The Bumble Fumble

Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Hi, I'm Adam, He's evitable, and I'm Sarah. This is the
dCas Podcast, a podcast about love, sex, culture and society. This
week we're talking about the recent BumbleFumble seeing across the globe. Enjoy the
show whether you're married or fingle,worrying and on Wismanner's back at your place,

(00:23):
listen to us and beginning a tenderand bumble of plenty of young trying
and trying and happen to bluck becausewe all know dating kind of sucks.
So since it's beginning, Bumble hastried to differentiate itself from its dating app
Brethren by being the woman friendly andwoman empowering app. And while that may

(00:43):
have seemed true, one terrible recentad campaign has burned that all to the
ground. But before we get intoBumble's stumble, as always, we'll talk
about what's going on in our personallives and all talk about what to see
at Aguazoo Falls. We also havea call to our DKs helpline, but
we're almost through the backlog and needyou, yes, you to call the

(01:06):
hotline at four zero seven five onenine zero one eight one and leave us
a voicemail right now. Is therea relationship question, a dating issue,
or even an interpersonal communication concern thatyou want some guidance on. You can
call the hotline or email us atDating kind of Sucks podcast at gmail dot
com. Today, moving on,though, I know loyal listeners will know

(01:30):
I'm currently in a foreign country.They might even know the name of that
foreign country. But Adam, doyou even know where I am? Well?
I know that it's in South America, that's right now. I know
that you were recently in Nicaragua,Yes, that's correct, and Venezuela.

(01:52):
So I'm going to say that youare in Argentina. That is correct.
Yes, all right, you didit. I did it. It's just
they all, they all start toblend together, all the different places you
get to, you get to goto so and you know, and since
I've never been any of them,I have no differentiating things except they're all

(02:12):
down in that area. They're allthey're all nearby each other and far away
from us. I'm not as luckythat my brain's firing on any cylinders right
now today because I'm not hungover,like that's why. Yeah. Yeah,
last night, my neighbors and Iwent out to this bar that does a
karaoke Bingo night on Monday nights andwhich I like, kind of a fun

(02:35):
concept, and it was it wasyou get a bingo card at the start
of the night and it just hasthings like hair band or eighties song or
a song that we or the wordfree or a song that mentions money or
you know whatever. Yeah, andso whoever sings it, like even other
people singing it, you get tomark it off on your big Go card

(02:55):
basically, but if you want toget a bingo a lot of times you
have to, like man, youhave to like choose songs that'll meet that
and so we were doing that.It was actually a lot of fun.
So like they had like one thatwas like you had to mimic an animal
or mimica mimic. No mimica mimicsomething like you had to mimic And so

(03:15):
I like, I did a songthat was I was saying the Rainbow Connection
as Kermit the Frog. I waswondering, why the hell because I saw
that on your Instagram story and Iwas wondering why you would choose that song
to sing at karaoke, And thenI was wondering, do you normally sing
that song that is not a normalsong I sing. And actually, the
funny thing is one of the biggo squares was the karaoke DJ's choice,

(03:38):
so he like he had chosen thatsong for me as my choice. He
just because he because you know,he's like, oh, I know people
need Rainbow is one of the like, oh well the one that pops up
a lot, so this will dothat and uh and you know whatever.
So I yeah, so then Idid the Kermit impression while I was singing
it, which was just ridiculous,but yeah, it was. It was
a lot of fun because, likeyou, like I did, I did.

(03:58):
I sing a lot of songs thatI wouldn't only have. We did
duets and things like that as well. We got there like they started karaoke
nine. We got there at seventhirty. I just hang out the bar.
We were the only people in thebar, and then we closed down
the bar, so they were theretill two in the morning, which is
not the plan. The plan well, I thought we'd go for karaoke,
and the plan you should have beenon. Didn't plan to stay out late

(04:21):
every time and then you stay ohI know, Well, the thing is
is, I honestly would have beenfine leaving earlier. But usually my neighbors
they're they're all there. They're they'rea group that gets tired early. So
usually around like ten thirty, they'rethey're ready to call it a night level
I like, yeah, exactly,yeah, but this time they did,
were finally staying out till all hours. So we we did and uh,

(04:46):
yeah it was it was late.And then I remember coming home and I
actually wrote the agenda for the uhfor the episode at two thirty in the
morning, and then got very littlesleep and so now I'm yeah, now
we're recording this and I'm not reallyfunctioning right now, so that's all right.
So yes, anyway, that wasThat was a lot of fun.
I'm looking my neighbors and I youknow, we're a lot of fun.

(05:06):
We would kind of have fun.My one neighbors from New York, she
just got her very first car.She'd never had a car before, wow,
because she didn't drive in New York, so she had she got a
driver's license when she was younger,but then never drove and so she had
to go new driving lessons. Andthen when her car arrived, she asked
the other girl and I to comeout and meet her. At her car
out in the that was in thefront of the building. And we got

(05:29):
there and she's like, all right, I want to drive it into the
parking garage, but I want everybodyin the car with me to help me
with this. And so she getsthe car. She says, okay,
now which one's the gas again?That was the first thing she said,
yeah, And she wasn't joking.She just said yeah. Those her first
time behind the wheel of a carand so long, so that was interesting.
So now they gave her space rightnext to my car. So she's

(05:50):
like, well, good. Atleast I know if I run into someone's
car by accident, it'll just beyours and it won't be a big deal.
And I was like, that's true. I don't really care. So
you can. You can use mycar as bumper practice if you need to,
as long as it's still drivable.I don't give a shit. And
yea, yea until she hit it. No, I mean, honestly,
that car. My car is old. It's you know, it's like twenty

(06:10):
twelve. I think twenty fifteen.I don't know, it's almost it's it's
it's old. It's got one hundredthousand miles on it. Someone hit it
just a scratch and it was enoughfor me to total it. That'd be
great and I'd be able to buya new car. So but yeah,
it was so it was. Itwas a lot of fun and uh and
while we were at karaoke, therewas there was very few people at the
bar. There was a couple,there was a one woman sitting by herself,

(06:32):
and there was us. That wasit. It was a good Usually
there's a lot of regulars coming in, but none of the regulars actually showed
up that night for some reason.And the woman sitting by yourself says,
I know you. You came tothe you were here back in the day
when blah blah blah. And Iwas like, actually, I've only been
here for six months, so you'reyou're thinking of something that she goes,
well, how do I know you? And I'm like trying to go through
the different things and then she's like, do you have Instagram? So I

(06:54):
gave her Instagram. She shows datingkind of sucks, that's what it is.
I listened to your podcast and sothat's really cool. So I want
to give a shout out to Smashthat who was very very engaging in fun
to chat with throughout the night,but uh, we're one of just a
few podcasts that she listens to.That's so nice. And then the couple
was sitting there and towards the endof the night, the guy walks by
and he just got married to theone that he was with, and he

(07:15):
walks by and he says, Iknow you from TikTok. So it was
it was a it was a crazynight. But I'll tell you what my
neighbors thought. I was the coolestfucking person in the planet just because we're
at a bar, and the othertwo customers basically were like, we know
who you are, and that wasyou know, well, I saw on
Instagram post that you shared that wassaying that you're too famous for when we
were recording last episode and they werebanging on the window or whatever, they

(07:40):
that you were too famous to hangout with them. Yeah, yeah,
that's right. Yeah, that's funny. They're they're they're my biggest cheerleaders here,
which is really kind of their They'rereally cool. So it's a good
little supportive group of friends that I'vedeveloped while I'm also alienating and making plenty
of enemies in our community. Aswell at the same time not to press

(08:00):
on our Slack group. Yeah,uh, you know, we have a
for for Tulsa remote. There's agiant Slack group with a bunch of channels,
like a buy cell channel, ona local things to do, et
cetera, you know, meeting outit. There's a bunch of channels,
and I subscribe to you know,most of them because there's always interesting things.
But the buy sell one, Ihave notifications turned on because sometimes someone's
like selling something like I bought aPlayStation five for really cheap because someone posted

(08:22):
it and I was the first personto reply. He's like, I'm just
trying to get rid of it twohundred bucks. You know, it usually
goes for five hundred, so likeI bought it immediately, right, and
the first one to respond is probablygoing to get the item too. Yeah,
exactly exactly. So I have notificationson for that. And there's there's
this one user who will post,like in one day, maybe thirty posts,
all with like one item at atime that that they're selling, and

(08:46):
it's it's it gets very obnoxious becausemy phonees go off. It's like every
three minutes she posts something new,and people apparently in the past that suggested
that maybe she should put it inone thread, like make one post and
then you can thread it, youknow, when you click on the p
and then there's a whole all thecomments uneath and post everything under there and
that way, or or compile everythinginto one like garage sale type post so
you can just look at one postand see everything that she has. And

(09:09):
she just kind of like shrugs heryou know, it's like, no,
I'm not going to do that.And I didn't know that. I didn't
know this part too later, soI commented when she started posting the other
day and I was like, hey, you know, you can just thread
these right or I said, orif you don't like threads, maybe we
could just create a whole channel foryou. That's just like you know that,
you know, like your your yourpersonal garage sale channel, so it
has all your stuff. And shewas just like, no, I've heard
that before. I'm not going todo that. Thanks though, and it

(09:31):
was it was kind of like,you know, it was a little a
little bit rude, like I was, I was nice. I was just
making a suggestion, yeah, andthen I got attacked by the community and
it was crazy there was just thishandful of people who were like, why
are you so toxic or you know, go be controlling somewhere else, and
like some another guy commented, Idon't I don't know. There was another
guy named Adam who commented and said, yeah, I agree with him.

(09:52):
Actually it is very it's very spammyjust to get these constant things. And
someone else was like, well,maybe the atoms should go start their own,
you know, toxic men channel somethinglike that. Yes, I know.
I was like, do you knowwhat? Yeah, me making a
simple suggestion that I was just like, I was like, you know,
you can do this right, becauseI didn't know that she'd been asked multiple
times before, by the way,and just rejected everybody's suggestion. I didn't

(10:18):
know that. I am sorry Imissed that conversation, you know, but
apparently everybody else was just like,no, we want to see all over
individual posts and I don't know why. It's not any more difficult to search
through. So anyways, turn intothis whole thing where the little legitimate someone
had to get the administrated the moderationto come in, and the TULSA remote
team came in and had to lockthe thread and then they went and they

(10:41):
deleted all of like the hateful commentsfrom other people. They sent me a
message and they were just like,hey, just want to let you Yeah.
They sent message, said, hey, you want to let you know
that we you know, like wesaw this and we're locking and just want
to make sure that you know weappreciate you giving your opinion. And you
know, we deleted comments under yourbut it wasn't because of what you said.
Is because of the things people weresaying. And I was like,
yeah, it didn't really feel representativeof the community you're trying to build here
at Tulsa Remote and then and theysaid, yeah, we know. And

(11:05):
so then I had actually privately submitteda request to them that the actual Slack
rules for these channels say that onlyone post per day. I said,
so I think you should start forcingthat rule or do a poll to see
what all the users want. Anduh. And so today, I don't
know, I didn't tell you this. Today I won because they posted in
there and said, we're just gonnalet you know that at least for the

(11:26):
rest of this week, until wefigure out a policy, there's only allowed
one post per day per user.In the Bicell channel. Damn Yeah,
I fucking win. And do youwant to know that? This is the
insane part. There's like four peoplewho commented on that thread and said,
I hereby give up my one freespeech post to us to this, to

(11:48):
this, to this user who spamsuh if if she wants to use it
to post additional things. Wow,these people suck. Yeah, I'm like,
what kind of weird cult is this? Like the cult of this one
woman who's selling shit on the slackLike, I don't understand that is she
selling? I mean it's it's it'snormal stuff and like with normal prices,

(12:13):
it's not like you know, theysay that it's because she's been moving,
like she's moving and so she's sellingeverything she owns. But apparently she's been
doing this for over six months.So I'm sorry. If you're selling one
thing at a time, isn't takeyou six months to sell everything you own?
Or is she going garage saling andthen reselling this to make to make
money in the in the slack channel, which is what I think it actually

(12:35):
is. Why wouldn't she do thaton like a reseller channel like Facebook,
Marketplace or something. She might bedoing that too, you know, but
I don't know, but maybe theyhave more rules and she doesn't like the
rules, and so here she canjust do what other fuck she wants because
she has this these weird cult acolyteswho are like I hereby give up my
free They're literally calling it their freespeech post. It is insane. You
are in also Oklahoma. Just areminder, person, but no in the

(13:00):
slack Tree was from Tulsa. That'sthe thing. Keep in mind, that's
all people who have moved here.I know, but that's what they're looking
for. They want their free speechand freedom when they move to a good
old red state in the middle ofthe fucking country. Yeah. I would
say that most people are pretty thisis a pretty progressive group, Like generally
speaking, they they do they keepit pretty progressive. But yeah, there's
some of that in there. It'sit's also just I don't know, there's

(13:20):
and and I hesitate that there's there'sa there's a select group of people I
think who got came to this communitywho I don't know how they function as
actual adults, Like they they treatlike the Slack Channel like their personal Google,
Like, hey, can does anybodyknow a barber? Like that's what
Google's for, like look up reviewslike like how would you make an adult

(13:41):
decision without the Slack channel? Youknow, like these are people with Facebook
groups, though in different areas theydo or in next door like based the
simple who I feel like would bejust if any any any user I feel
like would be at home on thenext door app, Like I don't know
how they function, and I thinksometimes it's just it's I don't know,
it's obnoxious. But I don't knowthose people, so I'm okay with that.

(14:03):
I'll live anyways. And so thisis in this week's This week's a
busy weeks. I'm trying to geta lot of work done because I have
a friend coming in Friday from Orlando, and yes, downfallow is that she
doesn't drink. So my normal thingof hey, let me show you all
the cool dive bars in town thatI will do when Lisa's here does not
really play, but she doesn't carryand good restaurant. Yeah, let me

(14:26):
let me drive by a park andshow it to you, Like that's the
extent of a park. What doyou structures? Is what stuff to look
at? I don't know, areyou talking about playgrounds? I don't understand
what what structures like a stat statuesof things or other things within the park.
Not a playground. I'm thinking moreof a botanical garden or some kind

(14:48):
of I know they have a reallygood one, an't There's a yes,
there there is a garden here,So that's that's one potential thing. There's
apparently a good zoo here, andI think you can drive like an hour
north and I think there's buffalo andstuff. So yeah, but I'm gonna
have that means touristy things. Andnow I'm gonna have to do touristy things.
That's what happens when people come tovisit you and you live in a
city they've ever been to. That'swhat I'm going to do all summer long

(15:11):
when all my friends and family visits, Like, I'm gonna go to the
fucking space you know, three timesthis summer because that's what they want to
do, and take me to thespace need when I was there. You
don't want to fucking go number one, that's true. I have no give
a ship. I know you like, let's go to a dive bar and
take green tea shots. That's whatyou prefer to do. I know that

(15:35):
we had a great time too,did I'm not. I'm not discrediting it
by any means. I'm just sayingit's a different it's a different vibe with
you. I'm also open to myfriends. She's here to see me,
not Telsa too, so like beable to like, you know, spend
time and just like catch up andeverything. And she's only here for like
forty eight hours. It's a whirldwoodtrip. So luckily I told her not
to expect it to be as actionpacked at some of her trips. I

(15:56):
see her go somewhere for like ashort trip and it's like she's every five
minutes she's at a new location doingsomething new, and I'm like, that's
not going to be this. Idon't I don't operate like that. But
I'm looking forward to I'm looking forwardto singer. That'll be great. Nice.
So what's going on in your world? I mean in Arginzuela. I'm
in Argentina. I'm based right nowin Buenos Aires, and I always mispronounced

(16:21):
that because I want to just sayBuenos Aires. But that's not that's the
the uncultured americanized. Yet I justdon't have like the Spanish flair to anything
that I say. I also cannotspeak Spanish here at all. I understand
Spanish, but just the pronunciation hereis very different, Like double r's is

(16:45):
a different sound here versus other placesdouble l's like that, it's not the
sound or whatever. I don't believeand you know what, it's double l's
has an okay interesting which really Yeah, listening to it on the sub way
into town here and that was like, wait, did they mispronounce that?
And no, that's just how it'spronounced here. So there's there's little things

(17:07):
here and there. But so farit's been good seeing a tango. I
heard I heard your speak Spanish atthe shop of the day when we were
on the phone together. What doyou think it was? Poor? Piss
poor, but that's what you wereyou going to pay or something like that
or yeah, I just told herI needed a bag for my Yeah.
Yeah, it wasn't bad. Youseem pretty comfortable doing it, so that
was good. I mean, Ihave seven or eight phrases I use everywhere

(17:30):
I go, and those are theones I'm like, If it goes outside
of that, I'm fucked. Soyou saw tango. We went to a
tango show the first full week Iwas here, which is really fun.
The culture shock I would I wouldsay is that everything is open very late
and dinner places open at eight pm, so they're typically closed from four to

(17:56):
seven thirty and then they're getting readyfor the dinner which starts it eight.
So I've had to adjust when Ihave lunch and I start work at ten,
so my lunch is now like twoo'clock in the afternoon. That way,
I'm not starving by the time placesopen up for dinner at eight o'clock.
You gotta love a country that supportsthe siesta, like I really do
support that, that four to sevennap. Yeah, you know, that's

(18:18):
that's a genius, genius thing thatI wish every country did. Every country
should do it. It's great,except for if you're starving at four o'clock
and there's nothing open, then it'snot great. But it's been there.
Are there any americanized places open?Like? Are there americanized Like? I
mean, there's a McDonald's. Yeah, there's McDonald's. I don't really want
to go to McDonald's when I travel, though, if I'm in a pinch,
i will. Yeah, your friendfry or something, you know,

(18:41):
just just take tide you over fordinner. Well, I go to the
grocery store and buy stuff. How'sthe food? Food is good? You
know, they're they're known for steak, and I don't need steak. But
I didn't realize there was such anattend really. Yeah, so Argentinian steaks
are a big thing. And obviouslyred wine from the Mendoza region of the
country, so those are two bigthings. But I drink wine, but

(19:04):
I don't eat the red meat.But there is actually a really strong Italian
influence in the city, so Ifeel like I've been eating a lot of
pizza pasa, just Italian food,which has been really good. But it
was funny because I was reading reviewsof just people visiting Argentina and they said
the food sucked, and I disagree. I've struggled in other places. I
don't struggle here. This is totallyfine. So that's great. Yeah,

(19:29):
I can't complain. Oh yeah,I can can't complain. There's nothing you
want to complain about, and Ican't complain about the food. Now I
can't complain about other things. Iknow where you're going with this, because
I've complained to you earlier. Butour airbnb where we're staying at right now
has roaches, And anyone who's beena listener in twenty twenty knows when my
apartment had a roach problem and noone believed me, and then I had

(19:51):
to collect all the roaches and giveit to the leasing office and say,
do you see these thirty fucking roachesin a bag? They're here. That's
kind of what we're dealing with atthis apartment. But I think it's we're
higher up in the building, soI think it's a building problem, not
just to this unit problem, becausewe're we're on the thirteenth floor, which

(20:11):
is unlucky, but you know whatever, and I think it has to be
something with just they're climbing up anddown the water pipes or whatever. So
it's mostly isolated to the kitchen.But we had a guy come through and
he said that he didn't see anyroaches, so the problem must not exist,
which is the same gas lighting bullshitI got back when I lived in

(20:33):
Nashville. So now my roommate andI are taking photos of the roaches that
we kill, and we talked tothem again and said this is unacceptable and
we want some kind of discount orsomething, because this is not what we
signed up for. We wanted touse the kitchen for cooking, and now
we just heat up meals with themicrowave because we don't really want to cook
when there's fucking roaches. So that'sbeen fun. Yeah, I mean,

(20:56):
I feel like with airbnb, youknow, they can lower the price fas
on the number a number of occupants, and so you can just say that
there's obviously a dozen other occupants livingin the view, surely you're paying only
paying a much smaller amount per dayobviously, right, I mean, we're
not paying a whole lot for thisplace for the month. But it's still
the principle of we're sleeping somewhere andthere's a roach problem, and there was

(21:18):
a roach in my bathroom and it'salmostly. Cooking is fine though, because
like you know, clean your potsand pants before you use them, and
then when you're cooking, they're notgonna have a roach to pop out of
your food or anything, I know. But it's still when you come home
at the end of the night andflick on the light in the kitchen and
they scurry, not a great feeling. I don't know, it's just and
the PTSD from my experience of aroach falling from the ceiling on me in

(21:41):
my bed is traumatizing and I don'tthink I'll ever get over that. So
and I scream every time I haveto kill a roach. And that's just
how it is. That's why I'vealways been so supportive of you in that
case. And I've never done anythingat all to try to make that worse.
What do you mean you with theroaches. I've always been so supportive
and you know, never never triedto uh oh yeah, like yeah,

(22:02):
because you bought me that fucking roachpillow like an asshole, the giant like
it was like a four foot sizeroach pillow, and I immediately threw it
away. I was so but Ijust got to I got to just get
to watch you on video open it. That was the best part of just
watching you open it. That wasworth the cost of shipping it. You
just have that happened. I forgotabout that. Always remember that. Uh

(22:26):
I still have that video somewhere.I should It's on our Instagram. Oh
okay, there we go. Youmade me, You made me Instagram?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, wedid it. We did it on zoom.
Yeah, that's when it was recorded, and so we could have proof
of you opening a giant roach thatwas showing support. I figure, if
you had a bigger roach on yourside than the other roaches, we get

(22:47):
line, you know, because thenyou're like, you have the boss roach
on your side. Can you tellI'm still annoyed that you did that.
I can tell you're still annoying.It's so funny. That was three years
ago. So stupid, I know. So how's asking a roy Have you
talked so much? Honestly, notreally, because he's been with your schedules.

(23:10):
Well, so I'm four hours ahead, which isn't the end of the
world, because by the time Igo to sleep at midnight, it's you
know, eight o'clock there, andhe's done with work. But recently he's
been working so damn much that heinvested you today and said, I'm actually
really be lucky or happy that you'renot here because I've just been working the
entire time till eight o'clock night o'clockat night, and he works. He

(23:33):
starts to work at seven in themorning, so and you know, you
know me, I turned off everythingpast my working hours and work is dead.
To me until the next morning,and that's just not how he operates.
So and it does annoy me whenI'm like, TikTok, bitch,
turn off your fucking computer. Let'sgo watch a TV show, go on
a walk, do anything else.So happy I'm not home to right.

(23:55):
I was using you as an exampleof the day because I had I had
a friend over where watched She hadnever seen Burnham stuff, and I wanted
to show it to her, sowe watched his two most recent specials because
I thought you'd appreciate it. Butshe was talking about how terrible, terrible
work has been and she's been workingin so many of late hours and all
these things, and I'm like,but are you, Like, what's your
actual your schedule supposed to be?You know, said, well, it's

(24:15):
supposed to be you know, ninenine to you know, nine to six
is what it's supposed to be.I said, then at six, turn
off your computers. Like, butlike, there's the work's not gonna get
done because they're just they keep addingmore work to it. And I said,
that's their fault for managing things wrongand for you know, and I
said, and I never I wasalways a type who worked, you know,
continuously in all the ways and overthe you know. But but I
said, but Sarah has always setan example that's always impressed me, where

(24:38):
she's like, I'm getting paid forthis amount of work and I'm doing this
amount of work. If if,if there's a workload, that's because you
guys aren't managing it properly. Andand I was telling her just like you
know, and she goes, well, you know what, it's funny because
the men in my department have noproblem doing that. And I was like,
well, then you should also beable to just turn it off,
you know, like yeah, andyou know, and I think she's worried

(25:00):
about like potentially being fired or somethinglike that, and I'm like, no,
you just have to have a toughconversation with them and say, look,
my work is not getting done becausethere is too much fucking work for
one person to do. You eitherneed to cut my workload and give it
to somebody else, or hire twomore people, or I don't know,
solve the problem another way. ButI'm not working twelve hours a day or
even ten hours or yeah, no, no, yeah, But she's been

(25:22):
like in since it's been insane,and you know it's just crazy, so
but yeah, I was using itas an example, and I was like,
that's one thing that I've always beenso impressed with from like day one,
is that your ability just to belike, oh, five o'clock,
I'm done till fuck fuck you tilltomorrow. I appreciate that. Yeah,
every day, that's me. That'show people should treat their job because companies

(25:44):
don't treat them with any loyalty,So why why should you go above and
beyond like that? You know,there's no reason to well, And the
times where I used to go aboveand beyond, I was stressed. I
had fucking panic attacks. I hatedmy job, but it was we're keeping
me paid. I don't and havethe same thing, worried about getting fied.
I think a lot of it stemsfrom poor management. If you have
a manager who trusts you, whounderstands how to organize workloads and just communicate

(26:08):
with their employees, you won't feelthe need to work more than the hours
you're supposed to work, right,But yeah, toxic managers will fuck everything
up. Yeah, it sounds likeour managers is awful, So I think
that's a big part of it.Yeah, that's unfortunately. Yeah, anyways,
thought i'd bring it up, butI know there's one last thing you
were going to talk about, andthat was today's conversation that you I know,

(26:29):
so much has happened. We're already, you know, thirty minutes through
and so much has happened. Butwhile I was actually working at a cafe
today, there was a couple whosat behind me, and the guy immediately
started complaining about how cold it isin Argentina, which it was in the
sixties and sunny. It's not terrible, but it is fall here. We're,
you know, the southern Hemisphere.And he kept saying, yeah,

(26:53):
let's book a flight for Germany tomorrowand just get out of Argentina to the
woman that he was with, andshe was Colombian and he was from the
United States, and he's like,yeah, we should just book a flight
to Germany tomorrow, kept saying it, and she was like, well,
what about Brazil though it's closer,it is warmer in Brazil. He's like,
well, how about you check tosee if Colombians can travel to Germany.

(27:15):
I'll buy your flight and we'll goto Germany tomorrow. Just so matter
of fact about it. So I'mlistening, I'm like, what the fuck
is going on here? This isweird. So he orders some food or
whatever, and he's of his messagingin our group chet because the other two
people in my group were sitting around, but I was like, can you

(27:36):
hear this guy talking? He seemslike such an asshole. I bet he
has a punishable face. And they'relike, yeah, he does have a
punchable face. He's like, Ifucking knew it, but I can't turn
around to see what he looks likeright now. So apparently they were looking
at him, and he had somegambling app on his phone, and then
he was complaining that his teams aren'tdoing well and he can't optimize the app
to make enough money. He's like, yeah, I just want to make
more money, make more money.He said it full of times. And

(28:00):
every time he would talk to thewoman who is obviously she she was speaking
Spanish. He would speak to herin Spanish, she would respond back in
Spanish, and then he would gowhat what what, to the point where
she had to respond in English,and then they would have a conversation in
English, and then two seconds laterhe would speak to her again in Spanish.

(28:21):
Do the what what what thing again, and she would respond to him
in English. It was really fuckingbizarre. And then just the way he
was eating his food. I guesshe had like he got a coffee or
latte or whatever and like put hisfinger and ran his finger around the rim
and then like licked it. Idon't know, it's just like but the
conversation itself was just the audacity ofhim telling her we'll I'll pay for it,

(28:45):
we'll all figure it out. Well, you figure out if Colombians can
even travel to Germany. And thenhe's like, well, we can't be
in Germany too long because I haveto go back to the United States before
I figure out the rest of mytravel plans, and just kind of talking
down to her the entire time.And I didn't like. I didn't like
the vibe. And immediately I knewhe was a passport bro. Yeah,
yeah, you should. You shouldhave called him one. I mean,

(29:08):
what was it any passport bros inhere? I don't like those awkward confrontations
though. I just had. Youknow, I'm typing doing work, but
I have my ear to the backwall where he's sitting, trying to hear
everything. He says, and justhis vibe and his tone was just such
a dick. Yeah, I couldjust tell it was a dick. It

(29:30):
sounds like it, yeah, Jesus. Yeah. And our Passport Bros.
Video on YouTube, the commenters haveproven exactly who they are. Like they're
always like, you've got it allwrong, and then they go and say
exactly what we what we say it, which is so funny. I'm like,
yeah, thanks for proving our pointthere, dipshit. Well yeah,
it was like not to say,like Colombia is a dead giveaway, but

(29:52):
he's with a Colombian woman and sayingall, I'll pay for this thing,
and then every time tries to speakSpanish, like gets annoyed that he can't
understand her and the reverts to English. Just the audacity of the entire situation.
But yeah, you should have goneto and said, hey, can
I ask you do you know whatspent? What Spanish is for skid mark?

(30:12):
That's many insult for people skid mark. And by the way, I
like that. Yeah, and withoutsaying anything else, just as she says,
oh thank you, I'm just wondering. And it had nothing just a
relation to something I overheard just mademe think of, think of that,
I should do that in all theconversations though, even people that who don't
speak Spanish. Do you have KalmaCity say skid mark, Koma City say

(30:34):
crusty asked loser. All right,well, let's go ahead and take a
quick break. When we come back, we do have a call from our
DKs hotline while there is a breakgoing. That would be a perfect time
actually for you to call the hotlineat four oh seven five one nine zero

(30:55):
one eight one and leave a voicemailwith something you're wondering to dating relationships,
Yeah, like anything, just howwe feel about the Drake Kendrick. Uh
my god, when would you everbring up a Drake and Kendrick anything?
Everybody keeps talking, I know,everybody keeps talking about it to me like

(31:17):
it's it's it's all like random peopleare like, yeah, it was just
it's everywhere and it's annoying me.But so if you want to hear how
you actually feel about it, youcan ask let's talk about Macklemore song instead.
Let's not talk there, we goYeah, Hen's tall song instead?
And how knew that? Who knewthat he actually had had some talent in
him? Oh come on, Soyeah, call four oh seven five one

(31:41):
nine zero one eight one and leavea voicemail with a question, and you
have plenty of time during this nextbreak and we'll be right back. All
right, Well, we have avoicemail from a listener, and as I
mentioned at the beginning of this episode, we are running out of calls from
listeners, and as the year ofthe listener, that's kind of sad.

(32:01):
So be sure to call our dCashotline if you didn't already call during the
break at four zero seven five onenine zero one eight one, or you
can email us at Dating Kind OfSex Podcast at gmail dot com with your
questions, concerns, anything, andwe will play this voicemail and then be
right back. I got out ofa relationship in August, and when the

(32:25):
relationship ended, we both kind ofblamed the other person and said the other
person was more at fault than ourselves. She said I was completely at fault
and she was completely innocent, andI felt like I was somewhat at fault,
but she was much more at fault. And that was the first time

(32:49):
that I really started to think thatmaybe she didn't have the best judgment and
I couldn't trust her anymore. Andeveryone that I explained the relation the situation
too agreed with me, but theywere my friends and family and much more

(33:10):
likely to agree with me. AndI texted her therapist, and her therapist
didn't take size, but her therapistsaid that I definitely wasn't illusional, and
I guess it's just hard to figurethat out myself and look at it clearly,

(33:31):
because one of us clearly wasn't seeinga situation correctly, and Helena,
that's not me. And there wasa scenario early in the relationship where she
was yelling at me and I wasdriving and I had a total meltdown and

(33:51):
I parked the car and ran away. And she wouldn't really talk about the
situation afterwards, and I really feltlike I needed to. She wouldn't admit
any fault in it, and thatwas hard, but it was just a
bumps in the relationship and I feltlike we somewhat got over it. But
about a year later, same sortof things going on. She's yelling at

(34:15):
me the top of her lungs,and I asked her, you know,
I please have this conversation at anormal level, and she wouldn't do that,
and this time when I had ameltdown, instead of running away,
I had that in my head,don't run away, And I puned a
very large home wall and screamed ather at the top of my lungs.
And I was ultimately the end ofthe relationship. But I guess it's just

(34:45):
hard because I did a lot wrongthere, but she also did a lot
wrong from her perspective. Everyone yellsat each other, and if you're going
to freak out and punch holes inthe wall and park your car in the

(35:06):
middle of the road, then you'redefinitely at fault. And all right,
well, this is an interesting one. Yeah, it's a lot. This
is a lot. I'm gonna tryto tread carefully here because I don't know
the whole situation. I'm going totake you at your word that your ex
girlfriend acted in the way that yousaid she did, because I don't necessarily

(35:30):
know how much of it is istrue or not. I'm going to say
that let's just say it's true.Even with it being true, she's obviously
having some toxic behavior, but itsounds like she's reacting maybe in that way
because of you, like because ofhow you present yourself. Just from the
way that you leave this voicemail,it sounds like maybe I don't know,

(35:53):
do you maybe not have a lotof emotion except when all of a sudden
you explode with things. Are youcommunicative? Do you actually listen? Or
is it something where she's been feltlike she's talking in a wall all the
time, and so she finally blowsup and then your reaction is like,
for example, to stop the carin the middle of nowhere and just get
out of the car and walk away, or subsequently punch a hole in the

(36:17):
wall, like those are not?Those are not. That's not the behavior
as someone who is emotionally healthy andemotionally sound. So I would say that
regardless of what she's done, youhave a lot to work on in your
interpersonal relationship skills, your communication skillsbefore you're someone who might be in a

(36:37):
good place to be in a relationshipwith someone else. And if she has
some issues, But I'm also wonderingif we talked to her, would she
say that she had been trying totell you things for a long time and
that you weren't acknowledging it, oryou weren't reacting in any type of emotional
way. And she felt like maybeshe was talking to someone who didn't care
and she had to escalate it emotionallyto even get any reaction. And instead

(36:59):
of any reaction, you overreacted.So that's that's that's how I feel.
So I'm not saying that like thatshe's not toxic. She might be,
but I am saying that even basedon the way you're describing everything, you
have a lot to work on.I'm not saying you're toxic, but I'm
saying you definitely have it, likeI would say, issues before you should
try to engage another relationship. Andone other thing I want to say too,
is the idea that you would texther therapist is a huge violation of

(37:23):
boundaries. That's a I mean thatthat is not okay. A therapist is
someone you have a safe place forthat person to talk to. You don't.
You're not trying to get people onyour side. That's not what this
is about. Not a relationship.Relationship is not about you know, getting
people on everyone side and who's goingto win. It's about you and the
other person only. And so textingtherapist shows me that maybe you just haven't

(37:45):
and I don't know if it's anemotional maturity or what. But you're you're
not at the stage where maybe youshould be in a relationship with anyone for
a while until you work on yourself. Yeah, I agree with you,
And my whole thought was, atthe end of the day, does it
matter who was right or wrong?Just knowing that the communication style or whatever
happened didn't make for a good relationship. Can we move past that? Why

(38:08):
are we needing to dwell on thefact of, well, she was wrong
in what she did and I knowthat I was wrong, but she doesn't
want to admit it, and who'smore wrong? At the end of the
day, does it matter? You'renot a couple anymore. You don't need
to worry about that. I thinkworking on the next steps of improving your
communication style, being in a goodheadspace for a next relationship further down the

(38:30):
road, working on yourself, goingto therapy for your problems, instead of
dwelling on this past situation. Idon't think it was the healthiest situation to
be in for both people who careswho was right or wrong in whatever situation
that transpired. Yeah. The otherthing I would say, too, is
that you know it's important to kindof have a little empathy in the situation

(38:52):
and put yourself in her shoes,and even with you what you're saying,
if she's been trying to, youknow, get you to communicate, and
you're like, she's she's obviously escalatingand you're saying, hey, can we
please have this in a normal,you know, tone of like normal,
normal tone, normal volume, Butshe's not. That's not what matters her.
She's obviously upset. And then whenyour reaction is something violent like getting

(39:13):
out of the car is one thing, but punching a hole wall, what
if next time it was her?What if you just what if you decided
to hit her next And so youknow, that's that's an escalation that is
pretty unacceptable for a relationship. Soit's not a surprised that the relationship,
you know, was immediately over afterthat, because you you showed yourself not
to be someone who's safe, andI think that maybe you should work on

(39:35):
how you can be a safe person, how you can be someone who actually
you know, likes yourself, becauseI feel like in the way that you
kind of even talk and maybe yourtone, you don't really sound like you're
sure about yourself either, And soyou know, maybe focus on self esteem
and confidence so that then you havethe ability to you know, be the
better person in situations like that,if you are with someone who's toxic,

(39:58):
where you can de escalate thing insteadof making them worse. Yeah, I
agree with that. Thank you forthe call. It was a yeah,
thank you for the call of Sharon, you know, yeah, yeah,
it sounds like it's very tough.And then hopefully you know, and I
know that you left this voicemail backin November, so we are you know,
sorry that we're very delayed. Yeah, you know, we had delayed
in getting through everything, but youknow, hopefully by now, maybe it's

(40:22):
been six months, maybe things haveimproved for you. But if not,
I hope they do soon. Andif anyone has any anything else, I
want to get some feedback on goahad and give us a call four oh
seven five one nine zero one eightone or email. So Dating kind of
Sucks podcast at gmail dot com.We are going to take another break and
when we come back, it's timefor What to See with Sarah g in

(40:43):
Guazuo Falls. So, as wetalked about earlier, I am in Argentina.
So this week's What to See isa place actually located in Argentina and
Brazil, which is a Guazu Falls. It's also called in Spanish kataratas they
guazu basically just a lot of water. So together the two sides of the

(41:05):
falls make up the largest waterfall systemin the world. And as was explaining
it to my family, I wassaying, this is like the Niagara Falls
of South America. I've never beento Niagara Falls before, but they understood
that. When you know, they'relike, is it just a single waterfall,
I'm like, no, this isfucking massive. But since most of
the falls are on the Argentina side, we just decided to stick on that

(41:28):
side of everything. We didn't dogreat planning. We thought the Brazilian visa
process was actually going to be implementedin April of this year, but then
they pushed it back. So wecould have done both the Argentina and Brazil
side and you know, seen bothviews, but we just stayed on the
Argentina side. There is in aGuazu on the Argentina side a little town

(41:50):
that you can visit, and youknow, it's pretty touristy as far as
there's some decent restaurants and nice placesto stay, but that's not really why
people are there. They're there tosee the falls, so it's more of
a fun weekend trip. If you'rein the area outside of the falls,
you can visit the point where Argentina, Brazil, and Paraguay are and you

(42:12):
can look over the water and seethe other two countries from the one place
you're standing, or you can goon to the Brazil side and see the
other two countries. We did that, but again kind of a tourist trap
with a couple of little shops andthings like that. So we hopped on
one of the boats and just diddown the river and we were in three
places at once, in the middleof all three spots as like a river

(42:32):
boat cruise thing, and that wasfine for an evening when we first got
there. But if you are reallywanting to experience the falls, it's twenty
dollars to get in on the Argentinaside and you can hike the trails that
they have there. They have theSuperior and inferior trails. They also had
the Devil's Throat trail, but that'sclosed because they had a huge rainstorm last

(42:54):
year and it destroyed the trail.Itself, so they're having to rebuild that
right now. So of the twotrails, you can get really amazing views
and they're very different views of thefalls just from those. But I think
the best thing to do is opto spend sixty dollars instead of just the
twenty to enter, spend sixty plusthe twenty and take the boat ride into

(43:16):
the falls. So what that entailsis you suit up in your life your
life vest. They have bags soall of your stuff stays dry. You'll
need if you want to take photosand stuff. You'll need a plastic container
for your phone if you want tokeep it out the entire time. But
they literally bring you down the riverinto where the falls are. They show

(43:37):
you from the boat the Argentina side, the Brazil side, and then they
basically tell you, okay, putall your shit away. You may get
wet, and you don't just getwet, it's just your standing and water.
People are joking like you kind ofjust get waterboarded for a couple of
minutes. I didn't really notice thestress of being under the falls and not

(43:57):
feeling like I could breathe, butmy one friend did, and she you
got a little worried and then theypulled us out. But you are under
the water for not under the water, but like under the falls for a
decent amount of time, and itis such a fun rush and then you
head back out after. It's nota huge, huge tour, but I
do think it is worth it,and you get a lot of the panoramic
views that I think you might seefrom the Brazil side as well, since

(44:17):
you're further back. But that wasthe coolest thing that we did, and
I highly recommend that. But yeah, that's very unique experience, something that
wasn't really on my radar or bucketlist, and I'm really happy that I
did it. So if you're abig fan of nature and doing something different,
I don't know if it's the sameas Niagara Falls or not. I

(44:39):
think you know, the boat thingand getting wet under the falls is something
that both of them do, butthis is just so much more tree coverage
and the trails and all of theanimals like tucans and katia and monkeys are
around, so you get more ofthe tropical environment in the National Park side
of the Argentina side. But it'sfunny that you say that, because I

(45:02):
was just reading something about some talkingabout how beautiful the Canadian side of Niagara
Falls is compared to the US side. Yeah, like in the Canadian side
is all like it's a they havelike the little shops and it's a whole
event, and it's a whole,this big thing. And then Buffalo has
just fucked it up so much thatit's a rat hole and it's just literally
just it's just nothing worth it.And so like you know, the thing

(45:23):
to go see. I mean,obviously the falls. You can still see
the falls, but they haven't madeit into a thing, whereas like Canada's
managed to make it into like anactual, like you know, event worth
going to. Yeah, so doesanybody go over these falls and barrels?
Nobody? I mean you'll die.Yeah, wouldn't you die in Niagara too?
Yeah? People survived really, Yeah, it would go over because there's

(45:45):
no rocks, right I think Idon't think there's rocks right at the bottom.
It's just water. So when theyas long as they made it down,
okay, then they they would reallyget out of the rail one.
No, not these falls. There'sno way in hell. I mean,
so the superior side of the trail, you're standing on top of the rushing
water, and there's points where you'reright on the edge just watching the water
go over, and I'm like,what happens if this metal thing I'm standing

(46:07):
on just fucking breaks and I getswept up and I die, you know,
I just interestive thoughts took over it. I didn't really like standing in
certain areas just because of that.I mean, you wouldn't necessary less unless
it lands on rock. You're notgonna dive if it lands in water,
and then you have a chance ofbeing able to, you know, swim.
I don't want to. That's ahuge fall though. Oh yeah,

(46:30):
yeah, I don't know, youknow, so that's still yeah. I
mean you probably still get knock unconsciousand whatever and then drowned from all the
water piling of those divers that dothose to long, those tall dives all
and you know, they like divehundreds of features, trained professionals, not
just someone who happens to die ina free you know, freak accident happening.

(46:50):
But it's true. Yeah, youdon't have to go on that side
of the falls if it makes youanxious, for sure, But I do
think it's it's worth visiting, andI wish. I wish I would have
known about the visa thing for theArgentina or the Brazil side, because what
do you mean with Can you explainthat to me? Is like, I
what does that mean? So?United States citizens have to get a visa
to enter Brazil, but you haveto apply for that visa x amount of

(47:14):
you know, thirty to ninety daysbefore it's probably like sixty to ninety days
before your time of travel, andget approved and it's an eighty dollars cost
for that visa. They've always hadthat, but because of the pandemic,
they lifted that to allow more visitorsin and now in twenty twenty five,
they're putting that visa restriction back onUnited States citizens. Where my friend who's

(47:34):
Mexican, she has a Mexican passport. She was like, oh, well,
I don't have a US visa toenter Brazil, but I'll just use
my Mexican passport. So that's whatshe was going to do. And then
they decided to go to the Brazilside, not to see the falls,
but just to see the point fromArgentina and Paraguay, and the border patrol
just laughed at them and said,oh you don't need a visa to enter
Brazil. The government pushed it backa year, which pissed us off because

(47:58):
we could have spent our whole lastday doing something differently. But the websites
we were checking at the time,we're all saying April twelfth, twenty twenty
four, is when the visa programstarts again. So they had just pushed
it back to April twenty twenty five. So if you're going in the next
year, you'll be fine and youwon't need a visa as a United States
citizen, but yeah, to enterthat side of the country, you will
need it eventually if you're a UScitizen. I don't know other countries,

(48:21):
but yeah, and the Brazil side, of course, my Brazilian friends just
kept messing me, you have togo to the Brazil side. It's the
better side, but there's not youget up close sides or views on the
Argentina side, and the panoramic viewson the Brazil side, which is fine,
Like both are good. And afterbeing at the park, honestly for
five or six hours, I've seenthe falls every fucking angle, basically from

(48:45):
the boat, from further from theboat, from up close to on top
to underneath, so it would coolthe window wall. Yeah yeah, So
did I really need to go tothe Brazil side. It would have been
cool if I would have planned it, but I don't think it was the
make or break end of the worldexperience for me to go over there,
given that we fucked up the planning. So right, right, right?

(49:07):
Cool? Well then yeah, that'sgreat. I think that sounds really really
fun. Yeah, it's cool.Some something else to add to the list.
Add to the list, Adam,go to South America and start checking
all the boxes. That's right,all right, We're gonna go ahead and
take take another break, our lastbreak, and then we come back.
We're going to get into the topictalking about the bumble fumble. So,

(49:29):
Adam, I love that we arefortune tellers. Now we can see into
the future. Our predictions are rightwhere people should really listen to us because
we know what we're talking about.After our four B Movement podcast episode where
we talked about what the four b'sare for the US, and we said
berths, betrothals, banging, andthen we needed a fourth one for dating,

(49:52):
and we're struggling to come up withit, and I said bumble,
And it really is now everyone's cancelingBumble after what just happened. Yeah,
and and and then the four Bmovement is going going strong in the US
right now. It starts to takenoff, and I think Bumble like was
a self fulfilled prophecy on their part. They're like, all right, let's
just let's do our part, becauseit is kind of tied to it.

(50:15):
So if you if you're, ifyou're, if you haven't you know,
not paying attention, which makes sense, and it's weird. I haven't seen
until like the last day or so. Not a lot of places has been
talking about this. It's been primarilyon social media, like on TikTok and
really the news. Yeah, becauseif you're not aware, so that like
Tinder's Tinder slogan is like it allstarts with a swipe and and hinges,

(50:37):
you know, slogan is designed tobe deleted. All the whinges. Slogan
might also be fuck dating kind ofsucks. We're going to create a podcast
called dating and which any research,yeah, sends for a dating platform.
But that goes back to like hingestarting a podcast called dating sucks. I'm
like, do not understand your targetmarket and what they're trying trying to accomplish

(51:00):
and their problems. So then Bumblecomes up with their bullshit. That's a
yeah, so that's a whole otherstory. But yeah, so yeah,
hind just you know, designed tobe deleted. And Bumble's new slogan,
apparently, from what I can understand, is don't you fucking dare be celibate,
you bitch? Like that's really that'swhat it sounds like because they they
have decided to attack. Their newmarketing strategy has been to attack women who

(51:22):
are not jumping into bed with men. Yeah. Well, and all of
a sudden, they went from womenmake the first move to yeah, let's
attack women for wanting to be celibateand not be with men in general.
Yeah, it's like, women,it's your move, and that move better
be jumping on that dick, iswhat they're saying basically. Right, So,

(51:43):
for those of you who haven't seenthe advertising billboards that went viral,
they placed a handful of billboards inLa I Believe, and the copy was
something like this, These are threeof the options they had a vow of
celibacy is not the answer. Andnext to that copy is a photo of
two people in bed. Then therewas another one that said, you know

(52:06):
full well, a vale of celibacyis not the answer, which I don't
know about you, but that soundslike it was written by a man,
you know full well, by aman. Yeah, you know full well,
Yeah exactly. And that also hada picture of a woman with it
as well, so it was apicture of a woman woman. Yeah,
yeah, she had sunglasses, Ibelieve in the image. And then the

(52:27):
other one is thou shalt not giveup on dating and become a nun,
which that one really fucked. Theother two were like what the fuck?
And then that one like really,we're gonna criticize people, I mean,
like, yeah, people joke aboutthat I'm going to give up dating and
become a nun, but we're gonnashame people for wanting to just not date

(52:50):
and yeah, go their own way. So so it tells me that the
Bumble is so out of touch withwhat women are actually going through in the
dating world world that they thought thiswas clever and funny. They're like,
I mean, I I that's theonly thing that they're just that they're so
far out of touch they have noconcept of what actually what women are actually

(53:12):
going through from a marketing perspective,here's how I think it went down.
I think they did. They didsome market research and found out that women
aren't having sex as much with men, which we knew, right, and
they're like, okay, so onhow new generations are The newest generation is
like, is being less? Isless sexual? Yeah? Right? So

(53:34):
they they did some kind of marketresearch on that end, and then they
hired some agency or some copywriting teamto come up with this concept, and
they paid somebody to do this,and the lower level marketers at the company,
like myself included, looked at thoseand went, no, no fucking
way, we don't like those.But some older person who has been in

(53:58):
the role longer, who has mores, whatever, who is more out of
touch, said yeah, I thinkthis works. It'll it answers the questions
from whatever research that they pulled,and they ran with it instead of testing
spending more money to test those adsin a market and getting feedback before actually
putting them out in LA. Sothey skip steps and then at the end

(54:21):
of the day, I just thinkwhatever CMO or person just stomped on anybody
else saying no, these ads aregarbage and said I stand by these this
is my career moment and went withthem an rip to their career career ending
moment. Now. Yeah, andI think you're give them too much credit
because I think their research is oneof them has a kid who's probably eighteen
who's like not really interested in sexand was talking about it with them,

(54:44):
and they're like, oh my god, kids today aren't gonna want sex.
We need to make sure that wepromote sex. I think their research is
based on that. Or they sawTikTok about it and they decided this is
a thing. But if they sawa TikTok about it, they could have
looked at other tiktoks and gotten probablywent from a tik talk to Instagram to
a Facebook real and they saw iton Facebook. Ah yeah, where everything

(55:04):
goes to die. Yeah, that'swhere they ended up seeing it, and
then it made it from there tolike The Daily Show. They saw it
on The Daily Show, where ABCNews did a little story on it.
You know. I'm like, butyeah, definitely, this is this was
an ad campaign that was created bymen or or a woman who's so fucking
out of touch with reality that she'slike either boomer level or just like a

(55:31):
I don't know, like, andyou know it's she's not conservative because she
wouldn't be talking about celibacy is thething that she promotes, so she's got
to be kind of progressive. Butit's just dumb. I don't know,
like, is it just an idiocything? I think it's a they're honing
in on their target market and they'rethinking, Okay, we need more people
to pay for the premium subscription.How can we get more people to do

(55:53):
that? People use the app forconnection. They should have leaned into the
connections aspect because they have bumble bff. They have bumble, the professional one
that I always forget. But theyhave other means than just the dating aspect
that they should have honed in onconnections instead of sex. But instead they
were just thinking, how can wemake more money? How can we turn

(56:15):
this messaging into money, and let'sshame people instead on being celibate, and
then maybe they'll pay for premium subscriptionand not be celibate anymore. I mean
there's a money component to it,which is the money component is is that
men are the ones who are buyingthe premium subscriptions. Yes, they should

(56:37):
have shamed men in the ads ifthey wanted to shame anybody, well,
but the thing is is, insteadthey're treating women as the product, not
women. Are not supporting women.Women are what we're selling with our app.
We are selling your access to women. And if the women aren't of
the quality you want because they're notputting out, then we need to fix

(57:00):
the product. That's how they're viewingit is women as a product, not
women as as their other as theirbiggest client base. Without women deciding to
use the app, men are allby themselves. Just like that Maga app
that went out that uh that can'tfind women to actually join it, because
yeah, the right stuff app.Yeah that's the dating app for conservative people

(57:22):
that only has men on it.That's what's gonna happen because you're treating it
because but they they were so focusedon on how do we make this more
attractive to more men, create signingup so they'll spend more money. They
forgot about the fact that they're theyshouldn't be viewing women as products. But
by trying to say, oh,women, you're broken, we need to
fix you. You need to putout more so that more men will will

(57:43):
uh, we'll do that. It'slike it's like a woman that's like,
that's like some someone being like,well, how are you gonna get a
boyfriend if you don't if you don'tdress nice when you go out, Like
that's literally the same type of thing, you know, like or if you
use that, if you use thattype of language, you're never going to
find a husband. I mean,that's that's really what this is. And
I saw TikTok of someone saying thatdating apps are basically modern day pimps,

(58:04):
which I have never thought about before, and then you mentioned it. But
it is kind of true that theyare just trying to solicit you two men
to form whatever the man wants.It's kind of fun when you think about
it in that way, instead ofjust meeting people organically and forming actual connections
than just everything being based on sex. Right right, Well, And I

(58:29):
think that you know, you havesome notes in here that that I think
you saw from a TikTok curator thatother other ads they should have they should
have tried. Oh yeah, likethat thou shall not lie about your height
celibacy is the answer. You knowfull well you're not six feet tall like
those. And here's the thing is, if they did something like that.
Do you know how much outraged orthat would be on every Fox News criticizes

(58:52):
men because you know, how howdo you say anything negative about men?
And men would do a boycott abumble, which they wouldn't actually do because
they need they need the dating apps, you know, but like they they
would pretend to do one, andso like the fact that that they you
know, they didn't even think aboutsomething like that. But they're like,
let's just attack women, let's justtell women to start sleeping around when women
are right now it's deciding that theydon't want to like that. They're trying

(59:15):
to be more mindful in their choices, mindful and their dating, mindful and
their partners and bubbles like fuck mindfulness, don't get laid, you know,
Like yeah, they're like, uh, this is going to be a data
reference, but Rodney Dangerfield and backto School where he's like, we're all
gonna get laid and then like playsmusic like that's really what it is.

(59:36):
Do you have any idea what I'mtalking about? No, because it reference.
It's a fantastic movie. Yes,but do you who running Dangerfield?
Why do you even ask? Atthis point? I don't know. I
just because sometimes you surprise me withlike a positive answer. I was hoping
you wouldn't ask. I know,I know. But anyways, anybody who's
listening who knows that knows exactly whatI'm talking about, and they're like,

(59:58):
yes, they're nodding their head.I I know that. But I think
so Bumble that yeah. And Ithink dating apps in general, though,
are all fucked because we even talkedabout has dating changed after the pandemic,
and the resounding answer was, yeah, it fucking has. People don't want
to be on the apps anymore.So Match group that owns literally all of
the fucking dating apps is struggling rightnow and they're grasping for straws trying to

(01:00:22):
figure out ways to engage people andpay for premium subscriptions, and people don't
want it anymore. I mean,for example, Bumble, So Whitney,
who was the founder and CEO ofBumble is now on the executive board,
so they have a new CEO comeinto play. They're doing this whole big
rebrand because they need more money.They laid off thirty percent of their staff.

(01:00:44):
They're obviously struggling in having issues,and this is not helping the situation.
At all, And it's just itmakes it so much easier for the
modern day data like dater I wouldsay to just say, you know,
fuck all of these at the endof the day, because you just want
my money, you don't actually givea shit about making connections, or because

(01:01:05):
I think when these apps were introduced, especially Bumble was focusing on the value
that women have, the say womenhave in their own dating experience or adventure
or whatever, that they get tomake the first move, that they get
to call the shots, that it'snot a man's world. And now they're
rolling it back saying, actually,we need you to get along with men

(01:01:27):
so that we can make money.So figure it out. Yeah, we
know. They've also introduced and youwouldn't know this actually because you don't get
bumble anymore. They introduced a newthing where now you can create a prompt
as a man, so that youcan actually have like almost a question ahead
of time, so that they don'thave to message first. Oh really yeah,
And so it's still it's still aone's choice to message first, but

(01:01:50):
you can create prompts now so thatlike you're already your like have a pre
design question so that you know,like it's it's not taken back the power
as much. And there's other thingsyou can do now where you can actually
pay extra to when you swipe onsomebody to send them a message ahead of
time, even against what they don'tknow if a one doesn't want to hear
from you, but you can stilldo that now, and it is you

(01:02:10):
know, so I will say,you know, bumble, spend all this
time and all this money in developinglike an AI thing that if a guy's
into a dick pic, it's like, we think this might be an inappropriate
photo. They like, they canscan the photo and know that it might
be inappropriate and let you know aheadof time rather than telling him, hey,
is this a picture of your dick? Don't do that, dude.
I love that, you know,like they're just a telling warm and hey,

(01:02:31):
this might be something you don't wantto see. But anyways, regardless
of that, they spend all thetime with that. But they they they're
their biggest problem. The biggest problemwith every dating app is I think I
feel like men have no social etiquetteand andre aren't being held responsible for their
actual actions on dating apps. Yeah, it doesn't ever trickle into their professional

(01:02:51):
lives. Their personal lives. Theycan do whatever the fuck they want on
the internet with zero more. Youhave very little repercussions unless someone really goes
to town, you know, trackingthem down or whatever. Yeah, and
then for men, the alternative thatI see too is is there's there's a
lot of spam, and there's alot of fake accounts, and that their
end games are always kind of confusingbecause I'm like, you know, I

(01:03:13):
don't know that they they I don'tknow how many people they actually trick with
this, but it's it's this isfunny. I've been trying to work on
on this actually on stage, Ifigure how how I do this as a
bit. But you know, itused to be that if you saw someone
who was like insanely hot on anydating app, who had no profile and
all their photos like the model modelshots, you're like, Okay, it's
a spam, it's spambot, it'snot worth it. And you could swipe

(01:03:36):
right and you'd immediately get a matchsomehow, and then they woud immediately say,
oh, hi, blah blah blah, you know what, what is
your name? What is your location? I would love to move to WhatsApp
if you want to talk you know. But now now they're doing it with
like like just mid people, midpeople, so not like so just people
that are just like normal, averagelooking people that have no like that are

(01:04:00):
not like overwhelmingly like you just don'tthink like objectively, oh that person's hot.
They just seem like a nice personor whatever, and you swipe on
it and you get a match andit takes a few minutes because they've gotten
smarter and they're realizing that everybody knows. So now they're just like, let's
just take average people and just haveaverage people be the be the spammer.
So that's just that's a whole otherissue they have to work with. I
think if dating apps made it more, you required more authentication and had more

(01:04:24):
accountability for users. But then onceagain, you wouldn't have men creating multiple
accounts every time they get banned andspending money on it. So but yeah,
it's funny because we we you sentme the first TikTok from this,
I want to say, I wantto see Friday, right, yeah,
yeah, and so over the weekendis that like this is kind of blown
up, so we're actually getting Ithink we're kind of on this and on

(01:04:45):
a timely manner on like Our LikeBear one and our you know yeah,
and the Barbie episode we did,which is like two weeks later, but
it's funny. So I think justyesterday Bumble came out with an apology.
Oh yeah, they did, andthey posted it on their Instagram. I
will say too, before we getinto the apology, everyone on TikTok was
spamming the shit out of their commentson social media. That they were reducing

(01:05:09):
the comments that were being shown orjust like you know, turning comments off
on posts so that they weren't peoplesaying well, fuck you and your celibacy
or whatever. And I was seeingit show up on LinkedIn too, so
it didn't look like they had takenmuch off of LinkedIn versus TikTok was completely
you couldn't put a comment on there. But they posted their apology on Instagram

(01:05:30):
in a couple of slide images,and this is just the first part of
their apology, and then I'll kindof paraphrase their next steps. But they
start off by saying, we madea mistake, so at least they own
that that they made the mistake.Our ads referencing celibacy were an attempt to
lean into a community frustrated by moderndating, and instead of bringing joy and
humor, we unintentionally did the opposite. Okay, some of the perspectives we

(01:05:57):
heard were from those who shared thatcelibacy is the only answer when reproductive rights
are continuously restricted from others for whomcelibacy is a choice one that we respect,
and from the asexual community, forwhom celibacy can have a particular meaning
and importance which should not be diminished. We are also aware that for many,
celibacy may be brought on by harmor trauma. And then they go

(01:06:20):
on to what they're doing next,which is making a donation to the National
Domestic Violence Hotline and other organizations,and they are for the billboard space that
they've already paid for. They're offeringthose partners and organizations the chance to display
their ad of choice for the durationof their reserve billboard time. So that

(01:06:42):
is their apology. Some people prpeople. I think it's a pretty solid
apology. Other people are saying,well, you did what you did.
Fuck you. Someone obviously got firedand I'm deleting the eth now. Yeah,
it's a pretty big fuck up,is what it is. It's not
you know, it's the it tookthe weekend shoot. That was the other
thing. So all this controversy started. I really want to say Friday is

(01:07:06):
when a lot of whenever they launchedthe ads the weekend, it blew up.
And then Monday afternoon they released this, so they all got back into
the office on Monday and realized theyneeded pr behind this immediately. Yeah,
it's just yeah, it just blowsmy mind to really be so out of
touch with, for example, reproductiverights in the United States, and you

(01:07:30):
know, why women might not wantto have sex, why women might not
want to even risk the potential ofgetting pregnant, because even men's men,
men are saying, well, ifyou don't want to get pregnant, don't
have sex, and so like menare saying this though, you know,
okay, fine, and then we'relike we no, we didn't meant it
like that, you know, likebasically, so they're like to be that
blatantly out of touch just tells me, I don't know, like what was

(01:07:55):
funny about it? Where does thatbring joy or humor to talk about celibate?
See like that, Like I can'tbelieve they use that word and you
can you can play with that funnyword as a comedian, celibacy is not
a funny word. There are otherthings, Like I just chastity is a
funnier word. If you're gonna sayit, I would say chastity. That's
a funny. It's a funnier word, you know, like let chastity be
your friend, not your not yourcommand or something like that. You know,

(01:08:19):
like, you know, like it'sjust it's got a little more humor
in it. Be chased, notchaste, you know, c H A
S E D not c H AS t E. You know, like
if you were gonna do something likethat like that, that's a little funnier,
you know, like that, andand and and I can see maybe
humor, but there's no humor injust saying you know full well of valve
celibacy and not the other. There'sno humor there. I don't understand,

(01:08:42):
Like where was the bringing joy?Like, where's the fucking joy in that?
Also, if you received a textmessage from a man with any of
that ad copy immediate block, areyou fucking kidding? Yeah, exactly,
it doesn't. I obviously know thatthey're trying to go through a rebrand,
right they wipe their socials clean.They were saying, a new bumble is

(01:09:02):
coming, a new bumble whatever,and part of the new bumble is that
both men and women can send thefirst message, which just removes the one
special quote unquote special things that theyhad, right But some of the rebrand
stuff that they were doing was morerenaissance paintings, kind of making fun of
dating scenarios, which also feels alittle weird, instead of honing in on

(01:09:26):
what people want right now, theloneliness epidemic, connections people want after the
pandemic, so many connections, justseeing friends, anything that they should hone
in on that would actually hit allthree points of their business model, and
they focused on celiousy yep. Iknow, as I know there are smart

(01:09:50):
marketers on their team who said thisis fucking stupid, because I've been one
of those marketers where things get launchedthat I think are very dumb, and
then what happens Everyone else thinks it'sstupid except for the person who approved it.
So I feel for some of themarketers who unfortunately have to be attached
to this ship and they're like,I hope this goes away soon because this

(01:10:11):
looks bad on my career. Yeah, I mean yeah, so I definitely
I hope someone high up got fired. I really do. Yeah, I
just yeah, I'm still stuck onthis. We're an attempt to lean into
a community frustrated and instead of bringingjoy and humor. And I'm just like,
because that's the bad part of theapology to me, you know,

(01:10:31):
you you just say, is wemade a mistake, we misread the room.
Here's what we're gonna do. Yeah, here's what we learned. Here's
what we learned. You don't saywe were trying to do this, like
our intention was to make people laughby saying, how dare you try to
be celibate? I mean yeah,it could have been a little stronger in
that standpoint, but at least theyadmitted that they fucked up, because some

(01:10:58):
people haven't even do that. Yeah, you're right, the definitely had to.
I mean yeah, I'd like tosuggest that if they need, like
any future slogans, here's here's whatswipe right, suck a dick. You
know, bumble bumble blow jobs.You could just have that be one of
their you know, they have bumblebuzz and bumble bff and they could have
bumble blow jobs. It's just likeall it is is just men want their

(01:11:19):
dick sucked, and you just swiperight on those guys. Yeah. Yeah,
that's another I feel like that's anotherfearless marketing plan of there is to
bring joy to the community. It'sso sad too, because I've really respected
this brand over the years. Ithought they were really doing something different.
I like the female empowerment. Ihad applied to work there actually have Yeah,

(01:11:41):
I know, I know. Imean I wanted to glad you didn't
get there, right, Well,yeah, I wanted to do the program
where I traveled and met people throughBFF and then BIZ and the dating and
travel the world, which that fellthrough with the pandemic. But I also
know someone who used to work atBumble, and she's sad about the fact
that everything's basically going downhill since theirnew CEO stepped into things and is making

(01:12:05):
all these changes. So it's alsoan organizational problem. So I mean,
if Bumble goes away, it goesaway, right, I mean, the
market won't want it anymore. AndI also think the market doesn't want dating
apps at this point in time either. If you think about dating before I
existed apps for on a thing yeah, no, one, yeah, I

(01:12:26):
understand why they exist, but Ithink there's yeah, there's the you know,
people's connections or it is evolving,and there's gonna be a there's gonna
be something that comes up after thisthat I feel is going to be like
a new way to connect and andI can appreciate that. Well, going
back, sorry, I was gonnasay, well, going back to connections,
they could have spent the money ona campaign and instead of paying for

(01:12:48):
billboards and stupid ad copy, theycould have done pop up events in all
their major cities and had people invitepeople from the app to whatever free event
to connect with the locals in yourarea for BFF biz and dating and build
people to really like the app fromthat experience, and do a weekend thing

(01:13:11):
of Friday, Saturday, Sunday there'sa different thing going on and host events.
It would be a huge undertaking,but I think it would be more
successful and it would hit the pointsof what people want right now is to
meet in person, is to formreal connections instead of just sit behind a
screen. Yeah, yeah, andyou're right, the pop up events would
be a good good way to dothat. And so you should you should
have been you should be running theirmarketing. Everyone's listening. Well, there,

(01:13:34):
I can be your CMO. Ican't. I can't fix this problem.
I'm not there. But I wouldlike to suggest, because you know
they are looking for humor, butthey also want to understand that maybe some
people want to be celibate because theywouldn't want to risk getting pregnant. So
maybe another good capture to be bumblesand buttholes for when when you don't want

(01:13:55):
to be selid selib it, butyou don't want to get pregnant either.
Bumbles and buttholes. Bubbles and buttholesfor when you don't want to be sellid
but you don't want to get pregnanteither. Bubbles and buttholes anal works.
It just sounds like bubbles and buttplugs. Bubbles and butt plugs protecting women's

(01:14:16):
reproductive rice by promoting oral and analsex instead. Nice. So yeah,
So am I going to stop usingbumble? I don't you know. I'm
not really that happy with it rightnow. It sucks true because I really
like BFF. I mean, Idon't love it for meeting people. Don't
get me wrong, but I didmeet a couple of cool people through bumble

(01:14:38):
bff and now I have a crewin Seattle, so I do think which
is cool, it still holds value, but what else, you know,
I'm not going to turn to itat this point in time. They need
to figure their shit out. Yeah, no, they they needs another rebrand.
This if this was their rebrand,this was the whole big thing that

(01:14:59):
they've been like trying trying to talkabout, like, you know, they
just dropped the ball so badly.Yeah that, Yeah, they might as
well just call themselves tender again.They basically are, Yeah, they really
are. What's what's the what's themarket value of you versus Tinder versus Hinge?
At this point, Hinge isn't designedto be deleted. They want you
to keep paying and pay for rosesor whatever the fuck so you get the

(01:15:23):
more desirable people or whatever the fuckpeople are saying about the app. And
then Tinder is just a cesspool ofliterally everybody. And then Bumble was supposed
to be more for women and feelbetter for women to be on, and
that's not the case either. Sothey're all this, They're all the same.
I think, yes, Bumble donatingto organizations is a good a good

(01:15:45):
first step, but I also thinkthey should support legislation that helps protect women's
rights. They sure the organizations aregreat, but what are you lobbying for
birth control like that? Yeah,you say, like, oh, we
we should focus on women's productive rights. What the fuck are you doing in
the state of Texas when you're locatedin Austin, Texas as your headquarters.

(01:16:08):
Are you are you working with theTexas government any They have influence. I
mean Witney's husband is some I mean, she was a billionaire because of the
stock, but now the stock's gonedown, so like, oh boohoo,
she's not a billionaire anymore. Butthere's power and influence there, and you
could be doing something more than justsaying women you should fuck men, because

(01:16:29):
this should is actually turning into Handmaid'stail. Slowly but surely. I mean,
senators are saying things and introducing billsof yeah we should we should track
pregnancy apps, we should do this. Bumble's saying we should fuck men more
and remove perspectul. I mean,it's all leading in a terrible direction from
every side. Yeah, yeah,no, I agree. They should think

(01:16:50):
that they could have done a lotof things. They should have listened to
that those communities before having to donateto them. Yeah, you know,
hell, they could have a youknow, you know, this is just
a bumble bumble plan B. Youknow, like it's just essentially like a
door dash version of that bumble connectswith someone that if you need it,
you can get it sent to youwherever you are, you know, something

(01:17:12):
like that. That's a way topromote to support women and promote having sex
too at the same time. Thatwould have been a better idea. Yeah,
I'm just saying that. There's somany other ideas, but this this
was produced in a vacuum by someonewho thought they knew more and they didn't
do the research, and it showsby some man with all the audacity.
We just know that has to behas to be or they hired a man

(01:17:38):
for this with and he had theaudacity and they're like, well, we
already paid him, so we needto go through it. And that's part
of it too. Well, theit's a some costs at this point,
like we should still use it though, It's like no, just give up
and do something else. This iswhy I hate corporate America and I turn
off my computer at five o'clock becausebecause of stupid shit like this, where

(01:18:00):
even if you're really skilled at yourjob and you know what you're doing,
someone higher up who has the salaryand ego of what Elon Musk will make
a call that's really fucking stupid andyou can't do anything about it. Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely, marketing fails.Marketing. It pisses me off.
I love marketing, but this iswolf Anyways. Well, I think I

(01:18:30):
have nothing else to add to you. What else were we to know?
I mean I could, I couldkeep ranting, but there's really no point
at this point. At this point, yeah, I know, like we
just this is it. You know, let Bumble know how you feel.
Delete the app if you want to. I don't know the four B movement
no bumble, now that's right.No, uh it was birth, betrothals,

(01:18:53):
banging and bumble. Yeh, wellwe were already not banging, according
to Bumble, So let's just getrid of the bubble that was already already
initiate. Yeah all right, Well, you know we're not gonna say that.
You know I'm gonna say this though, you know full well that you
should write us a review for datingkind of sucks, But you know it
sounds so so harsh to say.Well, is like say it with Yeah,

(01:19:15):
that's like that's like that's and that'slike the old person talk to like
you know, you know full wellyou know that's like like nobody says that,
Like that's not even natural language rightnow, all right, bumble fucked
up. We've called it out,we've talked about it where you know,
we're annoyed, we're fortunate, we'refortune tell us we're both annoyed. So,
uh, what do you think aboutit? How about that? You

(01:19:36):
can tell us how you feel.You can call us at the DK's hotline
four oh seven five one nine iszero one eight one, or shoot us
an email at Dating kind of SucksPodcast at gmail dot com, or join
our Facebook group, Facebook dot comslash group slash DKs podcast where yesterday I
accidentally approved a post that was thisguy that got in and he answered the

(01:19:57):
questions properly, but then he letwrote some really nast the anonymous post about
women oh no, that I approvedby accident, and then everyone started commenting
on it. Then I outed whoit was because of course he was anonymous,
and then booted him from the groupand he kept trying to sign it,
kept trying to join the group again. Under his name and then like
apparently his wife's his wife's name orsomething like his wife's account, which I

(01:20:17):
was like, oh, so you'renot even like what a sleazy douche.
It was like it was like here, here's my message to fifty five to
women older than fifty five. He'san older guy. And it was also
like, you know, your kneesand elbows are pretty fucking ugly. It's
like it was just like shit likethat. But anyway, yes, so
our group, our group has somedrama sometimes, so it's worth joining.

(01:20:38):
That's Facebook dot com slash group,slash DKs podcast, and for as little
as five dollars a month, youcan join our Patreon at Patreon dot com.
Slash DK's podcast aam and I willrant more about things going on like
this topic or other things on therewhenever we get a chance to record a
little Patreon episode. Yep. Andif you not listening, I mean,

(01:21:00):
if you're listening to this but notwatching this, you can watch it on
YouTube YouTube dot com. Slash datingkind of sucks. And even if you
you know, just have a YouTubechannel you want to subscribe, that'd be
great. We're actually are no everyepisode close to one thousand subscribers, which
is pretty bad ass for for YouTubesince we only post these not really a
thing. Yeah yeah, we postthese and then I post shorts that insight
the in cells of YouTube. Andof course you can join us on Instagram

(01:21:24):
at dating kind of sucks with bothour individual instagrams repost things and our tiktoks
adam avitable and at simple Sergy underscore. And again you know full well that
you should give us a fun startrating and review on iTunes if you haven't
already, follow us on Spotify andrate us on Spotify because I think the
in cells have found our Spotify accountas well and have been dragging that ship

(01:21:45):
down as well. So oh Ibelieve it. I absolutely yeah that happens.
I haven't looked at the numbers.Do they do that? It's been
bombed. Believe we were. Weused to be a four point five star
rated podcast and now we're just afour. Oh yeah wow, they have
been attacking it. Yeah, sowe need your help. Go rate us
on Spotify. But yeah, withthat, we will be back two weeks.

(01:22:09):
In two weeks, she should beokay, are you back from Arginzuela
by that Virgin it'll be right afterMemorial Day, so no, I'll still
be in Argentina. Will we recordnext to Yeah? Okay, well then
yeah, we'll be back in twoweeks with the brain episodes. So thanks
for listening until next time. Whetheryou're married or fingle or probably you're worrying

(01:22:31):
and I Wismer's back at your place, listen to us and be getting no
buck a tender grin mumble of plentyof young trying and trying and having to
luck because we all know dating kindof sucks. Sarah and Adam are dulaba
kai. He says dupid shit andshe doesn't mind. They're not doing miniso

(01:22:51):
to make any fuck life. Butthe chicken woo's been theresday? Buck,
why does it work? We'll hearwith the cruck. They all know dating
kind of sucks. Dating kind ofsucks

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