Dating While Broke

Episode Transcript
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(00:03):
Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm AdamHeath Visible. This is Dating kind Of
Sucks, a podcast about dating,sex and relationships. This week we'll be
talking about how to date when you'rebroke. Enjoy the show whether you're married
or single or Paul right hanging onwith mans BacT of your place, listen
to us and be getting a tenderand mumble up plenty of young trying and

(00:27):
trying and having to look because weall know dating kind of songs. Thanks
for joining us for another episode ofDating Kuna Sucks. If you're new to
DKs, my name is Adam andI'm a comedian, writer, and misogynist
turn feminist, joined by my cohost Sarah, who is a millennial travel
junkie and serial dater now in acommitted relationship. We're not professionals, doctors,

(00:51):
or experts, just two people sharingour perspectives on the world of dating,
sex, and relationships. The firsthalf of every episode is spent catching
up on what's happening in our lives, and the second half is reserved for
the episode's main topic. So ifthat's all that brought you here, you
can skip through the halfway mark,or you can stick around and enjoy the
whole show. Let's get started.Well, we're back, Happy Valentine's Day.

(01:15):
It is today's February fourteenth, Valentine'sDay. We didn't do a Valentine's
Day episode, but this is asclose as thinking that's because you hate doing
episodes. I really do. Everyevery year I've been like, we should
do a Valentine's Day episode. You'relike, why the fuck would do would
we do that? It's just it'snot evergreen content. It's just it's just
only going to be valuable for thatone Like whoever listens during that one week

(01:36):
and nobody gives a shit. Itsounds like something I would say. Yeah,
yeah, I think so. Imean evergreen, yes, but only
in a certain time frame. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. You
hate Valentine's Day anyways. I meanI think it's kind of worthless and it's
a commercial holiday. It doesn't reallyhave much value. Yeah. I ordered
myself some chocolates, So I gota Heart of chocolates from whatever, one

(02:00):
of those places, Russell Stover orwhatever. Yeah, the popular I haven't
had those. Yeah, I haven'thad those in a long time. The
kind of shitty that's always the onemy good Maybe I just but like I
was kind of looking forward. Iwas like, oh, I like the
like you picked the little ones.You don't know what they're gonna taste like.
And I've so far I got oneand I've had three of them,
and they've all just been like likethey're chocolates that I like, Like I

(02:22):
like the flavors, but I'm justlike I don't. Maybe I just don't
like this and like, yeah,I don't know. I feel like my
taste buds have changed, which isweird. Actually, I feel like they've
changed ever since I had that terriblenight in Vermont before I left, like
started driving again, where I hadfood poisoning and I was like vomiting so
bad that I was like bile wascoming up. I think it literally has

(02:44):
permanently changed my taste buds because myfavorite candy of all time used to be
like peanut butter chocolate, and nowI just it doesn't really do anything for
me. You've never mentioned that before. Yeah, it's been weird. I've
been waiting for it to go away. My mother. My mother is originally
saying like, well, you know, try try this you want to have
you might have scarred them and theymight actually take some time to heal.
But I mean it's now been almosta year. Do you think I would

(03:07):
hope they would have been healed bynow? Did you get COVID around that
time? Or no? No,I didn't have COVID. It wasn't around
any human beings. And now Ijust had the food poisoning, okay,
And yeah, I think it's justI think I actually, like permanently disfigured
my taste buds, maybe with Ididn't know that was possible. I just
I think just maybe the stomach acidjust burning your tastebuds. What the fuck?

(03:29):
Well, you'll learn something, maybebeats. I'm no fucking doctor.
I never knew that was possible.I am a doctor. I don't even
know if you're not a medical doctor. Yeah, no, no, it's
true. I didn't say that part, so yes, But anyways, Yeah,
so I don't like chocolates anymore.I've decided it just doesn't do it
for me. I'm sad that Ispent money on this, but oh well,

(03:50):
I ordered door Dash for lunch andthey were like, you can add
on and have someone stopped by Walgreenson your driver's stop by Walgreens it's like,
that's a genius idea, that issmart. Yeah, you fuck up
it. Get to buy something exactlydo it for you. So then I'm
sure the delivery person thought I wasbuying this for someone else and I was
like, nope, just me.But yeah, so here here we are

(04:11):
Valentine's Day, recording this episode forto be available at the end of the
week. I'm sure a lot ofpeople are probably putting off their like major
Valentine's Day celebrations until the weekend anyways, and the weekend after or a weekend
before, like it's one or theother. Nobody wants to go out on
a Tuesday night for Valentine's Day.Usually, yeah, usually Ryan, I
had plans and then it was onlyit was to this restaurant, but we

(04:32):
weren't really jazzed about it. We'relike, this is a reservation we could
get. Do you want to eathere? And I was like I'd rather
eat here instead, but there wasnothing, and I was like, let's
just do takeout. So we're justgoing to order take out and be really
chill tonight and then over the weekendwe'll do something fun so it'll be nice.
Yeah, you guys aren't really biginto Valentine's Day generally. No,

(04:54):
he just you you you like acouple. You like you like chocolate,
like he bought. He bought alot of chocolate. Yeah, so I
have a supply. I mean,we have a supply realistically, He's good.
I can't eat it all, soright. Yeah, well yeah,
I mean that's a nice thing aboutliving with the person that you're dating is
when you do buy things like that, you know you're gonna probably share.
Yeah, so then you try tobuy something you both like. Yep,

(05:15):
we have like these little kinders Idon't know. They're like crisps, kinder
eggs. No, they're not theeggs. They're like these crisps I don't
know. And they're they're small,but bite size is dangerous because I can
eat a lot of them. Soyeah, bite size, lots of bites.
Yep. Um. We skipped aweek because I had a man cold
and I was a death door.He didn't sound very good though you might,

(05:39):
oh god, it was terrible.Well, you know, my dad
got sick, which I don't knowhow, I mean, probably just from
going over one of the neighbors fordinner. And they have kids, and
of course kids are little germ machines, and so he got sick, and
so I was bringing him mead totake care of him. And he's the
only person I was seeing because Iwasn't leaving anywhere else. So he and
so he managed to get me sick. But they and he got so sick

(06:00):
that he fell out and fell outof bed and hurt himself. And I
mean he fell out of fell inthe bathroom when right in the middle of
the night. Yeah, like heapparently went to pee and then lost his
balance and fell over, laid thereand wasn't sure he could get up again.
So then he kind of scooched himselfall the way to the back to
the bedroom and was apparently trying toyell for like Siri or whatever to call

(06:24):
me, but his voice because ofthe cough that he had, his voice
was like really gone, so hehad almost no voice at that point,
so he couldn't really do that.So he said he was just sitting there
cursing me the whole time, whichwas fine, but wasn't he was supposed
to have his Apple Watch on orsomething. Yes, he's supposed to sleep
with his Apple Watch on so hecan test see how his sleeps going and

(06:44):
everything like that. But of coursehe had it on the charger next to
his phone and couldn't reach it,so he just laid on the floor in
his place, and like, aroundlike ten thirty eleven, I texted him,
how are you feeling a nerd fromI was like, well, maybe
he slept in around eleven thirty.I was like, I'm getting a little
worried. I call no answer.I was like, I guess I should
go. O. There they goaround noon last week, like a Saturday,
and uh, and I go inthe door. I you know,

(07:05):
the doors locked. So I'm like, well, he never even came downstairs
because he usually unlocks the door.So I unlocked the door and go inside
and I hear him upstairs. I'mup here, and I go up and
he's still just laying there on hisback. Yeah, poor guy. He'd
been laying there, he said.I probably lay fellow down around him,
maybe eleven thirty midnight, so he'dbeen basically laying there for twelve hours.

(07:27):
I know, I know, poorguy. So I had to quite physically
lift him up onto his feet.And then he was still sick from the
flu, and so he just basicallyslept for a day. I had to
push back. He was flying thefloor to push that back a day,
and uh, and just take careof him for a day and make sure
just keep checking on him and everything, and uh and and all of that
and and I mean and not I'mgonna want to say this, and I

(07:49):
hope this doesn't embarrass him, butum, I mean, he's a seventy
year old man and he was layingthere for twelve hours. So like,
I mean, you know, hehad to pee a couple of times while
he was there, and he hadno choice. And I think he was
very, you know, very embarrassedabout that. But you know, I
helped him get get all back intoyou know, into fighting shape again.
And then I started getting sick rightat the like the last minute, right

(08:11):
when I supposed to drive him tothe airport. And I started getting like
this cough, and I got upin the middle let to go to the
bathroom, and all a sudden,I was really light head. And I
was like, no, wonder hefelt because if he had the same thing
I did. And then yeah,I mean I'm dizzy right now from this
flu or whatever it was. Sothen I just later I went to bed
for like a week straight and Ireally didn't do anything. Yeah, it
was it was, Yeah, itwas pretty bad. And I still have

(08:31):
this coff It's gonna come up occasionally, you might hear me cough. I'm
gonna try to mute it, butjust so you know, if it comes
in there, it's my fault,not Sarah's blame me. And then of
course this is just this is justa random rant here now. But my
my my dad, like he goesto Florida for like a month. He's
gonna go visit my my, mysiblings and family members. Great. I

(08:54):
wanted to do that. It's greatget out of the cold weather, you
know, get away from the house. It feels really empty now that my
mother's not there, like you know, like I think it's very good for
him, but he decided to turnthe water off. Now I'm in a
condo about a mile down the roadthat's attached to a resort that has a
laundry machine, like I mean alaundry room with like coin up Washington.
New washers and drives are terrible,and so I just always go over to

(09:16):
their place to do laundry because it'sliterally a mile away. And he's like
oh, I'm turning the water offjust so the pipes don't for you.
So you're gonna be on your ownfor doing laundry. So I found a
local laundry place that actually will pickup bringing do your laundry and then bring
it back all folded and stuff thenext day. Little pricey, but it
seems like it might be a goodjob. So today was the first day
they picked it up, and soI had my laundry I'll in a laundry

(09:37):
basket, like a collapsible laundry basket. I had all my clothes in the
bottom, and then today I tookmy towel and threw it in there,
and then I put my wash clothsin there. And the wash cloths,
I use a new washcloth every daybecause I mean, I'm I'm washing my
ass with that thing. I'm notgonna rewash reason the next day. If
you do that, you're disgusting,by the way, let me just say
that. So I have a newI use a new washcloth every single day,

(09:58):
and so I just take it andI usually lay it out on the
corner of the tub when it's whenI'm done with it. So then there's
a stack of that just are justdry. Well they're more than just dry,
they're like stiff, right, Yeah, Okay, so I'm realizing that
I'm handing this laundry person a stackof stiff wash cloths. Why isn't it

(10:20):
in the you just straight up here, we'll not hand not handing to them,
but I'm not handing them a basket. And like the basket so like
on the top or the wash classbecause I was the last thing that I
like basically used. I put thetowel in there. Then I took all
the wash cloths and put it ontop. So there's just like this random
like stack of like rock Hart butlike wash class you can knock on the
wall that I'm like, they're gonnathink these are jiz wash cloths, Like

(10:41):
that's really They're gonna think that's whatthese are. And I don't know how
not to, like I can't hate, yeah, like what you can't Yeah,
you can't preemptively be like, hey, sorry, those aren't jizz wash
classes. Are just normal wash clothsthat have just dried out in a stiff
way because they had soap and waterin them. But yeah, so I
didn't realize till I till I handedthe basket to the person to take away,

(11:03):
and I was like, oh mygod, those look like jizz wash.
Class though, just because they've seenit all doesn't mean that I want
to add to what they've seen.Like it's just and I want to try
to avoid. Yeah, but there, it's not like they can see anything
on them when they go to They'rejust they're literally just gonna dump it in,
you know, will they separate themapparently, So apparently they're gonna go
through and they separate everything into itsown little things, and they're gonna they're

(11:26):
gonna pick one of them and say, oh my god, this thing is
not how much did he jiz inthis thing? That's really what they're gonna
say. Especially this is the funnyparts. I called the place and I
was like, hey, can Idrop off instead of having a delivery,
like have you pick up? BecauseI don't want to pay the minimum fee
And I don't think i've enough.I said, I'm just a single guy
living alone, so I don't thinkI have enough laundry to to actually,

(11:50):
because I was talking to this woman, Yes, Cassandra, if you ever
listen to this podcast, hopefully youknow this. Uh, but yeah,
and I was like I was talkingto this very nice woman and I was
like, yeah, I'm just asingle guy. Were like staying alone,
Like I don't think I have enoughlaundry to really meet your minimum. And
I was like, it's just youknow, And so she's like, well,
you know, we can test itout and see whatever. But so
yeah, so like she's also gonnabe like, oh, yeah, this
is the single guy with the jizzcloths. That's that's how they're probably gonna

(12:11):
have my name in their order thingswith jiz guy is what it's going to
be. Now, hey, yougotta do a dropout for the jiz guy
again, Like that's that's I've becomethe jiz guy. Now you're looking way
too far into it. I don'tthink it's that serious. I don't know.
They probably have a lot of othersingle guys who do their laundry and
towels. They'll probably look at it, go that's gross, and dump it

(12:33):
in. They're not gonna be like, oh, look at this jiz cloth,
it's not okay. They've probably seena lot worse, like piss stained
sheets or shit stained sheets, oryou're probably true, you know, vomited
things or very discolorated items that areprobably worse. To look at them.
This looks crusty, but it's notand doesn't look that's probably true. You're

(12:56):
probably fine, probably, but stilljust that's all ran through my head as
I handed to them. It waslike in slow motion. It's just like
the entire problem. Spoe. Yeah, doubled down and said something. I
don't know why you did it.It would have been funny. I should

(13:16):
have should don't worry. Sorry,they're stuck together. I don't know.
I doubled down. I thought youand I should have just been like the
other, just gone the other direction. Oh oh, I mean you could
go either way. You could havebeen lonely sorry and then just say well
then I would end it just fuckingwith your or some shit like that.
But right, they'd never believe itanyways. So that's that's been the extent

(13:41):
of my love life recently as ajust wash cloths that aren't really that aren't
Yeah, hey, fun times.What else been going on that I want
to talk about, because that's thisis my time to socialize with human beings?
Yes, um, I did.I did have a good bumble conversation
with someone we like matched and hada really great conversation. We're talking about

(14:05):
all types of things and pretty muchevery day, and we were trying to
like maybe plan trying to meet upat some point. She lives, unfortunately,
of course, on the other sideof the mountains, so it's like
this, you know, it's alwaysthis obstacle. And then I was sick
and I went through a day whereI just was like really just not feeling
like I just was tired. Itcouldn' didn't sleep well, and so I

(14:26):
didn't reply, or I didn't knowI didn't reply to her. I think
it was like it was my turnto respond or whatever, and I didn't
for like twelve hours, and thenlike then at night, I finally got
up and I was feeling good enoughto like look at my phone and use
my phone, and I saw thatshe'd sent a message like five minutes earlier.
So I click on Bumble and herprofile was gone. So, like,
first of all, let me justsay, if you were going to

(14:48):
leave someone a snarky message like well, I guess I'm not important enough,
you'd have talked to after twelve hourson match five minutes later exactly. Yeah,
give them time to see it beforeyou had matched because then you know,
all you're wit is is just offin the ether. Nobody's gonna see
it. But but also, youknow, how about just a little bit
of consideration, Like I just thoughtthat was just weird, Like we've been
talking for three days straight, um, and it was just add that she

(15:09):
just decided just to disappear like that, and she knew I wasn't feeling great
because I had told her so,because there have been yeah, yeah,
there have been periods of time whereI just kind of you know, that
had been quiet for like, oh, sorry to respond to you, for
you know, I went to Ifell asleep last night, you know,
five pm because I feel like shit, and so I didn't respond in the
morning. But I think it's easyto write that off as he's lying to

(15:33):
me, honestly from being on theother side, especially if you're coming from
a negative place of dealing with alot of shitty guys and then you get
someone who's a little less responsive andhe's giving those answers. Although it might
be true and it's not fair,that's how some people think of like,
oh, he's just saying that he'snot actually sick, which is shitty,

(15:54):
but yeah, it's a reality thatactually could be the issue, and I
guess it's a moot point. Yeah. So yeah, so there was that
and uh and this weekend was anotherpop up my favorite pop up part show
in Orlando, Nude Night, andit was But you weren't there, right,

(16:15):
you just rousing success. I wasnot there. Unfortunately. This is
the first one in a while,I think I went to. I think
I've been to everyone that they've hadin the last over the last seven years.
So and I did have a piecein it, and it was it
was kind of exciting that I stillgot to, you know, exhibit there
even if I wasn't in it.But this was this is the weird thing.
So, you know, I'm soused to having photos of like my

(16:37):
models and everything that I do gettinghung on hung on the walls there,
and I think it's really cool.And I remember a friend of mine her
first time that she was a model, not for me, but for somebody
else, and she had a nudeon the wall. She's like, it's
kind of weird, Like it's kindof weird thing that you just like have
this like nude photo on the wallthat people are gonna be walking by and
like seeing that you don't even knowwho's seeing it and whatever, and uh,

(17:00):
and this is my first time havinglike it says, it's a full
frontal nudity, you know, nudityand a you know, in a photograph
in like giant twenty four by sixtycanvas hanging uh in this art gallery that
has thousands of people coming to itfor three days straight. And so I
did realize it. Even as someonewho is extremely shameless and extremely comfortable it

(17:22):
was with everything, it was stilljust a little bit like, oh,
that is a little odd now tothink about that, Like you're not controlling
it as much as you are.If I put something on Instagram or if
I put something on social media whereI have like a you know, it's
you know, I'm just probably goingto see it versus right, I know
the audience versus this audience, whichI know the audience too, but I
know that there's you know, there'sgonna be some of that audience that that

(17:44):
I have no idea who the fuckthey are, or maybe they haven't talked
to me in years or something,and they walk in and like, hey,
I know that guy. Yeah exactly, there's this dick. All right,
Well, there we go so thatwas interesting. Well, I was
seeing people tag you, like standingin front of your photo and tag you

(18:04):
saying like oh, there's Adam orwhatever their head covering your dick or the
tag covering your her hand or something. Yes, had to make it social
media friendly, but it was coolto have friends go by and you know,
and take photos within everything. Butit was just and I know that
I've got I've got my trolls,and I've got my you know, like
there's always the even though it's beenyears, there there's always these group patrols

(18:26):
that are just that's all they do. They're pathetic, they have nothing to
do with their lives, and sothey still try to attack me. And
I just love the idea of someof the local ones from Orlando having no
clue and just walking in and likejust being face to face with the photo.
It's like a it's a way forme just to be like fuck you,
you know, like ha ha,you know, like even even though
I'm not even in Florida, Ican still still shock you like that.

(18:48):
Did you see any of your trollssay anything about it online? Well,
I didn't try to look up anyof them, but I know last New
night that there were some people thatI was like very much not want to
see. They wanted to avoid asI was walking through the crowd that I
saw too. So I know thatthere are people that go to it.
Who are you know? Who arethe group that would not you know?

(19:08):
And that makes me smile a littlebit at least to think about the fact
that there they got face to facewith that interesting. But Nick, that's
right. That's kind of great revengein a way, but right, and
not even on purpose. So that'sthe best kind of revenge when it's just
like you said, accidentally, likeoh yeah, this is gonna happen.
It might be funny. Love that. So that's all the news that's fit

(19:30):
to print in my world. What'sgoing on in your life? Let's see,
we know about Valentine's Day. Igot locked out of my house yesterday
while I was on the phone withyou. That was kind of entertaining for
the for the what time, um, like third? I think it's my
third time getting locked out of thehouse. But let me explain, we
live in a very this is probablynot no longer I'm leaving the house with

(19:53):
the door being unlocked, not bringingit key. That's my resolution to this,
I'll start with that. But,um, we live a relatively safe
neighborhood and I go on walks throughoutthe day because I work from home,
so I just need to get outstretchmy legs, get some steps in,
and I typically will call Adam oncetwice. I'll go morning and then lunch,
and I never bring my call.By the way, Yeah, I

(20:15):
know it is now calling me,yeah the morning or eight in the morning.
Yeah, but I no roys inthe house and he's up and awake
and I'm not. You know,his office faces the walk up steps,
so if anybody tries to walk upto the door, he'll see them or
whatever. So I just leave andjust don't lock the door and come back

(20:37):
in and then you know, goback to work or whatever. Well yesterday
I did that not thinking anything ofit, and I come back on the
phone with you, and I'm like, what the fuck the door's locked.
So I ring the doorbell, nothing, knock on the door, nothing.
Probably ten minutes goes by, andof course I have a fucking work call
in ten minutes. So I'm standingthere being like, what the fuck am
I going to do? I havethis call? I should just I should

(21:00):
be inside right now, and hewas taking a shower while I was trying
to get in the house, ofcourse, so he lets be in,
and I'm just like, I wasjust annoyed, and I was just like,
I left the door unlocked, Whydid you lock the door? And
he's like, well, I letthe cat in, not you know,
let the cat in close the door, locked it, and then went back
to work, not thinking anything ofit. So I was annoyed, and

(21:22):
then I was like, I mean, ultimately, it is my fault,
right like I didn't lock the door, and I didn't bring a que and
I went out on my walk.But I typically never do that anyways,
and it's never been an issue.But now that he's working in earlier schedule,
he's up at the same time I'mat like work or whatever. So
now he's like mess. I don'tknow, like I feel like my flos
messed up where it's never he's beenlike getting up getting ready for work,

(21:45):
so he's not doing any you know, he's not whatever. So yeah,
I was locked out, and nowI always bring my key, so that
was my fun. I don't know. Yesterday was just a shit show of
a Monday. So It's just oneof those things too, where I'm like,
like, he did, do youthink to himself, I wonder why
the door is unlocked? And right, maybe I shouldn't, like like like,
that's that's how my brain would work, and I think that's how your

(22:07):
brain works too, And I knowthat there are people who just don't think
like that and they would just defaultlock the door. Just yeah, he
was. He had his earbuds in, was going through the motions, opened
the door, went to lock it, and then like never thought twice about
it again, that's what he said. I'm like, I understand that I'm
not like Superman at you know,I'm more frustrated at myself, but still
like, what the fuck? Yeah, no, what the fuck you were?

(22:30):
What the fucking like quite a biton the phone, let me say
that I didn't have to pee,Oh well, period had to pee,
have a call in ten minutes.The door is locked and it's fucking cold
outside, and I'm just like,wow, and it's Monday, not that
that's a big deal, but likefuck, yeah, yeah, that's a
that's lovely. Well, that's goodthat, you know, I think that,

(22:52):
you know, maybe just he couldalso think about it before he locks
it, but you bring a keyis a good idea. It's always going
to bring a key. I'm notgonna lot. You know, I never
did that before in Nashville, soit is a new It is a new
thing that I've been doing since livinghere. But still, yeah, I
mean I'm not used to locking adoor at all, So it's it's definitely,
you know, something odd for me. In my old house in Florida,

(23:14):
and I never locked the front dooronce in eleven years. So if
you came back and it was locked, you'd be like, well, I'm
probably locked out, yeah, basically, or I have to going through.
I knew how to get into,you know, through the sliding glass door
or whatever, but you know thatwould probably without trying to break it.
So although you're your your house thatyou're living in is a little bit old,
you probably could have. I wasn'tgoing to do that though. I

(23:36):
thought about it, and I waslike, it's not that serious. He'll
answer, He'll answer the phone ora text message. But I was just
surprised that he wasn't. After I'dlike texted a couple of times and called
and ringing the doorbell, I'm like, what the fuck? And he wasn't
in his office because I could seethrough the window. I was like,
where the fuck is he? Andof course he was in the shower,
So and your neighbors probably thought therewas some brightly colored vagrant just wandering around

(23:57):
trying to break into the house.Well, of course, if you're in
that coat where you were in thatreally break I was wearing yep, I
was wearing my break cooat And ofcourse it's the time where there's just a
lot of walkers in my neighborhood,just on their daily walks, and I'm
like, fuck, they're all lookingat me weird. I'm like, trust
me, I live here. I'mnot trying to break into my own house.
Wells kind of, but no,it's fine, Everything's fine. Oh

(24:18):
my good anything else going on inyour life? U? I mean,
I've been posting a lot online aboutU. The Hawk Girl walk that I
went on with a bunch of othergirls in Seattle on Sunday. So that
was a really good event. Afterjoining a Facebook group, they host walking
meetups every Sunday, and the weatherwas actually nice this past weekend, and

(24:38):
I wasn't gonna go when it wasrainy and shitty because at least from hearing
from some of the other girls,those walks kind of suck and they're like
drenched by the end of them.And I was like, yeah, so
it was sunny and I went andI actually met a lot of cool people
there, and I'm excited to youknow, from the group, I probably
connected with like four or five peoplethat I've really vibed with as we went

(25:00):
on the walk, and then weended up having brunch altogether. So the
brunch was a really good opportunity tosit down and have more conversations versus when
we were walking, it was kindof hard to intermingle with other people just
because everyone was walking at different pacesand stuff. Yeah, but from there,
I exchanged social media with all ofthose girls, and I think we're
going to like meet up and tryto go to a comedy club or you

(25:22):
know, do another brunch thing.Oh please, no, No. Groups
of women going to comedy clubs arealways terrible. It's like bachelorette party is
going to comedy club. I feellike it's always a terrible experience really because
they're there a socialize. They're notthere to actually watch the comedian. See.
That was that was my one thoughtwhen this. She's super nice,
but she suggested it because she's beenwanting to go to a comedy show,

(25:44):
and I was like, I mean, it feels like a movie scenario where
you're just gonna sit there and watchsomething and you'll talk before and after.
I suggested, next time, wejust skipped the walk and just do brunches
around Seattle, which I think wouldbe a really fun concept. It'd be
probably, Yeah, for a smallgroup, it works, but to start
a group of you know, twentythirty girls going to brunch around Seattle every

(26:07):
week and would probably be a lotto organize. But I think it's a
fun idea that I'd like to tryout, at least with a smaller group.
That's cool. Do you think thatthe having it called a hot girl
walk would turn off some people fromattending, Like some women might see it
and just think that it's either feelalready excluded because their own reservations or something

(26:27):
like that. I don't think so. No one seemed to care about the
title. I guess you're not onthe side of TikTok that mentions going on
a hawk girl walk every day typeof never. Yeah, no, so
like that, I've heard, likeyou know, a Hot Girl Summer and
things like that. Yeah, that'sabout it. Yeah, So it kind
of started last year or maybe ayear before of the hot Girl Walk of

(26:48):
just wearing your hooka tennis shoes andputting in your air pods and buying the
Bala arm bands. You have noidea what I'm talking about, but buying
like all that are weighted, andgoing on a hawk or a walk and
getting some sunshine and just vibing andyou know, being hot basically. But
it's just a term for just goingon a walk. But there's been a

(27:08):
lot of other cities I've seen iton social media at least for like Dallas,
Houston, and New York that theyhave like hot Girl walk clubs.
I suppose that's what you could callit where but it's like instead of where
we had probably twenty five people showup, they have a couple hundred people
show up, so a lot biggerscale this one has. This one just

(27:30):
started in August by someone who actuallymoved from Nashville to Seattle in August of
last year, so she's relatively newto the city as well, and she
wanted to find a way to makefriends, so she started this group I'm
like, oh, that's awesome.So it's still relatively new for the area,
but I think it'll grow over time. And of course not everyone's gonna
make it every single weekend either,right, right, and then like thirty

(27:52):
years from now, that'll just bethe mall walking group, right, let's
walk the malls inside it's too coldor too rainy, yeah right, but
the same close, right. Butstill I still thought it was fun,
and I'll go to another one,honestly though, And you and you know
from when I moved to Nashville andgoing to all the blogging events, I'd

(28:12):
much rather do a hot girl walkevent and a brunch than attend another blogger
meetup ever again in my life.Yes, yes, I know, you
know how you feel about that.And I don't blame you at all.
Blogger meetups or some of the they'rejust they're generally terrible. I found that
I would find one or two peopleout of thirty to forty that were worth

(28:36):
talking too, and that would beabout it. Well. I think that
everyone was just kind of measuring upand judging like their competition or whatever.
And I honestly maybe it was aNashville vibe too, because I was thinking
if the same event was held inNashville, I definitely think the vibe would
be different and more of like Idon't know, just I didn't have Obviously,

(28:57):
I don't live in Nashville anymore,so I didn't have a great experience
while I lived there in certain aspects, and one of them was meeting new
people and the vibe of the city. It was just very heavily influencer based
and not as real conversations. Andyes, I documented, you know,
going on the Hawk Roll Walk andI took a couple clips throughout the walk
or whatever, but for the mostpart, no one was on their phones.

(29:19):
Everyone was talking and engaging with oneanother, and it was just real
conversation. Nobody gave a fuck ofhow many followers do you have? You
know's what's this, what's that?And it just felt more real. Now
that's not to say that I didn'tvibe. I didn't vibe with everybody,
and you know something, you knowthat's just personality wise, But everyone was

(29:40):
off their phone. Everyone just wantedto connect in a genuine way. And
it's a feeling that I didn't getwhen I lived in Nashville, which was
really positive. Oh, I meanthat's good and that sounds like promising for
the future. Yeah, so yaymaking friends. Look, it's Sarah making
friends. I I'm out here,so exciting. Speaking of making friends,

(30:02):
let's shout out some new countries ofnew friends of the podcast. This week
we have Malaysia, Zimbabwe, Poland, and Latvia to call out, So
thank you new listeners from those fourcountries, and of course all of our
listeners from around the world. Absolutely, and we have before we finish out
the section of the podcast of thisepisode, we have a caller who called

(30:26):
into our dk ASS hotline and ifyou want to call and leave a voicemail
with your question about dating, sex, relationships, anything at all, you
can do so we'd love for yourcalls. So please feel free to call
in at four oh seven five onenine zero one eight one, and that
number is in the show notes.So if you're listening right now and you're
driving or something, you can alwaysclick on it in the show notes later

(30:47):
that's four oh seven five one ninezero one eight one. You can call
into our hotline leave a voicemail andwe will play it and answer your question.
So this coming up is a callfrom Suzanne Hi. This is,
Susanne. I'm listening to your groundhoggingpodcast right now because that's what I've done
my entire forty years of dating.I date the same kind of guys and

(31:11):
end up with the same results,and I don't want to do that anymore.
I tend to date toxic men.They're alcoholics, drug addict, guys
with very low self esteem, becauseyeah, I have issues, and guys
with low self esteem won't bail onme working on that in trauma therapy.

(31:33):
But yeah, my main question isat my age, which okay, yeah,
fifty eight, how do I begindating in this whole different world of
dating. Hi, Susanne, andthank you for the call. Appreciate it.
I think that one of the oneof the first great steps you can
do is realize that you're doing somethingwrong. And if for those of you

(31:56):
who don't know, groundhogging is likegroundhog Day where you just keep repeating the
same mistakes over and over and overagain. Now that you know that you're
doing it, the next step isstopping. And I would say, instead
of focusing on, like, youknow, where do I find and how
do I date the non toxic men, maybe focus on your issues related to
abandonment and maybe build up your confidenceuntil you are at a spot where you

(32:17):
know you don't need somebody in yourlife. Because once you reach that point
where you're like, I'm all set, I'm happy as I am. If
I find somebody who completes me ina good way, then so be it.
Once you're at that point, it'llbe a lot easier for you to
really recognize those red flags and menas soon as they present them, and
you can send those toxic guys packingbefore you have any time or emotional investment.

(32:40):
Yeah, I really, I reallyagree with everything you just said at
him. And I also think it'simportant that you know you're learning the pattern
and you know you want to changeand what's going on right now isn't working.
And again, just taking time tofind yourself and improve will only make
it easier as you continue you todate, but just taking the extra time

(33:01):
out to say, Okay, whatcan I do to be more self confident,
to be a stronger individual, andthen go back to you know,
dating when you're ready and when itfeels better, because then you're like,
Okay, I know what I don'twant to attract now, and I will
attract the opposite of that, andit'll be a lot easier. Absolutely,

(33:24):
And that is DKs Hotline once again. You can call and leave your voicemail
at four oh seven five one ninezero one eight one. And we are
going to take a short break.When we come back, it's going to
be a variation on What Yes specialepisode of it where I'm taking over,

(33:44):
so you don't want to miss that. This week, Adam is doing the
What to See with Sarah G andhe is covering Las Vegas, Nevada.
But instead of calling it What toSee with Sarah G this week, we're
gonna call it What's Drinkable with AdamAvitable. That's right exactly, because yeah,
there we go, because you know, I saw things, but I

(34:06):
drank a lot more. See,let's dive right into this. First of
all, Las Vegas is good forthree days max. If you're gonna stay
longer than that, you need toget out of the town for a little
bit, like and I don't evenlike going out of town like to do
things, but like go to theHoover Dam or go to the botanical gardens,
go like just out into nature fora little bit, just to get
out of the like the total mindfuckery that is Las Vegas, because that's

(34:27):
what it is. And I wasthere for my birthday. I've been there
multiple times before. But like thiscity never never closes, it never shuts
down, and if you're there morethan three days, you will go insane.
So take a break. Secondly,if you're going to go to Vegas,
spend the money on the accommodations.Don't stay somewhere cheap. It's not
worth it. I stayed at theVenetian. I stayed in the Prestige Club

(34:49):
level, which is only a fewdollars more per night, so it wasn't
like a huge increase over their normalsuites. I came to a free Continental
breakfast, which was actually pretty decent, even if it was a little bit
you know, less bacon, asin zero bacon the entire time. No
bacon, I know, were continent. No. No. They had eggs
and they had you know, sausagessometimes, and they had other things,
but they had like eggs, benedict, they had all types of but never

(35:12):
never like a tray of bacon.That's all I wanted one morning, I
just wanted to walk down there andhave a tray of fucking bacon. But
they didn't have that. But theyalso did offer an open bar cocktail hour
for three hours every afternoon, whichwas pretty fucking incredible, like just open
bar, and they were really quickwith service too, so I was impressed
of that. And the food wasgood that they the cocktail hour hand like
a little more derves and everything too, and then like an early check in

(35:35):
so you're not to check in itfour you could check in like I think
seven am, which was actually prettydecent. So even if you are the
type who just wants to go gogo in Vegas, you're gonna need a
time to take a nap, napand nap. I guarantee you that.
And so you want to be somewherecomfortable. You wanted to be somewhere good
with a good view, somewhere whereyou can order room service if you don't
want to go out for a littlebit, and so spend the money on

(35:55):
the accommodation, stay on the strip. It's worth it's worth the money.
Now let's get into Vegas itself.You could literally talk for hours about everything.
I mean it could you could haveand just an entire you could.
You know, there's so much todo, so much to eat, so
much to drink so much to justsee. But I'm going to focus on
my trip and what I personally recommendfor my type of visit. Now,
the invitable type of visit is goingto be different from a stereotype of visit.

(36:17):
Let me put you but it thatway. And if you'd like to
gamble, I don't really have anythingfor you because I don't gamble really.
You know, I spent two hundredbucks I think gambling the entire time.
But if you are going to gamble, one thing I would say is to
walk because because you know, walkin exchange the maxim amount of money you
want to spend, whether it's tenthousand dollars whatever, for chips, and
sign up for their rewards and thengo start gambling. They're going to pay

(36:40):
attention to you. They're going togive your rewards. They're going to really
reward you pretty pretty quickly with freedrinks, free foods, room dinner,
everything. They're gonna want you tonever leave, And there's no rule that
says you can't just immediately go spendfive hundred bucks there, get get all
the rewards, and then cash outall of your chips and never never gamble
the entire rest of your trip.So just a little trick there. I

(37:02):
visited Vegas with a Vice article inmind, and so that might tell you
a little bit about my version ofVegas. The author attended to find the
dives dive bar in Vegas, andmy traveling companion want to check out some
of the speakeasies and some of theplaces that maybe a little less dorsty.
So we went to a couple ofplaces, and here's the few places that
are worth our time. Number onewas the Ghost Donkey in the Cosmopauls.

(37:23):
Paulton's a pretty cool little casino,but they have a speakeasy on their second
floor. You go up into thecasino head of the food court, and
then on the back left of thefood court there's like an emergency exit door
that has a stiss sticker of adonkey on it, and you go into
that and it looks weird because itlooks like you're gonna set the alarm off
or something. But inside there isa cool little tequila bar that serves drinks

(37:46):
and mescal drinks as well and food. I'm not a tequila person. I
don't do tequila after a long nightwith strippers one night, but my friend
who did. She gave a twothumbs up. I drank. They had
real Mexican cocough, so I hadone of those and that was really good.
It gets packed, but we werethere for thirty minutes and it emped
out nicely as well. There area few other speakeasies in the Cosopaulitan.

(38:07):
I think it's kind of their thingthat they seemed like they try to do.
We didn't get to any of them, but I checked them out another
trip if I could. Especially there'sone that's inside their Oddities and Curiosity Shop
that is pretty cool. Other thanthe Ghost Donkey, we did not drink
on the strip at all except forthe free cocktail Hour. Just didn't even
bother because it just wasn't worth it. We went to downtown Las Vegas,

(38:27):
which I had never been. I'dbeen to Vegas probably maybe eight times before,
I've never been downtown and I triedout the Griffith and Coruroy, two
bars over next to each other,that both very cool, suitable, reasonable
prices, fast service, good drinks. I recommend checking them out if you're
looking for something just normal and thenalso off strip. Another good normal one
was Atomic Liquors, which and thatwas one of my two favorite bars,

(38:50):
Stomic Liquers and Dino's. Stomic Lickershas tour us friendly, good drink prices,
good looking food menu. But wewere there before the kitchen opened to
three, so we didn't actually getto try it, but it looked it
looked sound a good. Dinos isthe place that I want to live and
die in. It is a dogbar that is open twenty four hours a
day, and I immediately felt likeI was home in there. And then
we went in there at like eleventhirty in the morning. It was pretty
pretty good. Started off our Sundaypretty well there and we missed out on

(39:15):
the evening karaokee. But I heardit was insane from the manager and she
said the bar is just generally insane, and I want to just I could
just live there, Like that isa bar that I want to go to
every time I'm going to be inVegas. Now me like, we're going
to Dinos, and I might notleave Dinos, Like, well, let's
just go to Dinos at eight inthe morning and I'll just stay till four
in the afternoon. Yeah, Andthen the last stop on a trip was

(39:37):
a memorable one. It was thestrip club called the Peppermint Hippo. That
is right, the Peppermint Hippo.There were several strip clubs we can serve
visiting, and there are apparently twotypes in Vegas. There's a no liquor
fully nude for like a type ofclub, and then there's the alcohol served
and there only topless type of club. I have tried one of the no
liquor fully nude ones before in Tampa. It was called mons Venus, and

(40:00):
I remember that distinctly because I wasthere with a girlfriend and we were there
people getting dances all around fully nude, not the customers, just the dancers.
And the dancers had to put quartersinto the jukebox for when it was
their turn to dance, and sothey always just kept to keep it,
kept the music going constantly. Butone one dancer had forgotten to put quarters
in one time, so the musicjust abruptly stopped, and then all you

(40:22):
heard was just the sound of likenaked flash grinding against like denim. It
was just like this shrap shop shrap, you know, just sound just all
around us. It was just likea some type of multi mouth monster just
like yeah, it was. Itwas disgusting and terrible and not a sound
that anybody should ever would have tolisten to again. So I decided to
we decided to skip that that thosetypes of places and went into the liquor

(40:45):
served with a topless bar, astrip weap. Instead, we did try
to a place called Play It againstDands. By the way, it was
too sad. I'm not even mentionedit, just too sad to say anything
and just never go there. Pleasedon't go there. It was like it
was really that sad. But PeppermintHippo is according yeah, yeah, Peppermint
I know, like the Vice articletalked about it and I was like,
oh cool a dive bar strip club. No, this was not a dive
bar stroke club. This was justlike this is where like dreams go to

(41:07):
die strip club like it was thatbecause it was not said Peppermant Hippo is,
according to the rumors, is theowner thumbing his nose at his former
partners and owners over at the SpearmintRhino, which is a very well known
in the establishment. Also a weirdname when you think about it, Spearmint
Rhino, But Peppermint him Hippo isalso weird. The name and the giant
metal hippo sculpture, and the lobbynot was standing. It was very luxurious.

(41:29):
And yes there's a giant, fullsize hippopotamus in the lobby made out
of metal. It is insane.Cover charges are supposedly fifty bucks to get
in per person. But the doorand I had a good conversation and he
let us in for free with afree drink. And then the club was
cool, very slow during I knowI worked that well. The club was
cool, very slow during the afternoon. There's a football game that ever been
was watching. Instead, we stayedtill got a little busier, kept doing

(41:50):
shots, kept drinking more, drinkinga lot more. I got way too
drunk. I fell in love,and I spent way too much money in
the private room. And I thinkabout that because this is what uh and
then uh yeah um. And Ieven abandoned my my traveling companion for like
forty five minutes. I was justgone and she was just sitting there.
I felt so bad. But anyways, that's a story for a whole other

(42:13):
time. I only recommend this placeif you just wanted to like go spend
a ship, like if you justhave a shipload of money, just want
to spend go there, Like justgo spend it, you know, don't
no plan on recouping any of it. But otherwise go to Dinos. Like
Dinos is just if next time yougo to Vegas, just everyone needs to
go to Dinos. Then you mightask Adam, what about food did you
not eat during the you know,three days you were there? Uh,
you know what, go to fuckingzagets if you want food recommendations, all

(42:36):
right, Like I'm not a being, I'm not a foodie. I'm like
Sarah, like I'm not like Idon't care, you know. I ordered
a sixty dollars fucking room service pizzafrom from the Venetian that was delicious.
Like they gave me a literal bowlof ranch like that to dip it in.
So that was which was fantastic.But that's the type of food I
got. Like we we grabbed likefood court food every night when we were
drunk coming in, Like I wentto Fatburger like three times in the lobby

(42:58):
of the Venetian and ordered subs whenwe're a Dinos that they delivered right to
the smoky dive bar that I ate, which means I could literally just live
at Dinos like you can order foodright there, Like it's pretty much perfect.
You know, it would be great. I do a little sight seeing,
not as much as I would haveliked, but you know, I
just was getting annoyed with too manypeople. The Mafia Museum was very cool.
It was very well put together,like they put a lot of effort

(43:20):
into it, and they were away too many fucking people for me to
ever go again. Like it wasjust it was too obnoxious and I would
not suggest anyone go there doing anytype of busy season whatsoever. Wait till
like a Tuesday afternoon or something,and then go. I try to go
to the Neon Bone Yard. Ireally wanted to see all the cool kneon
and everything like that, but theywere about to they weren't quite open yet,
and I was not patient enough towait. And yeah, I always

(43:42):
wanted to go there. Oh yeah, I really want to go. But
like we're there like one thirty,like, oh well we open it too,
We've got a wedding photo shoot hereor whatever, and I'm like,
all right, well let's go.Let's go to a bar. So we
went to an Atomic Liquors nearby todrink, and then by then We're like,
fuck it, we're not going back, Like it's it's done. We
already started drinking for the day.We had not drank up to that point
because like, let's go be activeand do something and then that was it.
That was the end of the day. And other than that, like

(44:05):
every casino on the Strip is aspectacle worth bolding, um, and you
know, it's worth sightseeing. Butthe best type of sight seeing you can
do is just in your underwear,standing at the hotel room window many floors
up, just surveying the strip,you know, just completely half naked.
That's that's what I would recommend.It's it's much safer, less people and
more comfortable. Nice. So therewe go. We had very different Vegas

(44:27):
experiences, and some of those thingsI didn't experience, but it sounds like
overall, go to dinos, drink. Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Go to dinos just like you knows. I mean, we drank like for
hours and I think my bill waslike fourteen dollars, Like yeah, that's
my type of place right there.So there we go. That's what's drinkable
with a vitable um, which mightbe when when I eventually hit the road

(44:51):
again in the spring, we'll maymaybe making an occasional thing as I hit
new places. Yeah, where's thedive bar atoms at? Now? That's
right exactly A right, Well,let's go ahead and take a break and
we come back. We're going totalk about how to date while you're broke.
With recent layoffs being in the newsbeing all over my LinkedIn, and
then of course the recession and justa lot of money things that people are

(45:15):
talking about lately, of how tocut costs and things like that. I
thought it was, you know,valuable to talk about dating if you don't
have money. I know we've talkedabout dating and how money plays into relationships
and things like that, but thisis coming from a perspective of if you're
still wanting to date, how todate in a way that could work for

(45:35):
both parties, and how you shouldapproach it if you might have been impacted
from layoffs or you know, arepinching pennies right now and trying to save
up money, just given what's goingon in our economy right now. I
know you and I have both hadtimes of struggling and you know, having
to pick up extra work or youknow, cut back on things, and

(45:57):
I think that's just you know,money comes and goes in life. Um,
so how people can kind of handlethat? And uh yeah, right,
And I think that you know,dating has evolved and women have evolved
when it comes to dating, andunfortunately, I think there's a large group
of men who have not evolved asmuch when it comes to dating and that

(46:19):
can make things a little more frustrating. And what I mean by that is
that, you know, dating usedto be essentially a show of wealth,
like that was. That was whatdating was because there was this idea that
men provided and women were taken careof. And so of course you know
you'd pick nice dates and you'd betrying to wow somebody and show off your

(46:39):
your wealth essentially peacocking, you know, just like um because you know how
how long ages it was a lessthan fifty years ago women couldn't buy real
estate without men's permission, you know, like it's not that long ago like
this is you know, this isthat affected you know, like parents,

(47:01):
like our parents and grandparents very youknow, very much. Women could not
buy real estate. So so moneywas very important because you as a as
a man, you had to showthat you could provide. So you show
by going on, you're taking spendingthis money on this date trying to you
know, that's a right. Itbegan. And what has happened as dating
as evolved, of course, isthat now women are more financially you know,

(47:23):
capable, Women are financially independent.Women aren't necessarily looking for someone to
pay their bills or need someone tobe a provider. And so now they're
looking for new traits and men,you know, emotional intelligence and empathy and
someone who can have a conversation andsomeone they actually want to spend time with,
not somebody they need because they can'tbuy a house or get a credit

(47:44):
card or or get a credit cardright exactly, yea, or any of
these things. And and so Ithink that you know, plenty of men
have taken the you know, understoodthis and started to evolve into you know,
realize this, but there's still thislarge group of men that think that
no, women need providers and that'smy job and you know and everything,

(48:04):
and they don't they get mad thatwomen are like, we don't. I
don't need that anymore. And soI think it's important to talk about,
you know that if if you don'thave money, and this is this is
my kind. This is me sayingthis to men that if you don't have
money, it doesn't mean that you'reincapable of finding a match. It doesn't
mean that you're not a good personfor a relationship. It doesn't mean that

(48:25):
you know that you're not going tobe someone that a woman is going to
find. Isn't gonna you're gonna youwill be somebody that a woman's gonna find
interesting. You can be somebody.Um. It doesn't mean that you're all
your chances are fucked. Yeah,you know. And I think that's an
important thing for men to here rightnow because there are so many disgusting men
out there like Andrew Tate who arelike, you know, look at me

(48:49):
at my thirty three brigattis and mebeing in prison for sex trafficking, um
and uh and and you know,but they're but like there's they're they're using
their wealth. Is this is howyou get women? You know? That
is you have to have wealth,and you have to you have to have
money. And I think that womenvalues a lot more than money nowadays.
Wouldn't you say yes? But Iwon't say all women. You know.

(49:10):
At the same time, there area group of women who want men who
have X amount of dollars in theirbank account and who will be showbody.
I know those don't shake your head. I do know women like that or
like, oh you know, ifhe wasn't making this salary, I don't
know how interested I'd be in him. I have had conversations with pretty shallow
individuals. I'm not saying it's allyou know whatever, but it's it's not

(49:35):
just men. Then there are womenout there who, for a long time,
it's like the traditional thing of ifI'm going to go on a first
date with a man, he's goingto take me to a nice restaurant and
he's going to spend money on me, because that's my expectation when I go
out. There are those people outthere who still exist. There are but
I but I guess we're talking.I guess when I say, like,
what women are looking for, I'mlooking at emotionally healthy women. Oh,

(49:57):
I mean we're actually who are goodpartners, people you'd want to be a
partner with. I don't think anybodywould ever want to be a partner with
a woman who would have that attitudelike she's not going to be a healthy
partner, she's not gonna be somebodywho's gonna ever be someone like interesting to
date either. I agree with youon that. I'm just saying, like
when you were going on about,you know, men being a certain way,
there are there's a smaller population ofwomen who do expect men to have

(50:19):
money to pay for things for them, because that they see that as like
a traditional value that they still theyexpect. Yeah, okay, and not
to say like I have come obviouslyfrom a very traditional background, and I
used to think, you know,like dating someone who has a certain job,
who makes certain money is more attractive. And that's been obviously deconstructed over

(50:44):
the years of going like that's noteverything. I do want more, And
I think as a society, womenare realizing, hey, I can make
money, and hey I don't haveto have a guy who drives a certain
car or takes me on a fancydate or spends X amount of money.
But I think when I was youngerand that was more of you know,
I didn't know what I was doingwith dating, and I was kind of

(51:06):
just following what I thought was thething. That was the direction that I
followed was oh, he's spending alot of money on dates. He must
really like me, he must bea really good guy, and turns out,
through learning he was a piece ofshit. So right, yes,
I think definitely the tides are turning. But let's turn everybody. Let's turn
everybody that direction, not everyone thereyet, You're right, society, and

(51:28):
that is an answer to society thathas been changing too. But and so
you learn, and I think thatthat women learn that the men who use
that money and have that money aren'tusually the best the best people to match
with anyways, because right, what'stheir motive? But also if they think
the money's all they have to provide, like that's I provide the money.

(51:49):
Why do I have to be toclean emotionally? Why do I have to
participate in the household? Why doI have to be there emotionally for you?
Why do I have to communicate?You know, like they they see
money as a substupe for things,And so I think so many women have
even women who have felt like thatstart to see that the more that they
date, and then you know,and I think so, and then there's
a lot of men who have startedto realize that women need, you know,

(52:12):
need more than just the providing now, and so maybe they're trying to
actually develop themselves emotionally and intelligently inother ways too. So when you're broke
you can still date, yeah,you know, when you when you don't
have money, yes you can stilldate. Yes, you can still have
success in dating. Will you findthese occasional outliers of people that might combat
you on this? Yes? Arethose people worth your time? Right?

(52:37):
Yeah? No? And that's that'sthe important part. Is like if you're
honest, you know, say you'reon a dating app or whatever and you're
talking about going on a first date, and you're honest saying, hey,
you know, I was just laidoff from my job a couple of weeks
ago, or hey you know giventimes or rough right now, how about
let's do this instead of insert fancyevent or something here. If they go,

(52:57):
oh, well, fuck you.You know, if their response is
like, oh well, I wantto do this at this restaurant or this
bar, and my expectation is you'reyou're dropping one hundred dollars on the night,
that's not the person that you shouldbe going on a date with because
they don't have the empathy to understand, hey, you know they want to
meet me, but I don't wantto change my ways, so that right,

(53:19):
they're not the person for you.And you could definitely find people who
are willing to make it work andwho are understanding of your situation and that
you can actually really get along with. Yeah, because I think a lot
of any type of good relationship isgoing to come out of good communication.
And if you're already communicating at alevel where you're on completely different standards of
what constitute's fun and what constitute's ayou know, a good time, then

(53:43):
I think that can be difficult too. And I know there's gonna be this
the debate, the debate that we'venever even resolved and when you will usually
resolve most of ways. Yes,who pays? Yeah, And there's so
many different arguments for it. Andthen there really is like there's this argument,
well, you know, if we'reequal and we're trying to promote ulity
and equity, then then each personshould either pay for themselves or you know,

(54:04):
or whatever whoever asks should pay.But then there's the also thought of,
well, after the you know,literal decades of oppression and you know,
systemic misogyny and everything that basically womenhave been through, and the effort
that women put into getting ready versusyou know, what men do and the
costs of it, what a costa woman to get ready to go out

(54:25):
on a on a date versus whatit costs a man that even with whoever
asks, the man should still prepareto pay. And it's not sexist,
it's still you know. So there'sthere's also that, and then so like
there there are obviously, and thenthere's there's the thought that you should always
split because women want to always splitbecause they never want a man to think
that they're owed something because they payfor something. So there's like there's all

(54:49):
these different things. So we're notgoing to try to resolve. We're not
we're not resolving that today. We'regonna try to make you know, if
you've experienced, you know, somefinancial hardship over the past few months,
or you know, things change inthe next year or so, how to
still date while struggling financially and beingable to do it in a way that
you feel respected, you know,in your dating situation and you feel comfortable

(55:13):
still going out on dates and talkingabout your financial situation with the person that
you're trying to talk to. Yep, now you should not be ashamed to
talk about it, and it's okay. People have had ups and downs.
The pandemic alone has you know,thrown everybody for a loop, and even
people who have felt otherwise secure orhaving issues, So it's okay to talk
about it. Honestly, Let's startwith some of the some of the ways

(55:36):
that you can kind of still havea great time dating um. And I
think that the first point and thenthis is a good point by Sarah that
she put in our agenda here isum, don't spend money, don't have
like don't don't see it as you'retrying to imbress the person. So you
put in all this effort, allof this, you know, all this

(55:57):
money into trying to you know,impress somebody and go on this for a
couple of amazing dates and then alsobe like, well that was I just
tapped out all my credit cards andso now now I don't have any anything
else to do because that, firstof all, it makes you look manipulative,
and secondly, it's much less impressiveby the third date. You know,
it feel like yeah, yeah,exactly if he never mentions from the

(56:20):
beginning that he has and I'm notsaying on the first date, you have
to say, hey, I'm brokea shit, I shouldn't be on this
date. I think, you know, there's a way, there's a right
way to go about it. Butif you're spending a lot of money on
the first couple of dates and thenyou say, yeah, we can't do
any of these nice things anymore becauseI don't have any money, she's going
to be like, I wouldn't haveminded if we had done other things.
I wish you would have just beenhonest with me instead of basically feeling like

(56:45):
I was just lied to, becausenow now I feel like we were gonna
do all these nice things, likewhat's going on here? And it's going
to make her question how honest you'regoing to be in a relationship with her.
So don't do that, yes exactly, because she's already calling your your
honesty in a question, then that'snot going to end well. Um,
And and so that's you know,I think that's a very important first step.

(57:07):
And secondly, and and I wantto say this said the woman.
I know that there's women out therewho have said I don't mind paying you
know, it doesn't bother me.I don't mind splitting it, but I
wouldn't go on another day with himif if they do that. Have you
seen as that before, Sarah,I've heard I've seen TikTok and yeah,
yeah, that was his one chanceto prove to me and he and I'm
done after this. Yeah. Iwant to say to women, like,

(57:29):
if you do feel that way,I really want you to try to assess
why you feel that way, becausethat's that's like basically you being programmed by
a society. Um, you decidingthat that makes him less of a man
or less of a good partner becauseof things. And if you really feel
like that, you don't mind paying, but you're going to think less of
him. That does make me thinkless of you, And like, I

(57:52):
want you to really assess why youneed to why you need to feel that
way, and maybe how you canstop being like judgmental in that sense and
maybe try to be a little bitmore empathetic, because that's that's a lack
of empathy on your part, andthat's a little bit of toxic femininity on
your part too, like, whichis the basically the woman's version of toxic
masculinity, where you're like, well, that's not it's not a very manly
thing. You know, if ifyou're trying to gate keep what being a

(58:14):
man is, that's that's something youshould work through on your own. Let's
avoid first dates being dinners. We'vebeen saying, I mean for multiple reasons.
It's not only the financial side,but yeah, other reasons of it's
a longer date and all of that. But yeah, why would you put
yourself in that situation if you can'treally afford it in the first place.
You know, you're at least goingto spend fifty dollars let's say, at

(58:37):
least nowadays at least yeah, yeah, so with drinks and everything, and
if you go out to dinner,you don't want to be like cheap about
it. You don't want to belike, Okay, we can go out,
but we can only have one drinkeach and no appetizers. You know,
like why am I going out?Yeah that's weird. If you're going
to enjoy going out, go youwant to be able to go out and
just be like, let's go havefun and not worry about it, not

(58:57):
stress about what the final bill isgoing to be. So and that's that's
just smart for it would riet reasons. You don't want to get stuck with
somebody for three hours, and youalso don't want to end up spending money
on that. And I just thinkdinner is just not a good first date
anymore like it used to be thebig thing, you know, dinner and
the idea of a movie and thingslike that, and it's just I think
over time we're trying to get toknow people, but we now are learning

(59:22):
what the red flags are and learningwhat our chemistry is. And you can
learn how you can learn those thingsand see those things so quickly that you
don't need to spend two hours,three hours or somebody. You can spend
you know, an hour at abar and immediately see what's you know,
if there's any chemistry right, Andjust going back to the finance side of
things, there are other options thatdon't include spending at least fifty dollars for

(59:45):
first date and communicating early on,Hey, let's do this free event,
or let's talk about splitting the bill, or let's walk around this farmer's market
and maybe we'll spend twenty dollars oniying a drink and like a little you
know, foodstand thing here, andit won't be that expensive, and it

(01:00:06):
will probably be more fun because you'rein an ever changing environment versus just at
a table sitting across from somebody.Yep, So what other you said walking
around a farmer's market would you consideror suggest? I would check out,
you know, your city's calendar ofevents, especially like spring or summertime,
if there's any kind of music seriesthey have going on, or I know,

(01:00:27):
back in Nashville, there was likea First Friday event where there was
an art and wine walk which wasall free, so you could go into
all of these studios and they wouldjust hand you alcohol for free. And
then you know, if you wantedto pop in and get food, you
know, you'd spend the money onthe food for you know, twenty bucks
for a little thing here or there, but to walk around and be around
other people and drink in the streetwas totally free. You know, you

(01:00:47):
just show your idea. So thatwas a fun event. Cooking a meal
obviously not the first date, butcooking a meal at home, going to
the grocery store, which I knowgroceries are more expensive now, but picking
a meal that could be fun foryou to both cook together. That was
like a pandemic thing that Roy andI did. That I actually really enjoyed,
and I don't really like cooking,but like, we made sushi for
the first time, and that wasa fun data activity that probably cost a

(01:01:07):
lot less than fIF together. Andyou buy groceries right for probably twenty five
bucks. It'll, sir, youknow, be it make a pretty good
size of meal for two people,and by you know, a fifteen dollars
bottle of wine, which is cheaperthan you know, spending a couple of
glasses of wine at a restaurant.So there's there's ways to make it work
and still be fun. You know, you could even do obviously not a

(01:01:29):
hike on a first date, butyou could go on walks in a park
if that's something where you want tobe outside. It's honestly like hacking your
brain how I had to do inthe pandemic of like what could be fun
a picnic outside, you know,some kind of outdoor activities. Obviously,
once it's spring and once the weather'snicer will be a lot easier to do.
But things like that. Yeah,and it is funny because most of

(01:01:51):
the free date ideas are all thingsthat I hate. Oh well, though
you're the type of person who likesone thing you want to go to.
It are and drink. You're notopen to a lot of other things.
It makes me sound like I'm analcoholic, by the way, let me
just say that you're not. Iknow, I even have had anything to
drink since I left Vegas and like, and I probably won't. You know,
I only drink occasionally. But whenI go on dates, yes,

(01:02:14):
yes, social upcation, I needthe comfort of knowing, like at least
you know the activity and you feelcomfortable doing that. It's karaoke in a
bar, which is totally fine ifthat's your thing, and you can find
a way to have that fit withinyour budget, fine, But I'm saying,
you know, if you're trying toactually stretch your dollar and try things
other than spending money on meals orthings like that, these are some alternatives

(01:02:35):
that could still be fun, right, And so then I was trying to
think of other things because I hatewalks, like I hate trying to walk
and talk. I hate going tomuseums unless you know, I just it's
not my thing, you know,they just a good one though. I
mean, you could check your calendarat your city and if you have,
like I know, for Bank ofAmerica, you can like every first I

(01:02:57):
think it's a First Friday thing too. They have free museums that you can
visit, and Seattle has that aswell, where each week there's free museums
you can check out. And sureit's on a Wednesday night or whatever,
but you know, if you planthat with your partner or whatever, that
could be fun. Not for Adams, for me. Yeah, I mean,
here's the problem I have with museumstoo, is that you both have
to either be going at the samepace or you just don't care about the
person that you're with and you're justlike you like, you're either into it

(01:03:20):
and you're reading every exhibit and you'reyou're like really, or it's not something
you're into, which case you're notgoing to be fully invested. You're going
to be invested in Just go standon a street corner. Then in that
you want to feel like you're doingsomething with the other person. So you
walk by, you look at thisart and you go, oh that's cool
or oh that really sucks. Youtalk about why, and then you go
to the next one. You know, you you'll learn a lot about their
style. It's a learning experience formultiple reasons. You know, getting to

(01:03:45):
know them just one on one andthen also how they interact in a certain
environment. Yeah, I mean,I mean, I guess that's true.
But then you also have to gothrough a museum at the same time.
If you're negative like Adam, don'ttake it. So then I was trying
to think of other things too.I was like, what are the things
that are like I would be willingto do? And I feel like there's

(01:04:06):
there's what I feel like the betterthe not the better option. Another option,
if you are lazy, set inhis ways cranky old man, is
to have the first date. Thefirst date, go to a bar,
meet up for a bar somewhere that'sreasonable prices that you know you can afford

(01:04:26):
to buy the first round, andthen see where the night goes. After
you get through the first date andthey're comfortable with you with you, that's
when you offer come over for amovie night. That's when you offer,
uh, let's go to the pool. That's a hot tub like That's that's
when you offer the things and notin an attempt to try to like get
laid like you just as a here'sa date thing we can do that's free.

(01:04:48):
You know, let's come over,I have a drink, how you
know, dinner, no expectations,but you know, then it's it's it's
it's here. It's it's very youknow, very cheap, very much on
whatever budget work. Let's go tothe hot tub, bring drinks, Let's
go sit in the hot tub andtalk for you know, for an hour.
And so those types of things Ithink are kind of where I I
look like spend the spend the initialmoney to for the you know, for

(01:05:11):
the the dive bar drinks and youknow, and because if I mean once
again for me, if I ifsomebody's not into dive bars or you know,
they want someone that's like they needthey only go to class eyed bars.
I'm not gonna we're not gonna getalong great anyways. So like I
want someone who's gonna like be like, yeah, I'll show up at that
bar and then you know, andthen we have a couple of drinks,
you get to know each other,you have that comfort level, and then
you can kind of like after that, after you've met, then they can

(01:05:33):
assess whether or not it's you know, it's reasonable to come over to your
general area. That's my thought processon that. Oh, it's it's not
a bad thought process. I'm justproviding other options that are outside of your
noise. Yeah, no, healthylike actual options like you know these are
those are probably more emotionally healthy optionswhat Sarah's offering. Just so you know,

(01:05:55):
neither or wrong. It's just youknow, you have at it's like
your style, you know, yeahyou have why don't you kind of stay
in that lane? But just astick in a stick to that basically,
Yeah, if you date someone whowants to be a little bit more adventurous,
know, those are other options outsideof your typical true and I would
say in the meantime too. Thenyou know, dating doesn't have to be

(01:06:15):
just in person. You can alsotry to have phone calls with a person
have you know, like you canyou can do things where you know,
um, if you can't if youcan't for some reason, get together,
you know, FaceTime stuff like that. I notice, I know things like
Disney Plus and Netflix and everything,and they also have that new um family
or in a group viewing thing whereyou can like you know, you sign

(01:06:36):
in with two people or whatever youcan watch a movie simultaneously from your separate
locations, you know, and stufflike that. You know, which can
be fun as well. So thereare other options um as well, other
than what Sarah and I said.You know, but I don't know who
knows. Um, if you're toobroke, like if you're if you're so
like literally, I think if youare so broke that you can't even go

(01:06:58):
to a bar, if you meetfor a round of ranks, don't go,
don't go, don't date, thenmaybe don't date right now, like
and not because you shouldn't be datingor you're not a worthwhile person to day
or anything like that. Just maybejust save up and just you know,
save your time for other things.Like it's okay, you don't always have
to be dating. Yeah, datingshould be a fun experience. It should
be something you enjoy doing. Andif you're stressing about it to that level,

(01:07:20):
then it's okay not to do itlike you're you're not a you know,
you're not a like a not aproductive member of society. If you
don't do it like, it's okay. So I think it's an important thing
to keep in mind. Yeah,you can reprioritize and date later once things
feel more stable, And I thinkthat's the most important thing. Is Like,
if you're not up for it becauseyou need to focus on you know,

(01:07:43):
applying for more jobs or whatever orgetting back on your feet. You're
allowed to do that and not date, but yes, if you want to.
You know, if things have beenrough and you still want to date,
it's okay to want to go ona couple dates as well. You
know you have those options. Butif you're stressed about it, don't stress
self out even more by feeling likeyou also need to go on a date

(01:08:03):
to impress someone because both of youare going to have a bad time.
You're gonna be think counting pennies andmaking sure everything's together, and they're going
to feel that energy. So youwant to be in a good headspace.
Yes, yeah, there's there's nothingworse than going on date. And just
like as you're sitting there just thinkingto yourself, okay, let's see if
with this with tip, how muchis that going to end? And that's

(01:08:24):
going to cut into my monthly budget? And like and then yeah, how
much do I have on this card? How much do I have on this
card? How like? Like,and I've been in that spot, you
know, and it's it is astressful situation. Yeah, but you're always
thinking like why did I put myselfin this situation to begin with? Yeah,
at least for me, I wishI wasn't even here right now.
Yeah, Yeah, that was dumb. So to prevent that, just don't

(01:08:45):
be on the apps or do somethingthat's not going to cost a lot of
money and all. I mean,we always say this. It always stums
back to like being honest and transparentand self reflection of going maybe not the
best time, Maybe I should behonest about where I stand right now,
and that's okay. I've always thoughtof like I worked with this really elderly

(01:09:08):
not super elderly, but this olderwoman who gave really good advice when I
was, you know, twenty twotwenty three making garbage money. And she
said, she's like, money islike a river. Sometimes the river is
like really flowing and full of water, and other times it's drying up and
more in a drought, and itjust depends on the season that you're in.
And she's like, you might nothave a lot of money now,

(01:09:29):
but you'll have money later, Likeit'll all work itself out of the end.
And when you have a lot ofmoney, you might not have a
lot of money down the road,So you know, just keep those things
in mind. And I've always thoughtabout that of like, okay, conserve
and you know, it's always flowing. So don't think just because you're in
this situation now it's always going tobe like this. Things will get better,
and just take those steps to makesure that you're in a good spot

(01:09:50):
in the future. Absolutely, andI am sure that some of our listeners
probably have some free day ideas thatare better than what we came up with.
More creative, yeah done, yeah, more creative. Maybe some of
our non American listeners too, becauseI imagine that there's dating is going to
be different in you know, partsof Europe and Asia and Africa and all

(01:10:11):
over where. Maybe the cost ispretty non prohibitive, and so I'd love
to hear what some of them mighthave the things. So if you do
have other like ways to date cheaplysome ideas for that, why don't you
go ahead and let us know youcan. You can email us at Dating
kind of Sucks Podcast at gmail dotcom. You can also messages on Instagram

(01:10:32):
at Dating kind of Sucks or oneof our personal instagrams. Um I know
we're saying, I'm going to saylike email us at Dating kind of Sucks
podcast at gmail dot com. Butalso sign up for newsletters for companies that
you want to spend money at.You know, like if you're wanting to
go to some event or whatever,sign up for their newsletters and see if
they have any deals going on.That was just another thing before we wrap

(01:10:53):
up of like all the companies andthe things you want to do, because
they might have free events and freenights or like, you know, not
that I'm a big arts and craftsperson, but like Michaels will hold free
events for making crafts on a Tuesdaynight, and it's like, oh,
I could like do this free eventwith somebody and that could be cool too.
So do what you want to doand sign up for those companies newsletters
or follow them on social. That'sa good idea. I like that.

(01:11:15):
Yeah, that's another good idea.And speaking of following on social, you
can follow us on at Dating kindof Sucks, on Instagram, on YouTube.
I'm sorry if you already said someof these things I did. I
was very good jumping with something elsethat's okay. TikTok at adam Avidable or
my TikTok which is at simply sarahgyunderscore. Yes, and of course you
can watch us on YouTube. ThatSarah just said YouTube dot com slash dating

(01:11:39):
kind of sucks as the U areall for that, uh. And if
you do enjoy the podcast, wewould always love the support. We do
bonus episodes after most episodes that weput on our Patreon and so for five
bucks a month you can support usat Patreon dot com slash dCas podcast and
um, of course we have aFacebook group where people can get advice and
give tips and I'll things vent whateveryou want. That's Facebook dot Com slash

(01:12:01):
Group slash dcs podcast for that andI think that's it with promoting, now,
is that is it? You canalso give us a five star rating
and interview on iTunes if you're listening, we would love if you're a new
listener, we would love for youto give us a five star rating and
review because all of our old listeners, yeah, I've already given us ones,
but if you're brand new, youcan still do it, and we

(01:12:23):
would love for you to go outand do that. We'd love to see
a fresh review pop up. Andif you're on Spotify or as, you
can follow and heard it I thinkheard it or like it. I don't
even know how it works on Spotify, but whatever you do is helpful.
Also dm us on Instagram or socialsand let us know that you're listening.
Like, we've received a lot ofreally cool messages recently of people who have
just started listening to the podcast andthey're like, almost all the way through,

(01:12:45):
they just finish all of the episodes, which preps to you, right,
yeah, that's true. But it'sreally cool to see some of you
guys interacting with us through our directmessages and letting us know that you're here
and living vicariously through our lives aswe share them over the last like five
years. Some of you who arelike who are listening from the very beginning,
or they're gonna have some weird shocksas you catch up to the episodes

(01:13:06):
as well, like totally different lives. What yeah, I know, absolutely
well, thank you for listening.Um, we will be back with a
brand episode in a couple of weeks, and until then, whether you're married
or single or Polly right, werehanging out with spinners back at your places,
listen to us that's been getting atender and mubble up plenty of young

(01:13:29):
trying and trying and having a blockbecause we all know dating kind of sucks.
Sarah and Adam are duoba kind,he says, stupid, and sheet
isn't mind. They're not doing thisso to make any buck life as a
chickenhoods panthers. They bucked, Sowhy does it work well here with the
cruck are They both know dating kindof sucks, Dating kind of arts

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