F*ck Buddies: A Sex and Dating Advice Podcast

If you saw me outside your home staring into your windows from the street... no, you didn't.  Topics include a drive-by creeping, an exciting new masturbation technique, channeling your inner Moody, and pity sex.

If you're concerned about Dain's energy in this episode, just remember he's shirtless.  That should explain everything.  Topics include using Snapchat as a cold-call dating app, the mystery behind two hour sessions, info dumped on the Tea app, and being a starfish.

I think we can all agree that we've ALL wanted to see our friend's penis before... right?  Right?  Topics include your friend is undergoing a slutification,  constructing the perfect text to ask him out, drunken genital requests, dating when you're a trainwreck.

Everyone knows that oppressive government regimes are huge fans of the local music scene.  Topics include caught with a a less than true Instagram story, asking someone out who isn't responding, can you just live your life without cold approaching.

If anyone needs a dog to rent for their Tinder photoshoot, please contact me.  I have a wide range of available makes and models.  Topics include staging a doggy photoshoot, taking pictures as a man, when sexy banter turns into a linguistic car crash, I love you too soon.

If you ever needed a brainstorming session as to what the worst type of bag a vagina could be, we've got you covered.  Topics include some much needed positivity, painful hickeys, dating misconceptions.

Well, wrap me up in a carpet and throw away my hundreds of snakes because I refuse to believe any woman doesn't want a vagina full of magic ribbon.  Topics include how to make your relationship disappear, the wandering eye that is actually pretty stationary, skipping lay day on first dates, and a Tinder profile 2000 swipes in the making.

Buckle up for Hetero Awesomefest 2, the second lamest musical event of the summer!  Topics include an untrustworthy retelling of Chris Brown's crimes, an ass maneuver, catching the bouquet just to drop the mildest joke. Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

We celebrate pride with two of our favourite people live at the Black Sheep!  Trevor Campbell and Tim Lagman join us for a night of advice and laughs.

Listen to Trevor on Queerial! Listen to Tim on Sex Ed with Tim!

Catch this episode before it disappears like the Declaration of Independence or whatever they're to steal in Now You See Me 3D.  Topics include tearing and texting, bringing up the snip, altar to an asshole, treat your dick pics like food bloggers.

Remember when we were all stuck at home and were so horny that all of our dicks got injured?  Topics include permanent jewelry is ultimate betrayal, the unending erection, not trying to get laid on a first date, and hole preference.

Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

I swear the splatter of suspicious liquids all over my walls, floors and ceilings are just from my cat's medicine!  Topics include the sweetest dirty talk, deepthroat inadequacies, disclosing your circumcision status, mandatory eye contact.  

Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

When I'm reaching the expiry of my cum-clock, I like to play The Final Countdown as loud as possible to really drive the point home.  Topics include sexual performance under scrutiny in front of family, voyeur baiting, co-worker rejection, the loneliness epidemic. Join the Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fbuddies

Just try to stump us, we dare you!  Topics include interracial dating techniques, a surprise ejaculation, being the side character in your boyfriends rom-com arc, unacceptable sluttiness.

DOGS DON'T GO TO HEAVEN!  Topics include dating teenagers as an adult, statuesque sex, oopsie poopsie, judgmental friends. Join the Patreon: www.patreon.com/fbuddies 

In this episode we go into great detail that arcane secrets you must comprehend and master in order to pee just enough to make someone think it's jizz.  Topics include semen Houdini, difference between sex and making love, a racially charged kink, hooking up after the break up.  

In this laser focused episode, we don't go on a single tangent and stay on topic the entire time.  Topics include literal trust falls, no rhythm, the dog training method, how to use someone you're already using.

Join the Patreon!

For all you deviant dads out there, be sure to smash that like and subscribe button to keep up to date on all your gooner gags.  Topics include a suspicious dad profile picture, dude looks like a lady, Android-based ick, don't be afraid to catch feelings.

Time to crank one out before the season ends, boys.  WE WILL NOT FINISH IN BRONZE.  Topics include a real stinker of a husband, should I stay or should I go, eye roll emojis in an argument, and doing the bare minimum.