30 phrases we never need to say to our partners and lovers again

Words That Don’t Serve: Phrases We Can Stop Saying in Relationships

Language is powerful—it can build connection, but it can also create distance. Unfortunately, our daily conversations are often cluttered with filler words, passive-aggressive jabs, and expressions that serve no one. In this episode, we’re taking a closer look at phrases you simply don’t need to say anymore, especially to your partner. From thoughtless throwaway lines to phrases that diminish connection, you’ll learn how trimming the verbal fat can improve the way you communicate and connect.

Stop Saying Things That Mean Nothing

Phrases like “I don’t care,” “It depends,” or “It is what it is” may feel harmless, but they add nothing to a conversation. Saying “it depends” is the verbal equivalent of shrugging your shoulders—it’s a knee-jerk response that offers no new information. Similarly, “I just can’t explain it” or “I can’t imagine it” is rarely true—if you try, you usually can explain or imagine. These empty phrases stall intimacy instead of building it. The lesson? Be intentional. If you’re asked a question, take a moment to articulate a thoughtful answer.

Avoid Expressions That Undermine Connection

Some phrases we use to sound honest or relatable actually undermine the moment. For example, if you’re intimate with someone for the first time, saying “I can’t believe I’m doing this” or “I’m normally not like this” likely doesn't have the effect you think it will and may make you sound insincere or immature. These statements can leave your partner wondering, “Do they say this to everyone?” Instead, lean into the moment without disclaimers—let your actions speak for themselves.

Similarly, phrases like “Don’t judge me” or “Who hurt you?” can be dismissive. Everyone judges—it’s part of being human—and asking someone “Who hurt you?” when they’re sharing something vulnerable minimizes their experience. A better approach is to listen, validate their feelings, and keep judgment-free curiosity at the center of your communication.

Words That Don’t Make You Special

Some expressions are more about ego than connection. Saying “I’m so picky” when it comes to dating, or referring to yourself as a “goddess” or “deity,” doesn’t make you look confident—but rather may appear performative. The truth is, most people have high standards, and most relationships are complicated. Instead of leaning on cliché phrases like “It’s complicated,” take the time to express what you actually feel. Clear, direct communication will always win over vague or over-the-top language.

Speak With Intention

The takeaway? Communication is about connection. Every word you say carries weight, so stop using phrases that stall intimacy, minimize others’ experiences, or serve no real purpose. Instead, aim for clarity, thoughtfulness, and authenticity in your conversations. By removing filler and owning what you say, you’ll not only sound more confident—you’ll create deeper, more meaningful connections with the people around you.

Ready to clean up your communication? Tune in to this episode for practical examples and actionable advice. For more tips on relationships, intimacy, and connection, visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer—without the filler. 🌟

 

CHAPTERS

0:00 Intro

6:08 So you you don't care? 

7:00 Words Carry Power 

8:05 I don't sugar coat 

10:51 Emoji

12:21 Who hurt you 

13:36 That's cute 

17:26 It is what it is

19:55 Like I said 

22:44 All filler words to speak air 

26:10 I feel like rather than I know 

30:32 Next time 

31:10 It depends 

33:20 I just couldn't imagine if it hasn't happened yet

34:42 I can't explain it...

37:16 I am so picky 

38:52 Narcissism and misogyny 

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