Men vs Bear

Who would you rather encounter in the woods, a man or a bear? This question has proven controversial for many men in the world (and rather simple to answer for most women, overwhelmingly choosing the bear). This week, Sarah and Adam talk about how men should react to this question, expand the discussion to add some context for anyone who might be confused, and throw in a few bear puns as well. Also this week, Sarah makes a cake that has explosive properties, Adam makes more friends in Tulsa, and your hosts answer a call from the DKS Hotline! You too can call in and ask your question, suggest topics, or just give feedback by calling our DKS Hotline at 407-519-0181 today!

The DKS Podcast is a raw, honest, and hilarious podcast that focuses on all aspects of love, sex, society and culture, promoting a lifestyle of transparency, openness, and healthy communication as a path to happiness. It is created, edited, and produced by Sarah G. and Adam Heath Avitable.

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Website: http://www.datingkindasucks.com 
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Theme song performed by Crafty McVillain.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm AdamEathafittable. This is the DCS Podcast,
a podcast about love, sex,culture and society. This week we'll be
asking the age old question, wouldyou rather be alone in the woods with
a man or a bear? Enjoythe show, whether you're married or fingle

(00:20):
or poll or a bar hanging onWizmaner's back at your place, Listen to
us and be getting no buck,a tender and mumble, and plenty of
youngs trying and trying and having toluck because we all know dating kind of
sucks. So men have been losingtheir minds across social media recently over the
fact that women are saying if theywere alone in the woods, they would

(00:42):
feel safer with a bear over aman. Why is that? Why would
men be the scarier option? Today, Adam and I will be discussing why
women feel this way and why menjust aren't understanding this scenario. But before
we get into a man versus bearscenario, we're going to catch up on
our lives. Answer a question froma listener who called in with a voicemail.
And of course we wouldn't be hereif it wasn't for you and your

(01:03):
input does help us so much.So please, if you're listening and you
have a question or scenario or anythingyou want to share with us or you're
struggling with we want to hear fromyou, So you can call our DTS
hotline and leave a voicemail at fouroh seven five one nine zero one eight
one, or email us at Datingkind of Sucks podcast at gmail dot com
today. So, Sarah, lasttime we talked, you were planning an

(01:25):
anniversary four year anniversary with Roy.Did you guys actually end up celebrating.
We did, just delayed, sothe anniversary update is our actual date.
We said fuck that my friend wascoming into town, so we pushed it
off to the following weekend, fourtwenty. I think you have made a
comment between just you and me,like it's a great day to celebrate.

(01:46):
Good for you guys, that's right, yes, but you know, lots
of lots of fun, especially inimagine a state like Washington. Well,
no edibles were had, but Ihad been in my baking era because I
I was planning this tea party thatI had last weekend, and so I
made this olive oil cake as atest run before making it for the tea

(02:07):
party, and I was very proudof it turned out great. And Roy
loves sweets, so immediately he hasa piece, I have a piece.
We eat it, and we wereheading out to go downtown for our date,
our anniversary date in a couple hours, and probably thirty minutes after eating
the cake, I was like,why is my stomach feeling weird? So
I just laid down on the couchbefore I was in his room playing games.

(02:29):
I didn't ask him if he wasfeeling weird about it. And an
hour goes by right before we're gettingready to leave, and I was like,
my stomach feels really fucked up,and he's like, yeah, I've
been shitting my brains out recently too. I blame her olive oil cake,
and I was like, really,could it be the olive oil cake?
And then I looked it up thattoo much olive oil can actually be a
bad thing, just like the Starbucksalive oil drinks that they have that I've

(02:53):
never There's like the oleto drink.I don't know if you're familiar with it,
but it's just all oil and CoA. It's kind of well known that,
I mean, ollive oil is goodfor you, not for me if
you have constapation a spoonful of oliveoils, you know, like that's like
castor oil is kind of you know, like any type of oil, anything
that's gonna help, you know,ease things out. And so a lot
of oil oil and olive oil anda cake is I could definitely see that

(03:15):
being a cleanser. Like two cupsof olive oil two and a half cups.
I mean that was the bass withlemon juice, lemon zuest and orange
zest, so it had like alemony taste to it, but the base
was olive oil. So I justI kept eating it. Roy just immediately

(03:37):
wanted me to throw it away,but I was proud of my baking experience.
It was fantastic. So I justhad to have smaller pieces, is
what I learned. And then eventuallyI threw it out and I didn't make
it for the tea party because Ididn't want anyone shooting themselves. But that's
I think it also depends on yourhow used to olli of oil you are,

(03:58):
like, and if you like,if you cook pasta every night and
you you're putting in a lot ofolive oil, it's not gonna face you
maybe if your body's your body's usedto it. But do you remember though,
of those o Lean potato chips.No, there were these potato chips
that came out that a while agothat they had to put a disclaimer out
because eating too many of them wouldresult in anal leakage. That's one way

(04:21):
to put it. Cool. Yeah, yeah, so it was a huge
thing. There's so many parody commercialsabout it and making fun of it for
that. Yeah, well it was, but it was olestra or something was
anatos, which is sometimes it's supposedto be like a I think something that
was better for your cholesterol, butI think it might be more oil based,
and so that was part of theissue, I think. Yeah,
so Lesson learned. It almost derailedour anniversary outing because, you know,

(04:46):
an hour before Royce shitting his pantsand I'm not feeling so great. So
we ended up getting on the boatgoing downtown and hey, let's look there,
by the way, he didn't actuallyshit his pants, because I don't
want I don't want listeners saying thathe legitimately shot his pants. He didn't
generally shit his pants. He wasjust going to the bathroom a lot.
But those are two very different things. You're right, you're right. I

(05:09):
was just joking with them, waslike, you gotta shit your pants again.
That didn't happen, but so ouranniversary I kind of nudged him to
do the planning for it. Soit was a surprise when we got downtown.
And funny enough, as we're walkingthrough the streets, kind of going
in different areas and like, arewe doing this tour? Are we going
here? Where are we going?Just kind of making jokes along the way,

(05:30):
and then we turned the corner toSmith Tower, which is one of
the oldest high rises in Seattle thatused to actually be the tallest building west
of the Mississippi back in the day. They have a rooftop bar and they
have a fun little tour that youcan go through as well. It's all
really well restored and it's beautiful andI think there's office buildings and people live
there as well. So we didthat and took some photos, had a

(05:51):
couple of drinks, and then wewent out to dinner after and it was
a really good time, minus thefact that midway through the tour, before
we got up to the top whereI had to go to the bathroom,
again, and he was down andout for like twenty minutes. So I
still felt bad, but it endedup being a fine time. I can
only imagine how funny would have beenif you'd actually not tested it and just

(06:13):
serve that to your entire party thatyou had. I would have felt really
bad, especially because I would haveprobably had a huge piece because I'm the
proud person who baked it, whowants to try it, you know,
and then I'm sitting there in stomachpain the entire time. So I'm happy
I didn't do that, like somehowit would end up like the scene from
Bridesmaids or whatever. Right, yeah, yeah, I was speaking with So

(06:35):
let's let's get into your party too. You had a tea party. I
did have a tea party. So, as many of you know, I
have been doing a lot of estatesales, shopping just thrifting, and along
the way, I've come across acouple of halls of really cool tea cups
and nice plates and things. SoI've been building up my tea party dining

(06:56):
where I guess you could say,and hosted four friends over on Saturday,
and hosting is a lot. Iposted two other times, but it was
only two other people, and alsoRoy was part of the experience, but
this tea party was no boys allowed, as Roy continued to tell me the
entire time. So I made there'sjust a lot, a lot to prepare.

(07:18):
So I made the cucumber sandwiches,the egg salad sandwiches, the blueberry
bread. I was gonna do acake, and I said, fuck that,
I'm not going to find another recipe. And then just setting up the
table, putting. I did thislittle flower wall, I set the music.
I put together you know, lemonadeand water and you know, just
all these like nice things together onthis table and made sure it smelled nice,

(07:39):
and then had to clean beforehand.And then of course you can't throw
any of those dishes in the dishwasherafter the fact, so it was a
lot of cleaning up after and takinglike thirty forty five minutes just to break
everything down. So it was alot, and I think if I did
it again, I did enjoy it. I do want to say it was
a great time hanging out with myfriends and doing something different, because I've
never hosted a tea party, andthe tea party things I've been to have

(08:00):
been at restaurants, and things likethat where it's thirty five dollars for high
tea or whatever, and those arefine, but it's it's not the same
as having something at your house.So next go around when I host people,
because I would like to do adinner party or something like that if
we if we host, I wouldsay roy and I make the main dish
and then people bring sides or anappetizer or a dessert, so it's just

(08:24):
well rounded and I don't have todo all of the planning. Yes,
I mean as someone who's hosted many, many parties, many dinner parties,
never a tea party, but likeyou know, same concepts though, Yeah
it is. It's exhausting and it'sa lot of work, and you you
know, you like you're up latethe night before getting everything ready and then
you get up at the crack nawto make sure everything needs to be prepared,
and then trying to coordinate all ofthe food so if especially there's any

(08:46):
hot food, to make sure itall comes out at the same time.
When I would do Thanksgiving dinner formy family, we might have thirty people
over and I was the only onecooking, and so I would have to
make sure that the turkey and thepotatoes and the corn and stuffing and all
that was coming out around the sametime, so it was all done and
ready to you know, ready toeat all around the same time that nothing
was gonna get cold, and itwas it was exhausting, and I would
barely ever get a chance to actuallyenjoy it because i'd be then I'd be

(09:07):
so like ready to like start kindof like as people ate, like take
you know, kind of the kitchen'sa mess from doing everything too. Yeah,
So it's exhausting, but it isa lot of fun. It's a
lot of fun to host host thingslike this too. Yeah. I really
did enjoy hosting, but it wasjust so much work. Literally thirty minutes
before people were starting to arrive,I wasn't dressed yet. I had,

(09:28):
you know, just the it's likegirls going out for a night on the
town type of thing. I didn'thave my ritual of doing my hair and
listening to music, and I wasjust rushing through the entire thing until people
arrived and then I slowed down andyou know, it was all fine.
And you can also the another alternativeto would be to kind of rotate and
suggest someone else hosts and then you'llbring but everyone brings something each time you

(09:52):
rotate. Then, because even ifyou do have people bring stuff, you
still have to do all the otherlike there's still so much other work you
have to do to just to prepareyour place for it and all that.
Oh, trust me, I know. It's just like cleaning the fucking baseboards
for no goddamn reason because because itwas just nobody gives about. But you're
like, yeah, no, Ican't have some dust on this baseboard.
It'll be a bad look and noone's gonna notice it, but fucking me,

(10:16):
But it bothers me because I movedthe table out of the way,
so now that wall is showing andI don't know, just really stupid things
that I had to clean. Anduh, it was like my last two
row before I go on my trip. So I'm going to should I just
say Venezuela between you and I amgoing to South America. I'll be going
to Argentina and spending a month therethroughout me. Okay, so you're going

(10:39):
to be there for a month,right, So we'll see if we managed
to record the episodes, depending onthe quality of your internet while you're while
you're there. I think it shouldbe better given that I'm at an Airbnb
and not a hostile situation. Thatyeah, and I can control the level
of noise because I just have oneroommate who I know and have traveled with,
so she's pretty chill. If I'mtraveling in your own group or are

(11:01):
you traveling, like whether with agroup again or just just you and somebody,
just me and two other friends.So I'm not doing a travel program
like I've done in the past.I've done that twice. Now they're so
expensive, you know, and they'vealso increased their prices as well, so
they used to be two thousand ortwenty two hundred dollars for the month,
and now they're around three thousand tothirty two hundred depending and that's just out

(11:22):
of my price range. And that'snot including the flight or anything else,
right right, right, So I'vejust decided, you know, I have
a group of travel friends. Ifthey're free to travel, I'll go with
them. And I haven't really donesolo traveling since I don't even know now
Guatemala, no, Romania. Ithink Romania was the last time I really
did a big solo trip. Soand I'm not really about it right now.

(11:45):
No, So if I can getmy friend a couple of friends around,
yeah, yeah, like because thenyou can still go to your own
thing. But if you want togo out with people, you know,
you've got the small group there todo some do stuff with as well.
And I feel like that's kind ofthe best of both worlds because you can
still go off and be solo forperfactly, but a month solo can be
kind of, uh, you know, kind of kind of hard. Well.
The problem with traveling a month's solois that you'll meet people at the

(12:07):
beginning and they're just about to leave, so you're you're always feeling like you're
missing people, which is why thetravel group was good, because yes,
I'm traveling solo there, but onceI get there, everyone's arriving at the
same time, so we're all experiencingthese new things together versus people who are
leaving in two days. They've alreadydone all the things you might want to
do, so you just have amiss connection of just your experiences in that

(12:28):
city or whatever. Yeah, makessense, Yeah, it'll be exciting,
so you leave. Actually, we'rerecording this on April thirtieth, right you
leave leave tomorrow. Yeah, Mayfirst, May first through June second,
that's what I'll be gone so crazy. Yep, and you've got another big
trip. I know we've talked abouttoo, that you're going to the Olympics.
Isn't that right after that? That'san end of July, oh to

(12:50):
July. Okay, I'll have sometime back in, seeat whole six weeks
or whatever back in. That's fine. That's just enough time. It's just
enough time to be ready to goagain. Yeah, I don't know.
As everyone keeps asking me how excitedI am for the Olympics, I feel
less and less excited just because ofall the negative things that are being posted
on social media and people saying,don't come to Paris. It's gonna be

(13:11):
a shit show. And I haveto remind myself there's no way London was
prepared, you know. I don'tknow the Yeah, no, it's gonna
be a shit show regardless. Butyou know, as long as you can
make the most out of the shitshow, that's fine, right. Yeah.
I think what worries me is I'mtrying to because I've been to Paris,
so my expectations. I already havean expectation of the city and experience
beforehand. And I know it's notgoing to be like this this go around.

(13:33):
But my mom it's her first timegoing, so she's expecting this big
Parisian vacation and it's setting the expectationsof your going during the probably busiest time
in modern day history. Yeah,so yeah, it's not gonna be the
same. I'm just gonna grab alittle bagette and walk around the streets and
then look at the Eiffel Tower.It's gonna be insanity. So yeah,

(13:56):
it's all yeah, I can onlyI can only imagine and just tell people
you're from Canada. That's a youknow, I never had an issue with
that before. It didn't matter.Plus something, you're rooting for the United
States during the game. You're Canadian, but you're rooting for America. Hot,
that's true. Good point, wellexciting. So so yeah, we'll

(14:16):
see. Uh, this might beour last EPISOD for a month. I
don't think so, I really don'tthink. Well, we'll see, that's
right. If it happens to be, it happens to be. It's not
the end of the world, youknow, come back when we come back,
and uh, that's all it's goingon with you. Yeah, so
what about you? I guess yourpants. I haven't been. No one
was shitting their pants. Let's clarifyagain. Everyone was fine, Have you

(14:39):
been shooting your pants? I guessnot. I think I've talked about it
before. But now now I'm balancingthree different meal plans. Of those like
they send it to you and it'salready prepared, and I have to do
a throw on the microwave for twominutes and you have a meal. And
so I have three different companies thatI'm like testing out right now, and
I'm pretty impressed with all three ofthem. All have to, you know,

(15:00):
different pluses and minuses. So Imight try to keep it. But
it's so much easier than mine grocerieslike buying it. I still to buy
like some the base groceries, likethe core groceries, but I don't have
to go shopping for all these littleingredients. And I don't, you know,
I'm just myself. So it's likeit's nice to eat nice and easy
and just to throw something in themicrowave, eat and then I'm done,
and it's been great. It's closeto having a pill. It basically is,

(15:20):
yeah, which is exactly the youknow, the ideal world is just
taking a pill and not having toworry about eating ever. Again, that'd
be fantastic. And I know peoplewho hate that, they're so they so
abhor that idea because they're just likethey love the just the whole thing about
eating, the whole experience, andare like that and like and to me,
it's just like, no, it'sjust a pain of the ass,
Like it's just time wasted. Ifyou want to go out and have an

(15:43):
event or you're traveling and experience otherfoods. Sure, eating is great,
but during my normal Monday through Fridaygrind of work and dinner and the age
old question in our household what arewe doing for dinner? It drives me
fucking batshit crazy. And I'd belike, just make your fucking pill and
shot the fuck up. It justit bothers me so fun exactly. So

(16:06):
yeah, I have. I've beenjust hanging out here in Tulsa. I've
been doing stand up as as I'vementioned, had a show last week,
which was nice. It's nice tobe able to stretch, stretch my legs
a little bit and do a littlemore time and submitting to a few festivals
too, to try to see ifI can get some additional time. I
think it's it's right now. I'mat that point now where I'm working on
a new, brand new material andI want to do like significantly longer sets.

(16:33):
So I'm going to start putting myselfout there in the local, Like
we have a Facebook group seeing beinglike, hey, look I'm looking I
want to do like twenty to thirtyminutes right now. Like I'm trying to
really kind of get that stuff hiredout, so we'll see. We had
Uh, it's funny. We werepart of a Slack group for Tulsa Remote,
which I've mentioned and cause all thecontroversy. Yeah, I get in
trouble all the time for being sarcasticor whatever. But we're bullying apparently by

(16:57):
by like making fun of something thatwould be bullying. Making fun of it
that was say he deserved it,and bullying means there's like a power dynamic
here. We were two people.He was the idiot. I was making
fun of him being idiot. Itwasn't like everyone is piling on him or
anything like that, you know,but I feel like that's not bullying the
way you described what was definition andI was making fun of him. Hmmm,

(17:18):
yeah, I don't know. Sothen we had the tornadoes that came
through the hit Nebraska, and thenthe next day we're kind of all in
our area. And it's funny theythis Slack channel has like they have a
huddle. They have this one weatherguy who like, well, everyone will
get in and so they'll talk foran hour and track the weather and all
of this. And and I don'tknow if it's because I'm from Florida and
hurricanes don't you know, like whatever, and you have tornadoes with hurricanes all

(17:41):
the time too, But it's justlike, yeah, it's a storm,
like and if it comes then andif it gets close enough that you can
tell that it's about to hit,you go in your fucking bathroom and lay
in the tub, like end ofstory. Like you don't like, I
feel like you don't need to.Like the more you harp about it and
get all you know, anxious andeverything like that, the you know,

(18:02):
the the worst your time is goingto be, and when nothing happened,
you're going to be like you're gonnawaste all that like energy and emotional energy
for nothing. So Adam did notget in his tub is basically what he's
said. I had the windows ornot the windows open, but I had
the blinds open and I was watchingthe rain. It was really pretty cool
and that was it was like itwas like nice run rain and lightning and
nothing. It didn't come to us, which it did hit a couple of

(18:26):
areas, but if they had beena tornado, I would have I would
have heard it with they have tornadosirens here too, and uh most places,
yeah, and I would have,you know, I would have.
I would have sought shelter if Ihad needed to. But like to obsess
over it is just I feel likeunhealthy. So wait, go back to
the slack group now. So theslack group just has there's a Tulsa weather

(18:48):
channel and urtells remote group and theythey like this weather guy, will you
know, like give all this warning. But at one point he said something
like this tornado is not weakening,it is heading towards you know, tall
you have an hour to prepare.Ice to just hunkering down now. And
I was like, I'm in themiddle of a movie, Like I think
I'm just gonna watch my movie andyou know, if the power goes out,

(19:10):
then I know there's a problem,but like I'm not gonna go like
lay in the bathroom right now,just because like in an hour it might
come through and might come to thisone you know, one aspect, well
this one part of downtown. Youknow, like it's just it feels like
like overkill. I mean, bealert and be aware, you know,
don't be stupid about it, butyou also don't need to like be I
don't know, I just it wasit was a little I don't wanna say

(19:34):
frustrating, but I was. Iwas a little I was just just a
little I was rolling my eyes.It's basically what I was doing. I
was rolling. We get it.You don't like people, we know,
well yeah, but like they're perfectly, perfectly nice people. They're just overreacting
to stupid bullshit. But and Ididn't. I didn't roll my o Like,
I wasn't rolling my eyes publicly.I didn't say anything. I wasn't
gonna I didn't post anything sarcastic orfunny in there. I let them have

(19:56):
their you know, their moments offreaking out over you know, over what
ended up being nothing but whatever.So yeah, so we've had some you
know a few tornadoes, come through. It has been no big deal.
Well it's been no big deal becausethey haven't hit Tulsa directly. Yeah,
but even if they hit Tulsa directly, like it would be, it wouldn't
be it wouldn't That would be badand that would be tragic. I mean
the towns that they did hit,it's very tragic. But they but like

(20:19):
you can't control where they're going togo. You don't know where they're gonna
go. There's not really they reallycan't predict. They can disappear and then
touch back down somewhere else. Essentiallyyou can just yeah, you essentially can
do it. Just be alert andbe aware that there is you know,
one in the general area, andthen if it comes towards you, then
yes, you seek safety. There'snot really like much else you can do.

(20:40):
But I don't know, And yeah, what else is been going on?
There really hasn't been much else inmy life. The comedy I've been
doing, doing some karaoke, whichhas been fun. And yeah, that's
really it. Going to the movies, you know, living my life.
Yeah, did they go to anydates? Don't think I've been in any.

(21:00):
No dates. You have your goodgroup of friends that you go out
and drink with. So that's I'vebeen seeing that on social Yes, yeah,
got my neighbors and so they liketo go out and of and then
also the comics. You know,that's kind of a good group of you
know, meeting them as well.You know that. I will say,
tults remote, and I would suggestanybody who is a remote worker who was

(21:21):
like looking to get out of theirtown, it might not be a bad,
bad idea to apply to it becausethey're really do a pretty good job
of trying to keep you. Likethey give you a lot of community if
you want it, which is nice. I actually signed up for this lunch
program where it was they were goingto pitch you, you know, put
you with five other people and thencover your lunch one day, like just
one whit day during the week,you know, at a decent place so

(21:42):
you could just talk to other Tell'sremote people who might have similar interests.
And I signed up for it andthen they're email inviting me and telling me
what date I had to meet.Everybody went to spam and I didn't see
it and I missed the lunch.I know, I know because I actually
like I was like, oh,I'll be social I'll go out and do
that. I don't mind going outand you know, grabbing lunch and have
a drink and chat with people.But uh, yeah, so that was

(22:03):
unfortunate. But yeah. They havethis Idea Accelerator that I'm participating in this
weekend, which is over the Universityof Tulsa, and it's essentially kind of
like an entrepreneur support and they're tryingto help you figure out if you have
an idea for a concept, howto get it executed and delivered and created
into you know, any kind ofthe real world. And that they have

(22:26):
they have like like fifty thousand dollarsworth of grant money to give give out
to people whose ideas they choose tosupport. So I'm gonna I'm gonna go
do that. I've got an ideathat I've been working on that that I'll
go pitch to them. You're notgonna share because you don't want someone to
steal it and patent it. Iget it, I get it exactly.
My biggest concern, and you're gonnalaugh, is that I am so used

(22:48):
to working on my own during theday and like I'll get up, I'll
do some work and i'll be likeI'm ready for a nap, and I
will literally just like sit in myrecliner or go like lay in bed,
take a quick half hour nap becauseI'm just like, you know, I
haven't i haven't had to do likeanything that's like a solid, legitimate day
of work in a long time eighthours consecutively, Like yeah, not consecutively,

(23:08):
because I'll just be like, oh, i want to take a break,
or I'll go do dishes, orI'll go take a shower, or
I'll you know, fold laundry.Like it's always like doing something. This
thing starts at fucking like eight amand goes to five pm on Saturday,
and on Sunday it's like eight amto seven pm, and they pay you
but for going by the way too, so you have to go to the
whole thing to make to get paidthe money. But I'm like, I'm

(23:30):
gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna be likeTrump, I'm gonna doze off in the
middle of it. I'm just gonnabe sitting there and be like, oh,
it's time for my nap, andI'm just gonna like I'm gonna have
to like wear it, bring sunglasses. I can just No, you don't
want to do that. If peopleare looking at you for who they can
give money to and it's the dude'ssleeping or no, I know that's what
I'm That's the one part I'm notlooking forward to is like, you got

(23:51):
to be on. I have togo be on for that long. Now
you understand my pain of going toLas Vegas for work and having to be
on for those four days. Itwas just exhausting. You know. I
think I still have some old addor all somewhere around here that might work.
I'm serious, I think I've gotthat. If it does, I

(24:11):
mean, what, does it justbecome more potent. I don't know.
We'll see what happens. Or I'lljust bring a bunch of five hour energies
and just shoot those. That's goodfor your heart. Yeah, let's just
do that. It's like red Bullof vodka. Right anyway, Yes,
that's all that's going on in mylife. I have nothing else, dad,

(24:33):
I don't think. Okay, Well, moving on, moving on,
Let's do a quick little shout out. You know, we have a Patreon,
which you know we post on therewhenever we do episodes. We tend
to post new content little bonus episodesten twelve minute episodes of us just kind
of chatting after and after we record, and you can join Patreon at patreon
dot com slash DCS podcast and becomea member for like five bucks a month.

(24:56):
Just a good way to show ussupport for all this work that we
do, both this and the Facebookgroup which is still going strong. So
I'd like to give a shout outto Jennifer Garral who became a member recently,
and thank you for your support ofall of our work. Yeah,
thanks Jennifer. We will be answeringa voicemail from a listener when we get
back from this quick break before weget into this voicemail again. This is

(25:22):
the year of the listeners, sodon't forget that. We have our dCas
hotline that you can call anytime anywhereat four oh seven five one nine zero
one eight one, or you canleave us an email at Dating kind Of
Sucks Podcast at gmail dot com.If you don't feel comfortable with your voice,
you can also DM us as wellon our Instagram anyway to get your
story out there. You can justsay hi, hello, ask a complicated

(25:45):
question, or just you know somethingrandom that you saw on social media that
you want our take on. Butyeah, without delay, here's the voicemail.
Hey, Sarah Adam, I loveyour podcast. I just want to
start off by saying that, Sarah, I love your voice. And I'm
mentioning this because I remember in thebeginning a guy that you were dating had

(26:06):
mentioned how you don't have a goodpodcast voice, and I completely disagree.
I was curious to see what youguys thought about this. I was having
a conversation with my best friend andhe was telling me that when rejecting a
man, it's best to just givea solid note opposed to saying no,
I have a boyfriend. He saysthat one thing that could go on and

(26:26):
a guy's mind is, oh,she's saying no, she has a boyfriend,
But if she didn't have a boyfriend, she'd be interested. So let
me go ahead and just push alittle more or linger a little more,
and she may change her mind.And so I'm curious to see what you
guys thought about this, Like maybeif Adam, have you ever thought about
it in this way? And Sarah, have you ever been in a situation
where you rejected a man saying thatno, you have a boyfriend that he

(26:49):
pushed a little harder. Yeah,I look forward to hearing you from you
guys. Bye. So, firstoff, thank you for commenting on my
podcasting voice. I forget who saidI had a terrible podcasting voice, but
that's pretty funny. I don't rememberwho that was, either, but I
do when she said that, Iwas like, oh, I do remember
that. There was yeah, yeah, yeah, Like what a shitty thing

(27:11):
to say after a relevant asshole.I don't know, I can't even remember
you. But uh, regarding yourquestion, I have a scenario where I
said no, I have a boyfriendand it didn't really work out in my
favor, and when I was notwith that boyfriend anymore, he saw it
as his opportunity to jump in becauseI didn't have a boyfriend anymore, and

(27:34):
we ended up being pretty good friendswhile I had the boyfriend and then no
more boyfriend. That was his opportunity, and unfortunately, after that whole incident,
our friendship fizzled and I don't talkto him anymore. So I would
just suggest saying no, don't addthe because I have a boyfriend or no,
I have a boyfriend. It's justgiving them some excuse. They're only

(27:56):
paying attention to the boyfriend part,not the no. Yeah. I think
that it is one of those situationsthat when a man asks a woman out
and she says, no, I'mmarried or something, No, I have
a boyfriend. No I'm not datingright now, what he hears is no,

(28:18):
but there's a chance. That's allhe hears, exactly like no,
but try me later, and andthat like, you know, no,
but the situation may change, andlike that that's what they hear other than
the no. They don't even theyeven hear that when you just say no,
like you know, you can justbe like, no, I'm not
interested and they can think not rightnow, Yeah, what do I do

(28:42):
to make you interested? Or willyou change your mind or something like that.
So I do agree that the thesecond best thing to do is just
to be very straight and up frontand just say no. The first thing
to probably do is just anytime aman ask you out, just shriek and
point at him at the top ofyour lungs until he runs away, like

(29:03):
and just don't do anything out ofthat. Just make full eye contact with
him, like wide open eyes andjust go a just scream and point out
him and he run away and he'llnever ask you out again, he won't
think there's any chance because he'll beterrified of you. So that's what I
would say is the best option.But the second best option is just to
say no. Actually, I've seena couple of videos of people just if
a guy at a club asks you, hey, you want to go out

(29:23):
or whatever, you just start dancingreally weird and like convaulting on the dance
floor whatever, and they're like,what the fuck is wrong with them?
And then they leave. Yes,there's a there's a TikToker that I that
I followed. It is fantastic.I think her I think her name's Caffeinated
Kitty. And she says she's avillain life coach. I don't know if
I like that stuff. But shewill be people like women will suggest scenarios

(29:47):
or how do you deal with thisor whatever, and she will explain how
she like and she she's very like, she's a very she's tiny, she
teaching, she's like adorable, butshe will go like she will make any
guy uncomfortable, Like she's just like, oh, I just turned my head
like this and open my eyes alittle bit, you know, and I
and I look at them and andlike uh, and until they walk away
and they they're they're terrified. Andso she's managed to turn this into a

(30:10):
thing where if men think that you'recrazy, they're gonna they're not even gonna
try anymore. And so if you'repolite to them, they think, oh,
well there's a chance, which isjust such a fucked up scenario.
Men. Hey, men, you'renot entitled to women, Okay? Can
we just like, I feel likethis is just one of those things that
if because if you ask somebody outthen and she says no, that's it,
just walk walk away forever. Itgoes back to what we've always said

(30:36):
though, that men think being singleis a bad thing and women are constantly
trying to change that. So themasking them out is like, here's your
chance to not be single anymore andimprove your life, and women are saying
fuck that, no, thank you. Yeah. It's it's been recent recent
comments in my TikTok videos with thesemen that are like, you're not happy

(30:59):
being alone? What are you talkingabout? And when we're like, yeah,
no, I'm perfectly happy being alone, and these men just cannot understand
it because they're projecting their own likethat they can't handle being alone, and
so they're projecting it and it's justcrazy. It really is, like,
I don't know, just the lackof emotional intelligence is terrifying. Yeah,
so more of the story, sayno to men, just just just make

(31:22):
a weird face and say no.That's also a good way. If a
guy's following you or being creepy aroundyou, just start dancing really weird,
or make a weird face or screamah, do something bizarre. Yeah,
exactly. There's so many things youcan do that that might might help.
And so to answer your question,yes, just say no. I think

(31:44):
that, you know, if Iask somebody out and they gave me the
if they gave me a legitimate ideathat there might be a chance in the
future, then that's what I wouldhold onto. I wouldn't hold onto the
no, I would hold on tothe potential for the future. Well,
there's the difference of saying no,I'm not really in the headspace right now
replaced right now whatever, yeah,or yeah, I just that's not a

(32:04):
priority for me right now. Sayingsomething like that is a little different.
Yeah, But I mean that's thething is like someone's saying no, I
have a boyfriend right now, youknow what I mean, Like, that's
right. It's at this current moment, I have a boyfriend. So that's
the obstacle, not no, Idon't want to go out with you.
That's the you know, they maynot. But even and I want to
correct a little bit of what Ijust said, even the no is still

(32:27):
just move on with your life justbecause that's not a priority right now or
whatever now or blah blah blah,it doesn't fucking matter. It's still a
no. Yep, I agree,I agree. And simple one, if
you have a question, we wouldlove to hear what you have to say.
As Sarah said, you can givea call it four oh seven five
one nine zero one eight one,and you can email us as well.

(32:51):
And you know, we do likeyour input. And I do love getting
questions from people because I'm sure youhave something you're curious about or something you
want to talk about, and wewould love to love to address it on
Air' not always qualified, but wedo try. We're never qualified, but
we're totally gonna tell we're totally goto tackle it anyways. All right,
We're gonna go ahead and uh andtake a quick break and we're going to

(33:13):
get into the US, says Sarahsaid the age old question, which I
thought was funny. You said thatin our intro question yeah, which is
like you, no good question nobody'sasked except in the last two weeks.
But it's an age old question.It is now yes man versus bear.
So we'll be back after this quickbreak. I'm critically online. I don't

(33:35):
think that's a new concept for anyoneto grasp. And I introduced things to
Adam all the time, and he'slike, I don't see this on my
social media pages. How are youseeing this? And this is one of
those instances where I feel like Ihad to show you all of the responses
for what we're about to get into. You showed me a lot of the
responses I had seen. I hadseen some clips from it because a lot

(33:57):
of my because it goes with thecontent that I make on TikTok, so
a lot of my followers have beensending me different different things, But I
hadn't really been paying too much attentionto it and didn't realize how big it
had gotten until you kind of startedsending me some of the It was all
I was seeing. Yeah, soits women what I was seeing originally was
women stitching this guy who was askingthe question, if you were alone in

(34:19):
the woods, would you rather choosea man or a bear? And it's
all women on my for you pagethat were just answering bear, bear,
bear, Like zero women were sayingmen, no surprise, right, And
then I was seeing other weird stitchesof men, women stitching men of the
men who were really pissed off,going I don't understand why you wouldn't pick

(34:39):
man. We're not going to killyou. They're like, well, yeah.
What I thought was funny too,is that, like, you know,
the original hypothetical was very simple.It was just what would you rather
encounter in the woods or you knowor like I don't even think it was
a question. I think it wasmore of a statement, like women would
rather encounter, you know, ain the woods than a man. And

(35:00):
I was it was he was kindof making a statement to to kind of
like try to educate men, andwhen we're like yep, you know,
agreeing with it. But men thengot pissed and turned this into this complicated,
like series of weird hypotheticals that likegot more and more complex and like
slippery slope type arguments like all right, So if you have two babies and

(35:20):
you're walking through the woods and there'sa bear nearby charging at you, and
then there's a man with a cabinand he has a door open, you're
gonna go throw your kids at thebear because you're a bad parent, you
know, Like like that's the shipthat come up with it, right right,
yeah, or like or you know, you're you're like you're jogging through
a path and all of a suddena bear starts charging, charging at you,
and a man pulls up with atruck and it's like get in.

(35:43):
You're gonna just go ahead and liketake the bear right, you know,
and and like instead of instead oflike trying to listen, they just like,
let me come up with as manyhypotheticals because these women are stupid and
I'm gonna prove it to that andwill save the day from the bear obviously,
because we're men and we're so fuckedgreat versus Just if you're standing if
you picture it right now and closeyour eyes and you're standing alone in the

(36:06):
woods and a bear approaches you andthere's no one else around. A bear
approaches you or a man approaches you, which would you feel more comfortable with
right, I think the bear andthere's a lot of like it. It
makes it makes sense, It doesmake sense. Unfortunately, it's unfortunate really
because you would you would hope thatmen wouldn't be and this is like every

(36:29):
fucking episode we have in this goddamnpodcast. Right, you would hope that
men wouldn't be so shitty, Buttime and time again, we've learned as
a society that men do fucking shittythings, and we can't fully trust men,
So why would we in this scenario? And you and you can't tell
which men are going to be theones that are are shitty. And that's

(36:50):
that's the I think the big underlyingthing that so many men are having trouble
grasping as well. If you seea bear in the woods, you know
that that bears a wild great andyou know that it's acting on instinct and
that, for example, if it'srecently eaten, it's gonna leave you alone.
If you get really big and loudand make a lot of noise,
it's probably gonna get scared away.And it's it's not gonna want the effort

(37:14):
like it's it's an animal. It'sit's not a smart animal. It's a
it's a you know, it's clever, but it's not intelligent in that sense.
And you you know, and youknow that you have certain things that
will work. But if you havea creepy dude walking towards you and you
get large and loud and try toscare him away, that might just turn
him on. Yeah, if youif you tell a bear, if you
tell a bear no and you smackit on the nose with a stick,

(37:35):
it's likely to run away because itdoesn't want the it doesn't want any pain.
Men that that's not going to workon them, on a creepy man.
And and so then this is likebut men would be like, well,
I'm I would never do that.But how does someone know? Yeah,
And I think most men like tothink that the other guys in their
circle are also quote unquote good guysthat would never do anything terrible. So

(38:00):
why would women choose a bear becauseall the men that they know would never
do anything shitty? But how welldo they really know their friends? And
maybe you do have really good friends, But that's a sliver of the male
population in any of these instances.I had someone in the in Facebook,
uh, because this has spread beyondTikTok to Instagram and Twitter or Facebook everywhere.

(38:24):
And this guy get was getting reallyupset and saying that you know,
you know, it's hard when you'reyou know, good men. And he
said something like, you know,this misses the mark by making all men
rapists and murderers, when in reality, a vast majority of men are protectors
with integrity. And I wrote back, and I said, in reality,

(38:45):
the vast majority of men are notprotectors. They are enablers and silent partners
in what bad men do. Theirexcusers and what what were you wearing?
Ers, their male privileged deniers andjuror who say he has a bright future.
So that was kind of what Ireplied to him, and h you

(39:06):
know, and and of course Ithink women understood it, but a lot
of men just did not understand it. And it's it's like, dude,
I mean, but this is achance, because the question was asked for
the chance for men to understand whywomen would choose Bear, and men are
missing the point and they're just gettingdefensive about how great like women should have

(39:29):
chosen us because we're so great andwomen are stupid, instead of going why
would why would a woman not wantto choose a guy? That doesn't make
any sense to me? Yep,let me let me look at my myself
and ask other women what would makethem feel uncomfortable? What about men makes

(39:51):
them feel uncomfortable? But instead goingon the attack and just criticizing what women's
intelligence, saying that we're all stupidfor choosing a bear. Come on,
So, I think I think,you know, what would be good is
maybe And I'm sure people have seensome of these, but I think that
maybe identifying some of the maybe reasonsthat women have said, some of the

(40:14):
responses that women have given as towhy they would choose the bear, and
it might be I think it's kindof sobering, and I think that it
might be good for people to hearthis if they if they haven't heard the
arguments, or if they're new tothis, or if they're a man.
Yeah, okay, so here aresome of the responses from women. People
would believe me if I said Iwas attacked by a bear the bear sees

(40:37):
me as a human being, thatone that one's like fucking dark. Yeah.
Yeah, And we've done an episodedo men actually like women as human
beings? We've done it at littlelegitimate episode all about that identifying the fact
that most men do not see womenas human beings, and so that really
hit home. If I survived thebear attack, I won't have to see

(40:58):
it at family reunions. The worstthing the bear can do is kill me.
Yeah. That was a solid onetoo. Yeah yeah, And that's
that's one I think a lot ofmen also don't understand that that's that's the
herd. That's one of the hardestones for men to understand, but for
women, I think it's the mostobvious one. Yes, yeah, yeah.

(41:20):
Bears don't get enjoyment out of it. Yeah, No one will say
I liked the bear attack. Themen not getting this don't realize that there
are fates worse than death. Everywoman knows a woman who's been raped or
sexually assaulted, yet no men knowa rapist. Cognitive dissonance. That's a

(41:43):
That's another good point too, ismen men like to try to pull out
statistics and everything when it benefits them. And I saw men saying like,
well, you know, four percentof this there's apparently it's only four percent
of men that are violent offenders orsomething like that, And I was like,
Oh, that's that's interesting when wealso look at other statistics that show
that ninety eight percent of women havebeen sexually harassed in some capacity, and

(42:06):
that two out of three women havebeen at least at the minimum reportedly have
been assaulted in some capacity. Soare you trying to tell me that it's
just that four percent of men thatare doing all of that, or is
it a lot of other men thatare, you know, doing behaviors that
men support. Right next one,the amount of men getting pissy about this

(42:29):
pretty much illustrates why so many womenare choosing the bear. It's like they're
just further further making the point,right right, Men always more concerned about
getting their feelings hurt than the factthat women are unilaterally suffering from violence and
murder at the hands of men.That's it, you know. And that
also it's funny that that I wouldsay that also ties into something recently I've

(42:52):
seen with like false accusations, wheremen are like, well, you know
what about women who make false accusations, ignoring the fact that men are more
likely to be sexually assaulted by othermen than they are to have a false
accusation levied at them, and mensuffer at the hands of other men,
suffer violence and murder, and menare still the bigger problem, you know.

(43:14):
And it's like you think men wouldunderstand that that they're the wh when
you say man is the world's greatestpredator. It's not just of women,
it is of other men too.But but men don't want to admit that,
like that would somehow be weak toadmit that. So you pulled something
from from Reddit that was I don'tknow what do you know? What?
Do you remember what? Sub reddit? It was? Honestly, it was
people talking about this man verse bearscenario and people were going off in the

(43:37):
comments about their reactions to it.Okay, okay, So then this was
a This was a woman who was, uh, who was talking about this?
Do you want to go ahead andread it? Yeah? Okay,
here's her question? Is anyone elseflabbergasted experiencing men's reactions to women choosing a
bear? To the would you ratherbe stuck in the woods with a man

(43:57):
or bear? Question? I thirtynine female was asked by an acquaintance and
my answer was unless the man isone of my family members, I'd choose
the bear. And he got reallypissed off. He ranted on and on
about how I'm being sexist and tellingme you're a tough woman. What are
you even afraid of? You couldtake care of yourself if you had to
bro what. I walked away,unfriended and blocked him. He is not

(44:21):
wrong, as I am tough,but that's only because I survived a sexual
assault and domestic violence barely. Iwas born in developing country and was raised
with self defense lessons. Both myparents and my family raised us to be
able to protect ourselves. We movedto a first world country when I was
in my late teens. All thattraining failed when I needed it after a

(44:42):
lot of therapy. Looking back,a part of me was scared of hurting
him and getting deported. I reallywish we could put all of the misogynistic,
evil twats on an island and sealedoff from the rest of us,
and then they can exist alone intheir manosphere. And then I'd answer,
men, Yeah, and first ofall, men, women can't be sexist
towards men. Sexism just like racism. Yes, I know what the actual

(45:05):
dictionary definition has, but definitions evolveas society evolves, and sexism and racism
is a power dynamic, and sothe person with the power cannot experience the
ism, and so like white peoplecannot experience racism, and then men,
you cannot experience sexism. You mightbe able to experience some level of prejudice
in certain areas, but that's notthe same thing. So let's just say

(45:28):
that when men say you're being sexist, I immediately stop listening anything they have
to say, because they're idiots.But yeah, this concept of you're a
tough woman, what are you afraidof? Is essentially being like, yeah,
men are shitty, but you're you'retough. You can handle you could
handle a creepy guy like that,that's what he's saying. Yeah, sure,
get over it, get over yourself. You can handle you can handle
a man. Yeah, And andyes, I do think that, you

(45:52):
know, if you could, ifyou could basically take all all of the
the men and put them on anisland, you know, then I think
everyone would choose man at that point. Yeah. Do you do you remember
there was a time when someone said, if men weren't around for twenty four
hours, what would you do?Oh my god, I remember that.
Ye. Yeah, and women werejust like I would take a walk at
night like I would go to thegym without wearing worrying about what I was

(46:14):
wearing. I would, you know, I'd go to a club and dance
and have a drinks without having tocover my drinks, you know, like
all of these things that they wouldbe willing like and and men, of
course, once again got defensive aboutit. And I feel like that's that's
the biggest issue of all of this. It's not the hypothetical. It's how
men react to these hypotheticals, andhow men will get so fucking defensive as

(46:37):
if like it's a personal attack onthem when we're just saying in a general
statement, men, you suck right. Well, Like the thing is is
like because in the same breath aman will say something like I have you
know, well, I'm you know, I'm a protector and a provider,
and you know I'm there to to, you know, to if anyone hurts

(46:58):
my girl, I'll be there tokill them, you know. And like
they're they're like they're trying to pretendlike they are these violent people who are
holding in the violence for their fortheir partner, you know, they're they're
just barely brimming over with all thisviolence anyway, like that's that's kind of
like this the the toxic masculinity aspectof this that you'll see is men will
say those those things, and it'slike, so you're admitting that you don't
know how to control yourself and thenyou have no emotional intelligence and and like

(47:22):
if if you're you let your angerget away from you, like that's that's
not going to be a good goodthing for a woman, even if you
think you're protecting them. And andI think that with with this, just
every man has men who I Iam surprised at some of the men that
I've been seeing who have gotten upsetby the are mad about this whole thing.

(47:44):
Yeah, like we've had actually metin our Facebook group that have gotten
upset about it and and and likeare are taking it personally? And and
I I just I just don't understandlike the mentality. And I think that
is this enough? Though? Ithink men who's just done with beingside?
So this is really the straw thatbrings the camel's back. Is that what
it is? Maybe? But it'sjust like you know, it's yeah,

(48:07):
I don't know if that's what itis. It's just finally that this man
versus bear. Men have always justassumed, well, at least women will
choose me, they're not going tochoose a wild animal. And they're like,
no, we're gonna choose the wildanimal, you know. And and
I think that it's it's maybe it'sjust finally kind of clicking for even men
who have been able to kind ofconvince themselves that they're they're good, that

(48:30):
they're good men, and maybe theyare, they're still taking offense at it.
And I don't know, what areyour thoughts on how men are reacting
to this. Well, so thenthere's there's the irrational thoughts like you're saying,
and then there's also responses from men. What really made me go,
holy shit was this TikTok video Isaw that got taken down apparently, I

(48:51):
don't know, I can't find itanymore. But this wife asked her husband
the question and he has to thinkabout it for a while and go back.
And it wasn't an immediate man,you know, and he had to
think about it. And her questionwas phrased with a if our daughter is
alone man or bear, And becauseit was someone that he loves, changed

(49:17):
the question completely for him, Ithink. And he ultimately chose bear.
I was like, well, yeah, now you do you understand why?
And I think I saw a similarone where it was it might have been
also a daughter one, but hewas like having issue with it. She
goes, okay, well, letme ask you this. If you had

(49:37):
the choice between leaving your daughter witha woman in the woods or a bear,
which one? And he'd be like, woman like? And he answered
instantly a woman. But when itwas manvers where he had trouble, And
then I think that made him kindof understand a little bit, Oh why
am I wrestling with this, youknow, like so much. But if
it was a woman, of coursethere was no problem. Like I'm not
even not even a second guess that. Yeah, but that's sad. That

(49:59):
in it self is a sad response, you know. Yeah, it's a
lack of empathy and which which iswhat you find with a lot of I
think a lot of men who whojust don't haven't built that emotional intelligence.
They don't have the ability to putthemselves in someone else's shoes. And these
same men who will ignore male privilege, for example, they just don't understand

(50:20):
the fact that men have a certainlens that they see the world, and
women have a different lens and itdoes affect it. I mean, you
know, it's the same thing aswalking to your car and you know,
you know, in a parking lotand just being alert and you know,
and things like that. And Ithink that men are so they like,
they're they're just not capable of puttingthemselves in there in their shoes. If

(50:40):
you have a little fucking empathy andyou think about it, and you're like,
okay, if women don't know who'sdangerous and they don't know who's safe,
and they do know all of thethings that men have done to women
which does not end or begin withdeath. And a woman encounters a bear

(51:02):
and a man, you know,either a bear or a man in the
woods. You can understand why thebear has a predictability to it. The
bear has a is acting on instinct. The man is making an active choice,
right, and these men are choosingto be terrible people. So you
don't know what this man has chosenthat day. Has he chosen violence that

(51:23):
day? So like, and ifyou look at it in that way and
you're like, it's not that she'ssaying that all men are worse than bears.
That's not. What this hypothetical issaying is which chance are you taking
with? Exactly. It's the factthat there are enough men that are more
terrifying than bears and what they woulddo to someone and the permanent, long

(51:47):
lasting repercussions of that that a womanwould rather take her chances with a bear.
And so as a man, youshould look at that and say,
oh, my god, what havemen done? What have we done as
men? What is what? Whathave we done to this world? That
that's the choice that women are making. And instead of coming up with a
bunch of hypotheticals and trying to convincewomen to to you know, you're stupid

(52:13):
for thinking of this, because that'sgonna win an argument is calling the other
side stupid, right, yeah,exactly. That always works, right,
yeah, that always works to makethe other side feel completely unheard. But
then it just again goes back tothe points like we've had how many thousands
of years of being oppressed by menand now you're gonna say we're stupid?
Okay, just another one for thebooks, exactly. And I think that

(52:38):
what men can do is you listento this and you say that is awful,
That is fucked up. What wouldmake you feel safe? And I
think that those and don't put thatburden on the woman having to educate you
and what we would make you know, what would make people feel safe.
It's a rhetorical question. And thenyou should be able to say, Okay,

(53:01):
when you see bad behavior by men, you call it out. And
that doesn't mean when women are aroundand you're trying to put you know,
you're trying to you know, agood guy. Yeah, exactly. That
means you do it even if you'rearound your friends and it's just you and
your other friends and they're saying something, right, it means you say something
like, hey, that's not okay. It means that you call it the

(53:21):
bad behavior. It means you don'tmake excuses for the behavior. You don't
play the devil's advocate just because whena woman makes it has a discussion,
you don't need to have a counterargument for it every time. You don't.
You know, you're aware of howyour privilege leads you to see the
world, and you don't do thingslike make excuses and say well they you
know, like like in rape trialswhere they're like these other men who might

(53:44):
be decent men are making excuses,Well, you know, he's young,
or he didn't know what he wasdoing, or he has his whole life
ahead of him, you know,And and they ignore the fact of what
happened to the victim. Like,here's the thing is, if a bear
hurt a woman, men would gettogether and hunt that bear down and kill
it. I mean, that's standard. What would happen if a man attacked

(54:06):
a woman in the woods, menwould protect that other man would happen,
yeah, he you know, andand and they would make excuses, and
they would ask her what she waswearing, and they would ask her why
she was there in the first place, and maybe she liked it anyways,
and and all of these other things, and you know, and and you
know that that's the problem. Andthat's what men have to understand. Men

(54:28):
have to look at that scenario andrealize that we have to police men,
and we have to be vocal aboutit, and we have to be aggressive
about it. And we need tostop putting up with shitty men. We
need to stop emboldening men. Wedon't and it's not even us in bolding
them. We don't want men tofeel like they have that power. And
if other men call them out.If enough other men call them out,

(54:51):
then they will lose that power.Yeah, I think that's the problem.
And like the dynamic right now iswe're trying to get more men on the
other side to call out shitty behavior, and the shitty behavior men are fighting
tooth and nail to keep whatever powerin that dynamic that they have, and
so the shift is causing even morecontroversy than maintaining its status quo and just

(55:14):
letting it slide. Yes, Andthen I'm seeing men say, well,
you know, like with all thisjust makes me not want to be a
good man anymore, that's your takeaway? Wow, yeah exactly. And I'm
like, you know, hey,you're not a good man. Then if
that's if that's your takeway it youwere not a good man to begin with.
If you're like, well, youknow, all this toxic makes me
not want to be a good person, well then you're not a fucking good

(55:35):
person because you don't do it forthe recognition. And then they wonder why
they're single. Billy, I don'tunderstand why I can't get a date.
Adam. From your perspective, though, man versus bear, which would you
choose Bear? You would you wouldreally choose bear. I just think bears
are cool, Okay. I feltlike maybe I went walking in Yellowstone looking

(56:01):
for a bear by myself when Iwas yeah, without my wallet or a
phone, yes, and fell downa hill. No, like no,
I I I still think though,I feel like bears would be safer because
if I was k yeah, justyeah, who knows what a random dude
like, how you know what thefuck's and why is he in the woods?

(56:22):
Why am I in the woods?But you know, like, uh,
which one of us is? Whichone of us is wrong for being
in the woods. But but likeand so you know, a bear,
like I said, I I wouldknow how to like be loud and tall
and get it to you know,run away and and if not, well
then oh well. But it's funnywhen when I heard the scenario, like

(56:44):
it never even occurred him that it'dbe controversial. That's that's the funny thing
is when I heard it, Iwas just like, yeah, why would
she choose man? I mean,like of course, like that just it
made so so total, so muchsense to me. And it's blowing my
mind that that so many men aregetting so but hurt by this. It
goes back to that dynamic. They'renot used to not being the center of
fucking everything and being right and havingall their privilege, and so this is

(57:07):
just one more nail in the coffinof they're losing this fight and women are
being finally heard and they don't fuckinglike they don't like it at the end
of the day, Yeah, andthey have no control over it because they
can't get dates, aren't having sex, aren't getting the same appreciation that they

(57:28):
once got, which whatever the fuckthat means. And so this answer is
basically just that right in their faces. And it comes down to the last
we might even talked about last episode, but you know, the idea that
women don't need men anymore, thatit's all about trying to be someone that
women want to be with and insteadof like men being like, well,

(57:49):
but I'm used to being the protectorwith the provider, even though no,
you really weren't, dude, Butlike, that's like the mindset that they
had and now they have to actuallybe a partner. And so many men
are unwilling to shift from that initialperspective, and that's going to be to
their own detriment. It's not goingto be something that women are going to
be affected by It's just those menare going to be alone. Yep,
I'm telling you. I mean thisis my woo woo horoscope girl stuff.

(58:12):
But we're in the Age of Aquariusright now, so a lot of things
are getting uprooted in the world aswe're seeing in the news and everything else.
So this is just one of thosethings where women are waking up saying
we don't want to fucking deal withthis anymore. Age of Aquarius. Just
keep your eyes peeled. It'll continueto the Age of Aquarius. Yeah,
it's from the musical Hair. Okay, well, look at you. I'm

(58:37):
a woman Aquarius, so I thinkI've heard that song before for some reason.
All right, well, thanks toyou. Thank you very much to
everyone for bearing with us. Ohthat was bad. I know you're probably
waiting for that as we got intothe grizzly details about a polarizing topic.
You done well. I'm trying tothink of any other bears I can do.

(59:00):
Hopefully this is a high couality.Do something with Panda. You want
to do something with uh? Yes, And you know, once again,
we are never going to pan toour audience. Let's just fit in so
many bears of that, I'm prettyimpressed with that. I mean, yeah,
if we got specific with which typeof bear, I think more people
would actually choose bear too, wouldrather kind of a koala or a man

(59:23):
or whatever, like oh you obviouslyquality you know, well, what are
your thoughts on this whole man versusbear scenario? You can sound off on
our DCS hotline at four zero sevenfive one nine zero one eight one,
or you can send us an emailat Dating kind of Sucks Podcast at gmail
dot com. Yeah, we canjoin our Facebook group where there is already

(59:45):
a lively discussion going on and menare being but hurt, which I'm very
disappointed of those men. When youlisten to this episode, I'm extremely disappointed
in you. But you can jointhe Facebook group and that's Facebook dot com
slash Group, slash DKs podcast.Of course, you can support us on
Patreon at Patreon dot com, slashDKs pod gosh as well. We do
have this on video as well asaudio, and so if you're just listening
to us, check us out onYouTube, YouTube dot com slash Dating kind

(01:00:07):
of Sucks. You can subscribe becausethere's all types of shorts that get up
there that are really controversial that Iput up too that the people all the
best YouTube comments, high quality YouTubecomments, and that same content is posted
on our Instagram at dating kind ofSucks, which gets like no comments,
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(01:00:31):
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We would still love a rating andreview on iTunes five stars if you can,
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will be back either in two weekswith a new episode or in five years
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(01:00:52):
the quality of the internet. InVena, Gentino, argent Swala wherever is
gonna be next, but we'll beback then with a brand new episode until
next time. Whether you're married orsingle or probably your age hanging out with
Swinger's back at your place, listento us and beginning to buck a tendermind

(01:01:15):
bubble of plenty of young trying andtrying and happen to bluck because we all
know dating kind of sucks. Sarahand Adam Ardulava kind he says, stupid
hit and she doesn't mind. They'renot doing this so to make any fuck
life as a chicken woos fethersday pluck. Why does it work, we'll hear

(01:01:35):
with the cruck they both know datingkind of sucks. Dating kind of sucks,