The Mr. Simone Biles Controversy: Impress Your Friends or Support Your Partners?

Episode Transcript
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(00:02):
Hi, I'm Adam Ethavitable and I'mSarah. This is the dCas Podcast,
a podcast about love, sex,culture and society. This week we'll be
discussing why men belittle their partners toimpress their friends. Enjoy the show whether
you're married or worrying on Wismer's backof your place, listen to us and

(00:24):
be getting a tender and bubble ofplenty of young trying and trying and happen
to blund because we all know datingkind of sucks. Welcome to Season seven
of the DKAS Podcast. This year, we're going to really lean into a
new direction for the podcast, expandingour topics to include issues and trends in
society, explore travel and culture,and expand our knowledge while still keeping our

(00:47):
origins in mind and not straying toofar from dating, sex and relationships.
This is the year of the listener. We want to hear from you,
whether you have topic, ideas orquestions you want to email to Dating kind
of Sucks Podcast to gmail dot com, or an issue you need help with
and want to leave a voicemail onour DCS helpline at four oh seven five
one nine zero one eighty one.Don't be shy. We want to know

(01:11):
who you are. We want toshout you out on air, and we
want to watch creepily from your backyardas you make dinner for your family.
Our community has always been the coreof our success, and this year we
want to make sure that community thrivesand has more support than ever. This
week we'll catch up on anything notablethat has happened over the holidays. Get
an update from a listener who calledus for relationship advice in twenty twenty three,

(01:34):
answer a voicemail from a listener whohas a question about dating a trans
man, and then dive into thetea of that bullshit Simone Bile's husband,
whatever the fuck his name is whathe said on a podcast, and ask
the question why do men feel theneed to put down their partner instead of
supporting her? Is it just ajoke or is it a red flag?
And how should you handle it ifit happens to you. We'll beginning into

(01:57):
that and more. But first,Adam, it's twenty twenty four. How
is your Christmas and New Year's andall of that? Mister grinch? Well,
I survived it, so that's whatmatters. My heart did not grow
three sizes this past month, butI really didn't do a damn thing,
which was pretty fantastic. I thinkChristmas Eve, I believe it was Christmas

(02:17):
Eve, because I think Christmas aMonday, like New Year'sday was a Monday
too, right, Yeah, SoChristmas Eve, I went to comedy I
did an open mic at this onebar that does an open mic every Sunday
night and did some material and hungout with the comedians until most of them
to like late, like eleven ishor whatever. Just drinking that was that
was kind of fun, and thenjust kind of pushed through for the holidays

(02:40):
and the New Year's Eve. Wentover to a friend's house and realized around
like I got there at like eight, and at like eight thirty, I
was like, I don't want toreally like party, Like I'm not in
a I don't like New Year's Eveanyways. It's always just seemed like an
amateur holiday to do anything. Andso I stopped drinking, and at like
twelve oh one, I was like, oh, happy New Year, A
right, let's go. I'm gonnago now, good night, and then
drove home and went to went tobed. I was in bed by like

(03:02):
twelve thirty. It was great andthat was you know, yeah, basically
the biggest issues was what place isgoing to be open for me to you
know, make sure I get ifI'm going to go out for food or
if I'm going to go out toyou know, do any comedy or whatever
like things like that. Uh.And so that's that was my holiday.
It was very very very low keyand uh and I was happy with that.

(03:23):
And uh, you know, didn'tyou know my big family, My
family always is like a group textfor there are like on Christmas Morning when
they always wish you know, merryChristmas, and it's just like it's it's
so so personal. Yeah, andI always I always reply unsubscribed, So
of course I did that this year. I should do that online. Yeah,
that's great, just like it's justlike, you know, especially because
sometimes there's weird people attached to thislike group message. It's I don't know

(03:46):
who some of these people even aresome of the phone numbers and so yeah,
like are you still in the family? Yeah, unsubscribe and uh yeah,
you know, and this is alsoJanuary first was when my mom died
last year, so that was kindof like a you know, keeping that
in mind, the first kind ofChristmas. Last Christmas I don't even really
count as existing as a holiday becauseI don't want to talk about this in

(04:09):
the last episode, but it wasbasically my dad and I just sitting my
mother's by my mother's bedside, liketaking shifts until she died. Like she
was like she was at that pointwhere she was not eating, she wasn't
drinking, she hadn't had like anythingof subsistence substance for like I want to
say, like a week and ahalf, like and we're like, how
is she even like alive, youknow, like it was crazy, and

(04:29):
so we just were just kind ofsitting there and just making sure she was
comfortable. And so that I really, you know, you don't really celebrate
anything then. So this is thefirst year. And of course, my
my ninety four year old grandfather endedup in the hospital on Christmas or New
Year's Eve, I think. Andso I'll tell you what, I swear
to God, I really expected towake up Junior first finding out that my
grandfather had died, and I waslike, oh, let's just make January
first of the time when everybody dies, Like that's just gonna be it.

(04:51):
Let's just start New Year and Newdeath basically, but he did not.
He's still still hanging in there.So I guess that's good. I mean
that is good. I don't guessthat's good. Then that's a weird way
to say that. And yeah,so but what I was most excited about
about the New Year's was my friendLisa coming to visit. And that has
been that was very nice. Shejust got She got here on January fifth,

(05:14):
she got on Friday, and todayis the ninth Tuesday. Okay,
so yeah, it's I mean,it's been four days, but it's been
a long fun it's a long funfour days. Anybody who's listening to the
podcast knows Lisa, as I've talkedabout her multiple times. You know,
she's comes and visits that and wego out and hit up the bar scene.
And we definitely hit up the barscene quite a bit. I picked
up Friday night at like six thirtyfrom the airport and came here and dropped

(05:39):
off her bag and pretty much wentout for food and drinks and you know,
and I tried to show her.I want to show her all of
the like everything that I had discoveredso far about Tulsa. So we hit
up a different, like different handfulof places every night, like we're like,
let's let's try this place. SomeplacesI've never even been to. There's
a gay club that we went toone night that was it was insane,
like we got there too early,which I feel like it Orlando. There's

(06:00):
Parlem now, so if you gotthere before like eleven thirty or midnight,
there was just no point because there'sonly like six people there. And that's
that's kind of how we were.We got there a little too early,
but then we were there till twoin the morning, and like by two
it was like just packed full.It was insane. And I remember and
one random ersion recognized me from TikTok. So it was getting too hot in

(06:20):
the place, so I went.I went to step outside where he was
smoking, and I just figured i'dget some fresh air. And there are
people taking a picture, and Isaid, you want me to take a
picture for you because they were tryingto hold it for like eight people like
hold the camera out and you holdtheir phone out, and I was like,
let me take it for you.So I took it, and the
one was like do you like photosor something on TikTok or like you do
something like you I know you.And I was like and I like,

(06:43):
and this is bacon and she goes, oh my god, and that she
immediately knew who it was. Itwas pretty fucking funny. So that was
kind of random, just just talkingto them. But yeah, it's been
good. It's been exhausting. SoI'd been in a good way just being
able to just go out and havefun. I have a friend to hang
out with and spend a lot oftime with funny things. So I've got
my place is just a one bedroomapartment. I've got a living room where

(07:05):
like you walk into the front door, there's a kitchen and then a living
room. You go left and thereis the bedroom, and then the bedroom
is attached to them, you know, a bathroom. So I have a
big air mattress that I filled upin the living room releasa to sleep on.
We would share a bed, exceptmy storing drives are crazy, so
like in the in the past,we would like in Orlando, we she

(07:26):
just call in to bed and goto sleep. But she's got more sensitive
in her in her older age.I think to oh, Johnny, I'm
not I'm not living her. I'mjust saying that I know that's one thing
because I know in the past mystoring was also bad, but I think
my storing has also maybe got alittle bit worse. So I also have
Google speakers everywhere throughout the throughout thehouse that you can like they're all set
ups, you can play music throughoutthe whole house. You can tell to

(07:46):
do you know this noise machine,white noise, et cetera, and everything
like that. And the first night, she said that she wanted to put
one of the speakers between the matchand like in the wall of where my
bedroom was because it was so Iwas snoring so bad, so that way
she could have white noise. Andshe had the white noise like cranked up

(08:07):
to ten and it was like thunderstormnoise. Yeah. Yeah, at one
I think at one point she didcome in and she just like grabbed grabbed
me and it was like, you'resnoring too loudly, Like yeah, basically
it was pretty funny. But essentiallyI would get up early and come out
here and work and because it's wheremy desk is as well, and then
she could go climb into my bedand like shut the door and then get

(08:28):
some get additional sleep because she alwaysdid. She didn't always sleep that great,
but that's all right. So Iam exhausted, and as you know,
because I dropped her off in theairport, came back to lay down
and bed take a nap, andyou called right as I laid down,
and I was literally falling. Iwas like falling asleep mid conversation, and
I could tell that I was doingI was like, why, I am
really tired, and I was tryingto like stay awake, but I was

(08:50):
like, literally like as soon asyou hung out, as soon as we
hung up on the phone, Ilike, my I just like hung up
and like passed out for two hours. So yeah, So now I'm in
recovery mode for the next couple.I've got tonight, we're recording our first
episode of the year. I've gota new open mic I'm going to that's
actually at a comedy club tomorrow andWednesday, a place called Bricktown Comedy Club
where you have to sign up amonth ahead of time, and so it's

(09:13):
you know, it's nice, butalso the comedy club is the people at
the club are watching other people runthe club, which means that it can
give you the opportunity to do maybeget a hosting gig or get some stuff,
because not that I I am doingthis for money, but I'm enjoying
getting back in a comedy quite abit. Like I'm building community, but
yeah that too, Yeah, Iguess, yeah, I'm meeting people that
way, which is cool. I'malso like actively working on like building a

(09:37):
whole new set, and I'm enjoyinglike the challenge of like, oh,
let's teak these words and stuff likethat. Like I kind of lost that
challenge over the years because I hadwhat I was happy with and so I
didn't try to adjust it. Sonow like working from scratch has been great
and I'm really enjoying and like Ibuilt a whole like about fifteen minutes now
of brand new material that's not thatwasn't my old stuff, and it's it's
kind of fun to see how wellit does. So that's been good,

(10:00):
been really, That's the nicest thingabout being here is like feeling comfortable enough
to start joining and getting back intocomedy again because I have missed that so
much. Yeah, because you're noton the road now, right, and
it was just so so hard totry to do it on the road.
So that wasn't going to happen onthe road. You didn't even explore the
town you were in for the fivedays you were there. I know,
I know. So yeah, sothat's uh, that's been what's going on.

(10:24):
And I by the time we doour next episode, I think will
be coming out, not this one, but the next one will on my
birthday actually, and you'll have abirthday between, right, Yeah, my
birthdays next Friday, Yeah, sothen the friday after that. Yeah,
and uh so what do you uh, how was your holiday and what like?
What do you played for your birthday? So we'll start with my birthday.
We are going to this resort aboutan hour and a half outside of

(10:46):
Seattle. I've always hated the factthat my birthdays in January, because,
especially even in Florida, it's colder. All of my friends had summer birthdays.
They could go to the beach,they could do cool things, and
I felt like mine was just thelame do something inside birthday. I don't
know, maybe that's all January birthdaysor whatever, but I've never done any
any winter activity for my birthday becauseI always try to do something more summary,

(11:09):
Like last year, I went toHawaii, so I told Roy this
year, just getting a cabin andgoing somewhere in the snow would be cool.
So we're going to go into themountains. We're staying at a nice
resort, and we're going tubing.Hopefully there's enough snow. We're supposed to
get snow the next couple of dayshere in Seattle. So Winter Wonderland Birthday.
And Yeah, there's massive outdoor poolthat they have that's fully heated,

(11:33):
so swimming in instead of just sittingin a hot tub, which is still
fine, but being able to swimin a fully heated pool that's outdoors overlooking
the mountains is going to be reallycool as well. So I'm looking forward
to that. That's great. Isthis one that you managed to pitch to
get a stay out of or isyou have to pay for? No?
And this is all Roy's idea too. I kind of told him, Hey,
this is the idea that I haveof getting an airbnb and doing all

(11:58):
that, And then he was worriedabout just the amount of snow on the
road and if we would even beable to get back into an airbnb depending
on how tuck toaway it is.So he was like, let's pick a
resort that way, it's at leastsome cleared roads which were smart. So
this is all his idea and I'mexcited and it'll be fun. That sounds
really fun. Yeah, And thenas far as Christmas in New Years,
obviously, I was back in townbefore that. We went to Portland,

(12:22):
Oregon, and spent some time athis sister's house for Christmas, and I
always have a good time with them. I really like his sister a lot.
Roy's a big game or game personand board game person, and I
am not. That was historically whatwas in my dating profile of I don't
like board games, and of courseI'm dating someone who likes board games and
his entire family likes games. SoRoy gets really excited when he knows there's

(12:46):
going to be more than just twopeople around, because then he packs his
board games. So he packed multipleboard games, and so we knew at
some point a game was going toget pulled out. And the game that
we chose was Dune because it wasnew to him and he had never played
it. And he was like,well, we can all learn together and
it'll be a good time. Well, oh, I've done that before.

(13:07):
That can be challenging sometimes trying tolearn a new game, like when you're
trying to play it too. Itwas. It was a good time and
a bad time all wrapped in one. I just black out when people are
explaining rules to games, and soI sit there and go, I'll figure
it out when we actually do apractice run or whatever, and nothing matters.

(13:31):
And I don't know, maybe peopletake it more seriously, but I
just I can't digest the information.There's too many fucking rules. So we
start playing and then we realize there'san advanced mode, there's a normal mode
in an advance mode, and wewere picking rules in between and choosing which
fucked his sister over more than itfucked Roy over. And then I was

(13:52):
just, oh, you know,some things I could have played better if
I would have known we were playingadvanced rules. So midway through the game,
we're two hours, and at thispoint midway through, we go,
actually, let's just switch it andbe fully advanced. And his sister was
annoyed at things, and I'm justtrying to maintain the piece and get through
this fucking game. It was like, please somebody win so we can stop

(14:13):
playing. And his moms text me, like, you guys, still playing
because she knows I'm a one anddone type of gamer. I'm gonna play
one game just to appease everyone,and then I'm fucking out. I will
not be playing for hours. Buthis mom was so sweet. She's like
I, but she's so happy though, that everyone's playing together. And it
was true. He was really happyand excited. So we continued on and
drank and ate popcorn and it wasa good time. But I can't learn

(14:35):
a game like that again, Like, mentally, I need to know going
and I'm dedicating four hours of mylife and that is way too much fucking
time. An hour is good forme, not four. Yeah, those
games, yeah, especially like someof them, just I mean, just
to play one round of it.I did that with some friends before I
left Florida, and one person whohad to play, so she explained it

(14:56):
to the other the other two ofus and we started playing, and I
was like, by the time thefirst game was over, I finally understood
the game, you know, likeit took that long and then but then
I was like I already lost obviously, but I was like, oh,
okay, well let's you know.I wanted to try that again, but
not now. Because we just tookyou know, two two and a half
hours to play the fucking thing.Mm hmm, yeah, exactly. The
boat. I was like, thisis a fun game, but we're gonna

(15:18):
have to wait six months to playit again to cool down from that experience.
So that was Christmas, and thenNew Year's we spent it in Seattle.
We had a couple of local friendswho had a little house party,
and then we went out to thebars and I was ready to I didn't
think to a friend's house party.I know we have friends now friends.
I know we have friends now justpeople who are really just down the street.

(15:41):
We have a little crew that everyone'swithin walking distance, which is nice.
We hung out with them last nighttoo, so it's cool to have
another couple that Roy vibes with andwe're all good. But I was ready
to call it quits at probably eleven, and then they were like, well,
we're all going to take the busand go to this bar. And
at that point I'm in, youknow, we're all in a group,
let's do it. And one ofthe people who joined our group, who

(16:04):
is relatively new to Seattle, shebefore and I feel bad talking shit,
but it was such a train wreck, and I have not seen a train
wreck like that in a while thatI just okay. So we're drinking at
the house party and she wants toramp it up, and Roy and I
are the two oldest people there.Roy's thirty six and I'm soon to be

(16:26):
thirty two. So and everyone's eitherthirty thirty one or like very late twenties,
and this girl was twenty eight.She's like, well, it takes
me about five to seven shots toactually feel anything. And I'm thinking that's
a lot of fucking alcohol. Ihave one glass in this little spice cinnamon

(16:47):
beverage in this pot, and I'mgood, you know. So she leaves
and goes to the grocery store andbuys a handle of whatever vodka she found,
comes back and then asks everyone tostart taking shot one. I'm not
a shots person into it's this isyou and I have talked about this New
Year's eave is amateur hour and I'mnot. I'm not doing that. I'm
good with my one drink. Iknow my limits. So she, you

(17:11):
know, takes back what seven shots, and then we decide to go to
the bar that's just insane by itself, by the way, like you know
what, like that right there,that's yeah, and Roy and I already
look here to the like this isgonna be a fucking shit show with her.
Keep an eye on that. Sowe all get to this bar.
It's a very chill, low keyplace. There darts and foosball tables on

(17:33):
one section of the bar. Theother section that has a wall splitting it
is nice comfy couches. Everyone's sittingplaying board games and talking. So it's
like this is this is such avibe. I like sitting here having conversation,
not screaming at a bar. Wonderful. Well, she keeps running over
in between the two sections of thebar, going, guys, it's time
to play darts, Doc, guys, it's time to do this and that

(17:53):
and whatever. And the entire fuckinggroup is ignoring for us, and it
was so I felt bad because shewas new to our group, but also
just check the vibe of how everyoneelse is responding. So then she starts
talking to the bartender whatever, andNew Year's happens, whatever. We have
to wait for the bus to goback to where we're at, and she's

(18:14):
standing on the side of the roadin heels. Cars are passing. If
she loses her balance, she fallsinto the street and a car hits her
and she probably dies. Like carswere driving really fast by. She kept
saying, no, I'm a grownwoman, I'm fine, I can handle
myself. And we just kept tryingto push her closer to the actual bus
station or the bus stop was soshe wouldn't die and fall off the end

(18:36):
of the of the sidewalk didn't matter. She kept falling over whatever. I'm
surprised she didn't get injured. There. We get on the bus and she
kept saying. There was no oneon the bus at the time. She's
like, let's let's sing some tunes, guys. And it's one point thirty
in the morning. We've been standingat this bus station for twenty five minutes
because we missed one. And thenthe ubers were all super they started hiking

(18:57):
up the prices, so I waslike, I'm just ready to go fuck
home. At this point, shestarts singing Bohemian Rhapsody and all of these
other songs, and as more andwhere people start entering the bus, they
are mortified with what's going on.I felt so bad for the bus driver.
It was tragic, and I sawyour story, and I remember I

(19:18):
saw the story and I heard hersinging, and I thought that was like
a random drunk stranger. So thenwhen you told me later on that it
was someone that you knew, Iwas like, oh my god, it
was yeah, and they like,I was impressed you knew the lyrics of
that. It stayed a drunkeness though. That was a little impressive. So
we'll see if I run it.She lives around us, so I don't
know if she'll join another group activityor whatever. But it was one way

(19:42):
to ring in the car. Andyeah, so fun a story at least.
So when when we were at thewe went to the gay clubs called
Club Majestic. It's walkable the way. I love that actual walk hole.
I know so many walkable things here, it's crazy. There was this woman

(20:03):
that that was there that was friendswith another friend. We went with like
a group of five people, sixpeople, and there was this woman there
and she was she was tall,she was like probably like six to two,
and she was very aggressive with Lisa. Like I was talking to Lisa
and was trying to like talk toher, so Lisa could barely hear because
there was lowed lots of music playingin there, and Lisa like leaned into

(20:25):
to be able to talk to her, and the woman like shoved her tongue
down Lisa's throat without asking. Yeah, yeah, and uh and then apparently
that woman ended up getting that night, went back with her other group of
friends, the ones that we hadmet out with, but didn't want to
go inside the house, and couldn'tfind her shoes, had left them in

(20:48):
the car or something, and waswalking around barefoot in people's neighbor's yards on
her phone, and the cops camein and apparently arrested her for being drunkenness
early on that night. So thatwas whatever night that was, wasday night,
maybe maybe Saturday night. Yeah,yeah, pretty insane. So yeah,
that's just a remind me of that, just the sometimes that random person
that's part of your group but notreally part of the group. You're like,

(21:11):
we don't know her. Let's uh, we're gonna we're gonna pretend we
don't know who that is. You'retrying to be polite, but also,
I'm not responsible for whatever happens next. Yes, yes, exactly, exactly.
Well, yeah, so your birthdayis gonna be fantastic. You'll have
to tell about that next the nextepisode. I guess we'll hear about it
and I'm gonna figure out the plan. I don't. I don't, Yeah,

(21:33):
I don't know what to do.Maybe, I mean the strip club
is probably where I'm gonna end up. I'm gonna guess. Yeah. I'm
like, it's a little late inthe game to be making weekend plans somewhere,
but you still could do it ifyou want it well in this area.
I probably could, to be honest, that's probably, you know,
But I also like, where amI gonna where I would drive to like

(21:56):
a I don't really know that I'dwant to, like go go stanate a
new I'm still learning this town,so the go stay in Newtown like feels
kind of weird around, Like there'sso many things to explore here, So
I don't know. We'll see,I'll probably figure something out or nothing,
or the strip club that's fine too, Or I'll or the strip club,
or I'll just post my venmo inour dating kind of sex Facebook group and
have people buy me drink. Don'thave a drink. I thought you were

(22:19):
taking a break after this weekend withLisa. I am for the next two
weeks. My birthdays in two weeksand three days. Ruary never works for
people who are born in this monthbecause I plan to not drink, and
then my birthday comes around and Ihave at least one, you know exactly,
yeah, of course, or ten, I'll love a couple or if

(22:42):
right there for me, I'll doa couple of shots too, you know.
So I just want to say thisone thing. My friends here that
do shots are terrible. They're justthey're like one of them is a bartender
and she's like, do you wantto do shots? And I've done I'm
like okay, And so she justpours like straight warm tequila's and then she
gave me a shot on time,like, well, I like vodka,
so she just gives me straight vodkawarm as a shot. I'm like,

(23:04):
no, no, I want likea shot like a sometime of a mixed
shot that tastes good to like,I don't want to just like throw back
liquor for the sake of throwing backliquor, like, you know, it
should taste decent at least. Okay, So that was an interesting thing.
They don't get care like that's alllike yeah, definitely not fancy, but
you know, like we I wanta lemon drop shot or no. I

(23:27):
mean I just thought that she wouldknow. Like vodka, you throw it
in with a little bit, youknow, put vodka in a little something
at least, not just straight vodka. That's how people do Russia. That's
how people do shots sometimes sometimes likesugarcoat it. You just take a drink.
Yeah. So yeah, you gotthose green tea shots that you did
with me, which were really good. They took a shot because I have

(23:48):
no fucking I have no reason totake something unless you you're like, you
buy it and you're like you'll likeit, and I actually did like it.
I come on, try it,and you're like, oh, this
isn't bad. See all right,well, let's let's go take a break,
take a couple of shots and thatno, no more drinking. But
when we come back, we'll goahead and have updates from listeners and voicemails

(24:12):
from listeners and all types of things. So it's going to be the listener
hour for the next next section.So first up, we have an update
from a listener. Lexi originally calledus last year and asked how to handle
a relationship that had her feeling acertain kind of way should she pursue it
or not. Here's her original voicemailthat will play and this air during the

(24:33):
Did the Pandemic Ruined Dating? Episode? Hey y'all, So I was wondering,
I've been dating this guy for abouta year now, and we haven't
had the conversation of if we're boysfriend and girlfriends. We haven't had that
explicit conversation yet, but we havealready made it clear that we're dating each
other exclusively, and I think thatthere's somebody that I want to be in

(24:56):
a relationship with. But also I'vefeel like this guy, like he doesn't
take me out enough. And we'vebeen having the conversation of I want our
meetups and our time's been together tobe more intentional. And we've had this
conversation for a few once. NowI feel like I'm just not getting that.

(25:17):
So based off of that information,is this a relationship that I should
even be trying to pursue? SoI'm gonna assume, of course that like
we gave great advice. You know, I do what we say that I
don't remember what we said at all, but but you're you're a little more
meticulous. So did we have goodadvice on the Stepods looking for you.

(25:38):
I listened to what we said.I think I think we gave good advice.
We just told her really to communicatewith him to see where he's at
with things. And we also kindof felt like it was a little bit
problematic. But who knows, afterthe conversation, he could turn out to
be understanding and want to take herout on dates publicly and solidify the relationship

(26:00):
and actually be boyfriend and girlfriend.But we suggested have a conversation first before
making any you know, to seeYeah, because it sounds like he's just,
you know, there's some reason thathe's not willing to commit, and
that could be a big, bigissue and you're just having just getting laid
like there's not really you know,you she wanted more, and so the
way to get more is to askfor it, and then it doesn't happen,
then to end things, so right, and then yeah, and then

(26:23):
she said she sent us two updates, so should we get into those?
Yeah, let's get into the update. What we really want after we get
a voicemail like that, we wantto know what happens. Yeah, we
want to exactly. Yeah, andso you know, we would love for
anybody else who's at harrassed Revice andyou know, to let us know what
can we know what happened? Didyou take the advice? Did you ignore
it and then something happened? So? Uh, LEXI Yeah. Lexie sent

(26:47):
two Emaale updates. In the firstone, she explained that in her work,
a male dominated profession, she isconstantly inundated with men flirting with her
and being inappropriate. And in oneparticular, it's just she had a client
that she had slept with, andthis is well before she met this guy
that she was asking about in hervoicemail, and she and the client also
agreed that it wasn't going to continue, and they have been completely professional and

(27:07):
platonic for years. She even saidto the point that she had actually forgotten
that even slept together, like itwas just not even like a thing.
And apparently at one point her quoteunquote boyfriend, who is this guy in
the voicemail, Yeah, that guyhad asked her if she had ever slept
the clients and she had said nobecause it wasn't something she really wanted to
get into. And I can't understandthat as well. Well, somehow the

(27:27):
truth cut out. I don't knowShe didn't really get the details on how
the boyfriend found out, but whenit found out, when he found out,
he used that to start calling hera whore and telling her that he
didn't trust her, and he couldn'ttrust her, and he didn't want a
date her, didn't want to bewith her in that way, and that
he wouldn't even be mentioned in seeingher anymore unless she dumped that client and

(27:48):
any client who'd ever shown any interestin her at all, which of course
would eliminate basically right exactly, andthat of course eliminate most, if not
all, of her male clients.And she said that she couldn't see really
doing that for a guy who wouldn'teven officially commit to her. And so
that was her email, just kindof giving us an update. It didn't
sound very very good, and sothat's that was the first update. I

(28:11):
also thought too in her email,because I know she asked us to provide
the cliff notes version because it waskind of long. But she said,
he now questions my loyalty and believesI'm a liar in parentheses serious eye roll,
and it makes me believe he justwanted a way out. And when
I was reading, I was like, yeah, he just you're a whore
then, you know whatever, notthat into you anymore, and was just

(28:32):
projecting something onto her. I waslike, not my problem anymore. I
can end this now. That's howI read it. From the first update
that she sent us. I waslike, yep, immediately he just wants
out. Yeah, yeah, there'ssomething there. And it's also this idea
too of like any any man who'sgoing to be that insecure, like regardless

(28:52):
of of their motivations behind it,Like, if you're going to be that
insecure and jealous about stuff like that, you just you shouldn't date anybody like
you really should, because if youcan't trust your partner, then what's the
point of being with them. Ifyou don't trust them, leave them.
That should be the rule, theonly rule. You don't belittle them,
you don't insult them, you know, you know, you don't do anything
like that. But if you're goingto commit somebody, commit somebody, and

(29:14):
he wouldn't do either. Yeah.So well the other problem too is having
to know all of her past inthat aspect of any time a guy has
flirted with her, anybody she's sleptwith. I'm like, is she asking
him to do the same. Ofcourse she's not doing that, but all
of a sudden he wants to knowall of this information so he feels quote
unquote more secure in the relationship orwhatever it is. Is just such bullshit,

(29:36):
And she didn't. I mean,that question probably got thrown off the
cuff of oh, have you datedanyone in the past, and you are
faced with the question head on ofgo down this hour long conversation of talking
about this or say no, becauseit's so far in the past that it's
really not that fucking it's not importantanymore and that doesn't affect us in our
relationship. So no, it wasno, I'm not seeing anyone. I

(29:59):
didn't sleep with the anyone, andgo on, Yes, she did lie,
and she did call that out inher email, but I don't know,
I don't think that's the most problematicthing in this entire situation so far,
not at all. Well, becauseshe said she lied, and I
think she's being harder herself because thenlater on she did say she's like,
I honestly just forgotten about it,and you know, like especially something happened
years ago, a one time thingthat didn't and then you're now friends of
the person you're not always going tobe. Yeah, unlike how a lot

(30:22):
of men think the one time theysleep with someone that forever means that they're
going to be able to sleep withthat person. Yeah, you know,
I think, you know, womencan be like, oh, that was
a thing. I'm putting out ofmy mind because I don't need to think
about that anymore. Yeah, sothat would be a great update. I
mean a great I mean, we'reunfortunate for her, although maybe fortunate for
her as well, but it getsbetter, it gets better. So yes,

(30:45):
so here here's here's the second update. And this is in her own
words, so this is just herbecause her laddicting those a little bit shorter,
so I'll just read this directly.It turns out there was another woman
the entire time. I don't evenknow what to call this emoji, but
it's yes down smiley face on theidea. I reached out to her and
had a conversation. She had beenwith him for five years. Apparently I

(31:07):
reached out to her because I foundher on ig and creeped her page a
bit. Saw a pick of herat a wedding that the guy liked,
which was weird because he said hehad had her blocked for a year at
that point, looked on his pageand noticed the pick with the same background
and at a wedding. You know, I'll tell you what. There is
no detective or investigator like a womanlooking up like a guy that she was
at. Yeah, it's amazing tagphotos. It's so easy. You just

(31:32):
go through the photos and other peoplerelated. Yeah. I asked him about
it, and he said, oh, yeah, we were at the same
wedding, but we didn't interact.When I spoke to her, she sent
a pick of them kissing at thatwedding. I got a lot of shit
for lying about a current friend Iwas intimate with years ago, but I
came clean about it, and I'vebeen dating this guy exclusively the whole time,
just to find out he was lyingthe entire time. I'm disappointed,

(31:55):
angry, but at least now Ihave my confirmation. But honestly, I
should have left when I realized myneeds weren't being met. Yeah, it's
an unfortunate situation, but there weresigns of hey, this doesn't seem right.
Hey, how can we rectify thissituation to actually be a couple.
Why aren't you taking me out publicly, there's you know, unfortunately, there

(32:16):
were some signs there, Yes,And I think that sometimes people will say,
well, he just doesn't like togo out ever, or he just
doesn't like to do this, orit's just not who he is. But
sometimes there's there really is a reasonthat they they're keeping you as their secret,
you know, and they're not willingto actually take you out. They're
purely about sex because they can't becausethey have other relationships going on, ones

(32:38):
that they're at public. Because hewas at a wedding with her, like,
so she was the public girlfriend andyou were the secret girlfriend, right,
And of course it's it's the samething with her. It's like when
you can get down. They withshitty people, every accusation is always a
confession, Like it's always protection.Yeah. Always if someone's like, oh
you're you know, you're just Ican't trust you, blah blah blah,

(32:59):
it's because they have had this burdenof guilt that they're carrying around and the
only way they know how to dois to project it on so on on
to the other person. Yeah,they're basically saying you shouldn't trust me,
run the book away, right exactly. Wow, So so yeah, that's
uh, that's the update. Andso you know, uh, Lexie,
well I'm sorry that it wasn't uhyou know, it didn't turn out the

(33:21):
way you really want it. Inthe long run, it kind of feels
like maybe it was the best thingfor you to find out that you found
out the truth and now you canmove on and maybe find somebody will actually
take you out to dinner and youdeserve that, go on dates and you
do deserve that. Yeah. Well, before we get into our next listener
voicemail, be sure to give theDCS hotline a call. Again. This

(33:42):
is the year of the listener,so call the hotline at four oh seven
five one nine zero one eight one, or you can email us at Dating
kind of Sucks Podcast at gmail dotcom. Yes, and once again,
if you have updates, we wantupdates, Like I we'd like to hear
how things go, if you havenew questions, whatever, that'd be fantastic.
So now we have a art actuallyanother voicemail from a listener and this
one's a little interesting, so let'sgo ahead and implay it. Hi,

(34:07):
Sarah and Adam, I just wantyou guys to know I love you so
much. Thank you so much forputting this amazing gift out to the world.
My question is related to I recentlystarted dating a transman. I don't
know if dating is the right word, but we've been intimate a few times.
He is living somewhere where he didn'tgrow up in his fully transitioned to

(34:31):
life, and this is not apart of that he wants anyone to know
about him. I feel like that'sa lot of pressure for me. I'm
not sure if I should start withcounseling on the issue or how I should
approach this. I appreciate you guysshedding some light on this topic. I

(34:54):
just don't feel like I can doit directly with him at this time.
Thanks. All right, Well,this is uh, this is interesting.
So and I'm going to be tryingto be very nice in what I say
about this, but I feel likeit's very important for you to maybe try
to figure out why there's any pressureon you at all, Like your intimate

(35:20):
dealings with someone who's trans is nobody'sbusiness but yours and his. And if
he's living a transitioned life now andhe doesn't want the people in his life
to know that he's trans, that'sI mean that's his right, and that
that is that is his story toshare, not yours, obviously, and
I think you know that part,but but I do try to question why

(35:45):
why it matters to you at all? Like why do you feel like people
need to know that he's trans,Like why do you feel like it puts
any pressure on you at all?Or what? Like what you need to
talk to him about it? Becauseif you're happy with him, and you're
enjoying your time with him, andand you know and intimately things are good
and and you have other good communications, then I don't feel like there's anything

(36:06):
else that needs to be talked about. That's a that's his own storytell if
he decides he ever wants to,and if he doesn't want to, that's
okay too. So, uh,you said that maybe you should start with
counseling on the issue, and Ithink that, I mean, that might
be good for you, like onyour own to try to figure out But
I wouldn't suggest putting this pressure onhim because that's I mean, it's hard
enough for for trans people, andespecially in our country now that you know

(36:29):
just the way that they're treated,the way that they've been turned into like
a talking point for every you know, every conservative jackass in the world makes
it hard, just and it madeit hard before, but now it's even
worse. And it's a literal danger. I mean, it's a it's an
actual danger that trans people get getkilled just for being tranced. So there's
a lot of reasons that he wouldn'twant to share that, and so I

(36:49):
don't think it's good for you toput a bird on him about that.
And I would say, let maybefigure out why it's important to you and
work through that on your own,and then try to make sure you respect
his choices much as possible. Yeah, I really want to echo what you
said there, and I think he'sprobably at a point in his transition where
he feels comfortable sharing certain things andhas made the decision I'm not going to

(37:12):
go back and share with everybody.I'm going to let obviously my partner know.
But it's it's a me feeling comfortableto share that. It shouldn't concern
you at all. I'm just tryingto live my life fully transitioned and just
respecting that fact and then moving forwardwith the relationship or not or wherever you
go from there. But counsel justtalking through it with somebody else, I

(37:35):
don't. I kind of had thesame question of why is that important.
If you're comfortable with it and you'recomfortable viewing with him, then it doesn't
necessarily need to be out there foreveryone else to know, especially if he's
not putting that information out there toeveryone anyways. Yeah, and I would
try to, maybe, you know, really establish a little empathy for what

(37:58):
he's going through, because if hemoved to a new place where he was
transitioned and probably never did anything otherthan you know, I act as a
trans man and nobody knew his deadname, nobody knows you know, who
he was before in his current life. That's for a reason, and so
that's a reason worth respecting. Andwith that, we're gonna go ahead and

(38:20):
take a quick break and we getback. We can get into the topic
of yes, yes, exactly,of Simone Biles, and mister Simone Biles
will be right back. So,adam, do you know who Simone Biles
is? I do, I absolutelydo. She is the goat, She's
the greatest athlete of all time?Right, correct answer? Do you know

(38:42):
who her husband is? I haveno idea. Did you know she was
married? Before that I did,I had no idea that she was married.
Yeah, I don't know. Ithink about her personal life, but
yeah, I just who that she'sincredible, but I know, I have
no no clue whatsoever. Well,then you fall into the majority of people
who have no idea who Misterssone Bilesis and don't know his name, and
he's irrelevant to most people. Soif you're not a frequent TikTok user and

(39:07):
you've been off social media for awhile, you might not have seen the
recent drama with Simone Biles and herhusband. So I'm going to recap it
for you. For those who haven'tseen the video. The Green Bay Packers
player Jonathan Owens, which is herhusband, made some eyebrow raising comments after
candily recounting how he met Simone duringa December nineteenth interview on The Pivot.

(39:29):
So when the co host asked Jonathan, how the hell did you pull Simone
Biles, he responded, it's reallyhow she pulled me, which immediately,
Oh my god, that is sucha shit fucking answer, right, and
everyone in the video, the hostare just kind of like, what the
fuck. Uh, that's that's gonnabe your answer, and I think it's

(39:51):
a question everyone wants to know,right, like how did he pull her?
And then the pivot is just itlooks like it's like three guys just
in around chatting is what it istoo. And so yeah, and that's
funny because when he asked her,he was kind of like I gotta ask,
you know, like I gotta knowhow the hell you like he was
he was very much you know,leading up to this the way he asked

(40:12):
it too. Yeah, So thebackstory, the couple began dating in August
of twenty twenty. They matched ona dating app RAA and then he admitted
that he didn't know who she waswhen they first connected, noting he never
really paid attention to gymnastics. Whyis that? We'll get into that.
Then he realized that she was anOlympic gold medalist and she was a lot
more renowned than he thought, andhe saw that she had a bunch of

(40:35):
Instagram followers, so he was like, oh, okay, she's gotta be
good because she has a lot ofInstagram followers. So when the co host
of the podcast, Ryan Clark,asked him if he thought he was the
catch, he replied, I alwayssay that men are the catch hmmm problematic?
Oh boy? Yeah? So yeah. Since then, there have been
tons of videos of women asking theirpartner or their dads or just any man

(41:00):
the question that I just asked,Adam, do you know who someone Biles
is? Do you know who herhusband is? And most people are like,
I didn't know she was married.Who's Jonathan Owens? He seems irrelevant?
So and unfortunately in the video aswell, Simone says, in the
future people only know her as JonathanOwen's wife, and everyone's like, girl,
no fucking way is that going tobe the case. But continue to

(41:22):
be delusional in that statement, sonot just illusionable. Here's the thing in
this In the instance where he basicallyjust threw her under the bus, her
response was to support him and pumphim up like that. Her response was
was what you should do to yourpartner was to like to boost him up.
And here even after she he literallyyou know, said that and made

(41:45):
and you know, threw her underthe throne of the bus. And that
shows, you know, maybe thetwo differences in how to deal with things
like that. Yeah. Yeah,And unfortunately a lot of people on the
internet are saying she's in her midtwenties, she's married, she's just young
in an experience, and she doesn'tunderstand why this is so problematic. And
she also tweeted out or on xor whatever you want to call it.

(42:07):
She posted this image of it's alwaysTwitter. I know, I know Twitter.
Okay, she posted a tweet andsaid y'all done yet, and then
that just boosted it up again foreveryone to continue talking like, no,
we're not fucking done with this.You don't even see what the problem is.
So that's a whole other situation ofher not realizing why it was unacceptable

(42:30):
for a partner to say that.And uh, I did some digging.
It's not even digging. I justlooked on his Wikipedia page and uh,
it goes through the history of hiscareer and if you really want to know,
he went to Missouri Western State University. I don't know where the fuck
that is. He signed with theCardinals as an undrafted agent, then he
signed to a practice squad for theTexans, and now he's on the Packers.

(42:52):
He was never a first round draftpick, so people wouldn't have known
his name that way. I thinkit was like he won some award at
his college for whatever. But again, ever heard of that university? Maybe
that's on me, I don't know. And then you scroll down his Wikipedia
and his personal life, it saysOwens and seven time gold medalist Olympic gymnast
Simone Biles and goes into that,and I'm like, well, that's really

(43:13):
the important part of his story,right right exactly mister and missus Simone Biles.
Yeah, wow that Yeah, itreminds me. There there was a
TikTok of this guy doing wedding vowsand I think he probably because I know
I stitched this one where he waslike do you want to be a toaster
strudle or a Twinkie at the endof his wedding vows, and like his
mom was offended. She was theordained minister who was offended. His kids

(43:37):
were in the audience, like hisdaughters who were like young. She kind
of laughed it off, and everyonewas pointing out the well, she's laughing,
so she must be okay with it. But I was like, no,
because if you heard her vow,she thought she wasn't good enough for
him, and he very clearly thoughtthat that, like he was the catch.
And it's always like these like him, this guy this guy, especially
the wedding guy. He was nobody'scatch. But uh, it's sometimes it's

(44:00):
not it's not about the other personthem recognizing that it's toxic. You can
see toxicity and the other person canexcuse it until eventually someday they snap and
realize, oh, this is toxicbehavior. I've been putting up with this
whole time, especially and you knowwhen it gets even worse and like abuse
relationships and everything. So it's notnecessarily about how simone dealt with it,
you know, like, no,it's not supporting him. It's just something

(44:22):
to know of, like interesting,that's how she is responding. But at
the same time, maybe in thefuture she'll understand why, you know,
oh I bet, I bet asshe gets older and with more perspective and
things like that. At some pointwe'll look back and say, oh,
that was that wasn't healthy. Now, maybe maybe he'll learn. Except it
seems like he's been doubling down onit from what I looked at as well,
and and just like and really hasno understanding of why that's an issue

(44:46):
at all. And instead of like, oh, that was shitty of me,
and I mean everyone in the roomthought it was shitty of him except
him, yep. And that's thecrazy part is like all these other men
too, were not They were notimpressed by him doing that. They did
not find that to be Oh,yeah, you're so cool, dude.
Like they were like, are youa moron? Like what are you talking
about? Look at who you're withand what she's done in her life.

(45:08):
How can you possibly try to Yeah? And I did like that. I
did like that they were not aboutto put up with that shit. Yeah.
And I think his mentality probably goingon that podcast, was here's an
opportunity, someone's interviewing me. It'sall about me. And then the second
his wife got brought up, itdeflated his fucking male ego and he got

(45:28):
all defensive and had to make himselffeel better in that moment by putting her
down and seem funny to the otherbros. And it did just it didn't
work out the way that he wanted. Imagine it, kid, It absolutely
did not. One of them waslike it said to her, I said
to him, like, uh was, He's like he's trying to explain further.
And the other guy said, allright, I'm gonna let you finish.

(45:49):
But you know, like I gonnalet you finish your story, because
he's trying to say that he doesn'tknow that he does no gymnasts, He
never followed gymnastics, you know.He's like, well, you know,
I was in training camp the wholetime. I didn't really know, you
know. Okay, and then butokay, sorry, do you know who
Michael Phelps is? I don't fuckingfollow swimming, but I know who Michael
Phelps is. Come on, right, and and and all. And not
only that, but he also saidthat when she first matched with him,

(46:12):
he thought it was fake. Hethought she was a fake account. The
only reason you think she was afake account is if you knew who she
was. And so then it's eitherhe's either lying or he's just a fucking
idiot, and I think it mightbe both. But yeah, can you
imagine if it was the other wayaround and the other way around and it's
someone who's married to yeah, MichaelJordan or Peyton Manning or like you know,

(46:32):
or just like someone like that,and be like, oh, yeah,
I had no idea who he was, Like, I didn't even know
that those that was a thing,you know, like, and and nobody
would believe her. She would berun out of the industry, she would
have hate, she'd have death threatsbeing sent to her by men who are
like, how dare you not knowwho you know Michael Jordan is or whatever?
And and and it's the it's thisidea too, that why you know

(46:54):
that men's sports are somehow more important, and that that you know, men's
athletes are what matters, and soyou know that they're the people that really
that you should know their names.Yeah. What I have enjoyed about this
whole story is that both men andwomen are calling him on his bullshit.
It's not just the women saying,oh, that's fucked up, it's also

(47:15):
men going, bro, that's no, you can't. You can't say that.
I'm like, are we coming togetheron one thing? For once?
I didn't think that was possible.Even that's good, although I'm sure I
don't know crusty ass dudes out theresaying who are defending him? Probably too,
I haven't seen anything like that,Yeah, but I would believe they
exist. But yeah, so so, I mean, you know, it's

(47:37):
like, where does this start?Where does this so? Like there's so
many different different aspects of this,but I think the big one is that
the start A starting issue is avery general issue in the fact that the
athletes have more name recognition, theyget more money, they get more air
to more money, more airtime,et cetera. And it's only because men
have decided that they would rather watchsweaty men run around on a field.
And I don't think men have understoodlike that, you know, I don't

(47:59):
think ever sports fans ever really thoughtabout that, that they in their minds
that they are much more interested thanwatching And they're watching a bunch of really
fit men chase each other around afield and get sweaty and touch each other.
That's what they're really too And thenit's much mainly to do that than
to watch a bunch of athletic womenwho are like at the top of their
game, Like why would you everwant? Like that's that's their mindset.

(48:19):
And I think also toxic men havea weird pride in not knowing like popular
women of all, not just athletes, but just in general women, what
right were like, Well, Idon't, yeah, I don't know.
Any they think like it's a it'sa sign of like of a pride of
some type and that they're a realman. If they don't care about well,

(48:40):
you know, women who are successful. I did a thing where I
was talking about you know, questionsyou could ask on a dating app,
and one of them was who wasa woman that you look up to?
Uh? And who's not you're notrelated to? And so many guys would
coind of be like, I couldn'tthink of anybody. There's not a single
you know. I I don't evenlook up to men either, but you

(49:01):
know I can't. You know whatI'm like. I bet if you ask
that the same question about men,you immediately have an answer to somebody.
But you're just so proud of thefact that you couldn't you couldn't answer that
question when in reality just shows whata toxic piece of shit you are.
Well. Also, going back tothe sports thing too, men think.
I'm sure maybe Jonathan Owens would neversay this out loud, but he probably

(49:22):
thinks, well, I could bean Olympic gymnast as well, because you're
right, because I'm just as strongand I'm a man. And I saw
this video of these people were saying, do you think this high school team
could beat this w NBA team becausethey're men? And like, what the
why? Would you even put thosetwo things together and think that inexperienced players

(49:43):
could because they're women, could beatthe men or beat the women the men
could. No, you're you know, you're so right, And I would
he thinks men are always the catch. I guarantee you thinks I could do
that, Like if I tried,I could do that. Yeah, And
you know, there was a therewas just a video that just aired with
this guy who's not in it inshape, who doesn't like train or anything,

(50:06):
not really athletic challenge like an actualrunner, a woman runner to a
to a race, and she putit on her on her like on her
socials and said that she just pacedhim for the first three quarters of it
just to you know, kind ofget a good little work and just for
practice, you know, and yeah, warm up, and he and you
know, he kept up with her. And then then she decided to actually
run and then tore ahead of himfor the last quarter without even like without

(50:30):
even a problem, and he waslike holding his sides and stuff like that.
But men were shown to saying seehow well he kept up with her
for the beginning part of it,and and everything like that, and you
know, and just it's so funnyto me that that men have this need
to be like, like, youknow, I feel like women see a
man succeed as sportswriters like, ohthat's cool, Wow, that's impressive,
you know, like that's that's reallyneat, And men see a woman succeed

(50:50):
in something of sports is like Imust destroy her. How can I crush
this person's soul because they can't begood at something that I don't know how
to do, so I must bebetter somehow just because of a man.
And it's it's such a toxic mindset. Yeah. Even just the basketball standpoint
of men's basketball is more entertaining thanwomen's basketball because they score more points,
so there's just more action. I'mlike, well there's still you know,

(51:14):
they're still doing the same fucking sport. But which one gets And it goes
back to workout facilities for women versusthe men's team for the same university.
The men's is decked out with allthis extra equipment and the women have next
to nothing. I can't remember whichcompetition it was or which sport it was.
That someone took a photo and postedit on Twitter with something like it

(51:36):
was the I feel like it wasthe Olympics. Maybe it was it was
an Olympics team or so I thought. I thought it was Butter. I
remember it was a couple of yearsago. It was like a maybe last
year or the year before. Yeah, and it was terrible. It was
like such a such an awful thingthat And it's because the sponsors would rather
pay for this because once against,society has decided that men are more interesting
to watch, even though women canhave better records than the men. Like

(51:58):
the women's soccer team versus the men'sUSA soccer team, which one is has
more championships and has won more gamesthe women's, But which one would people
like prefer to talk about the men'sthe other. That's you know, it's
interesting too that you say that,because I'm also thinking, like gym's always
put like the women's workout classes onthe windows that face pedestrian traffic, and

(52:19):
then men have mirrors to look atthemselves when they work out. It's just
kind of I don't know, Idon't know if that has any relationship anything,
but it just popped in my head. I was like, that's kind
of interesting too if you think aboutit. But yeah, no, there's
the athletic aspect of this is reallyit's it's just based in society. A
society has got an issue that withwith with women athletes. They don't want
to support them that I want topromote them and if they do, like
I mean that when women's soccer becamethe best soccer team in the world,

(52:43):
m hm, so many men hadissues with that, you know, like
we're like, just oh, well, maybe so, and would then celebrate
when the women didn't do didn't doto as well the next time. And
I'm like, that's that is sofucking toxic, Like what is wrong with
you? Like how can you justnot celebrate that they were at the top
of their game and you know,and be proud and be happy for them,
Like it's it's it's pathetic behavior andit's so frustrating. Is there like

(53:07):
a weird ownership of their gender thatthey're thinking, if if one man succeeds,
all men succeed, so we mustjust stand with our gender and only
support men. I mean, isthat a mentality for a group of people?
No, because he's the same menthat when they see you, you
know, a man get an assaultedor get to get arrested for assaulting someone
they're like, well, not allmen do that, you know, So

(53:29):
they know they don't, don't,you know, they just they Here's the
thing is, society has told menthat their opinions matter. Society has told
men that what they do matters,even if they're uneducated about it, that
their thoughts and voice and actions aremore important to society, especially white men.
And so white men have grown upwith this audacity and this just feeling

(53:52):
of superiority, and so when theysee someone else succeed, they quite literally
think to themselves, I can dothat too, and I can do it
better. And the fact is,no, you fucking can't. If I
just trained for six months, Icould be as good as this person who's
an expert in her field for entirelife. But I can be just as

(54:14):
good because I have the many challengewomen boxers to fighting exactly what the challenge
women boxers are or whatever it's thefighting or MMA fighters just because they're big,
you know. The men have havejust the general but the body size,
and then they get completely destroyed.And of course they do, because
it's all you know, it's notabout just having the weight behind your punch.

(54:35):
It's about everything else too, andso but these men just they have
this thought, oh yeah, Icould beat her. That like that's their
initial immedia thought. It's not there'sno logic behind it. There's nothing except
just society. I've got the testosteronestumping their balls and being like, you're
so good, you're so good.And so that's just how they hear when
they when they see women succeed.It's disappointing, it really is. I'm

(54:57):
like, we're still not past thisas a society, and I don't don't
know how. Maybe this conversation withSimone Biles and her husband is the catalyst
of people recognizing the value of womenin sports and how amazing and talented they
actually are. But it's going totake a lot more than just this well,
and I think that's where we startgetting into the beyond sports. How

(55:20):
this is this is, this issomething that has I mean, it has
something to do with athletics in thissense, but more than that, how
it expands just into general society too, with with men feeling the need to
try to, you know, putdown their partner because they think it makes
them look better, Like they're they'remore concerned about looking looking better than they

(55:42):
are about supporting their way. Ijust don't understand that. You. I
feel like, if you're in apartnership and you're talking about your partner,
you're not gonna want to put themdown because it makes you look like a
shitty person, right, do theynot understand, Like, I don't know,
you look stronger together if you're pushing, if you're supporting and pushing your
partner forward and giving them praise versuscutting them down. Because behind closed doors,

(56:05):
I think everyone, men and womenbehind closed doors are saying, yeah,
that couple's a little fucked up,Like did you hear what he said
about her? Both men and womenin healthy relationships will recognize that, But
if you're in that relationship, you'relike, oh, that's just how he
is. Well, there's there's pressurefrom you know, all the the kind
of men's rights activist stuff, andthen they call you know that if you
are supportive of woman, you're asimp. You know, that's the the

(56:28):
the new, the new, thenew word that everybody uses. And so
because you just want, you know, you just want to fuck her?
Is that is that? What?Apparently that that's because in their mind,
that's the only reason they would supportsomeone is if they were going to fuck
them like that, that's and sothey was against projection. These men with
the emotional intelligence of rotting grapes.They they're they basically project this idea and

(56:50):
that's all they can think of.And so they're like, well, I
would only support her if I canhave sex with this. So clearly you're
trying to have sex with but beingsupportive. Same with the like, you
know, the whole calling for someonea white knight, et cetera, is
why do you have to support whydo you have to you know, defend
them? You know, are youwhat's your ulterior motive? Because they have
alterior motives. And I think there'sthat, and I think there's this.

(57:12):
There's the also highly homo erotic natureof men, of toxic masculinity, I
mean, which is it's all aboutmen impressing other men and being manly enough
that other men let them into theman club and take and give them their
man card, and it's all aboutoh, you're mainly enough too, we're
all mainly enough, we're all mainlywe don't like that, so of course
we're right right exactly, you know, And then you're mainly enough until you're

(57:36):
gay and then you're all you're gay. Now sorry, you got too manly,
now you're you know, because allthat toxic maxilinity is all about impressing
other men, and that's what theseguys subscribe to, so they they are
trying to impress their friends at theexpense of their partner, when a woman
would never do that. You know, if if you were out with your
friends and you and Roy were outof your friends and it was something that

(57:57):
you know, and it was justthere's something there's differ about, like a
little gentle teasing with each other.Obviously that's kind of like a good rapport.
Yeah, but like, you wouldnever in your ever throw Roy under
the bus to get your like you'reget a laugh, to get to get
a laugh out of some of yourfriends. You know, You're not throw
him under the bus. You justwould never be a thing. But men
would. Men do that to womenall the time, And I've seen it

(58:20):
so many times and it's it's it'sjust disgusting behavior. And I don't know
why they do it either, becauseI don't think it gets the reaction that
they are wanting. But in theirminds, they think it'll get them cool
points by shitting on their partner,But I really don't think it gives them
cool points unless they're also surrounded byother shitty men who can doone that behavior.
But in enormo of them situation wherethere's men and women there and a

(58:43):
man cracks a shitty joke, he'sjust going to get shipped on for that.
Yeah, just I mean, let'slet's look at the Golden Globes the
other night of whoever the fucking comedianwas? Are you caught up on this
drama at all? Jokoy? Iknow, I know, I just know
that his jokes weren't really landing well. But that's about it, no,
because he was like shitting on theBarbie movie, shitting on Taylor Swift,
And there are so many other wayshe could have not ship on women and

(59:07):
made a funny joke about them withoutputting them down, but instead decided to
put them down and miss like TaylorSwift's music talks about if I was a
man and Barbie was about, ohthe struggles that women face, Like you
missed the fucking plot and you stillhad to put women down to think you
were good and you realize you suck, but also you still did it anyways

(59:28):
and went on with your jokes forfor who. Yeah, that's I I
don't have to watch them of thatnow because I have seen I've seen people
talk about it well and I haveI have friends who are friends with him
because he's I mean, he's he'sa you know, relatively decent name in
comedy. But like he also startedoff going to like he was at the
Orlando Improv like to thee every otherthree or four months, but he was

(59:51):
but you know, he was,he was a he and so he worked
a lot of a lot of Orlandocomics I know, so like a lot
of them know him. So I'veseen people like give their their takes on
it. I haven't actually bothered itor try watching it yet, so I'll
have to. But that is thatis the thing. It's like I remember
he told me. I don't don'tknow if you remember, I told the
my Daytona Sunday fun Day story andI was at that bar with a guy
who like was like Taylor Swift songand just no, no, there wasn't

(01:00:15):
even tell just out of the bluejust goes I would never I would never
fuck Taylor Swift and that like outof nowhere with like nobody else, Like
he was just trying to impress everyoneat the bar with like, you know,
with his discretion, with his dick, his dick discretion, and and
when I called him out on it, he was just like ah, like
he just couldn't think. He waslike he was like why nobody thinks this
is funny? And everybody everyone's likehe's just kind of dumb dude, Like

(01:00:37):
that's just there's no reason. It'sit's like comedians punching down, like there's
no reason to make someone else feelshitty to be funny. You can be
funny without doing that. You canbe entertaining without doing that. And if
you have to throw people under punchup, you know, pick on you
know, institutions and organizations and giantcompanies. You know, you don't pick

(01:00:57):
on like the random person, theone you know, one woman who's managed
to be amazingly successful with her youknow, music, music career. You
know, like there's just nobody cannobody's going to hear that. Yeah,
And if you're trying to highlight youraccomplishments or talk about your success and potentially
grow your own personal brand. Inthe case of Simone Bile's husband, you're
never going to get there now becausenow all you're known for is shooting on

(01:01:20):
your wife on a podcast. Imean, and everybody just calls you mister
Simone bilesh like like his name willbe forgotten very quickly too. Yeah,
I mean I already forgot it.What is it? Jonathan? I know
Owen's Jonathan? Okay, I couldn'tremember his first name, like I already
I had already forgotten. Yeah.So yeah, and so let's let's let's
get into a little bit before wewrap this up about how this applies to

(01:01:42):
kind of other people about you know, maybe listeners and stuff who have this
happened. I had someone who hiredme through cameo because I do have a
cameo for some reason, and signedup because it was the thing to do.
Someone contacting me to sign up.This is actually why, by the
way, Yeah, that reached outto Ticloly like you should be on cameo.
Here's I'm a a rap. Ican get you sign up for free,
blah blah. Anyways, she contactedme in and paid me to do

(01:02:05):
a cameo to ask to tell herhusband why he should stop mocking her when
they played video games. Together onlinebecause she would play with him and play
with him with him and his friendsand they're all in their forties and she
would play with him and his friendsand he would trash talk her the entire
time, and when she would tryto talk to him about it offline,
he would say, well, I'mjust joking, like it's just this is

(01:02:27):
what we do. He just kindof, you know, he just kind
of play. You know, that'swhat that's why, that's how it goes.
And and so I literally had todo a cameo. It was like,
like listen, Bob, like that'snot acceptable, Like you you you're
you should support your spouse, andif you don't want her there, then
just tell her you don't want herthere. Don't try to belittle or nobody
thinks you're cooler because of that.That just makes you sound toxic and it
makes you sound really kind of jealous, especially if she's playing better than you.

(01:02:51):
And it was this thing that she'slike, thank you so much for
Like I just I feel like hewould listen better to a man doing that.
And so that was just a verysimilar content, except just you know,
just throwing your spouse under the busto try to get yourself kudos or
Internet points and you know, laughsand it's all, yeah, it's all,
it's exactly. So I think that'sthe big question to ask, and

(01:03:12):
we talked about that last episode too, is that if something is something does
like that does happen in your reallife that you should you know, and
they do, Oh, it's justa joke, Ask them what the joke
is? What was the joke?The joke is that I'm not good at
this one thing and so I feelinsecure that you're beating me in this video
game, right yeah, or orthat you're insecure that I'm beating you,
Like, like, what is it? What is the joke? The joke

(01:03:34):
is just that you you don't supportme? Is that the joke is?
It's it's just it's funny that you'renot supportive and you know, and see
what they say about it. Yeah, I mean imagine if Simone in this
instance would have said, what doyou mean you didn't know who I was?
Like, if she doubled down andasked that question, how would you
yeah if she yeah, exactly,yeah she if she if she had said

(01:03:57):
what do you mean? Of course? Yes? You did, like and
like, what do you even like? Do you want me to share the
text messages of all the things yousent me recently saying how how much you
know? Oh how lucky you areto be with me because I've got those
texts. Because I bet she does. I bet he is. I bet.
That's another reason he doubled down onit too, is because he has
been basically like, Wow, she'samazing, and then and telling her that,

(01:04:18):
and so then had to say thisin public to be cool. It's
unfortunate, and it's unfortunate that womennot not simon in this instance, but
like women don't recognize it or theyhave to like put up with it until
they realize, oh, this isshitty behavior and I need to get an
answer as to why they're being shittyor just leave that situation in general.

(01:04:41):
Yeah, it's just it's a furtherexample of men not liking women. You
know, it's always Yeah, Iknow, it really is. I mean,
in healthy relationships, healthy men.First of all, healthy men don't
care what other men think, likelike someone who's emotionally healthy, if they
care about what their partner thinks,like they care about repporting their partner and
loving their partner. They don't careabout what's some random dude or some you

(01:05:03):
know, bar associate or whatever.Like, they don't care about what that
person thinks about. That's not that'snot what weighs on them. They want
to make sure that their partner ishappy. Yeah, and that's what a
healthy person that. So if you'rein a relationship where your partner doesn't do
that for you, and he shitson you and when you're in public or
he you know, mocks you andsaid does that and then in the matter,

(01:05:25):
oh, this is just how Ilove just teasing. It's not teasing,
it's these are actual things that he'sthinking, and he's using this environment
to try to insult you to yourface. Yeah, and when you in
a long term relationship, you're spendingeighty ninety percent of your life with that
person and they're making those jokes andyou're like, wait, but we're supposed

(01:05:47):
to be like, you're my friendat the end of the day, and
you wouldn't talk to your friends likethat, would you. You wouldn't tolerate
a shitty friendship where someone's constantly puttingyou down. So why is my partner
saying those things to me? Andwhy am I tolerating that? That's how
he loves me. You wouldn't acceptthat if it was a friend doing that
to you. Yeah, that's verytrue. You would just stop talking to

(01:06:11):
that person. They'd be like,yeah, I don't They're not really a
friend, is what you say?To be like, absolutely, I don't
really think this person is my friendanymore. I really don't think they are.
I don't think they like me,because if they like me, they
wouldn't be saying these things. Yeah, I think that maybe a way to
combat this. If you're in arelationship with this, there's a couple of
things you can do. I thinknumber one is to actually ask them why
is this okay? Like why doyou think it's okay to do this?

(01:06:31):
And really breaking down with them,and maybe if they don't really have an
answer, maybe suggest couples counseling totalk about that in front of someone professionally.
I think that could be a goodthing to do. The other thing
I can do, too, isto say, ask his friends in front
of him, Hey, guys,do you think this is funny? When
he does this to me? They'regoing to say no. Do you think
they're going to say no? They'regonna be like, yeah, no,
it's kind of shitty, dude,And I think that that's something that it

(01:06:55):
is very uh, would be verytelling and might actually sober him up to
realize, oh, this is I'mdone like I'm an idiot. We need
more public shaming. We need toget back to that, because really asking
spot on what's the joke or isthis funny or is this acceptable in front
of a group of people, becauseon one on one they can weasel their

(01:07:15):
way out to a degree and say, oh, well, just just but
if you ask in front of hispeers, he's gonna shit his pants and
go, oh, I fucked up. I shouldn't have said this, And
now my friends think I'm a fuckingloser too. And the reason he made
that joke was to appear cooler,so that matters so much to him that
now he'll never Now he knows toa degree that's not cool and I should

(01:07:36):
not do that again. And sometimessometimes men have to learn by really falling
on their faces and going I fuckedup. Well, that's the thing because
when men like that are obsessed withimpressing other men, it takes other men
shaming them for them to do better. And that's unfortunate. It shouldn't be
like that, but that is sometimesthe case. So we need more men

(01:07:58):
out there to shame men and theirshitty behaviors, is really what you're saying.
Yeah, that has always been avery important thing, is that men
need to speak up when they seeshitty things. And if if you're with
a group of people and someone's intrashing their spouse, like why that's not
funny? Like, sorry, Idon't find I don't find that funny.
Why would you say that? Yeah, I'm sorry, what's the joke?

(01:08:18):
What's you're dealing? And do thatto him and put him on the spot
and he'll realize it, and youknow, and then maybe he has other
friends or then the people in thegroup will be like, yeah, dude,
that's really not fun and you dothat, I wish you wouldn't do
that. And that goes back tothis whole situation with mister Simone Biles,
because all the men, there's somany men out there saying, yeah,
no, he shouldn't have said that. That's fucked up. What do you

(01:08:41):
mean you didn't know her? It'snot just women, And I think that's
so much more effective in the situationfor him to go, oh, I
did fuck up, but you willnever say. In fact, the fact
that he's still doubling them out onit too after all, like so many
men coming out too, is reallyblowing my mind. Yeah. I mean,
and the guy's in the interview literallylike calling him out on it like
they were not and pressed either,and I feel like he really, you

(01:09:01):
know, maybe there's a reason hewas never a draft pick or any other
he just does not room. Yeah, I don't know. I mean,
I'm not going to disagree with youon that one. Yeah. Well so,
yeah, hopefully you're not a relationshiplike this. If you are,
and you can tell us about it, we'd like to maybe, you know,
offer some advice. You can callour call our hotline if you'd like
to at four oh seven five onenine zero one eight one, or email

(01:09:25):
us at Dating kind of Sucks Podcastat gmail dot com with any questions or
even topic ideas, like if youhave ideas of something you'd like to hear
us discuss, whether you want tohear us debate it because we'll disagree,
or you just think it'll be interestingto hear us breaking down. We'd love
to hear your topic ideas too,And what do you think about this episode
and this controversy with Simone Biles andher husband sound off in our Facebook group

(01:09:45):
at Facebook dot com slash Groups slashdcs podcast, and then as far as
just the podcast goes, be sureto engage with us on social media.
You can follow our Instagram at datingkind of Sucks. You can watch us
on YouTube at YouTube dot com slashit kind of sucks, or you can
respond to whenever Adam gets active onTikTok again. I think that'll be a
big deal. You can follow Adamat Adam Avitable on TikTok or myself at

(01:10:10):
simply Sarah ge And for any ofthe shitty men out there in your life
who need a reality check, pleaseshare this podcast with them. Please make
them listen to like the second halfof this episode and go I think you
would really find this information valuable,and you might first send them last episode
where we were the one we tellmen when they should shut the fuck up,
and then send then send them thisone, so yeah, they can

(01:10:30):
they can not to be quiet andlisten to this one too. See,
you need to just be quiet thenext two ones. Yeah, and if
you we are the New Year twentytwenty four, we would love for listeners
who are new to leave us afive star rating and review on iTunes.
iTunes are still very important way torate podcasts, so please take the time
to do so. That makes avery big difference. Won't take you more

(01:10:50):
than three minutes to do, probablyunless you write a really long one.
And on Spotify you can also thumbsup a podcasts in episodes as well,
so that would be right. Andwe're gonna be getting back to making bonus
episodes on Patreon, So thank youfor our patrons who have stuck with us.
Obviously to the holidays. We're kindof slow, you know, slack
off on that, but you'll getbonus content that's for five bucks a month.

(01:11:13):
You can support us and support everythingwe do here at patreon dot com
slash DKs podcast And with that,I think that sums up all of the
ship talking we have this week.Yes, and we'll be back with a
birthday episode. For me, itwill be my birthday for when I next
next episode comes out, so uh, we'll see how that goes. But
until until next time. Wait,should I not say that I just said

(01:11:34):
your part? I don't like that? Do you have to say something else
instead? I won't say it again. I'll say until that, I'll say
uh, in two weeks, I'lltalk to you that until next time.
Whether you're merried or worrying on Wismer'sback your plate, listen to us and
be getting a tender brin bubble andplenty of young trying and trying and having

(01:11:57):
to buck because we all know datingkind of sucks. Sarah and Adam are
due a kind says stupid shit andshe doesn't mind. They're not doing with
this son to make any fuck lifeas a chickenoos fethers say buck, why
does it work? We'll hear withthe fruck because they both know dating kind

(01:12:19):
of sucks. Dating kind of sucks

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