How to be Happy for the Holidays

Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm adamEtha Viteple. This is the DKs Podcast,
a podcast about love, sex,culture and society. This week we'll
talk about how to be happy duringthe holidays. Enjoy the show whether you're
married or worrying and on Wismanner's backof your place listen to us and be

(00:24):
getting buck a tenderb and mumble ofplenty of young trying and trying and having
to blund because we all know datingkind of sucks. Thank you for joining
us for another episode of the DKsPodcast. We've got a great show lined
up for you today. As always, we'll be starting off updating each other
and all of you what's going onin our personal lives, and then we'll

(00:44):
have an email from a listener whohas some boyfriend issues. After that,
Sarah will talk to us about whatto see in Santa Fe and then it's
time for the main topic, wherewe will discuss the best ways to stay
happy for the holidays, whether you'realone or partnered. If you have any
questions, topic ideas, or suggestions, we'd love to hear them, so
please feel free to call four ohseven five one nine zero one eight one

(01:07):
and leave a voicemail or email usat Dating kind of Sucks Podcast at gmail
dot com. Now, last timewe recorded, Sarah was getting witchy with
her Halloween decorations. So how wasyour Halloween? Did you have any tricker
treaders? Well, I know ourlisteners can't see, but all my Halloween
decorations are being put away as wespeak because it's over and I'm switching to

(01:29):
Christmas. But Halloween because I wasgetting back from New Mexico on that day,
it was a rush to get hometo then pass out candy for trick
or treaters, and then I wasdisappointed because we only had about six tricker
treaters come through. And Roy anticipatedthat and I did not. So I

(01:49):
bought two giant bags of candy andwe are not through them at all.
That we just have a huge ballpull of chocolate, which which always sounds
that's always the best to me.I feel like that's the best alternative is
to have enoughing. That's why Ialways bought when I had the house,
always bought Halloween candy that I liked, because I was like, if I
get if I you know, endup with a bunch leftover. I want
the stuff that I want to eat, not of a bunch of the shitty

(02:12):
stuff that nobody ever wants. Yeahno, and we're eating the good stuff
and picking through. You know,they always throw in some shitty candies you
don't really like in that mix orwhatever. But what are your shitty candies?
Eminem's what compared to the are youtalking about compared to twigs, KitKat
or like there's a Reces and theReces pumpkins. There's better chocolates than Eminem's.

(02:36):
I'm them flabber guests. I knowyou're gonna say, like whoppers or
like those. I don't. Ido not like whoppers either, But I'm
saying we have all of this othergreat chocolate based candy and then and then
Eminem's interesting. Not that I thinkEminem's are shitty. I'm just saying I
prefer a Twix or a Receis overEminems. So really, okay, you

(03:00):
would pick Eminems over the other sto. You can't see, but behind me
and the kid in my new kitchenis a giant jar of peanut Eminem's that
I got at. That's different.These are just the I would prefer peanut
Eminems over just the regular chocolate one. So yeah, I think it's just
the lower tier eminem. If itwas like a crisp one or something else,
I would I would eat those.But it makes sense, makes sense

(03:22):
anyways. But yeah, Halloween wasgood. Yeah, there was a haunted
house a block away from us,so all of the kids congregated there.
There must have been a hundred orso kids and families, and they had
shut down the street and they blockaway. Yeah, they just needed across
the street on our block. Itwas a two minute walk and they just

(03:44):
they stayed on that side of theneighborhood and never came over. But it's
okay, I know. Now,Well, if you're still there next year,
what you gotta do is you justhave to put up a giant neon
sign that says we have candy,you know, and just points at your
house. Yeah. There were probablytwo or three other houses close by that
probably didn't get trigger creators either,and they were also pretty well decorated.
And it pissed me off because ourhouse was very well decorated on the outside

(04:08):
and the inside, and they wereall the kids were hitting up the houses
that didn't have any fucking decorations,and I'm like, oh, yeah,
we actually put an effort, Butokay, fine. I remember when I
was a kid, the way myneighborhood was situated was six streets like side
streets, and then two like mainstreets, like a ladder basically, And
so if you did it properly westarted, you would be able to go

(04:30):
back and forth and back and forth, you know, all the way up
to the top and then all theway back down. But there was one
little section of like street that justkind of like went off on its own.
And I know that a lot ofkids never went that way because as
you did everything, you recovered it. But we always went there because they
always had extra candy because no likenobody ever went over to those houses.
So you had to get to besmart about it. And then I think
I realized I was too old todo this when I was like fourteen and

(04:54):
switching masks and going back for asecond round. I think we had double
masks, you know, so wewould go through to it and then put
a a new mask and do itall over again. I think it's fine
to go trigger treating in your earlyteens. How old is who old?
Do you think eighteen is too old? Eighteen one hundred percent eighteen is too
old. But I remember trigger treatingat sixteen. But I was also one

(05:14):
of those kids that I'm not I'mnot drinking, I'm not going to Halloween
parties. That was I'm still akid, so true, and I'm trying
to hold on to that youth,So no one had an issue with I
was worried when I was, youknow, fifteen sixteen doing it, and
I knew that was probably my lastyear doing it, so yeah, yeah,
I mean I started to grow abeard when I was fifteen sixteen,
so the you've seen pictures of me, like even at seventeen where I look

(05:36):
forty Yeah, so true, Istill look like a baby, didn't.
You also have another another holiday goingthat recently happened right Royal birthday, Roy's
birthday, but we didn't really celebrateit because he was so tired from work.
We I it was unfortunate. Actuallywe've kind of gone through this.
His work has been really stressful thepast month and it's I'm like, I

(06:00):
hate your fucking job so much becausewhen he finishes work, he just wants
to veg out for an hour orso, and then it turns into the
well, what's for dinner. Soon his birthday, he was so exhausted
and I had reservations and then hekind of looked at me and said,
can we just order something and bringit, you know, do something take
out. I'm just too exhausted.So we ended up doing that, which

(06:21):
was fine, but just getting outof the house and breaking up routine.
And I wanted to do something morecelebratory for his birthday. And I get
it, it's his birthday, it'swhat he wants to do, but I,
you know, wanted to do somethinga little bit more to celebrate and
he just wasn't into it. Justthat kind of sucked. Oh yeah,
it's always a little unfortunate, yeah, because you know, you feel bad,

(06:43):
but you're also like you kind ofbe excited to go do go out
and do something kind of fun withit with him too. Yeah, it
would have been nice to eat ata nice restaurant, not that we didn't
get takeout from a nice restaurant andit was good, but we eat in
front of the couch every every night. So yeah, but yeah, I
don't know, between the two ofus, we've kind of been in like
this weird with the weather changing,with his job being stressful with me being

(07:09):
gone more soon to be gone morebecause of travels. I'm like, I
want to spend as much time withhim as possible, but I just feel
like he doesn't have the energy andI have the energy after work. So
we've been in this feeling weird roommatevibe of I know we're not roommates obviously,
but he's in his office all day. We barely communicate, and so

(07:30):
we actually had to talk about it. Not that it's like a huge problem,
but we did have a discussion becauseI've been feeling really isolated in the
house because we don't share a bedroom. You know, we we'll sleep in
the same bed two to three nightsout of the week for like weekend stuff,
but we typically don't share a bedroomduring week nights, and then he
we don't have lunch together. Wedon't, you know. I stay on

(07:51):
my side of the house, hestays on his side. So I told
him I was just feeling like Igot emotional. It was like, I
just feel very distant from you,even though we're in the same house all
fucking day. So we're working ontrying to have more like work lunches together
and trying to figure out this weirdlimbo of his job situation because everyone on

(08:13):
his team is either leaving or hassome kind of injury where they're out for
short term visib things like that,where his team is very crunched. And
then you have the holidays coming up, and I'm like, well, I'm
only gonna have so many more weeksbefore I go on my next trip where
I'm gone for a month, SoI kind of want to maximize that before
you can. You can herm itup and work and do all of that,
but I want, I want youto have some kind of energy after

(08:35):
work and so we can have ourtime together. Yeah that makes sense.
And I mean I think it's likeI said, it's not a big deal,
but it's good to talk about itbefore it becomes a big deal.
Yeah, that's important, is toyou know, communicate it and discuss it,
and you know, so you canbefore it's something where you're resentful about
it. You don't want that tohappen. Yeah, Because I mean,
when I'm ready to fuck, he'stoo tired, you know what I mean,

(08:58):
He's too tired. So then wewent such a long time without having
sex too, probably the longest inour relationship of a month without having sex
because just different schedules, different energylevels, not on the same page than
not communicating how we were feeling aboutyou know, being like, oh it's
fine that we do dinner separate tonight, Oh it's fine, and just all

(09:20):
that extra time aparty just feels like, well, what are we doing?
Like do we want to be ina relationship? Like, I mean I
legitimately asked that question, and Ihaven't had this conversation with you separately,
but yeah, ask I asked,and I was like, do you want
to be in a relationship? Imean, what's the vibe right now?
Because I don't feel good about usbecause we're just passing by one another,
not saying anything, no affection duringthe day. And it'd be different if

(09:43):
we were going into the office andwe'd say hey, good morning, cook
dinner or cook breakfast, and thenlike say goodbye on our way to work
or whatever. But we're not evenhaving any morning conversations before the work day
starts because you just log on andyou're locked in your room for eight and
a half hours. So it's beentough, but we're working on it,
and this is I think this isjust a season of hard because of his

(10:05):
job, and I'm not used tothat. And also, I'm going to
guess, because I've never met anybodywho's capable of setting work boundaries like you
are, that he is not goodat setting work boundaries either. Where he
works, you know, a lotmore hours, puts a lot more work
into things, whereas I know youare the type and you have been since
i've known you. That it's fivepm, You're like, I'm done,

(10:26):
We're done, phones off, I'mnot looking at another notification, you know.
And I've always admired that that's alwaysbeen something I've never been able to
do either, and and I could. I think most people aren't able to
do that, and so I wouldguess that's probably also an issue with work,
is that he's he's not able toset them out and he's like,
oh, you know, I needto go have a lunch break, like
I need a lunch break, orI need to take this forty five minutes

(10:48):
and go out and do something justfor your own mental health. It's easier
to think to yourself, well,if I just sit here and get it
all done, you know, soI can absolutly. Or he's napping on
his work break because he's so fuckingtired, I mean, and it honestly
sucks, and I feel for him, but by the same time, I'm
like, but we need we needsomething, you know. And unfortunately with

(11:09):
Halloween, I wish it was moreeventful of the two of us spending time
walking around the neighborhood, going tothe haunted house, all of those things.
But his job again, I fuckinghate his job right now, especially
at the end of each month,because he has to work late because it's
their sales close of the end ofthe month, so he'll sometimes work till
eight thirty nine o'clock at night,and that happened. It sucks when it

(11:30):
happens in December because of New Year'sand then it sucks because of Halloween.
Yeah, it's given. Yeah,or just like even if it's a Friday
or sometimes if it falls on aSaturday, he has to work extra.
It's just it fucking infuriates me.And there's really nothing he can do about
it with a light team. Butso we couldn't do anything for Halloween.
And I'm like, another instance wherewe're not doing things together. So he's

(11:54):
aware of it, we're we're workingon it. But it's just been kind
of rough. Yeah, what Iwant to ask, what was his reaction
on you genuinely said, do youwant to be in a relationship? He
was shocked that I would say that, But that's honestly, that's been how
I'm feeling. Just I was feelingbecause I just felt so isolated and we

(12:16):
weren't spending time together, and I'mlike, I don't think it's because he
doesn't care about me anymore, buthe just feels really distant and what's going
on with that? And so wehad a conversation earlier in October about it,
and it was somewhat work related,but you know, it was like
it was one of those we'll workon it whatever. And then all hell
broke loose in the middle of thefucking month with his job, and it

(12:37):
it like didn't it got worse,And then I was like, Okay,
well we're not working on it,and I express my concerns, so what
are we doing here? You know? And I'm not I'm not the one.
I immediately resorted back to what wouldsingle Sarah do? Not? What
would Jesus do? What would singleSarah? Would she tolerate this shit?

(12:58):
Would she think this is okay,And immediately was like, no, fuck,
no, we need to be doingthese things, or we're not going
to say we need to fix theseproblems, or what the fuck is the
point? You know? Yeah?So, And I hate to be harsh
like that because obviously I still feellike there's a lot to learn and grow
in our relationship and I still wantto be with him, but being in

(13:18):
the trenches for a certain amount oftime, and I know friends who are
have been in the trenches for longerthan that, but I fucking can't,
right right, Yeah, I meanthat makes sense, And I think that
you and what's singles there too,is also now grown into someone who's learned
how to communicate probably a little better, and oh yeah, also maybe see

(13:39):
other people's perspectives a little more too, which I think has been good.
Well, I mean I he saidsomething that like immediately pissed me off before
we had our conversation, and itjust felt like we weren't on the same
team, and I was like,what the fuck is the This is never
an issue, so why are wedoing like a his and hers or a
you versus me type of thing?So that's I walked away for thirty minutes

(14:01):
bluff steam and then came back inand was like, Okay, let's have
this fucking conversation. And yeah,he was surprised that I was bringing up
but I was like, look this, all of these things have happened in
the span of a couple of weeks. Can you understand where I'm coming from?
And I was like, yes,I get it. I'm sorry.
You know, I'm sorry that thisis and then explained the situation and now
we're working on it. But goddamn it. You know it wouldn't be

(14:24):
easier to just blow up, butthat's not productive, right right, Wow,
all right, and you've got trives. So you just got back from
Santa Fe just a couple days ago, and then you are actually now you're
leaving very soon next week, rightfor Yeah, next Friday, I'm leaving
for South Africa, which is goingto be a fantastic I'm very excited for
you. Yeah, I'm gone fora month. So and that's the other

(14:46):
reason why my Halloween decorations are goneand Christmas is out, because I realize
after I booked the trip, damn, I'm not going to be here for
a lot of the Christmas festivities thatI want to enjoy in Seattle, so
I better decorate now to get twoweeks of it, and then when I
come home, I'll have a weekand then it'll beat Christmas. So that's
true. Yeah, you come backand it'll be Christmas almost immediately. Mm

(15:09):
hmmm. Yeah. So and it'sa long fucking flight from Seattle to Cape
Town. So so what is theflight? What is it going Seattle to
like DC or something and then nowSeattle to London, London to Cape Town.
So thankfully I only have to taketwo flights, but they're both ten
eleven hour flights. Oh my god. Yeah, and then I have a

(15:30):
dec I have an overnight layover onmy way back in London and then on
the way to way to Cape down, I have like a nine hour layover.
That's gonna be so great though.And is the weather there? It's
it's spring. It's spring spring,right, so yeah, because it's going
to be nice, beautiful weather forwhile you're there. Yeah, it's peaks.
This is peak season for South Africafrom like November through March. So

(15:54):
I'm getting there right at the beginning, which I'm really excited about. That
is exciting. You're gonna be doit a sofari, right, Yeah,
I'm going to do a safari atKruger National Park. We'll do a whole
what to see on that, becauseplanning that was a bear. I should
just make a guide like how tohow to budget for that because it is
a high ticket item, a oncein a lifetime type of thing. But

(16:15):
yeah, I'm excited. Wow,that's great. And I'm guessing Roy doesn't
really care about Thanksgiving, so it'snot really a big deal that you're gone
during Thanksgiving. Yeah, I meanI typically try to travel during Thanksgiving.
Anyways. I used to really likethat. Not that I don't like that
holiday, but I can maximize mypaid days off with you know, if
they give me Thursday Friday, Ionly have to take three vacation days.

(16:37):
So that's alway. His sister's nearby, like if he wants to do family
things for the holiday, right,yeah, I mean we're going to go
to Portland for Christmas, but Ithink he's just going to stay here for
Thanksgiving. Yeah, I don't knowhermit out probably Yeah, yeah, fair
enough, I understand that I've donethat myself. Yeah, what's exciting.

(17:00):
Next time we do an actual episode, it's gonna be. I mean,
we're gonna try to do two beforeyou leave, so we have an extra
one in the in the bank basically, But then you're gonna have so much
to talk about when you get backtoo. I can only imagine. Yeah,
well, time zones between us recordingis going to be tough when I'm
there, because even just communicating withRoy when I'm there is going to be
hard because I'll be working but nineto five in like East Coast. I

(17:26):
don't know, I can't even explainit, but it's like twelve hours ahead
or something stupid. So so areyou gonna be working all night? At
work? I'll be working from threeto eleven in South Africa, which matches
eight to four pm East Coast time, which is six am, yeah,
six am to no no, no, that's five am to two pm Pacific

(17:48):
time. So I have to meetRoy somewhere in there between five, yeah,
or it'll probably be midnight in Seattleand it'll be early in my day
and we'll probably connect then. Onthe plus side, he's a night owl,
so like even his late night stuff, you'll be able to talk.
But yeah, if we manage torecord at all, I'll be surprised.

(18:11):
But we will. Yeah. Yeah, all right, Well, look at
that, that sounds like I'm jealousof your trip. I'm not jealous of
the flight in any way whatsoever,but I'm I'm I am very jealous of
your trip. The flight's gonna suckass, Yeah, I'm not. It's
not like I'm flying business class.I don't have business class money or airline
points, so I'm economy all thefucking way, although I imagine the points

(18:33):
you're gonna get from this one shouldbe pretty decent from this, Like,
yeah, you should go a longway towards another international flight, but probably
still not business I'm not balling likethat. But anyways, speaking of traveling,
you just traveled to your new homelocation. I did. I did.
Yeah, So I am now officiallyin my apartment untilso I've been here

(18:56):
like nine days, ten days,something like that, and yeah, it's
I'm slowly getting settled. It's beenexhausting. It was exhausting leaving Florida and
driving to Tulsa because I was driving, you know, three to five hours
a day, and then stopping ina hotel and trying to get work out
and trying to crank out a fulleight hour worth of eight eight hours worth

(19:18):
of work because I didn't want totake off any time. I wanted to
be able to actually work and getpaid while I'm well traveling. So I
was doing all that. So thatwas exhausting, just the driving and working
and driving and working and driving working. And then when I got here,
that was great. I'd managed totime it that I didn't have an air
mattress arrive the day that I gothere, and they let me move in

(19:38):
a day early, which I thoughtwas really cool that I got here in
the afternoon and my at least didn'tofficially start till the next day. But
she just gave me the keys andwas you know, no problem. Did
she charge you like another pro ratedrent? Nope, just go ahead.
Yeah, She's like yeah whatever,Like she's like, what am I going
to make you stay somewhere for anat night? Like the apartment's ready for
you. Why not, You've alreadygot power there, et cetera. So

(20:00):
that's nice. Yeah, I was. I was. I don't know if
that's the Midwestern thing that they werenice about or just she was really nice.
I think you lucked out because alot of places are not that.
I agree. I agree, liketoo fucking bad. You're moving days tomorrow.
Yeah, I know, I know. So I moved in, uh
and yeah, had had an airmattress asleep, and you know, I
realized how little I had when Iwas able to unload my car basically,

(20:26):
and it just I was like,oh, it's all in here. I
have everything, you know, butbut I didn't have any of the things.
Yeah, everything you know, andmy other stuff coming from a store
doing to Florida was being delivered later. But I was like, I really
don't have that much, and I'mglad that the air mattress because otherwise I
literally would have been sleeping in thetub, like I have a big garden
tub. I was like, Iwas prepared, I had a pillow.
I was going to take a pillowand just like sleep in the tub.

(20:48):
And I was like, I guessI could sleep in that, you know,
with the Luckily the air mattress arrived. So that's that was a point.
Yeah, really rough in it onething, and speaking of roughing it,
one thing. And I don't evenknow if I told you this.
One thing that I did learn myfirst night here is that I'm so used
to so for the last how manyyears, I've been living in Airbnb's,
uh, staying like you know,staying like the condo, staying in like
hotels, but like staying in placeswhere like everything's provided generally and so I'm

(21:12):
not used to having to prepare orprovide certain things like like a toilet paper,
so you didn't. I didn't haveany, and now I usually bring
it like I have. Like theremember way back when I was we were
visiting where Little Rock and I askedyou to pick up some like wet wipes
or whatever. Yes, I doremember that, Yeah, brought because he

(21:34):
brought them to me at the barin the hotel and it was like weird,
You're like, Hi, I gotyour wet wipes here, and then
we went up to the hotel roomfor an hour. Yeah it was yeah,
but I usually have those, butI didn't. I'd run out of
those and I was like, oh, I had a new but like a
box on order from Amazon, andI had literally not unloaded my entire car
yet because I was so tired.I just pulled in just my one suitcase

(21:56):
that I just so uh, letme just say, rip to a pair
of socks and stop it. That'sall. I had nothing. What would
you do. What would you do? All a sudden you were like,
what, okay, what time wasit? Though? It was like it
was like nine o'clock at night,and like I had gotten the air mattress
and I was like, I waslike, you know, gutten it was
exhausted. I had really I reallydidn't have anything. Yeah, there was

(22:21):
this part was so empty at thatpoint I had. I had nothing.
There was nothing in there in hereto do, you know. I I
didn't even have any towels, soI couldn't even like go take a shower
or whatever. I mean, thatwas my next thought was there, So
my towels were still in the car, and so I would have to try
to get out to the car,which was not any you know, it
was not something that I could havecould have done obviously. Yeah, so
literally I had to had to hadto use a pair of socks. At

(22:41):
what point were you like, oh, great, I don't have toilet paper
like midship Basically, as soon asI sat down, I was like I
was like, oh, this isgonna be bad. I don't know what
I'm gonna do. So, yeah, that was lovely. Let me just
tell you that that's just a lovelyexperience. The next day, I worked
my ass off. I got mybidet installed on my toilet, which is

(23:03):
very nice, and made sure thatI had got toilet paper and everything too.
So I actually in the apartment complex, they have a like a guest
bathroom, like in the hallway orwhatever, and I went in there and
in the morning, and I justunrolled a whole bunch off of the of
the roll and brought it in soI had at least something just in case.
That was my recommendation. But it'snot like you were midshit when you

(23:27):
realize you find h I didn't realizeuntil I was too hot. Like it
was just I was so used tojust always having something, and then I
was just like, oh no,this isn't a hotel, this isn't like
and the other like my brain hasjust been so used to living in places
where I have these things already thatI have had to move into somewhere like
brand new in I mean it's beenyears. I mean I moved into my

(23:48):
house in two thousand and ten,Like that was how long ago? This
is so long ago. The otherthing that I keep doing and and actually
right now as I don't lock mydoor still. Well, it's like it's
unlocked right now because I just walkout lock your fucking door. It's an
apartment where that just swings shut afterme. And I'm so used to hotels
that you just shut and they're automatically, you know, the automically locked that.

(24:11):
For the first couple of days,I just left and went off and
did things and then came back andlike and uh and oh, yeah,
my door's open. You know,my door's unlocked. The joys of being
a woman. Well, yes,yes, you wouldn't lock your hotel room
door. No, I mean it'salready locks, it locks automatically when you
shut it. No, you addthe other fucking latch on top of that.
You don't know safety safety. Yeah, no, I've never done any

(24:37):
of that. So and so yeah, I just I'm just not used to
actually having to lock a door either. So it's gotten. It's I've had
to get used to that. That'sbeen Uh, that's been interesting, trying
to trying to remember to do thatchild straight up child, I know.
Really, So yeah, so nowI'm you know, it's this last ten
days has been absolutely exhausting, andI feel like I haven't been this tired

(24:59):
since when I left Florida that forthe first time I had to pack everything
and do all that, and thenyou know, like just because trying to
load everything and then meet up withthe movie people who that was a whole
fucked up thing. They took forever. That took me in a whole extra
data. But then I brought everythinghere and I filled up my entire living
room with boxes and then having tocart these boxes out to the trash after
I threw away stuff, like Iwas insane by the way, when I

(25:22):
was in Florida and I was Ithink I was slowly going insane when I
was trying to pack and sell everythingthat I owned in forty days, you
know, basically because I packed thingsin and then I put my storage in
it that I don't even know why, Like things I'm like like, like,
you know, like a shirt orwhatever that I'm like, I haven't
worn that, I've never worn thisshirt? Why would I pack it?
Why wouldn't I just throw it away? Like? Why am I like?
Things like that? And then pictureframes, empty picture frames that I put

(25:45):
in my storage in it, andthings that I'm just like why and not
like nice picture frame, not likesome high quality like, you know,
giant picture frame that would have costa you know, a couple hundred dollars
or something like a I got twodollars fucking target picture frame that I just
decided, Oh, this needs togo in my storage instead of a trash
can. And so now I've hadto go through stuff that three years ago

(26:06):
Adam did a shitty job sorting andorganizing, and I have to organize it
now. And I'm mad at pastme for doing that. Shit. Can
you blame past you though you werein a time crunch. I wasn't a
time grudge, I know, butat least now I do have the time
and I throw I threw away,I threw away picture frames. I threw
a hole and giant tumber where filledthe picture of frames. Some of them
still have the photos in them.I'm like, I don't like this person
anymore, so I just threw it. I just didn't even bother taking the

(26:29):
photo out and just tossed the entirething in there. I threw a whole
suitcase full of clothes in the dumpster. Jesus, Like, I looked at
all of my shirts, I pulledthem out if they had anything wrong with
them, like the slightest like stainor tear it. I was like,
I'm not gonna wear that sect likethis is it, and so I just
and I had a bunch of thosebecause I've been wearing the same nine shirts
for the last three years basically,you know, like just over and over
again, so of course they're gonnawear down. Yes, I want I'm

(26:52):
not as much of a minimalist asI really wanted to be. Like I'm
looking at all these books and everythingthat I decided to keep, but you
can still get rid of them andcontinue a journey minimal It is nice to
see some of my books again,though, I like it was like like,
oh I like my books, likeI've been I've missed you books because
some of these are like I lovereading and like, you know, being
able to have my books. Andsince I only have one chair right now,
I have nowhere to sit and read. I have this really uncomfortable office

(27:15):
chair that I'm sitting in right nowthat is terrible. But it was like
a fifty dollars Amazon, we'll getit there the same day chair, so
I ordered it before I read asI was arriving in town, so it
would be here the same day.I have an actual office chair coming tomorrow,
I think. But and then mybed is still an air mattress.
I haven't. I haven't fixed that, but it's on a frame at least,
so I feel a little more likean adult, but I still have

(27:36):
nowhere to sit. Like I havemy friend come over and help me help
me install or build my entertainment centeryesterday, and we had to sit on
the floor obviously for the whole thing. But then after she's like, oh,
you really have no furniture, Like, no, I have nothing,
But I have a recliner coming tomorrowtoo, which I'm excited about. It's
an old man recliner with a massageand heat and all that stuff. That's
gonna be nice. You're literally seventyyears old. I mean, it's gonna

(27:59):
be nice to sit my recliner.And then I can play video games on
my Giant TV that I bought.You know, so I've got an you
know, actual TV again for thefirst time in a long time. But
uh yeah, so getting organized hasbeen exhausting, But my goals will be
completely unpacked by by tomorrow. Actually, if you completely like everything's out of
a box and the boxes are putaway or thrown away. There's a lot
of boxes behind you. Yeah,just that that's stacking. That's going to

(28:22):
be all done tomorrow and then organized, like at least the books stacked where
I want them to go in bookshelves. And when I get bookshelves organized within
the next two weeks, and thenI want to be able to try to
be done by then, Like that'smy goals to be here in a month
and within the first month, makesure that everything is there, and then
I'll start putting stuff on the wallsand everything after that. Okay, so

(28:42):
we have a plan. That's goodto know. Yeah, but it's been.
It's been. It's been exhausting andotherwise it's been Tulsa has been.
I haven't really been able to exploreit because I've just been so busy.
Unbacking. I went out on Halloweenfor a couple hours to had had dinner
and had a couple of drinks andit was that was nice, but that
was that was really the extent ofit. I went to a restaurant called

(29:02):
Prime. It's like pr h ym E. Okay. I don't know
why they named it that, butI kept wanting to call it like Prime,
like like like like Stewie and FamilyGuy because like cool Whip, you
know, like he just like,yeah, someone the Prime steakhouse. You
know, it's prime, the foodis prime here. But uh, it
was good. It was it wasnice to have like an actual real meal.

(29:25):
And then the other big issue thatI've really learned recently is maybe this
is from because I'm living downtown,but the grocery stores are fucking awful.
Wait, what's your closest slash localgrocery store? So there is a well,
there's like a Target grocery and thenthere's like a Save a Lot And
okay, I don't consider either ofthose grocery stores. Where's your target targets

(29:48):
relatively go? But there's there's alsoone it's called like, oh it's because
of an R. It's like Razorsor Rogers. It's not a brand that
I've ever heard of, but that'sthe one that everyone considers. I asked
my friend who lived in Florida.I was like, what's the publics of
Tulsa? Yeah, that's what I'mlooking for. Yeah, so she said
this place Roser's or something that Ican't reach on anstercart. For some reason,
inst card doesn't have access to it. So I've been using whatever inst

(30:08):
card has access to and they haveratings of the different stores. So I
picked two different times. So I'vehad groceries order twice. Now they're out
of everything, like English muffins.I just wanted English muffins. Don't even
have any in stock. The guytoday, I was looking for mayonnaise,
ice cream, a couple other things. No mayonnaise, you don't have any.

(30:29):
Minai's Like, how do you nothave mayonnaise? Like it's just it's
the basic thing. Salt and pepper. No, no, sorry, no
salt and pepper. Yeah, likeit's like it was. It was insane.
And of course I also tried forFranklis muffins the second time. No
English muffins there either. I don'tknow if does. Maybe Tulsa doesn't believe
in English smuffins. That is apossibility that it's just just not a thing.
But I'm thinking that I'm gonna haveto just get my ass out to
like the suburbian grocery store. Thatwas what I was gonna say, stop

(30:52):
using instacart and just get your assin a car and go to a grocery
store and shop. Yeah, andsee I'm I'm gonna have to just do
that and just drive the little bitout of town and we go to a
good grocery store because I think theones that are in the downtown area aren't
necessarily always the best quality. Yeah, maybe the best. Yeah, that
was my Nashville downtown living problem wasI had to drive fifteen minutes to a

(31:14):
good grocery store because the downtown onesucked ass. Yeah, So I think
that that's definitely the issue here.So but you know, I'm trying to
get some normal groceries and starting tobe able to cook and eat here because
the the other good this is good. It's it's a bad thing, but
it's good as the door dash situationhere is terrible as far as like the
type of foods. I like,there's just roach, really not a lot,
and their quality is not great.Like you need to get off of

(31:37):
door dash. You've been used somuch when you've been Yeah, so I'm
like, that's actually a good thing. It's gonna it's driving me to actually
cook more. So that's that's that'sgood. So I'm here, I'm I'm
alive. I've survived. This iswhy the podcast, the episodes are delayed,
but now where I'm here and I'mgoing to be here so I'll be
able to Yeah, I know,like high speed internet is amazing, and

(32:01):
yeah, it's it's been good.It's really been kind of the one sad
thing that this is out of nowhere. But it's really made me miss my
mom because like my mom would belike the person i'd be calling about everything
and you know, just as likelittle things that have been going on,
you know, or whatever, andthe funny stories and stuff like that,
or just hey, can you believethis or whatever? And uh, and

(32:22):
you know, my dad's just notthe same, you know, you know,
call my dad and tell them theoh he I didn't have a toilet
paper. He's like, well,you know that's why you need to plan
ahead. And I'm like, that'sthat's my dad's you know, you just
have to have a solution for everything. I'm like, I didn't no shit,
but you know, like I understandthat, but I didn't, and
here are the results. And it'sfunny, you know, not for my

(32:42):
father. He just is it hasn'tbeen the same. So it's made me
miss her a lot to the lastespecially last week, I think just because
there's a lot of things. I'mlike, oh, yeah, I'm driving
over here. I'd love to,you know, catch up with her and
stuff like that. So that's beenit's been a little sad, but uh,
you know, that's just a partof the process, I think,
unfortunately. So yeah, So anythingelse I need to talk about, I

(33:02):
don't think. So I think I'mI'm talked out. Let's get a podcast
going, Yeah, get up,and now let's let's go ahead and take
a break, and when we comeback, we are going to have an
email from a listener. Well,like Adam mentioned, we have an email
from a listener, and we alwaysplug that you can call our hotline or

(33:23):
email us. So if you wantus to read your deepest, darkest questions
or want other people to hear youtalking about problems that you have, you
can feel free to call our hotlineat four oh seven five one nine zero
one eight one, or you canalways email us, like this listener Megan
did at Dating kind of Sucks podcastat gmail dot com. So, without

(33:46):
further Ado, let me just readthis email and then we will get into
how we feel about this. Soshe starts off, Hi, Sarah and
Adam, I need help with feelingneedy. I've been with my boyfriend for
a little over a year and theconnection is amazing. We have great sex
and the most fun together. Weonly see each other once a week and
an occasional long weekend or overnight date. We are polyamorous and he is married,

(34:10):
while I am a solo, polynonesting partner. This suits me very
well, as I have a closeknit group of single friends who I consider
my lifelong true soulmates that I getemotional support from in abundance. I also
work full time and attend school parttime, and have a big involved family.
My only complaint really is that duringthe week between our dates, he

(34:31):
doesn't communicate with me much. Healmost never initiates texting me to check in,
and though he usually responds quickly,if I am the one to reach
out first, it is with oneor two word responses and almost never a
follow up question to see how I'mdoing. I try and wait for him
to initiate reaching out, but Igrow impatient because I really do have him

(34:52):
on my mind. Often. Theway he acts when we are not together
it makes me feel not paid attentionto. In contrast, when he is
with me, person he is verypresent and affectionate and demonstrative. I recently
brought this up that I wish hereached out to me more and initiated contact
and checked in, and he saidhe would do so, but after a
few days of trying, we wereback to our old pattern. I'm aware

(35:15):
that this is a low stakes issue, but I am genuinely curious about your
advice in this situation. How doI get him to text me more,
or how do I get better aboutnot having much interaction with him between dates
and still feel secure. Wow,well, that's a that is an interesting
problem. I can definitely see whereyou might feel a little needy. What

(35:37):
I would say, Megan, isthat you know he has his relationship,
his his marriage, and you saythat you have an equally fulfilling relationship with
your group of single friends, andyou have an active family life. And
so my biggest question to you iswhat do you need from him? Like,

(35:58):
what is it that you're expecting fromhim in constant communication. Is it
just some type of validation that he'sthinking about you as much as you're thinking
about him, or are you concernedthat he's not interested in you except you
know that and those one time thosetimes when he shows up and he comes
in, and of course he's thereand he's present with you when he's there,

(36:21):
but he's not actually present otherwise.You know, it does seem a
little problematic to me, just alittle bit, because you know, part
of a poly relationship is it's arelationship, and that relationship doesn't end when
he's not in your bed. Thatrelationship, you know, is supposed to
be something that is done going.It's supposed to be a hey, you

(36:42):
know, this is like just talkabout your day, et cetera. Like
it's it's having an actual relationship.It's just you know, there's multiple partners.
So with that, to me,it almost feels like there's there's a
risk that you're just kind of,hey, this is the person that I
that I fucked once a week andI don't have to talk to her except
when I'm there, and you know, I put all my effort into it,

(37:02):
and and you know, and thenmy wife's cool with it because you
know, it kind of keeps meoccupied that one night a week. Like
and this sounds harsh, but that'skind of how how I'm I feel like,
maybe you're worried about it, andso I don't know anything about it
beyond this, but to me,you know, you've told him that it's
important to you and he has notresponded in the way that you want,

(37:25):
and so I think you have todecide how important it really is. Yeah,
And I think those are all reallygood points that you bring up.
And I don't think when when yousaid in your email this is a low
stakes issue, I was like,is it though? Yeah? Is it?
No? Because communication, we alwayssay, is so important, and

(37:45):
this is something that is important toyou and how he communicates with you,
So maybe it's not low stakes.I know you, you know, we
talked about you already having the conversationwith him, But I think it's worth
outside of all the things that Adammentioned, I think it's worth having another
conversation with him and asking him thesequestions. So outside of just him initiating

(38:07):
texting, is his communication style?Would he prefer to talk on the phone
or do FaceTime every once in awhile during the week. Is he opposed
to those things? Would he bemore comfortable doing that? Because just from
my perspective of dating Roy, he'snot a texter, he's not a face
time. He is very does notcommunicate with me well through other mediums,

(38:30):
but we're really good together face toface. So is it that, you
know? And then asking him whatdoes he need as far as communication?
Is he fine as is? Likeyou mentioned, he Caesar, you know,
on the weekend and then goes backto his wife and that's fine and
that's all he needs? Or doeshe prefer another method like not texting or

(38:52):
not snail mail? But you know, you know what I mean, what's
the other communication style that he prefers, Because clearly it can't just be this
right, it can't just be inperson and then nothing else that really doesn't
work. So I would I wouldjust ask him what communication he needs throughout
the week, and if he says, oh, nothing, I'm good.
I would be very cautious with thatanswer. And that might be worth evaluating

(39:16):
the relationship because you need to focuson what's important to you and if he's
not even trying to meet your needssomewhat halfway or put in the effort,
that's something to think about. Yeah, And I think it's an excellent question
too for you to ask him aboutthe maybe like to try to do a
FaceTime call occasionally or something like that, or phone call that's good because he

(39:37):
might be like, oh, yeah, that'd be great, and maybe he'll
call you on his way to work, you know, a couple times a
week or something like that, youknow, and and just to chat.
But I would definitely, you know, like I said, Sarah mixed excellent
points, and just be very verycareful about whether or not you are that
you're in the same relationship that he'sin. Yeah, that's basically that you

(39:57):
know that you guys are on thesame page, because right now it's not
like maybe you're not and you andif that ends up being okay, then
you know, you have to figureout how to be okay with it.
But I think that that's that's goingto be the kind of the struggle for
you. Yeah, but thank youso much Megan for emailing us and just
asking these questions. And I hopeit's valuable. I know it's valuable to
the listeners as well. So ifyou and like, actually, like we

(40:20):
said multiple times, we'd love tohear like what happens afterwards? Right,
Yes, we never never get tosee we never know, like we sometimes
someone will reply and say, oh, thank you for the advice, but
then we never hear like what happened, Are they still with a person or
you know, what's going on,et cetera. So you know, in
time, once you figure this out, please, you know, feel forvery
to update us because we'd like anupdate, and I'm sure listeners would love

(40:42):
an update as well. And uh, and of course if you do have
your own question you'd like to ask, and you can email us at Data
kind of Sucks Podcast at gmail dotcom, and you can also call us
at four oh seven five one ninezero one eight one and leave a voicemail.
And I would I would love foreverybody do that, anybody who has
any type of question, because youknow, this is a I feel like

(41:04):
this is a good way for usto kind of expand and talk about new
topics. H Yeah, and understandwhat people are struggling with right now too,
because we're both not dating, youknow, we're not really in the
scene where it's like, okay,these are common problems we're getting from a
lot of our listeners. Let's reallydive into this problem or you know,
whatever else people are concerned about.That's right, all right, We're gonna

(41:28):
ahead and take another quick break andwe come back. It's time for what
to see with Sarah G focused onSanta Fe, New Mexico. So we'll
be right back and now for thefavorite part of everybody's episode, Everybody it
is. I think it's a favoritepart everybody. Everybody loves to hear about
your travels and especially because you havesuch good tips, So everybody please enjoy

(41:49):
this segment What's see with Sarah Gwith Santa Fe. Yeah, So,
like I mentioned earlier, I recentlytook a trip to Santa Fe. But
this was a solo trip to anew United States state of New Mexico,
and I've heard from friends that NewMexico's highly underrated and I had to see
it for myself. So not onlydid I visit Santa Fe during my trip,

(42:12):
but I did a little exploring inAlbuquerque in Taos. But I decided
to make Santa Fe my home basefor the trip just because of its proximity
and then of course it is justa musty destination when in the state.
So for those who aren't familiar,the city of Santa Fe is about an
hour drive from Albuquerque. And ifyou're traveling to New Mexico in general,
it's pretty likely that your flight isgoing to be in and out of the

(42:36):
Albuquerque airport, just because it's thebigger city and more of the hubs.
So and I've mentioned this in thepast, but when I landed an airport,
I'm always like, fuck, whatdo I do. It's the most
stressful time of getting off figuring outhow I'm going to get to my destination.
So I like to have those thingsplanned as soon as I land.
So I decided to get a rentalcar because I was going to be doing

(42:57):
more exploring throughout New Mexico. Butthere are other options to get to Santa
Fe if you're only visiting Santa Fe. They have the rail Runner Express,
which you can take an uber tolike the main train station stop and then
take it to Santa Fe, whichcan be helpful depending on the time of
your flight, or you can doan uber driver it's just an hour drive.
So and I didn't uber while Iwas there, so prices could vary

(43:21):
or be expensive, So just keepthat in mind if you're really only flying
into Albuquerque and just want to seeSanta Fe. But yeah, once you're
there, let's talk about where tostay. Through extensive research, there are
a lot of really solid options inthe area, but I highly recommend staying
at the Inn of VANESSI for acouple of reasons, not only just because
I stayed there, but number one, it's two walking blocks from the historic

(43:43):
Plaza and the Railyard Arts district.So for Adam that means it's a ten
minute walk to either destination and probablya quick little uber drive, but you
want to walk around and explore thearea, and Santa Fe is very walkable,
like literally walkable for Adams. Soit's a ten minute walk to either
of these two main parts of townto visit, So simple just as far

(44:07):
as location. And I will saytoo because of the paid parking spots and
just some of the narrow roads andtraffic depending on time of you visit,
it's probably easier to walk than tofight with traffic, so that's great.
Number Two, the Inn of Vanessais a boutique hotel experience that feels pretty

(44:27):
quiet and remote because it's outside ofthe main hustle and bustle of downtown Santa
Fe. So I really felt likeonce I crossed the main street and was
there, I was like, oh, you know, I could there could
be sweeping mountains behind and I wouldn'tknow that I was right in the city.
It was really nice to be alittle bit off the beaten path but
still close to everything. And theyhave twenty one uniquely designed rooms that are

(44:49):
either deluxe rooms or suites. Sounlike other kind of cookie cutter hotel rooms
where you have your bad your deskor whatever, each room was really a
different vibe of New Mexico. AndI really like the fact that and I
stayed in a deluxe king I wasn'tin a suite, but the shower was
like a waterfall shower that had allof this like really beautiful tile around.

(45:10):
The bed had a really nice bedspreadthat was like New Mexican inspired, and
so I really did like those touchesthat felt like, oh, I'm in
a New Mexican home, which wasreally nice. And then number three were
the dining options. I don't knowabout you, Adam, but I love
a solid not a cardboard but asolid, complimentary breakfast. Oh yeah,

(45:32):
yeah, Like you know, Ilike going out and traveling other places for
breakfast every once in a while,but if the hotel has a good place
to eat for breakfast, I'm probablygonna stay there just because it's easier.
And this this was fantastic because eachmorning they had breakfast enchiladas with either red
sauce or green sauce. They hadbreakfast burritos, They had keishes, they

(45:54):
had vegetarian and like meat options forthose you know, Mexican style dishes.
But then they also had your standardlike toast, fruit, yogurt, coffee,
tea, and a bunch of otherthings to eat and drink, which
was a really nice variety. Andevery day was a little bit different.
So it was nice knowing that,oh, are they gonna have burritos or
enchiladas today, or ooh what otherthings will they have? Are you the

(46:15):
type of goes down like and actuallylike sits in the restaurant and eats the
free brook I do. I knowyou don't, but I do. And
I enjoyed my my morning coffee andsitting there with everybody else each morning and
just enjoying the buffet. Yeah,I'll go down and I'll load up my
pockets like you know, I'll bringlike I'll wear a car shorts that can
fit like you know, the chocolatemilk and two different pockets and then like

(46:36):
a thing of juice in the otherpocket, and then all my silver wearing
a pocket and then I'll be ableto carry two plates of food back upstairs,
you know, and and then yeah, that's that and then eat.
No, you don't want to dothat here, privacy of my whole,
privacy of my hotel room. No, like I mean they didn't have prepackaged
stuff. I mean you had aserver who was giving you, you know,
your juice choices. I would eatthere that night, yeah, yeah,

(47:00):
And it was nice because it wasincluded in my stay, which was
for all guests included. And thenon top of just like the breakfast side
of it, then you also geta complimentary welcome drink at the bar.
They have a bar and restaurant that'salso on the property. So I checked
out their dining option for dinner andlearn that not only do they have the

(47:22):
restaurant that's been attached to the hotel, but then they have the bar and
it's been a staple in Santa Fefor over forty years. I'd eaten at
a couple other places in Santa Feand didn't really find any live music or
entertainment, but this place had somereally great variety of entertainment on certain nights
of the week. They transformed thespace into a piano bar where guests can
request songs and have dinner, whichwas really fun. That was when I

(47:44):
was there, And they also hadrecently introduced Flamenco night where then they set
up a dance floor and some musiciansand the dancers, which is pretty cool,
which I wish I would have seenthat too, but just overall really
cool entertainment environment while also dining ata nice restaurant. The food was fantastic,
just like the breakfast was great,So yeah, I was. I
was impressed by that as well.So yeah, definitely for a hotel,

(48:06):
whether you're staying at the Inn ofVanesse or you want to find maybe you
have another hotel option, but youwant to find some cool live entertainment,
check out the Inn of Finesse.There's so much to do as far as
things to do and see. Ithink I only scratch the surface, but
I'm just gonna list out a bunchof things you could do. Can visit
the Georgia O'Keefe Museum, which isreally popular, or you can visit the

(48:29):
New Mexico Museum of Art. Youcan check out the numerous churches that are
across the city. The Larotto Chapelis pretty popular, and the San Miguel
Chapel, which is the oldest churchin the United States, is also pretty
popular. You can drive like aten to fifteen minute drive to the Miow
Wolf, which has a lot ofinteractive art installations. They have a couple
of locations, one in Santa Fetotally worth checking out. It is so

(48:53):
fun. You can spend hours there. And one thing is that if you
see random people that don't run upto them and say, are you to
buy it from arresta? I reallyOkay. The only reason I thought I
saw Tobias from Arrested Development is becausehe was in town a night before doing
a comedy special. So I thought, oh, I knew he was in

(49:14):
town. And then I saw thisguy you had a hat on and had
very similar facial features. But thenit was dark and I was almost convinced,
And then I stopped myself and I'mpretty happy, did you actually figure
out that it wasn't him? Itwasn't him? It was it wasn't him,
because I mean, that's a logicaljump that he would go to something
like on the next day or whatever. Yeah, I mean that would make

(49:35):
sense. Yeah, So but butI looked up who his wife was,
and then I saw the guy's wifeat Wolf and that was not the same
woman. So I couldn't tell younow, but I was. I was
like in it, sitting in oneof the things that if I'm going to
introduce myself, I better be fuckingright and you better know his name too.
Do you remember his name? NossDavid Cross, Yeah, of course,
So yeah, that's not something tocare about really when you're in Santa

(49:58):
Fan. That happened to it wasvery funny. It was just like text
me like, I think Tobias ishere at Mayowwolf, and I'm like,
who's Tobias? Like, I likeyou because you didn't be any context.
It was pretty funny though. Butbut I've heard that that's actually a pretty
cool place that like another across thecountry, different installations. Yes, that
sounds really neat the one in SantaFe. It's a mystery on why this

(50:21):
family disappeared. So I didn't realizethat I didn't know research going there because
I just heard from my friend who'sin art school that it's really cool when
I should check out. So Iwalked through the whole place and that took
about an hour. And really gotmy fill of pressing things and the music
and lights change or whatever. Andthen I noticed people in the main house
area. We're congregating and reading thingsand whatever and taking There were QR codes

(50:45):
to save clues or whatever, soI started doing that. But then I
realized if I really dug into this, I was gonna be there for three
or four more hours and it wouldhave taken forever to try to solve this
mystery. But if you have thetime, and even the people working there
were saying, you're not going tosolve it all in one visit, you'll
probably come back if you really wantto solve it. But it is really

(51:07):
cool and really fun, and Ikind of want to continue to visit Miau
Wolfs around the US because it wasa really cool experience. Other things you
can do. You can take astroll around the historic plaza. There is
so much shopping to do in SantaFe. Turquoise is really popular, silver
jewelry, just a lot of locallyhandmade crafts, So around that historic plaza,

(51:29):
go shopping, have fun with that. And then the like I mentioned
before, the Railyard Arts District,they have a local farmers market that was
going on When I was there onSaturday, it was decked out with It
was so fun that was there.That's where if you take the rail the
rail Runner to get into Santa Fe. They have the train station there and

(51:51):
you can take the sky Railway,which is like a two hour immersive train
ride experience. They have musicians anddrinks and just really beautifull landscape of New
Mexico that you can check out onthe train ride there, which I really
enjoyed. But yeah, like Isaid, that was just scratching the surface
of things to do. If Icould go back, they have like a
whole other street that you could spendhours on going to different art galleries.

(52:13):
There are so many bars and restaurantsthat are all amazing. But yeah,
if you are planning on visiting,I do have some tips because I messed
up. It is seven thousand feetabove sea level, and if you did
not know, I live at sealevel. So my first day and have
I was a little screwed up.And I've been to other places that have

(52:35):
like six thousand feet above sea level, like six thousand elevation whatever, and
I made the mistake of assuming thatit would be the same if you If
you want to go to Santa Feand then stop in Albuquerque and do things.
I went immediately from six thousand feetto thirteen thousand feet of elevation because
I did this tram ride. Idid San Dia Peak in Albuquerque, so

(52:57):
I went up from sea level tothat in the span of a couple hours,
and that messed me up. Andthen when I got back down to
seven thousand feet of elevation, Iwas dizzy. I probably wasn't drinking enough
water that I needed to. Ibrought a bottle of water and was constantly
filling it up, but I probablycould have had more. I brought sunscreen.
But if you're visiting because of elevation, because they get over three hundred
days of sun a year, likethe whole state of New Mexico, you're

(53:21):
closer to the sun, bring ahat, sunscreen, sunglasses, don't mess
around with the sun. Don't getsunburnt, be hydrated, bring lotion,
don't be stupid. I'm impressed.You do look just as pale as ever,
so you didn't get any sunburn.No, It was so it was
crazy because I was facetiming Roy andevery day he was like and I was
in similar lighting well maybe not ringlight lighting, but you know, similar

(53:45):
lighting. And he was like,you look like you're sunburnt. But I
think my face was just flushed fromthe elevation, because my face was red
from the time I got there tothe time I left and then I came
back. I was like, Ididn't. I thought I was sunburnt,
but I wasn't. I'm still paleas potter. So but still bring sunscreen.
Don't be dumb about it, becausethere were a lot of people who

(54:06):
were like, pretty badly sunburnt.And yeah it was October, but still
what oh yeah, yeah, wow, all right, well, thank you
very much of course. Yeah,and again, highly underrated state Santa Fe
in general and New Mexico. Soplease let me know if you plan on
visiting this area, because I wantto hear about your experience in New Mexico.

(54:28):
I loved it. It was agreat time. Oh great, Well,
we're gonna go take our final breakand then we come back. We're
gonna hit the topic of how tobe happy for the holidays. You're a
grinch, Yes I am, correctme if I'm wrong, Adam. But
every holiday season we do some kindof episode on what to do if you're

(54:50):
in a relationship for the holidays,how to handle being single during the holidays,
And now we're like, well,just in general, how to be
happy whether you're single, not single, you know, in a good life
situation not so great. The holidayscan be challenging no matter the circumstance.
I think, Yeah, I thinkthe holidays can you know, they for

(55:13):
people who are like parts of bigfamilies, they can be giant, you
know, stressful situations for you know, for people who are alone, they
can be you know, they feelvery alone. And then there's everybody in
the middle. And I think that, you know, so I think everybody
kind of goes through something during theholidays, even people who purport to love
all of the holidays probably are youknow, kind of at their breaking point

(55:34):
of everything that doesn't go perfectly.And so you know, maybe, yeah,
exactly, let's talk about maybe theways to kind of be you know,
be happy and at least at leastjust you know, be okay with
holidays and maybe not see it assomething to dread, because I think that's
that's never going to be healthy.Yeah. Well, there are also a
lot of other factors around dreading theholidays, because a lot of people,

(55:57):
at least if you're in the NorthernHemisphere, are dealing with winter and just
the time change that just happened overthe weekend and now it's dark more often
or sooner, and you're dealing withthat and how to handle that on top
of the holidays is not really agood combination. Well, yeah, because
I think the holiday is obviously comingin. That's why we say, I
mean, you say holidays, andit's it's obviously we're talking about like the

(56:21):
winter holidays, not you know,not fourth of July. It's not to
be happy during during the height ofsummer, you know, or whatever.
It's it's always when, yeah,when there's the chance of it being cold
if you're in the northern hemisho.But it's also the chance of it,
you know, with the nights beinglonger, and I think that makes a
big difference, especially you know,people who really enjoy the sun like you.
You're a great example of that,you know. That was your biggest

(56:44):
concern moving to Seattle, I thinkwas was how the weather was going to
affect you during the during the holidays, And it really does affect me.
I think the first year living here, I was totally fine, because the
excitement of being somewhere new but nowsetting in it is rainy, it is
darker. I mentally have to preparemyself for the upcomings, not just the

(57:06):
end of December timeframe, but justthroughout the winter to survive, and just
doing really simple things that I wouldhave never done before that I'm happy I'm
doing now of taking vitamin D acouple months, like every single morning,
I'm taking vitamin D because of thelack of sunshine and just to help with
seasonal effective disorder. I have ared light therapy panel, but also you

(57:30):
could get, you know, asunlamp or something like that to combat not
seeing a lot of sunlight. Thoseare two like really simple things I've implemented.
I already call you on my walksevery day, but just some kind
of movement and getting out of thehouse is helpful. And then recently,
I just put up all my Christmasdecorations because not only am I not going
to be able to celebrate all ofDecember here in Seattle, but I've read

(57:54):
apparently I read that the people whoput up their decorations earlier it helped with
some of that, the depression andall of that because you're getting the twink
lights, you're getting some of theexcitement of the holidays. Of just the
decorations that can offset that, orjust some more light in the house.
I guess I would help for peoplewho get excited about the holidays. Yeah,

(58:16):
yeah, you get excited. Ifyou don't get excited about the holidays,
then that won't really help getting theexcitement of the holidays. Maybe not.
Yeah, but some twinkle lights arenice. I think some people are
gritches. Like you said, yeahbefore we going beforeward to break like me,
yeah, you know, for me, it's just the holidays. I
mean when when I was married,I enjoyed the holiday because it was like

(58:37):
we made our own thing, wehad our own tradition, and so we
would do that and it was niceand I and then when I got divorced
and I would have some holidays likeusually Thanksgiving, where I would I would
host dinner for anybody who didn't haveanywhere to go. I enjoyed that.
It wasn't the holiday, it wasthe kind of being able to well,
being able to help other people whomight might be feeling all if it wasn't

(59:00):
for them, Like like this,I mean, this year is going to
be the first time that I'm youknow, the first holidays without my mother,
although last holiday with my mother shewasn't really like she wasn't there,
you know, like the last thingSeving Christmas are probably the worst things even
Christmas I could ever had because it'sbasically my dad and I just sitting by
her bedside for a month straight.So that was that was pretty awful.

(59:20):
But but beyond that, well,I don't even really consider those holidays.
Thanksgiving here, I'm like, Idon't know anybody to invite over for a
friends giving. I don't know adining room table. That's another big,
big thing. But so now Ican just ignore it. Now I can
just like it's just another day forme. It's just it's like, oh
great, it's just to day thatI won't be able to go to the
store or something because the stores areclosed, you know. And I think

(59:42):
that that that's for me because it'sjust like I don't see the point of
the holiday, you know, andit's just unless I have a reason to
celebrate it, and just it doesn'treally do anything for me. But the
weather is one of those things thatit's funny, doesn't doesn't like disturb me,
like I love you know, I'mhoping it gets cold. So it
was we had a couple days ofit being like in the thirties and it
was beautiful and like I was lovingit. And then now it's a gotten

(01:00:05):
up to the seventies again for acouple of days. But I'm like,
I'm like, let's get down cold. I want it to be dark.
I wanted to be rainy, likeI would love for it to rain every
day, Like that's that's like perfect, stay inside and read a book weather
for me, and that's that's myhappiness is dang inside reading a book,
not going on walks, you know, and stuff like that. Well,
everybody's different. That's why we're bringingup other ideas to help with being set.

(01:00:28):
You know, if you're sad duringthe holidays. But I don't know,
even okay, so say it's notany of the rain or whatever,
or even just being alone. Thefinancial stress of this time of year can
get especially with just the economy globaleconomy. Yeah, I don't know about
you, but I'm seeing so manyposts, especially on TikTok on social media

(01:00:52):
of people being really stressed of I'mnot buying a lot of guests this year.
I just I fucking can't spend themoney on this or you know little
thing. I don't know how peopleare spending five hundred dollars on new Christmas
decorations. That's just not you know, it's not in my budget. And
so people get stressed and upset abouttheir financial situation this time of year because

(01:01:13):
they feel like it is the seasonof giving. I should be contributing in
some way, shape or form.And you don't have to write like it's
hard to come to terms with ifyou've always been that person in years past
and now this one year you're ina tough s button you're not You're thinking
to yourself, Oh, where's mylife? It turns into this weird end
of year life life check of how'smy life going? Am I Am I

(01:01:37):
doing the things I want to do? Oh? I'm not there. Then
you start getting sad about just thestate of everything going on around you.
Yeah. No, I think thatthat's true. That there is there's and
it can be people who want toplease other people. And I think sometimes
it's okay to save to yourself.Hey I can't I can't get everybody the
gift that I want to get Ican't, you know, I can be

(01:02:00):
there and I can have good thoughtsfor people, and I can, you
know, I can you know,I don't do little things and and I
think it is and this is what'ssuch a cliche, but the thought that
counts, and I think is muchmore important than the gift. And if
you're not in a place where youcan do this for somebody that don't and
and and they're going to understand,I promise. I remember first my first

(01:02:20):
Christmas with Amy, when we werestill in law school. She didn't have
you know, she was very,very very broken. I always do it
as we were both broke, butlike she came from like a whole level
of broke that I had never been, and so she was in a place
where like, you know, shegave I think, you know, I
bought her like a coach purse forfor Christmas, and she gave me like

(01:02:40):
a Spice Girl's calendar because you know, she knew I like the Spice Girls
and she thought it was funny andit was a ten dollars gift or whatever,
you know, and that was theextent of what she could, you
know, do and it was verynice. And and then you know,
and I bought her the I gotthree hundred dollars purse because that's what I
was, you know, it wasin my realm. But then I remember
the the next year, like shewanted to just make gifts for people.

(01:03:01):
So she went through and she gotornaments, and she actually like made ornaments
for people and like put in theeffort and each one probably costs very little,
you know, but it was thethought account. It was very nice,
and you know, and I thinkthat you know, if if you
can't if you really are a giftgiver of it's something that really, you
know, means a lot to you, and the holiday means a lot to
you, but you don't have thefinances, then making something nice for someone

(01:03:22):
is good. And you don't haveto make something expensive. You don't have
to use a lot of crafts either. Just like little things are nice,
just little thoughts and stuff can bereally nice. Just a hand handwritten card,
it's something true. Yeah, Imean, over the years, I
used to send out Christmas cards toanyone who asked for one. And the
last year I did it was severalyears ago. But when it was almost

(01:03:42):
I think I sent out almost seventeenhundred Christmas cards that started getting a little
much. But I but I would, I would do a hand written I
actually made the effort of doing ahand written message in each card, and
not just signed my name, butan actual handwritten message in each card.
So I'd have to start doing youknow, it started like around Halloween whatever,
you know, Yeah, it was, it was, It was insane,
but you know, I had peoplereach out and say, you know,

(01:04:02):
I don't get a lot of Christmascards, so this is the this
is the you know, the onlycard I've gotten and your last year's is
still on the fridge. Because justthe handwritten message was a nice, nice
little gift. And so if youare someone who really wants to give but
you just don't have the financial meansto do so, don't let that stress
you out. Just little things areare great. Little things are perfect,

(01:04:23):
and that little thought means a lotmore than buying something glitzy. Yeah,
I agree with that. I've definitelycut back on givings and even saying,
you know, I used to tryto give gifts to everyone in my family,
whether it's a fifteen to twenty dollarsgift, and then having to cut
some of those people out and say, well, maybe you'll just get a

(01:04:43):
card instead. I don't think I'mstill providing something, right, but it's
not the it's not the same monetaryvalue, but it is the thought.
And yes, everybody gets bills inthe mail anyway, so it'd be nice
to get a handwritten card or something. Yeah. I don't love like the
holidays are just kind of take itor leave it. I get time off

(01:05:04):
or whatever. I say that.But then when I had to spend my
first Christmas in Nashville during the pandemicaway for my family, I realized,
oh shit, this can be hardfor I understand. I understand why it's
so hard for people. And Ithink if you're in that situation where whether
you're single or you're away from familyor whatever the case, may be finding

(01:05:28):
something that used to be a traditionwith your family, Like, for example,
we always used to go out andlook at lights in the neighborhood,
and that would be something we woulddo as a family. I tried to
do those same things alone and thatstill brought me joy, even though even
though my family wasn't right next tome, it was still something that continued
a tradition that I enjoyed and Icontinue that alive, even if it's just

(01:05:50):
yourself doing it is a nice gesture. Well that's interesting, you know,
and I think that that could work, I would say. And the alternative
is to then create instead of doing, like if if that's something that is
also creating a new tradition, right, like doing something this is what I
used to do with my family.Now I'm doing this, and this is
my new thing to do because I'malone or i'm away or whatever. And

(01:06:12):
it's it becomes your new thing.And that's that's okay too. To start
new traditions and is not a badthing. I'm not a big fan of
traditions for the sake of tradition,like this is how we've always done it.
So I like the idea of tryingof starting something new. Yeah,
and who's to say it just takesone year for it to be a tradition,
right, that's true. I mean, that's it. That's a very
good point. And Florida, forthe last few years, my Christmas tradition

(01:06:35):
was usually to go to the stripclub. That was my I know,
people go to the movies on Christmasand they see a different movie, and
that could be especially if you're aloneor whatever the case may be. That
I hate doing it then because that'swhen you actually you find too many people
in the theater. Like that's whatyou want people do it now? Yeah,
well, like post Thanksgiving the dayactually Thanksgiving Day is one of the

(01:06:57):
busiest movie days. I would havenever thought families go after luncharut like they
eat like it one and then theygo to the movies. The Christmas is
also, yeah, and Christmas isalso another one of those. So I
tend to tend to avoid that ifI can. But but I understand why
people would and I think that couldbe a fun thing to do. Yeah,
if you want to be around peopleand you're alone, that could be
a good alternative. But yeah,I you know, I take it to

(01:07:19):
an extreme, go to that youknow, go to that local dive bar
or whatever, and just that placeand I just chill. Still be around
some people if I want to be, but I don't have to be.
And yeah, I think it's funny. My My family's never really understood why
I don't really like holidays, andit's not because i've I mean, they've
never been toxic, they've never beenlike our holidays have actually always been pretty
pretty good. It's just I kindof got done with them. I was

(01:07:42):
just like, I'm just kind ofdone with the like the crass commercialization of
it. And it's just it's justlike it's toxic and like, and everybody
gets so needy and clingy and shittyand like, and you have to meet
with people you don't want to talkto and all these things. So I'm
like, let me just abstain andlike and and I think that that's helped
me not really get sad in thosetimes. Is that I look at it.

(01:08:03):
I'm like, you know, I'mI don't want to participate in all
of that, Like, I'm justnone of that brings me joy, and
so when not participating, I'm doingmyself a favor. Yeah, the consumerism
of it all really pisses me off. Yes, there are some good deals
if you are in the market forsomething specific that you've had your eye on

(01:08:23):
for, but then it turns into, oh, this is the gift guide
for this, and I have tobuy this or I really want this because
everyone's getting this for Christmas, andit's like, do I really fucking need
this? Is this really going toenhance my wellbeing? Or my life in
any way, or is it justwe're all wrapped up and impressing other people.
And that's what I don't like aboutthe holidays, is it Some of

(01:08:45):
the gift giving is to impress others, some of the get together thing is
just to show face. And it'staking a step back and going, let's
be mature about I don't have todo these things anymore if they don't actually
bring me joy. Yep, exactly. I mean, yeah, you were
not obligated to do anything that youdon't want to. Yeah, and if
you feel obligated to do so,then you might be trapped by your family.

(01:09:10):
And that's that's that's worse too,people who like feel obligated because they
don't want to upset any member oftheir family or grandma or whatever because you
know, she's a hundred and whoknows, you know whatever, she doesn't
remember, she's gonna be dead anyways. Does it really matter? Like just
you know, just it's okay tostep away and do your own thing.
You know, if you if youhad to wait for all of people you
didn't like it that you didn't wantto offend to die, like you're never
gonna have the chance to actually doanything on your own. You know,

(01:09:33):
sometimes you just have to say,fucking go do things, yeah that's true,
or don't it's not maybe not asblood as as I look it,
or don't do certain things as well. Like I think there's a big expectation
of maybe it's all these fucking Hallmarkmovies or whatever, the home for the
holidays where someone has to shaw acouple of hundred dollars to fly home to

(01:09:54):
see family for that week or whatever, when they could have saved that money,
and yes, they might have beenalone, but they would have had
a better time being alone. Butit's hard to say, oh, I'd
rather be alone than with you guys, and risk hurting feelings or not know
that you might actually be happier beingalone because you've never done that before,

(01:10:16):
you've never created your own traditions inthat way. But yeah, if you're
unhappy because you have to go travelto see certain people or whatever, or
spend the money to travel, you'reallowed to not do that as well.
This is your This is you gettingpermission to not do those things because you
have the expectation to take care ofyourself and your own finances and your own

(01:10:42):
mental wellbeing. And I think that'sthat's the priority of people need to start
making themselves, is you know,prioritizing them themselves and their mental you know,
wellbeing. And I know this.We have a lot of listeners who
have kids and then think, wellwhat about the kids. You know,
well, kids kids will do whatevertraditions you decide you want to do for
Christmas, you know. I meanI've had friends, you know who's kids,

(01:11:02):
you know, every year they takea trip and they go somewhere different
for Christmas. And it's not likethey don't go with family. They just
go somewhere, you know, somewhereelse for for the bid and they have
fun sometimes and there's somewhere they doChristmas. I mean Amy similely, I
always found it interesting and actually kindof respected this. They all worked.
Her entire family was, you know, was lower income, and they all

(01:11:23):
worked at like a variety of likeretail and service industry and everything, and
so they did Christmas like whenever theywere able to get the majority of them
together, and so it was usuallyit might be a week before Christmas,
it might be you know, twoweeks after, you know, and it
was just like that's when they gottogether and that was their Christmas and and
then and I always appreciated that becausethey were willing to just reschedule it because

(01:11:45):
oh, yeah, well so andso has to work and this person,
you know, and everything. Andwhereas my family was always very rigid.
It was always like, you know, no, this is when we do
it, you know, on thisdate, and that's it, and and
like you couldn't do anything different aboutit because you know, you have to
keep the tradition the way it is. I guess, you know. Yeah,
so that's I think that's another reasonI don't like it it too,
is because I really have some flexibilitybuilt in there. But but I think

(01:12:08):
that that with with your if you'refeeling like you you know, obligated,
and you're feeling like, you know, like with your children, start something
new and maybe you know, growsomething new with your kids and you might
find it to be something even moreexciting and something you actually look forward to
every year. Yeah, and buildin stuff that like, oh I don't
want them to miss out on thisor that. You can build in those

(01:12:29):
things into that new tradition, Ithink yeah. And I mean I had
friends whose kids, they like,every year they pick ten of their toys
that they donate to charity. Andthey do, and that's that's their Christmas.
They don't actually get They might getone gift each, but that's it.
They get one gift and then theyhave to choose ten things of theirs
to donate to somebody else. AndI feel like that's that's a really nice

(01:12:49):
way to to kind of show thatthe holiday maybe isn't as commercialized and and
you know, and and it canbe obviously kids can get resentful about that,
but you know their kids, thelittle you know, they'll they'll take
the learn from your example, they'llget over it. Yeah, like that
was that was one thing as akid we used to do was to pick
an angel and go shopping for thatangel, the you know, the the

(01:13:11):
child in need. And I actuallyreally did enjoy that because it's like,
oh, what do you know,what do they want? Let's let's look
for this gift for a four yearold and go shopping for them. And
that was always fun and that reallyfelt like going back to instead of consuming,
you know, you're giving. Yes, you are participating into the consumerism
to a degree, but you aregiving to your community in a way where

(01:13:33):
they really do need those those things, yep. And I think that the
other the last aspect of this thatwe want to talk about maybe is like
kind of the single versus couple,you know, since we're you know,
we talk about dating a lot andeverything that, you know, being single
for the holidays, you can kindof feel like maybe the holidays are meant
for couples, And I don't thinkthat's necessarily true. I think there's a

(01:13:55):
lot of events, you know,like I feel like you have to actively
seek out the events though, butthey are at your town has tons of
events unless you're in like some littlesmall BF or whatever, tons of things
going on and tons of you know, there's you know, there's all types
of like things like just holiday concertsand markets and yeah, exactly, and

(01:14:16):
you can go with your friends,you can go with you can do a
meet up. Meetup has you know, a lot of things going on during
during the holiday as well, becausethere's a lot of people who are alone.
And I think that, you know, if you don't like being alone
during the holidays, then then youknow, call up your friends and say,
hey, let's go plan something.Let's plan out for you know,
whether it's a friends you know,friends deal where you everybody brings something up
a pot luck or in exchange orcookie party or something cookie party like something

(01:14:40):
like that. Yeah, or orhell you go, you know, you
go volunteer your time at a ata local like soup kitchen to serve other
meet other people for meals, youknow, meals. I think that you
know, if if you sit athome and you're just going to be sad
about it, you can make effortsto go, you know, to do
things that will keep you occupied andI think will also maybe give you a
little bit more of the holiday spirit. Then you might realize, yeah,
that's a good point instead of justsaying oh, because and I don't agree

(01:15:04):
that it's really for couples, becauseI think there are so many activities where
a single person can said, likeall the Hallmark movies and stuff like that,
like it's always on movies, yes, But but I'm saying, like
the idea of the holidays is alwayslike, oh, the couple, you
know, it's always that's miserable andfighting and pissed that they didn't get the
gift that they thought they were gettingfrom their significant or they have to spend
Christmas or whatever at their spouse's family'shouse and not, you know, and

(01:15:30):
then so they're not doing what theywant. I think that there's a lot
more and we mentioned this all thetime, there's a lot more unhappiness if
you're a coupled during the holidays thatI think if you're single, Because if
you're single, it's really just themindset of Okay, I don't want to
be alone. What can I doto solve that problem? Perfect? And
then you can do all of thethings Adam just listed. But if you're
unhappy and you're coupled up and youhave all these other plans, what's the

(01:15:53):
fucking alternative, you know, leavethe relationship or not do those things at
the risk of pissing off your partner, or you go along for the ride
for some of these things that youreally didn't want to do, Like rip
Roy, I want to do certainChristmas things and he's like, I guess
we can do them. But Iwould be happy to go by myself too,
But I do think it would befun together. But it's one of

(01:16:14):
those of testing out what I evenif you're in a couple, what activities
would I like to do alone?Verse with my partner? Vers like keeping
everybody balanced because there is such anexpectation of everyone all together doing these things,
where I think you need to lowerthat and go it's cool if people
drop out, it won't hurt myit won't offend me, it won't hurt

(01:16:35):
my feelings. Everyone's going through somethingdifferent at this time, and we don't
really focus on that enough because wefocus on how magical it is and like
the final like the day of Christmas, instead of people's emotions around the holiday.
So give more grace towards people.Yeah, right, man, I
like that, And I think it'simportant to remember that you're not alone.

(01:16:57):
Yeah. I think that's that's youknow, very black of people feel alone,
but you're not actually alone. There'sthere's a lot of people who feel
similar, and there's lots of thingsyou can do about it. There's lots
of people you can reach out toif you do feel you know, if
you do feel like like you're completelyalone, you're not, I promise,
yeah, And don't go hook upwith an X around the holidays or please
do or like you do a Santastumble or some fucking bar crawl in your

(01:17:19):
hometown when you're back, or it'salways it's always the fucking week of Thanksgiving.
That like that the blackout Wednesday,that's what they've coined that trail or
whatever where you go back to yourhometown bars and then you end up hooking,
you end up seeing all the peopleyou went to school with and then
something happened. Just don't do thosethings. Aren't going to make you happy

(01:17:40):
during the holidays. I will tellyou, don't do those things. Well,
the blackout Wednesday might be. Imean, I have to to having
having participated the occasionally and uh inWednesday night drinking, I feel like I'm
on how on Thanksgiving week? Ifeel like that can be pretty foul.
But then don't go seek out highschool xes or you know people from your
hometown who still live there's this isthe great opportunity to rekindle this thing.

(01:18:04):
And I think our find our finalbullet on this is is just it's very
simple. It's okay to just besad too, Like you don't have to
be happy. It's okay to havesadness. It's an emotion that you should
feel. You don't have to repressit, you don't have to hold it
back. It's okay to be sad. Just know that you know that when
you're done being sad. There areways that maybe you can work with that.
And obviously we're not even talking aboutlike general depression and medication all these

(01:18:27):
other things you could do. Obviouslywe're not giving any type of medical advice,
but this is just like a kindof a what to do with you
if you're feeling a little sad becauseof the holidays or the related events around.
Yeah, but if you're I mean, yes, you can be sad.
But I would suggest to calling someloved ones who live nearby or who
just might be there to lean onand let them know how you're feeling,

(01:18:49):
because that could change the outlook onyour holidays too, if they might know
that. If you don't let peopleknow that you're feeling sad because of certain
things, they're never going to readyour mind. So those let those people
know so they could you know,it'll be easier to reach out to them
to plan something. If that issomething you want to do. Yeah,
that's very true. If you haveany tips for how to survive the holidays,

(01:19:14):
we'd love to hear them. Youcan call our DKs hotline of course
at four O seven five one ninezero one eight one, or you can
email us at Data kind of Suckspodcast at gmail dot com with any tips,
and although I always forget that,we have our face to group you
can put your questions or just sharehow you're feeling about the holidays, and
our Facebook group at Facebook dot comslash Groups slash DKs podcast, and if

(01:19:36):
you want to find us in otherplaces, you can find us on YouTube
of course, if you're not alreadywatching this at YouTube dot com slash data
kind of Sucks, Instagram at Datakind of Sucks, and of course we
both have individual Instagrams that we poston a little more frequently than our DKs
one and our tiktoks at Adamovitable andat simply serergy Underscore. If you've been
enjoying this podcast for a while,or this is your first one and you're

(01:19:57):
just tuning in, be sure togive the p podcast a five star rating
and review on iTunes. It reallydoes mean a lot to help the podcast
grow. Or if you're listening onSpotify, be sure to follow on there,
and I have been mentioning too.If you've been listening for a while
and you know friends who would reallybenefit from hearing the advice we talked about
on this episode, Share this withthem, share the time stamp we're like
love that they said this, Shareit on social media, share the like

(01:20:20):
the episode in tag us as well. Just to spread the word about this
podcast. Yeah, absolutely, Andif you do like to support us and
you like to support us more,you can do that at Patreon and that's
patreon dot com slash DKs podcast forfive dollars a month. We do bonus
episodes when we can. If you'relistening to this episode wondering there's gonna be
a bonus episode after this, there'snot because it's ninety Oh damn, I

(01:20:43):
was gonna ask you about now,and I'm gonna after we were finished recording
this, I'm going to go eatsome dinner and I'm starving. So we're
not gonna have time to do onethis week, but we will do one
for our future episodes. And uhand of course we have new episodes typically
coming out every two weeks with traveland everything that Sarah's gonna be on,
and we'll see how we stick tothat, but they'll be coming out as
frequently as we can. Just makesure you see if once you subscribe to

(01:21:06):
her on notifications, then you willgo when we have a new episode.
Yeah, you will miss a thing. We'll be back then with whatever new
episode we come up with next time. Whether you're married or fingle, or
you're worrying and on Witchmaner's back atyour place, listen to us and be
getting no buck, a tender grin, bubble of plenty of young trying and

(01:21:26):
trying and having to luck because weall know dating kind of sucks. Sarah
and Adam are due but kind.He says, dupid shit, and she
doesn't mind. They're not doing minisode. Don't make any buck life, but
the chicken woos banthersday buck, whydoes it work? We'll hear with the
cruck. They all know dating kindof sucks. Dating kind of sucks

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