To come or not to come. Whether men should finish and how women feel about it

To Come or Not to Come: Should Men Always Finish?

When it comes to intimacy, an often overlooked question to ask is quite simply: should a man ALWAYS “finish” during sex? And does he even need to? The answer quite simply is no. It is not always urgent or necessary.

Society often treats male orgasm as the end-all, be-all, end-of-it-all of sex, but is this expectation helpful—or even healthy? In this episode, we break down the cultural, emotional, and even spiritual dynamics around male orgasm and challenge the pressure placed on men to “perform” every single time.

Societal Expectations and Misconceptions

From movies to media, we’ve been conditioned to believe that male ejaculation equals a successful sexual experience. This expectation creates a performative mindset that reduces intimacy to a mechanical act and puts unnecessary pressure on men while making women feel like they are attractive and desirable.

It’s a dynamic many don’t talk about: women can unintentionally place heavy pressure on their partners to come by treating male orgasm as proof of their desirability or sexual skill. This leaves little room for men to slow down, be more present, explore, or simply enjoy the experience without worrying about the finish line.

The Pros and Cons of Always Finishing

Is a male orgasm inherently bad? Absolutely not—it’s natural part of life and for most it's going to happen whether they want it to or not. But there are downsides to chasing it every single time. Spiritually and energetically speaking, some men believe that abstaining from finishing allows them to conserve and generate more energy, deepen connection, and prolong intimacy.  For men who practice restraint, sex becomes less about “getting there” and more about being there.

On the flip side, different sex drives and physical needs mean that no two people experience intimacy the same way. For some men, finishing is an essential part of feeling satisfied and connected, and some men unfortunately can't even imagine ONE instance in their life where they would abstain.

The key is open communication: partners need to recognize that male pleasure doesn’t always have to be linear, and not reaching orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean something is “wrong.”

Pressure and the Myth of Marathon Sex

Pressure during sex—whether it’s self-imposed or from a partner—can kill the vibe faster than anything else. Some men feel they’re expected to last forever, perform perfectly, and always finish, which can also create anxiety instead of connection.

There’s no reward for marathon sex if it’s not enjoyable for both partners. Making her come a 60th time does not crown you king of the hill. Intimacy isn’t a competition or a checklist—it’s about shared experience, pleasure, and emotional connection.

Final Thoughts and Takeaways

This episode helps us remember that sex is more than a sport, an act or an objective that must be reached. For men, understanding their own bodies, communicating with their partners, and challenging societal expectations can lead to more fulfilling and pressure-free intimacy. For women, it’s about recognizing that a man not finishing doesn’t mean failure—it’s just a different way of being present.

So, to come or not to come? The answer lies in what feels best for you and your partner but we certainly have some ideas and suggestions for you. Release the pressure, explore the possibilities, and redefine what great sex means to you both.

Ready to Come Closer?

For more insights on intimacy, connection, and relationships, tune into this episode and visit Closeness.com. Let’s get closer, together. 🌟

0:00 Introduction

0:53 Societal expectations around finishing

1:33 Typical expectations around male ejaculation

9:10 Is a male orgasm bad?

12:03 The spiritual minded orgasm

13:17 R