April 24, 2025 • 17 mins
We are looking back at this viral moment that inspired us asking our listeners if anyone has left a romantic note for them and we revisit another viral moment from earlier, friend of the show Hugh van Cuylenburg's raw moment as he reads an open letter to other parents of Neurodivergent people.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It fits in with Kate podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
One's ever left you a note? Maybe they had a
bit of a crush on you and thought I might
write and no to remember we make cam Chrissy Swan nine.
And he decided when he was at the park one day,
he saw this really attractive girl get out of the car,
so he decided to leave a note. He wrote on
a piece of paper and put it under her windscreen wiper,
(00:27):
and it said, this is not a fine but you.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Are, Oh dear, that's too much and it's not the
idea of a handwritten note. It's so old fashioned.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
And I just want to know, whip does a count
the note that you left me at work?
Speaker 1 (00:45):
That just said, Swanny, can I borrow a hundred bucks?
That's the same thing.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Well, that was a sort of a more of It
was definitely love, more of a trust exercise. Okay, sure sure,
And unfortunately you have brought it up on here, so
that failed. Thanks for the hunding. Let's move on to
a girl by the name of Steph. She was waiting
at the airport. And you know when you're at the
airport and you see the captain walk past, and he's
(01:09):
got his four stripes on his lapel, and he's he's
ready to go, and the equivalent.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Of seeing the person that you're that you've gone to
see in concert getting ready to get on the stage.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
It's like, oh my god, a magical unicorn.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
And when there's so many people at a busy airport
and then you see the man and he's in uniform,
it's like he's controlling the world and you know that
you're about to put your life in that man's hands,
and you love it.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
You you react to pilots a lot different to normal people, though,
with because you have a fear of flying. So you
go over there basically on your knees, saying, is the
plane all right?
Speaker 4 (01:46):
What's the weather?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Life that is not at all?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Are you drunk? Did you sleep last night? All that
sort of stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yeah, yeah, on any meds. What's going on in your life?
You have in your relationship?
Speaker 1 (01:58):
You are going to this bag, let's go.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So Steph was waiting at the airport and she saw
this pilot walk past. Now that was one thing, but
for the pilot to then notice her was another thing.
He wandered off and in that time grabbed a pen
and a napkin, and he wrote something on a piece
of paper on that napkin, and then wandered back past
(02:21):
Steph and handed it to her without a word.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
It's so poetic. Read it out, read it out we go.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
He wrote, I have seen the whole world and you
are the most beautiful human in it.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Human?
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Miss?
Speaker 5 (02:40):
Read?
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Woman in it?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
We're going to go again on that.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Absolute human means like I could go either way. I'm
going again, robots. I have seen the whole world and
you are the most beautiful woman in it. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Well, I don't know if this is going to be
a popular opinion, but I love this.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Sort of It's divided a few people saying that's unprofessional.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
We shouldn't do that. You're in a position of power.
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Oh, he's just a man and she's just a woman.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
He's a man on a mission, he flies planes, and
he loves women.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Could I He didn't leave any details, which means that
he's also married with four kids.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Matter.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
The compliment remains, and.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I'd like to know too, Swanny, if you're not leaving
a number or making a further advance to stay in
touch with that woman. How many times has he written
that see.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
This is the other thing that I want to ask, right,
And I immediately think of when I think of a pilot,
I think of Leonardo DiCaprio and Cashmi. If you can,
and why can't you? You don't have to be a pilot, right,
Why can't you hang out at airports with the uniform
on and you just pick up women at airports?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Why can't you do that?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
So that's sex by deception, Yes it is, and that
should only be used in workplaces and not in public,
not in public transport situations.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Well, look, I like that there was no I like
that there was no follow up, that there was no
you know, sort of you know, unwritten sentence of you
at the most beautiful women in the world and I
would like to sleep with you. It was almost like
a community service announcement. That's something that she needs to know.
(04:35):
Just think it's beautiful. And also have you seen her?
I think he might be right.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah, I think he's spot on. Mattie's got a story, producer, Maddie,
what's your story?
Speaker 5 (04:43):
I was at a cafe recently and I ordered my
cappuccino and when it came out, it had single question
mark written in the latte arts.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
What is going on with you? What juju do you have?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
We did a Phona about you know, has a stranger
approached you and.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
You had a story that's what's going on. I don't know,
because I remember.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I told you about the cafe that we go to,
the local one. He started writing on he would do
a love heart. He would just draw a love heart
on the top of Lisa's coffee cup. And then for
our neighbor, he dropped his phone number on the top.
He wrote his number on the plastic lid on top
of the coffee. Yeah, and as she left her husband
(05:27):
and three kids and they've hooked up and she's now
a qualified barrista. Oh you're no. Why extended there, Maddie?
What did you say to this guy? Was he hot?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
I quietly left.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I felt very awkward A relationship you engaged.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Yeah, if I was single, I think it's a great
way to pick up.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
But you're not married, so I mean there's still a
bit of gray area and some room to move before
you do get married.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
I don't think they're negative.
Speaker 5 (05:57):
That note that you received from that woman saying to
be the banks down court in March twenty.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Eight, it's more forceful.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Hand wish guys. This is the Fitzian with Cape Ridgie podcast.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
This is an important one because over the weekend and
it's neuro divergent week too, Hugh Van Carlmberg made a
very very powerful piece to camera from his Imperfect podcast Fits.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Yeah he did. We adore this podcast.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
On this show, they discussed mental health, the challenges that
we all have in life, and being vulnerable and my gosh,
the emotion that I had watching Hugh over the weekend.
He was talking about the struggles that he's faced as
the father of a neurodivergent child.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Have a listen to this.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
Three years ago, one of our kids was diagnosed autistic.
I know life is unpredictable, but I never saw this coming.
I never anticipated that I might one day experience this
amount I might one day experience this amount of pain.
The pain of being a parent to an autistic child
is not the child, it's the world. The pain is
(07:08):
seeing your child standing on the sidelines, confused, distressed, and
left out while the other kids instinctively understand the rules
and the social norms. It's watching the world overwhelm them
and then holding them through yet another meltdown. And if
you've ever been in public, holding your child through their
hardest moment, feeling the weight of every stare, every whispered comment,
(07:32):
every judgment, You're not alone. To the strangers who see
a child in distress and choose to laugh for a judge,
you don't have to understand, just be kind. But to
the parents listening to this, carrying more than anyone knows,
I feel you, I feel your pain your child. Your
(07:53):
child is extraordinary, not despite their differences, but because of them. Obviously,
and even in our hardest moments, even when they cannot
say it, they feel your love. They know you are
their safe place. You are the most important thing in
their world, the one who never stops fighting for them.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Hugh Van allen Berg, you welcome to the show. First
of all, from the man that's hit the first six
onto the Prime Minister's.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
House at Kurabilly House.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
You to go from that to hearing what we heard
over the weekend. We appreciate you coming on the show.
It must have been very tough for you leading up
to that, you knowing what you're about to do and
being that vulnerable.
Speaker 7 (08:40):
Yeah, that's the first time I've listened back to it
since I did it. We actually did it probably about
three weeks ago, and now I'm back in that same
place again. I've never experienced anything like that. It actually
so I had the idea to write that letter or
to do something on the podcast and actually talk about
the struggles of being a parent of a neurodiversion child
(09:03):
in our case autism, and I come up with idea
in November, and it quite literally took me two months
to write that because I just wanted to get every
word but to honor that much, want to make sure
I get every word right and every person and parent
who understands his un I just really wanted to get
every single word right. So I took way too long
(09:24):
to write it, and then when it came into actually
reading out the studio, I've never felt an emotion like
that before. My hands are shaking for a good half
an hour after it. And I think, anyone out there
who is a parent of a neurodiversion child, you don't
give yourself too much time to get You don't cry
that much because you've got to get onto the next challenge.
And I just, for some reason, eight years worth of
(09:45):
tears came out in about half an hour.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Completely funny do you know what. What I loved about
it too, you knowing you personally, is that it's something
you hadn't shared. I mean, obviously, this is something you've
been dealing with for a while now and learning to
understand learning you know, what life is like and how
you move forward with things too, and the adventure that
you're going on. But you'd never spoken publicly about this.
Speaker 7 (10:08):
Yeah, I wanted. It was a couple of things I
needed to understand it. My wife and I need to
understand it properly ourselves. We also needed to tell our
child that they were autistic and have them understand it
and then have them be okay with it. And then
I needed to understand what the autistic community, how they
want to be talked about, and how other parents in
(10:31):
the simile position. So it just took a long time
to I didn't want the process. I mean some of
the stuff that we go through. I mean, anyone listening
in the car right now who has a child who's
on the spectrum or ADOD or whatever it is, just
to acknowledge the baffle you have been through already that
no one knows about. Just to get out of the
door today now started at four this morning. Kids. Autistic
(10:52):
kids really struggle sloping when they wake up. They don't
get back to slope. Well that's our experience. So getting
our child out of the door on not much was
a bad all this morning, but I remember the horror
I did it really was. I want people to understand
that often if you see a child who you think
is misbehaving, before you look at the parents. In we're
(11:13):
the situation. Last year, we took our child to the
football the MCG and had to leave about twenty minutes
in because they're having such a big meltdown. And it
was literally in the twenty minutes into the game and
I was still out in the front of the stadium
at the MCG about half an hour of the game
had finished two hours later because they were on the floor,
they couldn't move. They were just having the biggest meltdown.
It was too overwhelming for them. And the amount of
(11:34):
looks I got people I had one lady you say
it was something like you need to sort that out
or as if I could just and you know, I'm
not angry at those people. I just I just want
people to know that, like, this is not a child's misbehaving,
This is a child who's completely overwhelmed by the world.
And my message in that is like, the next time
(11:54):
you're walking past the child who you think is being naughty,
there's a chance that are being overwhelmed and you just
need to just a kind book to her parents as
all a package.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Yeah. Can.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
I want to be extremely honest with you because I've
done it myself growing up with my two boys and
watching them play forty I'm getting emotional talking about this.
Now you're watching you over the weekend, mate, Is that
you really struck a chord with me? Because I was
There's boys that have played in my in my junior
football team who sit in the back pocket and they
(12:24):
don't want to go near the ball, and I remember
saying comments to my.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Wife going, what the hell is that kid doing?
Speaker 5 (12:31):
You really struck a chord with me, because now I'm like,
you've really got to sit back and think about what
you're saying.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
You don't know what their kid's going through. I don't
know what their parents are going through.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
I've got no idea but for me to judge that
kid because he doesn't want to go near the ball.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
I just felt really.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
Bad about some of the perceptions that I've had of
kids over the years and going through junior football. It's
a real eye opener for all parents, even if your
child is not neuro divergent. All you need you need
to be the one that needs to make the changes here.
Speaker 7 (13:05):
Thanks to that's a I mean, just hearing that is so,
that's just that's beautiful. Thank you for that, because like
I mean, I was kicked to a guide example we
took I was kicking and that was I was so
excited to do that, but it lasted five minutes and
then it was they had a big meltdown but didn't
want to go, sorry to stay there and just I
could see pants daing, what do you like? What is
(13:28):
wrong with just so the looks were just so heartbreaking.
I just so, yeah, I appreciate it if you're thinks.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
What what I think is a really important message here,
because you know, I have some friends, including yourself, with
this situation and challenge, and one friend in particular, I think,
and I've shared this story with you. They sent their
little men to one school and the school said there's
not much we can do here for a child like yours.
(13:56):
And then they went to another school that completely embraced
the difference, completely understood the situation and made him the
star of the show and as comfortable as possible. And
I think you know you've shared a similar story also,
But I think what's so important is for the teachers
and schools to understand also what these kids might be
(14:18):
going to and how you can welcome and celebrate the difference.
Speaker 7 (14:23):
Yeah, I think. I mean, as we've had a very
very similar journey with our educational pathway for our child
in that one place kind of said yeah, we do
it well, but didn't really listen to what we were suggesting.
Send them to another place who they had a teacher
waiting out the front and for them, and it turned
(14:44):
up and who would literally celebrate when they turned up
every day and just say, cannot believe how lucky we
are to have you at our school. Just saying stuff
like that all the time, you feel really loved and
really accepted. And the difference in them was it was
life changing for all of us. But I think when
I think teachers have the toughest job in the world,
I think they're highly empathetic people. I just think all
(15:07):
of us have to remember that a child on the spectrum,
a child IDHD what the struggles that they go through,
the battles they fight, and the complexities of just getting
out the door every day and actually getting to a
place like that where there's so much uncertainty, and it's
I just find my child is my hero because I
(15:30):
to get to school every day is they're doing something
hard and I've ever done in my entire life. They
do it every single day, and we have to remember
how hard it is for those people and just to
treat them with patience and love and care and kindness.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
You are a beautiful man.
Speaker 5 (15:48):
Can we please talk about the six that you hit
on the Prime Minister's house.
Speaker 7 (15:52):
Because I actually thought that was the interview today. I
thought I thought we were talking about.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
The Perfect podcast. Have you written an open letter to
the Prime Minister?
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Back it in the ball back? I think who bold
it to you?
Speaker 6 (16:10):
You?
Speaker 5 (16:10):
Because they were feeling a bit down afterwards overpitched and.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
The kangaroo should never bowl to a professional cricketer.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
If you haven't listened to The Imperfect Podcast before, introduced
yourself to it, because it does and and for any
parent out there, it's I mean, this is a beautiful
episode here. We really appreciate your honesty mating coming on
the show and opening up about this because, like I said,
even if you're not a parent of a neurodivergent child,
(16:48):
anyone around you I think this affects you as well
and the way that you should approach, you know, children
in this situation, or anyone even in the workplace or
wherever you are.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
So here, we really appreciate your honesty, mate.
Speaker 7 (17:03):
I really appreciate Amy on boys love you both and yeah, tot.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
You so you're beautiful, So you mate, thank you so much.
Show but Sits in Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a
Nova podcast to walk great shows like this.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
Download the Nova Player.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Fly the App Store or Google Play.
Speaker 7 (17:17):
In the Nova Player
It fits in with Kate podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
One's ever left you a note? Maybe they had a
bit of a crush on you and thought I might
write and no to remember we make cam Chrissy Swan nine.
And he decided when he was at the park one day,
he saw this really attractive girl get out of the car,
so he decided to leave a note. He wrote on
a piece of paper and put it under her windscreen wiper,
(00:27):
and it said, this is not a fine but you.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Are, Oh dear, that's too much and it's not the
idea of a handwritten note. It's so old fashioned.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
And I just want to know, whip does a count
the note that you left me at work?
Speaker 1 (00:45):
That just said, Swanny, can I borrow a hundred bucks?
That's the same thing.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Well, that was a sort of a more of It
was definitely love, more of a trust exercise. Okay, sure sure,
And unfortunately you have brought it up on here, so
that failed. Thanks for the hunding. Let's move on to
a girl by the name of Steph. She was waiting
at the airport. And you know when you're at the
airport and you see the captain walk past, and he's
(01:09):
got his four stripes on his lapel, and he's he's
ready to go, and the equivalent.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Of seeing the person that you're that you've gone to
see in concert getting ready to get on the stage.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
It's like, oh my god, a magical unicorn.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
And when there's so many people at a busy airport
and then you see the man and he's in uniform,
it's like he's controlling the world and you know that
you're about to put your life in that man's hands,
and you love it.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
You you react to pilots a lot different to normal people, though,
with because you have a fear of flying. So you
go over there basically on your knees, saying, is the
plane all right?
Speaker 4 (01:46):
What's the weather?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Life that is not at all?
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Are you drunk? Did you sleep last night? All that
sort of stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Yeah, yeah, on any meds. What's going on in your life?
You have in your relationship?
Speaker 1 (01:58):
You are going to this bag, let's go.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So Steph was waiting at the airport and she saw
this pilot walk past. Now that was one thing, but
for the pilot to then notice her was another thing.
He wandered off and in that time grabbed a pen
and a napkin, and he wrote something on a piece
of paper on that napkin, and then wandered back past
(02:21):
Steph and handed it to her without a word.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
It's so poetic. Read it out, read it out we go.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
He wrote, I have seen the whole world and you
are the most beautiful human in it.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Human?
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Miss?
Speaker 5 (02:40):
Read?
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Woman in it?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
We're going to go again on that.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Absolute human means like I could go either way. I'm
going again, robots. I have seen the whole world and
you are the most beautiful woman in it. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Well, I don't know if this is going to be
a popular opinion, but I love this.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Sort of It's divided a few people saying that's unprofessional.
Speaker 4 (03:12):
We shouldn't do that. You're in a position of power.
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Oh, he's just a man and she's just a woman.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
He's a man on a mission, he flies planes, and
he loves women.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Could I He didn't leave any details, which means that
he's also married with four kids.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Matter.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
The compliment remains, and.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I'd like to know too, Swanny, if you're not leaving
a number or making a further advance to stay in
touch with that woman. How many times has he written
that see.
Speaker 5 (03:43):
This is the other thing that I want to ask, right,
And I immediately think of when I think of a pilot,
I think of Leonardo DiCaprio and Cashmi. If you can,
and why can't you? You don't have to be a pilot, right,
Why can't you hang out at airports with the uniform
on and you just pick up women at airports?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Why can't you do that?
Speaker 2 (04:03):
So that's sex by deception, Yes it is, and that
should only be used in workplaces and not in public,
not in public transport situations.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Well, look, I like that there was no I like
that there was no follow up, that there was no
you know, sort of you know, unwritten sentence of you
at the most beautiful women in the world and I
would like to sleep with you. It was almost like
a community service announcement. That's something that she needs to know.
(04:35):
Just think it's beautiful. And also have you seen her?
I think he might be right.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah, I think he's spot on. Mattie's got a story, producer, Maddie,
what's your story?
Speaker 5 (04:43):
I was at a cafe recently and I ordered my
cappuccino and when it came out, it had single question
mark written in the latte arts.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
What is going on with you? What juju do you have?
Speaker 3 (04:58):
We did a Phona about you know, has a stranger
approached you and.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
You had a story that's what's going on. I don't know,
because I remember.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I told you about the cafe that we go to,
the local one. He started writing on he would do
a love heart. He would just draw a love heart
on the top of Lisa's coffee cup. And then for
our neighbor, he dropped his phone number on the top.
He wrote his number on the plastic lid on top
of the coffee. Yeah, and as she left her husband
(05:27):
and three kids and they've hooked up and she's now
a qualified barrista. Oh you're no. Why extended there, Maddie?
What did you say to this guy? Was he hot?
Speaker 4 (05:38):
I quietly left.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I felt very awkward A relationship you engaged.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Yeah, if I was single, I think it's a great
way to pick up.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
But you're not married, so I mean there's still a
bit of gray area and some room to move before
you do get married.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
I don't think they're negative.
Speaker 5 (05:57):
That note that you received from that woman saying to
be the banks down court in March twenty.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Eight, it's more forceful.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Hand wish guys. This is the Fitzian with Cape Ridgie podcast.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
This is an important one because over the weekend and
it's neuro divergent week too, Hugh Van Carlmberg made a
very very powerful piece to camera from his Imperfect podcast Fits.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Yeah he did. We adore this podcast.
Speaker 5 (06:28):
On this show, they discussed mental health, the challenges that
we all have in life, and being vulnerable and my gosh,
the emotion that I had watching Hugh over the weekend.
He was talking about the struggles that he's faced as
the father of a neurodivergent child.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Have a listen to this.
Speaker 6 (06:46):
Three years ago, one of our kids was diagnosed autistic.
I know life is unpredictable, but I never saw this coming.
I never anticipated that I might one day experience this
amount I might one day experience this amount of pain.
The pain of being a parent to an autistic child
is not the child, it's the world. The pain is
(07:08):
seeing your child standing on the sidelines, confused, distressed, and
left out while the other kids instinctively understand the rules
and the social norms. It's watching the world overwhelm them
and then holding them through yet another meltdown. And if
you've ever been in public, holding your child through their
hardest moment, feeling the weight of every stare, every whispered comment,
(07:32):
every judgment, You're not alone. To the strangers who see
a child in distress and choose to laugh for a judge,
you don't have to understand, just be kind. But to
the parents listening to this, carrying more than anyone knows,
I feel you, I feel your pain your child. Your
(07:53):
child is extraordinary, not despite their differences, but because of them. Obviously,
and even in our hardest moments, even when they cannot
say it, they feel your love. They know you are
their safe place. You are the most important thing in
their world, the one who never stops fighting for them.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Hugh Van allen Berg, you welcome to the show. First
of all, from the man that's hit the first six
onto the Prime Minister's.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
House at Kurabilly House.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
You to go from that to hearing what we heard
over the weekend. We appreciate you coming on the show.
It must have been very tough for you leading up
to that, you knowing what you're about to do and
being that vulnerable.
Speaker 7 (08:40):
Yeah, that's the first time I've listened back to it
since I did it. We actually did it probably about
three weeks ago, and now I'm back in that same
place again. I've never experienced anything like that. It actually
so I had the idea to write that letter or
to do something on the podcast and actually talk about
the struggles of being a parent of a neurodiversion child
(09:03):
in our case autism, and I come up with idea
in November, and it quite literally took me two months
to write that because I just wanted to get every
word but to honor that much, want to make sure
I get every word right and every person and parent
who understands his un I just really wanted to get
every single word right. So I took way too long
(09:24):
to write it, and then when it came into actually
reading out the studio, I've never felt an emotion like
that before. My hands are shaking for a good half
an hour after it. And I think, anyone out there
who is a parent of a neurodiversion child, you don't
give yourself too much time to get You don't cry
that much because you've got to get onto the next challenge.
And I just, for some reason, eight years worth of
(09:45):
tears came out in about half an hour.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Completely funny do you know what. What I loved about
it too, you knowing you personally, is that it's something
you hadn't shared. I mean, obviously, this is something you've
been dealing with for a while now and learning to
understand learning you know, what life is like and how
you move forward with things too, and the adventure that
you're going on. But you'd never spoken publicly about this.
Speaker 7 (10:08):
Yeah, I wanted. It was a couple of things I
needed to understand it. My wife and I need to
understand it properly ourselves. We also needed to tell our
child that they were autistic and have them understand it
and then have them be okay with it. And then
I needed to understand what the autistic community, how they
want to be talked about, and how other parents in
(10:31):
the simile position. So it just took a long time
to I didn't want the process. I mean some of
the stuff that we go through. I mean, anyone listening
in the car right now who has a child who's
on the spectrum or ADOD or whatever it is, just
to acknowledge the baffle you have been through already that
no one knows about. Just to get out of the
door today now started at four this morning. Kids. Autistic
(10:52):
kids really struggle sloping when they wake up. They don't
get back to slope. Well that's our experience. So getting
our child out of the door on not much was
a bad all this morning, but I remember the horror
I did it really was. I want people to understand
that often if you see a child who you think
is misbehaving, before you look at the parents. In we're
(11:13):
the situation. Last year, we took our child to the
football the MCG and had to leave about twenty minutes
in because they're having such a big meltdown. And it
was literally in the twenty minutes into the game and
I was still out in the front of the stadium
at the MCG about half an hour of the game
had finished two hours later because they were on the floor,
they couldn't move. They were just having the biggest meltdown.
It was too overwhelming for them. And the amount of
(11:34):
looks I got people I had one lady you say
it was something like you need to sort that out
or as if I could just and you know, I'm
not angry at those people. I just I just want
people to know that, like, this is not a child's misbehaving,
This is a child who's completely overwhelmed by the world.
And my message in that is like, the next time
(11:54):
you're walking past the child who you think is being naughty,
there's a chance that are being overwhelmed and you just
need to just a kind book to her parents as
all a package.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Yeah. Can.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
I want to be extremely honest with you because I've
done it myself growing up with my two boys and
watching them play forty I'm getting emotional talking about this.
Now you're watching you over the weekend, mate, Is that
you really struck a chord with me? Because I was
There's boys that have played in my in my junior
football team who sit in the back pocket and they
(12:24):
don't want to go near the ball, and I remember
saying comments to my.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
Wife going, what the hell is that kid doing?
Speaker 5 (12:31):
You really struck a chord with me, because now I'm like,
you've really got to sit back and think about what
you're saying.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
You don't know what their kid's going through. I don't
know what their parents are going through.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
I've got no idea but for me to judge that
kid because he doesn't want to go near the ball.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
I just felt really.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
Bad about some of the perceptions that I've had of
kids over the years and going through junior football. It's
a real eye opener for all parents, even if your
child is not neuro divergent. All you need you need
to be the one that needs to make the changes here.
Speaker 7 (13:05):
Thanks to that's a I mean, just hearing that is so,
that's just that's beautiful. Thank you for that, because like
I mean, I was kicked to a guide example we
took I was kicking and that was I was so
excited to do that, but it lasted five minutes and
then it was they had a big meltdown but didn't
want to go, sorry to stay there and just I
could see pants daing, what do you like? What is
(13:28):
wrong with just so the looks were just so heartbreaking.
I just so, yeah, I appreciate it if you're thinks.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
What what I think is a really important message here,
because you know, I have some friends, including yourself, with
this situation and challenge, and one friend in particular, I think,
and I've shared this story with you. They sent their
little men to one school and the school said there's
not much we can do here for a child like yours.
(13:56):
And then they went to another school that completely embraced
the difference, completely understood the situation and made him the
star of the show and as comfortable as possible. And
I think you know you've shared a similar story also,
But I think what's so important is for the teachers
and schools to understand also what these kids might be
(14:18):
going to and how you can welcome and celebrate the difference.
Speaker 7 (14:23):
Yeah, I think. I mean, as we've had a very
very similar journey with our educational pathway for our child
in that one place kind of said yeah, we do
it well, but didn't really listen to what we were suggesting.
Send them to another place who they had a teacher
waiting out the front and for them, and it turned
(14:44):
up and who would literally celebrate when they turned up
every day and just say, cannot believe how lucky we
are to have you at our school. Just saying stuff
like that all the time, you feel really loved and
really accepted. And the difference in them was it was
life changing for all of us. But I think when
I think teachers have the toughest job in the world,
I think they're highly empathetic people. I just think all
(15:07):
of us have to remember that a child on the spectrum,
a child IDHD what the struggles that they go through,
the battles they fight, and the complexities of just getting
out the door every day and actually getting to a
place like that where there's so much uncertainty, and it's
I just find my child is my hero because I
(15:30):
to get to school every day is they're doing something
hard and I've ever done in my entire life. They
do it every single day, and we have to remember
how hard it is for those people and just to
treat them with patience and love and care and kindness.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
You are a beautiful man.
Speaker 5 (15:48):
Can we please talk about the six that you hit
on the Prime Minister's house.
Speaker 7 (15:52):
Because I actually thought that was the interview today. I
thought I thought we were talking about.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
The Perfect podcast. Have you written an open letter to
the Prime Minister?
Speaker 4 (16:01):
Back it in the ball back? I think who bold
it to you?
Speaker 6 (16:10):
You?
Speaker 5 (16:10):
Because they were feeling a bit down afterwards overpitched and.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
The kangaroo should never bowl to a professional cricketer.
Speaker 5 (16:27):
If you haven't listened to The Imperfect Podcast before, introduced
yourself to it, because it does and and for any
parent out there, it's I mean, this is a beautiful
episode here. We really appreciate your honesty mating coming on
the show and opening up about this because, like I said,
even if you're not a parent of a neurodivergent child,
(16:48):
anyone around you I think this affects you as well
and the way that you should approach, you know, children
in this situation, or anyone even in the workplace or
wherever you are.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
So here, we really appreciate your honesty, mate.
Speaker 7 (17:03):
I really appreciate Amy on boys love you both and yeah, tot.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
You so you're beautiful, So you mate, thank you so much.
Show but Sits in Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a
Nova podcast to walk great shows like this.
Speaker 4 (17:14):
Download the Nova Player.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Fly the App Store or Google Play.
Speaker 7 (17:17):
In the Nova Player
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