Empathy, understanding and answers for sexually inexperienced men

Navigating Sexual Inexperience: A Guide for Men and Their Partners

Sexual inexperience in men is a topic of conversation that is often avoided, misunderstood, or riddled with shame. This episode of Closeness addresses the stigma, challenges, and solutions for men who lack experience in the bedroom, offering actionable advice for both men and their partners. Whether you’re the one navigating inexperience or supporting someone who is, this episode provides the tools to foster understanding, intimacy, and growth.

Breaking the Silence Around Sexual Inexperience

In today’s hypersexualized world, inexperienced men often feel isolated and inadequate. Or, they simply parrot what they see in porn.  Many assume that sex is a skill that magically comes naturally once you’re in a relationship—or worse, that marriage will magically unlock expertise. The reality? Sexual skills, like any other, require learning, practice, and open communication.

Men facing this challenge often grapple with shame, guilt, and fear of judgment, making it difficult for them to reach out for help. This episode reassures them: you are not alone.

Why Women Struggle to Teach

A crucial insight shared in this episode is that women typically don’t want to teach their man how to have sex with them. Some find it less than sexy and others find it emasculating but  some partners still may be patient and understanding.

Most women however can become frustrated or resentful when they feel like they have to initiate all the time or carry the burden of sexual exploration. This dynamic often results in tension, where women may feel unfulfilled, and leave their men feeling  inadequate.

Additionally, it's my experience that sexually inexperienced men often find themselves paired with more experienced women. In these cases, women may take the lead initially but can grow weary if the dynamic remains one-sided year after year. Most women will initiate less in relationship after the romance period wears off. The challenge for men is to overcome hesitation, build confidence, and actively participate in the relationship without relying solely on their partner to drive intimacy. Sadly most men are intimidated by their female partner, too scared or nervous, or think they are pretending, role playing or acting. 

How Women Can Help Support Their Partner

While women may not want to “teach” directly, they can play a vital role in helping their inexperienced partners grow. The episode offers practical advice for women, such as:

1.Create a Safe Space: Make your partner feel safe, valued, and respected. Judgment-free communication and an openness to play is key.

2.Encourage Exploration: Gently suggest new things to try together, turning intimacy into a collaborative and enjoyable experience.

3.Focus on Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate progress and moments of connection instead of focusing on what isn’t working.

When women approach the situation with patience and support, it helps reduce the pressure and stigma men may feel, paving the way for mutual growth and deeper intimacy.

Are Women More Sexual Than Men?

The episode also challenges the stereotype that men are always the more sexual partner. In many cases, women may express greater sexual confidence or desire, especially when paired with an inexperienced partner.  Understanding that sexual energy is not inherently tied to gender can help both partners redefine their dynamic and meet each other’s needs more effectively.

Building Confidence and Connection

Inexperienced men often take on what might traditionally be seen as the “female role” in the bedroom, leaning into passivity, submissiveness or hesitation. This isn’t inherently bad, but it highlights the need for men to step into their own confidence. Developing a stronger sense of self-awareness, embracing vulnerability, and actively participating in sexual and e