The Perfect Woman

Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm AdamHeath Vittible. This is the dCas Podcast,
a podcast about love, sex,culture, and society. This week
we'll be talking about all the traitsthat make up the perfect woman. Enjoy
the show whether you're married or single, or poll or a bar hanging on

(00:22):
wismaner's back at your place. Listento us and be getting buck a tender
and mubble of plenty of youngs tryingand trying and happen to luck because we
all know dating kind of sucks.Social media is filled with tips and tricks
for how you can improve your life, but it's also filled with projection by

(00:42):
in cells who manufacture standards that theycouldn't live up to if they had one
hundred years. When it comes tothe perfect woman, is it subjective,
objective or a combination of the two, And how do you, as a
woman figure out who you want tobe? But before we get into what
makes a perfect woman? By today'sstamp, we're going to catch up with
you, give you the inside scoopon what's been going on in our personal

(01:03):
lives, and answer a call froma listener. That's right, we still
have the DCS hotline available and youcan call and leave us voicemail right now
at four oh seven five one ninezero one eight one. Do you have
a relationship question, a dating issue, or even sometime of interpersonal communication question
you want to talk about, giveus a call or email us at Dating

(01:23):
kind of Sucks podcast at gmail dotcom today. So, Sarah, I
know you've actually were traveling, butnow you're home again. So kind of
what's been going on? We tookwe took a little break. We took
a little hiatus which I thought mightlast the whole summer, but it didn't.
We're in the table. We neededa record. We're like, we
can't do what we have to record. So we enjoyed a couple weeks off.
But what have you been up to? Let's see, So since coming

(01:46):
home from Argentina, I've been homefor probably a month and a half at
this point. It's been very chill. I hosted a little summer party with
my friends one Saturday in June andthat was nice to have all my friends
over and get set up on theback porch, and that was the whole
Other thing is doing a lot ofoutside clean up with the yard. I
know you have a yard now ayard. Yeah, so Susie homemaker over

(02:08):
here, just cooking and cleaning thebackyard and hosting things. So I've I've
been tapping into that. Obviously.I haven't given up my estate sale obsession
either, so been doing that onthe weekends. And recently Roy's been gone
for the past week, and he'llbe gone this week too with a work
trip. So I've just been hangingat home alone, just enjoying this big

(02:29):
ass fucking house by myself. Andhonestly, I kind of get why he
likes when I'm gone for a month. I'm not complaining. It's actually kind
of nice. Well, as Isaid, and it's more than him just
started to work trip. Before that, he actually went to the family cabin
in Maine that he loves, butwithout you for the first This is the
first time since you guys have beentogether that he went without you. Right,

(02:49):
that's not true. No, hewent another when you first started dating,
right or I no? Because Ithink I go every other year.
It's kind of my groove. SoI went last year, and then the
year before I didn't go, andthen the first year I did, So
it is what it is, Ithink, because we're going to go to
Paris next week. It was alot of flying back and forth, especially
flying from Argentina back home, thatI really just wanted to one. I

(03:14):
wanted to save money because just theflight over to Maine was going to be
around seven hundred dollars, so Iwanted to save that money for Paris.
And then also just the travel ingeneral takes a toll on my body.
So being able to just chill andrelax and honestly enjoy the Seattle summer,
which is why I pay so muchfucking money to live here, That's what
I wanted. So I'm not madthat I've been here this whole time and

(03:35):
he's kind of been out and about. Yeah. Yeah, did it did
get a little hot there though,right? Because did you get one of
those little AC units like I suggested? I didn't. No. I didn't
want to spend one hundred and fiftydollars, but I will spend that on
a sweater. I know you'll buya pair of shoes, but you won't.
You won't buy a fucking air conditioningunit, so you when it gets
hot. For two fucking days,we had hot weather, and I had

(03:57):
worth it. I had two fans. It was okay. You have to
understand, my mother and stepfather didnot use the air conditioning when I lived
in Florida, and my room thatI was in was in the back corner
of the house that did not geta lot of ventilation, so they wouldn't
bump the AC. It would onlygo up to seventy eight. They would
never bring it down to anything.He was always at fucking seventy eight degrees.

(04:23):
And on top of that, myroom was hotter than seventy eight degrees.
So I'm trying to straighten my hair, do my makeup or whatever,
fucking sweating, no matter what timeof year, in my bedroom, trying
to get ready, and it wasawful. So I am somewhat The humidity
I'm not as used to anymore becauseI've been out of it, but I'm
pretty used to being in a warmerhouse because I've spent twenty something years of

(04:43):
my life in a hot fucking house. So that's not the end of the
world to me. It's funny enough. Roy was complaining before he left of
how hot it was in the house, and it was seventy four degrees,
and I'm like, shut the fuckup, it's fine in here. He's
like, it's so hot. I'mlike, what are you talking? I
have never I'm going to stay withyou. That sounds miserable. I did
my my family. I think mydad was really strict about it. But

(05:06):
we had two thermostats, so becausethe house was originally one part and they
built a whole second wing to it, and so he checked that thermostat a
lot, but the one on myside of the house, I would go
and I would turn it down allthe time, and then he would just
like yell at everybody. But becausehe did, I was upstairs and they
got hot, and like that's it'sbeen nice about this little apartment because it

(05:27):
is you know, it's only whatnine hundred square feet or something like that.
It's not huge. I've got myAC set at sixty seven and have
not touched it since I think thewinter, Like it was set to sixty
seven for the heat set and thenonce it started getting cool enough, and
it's just great, Like it's cold. The only time it's it's a like
an issue is when I get outof the pool and I walk in here
and then it's like fucking frigid.You know, yeah, it's too cold.

(05:51):
But otherwise I love it. It'sbeen it's been great because it's been
fucking one hundred degrees here, fairenough. So yeah, so you're you've
been enjoying Seattle. You've been you'regetting ready to leave, which, obviously,
just so listeners know, we're notgonna have an episode for probably another
month. Yeah, that's probably fair. Yeah, this is our this is
our back from break ha. Justthe lie will be gone again, just

(06:12):
gone again because you leave for Parisnext week. Yeah, and so I
think we'll just we're just coming inand just real quick and then we'll be
back in August with the next episode. But exactly. That's exciting, though.
Are you excited about Paris? No, yeah, of course I should
have. As I asked a question, I was like, of course,
you know, you haven't even startedthinking really about it yet. But I
think this weekend I'll start thinking aboutit when I have to start packing.

(06:34):
But it's not gonna hit me untilRoy gets home and I leave. We
leave a week from tomorrow, soreally it's still the nitty gritty of some
of the planning things, and Ithink why I'm annoyed right now, I'm
so sorry, Mom, I keepbringing you up in this episode, and
she's gonna be so mad if she'slistening. But she has been driving me
insane because we use this app.Now I'm getting onto my travel side of

(06:57):
my brain right now. Whenever Itravel with a group of people, we
use this app called split Wise,And especially when you're traveling in other countries
in a bigger group, restaurants donot split the checks. A lot of
places won't split the checks, sosomeone's got to pick up the one check,
or you're at the table trying toexchange money between everyone, and it's
a hot damn mess. I don'tknow if you've been in that situation before,

(07:17):
but it's low key embarrassing and takesa lot of time myself. Okay,
well yeah, you go by yourself, but if you're in a big
group, it's just a huge assle. So instead of that, use this
app called split wise, and I'llpick up the check one time, but
I add in everybody's expenses of whatthey ordered or whatever, and then the
next time someone else picks up thecheck. So at the end of the

(07:39):
day it all kind of evens outand you really only oh, you know,
you owe someone money for the excessamount. Well, my mother doesn't
like downloading new applications on her phonebecause she's afraid of the Internet. And
she's not even sixty. She's justafraid of the Internet. I have to
pause you right here before we gocontinue to ain't a picture of Sarah in

(08:01):
the year two thousand and like,let's say eighteen, who couldn't download new
apps to her phone because her phonewas full. Sure, but my phone's
not full now and I have I'mjust saying I was also broke, so
I couldn't afford the extra ten dollarsa month to increase my gigabytes or whatever.
So give me. Yeah, I'mI'm just saying, I'm just saying

(08:22):
like that, you know, Solike let's have it. Let's be a
little relaxed on your mom. Surebecause your phone, your phone was too
fucking full to have another app,all right, So sure it's you know,
yeah, all right, But she'snot wanting to download a couple of
apps that she's going to need aroundParis. So that's been stressing me out
this week, just getting her onboard. And we're trying to settle everybody's

(08:43):
expenses because we we purchased like ticketsto the Loover tickets to this and that
already, and I kind of wantto clear out those expenses and have everyone
pay each other back before the trip, because I know we're gonna have a
bunch of restaurant charges once we getover there. So that's been that's my
brain of trying to settle some thingsout before we get on the flight.

(09:03):
Yeah, and it'd be different ifit was just me, Roy and one
other person, but it's five ofus in total, which just adds the
other complexity of there's two couples ofmy mom and so of course Roy and
I are trying to figure out whatwe're gonna do just the two of us,
But then it low key feels like, well, someone's got a babysit
mom, so she's not alone.So my sister and I have joked of,

(09:26):
oh, we're going to take turnsbabysitting Mom when you know the other
couple wants to go out and dosomething that the rest of the group doesn't
want to do. And I thinkthat's just gonna be the dynamic of it.
It'll definitely be an interesting situation becauseI haven't traveled with family like this
in a very very long time.I mean, I haven't been an adult
traveling like this. I've traveled withmy sister and her boyfriend before when we

(09:46):
went to Mexico City, but addingmy mom into the loop is just going
to add a different dynamic. Sothat'll be interesting. But I'm just I'm
a little stressed about that. Andthen I'm just stressed about making sure everything's
good to go before we get overthere, because I know once we're over
there and things aren't planned, it'sjust going to be fuckery upon fuckery,
and I'm trying to avoid that.So that's why I'm not excited right now.

(10:07):
I'll get I'll be excited once Iget on the plane and I'm in
the lounge and I have a fuckingdrink in hand, I think as well,
I'll be excited. Yeah, Ican see that, and like,
I know it's gonna be it's gonnabe a cool trip. You're gonna have
lots of really cool experiences doing it. I also know there's gonna be a
couple of times that I might evenget a call from sure, from you,
for sure, what I would whatI would say. The one piece

(10:28):
of advice that I'll give to youis that when you're there and things are
getting like whatever your mom's saying aboutoh, you know, trying to split
it and she doesn't want to,but it gets frustrating. Just fucking pay
it and worry about it later,you know what, Like Like yeah,
like that's not the time to worry, like, you know, honestly,
like when you start like stressing out, you just just fucking pay it.
You can, guys can figure itout later. There's plenty of time after

(10:50):
your home to figure it out,you know what I mean. Like getting
into a little the little petty argumentsthere is going to be more stressful for
you than anyone else that I thinkthat I'll drive you crazy. So you
better have sometimes just being like beingthe bigger person and just be like,
I got it, don't worry aboutit. I'll file it away later.
You have, you have your records, you'll be able to check through later
and say here's the amounts. Yeah. I think that is what stressed me

(11:11):
out because I'm thinking, in mymind, Roy will pick up a meal,
then my sister will pick up ameal, then my mom. And
my mom was already like I don'thave the money to pick up a meal,
and I'm like, what do youmean so then that's where the arguments
have had. I'm like, that'sjust the system. She's like, well,
I don't have all the money.I was like, it all evens
out, and then we start spiralinginto an argument, and I'm like,
oh, yeah, right. Royalways tells me and sorry, mom.

(11:33):
Roy always tells me, is like, you should be nicer than your mother.
My mom euson tells me that.I'm like, I don't think I'm
being mean. I'm just being reallystern and like this is how we're doing
it the end. It's a littlebit more sensitive when it comes to that.
And also she's freaking out a lotthat she's not going to be safe
or she's going to get lost.And I was telling her, I was
like, mom, both of yourdaughters have traveled a lot. My sister

(11:56):
used to do a lot of internationaltraveling in college, and then like right
after call even still now and thenof course myself. So I think she's
if she's going on a big triplike this, I think she's in good
company that things will be fine,and I keep reminding her that. But
I think because there's no one herage who's kind of leading it, and
it's the younger people she's a littleworried, but I'm not concerned at all.

(12:18):
Have you turned on Find my Friendsor put on her life that?
Make sure you do that with hertoo, because that way you can find
her if she gets lost, you'llbe able to find her. Especially with
the Olympics being there with so manypeople, might not be a bad idea
too, to be able to figureout where she's in the crowd. Are
you guys doing like an international planfor your phones? Planning on it?
Yeah? Yeah. At first Iwas thinking, Oh, I'll just connect

(12:39):
to Wi Fi. Whenever I waslike, that's gonna be a fucking shit
show, especially if I'm gonna needa need to pull up a ticket really
quickly and then connect to internet andthen there's a line or whatever. I
just think that's going to be ahuge assele. So I'm just gonna pay
the extra whate hundred dollars to havean international plan when I'm there and just
not worry about it. I think, Yeah, it's definitely worth especially with
the Olympic crowds. The size ofthose crowds, he means that the Wi

(13:00):
Fi will probably not be reliable aswell. Yeah, agreed, but this
will be this be a interesting storyto hear when you get back to it.
I'm looking forward to hearing it.As long as she was talking about
what if my purse gets slashed bya pickpocketer, someone was telling me I
need chicken wire in my bag,I'm like, what the fuck are you
talking about? No, you don't. You'll be fine if someone takes a

(13:22):
knife to you. I think wehave bigger problems than just pickpocketing. Okay,
yeah, and honestly, yeah,maybe you know you have to.
Yes, in some areas you haveto be careful about things like that.
But that's also why you're just vigilantabout what you do. You know,
make sure you hold don't wear flashyjewelry. Wear all your handle persons.
You don't wear like the ones,the ones that like drape. You know,
you don the big long ones.You have the ones that are close

(13:45):
right right, Yeah, yeah,you wear a cross body bag all.
You don't wear flashy jewelry. Imean, I've had friends get robbed in
Brazil and other countries because they werewearing apple watches and fancy things and it
was just like ripped right off ofthem as they were talking to whoever the
person was they were easily pickpocketed becausetheir attention was towards something else and they
were able to just like take itoff the wrist. So don't wear that

(14:07):
shit. I'm gonna wear my eightdollars ring that I don't care if anything
happens, you know what I mean. I'll wear jewelry, but nothing that
I'm going to be heartbroken if somethinghappens to it. Yeah. Yeah,
well you know this, like Isaid, will be interesting experience. Yeah,
I'll keep you posted. Yeah yeah, oh yeah, And I was
gonna pretend like I actually, uhwatch watch this show, and I was

(14:28):
gonna be like, hey, didn'tI see you on Good Morning America the
other day? Yeah? I knowyou didn't. You only know because you
encouraged me to get on Good MorningAmerica because I wasn't going. But yes,
yeah, if listeners were paying attentiona couple of days ago, probably
what it was Friday or Thursday,it was like Wednesday, Thursday of last
week. Yeah, well Wednesday lastweek, so yeah, yeah, they
on Good Morning America. They dida segment that you were on screen talking

(14:52):
head for a minute time, wellten seconds, not even a minute,
ten seconds. But you know,my family, I was very proud.
Honestly, somebody just reached out tome through Instagram DMS. He had kind
of a sketch profile, and heeven admitted that he had a sketch profile
because I was like, is thislegit? And I was sending it to
you. I'd posted it to acouple of friends and everyone was like,

(15:16):
yeah, this is kind of notlegit, and You're like, eh,
maybe it is. What's the worstthat could happen. They're not asking for
your Social Security numbers, so youshould be fine. Correct. So I
gave them permission to use my tiktokswhen I was in Alaska, and then
it turned into well, will youhop on a zoom with our producer and
answer a couple of questions and thosequestions could be put into our reel for

(15:37):
tomorrow morning's newscast. And I waslike, yeah, sure, fine,
whatever. I didn't know the questionsgoing in at all, so I wasn't
exactly sure the angle, except forI knew they were going to talk about
Alaskan cruising and over tourism in thatarea. So they asked me, you
know, probably ten questions, andthey used two of the answers that I
gave which was totally cool, andyeah, I mean it was cool.

(16:00):
It was cool, but like nowthat it happened and fun fact, watching
this on YouTube right now is whereI'm going to actually play that video.
So if you're listening to this andnot watching it to maybe go check out
the YouTube, I'm wanta gohead andplay the video right now. Well lovely
video. Yeah, yeah, Ihad to share it, So that's my

(16:22):
claim to fame. Now, Iwas on Good Morning America for a whole
ten seconds talking about travel. ButI think it was cool. It was
a cool experience. It also remindedme a lot of when I was interviewing
to be on a reality TV showa couple of years back, just the
interview process of all of that,and then it had me thinking, Wow,
I could have been on a realityshow, but I'm not, And
I want to know. I knowthat that would have been such a crazy
thing if that had happened. Yeah, but probably for the best that it

(16:45):
did, honestly. Yeah, I'llI was so worried and I Adam knows
this, but I was so worriedthat they were going to use my answers
to twist me into this terrible personon air, because that's how my mind
was when I was doing all thesereality shows they were type casting me for
something. I'm like, well,what if I say this and they cut,
make a cut and make me seemlike a bad person for however,

(17:06):
I answer it Adams like it's thenews. They're not trying to do that,
They're trying to look for a solidanswer, And I was like,
Okay, I guess that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like
it's the news. Is that likesome random person like on the street,
like trying to get laughs for JimmyKimmel or something like that, right,
Like, yeah, so I'm gladyou do that. That's pretty cool though.
Yeah, you know, maybe they'lljust start referring to you for their

(17:27):
for all their travel, travel influenceand needs. I mean, hey,
that'd be cool, but I don'tthink that's gonna happen. Who knows.
I mean with the Paris Olympics,Pari's Olympics, if some shit goes down
and I'm there, I'm your correspondenton the ground who's outside of gm A,
because I know they're going to havetheir people there obviously, but you
never know. Yeah, I woulddefinitely keep keep recording all your stuff there.

(17:52):
Well, that's uh, that's great. It's been been busy for you.
It's been busy for you too,mister. I have a green beard,
I do. I have a verygreen bead right now. It is
like emerald green, I would say, and uh, And I have green
fingernails and toenails. Why is that? And I'm still I'm still finding pieces
of green body glitter when I everyevery even after showering for several days.

(18:15):
Did you celebrate Saint Patrick's Day again? Why do you think? No?
I? You know, I decidedI was an all star and I wanted
to be an all star and Ialso am a layered human being with lots
of layers, like an onion.Ah. And so they had It's a
traveling show, a Shrek Rave Andit was here last last Friday at this

(18:38):
this place called Cane's Ballroom, whichis a really cool venue, very and
for my first time being there.And I when I I had heard about
this a couple of months ago,and I had told kind of my local
group of friends people that I hangout with here. I was like,
we need to we need to dothis, and they're like, yeah,
let's do it. We're gonna dressup and you have to dress up and
you don't have to, but likeit's strongly in cards that you come in

(19:00):
some type of you know, costume, which I don't you know, I
generally don't like doing. I know. It was just surprising that you're like,
yeah, let's go to the rave, the Shrek Rave and dress up.
I was like, you know,I'm in a new place. Let
me try something new that I wouldnever otherwise do. And I also talked
to my best friend Lisa, whopeople know came out in December or January

(19:21):
of this year, and I toldher about it. She's like, oh,
I'm coming out for that. Soshe she flew out on Thursday,
and then a big group was Ithink like eight of us all went to
the Shrek Rave, which was fuckinginsane. It was good, Yeah,
lame, it was good. Itwas not lame. It was very fun.
Lots of lots of dancing, lotsof people and some in lame costumes,

(19:42):
some in pretty elaborate costumes. Youknow. Of course I had Shrek,
so I had in addition to thegreen Beard, I had the little
ears, I got a headband,I had green sunglasses, and then I
had a green mesh shirt, whichI felt like went well with the rave.
Sure. Yes. And then Ijust wore like cargo shorts because he's
kind of just wearing like peasant pants, you know, like right and sandals.

(20:04):
And then Lisa went as a asthe Mirror, which I really like.
She just basically took a white facemask you're playing, like a white
mask you'd use it, and attachedit to a mirror so it looked just
kind of like the mirror, andthen just wore around her neck with a
chain. And then we were allblack and it was it was pretty.
It was pretty perfect for it.And then we had a couple other couple

(20:26):
of Fionas that went with us.One one moment, well Fiona, Oh
yeah no, I was as ShrekFiona. Basically it was like not green
any green collar, but like greenhair and stuff like that. H green
hair, no red hair, youknow what. Yeah, maybe I said
there was Shrek Fionda, but theycould have just been any Fida now that
I think, because I don't thinkthey had green on them, so they

(20:47):
I think they were just Fiona's.And then I felt bad for one woman
who was the She went as theGingerbread. The gingerbread man, which I
thought she was gonna do like ajust like a little bit of face makeup
and then like buttons on her shirt. But she actually had a gingerbread man
onesie, which was cute, itwas adorable, except it was also one
hundred fucking degrees. It was soshe I think she lasted about probably half

(21:11):
an hour at the rave wearing itbefore she she had it outfit, you
know, underneath it basically that shecould just wear that instead. But yeah,
I saw lots of really cool costumes. What were the lame costumes if
you don't mind me asking, Well, I thought, like the I mean,
well they were only lame per se, but like the three blind mice
were just easy. So people wearingblack sunglasses with white T shirts and canes,
you know, like and so thewell, like lots of yeah,

(21:32):
lots of groups of three people thatthey're just wandered around like that, you
know, and then some people thatjust had like a Shrek T shirt on
or something like that. You know, yeah that's not really a costume at
that point, but not really notreally a costume. Yeah, And so
the main reason I actually dressed upwas because our friend Kelsey, who was
on here two years ago as aguest when when she talked, she was
the executivessistant for Larry Flint. Shewent to it and because she never chatting

(21:56):
and I in Los Angeles and Iwas telling about she goes. You know,
I didn't dress up, and Ireally wished I had like that.
That really felt a big difference.So I definitely went and did that.
And I was so sore the nextday. Like I'll tell you. I'll
tell you just from a dance.I dance. I danced some I dance.
Some dancing looks like for you,well, it's a rave so it's

(22:18):
you're not really dancing too much,kind of pumping and moving up and then
and then and then I got convincedto kind of drop it and yes,
I told you what. You dropit down and then dance down on your
knees, you know what I mean, Like not on your nees, but
like as you're squatting and dancing,are you doing a death drop? I
don't know what it's called. It'swhen you drop down and then pop back

(22:42):
up again. And like it's likeI'm not going to only because I'm still
so sore that I think I mightnot be able to get back up again.
I would drop down and then justfall over and then I'd have to
crawl to my chair. It's astraight drop down to your knees. You
think about like when like there's likekind of hip hop playing and you kind

(23:03):
of drop and then kind of makingyour booty pop a little bit when you
drop down, Like okay, butyou're like, oh my god, you're
doing the fucking Tina Belcher right nowfrom the Bob Burgers. I'm trying to
figure out how high the camera isand like if I have, are you
like actually shaking your ass and thenyou drop your knees down you just kind

(23:26):
of drop down and then shake andthen and then down. When you're down
and you're not on your knees,you're like squatting, you know, you're
like down, yes like that,yes, yeah, yeah, okay,
so you're still on like the ballsof your feet, yes, yes,
and basically doing that and then pop, yeah of course, then you shake
your butt and then of course,of course yes, yes, call me

(23:47):
fucking Tina Belcher over here. Well, the first movie you did was I
was trying to figure out what thefuck you were doing. Hopefully, now
the audience has some idea from thatdescription. But okay, what is that
called? Is there is there aname for that? Then you would call
it not a formal dance move.I don't know. Drop it like it's
hot, Sure, pop and drop. I don't know. You're on the

(24:08):
balls of your feet, crouched downand then you popping, sure, and
then you butt pop up. Yeah, you put yours back and shake your
ass all the way up. Yeah, I think that. Yeah, I
didn't. I didn't do much ofthat money honestly to see it. Just
to see you actually from the groundshaking your ass all the way up,

(24:29):
I paid. Well, it doesn'thappen very fat. I go down up
pretty quickly because I know I don'thave much time. But but it's still
just you know, do that afew times, just you know, I
do that enough that I was sore. Yeah, maybe it's maybe at some
point if I feel luckily nobody's evergotten video of this, because it's happened
multiple times now, because now myfriends are like, oh my god,
you gotta see Adam do this,and so because nobody's expecting me. You

(24:51):
know, I'm six foot three hundredand sixty pound guy who's dropping down to
the ground and popping back up again. Like nobody's figuring that I can do
that. You know, it's notreally what you'd expect. Okay, So
now your friends just need to recordyou anytime there's apparently I'm just glad that
they have not. Ye, they'reusually drunk, so we're usually all drunks,

(25:11):
so nobody thinks to get their phoneout, and it only takes it's
only a matter of fifteen seconds,so I'm not giving anybody time to record
it either. You know, yousaid you were slow on the way up,
but okay, a little slow.But yeah, if it's too slow,
then I'm not getting up, that'sthe problem, so you know.
So yeah, but it was,it was overall, it was it was.
It was a blast. It wasnice to even leasa here, went

(25:32):
out and saw a bunch of otherbars and stuff like that, and when
drinking, and yeah, we're alla really really solid weekend that I'm still
kind of recovering from. My voicesare still a little, uh, a
little rough from just I think justtalking and everything through the noise, yelling,
but yeah, yes, yelling anduh and of course the a couple
of the bar there's still bars herethat have smoking. Okay, that ballroom

(25:56):
doesn't, the Rave didn't, butthere's a lot of bars and tells that
still have smoking. So we wentto a bunch of those on Sunday from
like three until three. Yeah,it was something like that. Like I
feel like I think we got homeat like one thirty or two maybe.
Yeah, So what else? Whatelse besides your dance moves and drinking dance

(26:17):
drinking that I've actually been I've actuallybeen going on some dates since since we
I mean we kind of took abreak and I hadn't really talked much about
it, but yeah, I hadended up getting some matches and communicating with
people. Have been not on afew dates with a few different people.
At one point, they were gettingto be too many and it was not
on purpose, and I was kindof hearkening back to the original days of

(26:37):
the podcast when I was We talkedabout the fact when I had the spreadsheet
of fourteen different names on it.It did not it did not reach that
level. But there was at onepoint, I think eight people that I
had like matched with and we're havinggood conversations and maybe had gone out with
as well. Maybe once you know, once or twice was trying to figure
out and then other people are tryingto play dates. A lot of those

(26:59):
have gone by the wayside, notresponding or planning the next they're running,
or we didn't plan that, youknow, we we didn't plan the next
day we had. I went ona date with one person. It went
really well. The first date wasit was great, everything was you know,
I think we got along really well. And then I was showing her
bumble profile to my group of friendsand one of them said, oh my

(27:23):
god, I know her and sheis one of the most evil human beings
in my life that I've ever had, that I've ever experienced, and one
of the most toxic people and toldme this is just whole story about her.
And I was like, Okay,well, I don't think I'm gonna
like necessarily, you know, likeI wanted to hear back from her anyways,

(27:44):
but I'm not going to actively pursueher anyways. And so yeah,
I haven't actively pursued her because Iwas like, I'm not I'm not going
to because it just, first ofall, if this friend is here too,
and I'm like, it just feelsawkward, and I do. I
was like I was curious. Iwanted to go out with her to kind
of like be so tell me,like I know, so and so what
happened? Yeah, yeah, yeah, tell me in your own words.
But since she kind of stopped,like either didn't respond or it just kind

(28:07):
of you know, I don't know. I don't know what's ghosting. I
think we're still even actually matched onbubble just a mutual ghost Yeah, I
think it's something like that. I'mjust I'm going to leave it be.
Yeah, and then I yeah,I bet I want somebody that. We
got along really well. We wentout, I had had one date and
then we went to a did aphoto shoot in the middle of a junk
yard that was a lot of fun, and abandoned junk yard for a second

(28:30):
date. By the way, indating advice world, don't do that fucking
shit, Why are you doing that? Because I'm me, I don't listen
to my own advice. What areyou talking about? And that enables everyone
else not to listen to their own. But that's been fun, and we've
we've been on a couple more timesjust then. With schedules and things,

(28:51):
it's been hard to like kind ofcoordinate everything and then there was there's somebody
else that that I haven't actually beenout with. We've been just been chatting
for like I want to say,like a month. Just schedules have become
an issue. And then there's thethird one. So say that there's three
right now that I'm like actively communicatingwith. Okay, so three women option

(29:17):
number one? What's going on withWho's number one? And I'm not trying
to rank them? Well, I'mtrying. You can't have three forever,
let's be real, No, Iknow, but right now, like we're
still at that kind of really earlystage. They're all seem very interesting and
I enjoy talking to all of them. That there's one that I can't figure
out, and that's the third one. It's interesting and I can't figure out

(29:41):
because like there's absolutely no way onpaper that we should be getting along,
Like it just doesn't make any sense. She is all about health and wellness.
She does not own a television.She gets up at like six am
and does a full ice bath everymorning to kind of shock herself into like

(30:06):
to get her dopamine levels up,and does these like I can't remember the
name of some type of eye dropsthat she said are very painful, but
they like activate, they activate likeyour Yeah, they activate something, and
so they her it's her morning,you know, routine. What in the
scientology, No, not like it'sscience. She's like, well to say,

(30:27):
you know, the actual science,you know. But she doesn't drink
she doesn't. She doesn't really doanything with like gluten or sugar. She
doesn't drink caffeine. And she reallydoesn't stay out past like nine o'clock at
night. Like she's very Yeah,she kind of right around yours and I

(30:49):
think she says she likes to tryto be home and starting to get ready
for better around nine, like it'skind of her goals to you know.
So, how the fuck are weactually geting along? Is the first question,
you know, But we've we've beenout multiple times and it's gone well
every time. Okay, but okay, let's let's talk about the differences of
the things that you called out.Not having a TV not the biggest issue

(31:14):
in the world. She might justwatch stuff on her laptop. That's not
it. That's that's not it.Yeah, that's so you're still friends with
me and I don't watch things.I know, But thank god, you're
getting better. Finally positive influence.Okay, it's not the end of the
world. I didn't have a TVwhen I was in Nashville either, so
that's not an issue to me atall. And then the six am ice

(31:37):
bad thing. That's just uh,you know that that skews in the mind
of Jim and fitness and I knowpeople that do that. That's not something
that I would particularly do, butlike to each their own. I don't
see how that's in it. Thatwouldn't It's not like she's asking if you
want to do that with her.That's her own personal you know, morning
routine or whatever, and that's fine. The what else? The no sugar,

(32:00):
sure fine. The no alcohol iswhat gets me more than anything,
honestly, because when we talk andyou're like, oh, I'm doing this
later tonight, you're always it alwaysinvolves some kind of alcoholic beverage, which
is an issue. But you don'twant to if I go to socialize,
I'm gonna go out and have adrink. Yeah, but you don't want

(32:20):
to put her in that situation everytime when maybe you want to go out
to a bar, and that's notthe environment she would prefer to be in.
So I could see that being anissue. Luckily, she doesn't mind
hanmbars, she drinks it. She'lldrink mocktails, which I know some of
those include sugar, but like she'lldrink macktails and things like that when she's
out, so like she's okay withthat. That's it's not because of like
like AA or anything like that thatshe doesn't drink, even if it was,

(32:43):
like, that's fine, what youknow. So it's the alcohol and
the going to bed early thing thatget me, because from the drinking,
you'll be like, yeah, I'mgoing to a comedy club and I'm probably
gonna get home it ends around ten, and then I talk to you the
next morning you're like, well,I just had to continue the night and
I didn't get home to two inthe morning. And that that is it's
fun, Like that's that's your journey. That's something you enjoy doing. And

(33:05):
I think that's great. But withher needing to be Cinderella at nine o'clock
could be problematic, especially early ondating too, where nine o'clock is rather
early to figure out things to dowith someone, where a lot of activities
really start around seven thirty eight o'clock, so then you're only really getting an
hour and a half with somebody fora date. That's an issue, yes,

(33:30):
and that that's that's that's kind ofbeen been the interesting thing. So
because like I mean the Shark rightfor example, the door's opened at nine,
right, like that's when the doorsopened. And so yeah, so
late night and we did we soour first date was just dinner and it
was just an early dinner dinner.What because you couldn't do but you wouldn't
do bar because that wouldn't make it. I was like, you're breaking that

(33:51):
rule too, Yeah, break,I know, breaking the first I know.
We went and we went and haddinner and had dinner at it was
like, you know, it's atsay like six, I think we met
and then we were there till abouteight and then and then you know,
eight thirty and it was right,had a great time, and we talked
about karaoke. She likes karaoke,and she's like, oh, I'm willing
to like stay out a little bitlater if we do karaoke and stuff like

(34:13):
that. So we went to abar for karaoke for our second date,
and I think they started karaoke atlike eight thirty. So how they did
she end up staying out. She'sstayed till about like nine forty five,
almost ten, and then uh,and then it was like, okay,
so you know I'm gonna go,I mean, and then I was like
okay, and then I stayed.And that was that till probably till two.
Yeah. Close enough. It's karaoke, yeah, and uh, and

(34:37):
they didn't really do much in theway of mocktails unfortunately, so she was
just more just kind of sitting theredreaking water because it's kind of not really
a mocktail type bar. That's theother issue. Not all bars are like
that. And then then our thirddate, I suggested a pool day because
I thought two reasons and and andyou know, one would just be like

(34:57):
that would be a nice way forus just to hang out in check.
I enjoyed like speaking like we havegreat conversations, and I enjoyed talking to
her, and I enjoyed, likewe we get along really well. So
I was like, you know,pull, it would be good. I
can work whatever hours and that's fine, and that's the that's also something that
doesn't end immediately, like it's like, you know, you can come over
for the afternoon and then and thenit also allows you to be like and
let's see how things go, youknow, like maybe we'll grab some dinner

(35:20):
afterwards or whatever. Yeah, andshe said, Okay, yeah I can
do that. I can do likeMonday like you maybe like two to four
or so, or like I cando Tuesday from one fifteen to three fifteen
fifteen. Wait what kind of timeframe is that? Yeah. I was
like, that's so strict of atimeline. Like so when she actually came
over, I was like, doyou do anything without intention? Like do

(35:44):
you like in your life? Andshe's like, no, everything I do
is fully intention And I was like, yeah, just like that's not me,
Like my this is my plan forthe day, whatever we end up
doing, whatever happens afterwards. Ifsomething happens, great, like like like
if I decide to go out afteryou leave or whatever, great. But
I was like, I plan onething a day, like one activity a
day is all that I can handleplanning, and like to think to think

(36:05):
you have like it planned that atone fifteen you were free and that you
have something else going on at threefifteen that you have to be somewhere else,
and that you would be after hangout the sun in the pool,
for two hours that you would wantto go do because if I planned something
at three fifteen, I would becanceling that thing at three fifteen after hanging
out a pool for a couple hours. Right, So yeah, so that

(36:25):
was that was We had a greatday, hang out in the pool.
It was really fun. It's notlike the worst thing in the world.
Because I'm thinking, you know,the difference between Roy and I. I'm
very scheduled. I'm more scheduled thanhe is, but not to that degree.
So I'm trying to give a littlebit of grace in that people who
are a little bit opposite can stillwork out. But there is a level

(36:47):
or a threshold of this is reasonablefor both of us. Oh yeah,
And I also think it's it's oneof those things that I think a little
non intention scheduling is nice because becausewe haven't had any intimacy, been no
intimacy. I mean, we we'vewe've you know, we've kissed, kissed,
Yeah, we've kssed a couple oftimes, and that's really it.
And so there feels like there's chemistrythere, but we have no real idea
of that. And she's not like, she's not she's not prude or anything

(37:12):
either. Like the funny thing isshe came to the pool and very very
confident, which I admire, butthen also her hat. She wore a
hat that said Daddy on it,which I thought was hilarious. Like yeah,
that's the thing. It's like weget like we get along in that,
we get along in those like inways that are that are kind of
like you know, she's got agood sense of humor and and and can
joke about things too, So yeah, it's it's interesting. But we we

(37:32):
started talking and we got to doa really good conversation and somebody she was
actually checked my clock and then sherealized it was four twenty or four twenty
five or something like that, andshe's like, oh, I gotta go,
Like I I have actual plans tomeet somebody, you know, like
I have a friend that's supposed tobe in tab blah bah blah. And
so like she basically ran out thedoor as like as soon as you could
in a and that, while understandablebecause she did have this schedule, it

(37:52):
was just like maybe, like doyou have to pack your schedules so full?
Like what, Yeah, what isit about having downtime that's like so
maybe like is it terrifying, isit like a scary thing of having downtime?
Yeah? Or is this idea ofwhat would you do if you have
this like downtime? Are you afraidthat you're like you just you know,
like being alone with like thoughts,space or something. I don't know.

(38:13):
I really don't know, but it'sit's interesting. So have you talked to
her about like what what have youguys talked about as far as progressing this
relationship and all of that. Wehaven't. That's the funny thing. We've
talked about all types of things.We've talked about all types of things related
to like our families and you know, in life and how we approach things
and all like all of that stuff, and I think we haven't actually talked
about like about she and I andwhere this few Every time I'm like,

(38:34):
we should discuss that. We justdon't like it is still really that's what
you've been on? Three dates sofair four? Yeah, So we had
a fourth when we did a brunchand it was it was and I think
is she always appreciates like my communication. She's very clear in her communication too,
which I appreciate, and like Ihad said something like, you know,
what's your schedule like for the nextweek, And she's like, well,
that depends on what, you know, what you want to do,

(38:54):
Like I have a you know,a variety of you know times whatever.
But I was like, well,it's hard for me to have plans on
not knowing when you're available, likeyou know, and so we planned,
you know, she said, Ilike, early morning Sundays are always nice,
and so I planned a brush likewhen I'm hung over. Well,
yeah, well brunch. Luckily theplace doesn't even open till nine. I
was like, is that earlier?Maybe ten? I was like, is
that early enough? You know,hopefully it's early enough. But we met

(39:16):
for brunch and brunch was great andwe had a great conversation, and I
was going to talk to her aboutthat, but we ended up talking about
all types of other things and thenyou know, and then it was kind
of like the time was up andshe had other things to go go do.
Dang. That sucks though, becausein other situations when you would do
something like that, it turns intoa whole day thing where you see what
happened, could have yeah, Andso that's I think that's the thing,

(39:37):
is that there's there's not a feelingof any type of spot in eighty and
and that that is something that you'relooking. But also I can't see how
any type of relationship can proceed becauseit's like, if you're this busy,
yeah, unless your partner lives withyou, so you see them every morning,
like you're you're like unless that,which isn't happening obviously, unless that,

(40:00):
when do you see them? Yousee them for two hour blocks like
every time, you know, likeand if they don't go to bed when
you go to bed, then thenlike when like and I and when when?
When is there time for intimacy?That's another thing. I was like,
I feel like, you know,we should the next day be like
I don't know, you know,can I can I cook your dinner from
from five to six thirty and thenfrom six thirty to eight scheduled scheduled maybe

(40:23):
uh you know second base, youknow, like I don't, I don't
know, I don't know what theprotocol is for that. And it's yet
you won't have you'll never have thetime. Oh well, then it makes
me ask like is she really thatbusy all the time? Like with that
she does she really does she wanta relationship, and you know, like,
but she does seem like she does. So where we're we're on Instagram,

(40:45):
and so it does seem like shedoes want a relationship. She the
way she talks about it, Uh, the stuff she posts is very relationship
like focused, which which is whichis fine. But yeah, so we
we do have another date scheduled,but the only time available is going to
be so this is recording some Tuesdayis next Tuesday. Oh my god.
Well, because like I know,like I'm not gonna do something Friday night

(41:06):
with her or something like that,because like that's that's late night, you
know, like that's I don't wantto try to suggest it. So we're
going to a there's a place thathas does tabletop games. It's like a
game bar, you know, whereyou could go and they have food and
drink and you can and they havea bunch of games you can play.
And I suggested to her. Shegoes, yeah, Tuesday's fine. I
said, well they open it five. Do you want to say, like
five thirty to six? She goes, I just remember to have something like

(41:28):
a class at eight that night,so six would be perfect. Adam,
what the fuck that that annoys meactually, because so what was she cancel?
I'm trybably get it from a positivestandpoint. Then she didn't say I
have a class at eight, sono I can't. She said, yeah,
I'll go. But then you feeltwo hours it goes back to the
same thing though, if the date'sstill going well after two hours, you

(41:49):
can't continue it because uh, Cinderella'sgotta go, gotta do something else.
That's it's so jam packed. It'sinteresting. And like the thing is,
if if the conversations during our datesweren't so good, I would be done,
but they are, They've been reallygood, and so like that's that's
what I can't figure out. Ireally can't figure out. Well, like
you need to have the conversation ofwhat are we? What are we?

(42:10):
You've had four dates at this point, so it's it's not like the first
second dates, which means I've seenher for a total of eight hours.
Fair Yeah, oh gosh, itjust seems very where if I've had dates
that started it, you know,like I had that when I went to
that date here to that that westart We met out for drinks at like
three o'clock and then we were outtill midnight, like so it's like a

(42:31):
nine hour date and one date,you know, and and like that was
that was cool too, And yeah, it's hard. And also because like
sometimes I like to go to abar, not because I like I need
to drink, because it's just afun place to go and sit and talk
and people watch and things like that, and you know, yeah, so
it's interesting. I'm a little frustratedfor you. Honestly, I'm not trying

(42:52):
to be mean to her because I'msure she's probably gonna listen and she thinks
I'm made being a type of way, but she knows, she knows the
podcast exists. A little difficult,like you said, to just date anybody
with those parameters. And then italso makes me a little sad for you
just knowing that in the date,when you're dating someone new, you want
to the intake of seeing that personfrom the start is a fuck ton.

(43:15):
You'll see them one week, andthen you'll see them two days later,
and then you'll see them like thenext week, and then you'll see them
two days after that, and itfeels like it's been a really slow it's
been a short amount of time.And then also one week for two hours
the next week for two hours.It's just it's a really weird cadence where
you're microdosing getting to know her.I don't know what it's like. It's

(43:37):
like it's like it's like kind ofan uber of dating where you're just like
you can just you're essentially just rentingsomeone's time for two hours where you get
to hang out and have like coolconversations and then they're like, all right,
cool, I'll check. It's likeit's like a therapy appointment kind of
but the same way. Can checkit next week. Yeah, yeah,
check it next week and we'll seewhat our schedules line up. But do
you talk much during the week.Sorry, So in the beginning she was

(43:58):
moving in, she said, Imight not be too responsive at first,
you know, and so I'm happylike to reply when I can, but
it just so you know, I'llbe busy, and so every now and
then in the very beginning she waslike, you know, you like every
other day is fine, Like Idon't want you to feel obligated. And
then since then we've kind of communicatedback and forth a little bit, nothing
too much. She mentioned last timethat she realized she hadn't been as responsive

(44:20):
as she'd like to be, Soshe's gonna try to you know, more
responsive as far as replying. SoI'll just you know, I sent her
pictures like during the Shrek rave andstuff like that, you know, or
not during earlier but and then shereplied back and I love those, you
know, and stuff like that.So she's you know, she is responsive.
And we do have some small conversations, but nothing to the level of
getting to know her on another levelthrough those No, no, no,
not not really. Yeah, Iwould say, like you and I text

(44:44):
more than we don't text. Wedon't text. Yeah, So it's like
I said, it's it's definitely interesting. I've I have started working into my
material on stage too, which isjust kind of like talking about the that
you know that dating seen today's hard, But I'm gonna start dating somebody.
But like I feel like I haveto end things because you know, she's
all these amazing things. But butshe's clearly like is interested in me,

(45:06):
and that's obviously a red flag likethat if you're with all the ship that
I am, like that, likethat's how how do you see me with
everything that's the oppos of her andbe interested in that that's like self sabotage
there, that's a red flag.So obviously gonna break up with that,
you know, But so it's stillworking on a bit for that. Okay,
yes, well, you know,after your next tabletop game, you'll

(45:28):
have to give us the update ofwhat you have to have the conversation with
her of where things are going,I think first and foremost, and then
you can give us the update oneverything else. You have to get it
into your two hour time frame.You you know, you got it.
You gotta in search that. Iknow, you know it's not gonna come.
I'll tell you, well, Imean you might. Yeah, maybe

(45:49):
that's the way to go. Iappreciate the fact that she's very intentioned and
she has like you know, shehas she knows what she wants, but
I also don't know necessarily that maybeshe doesn't know what she wants, you
know what I mean, Like maybeshe's trying to all these things to try
to figure out what she wants,but she's going to lose some things in
the meantime as well. Yeah.Okay, yeah, well that's been it's
been my life. Okay. Interesting. I don't really have anything else to

(46:13):
say except for let's see what happensin a week. Yeah, well,
we're going to see what happens,and we are also going to go take
a quick break and when we comeback, we have a voicemail from a
listener. If you don't want tolisten to the ads that are about to
pop in, you can leave ofanother voicemail for us by calling the DCS
hotline at four oh seven five onenine zero one eight one, and we

(46:35):
will be right back. Like Adamsaid, we have a wonderful voicemail from
a listener, And if you wantto be on the show asking us your
questions, comments or concerns, youcan call that DKs hotline at four oh
seven five one nine zero one eightone. But let's get into this question
hither. I have a question thatcame from a conversation that I was having

(46:57):
with my friend a couple of weeksago, just about what is the difference
between love bombing and I guess,just like woman being treated how they should
be treated. Yeah, my friendwas just like really excited about dating a
new guy, and she was reallyexcited about beating this new guy, and
it really just seems like, oh, she's like she's treating me right,

(47:20):
he's treating me like a queen,but it quickly turned to love bombing and
totally fell apart, and it's justlike, how do we catch that?
What's the difference between the two?And then I guess. Another added part
of this with having conversation about relationshipI was going through, would be,
what does even simping mean? SomeoneI was hanging out with you was treating

(47:43):
me really nicely and doing all thesethings for me, and a friend was
like, oh, yeah, he'sa simp So I guess, yeah,
just what's the difference between love bombingbeing treated well and right? And I
guess and simping as well? So, first off, thank you for taking
the time to leave us the voicemail. We did actually a long time ago

(48:05):
do an episode on love bombing whenthat was something that I was going through,
and I just it was like,what is this new experience? It
feels kind of weird and wrong,and I'm having this gut reaction And it
turned out that it was love bombing. So I would say, when you
have that gut reaction or like atime where it feels a little icky.
Typically, love bombing is a formof manipulation where a narcissist is using it

(48:30):
to get what they want, Sothey are just flooding you with all these
good things, and it'll feel alittle off. Simping actually is a newer
phrase that I'm technically not as familiarwith. Maybe it's because I've never been
called a simp or that's just notsomething that I've experienced a lot on the
internet. But from what I sawonline, it's more of like a one

(48:52):
sided thing where someone's really providing alot of love and attention on the surface
to one person and the other persondoesn't feel that way according to definition.
But I know, Adam, you'relike, that's not that's not what a
sympos Well, yeah, I mean, so let's start love bombing. I'd
say love bombing is can can bea narcissistic action. I would also say

(49:14):
that love bombing can sometimes be anemotionally unintelligent guy who's interested in a woman,
but he's interested in a woman thathe's painted in her in his head
of who she is, and sohe sees her on a dating app or
something like that and creates this worldlike in his head and like and then

(49:34):
starts applying it to this real lifeperson. It's telling them how beautiful they
are, how amazing you are,like, oh, I could just see
this future with you. I cansee you being my wife. I could
see I want to take you ontrips, I want to do this thing.
Because they haven't even really gotten toknow the person they're they're just like
they're they are just bombing them withlike all these compliments. And a lot
of times it's not because they're tryingto manipulate, because they they're not.
They're not even that fucking clever.Sometimes they're just they're just in a capable

(49:58):
of realizing that you're human being.And what happens is then the person,
the woman succumbs and is like,Okay, well this person's really into me.
And then they get to know whoyou are as a person, and
then they're like, oh you dothese things I don't like. It's like,
oh my god, you're a humanbeing. And so then they stop
with the compliments because now you're nolonger in sync with this imaginary person they've

(50:19):
painted in their head. And sothat's how you know that it's love bombing.
A lot of times is yes,it feels sicky, and a lot
of times it's it's coming from aplace of someone who doesn't know you,
and so you can you can say, oh you you love me, You're
in love me, you think I'mamazing, you think I'm wondered. What's
my middle name? You know?Like what's my favorite food? You know?
Like like ask, you know,like and they can't answer those things
because they it doesn't matter to them. They're just they they want to try

(50:43):
to capture you as they see youand and make you and ideally mould you
into this whatever like you you are. You are a princess in a castle
exact online. That's an interesting wayof putting it that I've never thought before.
If they're so obsessed with the maybedating version or the data profile version
of you and the pictures on thereand that persona and what that would mean

(51:05):
to their life with you in it, and they want that life for themselves,
so they're bombing you to get okayyeah yeah, so so yeah,
So that's that's That's what I wouldsay. That's how you notes love bombing
that you know, genuine compliments havevalue to them, they have weight to
them, they have impact to them. They're not like a million a million
an hour, they're not. They'realso not trying to dictate your life,

(51:27):
and and they they will feel genuineand yeah, so simping. Simping is
that interesting thing. It's a newterm. It's only been around for a
few years, and I'm sure it'syou know, I'm sure there's some type
of origin that I'm not thinking,not understanding where where it came from immediately,
But it's guys call other men's simpswhenever they do something nice for a

(51:51):
woman, or say anything nice abouta woman, or support a woman,
or support i mean maybe a woman'spoint of view, or go against what
a man says, or do anythingwhere the guy calling the person a simp
just has no capability to understand thatsomeone might just have a different opinion that
happens to correlate with supporting women.So like anytime I do any content at

(52:15):
all, I get called a simp. You know, anytime I say talk
about male privilege, simp is whatthey call it, because in their heads,
the only reason I could possibly betalking about a thing that supports women,
talking about male privilege, talking aboutanything like that is I'm trying to
get my dick wet, And that'sthe only reason in their minds that I
would ever say anything this poort womenbecause that's the only reason they would ever

(52:36):
support women. So they're so incapableof understanding other people have different motivations.
And then so they just project completelyand call and call me a simp.
So when the fact that you hada guy who was nice to you and
it was treating you right, andsomeone said, oh, he's just a
simp, that person's being a shittyperson, is what they are? Are
you assuming that guy is a guywho said that because I don't feel like

(52:58):
women women do use it to youngergeneration women use it and and and it's
kind of it's like an internalized misogyny, is what it is. I think,
Okay, And it's mostly emotionally immature, you know, like crusty ass
dudes who just cannot handle the factthat anybody would support a woman. There's
really really what it boils talent to. But women aren't calling other women simps.

(53:21):
It's more of a very yeah,yeah, okaye women. Yeah,
it's it's very really And now it'sbeing starting to become more of a global
term now where someone's like, oh, I'm simping for them, I'm simping
for this, I'm saying like whereanytime like you're like really into something or
you're like I get that reference,but like if someone was simping towards me,
I just see it as like someone'sgiving me attention and affection where I

(53:42):
don't necessarily want it, but Iguess like on the internet, it's kind
of you know, any context,see that's not really that's not really simping
though, that's that's that's kind ofjust like yeah, because it's it's not
even an unwanted attention as much.It's like it's like if you posted something
online and someone attacks you and someoneelse stepped in there and just said,
that's shitty of you to say thator something like that, that'd be called

(54:05):
being a simp or a white nightin that case too, you know,
but it's also gonna be you know, is that interchangeable white knight and simp
in that and that that occasion itmight be what the fuck is white night?
Oh my god? Wait? Whitenighting is just when you come in
when someone hasn't asked you to be, to come in this defense, and
you come in and sometimes it's nothealthy to do that. White nighting has
like sometimes if you assume a womancan't defend herself, and you step in

(54:28):
and you're being just as misogynstic andmisogynistic as the person was doing it because
attacking her because you're assuming she doesnot defend herself as well. So there's
a difference, and that is kindof a fine line. But but simping
simthing is just this broad description ofany time a guy says, does says
or does anything nice for a woman, supports a woman, thinks about a

(54:50):
woman in a positive way, doesanything that these this group of just like
shitty, dumb ass dudes who's like, oh, he's a simp because all
they want to do is jerk eachother off and like that. There's so
there's so they're so into impressing othermen, that's all their whole lives are
because they don't understand that they probablyattracted other men. It's really what I

(55:10):
think it boils down to, right, They just haven't figured that out,
so they're still into impressing other men. That all they can think about is
just like, why would you sayanything nice about it about a woman?
You know that those are our things, those are our objects. Why are
you gonna be nice to an object? But if a man is in a
relationship with a woman, would hislike if Roy and I are together,
if his friend said, oh,you're a simp for Sarah, like a
cypt for me because he respects meand cares about my opinions and does affecttion

(55:37):
it things. Basically, it's ifyou're in a relationship with someone, and
it's essentially the equivalent of being pussywhipped. If you so anything that has
to do with women, you're justa set. You're a simp, or
you're pussy whipped, or you're Yeah. So it's it's kind of an overall
term. So it can mean whiteknight, it can bean pussy whipped,
it can mean you know, likejust you kiss asked like you know,
like if if you know Roy waslike, oh, yeah, I'm gonna

(55:59):
bring you bring you flowers after Iget back from my flight for because I
haven't seen you, I'll be like, oh, what a what a simp?
Because they just they don't understand doingthings and being nice to people without
getting trying to get something in return. They don't understand that sometimes you just
do that. But a woman wouldn'tsay, don't be a simp for me,
like she wouldn't tell her boyfriend,oh you're being a simp, or
her girlfriends wouldn't say, oh,what a simp it would be if she

(56:22):
would, If she does that,that'd be really shitty of her. Yeah.
I feel like that's that's her beingtoxic. That's and that's a lot
of internalized misogyny too. They're like, you know, it's yeah, so
it's it's a it's a weird.They just want to be I don't know
why they're so against gay marriage.Then if they want they just want to

(56:43):
they just want to suck each other. Yeah. So so anyways, whoever
it is that called your friend,you know, the guy who was a
simp that was being nice to you, Like, he's treating it nice and
you're actually hang out, so itsounds like you might have been like potentially
dating, you know, if hehad ulterior motives. I don't know anything
about that. But he's not inacessarily a simp. Just because he's nice
to you, like that doesn't meananything, and people should probably stop using

(57:04):
the fucking term. Yeah, Idon't really like it. Yeah, now
I will simp for you if youcall our hot live. I leave a
voicemail at four oh seven five onenine zero one eight one, so you
know, because you know it worksin that term will simp for you,

(57:27):
I will simp for you. Soyeah, so you know that's that's maybe
the other time that it's okay,thank you for calling, and everyone else
please feel free to call or emailsa Data Kind of Sucks podcast at gmail
dot com. And we're going totake our last break yep, yep,
and get back for the get backto the topic. I know, we
said we were taking a break,and uh, we were taking a nice

(57:49):
long break, and then this ideapopped up, all from a tick.
It's always from a TikTok, alwaysfrom a TikTok. Yeah, this guy
took to social media and started talkingabout how he's looking for a quote unquote
real woman, and he said inquotes, girls aren't the way they used
to be, not like how theywere in the eighteen hundreds and early nineteen

(58:13):
hundreds. Of real woman. Shegrows up, she really wants to get
married, have kids. Her favoritething is cooking and cleaning, and wants
to be married so much she dreamsabout it. Girls aren't allowed to be
like that in today's world, andsociety forces them to be workers. Men
want a good woman. Stop goingto bars, stop getting drunk, take
care of yourself and be a goodwoman. So with that lovely little TikTok

(58:37):
that he really sat on the internetand a lot of people were, you
know, stitching and making comments aboutit, just brought up the question of
what actually makes a good woman intoday's standards and should we actually go back
to the eighteen hundreds to look forthat fucking answer, right right, And

(58:57):
of course this guy was exactly thelevel of physical specimen that you would expect
of a man demanding ridiculous standards fora woman. He looks like what you
would think you would look like.Yeah, yes, yes, he looks
like I just twice dehydrated potato withhair accurate. And yeah, yeah he
said he was he was looking towardsthe church and he's twenty seven, but

(59:21):
he definitely looks like mid seven,he looked. Yeah, he starts off,
I'm twenty seven, guy. Ithought he was like forty five.
Oh look yeah, and like latethirties. What is it? What is
it about like hating women that theages you so tremendously like if you look
at all of the like Charlie Kirkand bench like all these people who like
who despise women, like they theyall look so old. There's this one

(59:44):
guy on Twitter who posts his name'slike Richard han Arian, I think,
and he's like, and this ishow he voice sounds in my head.
I am eighteen years old, Iam an alpha male. Women respect me.
I have money, I haven't education, and like whatever. But his
face and that's like, that's theonly way I can I can imagine his

(01:00:05):
voice. His face is like thislittle scrunched up like pencil eraser face that
like you look at and you're like, this guy looks sixty already. I
can only imagine that he's only gonnaworse. So anyways, let's just you
know, get that, like,look in the fucking mirror before you try
to, you know, decide whoyou're gonna be judging about anything. Yeah,
step number one, step number one, and then step number two is
before asking if like why can't Ifind a good woman? You should be

(01:00:30):
going looking in and going how canI be a good man or a better
man, or a respectful man oranything better than what you currently are?
Yeah, because you don't deserve agood woman. You don't deserve a woman
you don't deserve like a wet watermelonwith a hole in it, Like you
don't deserve any of those things.So let's let's let's me. I just

(01:00:59):
want to go to his statement too, not like how they were in the
eighteen hundreds and early nineteen hundreds.So first of all, you're still having
the watermelon. They just visualize that. That's all just fucking watermelon. That's
a new one. So you know, let's look at what women were like
in the eighteen hundred, not notwhat the Victorian standards, but like what

(01:01:21):
the women were like. They couldn'town property, yeah, they you know,
they obviously didn't have any bodily autonomy. There was no such thing as
birth control for most of that.They couldn't go to school. They couldn't
go to school for a lot ofa lot of that period. And they
couldn't have a credit card or abank account in their own name. So

(01:01:43):
you know, he he's like,I wish that I just had someone who
had to stay at home, couldn'tget a job or do anything because they
didn't have any skills or education todo so, couldn't escape me, and
like to cook. I want Iwant them to at least love cooking and
cleaning, because I mean it's theonly thing they can fucking do for him.
So they might have that. Iwant them to enjoy that and just
want them to put their body throughthe physical harm of having children over and

(01:02:06):
over again just for to to youknow, feed my ego and why he's
for a legacy. That's that's theleast they could do. And you know,
yeah, and so that's that's whatgoes back to what their body,
what women's bodies back then were quoteunquote made for, was just to reproduce
and to be a whole for yes, just just breeding, yeah, and

(01:02:30):
be a maid a maid and breeding, yeap made breeding and even back then
not as much not as much asex toy, not the ones you married.
The women didn't marry. We werethe sex toys. Was there was
like an old I feel like oneof the Mafia shows or something like which
was maybe like Sopranos or something wherehe it's something like like his his girlfriend

(01:02:55):
gives him blowjobs because he kisses hiswife or something like that, Like it
was, it's something along those lines, and like I feel like that's very
indicative of men, Like this isit's a formal love in the eighteen hundreds
versus a more pornographic love as timeshave changed. I don't know. Yeah,

(01:03:16):
yeah, like I yes, thatwas back then, but just to
not grasp the concept of progress andhow it's better now for everybody involved,
versus looking at it and going,well, this would really benefit me a
lot, because I really just wanta mom yeah exactly, Like if it's

(01:03:39):
just like I really I really wanta mommy to take care of me,
Like I want someone to do allmy laundry because I don't want to have
to do any of it. Idon't want to have to do any chores
or any work around the house.And I really just want somebody to feed
me and do do all of thesethings for me. And you know,
I can call her my wife,but really it's just a mom. And
they were honest about that. Great. I'm sure there's services that provide that.

(01:03:59):
Yeah. Well, and then hiswhole thing of like stop going to
bars, stop drinking. It makesme flip the question. Okay, so
when's the last time you've been toa bar, when's the last time you've
had a drink? If your expectationsof your future partner or that they don't
do X, Y, and Zthings. It's assumed that you also don't
do those things because if you dothose things, you're a fucking hypocrite and

(01:04:20):
you can't be judging them on anythingthat they do or don't do, right,
not not that a hypocrisy has everever stopped fair Yes, yeah,
yeah, right here. But andlike men want a good woman, No,
listen, I want a bad girl. I don't want to be a
good woman. What are you talkingabout? Like, he can't speak for
all men. And maybe this isjust me being like anti church and like
anti religion to a degree, butjust saying, you know, I'm looking

(01:04:43):
for someone who's in the church whohas all these values that upholds this traditional
standard. It just makes me wantto fucking vomit. And I'm like,
do you understand, Like I don'tknow what percentage of women who are still
attending church are, Like, yeah, I really actually want to meet a
good man in the church who respectsme, because I think the amount of
men who go who are respectful ofwomen is probably a very low fucking percentage

(01:05:04):
rate. Yeah. I have noticedit here in Tulsa that there are a
lot of matches that are like lookingfor a man who knows that Jesus is
his Lord and things like that,and they're in their body and their profile,
so that there are women who,like, you know, the the
church means a lot to them,And I wonder why that is because because

(01:05:25):
I feel like the church, thechurch has never really served women. Well,
I agree, it's a little bitof brainwashing to a degree if we
really want to dive into religion thisepisode. But like, I have no
problem with God, but like there'sa level of like oppression that the church
is instilled that for some reason westill want to uphold because it's the church

(01:05:45):
and that's what God and Jesus wantedfor us. And I'm like, okay,
like you're fucking sky Daddy once againwith your rules and procedures. It's
it's yeah, and it's patriarchal andthen it has it benefits men significantly and
and men don't get punished when theyshould. There was that path, There
was that pastor that one or wasthat like two months ago who said his

(01:06:08):
wife lost her life. But it'sI know you talk about her name was
like Mina something. Fuck, yeah, I do know, I do know
what you're talking about. Yeah,okay, and and like and everybody's like
he murdered her, Like he wasquite clearly a hundred percent murder her.
Like like it's like the fact thatit like I hope it. I mean,
they said they're going to open aninvestigation. But like the church was

(01:06:29):
all supportive of him and stuff likechurch of course, yeah yeah. And
then there was this other there's otherchurch where the pastor there's some a new
story came out about about him havinginappropriate relations with with with someone years ago.
And so the thing is, atfirst he put out a statement that
actually I was like kind of behindbecause he was like, I did something

(01:06:50):
I wasn't you know, wasn't entirelyproud of years ago. Since like you
know, I've made effort, I'venever had that happen again, and I've
you know whatever. I was like, okay, cool, well least at
least see he was willing to acknowledgeit, blah blah. But then it
came out that no, she wastwelve, yeah, yeah, you know,
and like he glossed over that partof it, you know, like
he lost over that part, andthe church was pretty in these these church

(01:07:13):
attendees women. There was a quotefrom a woman, it was like,
well, you know, girls sometimesthey just you know, you just looks
like sometimes yeah, essentially like somehowblaming you know, young girls for this.
And so I think people like thatwho go to church too, like
they're just they're the absolute worst.But then you have the people on your
in the dating profiles in Tulsa sayinglike, oh, that's just one bad

(01:07:33):
apple, right, you know.And I thing is like if I were
to match with them and say yeah, I don't, I don't go to
church, that would be like ared flag. But the guy that you
know that goes to church but thendoes all these other things or believes all
these other things, is somehow isgodly. I don't think. Because you
want me barefoot and pregnant in thekitchen cleaning up your shit because that makes

(01:07:55):
me a good woman is just suchbullshit. And and we definitely are not
going to get out of this tangent. We're going to mention when I mention
it, the victim at the rallywho got so when Trump got missed,
Yeah, and the the guy whogot killed but behind him, Yeah,
did you did you hear what happened? I'm not as caught up as you

(01:08:17):
are. I know, he madesome shitty tweet like the guy the guy
was, I mean, the guy, the guy himself is a piece of
shit, like he absolutely was justterrible. But no, President Biden tried
to call the widow to give hishis condolences, and she wouldn't answer the
phone, okay, because she knowsher husband wouldn't want her to talk to
Joe Biden. I fucking can't,okay, and said that, you know,

(01:08:40):
he and then said, you know, but you know she was there
and she was, you know,glad that she could bring their family there
because because she and her family aredevout Republicans, which what the fuck is
that? Yeah, devout devout Christians, not devout Republicans. Again, the
religion and the she wouldn't she wouldn'tanswer the phone the President United sty It's
like, honestly, I'll tell youwhat, even as much as I despised

(01:09:01):
Trump when he was president, ifsomething happened and I got a call from
him, I still would to answerthe fucking phone. Like that's just like
it's still a president calling, regardlessof anything else. A president from any
country would call me, I'd answerthe phone, you know, Like the
fact that she wouldn't talk to himbecause of that is just because her husband
wouldn't want her to. Her deadhusband wouldn't want her to do you know
who hasn't called him or or calledher or gone to the hospital or in

(01:09:26):
any way made contact with her whatsoever? Trump no surprise to her. I
mean, yeah, but anyway,So that's just like the idea of too
the woman of like this woman inthe church is the same time of concept,
Like just like it's a it's ait's an internalized misogy, internalized self
hatred that I think happens a lotwith with the with the with religion with
a woman. And we really gotoff on the shone yeah no, and

(01:09:48):
going back to the perfect woman,there's a level of like do what you
want to do, right, Like, if you are a woman in society
and you want to look for apartner who is going to provide for you
and help the family, elements ofthe home and things like that and is
godly or whatever, that's totally cool, but not in a fucking oppressive way

(01:10:11):
that that's the only thing they're lookingfor in that relationship is that you're cleaning,
cooking and caring for kids. Therehas to be something more than that.
Like, you guys can have amutual agreement that these are things that
we're both okay with because that's thestage of life that we're in. Because
let's be for fucking real, it'snot always going to be that way.
The kids are gonna grow up,you might have other interests or hobbies in
the future, and that dynamic mightshift. So for the time being,

(01:10:33):
that could be cool that that's theagreement, But you have to have the
You have to give your partner graceto be able to grow and change along
with you, because you're not goingto be the same person at the start
either or at the end from thestart, you know what I mean.
Well, and so that's that's thething is that I don't think there's anything

(01:10:55):
wrong with a someone getting married andtelling their spouse either whoever their spouses,
I don't want you to have towork. I make enough money, you
don't need to work. That's fine, that's one hundred percent of fine.
I don't think it's then okay forthem to expect them to be the to
do all of the house chores.That's the house chores are still a separate
thing. It's still a separate andentirely separate thing, you know, having

(01:11:17):
children and raising the children and maintainingthe house. Those are those are not
much worse. Those are two differentjobs exactly. And then if the relationship
were to end, being mad thatthey want alimony to make sure that they
have support to keep him in thesame financial position that they had before because

(01:11:39):
they don't have any any like valquote unquote marketable skills to go get a
to get a job in the market, and so like that. It's that
mentality that I want to be yourprovider and they usually say protector too,
but let's that's all their story.But I want to be your provider,
but only as long as you're withme. And then but you know,
but god, you know, ifyou if you decide ever that you're going
to leave me, or you know, no matter how shitty I am,

(01:12:00):
no how abusive I am, whatever, or if you just we just fall
out of love and the relationships itcan't be fixed. I'm no longer going
to provide for you, and I'mnot gonna try to help you learn how
to provide for yourself. And sothat's obviously where what they're looking for.
They're looking for someone who just wantsto be a slave, be okay with
being a slave, and never askfor divorce. There's so many men out

(01:12:21):
there that say that no fault divorcewas a huge mistake. And then it
goes back to the whole conversation we'vehad a million years ago of just men
not even fucking liking women. Theyjust want I think a lot of it
is tied to the status of beingsomeone that is good looking in their eyes
more than it's like having a womanaround their arm is really just what they

(01:12:43):
want. I don't even know ifit's necessarily the sex or whatever. It's
just being perceived as being successful becausethey were able to bag that girl,
whoever she might be, whether shehas the qualities he actually wants or not.
It's just she was the first availableperson who met all of these like
really stupid criteria that I had,and I'm fine with it. It's not

(01:13:03):
gonna last, but you know it'sfine. Yeah, it's gonna last because
I'm gonna make it last. I'mnot gonna literally leave and things like that.
That's the that's the foundation for ahealthy fucking relationship for sure. Well,
I think I think the funny thingto do to to show how ridiculous
the standards are too is to lookat look at someone like you, so
you know, like you know,according to his standards, you are not

(01:13:26):
a good woman. You don't drinklittle yeah, so you don't. I'm
saying you don't go to bars,you don't drink. You don't. You're
not like a you're not a heavypartier. You know, like you you
have a job that pays the bills. You don't, but you don't.
That's bading around the house when youneed to. But you know you're not
like you know, you don't.You don't do his You don't do Roy's
laundry anymore, you know, youknow, And and you guys switch off

(01:13:49):
cooking, you know, like youcook, you each cook, but Roy
cooks a lot a lot too,And so like by his standards, you
were not a good woman because youknow, because you were independent, because
you go off and travel by yourself. That actually mean that right there makes
you an evil, vile woman,because you know, how dare you travel
by yourself? Because if you're travelingmyself, it means you're out there fucking
everybody. Because that's what he woulddo. That's what the guy would do

(01:14:11):
if he was out there traveling wasfucking everybody just kidding. No that I
mean, that's a good point.But yes, I'm not a good woman
in his eyes. But we don'tvalue the same things in a relationship where
I actually value a real partnership,He's valuing a prize. Yeah. Yeah,
And that's that's the fundamental difference Ithink on how most men and most

(01:14:38):
women view dating and relationships. Yeah, is that we I think we talked
about this before, but I thinkthat women have a set of it's you
know what it is, you know, always like and this this is my
comparison. Men have this idea thatit's like a job job search, but

(01:15:01):
where men say, well, youhave to have a degree from this school,
you have to have done these threethings. You have to have clerked
for this person and worked for thistype of person, and you have to
have closed these types of deals X, Y, and Z. And a
woman looks at it and says,okay, well, we want soft skills.
We want to make sure that you'recollaborative. I want to make sure

(01:15:23):
that you know how to be ateam player, that you're an effective leader,
that you're inclusive, and that yourstaff feels comfortable working for you.
And I feel like that's maybe howhow many women appreciate dating too or approach
dating is that men say, well, she has to have this, you
know this body, be this tallor this short, you know this skinny,

(01:15:45):
look like this and do these things. And when we're like, I
want somebody who's not going to abuseme, who's you know, doesn't have
to be brilliant, it's just relativelyintelligent, you know, has like basic
critical thinking skills, has some emotionalintelligence, has the ability to make me
laugh, you know, and andis someone that I enjoy spending my time
with. And the and then he'slike, I want somebody that I can

(01:16:10):
fuck and then show off to myfriends and say I fuck her, yeah
exactly. And she cleaned and shecleans her me and wipes my ass and
cooks and cleans and it's my mommy. Yeah, And I think, you
know, you're you're spot on withthat of like, women are able to
be a little bit more flexible withthe requirements because it is more of a
soft skill requirement versus a specific one. Ask of this thing, and if

(01:16:33):
you've done it, great, Ifyou haven't, you're out, you know,
versus I'm willing to work with thisbecause it falls into the criteria that
I'm looking for. And I think, going back to building the perfect woman,
a lot of women would probably say, you know, I am,
in my mind the perfect woman becauseI'm not looking for a man who wants

(01:16:55):
those things, you know, whateverthose things are. I'm a fully functional
or like fully uh really well rounded. I think. Yeah, I'm a
well rounded individual, not just awoman, but an individual who can do
all of these things. Can takecare of myself, be independent, make
my money, go do trips,do whatever I want to do, and

(01:17:15):
be happy, have a good networkof friends, and that makes me a
good person and a good woman,and you know, eventually a good partner,
and men looking from the outside inare going well cool that you have
all those things, but you stilldon't cook and clean for me, so
you know, like it doesn't makeany fucking sense at all, And it's

(01:17:36):
like, okay, well then Idon't want to date you because you don't
see great for you, that youhave a happy life, that you're fully
yearly, you're fulfilled and all thosethings. But you know, I really
want you to make me a fuckingsandwich bitch. Like that's and that that
is that's the mentality. Yeah,and it's sad too because, like I
mean, obviously these guys are incells and they suck, right, but
they're missing the potential right in frontof them. I'm like, Wow,

(01:17:57):
look at all these great qualities thisperson as and I'm missing the fucking point
because they're making more money than me, or you know, whatever the case
may be. That it's hurting myego and it's not fulfilling my manly needs
of what I want. So Idon't want to be with you because you're
outspoken and you can't be It goesback to a level of control where I

(01:18:17):
can't control you and oppress you toa degree, So I'm not interested.
And they will argue, because thesemen will also argue, well, women
say they want someone tall. That'slike their big argument. Or they had
the six six six rule, whichwe talked about too, you know,
and we've debunked that that. Womenwill say, oh, like I have
a they might have a preference forsomeone who's tall, but if they found

(01:18:40):
a short guy who was kind andcompassionate and like it was a equal partner,
the height doesn't matter. And womenhave said that time and time again,
and I think that's that's the thingto look at too, is that
once again, women are looking forsomeone they enjoy spending time with. Men
are looking for someone that they canshow off to their male friends and or

(01:19:04):
or you know, in some wayjust absolves them of any responsibility at home.
And one aspect of what he saysin this too that I wanted to
bring up that girls aren't allowed tobe like that in today's world and society
forces them to be workers. Well, first of all, let's not talk
about you know, capitalism and thepatriarchal nature of that and all that.

(01:19:24):
But yeah, it'd be great ifsociety you know, but I guarantee this
guy is voting for people who don'twant to have a basic universal income,
like a you know, universal basicdaily daily income, you know, which
would which would resolve, which wouldresolve a lot of that. You know,
he doesn't he doesn't want that,I'm sure. But also, these
guys are so anti feminists. Theythink feminism is bad and and a lot

(01:19:45):
of women i've heard too, ohyeah, I'm not a feminist because that's
just you know, that's so crazy. Feminism isn't saying, well, that's
what I'm saying. Feminism isn't sayingthat you have to you have to work
a job, and you can't dateanybody, and you can't and you know,
get married, and you can't havekids and you can't be a house
cleaner or a housekeeper. I mean, it doesn't it doesn't are a homemaker.
It doesn't say that. Feminism saysgive women the choice to decide whatever

(01:20:10):
they want to do, exact endof story. And so if if a
woman chooses that's what she wants todo, that's great. If that's you
know, especially if she's making anactually informed, you know, aware decision
of that, not blindly going becausemen are telling her that's what she has
to be and that that's one hundredfine. And I think that these men

(01:20:30):
are just so terrified of understanding thatwhen most women have the choice, they're
going to choose independence first over havingbeing a homemaker. They're going to choose
their own happiness themselves over their partnersor future partners by cleaning up their ship,
and their ability to escape if theywant to, like you know,
in all of that as well,which I think is a big part of
this is they're choosing yet they're theytheir ability to to to do what they

(01:20:55):
want to do. And then ifthat is have a child, they can
have a child, but it's nottheir first choice because then they get trapped
in a home where they can't escape, or you know, they're abused,
et cetera. Yeah, so theperfect woman has the independence, has the
self confidence and just knows themselves beforegetting in to bed with someone who could

(01:21:17):
be a good match or even consideringan insult. So but that's the problem
though. The actual perfect woman nowadaysis so self aware of who they are
and where they're going in life,and men aren't like those men haven't even
caught up to that fact yet atall. They're just going, well,
why are things different than they werein the nineteen fifties when my parents were

(01:21:39):
getting married or what are probably beingconceived at that point, like not getting
married. So I don't have anywords for them except for wake the fuck
up, or get used to beingsingle and alone, or start being into
other men like you and I'll beexactly being an other men. Yeah.
So, yeah, I if Iwere to say, you know what is

(01:22:00):
the perfect woman? The perfect womanis a fully realized individual, is a
woman who does what she wants todo, knows what she wants out of
life, enjoys life, is ableto participate in anything she wants, and
doesn't need a man, but choosesto be with someone who adds to her
life like she's a whole. She'sa whole person who is looking for another

(01:22:25):
whole person who enhances her life,not a half of a person who needs
her other half in order to survive. And that's what a perfect woman would
be like. And like you said, that perfect woman is never going to
be the type of woman that theseneck beard pieces a shit are ever gonna
find, you know, because theydon't want that. They don't want someone

(01:22:45):
who's a whole and visual. Theywant someone who's fully realized. The don't
want someone who's independent and happy.They want someone who's desperate and scared to
be alone. Well think about thistoo, And sorry to go back to
the church thing. Maybe I'm justhating on religion today, but they are
searching for women, these ship menare searching for women in a place where
they could probably be already oppressed.Yep, the church, you know,

(01:23:11):
like the bar. I don't thinkthe bar. Independent women are going to
a bar and dancing and being freeor doing whatever, or they're going out
drinking and being themselves. I don'tthink there's a level of that level of
oppression there at the bars versus lookinginward towards the church and hand picking people
here, Like they're not that selfconfident and they they seem a little unsure

(01:23:32):
of this and that about themselves.So and they seem, you know,
I could, I could work withthat because they've already been molded into something
that fits for me. So they'resticking to environments that might have those types
of women, which is unfortunate.But at the same time that like that's
why they can't find they can't findanyone outside of the church or outside of
whatever circle they run in, becausethey don't exist outside of those circles because

(01:23:57):
all the you know, independent womenare doing their own thing in the real
fucking world. Yeah, yep,not to hate on you if you go
to church, but you know,there's there's a level of church people that
are just fucking helpless. I heara lot of people who say they go
to church for the community and thingslike that, and I can understand that,
But then I think people then findout that if they do anything that's

(01:24:17):
the slightest bit wrong, slightest butagainst anything that the pastor or minister or
any you know, or or whateverit says is acceptable, and they immediately
find out how cold that community canbe. I mean, there's been so
many instance of younger of like teenagegirls being assaulted, and when they try
to tell the church community about it, the community turns on them instead of

(01:24:39):
turning on the person doing it.So yeah, so perfect woman is a
woman that these men will never touchor get nearer. And that's pretty fucking
perfect in my mind. That's likeperfect ending for them too, Yeah,
because it just let's let's address menmen like who think like this. Not

(01:25:00):
that you've made it through this wholeepisode, because I know you probably turn
it off by now, But ifyou were a man who thinks like that,
guy, what you should be workingon instead of trying to craft the
perfect woman and complain about how womenare today is try to make yourself a
better person. Try to turn yourselfinto an individual whose whole and doesn't need
someone who knows how to cook andclean and maintain your own household, someone

(01:25:21):
who feels like a fully fledged adult. And if you reach that point in
your own life, you might realizethat you don't want someone to do those
things for you, You want someoneelse who's also an equal partner, and
that would make your life a loteasier too. What a concept. Yeah,
Well, if you have any thoughtsabout anything we said today, especially

(01:25:42):
with the religion, and you wantto sound off because you hate us about
that, or you hate us aboutus talking negatively towards men once again,
because that's that tends to be.The summary of every episode is like some
men are shit. You can callour DKs hotline and bitch us out at
four oh seven five one nine zeroone eight one, and then we'll play
it on air and then we'll just, you know, let that air out.

(01:26:06):
You never know. Yeah, we'lllet you listen. You can if
you do leave a voicemail. Ifyou're a guy and you leave a voicemail,
we will get to it. Wewill play it, and when we
have in the past, we're notgonna we're not gonna say no to that.
So that's okay. You can alsoemail so at Dating kind of Sex
Podcast at gmail dot com, andif you're respectful, you can join our
Facebook group. That's that's actually alittle more uh, a little more regulated,

(01:26:27):
but that's at Facebook dot com,slash groups, slash dcs podcast,
and for as little as five dollarsa month, you can become a patron
on Patreon at Patreon dot com slashdcs podcast with exclusive after the episode videos
and just us being even more realin another way, yes, even more
real, and uh we try topost on there after most episodes, and

(01:26:51):
even if we don't, there's there'sliterally i would say hours of footage because
there's also yeah, like you cango back to the archives. There's there's
like there was like a I thinklike an hour and a half conversation with
me and a couple of different x'sand stuff as well. Do you remember
those are on there and those aren'tavailable anywhere else? So yeah, there's
a lot of good, good stuffon there. If you are listening to
this, you can also Jorge onYouTube YouTube dot com. Slash dating kind

(01:27:13):
of sucks, our instagram at datingkind of sucks, and of course we
have our own individual instagrams and TikTok'ssimply Sara Gunderscore and I'm at Adam avitable
on TikTok. Of course, ifyou've made it this far and you've been
listening for a while and haven't givenus a five star rating and review on
iTunes, Now is the time,as well as following us on Spotify and
share it with your friends. Ifyou know a shitty man who thinks this

(01:27:34):
way, who probably won't get tothis part of the episode, I mean,
you can share it. See whathe says, share it, tag
him anyway, Yes, exactly.So with that, we'll be back sometimes
sometime after the after the Olympics,with another episode, once Sarah gets back
and settled and ready to talk aboutwhatever happened in Paris, because we know

(01:27:54):
it's good. What happens in Paris, doesn't I know it doesn't stay in
Paris. It's going to go onfor but we're back with a new episode
at that point until next time.Whether you're married or single or pull your
age worrying and I Whisminger's back atyour place, listen to us and beginning
no fuck a tender brand buffle ofplenty of young trying and trying and happen

(01:28:15):
to bluck because we all know datingkind of sucks. Sarah and Adam are
dula a kind says stupid shit andshe doesn't mind they're not doing with this,
so don't make any fuck life asa chickenoos father say Bucks, why
does it work? We'll hear withthe cruck. They all know dating kind

(01:28:38):
of sucks. Dating kind of sucks.

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