved out. She's
a break lady. She moved from She. I grew up
Irish Catholic, you know, family of five. Mom was a
school teacher, dad was a brick mason. Then at like eighteen,
her and her best friend were like, let's go to Atlanta.
It seems hot, seems popping down there. I don't know
where they got their news at the time, so they
hop in the car. They don't go to college. They
(29:18):
move to Atlanta. They get jobs as waiters. She meets
my dad at an ihop. They're both waiters. I was
going to get into some of my brown boosts a
little bit, but I'll do it now. But like having
to be I always felt this need to be sparkly
and fun and charming and successful and talented to warrant
my space in that family, like that side of the family,
(29:38):
because I feel like it was stories like that that
I was told from starting getting real deep. We went
from like finger jello to racial trauma. But but like, yeah, exactly,
I thought, really and the bar in real life was
so low it was cranberry fluff and I was trying
to be Michelin star, you know what I mean, to
have a seat at that table. Really didn't need to
(30:00):
try that hard, but I yeah, I did. I from
a young age, I like I was so out of
felt so out of place on that side of the
family that I did think that in order to like
be accepted, it had to be exceptional. And that probably
came from them like looking.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
At me, like you'll never be good enough?
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Like who that black baby?
Speaker 4 (30:21):
Right?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Where's my pretty white bait?
Speaker 2 (30:22):
They gave you that vibe if you'll never be good enough?
You didn't come from nowhere. You didn't You didn't come
into your head out of nowhere, right, that's yeah. Fact? Okay, girl,
Well you know I couldn't help it, but look it
up and there's so many interesting things here. Flutter nutter.
The sandwich was made made of marshmallow, marshmallow and peanut butter.
Peanut butter, Yeah, that's delicious.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Though you ever tried a peanut butter fluffed sandwich? Delicious?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Okay? Now that one is eating in wisconstant, But it
didn't come from it comes from the New England areas
of Massachusetts is where it started in the nineteen hundreds,
and then you got Watergate salad. What pistachio pudding whipped
topping in canned pineapple is called a watergate salad?
Speaker 1 (31:05):
My grandma does did and what is it called pistachio?
We I don't know what. Why is the pistachio so popular?
But there is a pistachio pudding dessert that we do
and we tear it up. It's neon green. Its delicious.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
I'm looking at it now. Can you tell me why
there's cherries on top of this? Those little marachino cherries?
Why is that on this?
Speaker 1 (31:26):
This not too much on my people?
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Y'all?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Hey, all right, we're gonna take a quick break, ba fam.
I hope that you weren't eating while you were listening
to this. We might have made you regret that choice.
And if you're hungry, then maybe you should see your
pastor about that, or your spiritual guid guiter, your spiritual
guide to find out why. Be right back with our
(31:49):
brown booth Brown Break see you then? All right, we're back,
ba fam. I am joined by yan nellispinal In Chris Browning,
and we are going to do Brown Boost Brown Break.
Are you guys ready? You know what you're gonna do,
boost or break.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
I am ready watergate salad.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Should we let Cris go first?
Speaker 3 (32:10):
Yeah? Do it anything? I was ready? What would I
get for?
Speaker 1 (32:13):
You're never ready? All right, y'all? Ellick, you can go first, girl,
all right.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
I'll go first. My brown break is that I noticed
a lot of the youngins in my family. They don't
want to use real banks. They've been hitting me up
like oh the young yeah, like the the nineteen to
twenty four to twenty five. They think cash Up is
the bank. Like they set up their direct deposit into
(32:38):
their cash app. They have a cash app card, and
they think that they're banking, and I'm like, wait minute,
Like that's if anything were to happen to cash Is
that FDAC in shirt. It's not FDIC shirt. Now, there's
a loophole where if you if you follow like three
steps or four steps, like if you set up direct deposit,
you get the cash up card. You do you have
(32:59):
a deposit of a minimum a certain amount every two
weeks or whatever. Then you get what's called passed through
FDIC insurance coverage through their partner bank. So it's not
because they are not a charter bank. Cash at Venmo.
They can't they PayPal, they can't give you FSC insurance
because they're not chartered banks, but they can pass through
the insurance of the bank that they're partnering with. They
(33:20):
hold your money while they show you the interface of
the tech. So I try to explain that to my
nieces and to my brother, my younger brother, and I'm like,
you know, and oh no, no, I have passed to FDS.
It says that on their site, and I'm like, okay,
but that only protects you from the from the bank
that's holding the money going under. But there's nothing protecting
you from like cash up going under or you know,
or whatever in any case like PayPal or venbo whatever,
(33:42):
there's no protection around these. So I'm I'm just a
little nervous now, and I'm curious how wide spread this
is of, Like, is this a generational thing where these
younger generations are getting targeted by these apps that are
basically looking like banks, acting like banks, borderline calling themselves bank,
but they're not actually banks, y'all. Like we need actual
(34:02):
depository institutions. You need to go to a credit union,
you need to go to a community bank, you need
to go to a regular bank, like you need an
account that is actually protected and ensured. And I just
thought that people would get that, especially after like Silicon
Valley Bank and Signature Bank and some of the bank
failures from a couple of years ago. But I don't know.
I think some of these youngins really do think that
with all the tech, the new kind of cool trendy
(34:23):
tech stuff, that they're covered or that that's that they
got what they need because they even you know, giving
debit cards and things like that.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
But yeah, Benmo does that too. Is that the same thing?
It's always trying to prompt me for a debit card.
I'm like, no, no thing care name.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
They keep sending me notifications and emails and all that.
So I'm just I'm curious about it. And I want
to encourage you. If you're listening to this and you
have a young en in your life, a young person
that you care about, check in with them. Make sure
they actually understand that these apps are technology that allows
you to engage with the money that you have sitting
in an account at a bank. But they are not banks,
(34:56):
so you gotta have yeah, whether it's a credit union
or a bank, accounts up don't be thinking that you're
banking and you have nothing but a cash app little
wallet and some cash in there, and don't leave the
money in the cash app or in the Venmo wallets
too long.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
You know, they're all doing that. That's probably why they're
I mean, that's why they're offering debit cards. They're like, well,
they're people are using it as a bank account anyway, right.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
So we might as well emulate that. But you're not
getting you know, high yield, you're not.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Getting I bet those debit cards charge fees too.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Right, So we gotta I gotta look into that more
because I was just so afraid of, like how normal
it was. My little brother like, yeah, I just use
cash up as my bank. I was like, hold up, bro,
not miss Beehulples little brother not having an those bank account.
What's going on here? Like this is not acceptable, bro?
So anyway, just talk to the young you know, check
in on them, because unfortunately, I do think these tech
companies go out of their way to make young people think, hey,
(35:45):
it looks like a bank, It functions like a bank.
You know, when I log in, it has a debit card,
and like it must dollar sign. Yeah, it holds my money,
it must be a bank. And unfortunately that it's just
not right.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
Yeah, I mean I think too, because like the banking
industry is still even though it's modernized, it's still behind, right,
Like it's so easy to open up a cash app account, Venmo, PayPal,
all these sayings, it's so easy, Robinhood, you know, put
all these accounts on your phone. Where banking really has
it and modernized that way, and I mean some reasons,
it's for good reason, you know, the regulations kind of
make it me a little bit more difficult to open
(36:17):
up an account. But I mean, I think a lot
of people don't go to these like online banks where
it is a little more modernized. You can open it
up online. You don't got to go to a branch
and sign a piece of paperwork and all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
But I don't think enough people know about it. And
but they do.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Everyone knows about cash app and it looks it looks good,
it's easy to use, and some people just go that
way without thinking about you know, some other benefits. Like
you said, but you don't have a savings account really,
and then some of them do. But it ain't gonna
be FDIC insured it's this whole nonsense that it the
younger people kind of are in this weird middle ground.
This is like the best option of them in their mind.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Yeah, and also it's not it's I don't even blame them.
I do think they're being targeted. Like when you look
at the way that cash apps spends their money, they
have where Megan thee Stallion is teaching you what bitcoin
is to try to encourage you to go buy bitcoin
on the cash app platform, and like, come on, now,
we all know who they're ultimately targeting when they put
(37:13):
Megan the Stallion in their ads and not tell a swift.
So I do think that part of it is a
little bit like we have to hold them accountable because
they are actively targeting young black and brown consumers who
are the ones that are the furthest like a way
to being served properly from banks in the first place.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
And so it's just and already unbanked or under bank.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Under bank for the most part, right, So it's just giving.
It's giving problematic a little bit.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Do you get your paycheck deposited to your cash app?
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Yes, you can see that's yep. And again it looked
like a bank. It acts like a bank, it must
be a bank. That's not true.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah, but that's okay.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
The older generations though, because I worked at bank for years,
like when I was in college, and the thing is like,
in I worked in a neighborhood I grew up in.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
It was a poor neighborhood. A lot of people will
get screw it over by the banks.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
They were getting hit with all these over draft fees,
they were getting hit with all these other penalties that
were getting on check systems. So then they wouldn't have
bank accounts. And so I think already for their probably
the parents of these kids, they grew up an environment,
especially if you're in a lower income area, where it's like,
don't go to the bank.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
The bank is already gonna like it.
Speaker 4 (38:16):
I can't, I can't open account anyway, So it's not
gonna teach me to go oput an account there. But
there's these new alternatives that kind of bypass all of that,
and I feel like it's created a really great environment
for people to be like, you know what, why even
go to a bank and deal with that. My family
and parents that have one anyways, let me go over here.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
This is so much easier that's the fact.
Speaker 1 (38:31):
That's a great point, all right, Chris, what's your boost?
Speaker 3 (38:35):
Like I caught up in your ellis breaks. I wasn't
even thinking about it anymore, but you.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Know, I would say my break is my brown break
is getting sick because I got sick last week.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
Shout out to my niece. Give me all the viruses
and diseases.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Flavor did you get this time? Little influenza, little hand,
foot of mouthcocksacky, terrible word love saying.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
It's just a regular old cold because she I went
over there because I was I was visiting back.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Home Corona with my brother.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Her nose was running the entire time, just a little
snap out that nose. And I know she got me.
You know, she's all cute, but at some point she
I'm sure she sneezed in my eye or something.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Then and now, if you.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Started eating your lunch because you didn't want to eat
it in the first half of the show because we
were talking about too many salads and you started right now,
I'm also sorry.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
People are gonna end the episode just nauseous. That's what's
gonna do you have.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
A go to cold remedy? What do you do? Dudes
have the funniest things they do when they're sick to
get better.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Go ahead, just rest it out.
Speaker 4 (39:39):
That's all I do. I did nothing, rested out. Give
me some vitamin see and drip some tea. I have
eat about three bags worth the cough drops. Then you know,
at some point and you start feeling bad.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
Bags just three.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
I had a friend who said he just drank gallon
after gallon of water to flush it out. I'm like,
you're gonna unsalinate your blood and your fluids and and
in the hospital.
Speaker 2 (40:02):
People better talk a lot about dehydration, but there is
such thing as overhydrating. Chill out, chill out.
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Now, you can sweat it out. You have sweat it
all out. Yeah, take a bunch of naps and then
you know. It took me about a week.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Speaking of that. I don't know. For some reason when
you said sweat it out, I started thinking about my
brain moves really fast. It was like hot yoga, yoga, meditation.
I'm doing a sound bath tomorrow. I'm very excited about that.
You never tried one, Chris.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
You would like it, Chris, you would like it. I've
done a few of them, and especially since I moved
to Miami, they do a lot of them down by
the beach, which is so beautiful. Every chance I get,
I'll go on. It is so nice. So Mandy, where
are you doing?
Speaker 1 (40:45):
This?
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Is it at yoga studio?
Speaker 1 (40:46):
It is at an actual sound like this is what
they do. And so I've only done it once before,
but it was so exquisite. Like the feeling that I had,
I just wish I could have floated and been. I
didn't wish I had to get in the car and
drive after because I was just so it's just when
you're really focused on the meditation and when you get
to them and it is a practice, like I have
to do it and practice at it when you have
(41:08):
a really good one, I genuinely, and I don't. I
don't have. I don't smoke a lot. I don't smoke
at all, really, but I don't take edibles. But when
I have and I've had a little bit of a high,
I genuinely it's crazy how you can produce that sensation
in your own body, like that calm and the humming
through you, and it was amazing. So the place I'm
(41:30):
and that was at like my local nature preserve. You know,
it wasn't anything special cool.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Okay, well, but when I'm going to I didn't know
what a sound bath was until one of my friends
invited me like two years ago. So the people listening
are like, she's going to a what a baff of
what what.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
To do it? Just google it, go find one and
go do it.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
True?
Speaker 1 (41:47):
Yeah, I mean they have. It's the one with the
bowls where they make them. That's not the sound because
that wouldn't be relaxing, but they make them, and this
is the place that I'm going to. It looks so beautiful.
They have like beautiful chaise lounges that we're going to
lay in with like pillows. We're gonna be so comfy,
not on the hard floor the yoga matt like I.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
Was last time.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
That's why I've done it. Yeah, I've done it.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
But that's not my boost though.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
Oh okay, that was a little half boost.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
That was a half boost. That was just that was
just an ADHD tangent where we went down that little road,
a little side show. But my boost boost her break break.
All right. So I'm writing this book, y'all know. It's
going to be called Brown Ambition, and I have the
most incredible black woman publisher. Her name was Krishn Trautman.
Legis is the legacy lit at Hashet. It's an imprint
(42:38):
at one of the top five publishers that really focuses
on amplifying b IPOC voices. And anyhow, I got this
book deal almost two years ago, and I have been writing.
I mean, I've probably written one hundred and fifty thousand
words by now, and half of them will not end
up in the book. But I've just been writing and writing.
(42:59):
And one of the credible things is sometimes I'll just
have these like epiphanies as I'm writing. And I had
one of those when I was, you know, full up
on my macaroni salad in Wisconsin this past weekend. But yeah,
belly full of fluff really brought it out of me.
But anytime I'm waiting for my children, I'm like, oh,
(43:19):
I'm gonna write all day. And so I had these
like intense I had this intense writing session. And it's
in the chapter where I talk about my therapy journey
and how I have found a lot of the like.
So I use a particular kind of therapy called DBT
that I did a I just graduated actually from a
I think I might have told you guys a two
like a twenty week DBT training thing and anyhow, And
(43:42):
I'm trying to connect the dots between how these like
skills that I've learned, these coping skills for stress can
really apply to you know, your finances and your career
and all of that. And as I'm writing it, I'm
starting to think about just the word ambition and how
I've always in Tiff and I talked about before too,
like we always sort of had this this like dual
(44:05):
way of thinking about ambition. It's amazing, we want to
celebrate it, but ambition can sometimes drive us into like
really unhealthy habits and really unhealthy ways of soothing ourselves.
Like if I just get this money, if I just
if I launched this business, if I get this you know,
if I get this accolade, if I succeed here, then
(44:27):
what then, like in that blank, that blank space, like
what would you fill that with? What is it that
you're really chasing? And I had said on my whole
life that it was around financial security, you know, raised
by a single mom, saw my mom go through a
divorce financially you know, insecure, and then also my dad
had his issues, and I went to school thinking, well,
(44:49):
I'm just I can't. I don't want to be unsafe
like that. I don't want to be insecureate that. So
I'm going to make as much money as possible. But
in writing the chapter and peeling back the layers and
I kind of talked about it a little bit earlier,
but I started to realize that and this was really
it was kind of it was very like, it's sad,
but it's also like, Wow, I'm understanding myself so much better.
(45:11):
I realize why my whole life, I've had this inner
drive to be successful, to be the best, and to
get the a's and the four point zero and get
the best score and get into a good school and
you know, join all the clubs and be the president
of this and that and like, and then put so
(45:32):
much on my plate that I wind up suffering because
you know, I've taken on so much for not the
right reasons. I've taken on so much because I wasn't
chasing financial security. I was chasing like self worth. I
was chasing this idea that I have nothing else going
for me but the things that I can do, accomplish, earn,
(45:54):
get create, and I it's almost as if my like,
so now my mind has caught up to like I
can intellectually, I get caught up to the to how
I was processing and like why I was doing that.
And what I've realized is like success in ambition, that's
a form of trauma response. Like success and ambition, it
(46:17):
can be a trauma response for me. It's a trauma response.
And you think about girls in school who you know,
act out as a trauma response. They're angry, you know,
especially on black girls, you know, the ones who were
acting out, getting into fights. What do they do? They
get arrested, they get suspended, you know, they get they
get put away, and no one looks at them and says,
(46:38):
what's what's going on? Why are you coping in this way?
But they get, you know, so they get that end
of the spectrum. And then you have me, who as
a response to trauma, I am over exceeding expectations. I'm achieving, achieving,
And no one ever stopped and said, are you okay?
Why are you taking Etceterrin in the morning so you
(46:59):
can stay up for class because you spent all night,
you know, up working and studying because you have to
get an a and why are you not staying home
when you're sick because you don't want to miss a
day of school? You know why? And my mom was
never putting that pressure on me. And it's just like,
I'm getting chills now because it's just I'm in the
middle of this process of just figuring that out. And
(47:21):
so I wonder be a fan, like how many of
y'all listening, Like how many of that? How many of
y'all does that resonate with? Because I do think the
high achievers, the ones who are, you know, getting everything
right and being perfect, I've seen in myself how that
can lead down a path to damage and destruction and pain.
(47:43):
And it's just been really eye opening and liberating to
understand where that's coming from. And I hope that with
this book with Brown Ambition, I can unlock that realization
for a lot of people that success can be a
trauma response. But now that we know that doesn't mean
that we're not going to be out here doing incredible things,
but it means we're gonna learn how to sit down.
(48:05):
We're gonna learn that we can rest that we're enough
that I don't have to do all the things to
be worthy that I can do what makes me happy
and what is enough for me and find peace in that.
And I got through that whole thing without crying, So
shout out to so loved. So never We're never gonna
(48:28):
have the right hair, the right skin color. I'm never
gonna be black enough or white enough or whatever, rich enough,
or yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
My accent's too thick, I don't have the right connections,
my network doesn't span wide enough. I'm never gonna get
that promotion. It's like you constantly think that, but you know,
to your point is if you finally face it and go, oh,
this is why I've been like this, my whole life
can be very free. I feel like that's a beautiful.
Speaker 1 (48:55):
Thing and why it can bring about so much good
but then so much bad, and like how to find that?
You know, how to be ambitious in a healthy way.
And then I just and I was like, this is
how I'm closing out the book. This is the best
way to do it. So I think I've finished. I
think I've written the last couple chapters of Brown Ambition,
and I think I finally have answered for myself what
(49:15):
I want the book to be. I didn't want it
to be another how to you know, I have so
much more to offer, I think than just then. Don't
worry that's going to be in there. How to negotiate,
how to you know, how to budget, how to pay
off debt, how to be good at money even after
you've been bad with it. All that is there, But
I'm also sharing a lot of that personal journey and
(49:37):
it just it feels good. Makes me love myself a
lot more. And yeah, at my big age, it's not
too late, borant.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
That is so important. I mean it's hard when you're
reading a book from somebody who doesn't have that relationship
with themselves. You can tell, you can tell. So yeah,
I love that for everybody who's going to read Brown Ambition.
Speaker 4 (49:58):
Yeah, and I love the day in there too, because
I mean I've read so many money books where it's
like you could tell they needed a number of pages,
so they just start repeating the same thing about fifteen
times in the book, and I'm like, all right, I
got it, Like you know, you'll need to tell me
this again. So I like that you're integrating more because
I mean, money is bigger than that, whether whatever part
of money you're talking about, it's bigger than so much
of who you are and that stuff you deal with
(50:20):
and the way you process that and understand it impacts
the way you make decisions when it comes to your money.
So I'm excited for this book because I know it's
going to be It's not gonna be one of those
typical books.
Speaker 3 (50:28):
It's gonna be something that gives a lot more than
just advice.
Speaker 1 (50:33):
You know, I'm gonna tell some stories, telling a lot
of stories that to.
Speaker 2 (50:38):
That was That's one of the biggest things that I
feel like differentiates books written by people of color in
the finance and career and personal development space is that
the stories that we have they not like us. They
don't got these stories, they don't have these experiences. They
don't and so it just colors your book in a
(50:58):
very different in different pain strokes, in a different way
that a lot of these classic money books they just
can't They just can't do that. And that's okay. I've
learned a lot from classic money books. I got a
lot of them behind me. But it's a different interaction
with a book written by somebody who shares some of
the traumas that you're talking about and having experienced, and
the discrimination in the space as well, like, let's just
(51:21):
be real, that's what it is. And when somebody comes
from that understanding, it's just so much easier for you
to like let your guard down and take the book
for what it's giving you and not constantly be questioning
where it's coming from. Oh but you wouldn't understand this.
Oh but your parents never did, never struggled with that.
You can kind of just like let that go and
really get from the book what it's meant to give you.
At least that has been my experience, and that's why
(51:42):
I chose to write a book too, because I just
was like, wait a minute, this is not easy for
me to be reading book after book after book that's
missing that secret sauce. The secret sauce is the stories
I think ye won't see.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
I promise my sauces is sauce and not mayonnaise. Okay,
it's that Georgia's southern souls.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
Okay, yes, yes, it's not the Wisconsin, the Georgia.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Well, thanks for listening, Va fam, Please please please read
a review. Thank you so much. Thank you to Nellie
and Chris for joining me at the Brown Table this week.
I'll see y'all Friday for the b a q A
Bye
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