San Diego's number one rated sex, intimacy and love coach takes you on a passionate journey through all the forbidden questions you've always wanted answers to. Get clear, sensual, guidance to help you learn about your body, experience more passion and uncover hotter chemistry. Learn how to do all of it simply by tuning in and applying what you learned. If you're currently experiencing heartbreak, emotional pain or betrayal there are plenty additional episodes to help you get through it all. Tari's unique blend of wisdom, intelligence and humor takes complex and often uncomfortable subjects and breaks them down into something you can do something with, tonight! A must for anyone who wants to elevate themselves or their intimate relationship to the next level. The Closeness podcast is also a supplement to real world in-person and virtual coaching sessions. To schedule an appointment for you and your partner, fill out an intake form at


December 12, 2023 50 mins


0:00 Intro and the types of relationships that are like this

2:34 Women who want it but their husbands drive is not there

3:42 You're trying, you're having good sex but it's still not enough for her

5:06 Thoughts on what to do if you have a very sexual wife or girlfriend

11:26 Distinguishing between a woman who doesn't want you vs someone who is turned off from you

15:02 If you're super aggressive or ...

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0:00 Intro 

2:25 Disclosures 

3:45 Connecting with your children is not something that ever ends 

5:45  1. Anytime something goes wrong, it’s going to require mom’s instant attention 

7:06 A taste of my story 

9:50 2. Many women think their ex is crazy or a narcissist 

12:00 The usual disclaimers 

14:00 A contribution from a single mother 


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0:00 Introduction

7:23 1. When she's deferential towards you

14:26 2. She looks at you directly, frequently

16:47 3. The way that she looks at you

20:55 4. Admiration

24:12 5. Her desire to have sex with you

28:50 6. The way she'll have sex with you and what she's willing to do

35:30 Putting yourself in her position

41:12 7. Little notes and mementos

42:56 8. Gifts

45:57 9. Sh...

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0:00 Intro

1:39 Men and women show sexual interest differently

3:41 Puppy dog love

8:34 Men and women initiate differently

12:33 What does it look like when a woman makes herself sexually available to you

14:23 Finding the right "time" to initiate

15:58 How to be sexual with your consensual partner

18:37 Why men have a hard time with timing

21:14 Don't ask her ...

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This is admittedly a dense episode. It's less about the usual sexy and thought provoking ideas we usually explore and more about the inane conflicts that arise in relationship which prevent us from experiencing true intimacy or a great connection! Fighting is often trite, exhausting and most couple's can't even remember what their last ten or twenty petty fights were all about. While some altercations may be symptomatic of a deepe...

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In this unprecedented interview read by the podcast host, a Closeness Client shares her struggles with intimacy and grapples with her desires for dominance and assertiveness in relationship. A two part interview with a "director's cut" version: commentary from the host, as well as an unadulterated interview. Does her experience hit home?


0:00 Intro

2:15 The basis of this interview

6:04 The unedited interview...

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Without a doubt, one of the number one reasons people struggle in long term, committed relationships, is because they feel like best friends or roommates at home. There's no passion or excitement! Nothing is moving forward, or things have gone stale. In this hour long episode you’ll learn how to immediately take the reins again and change that immediately. 


0:00 Intro

0:57 The Waiting game ...

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Often the things we aren't doing in bed can be as detrimental as the ones we are. Here are ten reasons why your wife or girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with you.

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An unusually intelligent and intellectual college student explores her boundaries of sexuality, and intimate desires. How men and women at the university level interact with each other these days in the dating world is different than what we've seen before. Together, we explore who should initiate and seduce in the bedroom, male and female nature, teaching inexperienced men how to have sex, what c...

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0:00 Intro

4:45 Speak up for yourself

12:00 Speaking unconsciously for obnoxious lengths of time

20:26 Making her come well and relax often triggers women to talk

22:24 Learning to be open and in a receptive mode to welcome intimacy

25:58 Don't have sex with people you don't like sleeping with

27:02 Beating up your man for mistakes from his past that he has remedied


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The most difficult subject for any man to think about much less discuss is likely to be: keeping it up, getting it up and finishing too quickly. This is an episode you'll want to listen to with your partner because there are tools, tips and tricks in here for both men and women. Don't skip out on incredible intimacy when the answers can be found right here!


0:00 Introductions 

1:33 Finishing too qui...

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0:00 Introductions

3:29 How exactly does a man learn to be dominant

8:06 What does healthy dominance mean?

14:30 When a woman is ready for sex before you are and understanding gender roles

16:15 What is sexual foreplay?

22:05 Women often can't express what they want

24:03 How do you handle bad results and fears

25:37 Welcome to Deep Listening™

29:04 What do women want in bed?

30:15 The shado...

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0:00 Introduction and can you have it all? Recitals and disclaimers

2:44 In a nutshell

4:20 What does it mean to have it all?

9:40 Misunderstandings

12:40 Should one person be your everything?

15:21 COVID and Politics

16:26 Are you really perfect, just the way you are?

17:40 The Disney Fairytale

21:30 How Women Select mates

24:39 How men often think of intimacy

25:45 Great sex does no...

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Avoid these thirty expressions to have a better life

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One of the biggest questions of our time as it pertains to intimacy is whether or not a man should always "finish" when having sex. This episodes dives deep into the pros and cons and explores the little known avenue of pressure that women can place on men. Topics include:

0:00 Introduction

0:53 Societal expectations around finishing

1:33 Typical expectations around male ejaculation

9:10 Is a male orgasm bad?


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Please listen to this episode with your partner. Sexually inexperienced men do not get a lot of attention. Because this subject is so sensitive, there isn't much real world instruction around it either. In fact most men grapple with a great deal of shame and guilt around the subject and often will not reach out for help. This episode is for you. 


0:00 Introduction Cause and Effect

6:34 You're not alone 


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One of the most difficult things someone can hear, is that their partner needs space. Nothing is clear, the terms are undefined, and once uttered it usually ends up in disaster. Tune in now to find out what to do.


0:00 Introduction

5:25 Malignant phrases

6:20 How to handle short term space

8:38 When she takes days, weeks and months of space

13:15 What you're supposed to know when she says she needs sp...

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1:45 Actions speak louder than words

5:55 What do you actually owe the other person?

8:24 Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

10:36 When we invest ourselves too much and get overextended

13:54 Self care and taking care of ourselves

20:23 When you think you don't want anyone else but them

23:28 getting over your previous relationships

24:36 an exercise to show yourself you can get past this......

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One of the biggest challenges of being alive today, is handling, processing, surviving and getting through a breakup. In this 90 minute episode I am going to help you get through it.


Intro 2:45

You are probably in crisis right now

7:09 We look for ways to resent our partner to get over them

8:05 Understanding the emotional scale 9:08 There must be a grieving process

10:20 The disaster of distra...

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Breakups are extremely painful and can often take months and years to heal from. But there are always warning signs and things we often ignore. In part one of this three part series, we help you identify what's working and not working right now in your current relationship, to see if it will last or if it's time to breakup, given how you're being treated.

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