From the DKS Vault - Surviving Valentine's Day - Dating Kinda Sucks

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hi, everyone, This is AdamHeath of Vitable here welcoming you to an
extra special episode from the Dating KindOf Sucks Vault. Sarah and I did
have an episode planning for today,but she's in Venezuela where she was experiencing
significant internet and audio quality issues,so we decided to pull a classic episode
out from a more innocent time.The year was twenty nineteen. I was

(00:22):
dating two women nicknamed Dirty Dancing andtinker Bell, and Sarah was having some
single life drama of her very ownin Nashville. The topic is surviving Valentine's
Day, and it really is fascinatinghow much can change in five years.
We will be back in two threeweeks, and in the meantime, I
wish everyone a happy Valentine's Day andwant each of you to know that if

(00:43):
you don't have someone, you aremy Valentine, my Gallantine, my broven
Tine, or my Valentine being.I love you all. Enjoy the show,
whether you're married, and I w'smanger tack at your place, listen
to us and begetting a tenderbyn mumbleof plenty of young trying and trying and

(01:04):
having to bucks because we all know, dating kind of sucks. Hey guys,
and welcome to dating kind of sucks. I'm your co host Sarah and
I'm with my partner in crime,Adam Avitable. This week is our OsO
special Valentine's Day episode. Woo yeah, I know, shit, love and

(01:26):
shit and all that wonderful stuff.Right. Well, we'll be going over
some ideas for how to plan forFebruary fourteenth, whether you're single or have
someone special this year to celebrate theday with. But before we get all
heart candies and rose petals bullshit onthis topic, do you, Adam,
have anyone you think you're gonna spendValentine's Day with? You dirty dancing or

(01:48):
the person? Well? Actually,yeah, Actually Valentine's Day this year is
launches the Nude Night Art Show CentralFlorida fair Grounds, the pop up art
show that's about sensuality and nudy andI it's February fourteenth, fifteenth and sixteenth,
and I have a photo actually it'sbeing exhibited in it, so I

(02:10):
will be there And is that youshoot? Yes, Well That's how I'm
gonna spend my Valentine's Day. Andactually Thinker Bell will be there as a
model she'll be modeling body paint forfor a friend, so she'll be there
and and I do think that actuallyalso dirty dancing might be coming at some

(02:30):
point around there too to in theissue might be in that area too sometimes
around that period. So yeah,but I'll be I'll be at the art
show. I'm not actually going tobe doing anything, So no love and
candies and flowers or anything romantic whatsoever. Just nude nudity. No, yes,
yes, just just yeah, justsex and nudity. And that's like,

(02:55):
yeah, exa Valentine, it isgetting laid, so you're like kind
of I don't know. Yeah,they'll you know, they'll be burlesque and
lots of naked you know, performanceart and then sensual and nude art on
the walls. So and maybe I'llsell my piece, so who knows it.

(03:16):
I mean I've been I've gone thelast couple of years, and I
had I had a piece in itlast year as well, So this is
a it's always kind of kind ofneat to get chosen as an artist there,
but that's that's going to be theextent of my Valentine's Day and that'll
be fine with me. And thenyou'll go home and be the millennial masturbator
and just masturbate away. Am Iright? Millennial masturbator is your nickname?

(03:38):
I think I'm about three years tooold to be a millennial. I'm I'm
the generation that we talk everybody forgetsabout. Did you see that? Mean?
By the way, it was somethingthat showed it was it was like
a news station that broke the generationsdown by by what years they were born
and completely missed generation acts, likewent from millennials to the baby boomers really

(04:01):
and just skip the years that Iwas born and that anyone generation next was
born and just didn't even mention thatit existed at all. And I was
like, that seems about right.No one cares. That seems about right.
Yeah, Hopelly gives a ship solovely. So let's talk about your
uh, let's talk about your Valentine'sDay because we've had some uh, you
know interesting uh. I feel likedevelopments in the last uh in the last

(04:26):
in the last twenty minutes even beforerecord, because we're recording on Thursday at
the end, at the end ofthe month, January thirty first, and
you have your mystery man who youwon't really talk about tonight. D oh,
the mystery will be solved at theend of this little spieling. I
knows is that insert Kermit sipping teameme here and let me uh, Okay,

(04:58):
I know I'm not gonna I will. I will never. There are
times I will say I told youso, but I'm not going to say
I told you so. In thissituation. I think that you had to
kind of work through this on yourown, and that's what's important. But
so what happened? That's just asimple question like that. Actually, let's
recap the kind of Adam. Comeon, now, last time you were
supposed to go on you had plans. What you were willing to tell us

(05:20):
was that you had plans on Sundayto go to Chattanooga all day. Yes,
we were going to drive, andso you had You're kind of excited
about an all day trip there.So how was that I took a shit
on me? Over the weekend?My car broke down on the highway,
so Chattanooga seemed pretty unlikely. Butbefore my car broke down, actually,
he texted me on Friday while asI was at a concert with my friends

(05:43):
and said that he totally forgot thathe already had something planned with his friend
and his friend's daughter, and Iwas like, okay, even though we've
talked about going to Chattanooga for Idon't know, like five or six days,
now, I guess that's fine.We don't have to go. So
I texted him and I was likedrinking and stuff, and I was like,
fuck it, Like I'm done withhis bullshit. So I was like
honestly, like I'm kind of disappointed, but whatever, and he's like,

(06:04):
honestly and then responded with something backhe use my words, not against me,
but whatever. I was like,okay. Cool. So then Sunday
his friend canceled plans and all ofa sudden, he was free all day
and I was like, hmm,that seems kind of suspicious, you know,
Like he's like, oh, yeah, it's pretty I know, but

(06:24):
like in my mind, I'm like, is it really a friend? And
like he's done nothing to prove thathe's like a liar by any means.
But I'm very guarded and walls upand just not I have no reason not
to trust you. But still I'mlike, eh, I think the general
rule of thumb, it's always betterto at least give someone the benefit of
the doubt until they prove otherwise.I mean, if he says a friend

(06:46):
and he actually tells you description,then it's worth it just to assume that
that's there's no reason for him tolie, and so don't you don't want
to automatically bring that kind of baggage. But I it's not my first rodeo.
This isn't the first fucking date I'veever been on where a guy's canceled
last minute and said, oh myfriend blah blah blah. So like I
wanted to and I did believe him, but I was like, hmm,

(07:06):
in the back of my mind,I was just kept that stored away back
there. So then we ended uphanging out on Sunday, but since I
didn't have a car, he droveto my place and I felt like he
wasn't gonna do that, but heended up coming over and it was once
we're hanging out together, there's nobullshit. And I mentioned this on the

(07:27):
last episode. He's just a niceguy. He's very straightforward, and I
just feel like there's a solid connectionthere. So he didn't stay the night
or anything because he had work earlyin the morning, and I was like
that's fine, but that was likeSunday. And then last night I went
over to his place and we cookeddinner and I didn't spend the night,
but I stayed until like eleven o'clockand then drove back home, and which

(07:50):
is late, which is late foryou. Well also like he wakes up
at five am to work out,as do I sometimes. So that was
another thing, which I know you'reprobably rolling your eyes, but so much
right now, yes, yeah,yeah, yeaheah, before you thin,
I just want to say that thewhole idea of planning a like a day
trip with somebody and like someone thatyou like that you were dating and you

(08:13):
wanting to be excited about it,and having them just be like, oh
I forgot about this, Like eventhough I think he was telling the truth
about it, it's still it's frustrating, and it's still like like obviously showed
that you weren't a priority in thatsense, like that you should be that
priority for like a day trip thattakes a little bit of effort in planning
that's not just uh hey, let'sjust you know, you go do things,

(08:33):
and it's it is frustrating to hearthat he didn't give that that as
much consideration as I think it deservedso well, And then in my mind,
I'm like, Okay, well,I'm not that important, Like maybe
I shouldn't feel like I'm that importantbecause he's only been on like four dates
so far, so I shouldn't feellike this. But at the same time,
I'm like, if you really likeme, I've had dudes that I've

(08:54):
gone on one date with will dropeverything for a chance to hang out with
me, and I'm not. I'mcool, but I don't know if I'm
that cool to like drop everything.But we already had this plan and it
just it just kind of pissed meoff. So dinner last night was great
and we talked about stuff. Butwhat's happened the last two times you've hung
out is he leaves his phone onbecause he gets work calls occasionally because he's

(09:16):
like the main person at work,and his tender keeps going off while we're
together. And at first it wasfunny because it was like thing of the
new tender match, and then itstarted getting annoying because prior to a match
then he'd have like you'd hear asound of a message and another sound of
a message, like It happened likefive times within the span of five minutes,

(09:39):
and I was like, you eitherwant to turn off your phone or
answer them, and I was kindof being a bitch. I was like,
do you want to answer those?Do you want to see what your
new matches are? And he's likestop it. He's like, I don't
really use the app, and Iwas like, okay, and I've deleted,
but I've deleted tender too, sohe's like, oh, I'm not
really on it, Like those areprobably just like old mattresses, Like,
well, you're getting messages right now, so you might want to answer those

(10:01):
old matches. And it's odd tome. No, no, I'm putting
those words in, but that's howI feel like. It was kind of
phrased of like, oh, well, I'm not even really on the app,
so like it's not a big deal. And I was like okay,
and I was trying to ration that, Okay, maybe they're just old matches
that you know, like he hadswiped right in the before and now they're

(10:22):
just now matching, which happens totally. It's a stretch. It's a stretch.
I'm aware it's a stretch, butshit does happen like that, and
I'm giving you the benefit of thedoubt. But it happened again. It
happened on Sunday, and then ithappened last night, and I kind of
looked at him, and in theback of my mind, I'm thinking about
the last time I told someone Ididn't want to be on Tinder anymore and
I wanted him to get off theapp. And I'm like, ooh,

(10:43):
should I do this? Should wehave this conversation because last time I did
it at a symphony and it blewup in my face. So did your
face or what happened with that?Okay, okay, okay, you're fair,
but or did someone gaslight you andsay that you ruin things even though
all you do to ask a simplequestion fair. I'm just saying I'm very
sensitive too now because I also likethis guy, and I don't want something

(11:07):
bad to happen just because I askhim to get off the app. So
it's like, you know what,I'm not going to ask about it.
But where the development of the storyhas happened since last night is that I
was like, let me just sleepon it. I have a good feeling
about him, but there's just acouple gut feelings that maybe if I sleep
on it, I'll wake up andI'll feel differently about it, and I'll
just take this time to process it. Well, I woke up and the

(11:28):
gut feeling was a lot worse,and I was like, fuck it,
I'm going to redownload Tinder and checkto see if anything's changed on his profile.
That was just my goal. SoI go in and I look at
his Tinder profile and it's completely changed. He's got four new photos, some
of them were selfies he's sent me, and his bio is completely different,

(11:48):
and I was like, well,clearly he's been on the app. Then
if he's making changes to his profileand completely revamping his bio, he's still
on there, So how did youfind it again so quickly? Well,
I never like unmatch with him.Oh so you didn't You didn't actually deactivated?
Yeah, I didn't deactivate. Ijust deleted the app. Yeah,

(12:09):
I just deleted. Okay, okay, So I mean I still saw his
messages on there, and I waslike hmm. So then I got home
from work and I was already ina bad mood and I texted him.
I haven't heard from him at all. Today except for twenty minutes ago.
And I started looking on his Instagramhistory because you can do that if you're
suspicious of shit. So don't othergirls shit if you're in the wrong,

(12:31):
because I will fucking find you.So I started just scrolling. I was
like, it's been five hours sincehe's not responded to my text message.
So either he's busy because he alwaysuses work as I mean, he's a
manager of a place, so healways uses work as his excuse, which
is a valid excuse. I havebusy days too, but he's been using
them a lot when he doesn't respondto me. So I was like,
let me just see if he's beenactive on Instagram within the past five hours,

(12:54):
and lo and behold he was.So there's that, yeah, hmmm,
building it And what was he doing. He was liking, uh,
following other girls Instagram and they're likehot girls too, and then liking other
girls like kind of sexy Instagram pictureswho other people who I know in Nashville.
Also for other guys that I've dated, like on that I also follow

(13:16):
on Instagram. Followed her too,probably yes, And I was like,
he probably matched with her on adating app. That's just my assumption.
But that should be bad of meto think. But no, that makes
sense. So that's just like mebeing all suspicious, right And then like
so, because I mean, likeone way to do things sometimes is even

(13:39):
if you match somebody or not,you can follow on Instagram and then if
you start messaging on Instagram and startchatting, and that's kind of a normal
thing that happens. And isn't thatalso how you and this guy started chatting
too? Well? I mean,yeah, we matched on Tinder and then
instead of exchanging phone numbers, wefollowed each other on Instagram and just texted
through there since we got notifications fasterthrough Instagram d M. So that could

(14:01):
ring a bell to me that Yeah, who suggested that? By the way,
who suggested what that you guys justfollow each other on Instagram instead of
tender notifications? I believe that wasme? Really let me hang on,
hang on, hang on. That'sa weird thing to me. I mean,
my notifications all come through at thesame text. He said, Insta

(14:24):
or text better communication? I said, we could do IG because I don't.
I don't like giving out my phonenumber before I meet someone in person.
So he asked, if you ifwe want to follow on Instagram or
text, I chose, but Ichose the tender notifications right of course.
But tender notifications, I mean theyhappen at the same time as Instagram notifications.
I don't really know that the whywhy they would be slower. I

(14:46):
don't always get them. I don'talways get them. I don't. I
don't always set of notifications with guys. Maybe that's my bad. But yeah,
okay, so did But did yousay let's move this to something else
and he said Instagram or text orsaid that was that was him? That's
an interesting, interesting thing because yeah, well to me, like I didn't

(15:07):
know that that's that's definitely a letme try to It is a kind of
like, ah, let me tryto look you up type thing. If
he has your number, he cangoogle your number and find more about you.
If he has the Instagram than obviouslycan look through your photos. But
uh, that is kind of probablya pattern of behavior. So if all
of a sudden he started following acouple of new girls on Instagram, then
it means that he was messaging themon Tinder and he probably says the same

(15:28):
thing to any of them, probablyand he's clearly still on tender because his
profiles new and he's got new photos, and he's getting the fucking the notification
of new matches and I'm there tohear it. And that was the thing
too last night. He's like,I literally only get new matches when you're
here. You're the only it's theonly time. And I was like mm
hmm, but I didn't say that. I was like, oh ha ha,

(15:50):
but I didn't say that, AndI don't know, like, I
just have this really bad gut feeling. So I decided to text him,
and this is the text that hedidn't respond to, and it took him
like six hours to respond to.But I sent him a text saying,
so, I'm going to bring thisup, and it's probably coming out from
I can't even read out from leftfield, but I want to let you
know where I'm at with things.I like you, I like hanging out

(16:11):
with you, and I'm looking forsomething more exclusive. If you're not there
yet or not on the same pagewith your feelings, that's fine. I
just felt it was important to behonest with you on how I'm feeling right
now. That's what I sent him, and then it took him six hours
to respond, and he literally respondedlike twenty minutes ago and said, hey
you. And that's one thing too, like gut feeling. I'm like,

(16:33):
you know my name, Hey you? Sorry, another long day. I
like you too. Honest to youis always the way to go, and
I'm looking for something more as well. But I should be honest too.
I don't even know if I wantto stay in Nashville. Part of me
going home is to inquire about thepossibility of moving back, which last night
we talked about that because he's goinghome for a week on a vacation and

(16:56):
he was like, I definitely don'tsee myself being back there, But now
he's saying through text that he does, and I don't want to call him.
She texted me like, hm,but last night you said you weren't.
But what that's weird. It's justlike like not a good feeling to
me, and I'm just ready tojust cut it off. I actually think
in the month of February, whichstarts tomorrow, I do not need to

(17:19):
go on any dates. This wholelike from Sergeant Slaughter to mystery Man to
now like has fucked up my mentalhealth, my priorities at work, like,
I'm just not I'm not a levelheaded person right now. And it's
been like this for two months.I need to take a step back.
Yeah, I mean, I don'tthink I would ever come out and say
you're not a level headed person.Even when you're not acting like you normally
do, You're still level headed.It's just you've been getting in your own

(17:41):
head a lot more, I thinkthan you should. You've been second guessing
yourself a lot more. And Idon't think you you know you need to.
I don't think you've ever been doinganything wrong that is weird for this
guy. And this guy, uh, he was recently in a like out
in a relationship, right, andthis is kind of this is new to

(18:03):
him. So, I mean he'sbeen single for two years, he's what
do you mean, Yeah, he'sbeen single for two years. And another
not red flag, but you rememberthat guy Michael who also who like lived
out of town, like outside ofdowntown Nashville and was like, oh,
I don't date very often and thencompletely ghosted me and he was a dick.

(18:23):
Well mystery man had said a similarline that that Michael guy said of
like, oh I'm so nervous.I never go on dates and whatever,
and I don't know, it's justlike hearing that him say that again is
like not a good gut feeling becauseI've heard it before and you're a hot,
attractive dude with like shit going foryou, So I don't know how

(18:44):
credible that is. Like I amliterally he has not done anything for me
to not trust him, but gutfeeling, I'm not feeling good about it.
Well, I think it's sometimes it'sa good idea to go with your
gut. And yeah, the wholething just sounds odd to me, like
it's just and and you know,and and it's it's it's it's interesting.
But I also it feels like there'sjust there's something else that's happening that you're

(19:07):
not privy to. And I don'tknow if there maybe there's a girl back
home that he's been talking to aswell in addition to being on tender.
Maybe he's just he is going,you know, dating around and you know,
when he's not seeing you, andso there's not really he doesn't really
necessarily want to be exclusive. He'sjust kind of you know what he's thinking

(19:27):
he does. Well, maybe maybehe's thinking that he does, but then
well sometimes you think, hey,I'd really like to be in a relationship,
could be nice, but then you'relike, hey, look at all
these people I could have sex withtoo, and your brain just goes into
both directions. So maybe it's thatI don't know, I really don't know.
This is a weird situation that thiswhole thing's odd to me, especially

(19:49):
the details that I that I knowthat you're not going to share that you
and I have talked about too,So like it's it's it's it's definitely yeah,
I don't know. So how areyou go? Like what are you?
I mean, I want to well, I don't know. I mean
I want to call him out onstuff. But yeah, like we haven't
had sex yet, and that's somethingthat he I told him about my past

(20:11):
and he respects that and wants totake it slow. I mean, he
didn't try anything last night, whichis fine, but you you said that
you like in our private conversation thatyou thought that was a little weird that
he didn't even try anything. Soyeah, that seems a little little odd
that he wasn't even like like yeah, like he just kind of left it
at that and didn't didn't like tryto make any effort. I don't.

(20:32):
I don't know, Like it feelslike there's a there's a difference between absolutely
you know, respecting someone's boundaries andyou know, obviously asking for consent,
but also asking for consent being like, hey, do you want to you
know, do you want to goback here? Do you want to do
this? Like I mean, youfeel like you want to ask those things,
especially if you're attracted to somebody.So that's odd to me that it's

(20:52):
interesting really, Like I just justthink that after four or five dates,
you know, if you want todelete Tinder and really just see someone exclusive.
And I'm so sick of having toask guys please delete the app because
I just want to be exclusive andthey're like, oh, well that's asking
a lot of me, so no, and I'm like, what the fuck?
Like I just want someone to likeme enough to just delete the fucking

(21:14):
app. I'm not asking you tocompletely change your life or whatever, but
people, no one wants to dothat for me, And that in itself
is really fucking hurtful. And Idon't think they mean it to be hurtful,
but like I get on myself aboutthat of like, god, damn,
I have been single for two fuckingyears, and I have been trying
so hard, and I can't getanybody to just delete the fucking app and

(21:36):
just date me outside of dating anybodyelse. Like I'm over it. Well,
I'm very emotional about it now,like I'm just like it's constant.
I'm in two years. It's justso exhausting. I don't want to be
single forever. Yeah, like Iwant to. I want to have a
Valentine's Day where I'm not fucking single. That would be great, but I
can't. Like it's just it's notin my cards yet, and if it's

(22:00):
not, I'm not going to wastemy time dating around anymore. Like I
just need I need a reset.I just need to not a date for
a while. Well, this isreally gonna go well with my whole rant
about how you're an idiot if youthink you need a Valentine's date so,
well, I don't. I justneed a tissue because of crying. So
it's fine. No, you know. The thing is, and we talked

(22:21):
about this earlier too, when whenwe're texting earlier, and it's it's the
fact is that you are very confident, You're very sure yourself usually you're very
you know, and you're you're attractive, you're smart, all these things.
You're funny, and so you haveyou are you are a package. You
are a good package. But youalso weren't willing to settle just because someone
shows you attention. So you're willingto give them some effort and put in

(22:45):
a little effort. But then whenthey are like they're not willing to put
it in the same amount of effort, then you move on because you don't
want to. You know, you'renot You're not willing to devalue yourself in
that way. And that's a goodthing, and it does make it harder.
It does make it exhausting to saythat, though, ugh it is.
But can you imagine right now ifyou had actually settled with one of

(23:06):
these guys in the last year andwe're on month six with someone who was
still having all these issues and youwere just making excuses for them or just
trying to ignore that, ignore thebig issues and trying to be like just
focus on the few little positive things. Is I only focus on the I

(23:26):
know that's what I don't want,but like I'm not asking for a lot,
Like the only relationship I've ever beenin where a guy has said I
love you back has been my firstone, and that was like six years
ago, Like what the fuck iswrong with me? And I know there's
nothing wrong with me, but I'mjust I'm just so over it. I'm
I'm a nice, compassionate person,and everything I keep going back to is

(23:47):
like, well, I mean,it was this shitty before the podcast,
so it can't be the podcast.But then some guys insecure about me talking
about them on the podcast, somaybe it is the podcast. And I'm
like, it's just it's just soexhausting and I'm done. I'm so done,
and that is the end of mylife. I think I need to
be I need some kind of alcoholright now, Like you need some wine,

(24:08):
Yeah you do, damn it.All I have is a slaughter.
And I know I figured you werealready drinking wine after what was happening earlier
when you're waiting for him to reply. But I think that it's hard.
It really is hard. But areset might be a good idea, you
know, just a you know,just going going free for February, you

(24:29):
know, like it might might notbe dick free in February might be a
good uh A good plan just tokind of get yourself back on appreciating who
you are and knowing your own value, because I think you really lost that
with Sergeant's Slaughter, and I thinkthat that is kind of screwed up.
Said like this guy, and thisguy had told you, you know,

(24:49):
asked you, well, you know, he told you that he would be
the only reason he was the onlyway he would choose if you didn't talk
about him on the podcast, andyou didn immediately say and yeah, you
said yeah, yeah, which iswild. And I brought up the alternative
that if you'd said, well,you know, I'll take you on a
date, but only if you don'ttell your friends about me, Like if

(25:11):
someone had said that, you'd belike, well, that's controlling. And
in this situation, it's a littledifferent because it's a podcast, but it's
still very similar. And you werewilling to, you know, to to
forego that that because in your mindthat like somehow this guy was worth it.
You didn't want to fuck things up, as we've already talked about with
him either. So maybe it's goodto kind of focus on yourself a little

(25:34):
bit. You know, really amillennial master that's going to really be the
name. That's because and be like, well, my vibrant and my two
fingers are doing great, thanks forasking, And that'll be the other two
fingers. And I learn something aboutyou right there. Sure you just said

(25:56):
two fingers. I don't know whyyou would say that. Why would you
share that information? That is sucha weird thing to share. I want
to kill myself. Oh my god, oh my god. No you're not.
You can't do that, because we'regonna start calling it two finger February
is what we're going to call itnow. I was trying to come up
with a good a good name forfor February for but two finger February seems

(26:18):
like that's the perfect idea. Ohand I get to write the intro for
next week's episode too, so Ishare fer I'm writing this down right now,
by the way to finger. I'mactually literally writing this so I don't
forget this later. It's fantastic.Okay, that just made that just made

(26:42):
my day. You know, Februaryis the second month, so it's to
slash whatever the day is no right, right, but no, that doesn't
matter. All that is just noweverybody knows what you do. I'm not
gonna say anymore. I was gonnastart explaining myself, but I feel like

(27:03):
that's probably a bad idea too,so let's just move on. Yeah.
I don't think you need to explainyourself anymore. I think we get it,
Sarah, like I think most ofus understand it. And if you
don't, then maybe somebody should watchthem porn or something. All right,
talks of me masturbating and onto Valentine'sDay, which yeah, yeah, yeah,

(27:26):
yeah, let's let's dive into ourtopic. Anything. Until we get
into a topic, I do wantto say, yes, I want to
I want to give a nice,nice salute, nice two finger salutes everybody
who's joined our Facebook group. Wejust crossed the five hundred member threshold and

(27:48):
just okay, yeah, five hundredmembers. Yeah, it's just a two
finger salute. But I want tothank everybody for for coming, you know,
for joining us in the group.If you haven't joined the group,
please feel free to join us.It is great. We talk about all
types of things. People share memes, we talk about you know, dating,
people share you know, the profiles, They ask questions, they get
advice, et cetera. Not justfrom Sarah and I, but from anybody
in the group. It just allowseverybody to have a nice, safe place

(28:11):
to talk about things. And youcan join us on there at Facebook dot
com, slash Groups, slash DKspodcast, So that's one one thing there
that that's kind of fun. We'vealso, of course got the website Dating
kind of Sucks dot Com. Wouldlove your reviews. If you are listening
to this on iTunes, please rateand review us. If on Stitcher as
well, that'd be great. It'dbe fair. And if you're stuck at

(28:32):
sixty nine, and as much aswe love sixty nine, we would like
to not be right at sixty ninereviews, right, Sarah would prefer seventy
one because you like sixty nine withtwo fingers and that was good, right,
I'm pretty happy with that one.If you are in Orlando, yeah,
I know, if you are inOrlando. Actually, before I say

(28:56):
this, I have to find themwhere this place is because I don't want
to give the wrong address. Therewe go and pull it up. If
you're in Orlando. On February thirteenth, which is the day before Valentine's Day,
I will be doing a it's nottoo late to find a Date event
at a brand new bar that iscalled Be Nice Orlando. Can Be Nice

(29:19):
is on East Washington. It's onthe corner of Washington and Rosalind. It's
a little patio bar those beer andwine, great little place. A friend
of mine runs it, Tory.She's great, but she just opened about
three weeks ago. But we'll becalled. It's not too late to find
a date. And if you comeby and buy a beer or a glass
of wine from her, I willbe there and I will write your dating
profile or rewrite it or help youedit it for free, just out there,

(29:42):
just doing some promo work and justhelp you out. So maybe you
can still get your rocks off onValentine's Day. So that's going to be
I know, I know, that'sjust to give her February thirteenth. That
probably we haven't actually figured out thetime yet. We're going to do a
Facebook event for it, but it'sat Be Nice Orlando. Probably start around
eight would be my guest eight toprobably ten or eleven, and I'll just

(30:03):
be hanging out there chilling and helpingpeople fix their dating lives, because it's
much easier to fix someone else's lifethan it is to fix your own.
And that's right. I know itreally, I mean, it really is.
I saw somebody post a meme somewherethat said something like, uh,

(30:23):
how come you always have the adviceand something about you know your single you
advice. I'm like, you knowa lot of times because if you're happy
being single, if you're okay beingsingle, then you also have a good
perspective on being in a relationship too. If you are miserable being single and
despite what obviously what you just said, like I know that you're not Your

(30:44):
goal isn't a relationship no matter thecost. Your goal is the right relationship,
right, And that's how I feeltoo, you know, like I'm
happy being single. I enjoy beingsingle, but also if I found the
right person that I was just thateverything worked out well, timing wise and
everything, I would be in arelationship. But a lot of people are
desperate for a relationship, whatever thecost, they don't matter. Like to
them, it's the relationship. It'snot who' it's the what that's the most

(31:08):
important. And that's unhealthy. AndI think that's why sometimes happy single people
are able to give a little bitof perspective on dating and relationships because they're
not desperate to try to get intoa relationship, so well the story.
Don't be desperate to find a boofor Valentine's Day, right right, that's
and that's kind I kind of getinto our topic about Valentine's Day. I
thought what might be a little entertainingwas I went through my last several Valentine's

(31:34):
Days to see what I did.They did the same. Actually, okay,
so did you really? Yeah?Okay, so let's start with twenty
eighteen. What do you do Valentine'sDay? Two th eighteen? Last year,
I went on a date? Okay, yeah, and it was the
last first date we ever went on. But I thought it was weird,
but also it was kind of coolbecause you went too a chill bar.

(31:56):
But I went on a date.You went on a first date on Valentine's
Day. I did. This wasbefore we started recording, right I did.
Yes, yes, all right,Well that's a terrible idea for her
idea, don't do that, ButI did it. Yeah, don't do
that, Okay. I spent myday at Planned Parenthood with one of the

(32:20):
girls that lived with me getting anabortion. Well yours top's mind, that's
for sure. That that was veryand then it wasn't mine, by the
way, let me just say that, make that very clear. It wasn't
mine. She just needed somebody togo with her. And so we went
and spent our entire day there andthen had Chick fil A and then I
was pretty drained from the day andI didn't go out that night. That

(32:42):
was my my Valentine's Day last year. Wow, special, I know right,
We're just going to keep going timeLike what happened? Oh, I've
got a few, Yeah, I'vegot a few. Yeah yeah. So
how about how about twenty seventeen.Twenty seventeen, I was in a relationship
and he forgot Valentine's Day and Isat there all day at work thinking he

(33:04):
was going to send flowers and bringthem into the office or he was touring
the musician guy. So I wassitting there all day waiting for them to
call me to pick up the flowersor whatever, because I gave him a
gift early before he left on tour. And I got nothing. And then
I called him and was like,so, what's up, and he's like,
oh not, then how's your daygoing? I was like, do
you realize what today is? Andhe completely forgot and it really fucking pissed

(33:29):
me off. And then at thetime, I was coaching high schoolers and
they bought me Valentine's Day presence,and I bitched him out and was like,
my fucking high schoolers remembered Valentine's Dayand got me a present, and
you're my fucking boyfriend and you didn'tget me. Shit. I was pissed.
And then we broke up two weekslater. So yeah, that was.
That was that Valentine's Day not agood one. I cried a lot.
Yeah, and that was in arelationship. That was in a relationship

(33:51):
he felt really bad, right,Yeah, which I think is an important
point for people to remember, especiallyif you're singleing Valentine's Day, that there
are many people who were in arelationship on Valentine's Day who were just as
miserable, if not more so.So, Like that's just something I always
keep in mind. Yeah. Lastyear, I I also I cried,
so see exactly. Yeah. Actuallyin twenty seventeen, I was also in

(34:15):
a relationship and we went out forfondue and uh yeah, I just had
gave each other little presents. That'snice. Yeah, So that was it
was a cute little Valentine's Day.I've never forgotten Valentine's Day in my life,
but I'm i I used to goover the top when I was married.
I'm going to go through a coupleof WHI I didn't years. Twenty
sixteen, I spent the day andevening at the Strip Club. I think

(34:37):
I drank a bottle of vodka.Yeah, twenty fifteen, I was going
through my old my old Facebook postsand stuff too. That's how I was
trying to keep dragging this twenty fifteenvalentine to Day. I also went to
the Strip club and I ran outof matches on Tinder on Valentine's Day,
like I was swiping, and italso said there's no one left and gave
me that sad, that sad messageone day which I had this. Yes,

(35:02):
And then in twenty fourteen, Ishaved a heart into my chest and
posted it on Facebook and also madeValentine's Day cards out of it that I
sent out to my single female friendsjust as a like happy Valentine's Day kind
of thing. Yeah, I shaveda heart like in my chest hair.
Yeah, so it was a pictureof me saying Happy Valentine's Day. And
so there was a heart shaved outof my chest hair. Yeah, you're

(35:25):
some weird, Like I did notknow what in the hell I cannot Yeah,
And I took a picture of it, and then I made it into
cards that I sent out to fortyor fifty friends, just happy Valentine Day
with a little like it was alittle packages. I sent a little Valentie
Day packages out to my friends atleast better than yeah, yeah yeah.

(35:49):
And it was like it was justmore of a don't be a like,
don't feel alone type thing more thananything else. Yeah. I mean I've
done that before for someone's fortieth birthday. Shape forty into my chest and just
took a picture. It was like, you know, happy, happy forty
birthday. Must grow back really fast. It does, it does. And

(36:14):
then in two thousand and eight,I wrote a sonnet in Iambic pentameter too
class, to the to the girlthat I was having the affair with because
she loved Shakespeare while I was stillmarried. So how's that class, right?

(36:35):
I wrote it, Yeah, fulllike fucking sonnet. And I found
it again and I reread it andI was like, that's actually not too
bad, like pretty decent, youknow, pretty well done. But yeah,
so that was that was that?What other weather things did you do
for Valentine's Day? Twenty sixteen wasprobably the best Valentine's Day I ever had

(36:57):
to date, and I was alsosingle, So I'm hoping that this year
will be just as amazing. Butit was an amazing day because my best
friend and I were both single onValentine's Day and we both lived in Orlando.
So we went out to have youbeen to the Sugar Factory? They
serve these huge goblet sized drinks andput dry ice, and have you been
there? No? Okay, Sowe reserved like a spot at the bar,

(37:20):
just the two of us, andour whole goal for Valentine's Day was
to get super fucked up. Sowe uss up. We go to the
bar, and I was like,we're gonna spend a lot of money tonight,
but it's better than spending it ona guy who's gonna fucking break our
hearts. So that was our mindset. So we sit down at the bar
and the bar time just kind offlirting back and forth. He's like,
oh, are you guys like celebrating. We're like, yeah, we're celebrating.
We're fucking single, bad bitches.So he gives us our goblet drink.

(37:43):
You know, we take a couplephotos of it and we start drinking
it, and then he comes byand he's like, do you guys want
to do shots? I was like, absolutely, we want to do shots.
So he gave us these like gummyshort gummy shots or whatever that were
delicious. And we're almost done withour goblet drink, which is massive and
it's about forty it's right next tothe Orlando I what's it called the sugar

(38:05):
Factory? Oh shit? Is thisKylie Jenner's place? Yes? Oh,
I have been there once? Whata terrible place? Yes, okay,
I have been there once. Okay, okay, well if the story gets
better, okay, why do youhave to ruin? But can I just
go on with my best Valentine's Day? Every story trigger triggered the memory for
me that I have been there onetime. I was trying to wipe that
out, okay, okay, yeah, okay. So we have those shots.

(38:30):
We're almost done with our goblet drink, and we're like sipping on it
and the bartender takes it. We'relike, oh no, no, we're
not. We're not finished with ityet. He goes, oh, no,
I know, and two seconds latercomes back with the refill and we're
like fuck, he goes, sowe have, so we're like, okay,
cool. So we've already finished onegoblet and had shots. We asked
for the check. We finished thesecond one, and our bill each was

(38:53):
ten dollars. He always charges forthe shots. He didn't charge us for
either of the goblet. I wasexpected to be like fifty bucks or well
total, and then once split twentyfive each, it was ten bucks apiece,
so that was cool. And thenafter that so we're like pretty tipsy,
and then we walked to go getpizza. So we go. I

(39:14):
don't actually know if we walk,that's probably a lie, but we go
to the Giordano's Pizza and I wasso drunk. I was like, I
want deep Dish. I want deepDish because I'm not getting deep dick,
so I want deep Dish. Likethat's why I that's saying so classy and
so obviously always classy, even intwenty sixteen. So we we go to

(39:37):
order the deep Dish pizza and they'relike it's gonna take forty five minutes and
we close in an hour, soit'd be easier if he just ordered like
a regular. And I was like, okay, that's fine, Like I
was looking forward to it, butfine, whatever, So we order it
that. She takes our menus andwalks away. And there's this older gentleman
sitting in a booth by himself,eating a Deep Dish pizza, and he
gets out of his seat, comesover and goes, Happy Valentine's Days.

(40:00):
Happy Valentine's Day, ladies. He'slike, how are you guys doing it?
And he was like, such acute little old man. We're like,
oh, we're good. He goes, I just overheard that you won't
be able to order a Deep Dishpizza. He goes, you know,
my wife and I before she passed, we always used to come here on
Valentine's Day and order Deep Dish.He goes, I can only ever eat
one or two slices? Would youlike the rest of my pizza? And
my heart was just like, ohmy god, this is the story ever.

(40:22):
And I'm drunk. But so hegave I thought he was gonna offer
you to deep dick you, butI guess not, no, no,
no, it's a sweet little oldman who wanted to give us the rest
of his pizza, and my friendand I were floored, so we had
all of our pizza and then wegot an entire deep dish pizza basically,
and that was the best Valentine's Dayever, like so many free things,

(40:45):
and I was single the end,happy forever. Yeah that sounds good.
Yeah, but yeah that sugar factoryplace that was generally terrible though, Like
it's just it's a like a foodI wouldn't eat there, but no,
I wouldn't eat there. We justgot we just got really drunk for like
ten dollars each. Yeah, No, that that's that's awesome that you spent
so little. I kind of hatethat that you spent so little there because

(41:07):
like their drinks are literally like twelvebucks each right now, So yeah's expensive
too. So yeah, well that'sawesome anyway. Yeah, do you have
any other look? Yes, yeah, I mean like that was the best
one. The other one that Iremember like being with somebody one year my
ex boyfriend he sent me flowers becausewe were long distance, and I was

(41:29):
super excited to get flowers. Andthen like a couple of years after the
same guy, we went out tosushi and we got into a big fight
and he like did nothing for Valentine'sDay and it was super fucked up,
and then we broke up a monthlater. So Valentine's Oh, and I've
actually been broken up with on Valentine'sDay too, So yeah, no,
I haven't had a lot of greatValentine's Days, but that one in twenty

(41:51):
sixteen was pretty good. Wow,all right, I would say, no,
yeah, yeah, Other than mymy one at the Planned Parenthood all
day, I've had pretty much greatValentine's Day. But I if I don't
celebrate, I don't care. IfI do celebrate it, I have fun
with it. I think I've talkedabout this in earlier like way, maybe
one of our first couple episodes.But every Valentine's Day, So when I

(42:13):
was married, I would send sendher roses to work, and I would
usually send like two dozen roses orthree dozen roses. I would like,
just go, you know, iouldalways send them to work. I would,
but I would always try to befunny with them. So have I
told you this? And if not, maybe I have? But yeah,
should I should? I? Anyone? Is it worth repeating it? I

(42:35):
mean maybe in new new listeners.I don't know, but but I would
always have fun with it, andI always just try to have, uh,
make the card ridiculous and offensive andfunny and uh, you know.
And I would not put her nameor my name on it, because what's
the point. She knew where theywere from. But she would always look
forward to it, and like Iwant for years, I would go through
and I do like make I'd makea pun on Valentine's Day, sharing initials

(42:58):
with that, you know, withvenereal disease, and so like, you
know, I hope your VD bringsyou more love and happiness and less swelling
and itching, or this VD willshare everything. In fact, we'll call
them his and her pies and stufflike that. And then the last year
I did it was the best one. It was happy VD, You're gonna.
Really loved these, and I wasso excited because I was like,

(43:20):
that's so brilliant, like happy VD, You're gone. I really loved these,
just like it flows so well.And when she got the flowers and
she calls and she's like, youknow, I love the flowers, but
I didn't understand the card and Iwas like, Aby, what do you
mean. It's really simple. She'slike, well, that's not what the
card said. And the card actuallysaid, my dearest Amber, Oh how
much I love you. I can'twait to see you again. Love Eric.

(43:40):
So I called the flower place andthe woman was just like, oh,
sir, it sounds like we're alittle mixed up, sent you the
wrong flowers, no problem, willsend you out, you know, another
two dozen for free. And Iwas like, oh no, no,
don't bother. We love the flowers. There's no point, just like,
let's think about that poor bastard Ericfor a minute. And the woman started
laughing so hard that she had toput me on hold because she didn't know

(44:00):
what the new. She comes back, Yeah, and she she literally like
I don't even know what I shoulddo. And I was like, don't
send him more flowers, like thatguy just found all this shit in the
front yard on fire because his girlfriendAmberg got two dozen roses with a card
with no name that just said happyvd R gonna really loved these. So
I always think about that. Sothat was and that's just such a great
story that like they sent the wrongflowers. Yeah, and I was I

(44:23):
was the wrong, Like my anyoneelse's flowers switched wouldn't have been a big
deal, but from me, itwould have made a difference. I found
when I was looking up what Ihad done past years, I found three
other cards that I did. Theseare so bad. Oh yeah. This
one says, this Valentine's de bouquethas been carefully assembled by migrant workers working

(44:45):
in cramp conditions for a meager pages, so you can enjoy flowers for three
days before they all die. Pleaseto enjoy. That was one card.
Another card said if these roses couldtalk, they'd say, help me get
me out of this fucking box Ican't see, but then also say how
much I love you. And thenthe third one. I know they weren't

(45:06):
all they weren't all winners. Thisis this one, though I can't believe
I actually and I actually sent thisto her at work. Okay, for
Valentine's Day. Here are thirty sixroses, one for each abortion I made.
You get is that hilarious? Isent those? So here's the best

(45:32):
part is that, oh my god, the front of like it would come
to her like she was you know, she was a lawyer working and working
at part like this in this inthis company, and so they would come
to the front desk and the secretarywould get the card and it would you
know, it would say the namelike on the order, but the card
was available for anybody to read,so then you know, the secretary would

(45:52):
read it, and then when theybring it up to her to her office,
her assistant would read it too,you know, before Amy actually got
it would go through like three people, so then the whole office would be
talking about what I said in thecard. So I always had to try
to escalate it so that one wasthat one was long, right like right
now, I'm like, I can'tbelieve I did that, But back then
I was so proud of that.I was. She's like, yeah,

(46:13):
everybody in the office came by ascene and uh and nobody. Everybody was
really shocked. It was amazing.So one for every abortion. You're not
sending any roses to any one thisyear, so we don't have to worry
about what you're putting on this year'scard, do we. You know,

(46:34):
I do know where you work.I'll die. I actually die if I
had to spend. If I hadto spend, I actually might do that
just for the ele of it.But scares good. Well, okay,
since we've talked about our Valentine's Daysboth being single and alone. It sounds

(46:59):
like when you're single you go tothe strip club a lot too, to
be honest, So in a relationship, I go to the strip club a
lot too, So it doesn't reallymatter, Like that's just that doesn't change,
Oh Valentine's Day. No, No, that's true, that's only Yeah.
If I do with someone, we'dprobably go do something, you know,
go out. So although I hatethe idea of it, and like

(47:19):
I'm I'm of two minds of Valentine'sDay, I hate that it's commercial.
I hate that it's become this thingwhere you can't even go and get a
go out to eat and go toa restaurant if you're not on a date
because everything, all the prices arejacked up, everything's got special menus and
all this shit. It's just it'sstupid. And I also think that people
who don't like in couple, ifyou're in a relationship and you don't celebrate
Valentine's Day and you're like, oh, well, it's stupid. It's commercial.

(47:43):
You know, I don't need aspecial day for him to tell me
he likes me, or he lovesme or whatever. I agree except that
I think that you can do thatand Valentine's Day, like you can you
can tell someone your goal in arelationship is it should be to make you
know a little small tokens and showyour affection and show up that you love
somebody and that you care for them, you know, whenever you want,
like in little moments is actually theirsweetest part. But also on Valentine's Day,

(48:06):
like, there's nothing wrong with alsodoing that on the day that's designed
for that. Yeah, but Idon't know, I do agree with you.
I think going out if you're ina relationship on Valentine's Day is so
much more expensive to do. Wheremy coworker used to on Valentine's Day,
her and her husband would make surethe babysitters were taken care of and everything,

(48:27):
and they would, like he woulddecorate the house with rose pedals or
whatever, and they'd cook a nicemeal together, they'd have a bottle of
wine, and they'd spend like thatnight together and then they would go out
on the following Sunday or following weekendor whatever day you know where Valentine's Day
didn't fall on, and they wouldgo out and celebrate again too. Because
they're like, it's just too expensiveto do it on Valentine's Day, everything's

(48:49):
booked up. Why am I spendingall this money? And then like we're
gonna have a miserable time because it'ssuper packed and whatever. So let's just
do it low key on Valentine's Dayand do something nice and then we'll go
out on another night it's not Valentine'sDay. And I actually thought that was
a good idea. I think thatis that is a good idea. I
think in relationships where they put someoneputs so much effort on earth an effort

(49:10):
emphasis on Valentine's Day, or setstheir expectations so high for Valentine's Day,
they're always going to be let down. And the reason that people do is
because they're in a shitty relationship wherethey think, well, he never shows
me affection regardless, so at leasttoday he will, and then when he
doesn't, it's like they're surprised.But why would you be surprised by that?
Why would you just be surprised thatthe guy who doesn't want to communicate

(49:32):
or show you that he loves youon a regular basis is you know,
isn't going to go out of hisway on Valentine's Day. It's just where
the Valentine's Day where I got brokenwith where he forgot it broken up with,
or the one where he forgot it. Yeah, I mean that's the
thing, right, And that's whatI feel like anytime I see someone online
who starts complaining about Valentine's Day andoh, well, you know all I

(49:54):
all I asked for is this isthis, I'm like, Well, if
he's not doing that on a regularbasis anyways, then you should have your
expectations, like solow, they shouldbe sub level on Valentine's Day itself.
And if he only does something onValentine's Day, that's just as shitty.
Like if you always if you guysalways go out crazy on Valentine's Day,
but the rest of the year hedoesn't, doesn't show you affection and doesn't

(50:15):
go to any extra effort for you, then that's that's just as bad.
That's an unhealthy, terrible relationship,and it really is. And then there's
not really a nice way to mincewords about it. There really isn't though,
Yeah it's not. Valentine's is nota band aid for making your relationship
better at all exactly. It's like, but those are the same idiots who

(50:37):
also have a baby because I thinkit's going to fix their relationship too,
Like that's that's the same thing,you know that the Yeah, they're like,
oh well, maybe if we dothis or maybe let's have a threesome,
that's going to fix things. Likethey're they're the ones that are unwilling
to actually look at the core ofthe problem and think that all these superficial
things are gonna are going to fixit. So yes, so Valentine's Day,

(50:59):
it's it's definitely one of those thingsthat if you let's talk more to
the single people to you know,if you're out there and you're single on
Voluntine's Day. Yeah, aka,yes, guys, guys and girls too.
I don't think I don't think itaffects men is as much, but
I think that there's men who likewish that they had somebody they could buy
buy roses for or something like that. And that's actually sometimes the Sometimes they're

(51:22):
at the strip club bringing flowers tothe strippers who laugh at laugh at them
later on, which is funny.I've been there. You watch that,
I think you should you entertaining,but I've I've been there and watched like
the guys who bring stuff, andit's always so like it's like, what
the hell, I can't believe thatthey're yeah, like they're bringing you know,

(51:42):
like she has a boyfriend, whatare you doing bringing her flowers?
You know. So it's it's interesting. But for men and women who if
if you well, it's a fuckingday, like why why are you letting
yourself get it's it's a fucking day, you know, Like it's like it's
a it's a third day. Whyare you letting it bother you? Is

(52:06):
it really a Thursday? Now?I haven't even looked. Yeah, oh
yeah, Actually we can't record becauseI'll be at nude night, so I'll
have to record early. I'll haveto figure out that week because the night
before that we might have to Yeah, the night before that, I'm doing
the it's not fund a date,so we'll figure it out. But yeah,
it's just a fucking Thursday. It'slike like for me, it's like
the Sunday. It's just a Sunday, you know, But it's apparently a

(52:30):
holy holiday for a lot of peopleout there who like football. And I
just realized somebody just told me todaySunday is the Super Bowl, which I'm
like, ship, Now, Ican't go to a bar because it's going
to be all these fucking drunken idiotswatching grown men chase each other on a
field over a fucking ball instead oflike, oh, I don't understand it.
It's the stupidest bullshit in the world. People who watch football are just

(52:51):
what is wrong about this episode?Super Bowl? Oh yeah, yeah,
I don't understand any anyone who watchessports on TV and like cares about them,
Like, what do you think they'regoing to be one of those athletes?
It's a watch And I'm going todisagree. You want to watch anybody

(53:13):
chase fucking other people around the fieldfor a ball? How is that enjoyable?
Rooting for that team and you enjoythe thrill of watching the game and
oh gun, yeah, okay,I don't want. No one wants you
to watch football. So go sitinside a home and be lonely. And
that's fine. I won't be lonely. That's the thing is, It's just
a fucking Sunday, that's and that'sthe thing is, it's Valentine's It's it's

(53:35):
just a day and people say,well, I go out, and if
I go out, I see thesecouples and it makes me sad. And
well, here's the thing is Iguarantee you at least half of those couples
you're seeing you have miserable relationships whoare right and they're just there. This
is their their attempt to try tofix things. So so many people in

(53:58):
relationships have miserable Valentine's Day that thefact that you don't have to go through
that should be a positive for you, Like that should be like, oh
my god, I'm so glad Idon't have to do anything for Valentine's Day.
I so glad that I don't havesomeone else for exactly and not have
to be bothered by any annoying person. Well, you know, in my
in my in my opinion, whichof course this is all my opinion is

(54:21):
is that you know, number one, you don't need to be with someone
to be fulfilled in your life,Like you know, you if your goal
should never be a relationship, Yourgoal should be whatever your life goals are.
You should have life goals that involveyou and you alone. And then
if you find a partner who helpsbalance those and supports that and you support
them while you're achieving those goals.That's fantastic. Like your life is not

(54:44):
a dress rehearsal for being in arelationship when you're single, like your your
life shouldn't be about practicing about tryingto be in a relationship. It should
be your life whether or not you'rein a relationship. And that applies to
stupid holidays like valent Fine State too. Wow, that hit me in the

(55:04):
fields right there. Well, goddamn, Okay, Adam, that's after your
stupid ass football rant and you stillhave something of value. I guess I
can't understand you. So you likefootball? Can we get back to that
first? What the fuck is like? Why? Like? I don't understand.
Let's move on to Valentine's Day stuff. Hold, you used to grow

(55:25):
up. We grew up cheering forthe same team, the team that has
new players that will move around towherever whoever pays them the most, and
owners that don't care. I likecollege, don't Okay? I like that.
I like the the college football sceneand the spirit behind those games.
And how do you feel about thecollege football rapie scene? Okay, I'm

(55:49):
never gonna win with you in aprofessional sex scene. We're moving on.
Let's let's talk about single uh thingsthat single people can do on Valentine's Day
besides sit alone at home or goto the strip club or I don't know.
I'm actually considering it now that youbrought it up, But now that
I've been to a strip club,I can say, oh, it's not

(56:10):
that bad, so maybe right,But you're right. Yeah, I was
actually thinking, though, why whycan't you? Like so the best Valentine's
Day I had was when I wassingle and my friend and I we went
out drinking and it was so muchfun. You could totally do that,
But you could also grab another singlefriend and take advantage of like couples specials

(56:30):
going on. They don't have toknow that you're not a couple. So
half off of like a couple's massage. Hell yeah, just bring your friend
and you can get a couple's massagefor maybe cheaper because they have some discounts
and stuff. I would take advantageof some of that if possible, but
you're gonna have to need to bookit, you know, probably now.
But I think that's a cool thingto do if you plan ahead. Yeah,

(56:52):
And I think like a girl's nightis fun to do, just to
go out and just have fun withyour friends, Like it doesn't have to
be a big deal. And there'sI like on parks and rec that would
let yeah, Gala Time's day withLeslie. Not it does like that,
And that's it really shouldn't be anythingthat people should put so much stock into,
and I know a lot of peopledo because of movies and commercials and

(57:15):
like entertainment industry kind of cram itdown your throat and I think that that's
unfortunate. But you know, youcan step outside of that and see that
it's just it's just like emotional manipulation, Like it's not. It's essentially the
uh, the whole industry is justis right now gaslighting you, trying to
make you feel like you're crazy andyou should be sad because you don't have

(57:37):
somebody to you know, to goto an expense over the expensive dinner and
have bad chocolate with you know,and the roses are not aren't the cult
flower and then will have to Imean I feel like, you know,
if yeah, if you if youfeel like you're being obligated to sucktck,
then you shouldn't do it anyways.Well, true but like you're like,
oh, well he paid for thisfancy Okay, I guess that's just my

(57:58):
past of like, oh, therelationship, but he just paid for dinner,
so I guess I'm gonna suck hisdick. That's just been my past
Valentine's Days to be completely out right. But plus, we all know that
that Valentine's Day is actually just that'swhen you do anal or should just be
regularly. Yeah, they should justcall it anal times day, anal times
day. Okay, Well, I'mnot gonna do it, partake in any

(58:21):
of that, but I will movingon from that too. Let's just keep
moving on here. I will saythough, I think a lot of people
when they are single on Valentine's Day. And I used to be one of
these people where I felt like afailure because I was single, and it
is because of just social manipulation andhow you're supposed to be on Valentine's Day.

(58:42):
And that's where all the comparisons ofoh, well everybody in my high
school's now engaged and has kids andI'm not, and what's my problem?
And you have to push past thatand you have to go, well,
yeah, it could be there's alot worse things than being alone, and
I could be in an abusive relationship. And I say that all the time,
but it's so true though. EveryValentine's Day where I've been in a
relationship has been ten times worse thanif I was just enjoying it alone and

(59:06):
single. And every time it's thethere's everybody has this bit, but some
people get it worse than others.This fomo, you know, the fear
of missing out, and you haveto understand that for the most part,
unless you're maybe Sarah or I oryou know, there's a there's a group
of people who are very honest onlineand social media and everything like that.
Social media generally is what people useto portray one hundred percent the best things

(59:30):
that are happening to them, Sothey're posting the happy moments. They don't
talk about the moments that are hard, the moments that are that are negative,
the you know, the abuse,et cetera. That's why a lot
of times you'll find you'll have friendson Facebook where they look like they have
the happiest relationship and then all ofa sudden they'll be, you know,
divorced or broken up, and you'llhear about Oh well, yeah, he

(59:50):
was emotionally abusive. He yelled atme, you know, he cheated on
me. But they weren't talking aboutthat. They were posting all the fancy
photos out you know, and thehappy photos and the you know, all
that because the person posting it wastrying well, right, was was trying
to basically kind of make that cometrue. So the same goes for like
Valentine's Day, Like if you're outof valance, like if you're you're what

(01:00:13):
you're seeing people post on Instagram orwhatever snapchat about going out for their Valentine's
Day dinner, just understand that alot of them aren't aren't one hundred percent
happy. They might be working throughsome own things too, So it doesn't
mean that everybody's just having this rosy, amazing time and you're the one person
getting you know, getting fucked inthe ass. Well I guess like figured
it out. Yeah, but yeah, but you know that's not good.

(01:00:36):
That's not the case. A lotof them are going to be miserable afterwards.
A lot of them there's gonna bea lot of fight like people generally
get in bad relationships. There's alot more and maybe this is wrong.
But there's a lot more bad relationshipsthere are good relationships. I feel.
I feel like a lot of peoplestick in, stick with bad relationships because
they're trying to make something work,or they think that it shows character to

(01:00:57):
to stick in a toxic relationship ratherthan cut tie when they should. And
I think sometimes the best thing youcan do is stay single, understand yourself,
understand what makes you happy, youunderstand what become a whole person,
and find another whole person to bewith, and then you can both say
fuck you to Valentine's Day together whenyou're when you're in a relationship, I
actually thought you're a good point.I thought you were going to end with

(01:01:20):
and then stick it in that holeor something, but you didn't go there.
So I'm actually really proud that youended it on a nicer note than
you thought. I was. No, no, he's going to have a
punchline, and here it goes beatinto it. So I'm actually kind of
I don't always that punch lines.No always, But and I also think

(01:01:40):
if you're looking for something to do, there's a lot of things, like,
for example, Valentine's Day here inOrlando, we have the nude night
art show, so like that's nota couple's thing, it's just a it's
an art show that's going to belike anybody can come to and there are
every city is going to have randomevents that have nothing to do with Valentine's
Day, because the world moves onregardless. There's going to be live there's

(01:02:00):
going to be you know, atheater, there's there, there'll be comedy,
there'll be whatever. In fact,a lot of Valentine's Days, as
I was looking through, I hadcomedy shows those nights as well, and
it wasn't like it was all couplescoming out. It was people just came
out to laugh. So you know, that's that's not a just find something
to do if you really need tobe distracted and if you you know,
if you really are worried about aThursday night, you know, then just

(01:02:22):
come home and make some dinner,work out, and go to bed.
Like, don't don't be a whinypersons, don't fucking whine. I'm actually
that's really think I'm actually thinking about, like getting dressed up and going to
a bar by myself and just beinga bad bitch and be like, oh
are you here with anyone no,just here by myself and then seeing if
I can get a couple free drinksthat will walk my ass home. You

(01:02:44):
could, but you also you alsohave a couple of female friends who are
a single too, right, true, we could all just go out.
It could just go out, butI could, yeah, you know,
and go out have a couple ofdrinks. Yeah. So I think that
that's that's the way to approach itis the way to approach it to,
you know, to don't feel sorryfor yourself because that doesn't help anything.

(01:03:05):
Anything that doesn't doesn't help anybody.And you know, if you you know,
what you do is you just enjoyyourself, do whatever you need to
do, and the next day goto Walgreens chocolate's fifty percent off, and
then that's my that's my that's myfavorite day is the day after Halloween,
the day after Valentine's Day when Ican buy chocolate for cheap and if you
really want it, like if you'refeeling better about an X or whatever.

(01:03:27):
Someone just posted in the Facebook groupthat there's a zoo that will actually name
a cockroach after your ex for Valentine'sDay. So fucking way, that is
so fantastic. I got a lotof name for two dollars, you can
it's only two dollars you can nameup one of their cockroaches after after an
X. Yeah, so there yougo. If you're really looking for something
you need to need to get thatbitterness out. But bitterness doesn't help,

(01:03:51):
and winding doesn't help, and feelingsad for yourself and sorry for yourself never
helps, Like it really doesn't.And I know that it's it's easy to
get into that mindset, but maybethe best thing to do is to look
at what the positives you have andtry to focus on those instead. No,
that's definitely the better thing to doinstead of being whiny and sad and
feeling alone. All of those thingsare a lot better options. And if

(01:04:12):
those all fail, then you justgo to a strip club and get drunk.
Is that the the story? Likethat's that's like the last story.
That's what you do? You pullit or you or you can pull a
Sarah and and you know, justtake two fingers. I hate you,

(01:04:32):
I really can hate you. Ireally can't edit out because you've mentioned two
fingers like fifty fucking times already,So I guess why do you think that
is Sarah, I did that explicitlyso that you wouldn't be able to edit
out your comment. So just acomment. So it is what it is.

(01:04:54):
It's just the comment. But we'removing on from that and can we
close this? They got that.I think I think it's time to wrap
it up. I think I thinkthe good time to do that. This
This episode will be coming out nextweek, so you'll have a little bit
of time before all. Then Ithink a week a little bit ahead,
see the deals, see what youwant to do, and now you have

(01:05:15):
some idea. Yeah, fun,find something fun if you know, if
you are you know, if you'rein our group and you want to see
if there's other single people in yourin our group that want to get together
and do something in your area,you can always do that. So that's
in the Facebook or Facebook dot com, slash group, slash DKs podcast.
Yeah, you know, if youhave a friend with benefit, call them
out, you know, say hey, let's just let's just order pizza.

(01:05:38):
Let's order pizza and fuck you know, like why not, like just no,
this's just me fun, let's justdo this. And of course Ebruary
thirteenth, once again, if youare in the Orlando area, come out
to be nice Orlando and find methere. I'll be called It's not too
late to find your date and nottoo late to get a date. And
I'll be reviewing and editing profiles inperson, and we'll be doing more profiles

(01:06:00):
here online too. On air andon online. You can submit your dating
profile for us to review and editat Dating kind of sucks dot com.
Slash your profile and we'll be doingmore of those as the next couple episodes
progress. Positive right, exactly,trying constructively critical about that, And I

(01:06:21):
wouldn't say positive constructively critical maybe sometimesmay be always feel a little bad.
But you know, we're trying tohelp, all right, just trying to
help you get your dick with whatwe're trying giver. We're really givers over
here, Yeah, because I'm notreceiving ship, so I'm just giving out
all this great information and stuff andanyways, exactly, I digress. I

(01:06:46):
just want to be done with thisconversation, right, I know, five
more times I digest? All right? Well, find us online a Dating
kind of sucks dot com. Ifyou're listening on iTunes, please rate and
review of the episode. Listening onStitcher, please rate and re view us
anywhere else, tell your friends joinour group, find us on Instagram,
Dating kind of Sucks podcast as well, and we'll be here every week with

(01:07:10):
brand new episodes. So thank youfor listening. Yeah time, whether you're
married or single, or probably you'rea borranging on which man's back at your
place, listen to us and beginningto buck a tender grin muffle of plenty
of young's trying and trying and happento bluck because we all know dating kind

(01:07:34):
of sucks. Sarah and Adam ArduobaKai. He says stupid shit and she
doesn't mind. They're not doing withthis so to make any fuck life.
But the chicken woos Fannesday pluck?Why does it work? We'll hear with
the cruck they both know dating kindof sucks. Day kind of socks

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}From the DKS Vault - Surviving Valentine's Day