August 4, 2025 • 10 mins
It's never easy when your family doesn’t approve of your partner, but what about when they go a step further and get too involved?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Fitting In with Kate Richie podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I got a personal one here fits really tricky situation.
Friend of mine, let's call it Claire. Claire has been
on the dating scene for quite a while, tried a
couple of the apps and not a lot of luck. Anyway,
in recent times through some mutual friends, meets a guy
out and about his name is let's call him Kevin.
(00:27):
So Claire and Kevin and they have been dating, I
would say, or in the early stages of dating for
about three.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
To four weeks.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Okay, so that's a good start and things are going
really well.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Then there's the next step in the relationship. Yeah, we
all know that next minute.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Where he says, Claire, maybe you should meet my family.
Everyone's a little bit nervous about that because it's kind
of like pulling back the curtain, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
And yeah, seeing what's behind.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
You're cementing the relationship. That's a huge step. You're pretty
keen to maybe take it to the next level.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yeah, because you're saying to the family, here's someone I've
chosen and I'm not going to introduce them unless they
are considered a possibility all time, and someone who I
think the family would like anyway.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
So they go over. It's Sunday Rice classic stuff. Great
to meet you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, Claire. Sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Kevin then gets a phone call that night. So they've
had lunch that night, probably four hours after lunch and
they've left, gets a phone call from Kevin's mum who
rings and just says, you can do better than that. Now,
(01:49):
Kevin and Claire have been dating for a while and
from his own mum, he is from his own mum
who called and said, you can do better than that,
And that would just be heartbreaking because maybe you're completely
in love with girl and you see a future. And secondly,
you're insulting my judgment as well. And this happens in
families where people then go, well, I need to make
(02:11):
a decision. Am I going to push my family away
because I'm in love and my gut says I'm over here?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Or is blood thicker than water?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
And you stay with your family because mum's been right
and knows best because that's what you brought up to believe.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
So did Lisa blow up?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
No no, no, no, no no sorry.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
No situation, just a friend of mine.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I'm not suggesting that I'm just friends, forteen years down
the track of marriage and mum's decided to say Lisia
is not good enough.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
He could have told me earlier. Got three kids with
her mum. So what would you do?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
And have you been in a situation like this where
the family has said not good enough or I don't
think it's the right way forward. It happened to some
other friends of ours where he said to the daughter.
Dad said to the daughter, he will never.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Grow with you.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
That's how he worded it. He'll never grow with you, darling.
And she chose to still marry him and he's.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
A bit of a drip. But that's okay. These things happen,
Felicity in North Sydney. What did you want to say? Fits?
Speaker 4 (03:14):
No, I was going to say, every family is protective
and it's very It takes a while to get the.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Trust from a family.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
So you've got to push through that initial sort of response,
don't it?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
You do, you do, Felicity? Is it okay for a
mother to intervene like this?
Speaker 5 (03:30):
Hi, guys, well, I think initially, I think an opinion
is a good thing. This happened with my husband and
I and it was his mom, not so keen on
me to begin with, and then he said, you know, sorry, Mum,
I'm just going to push on and give it a
bit more time. And thankfully he did, because we've been
(03:53):
made twenty years.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Now, right, Okay, So he pushed.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
Through it, push through it, and now the mother in
law and I are super close and it's all worked
out really well.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
What about the one, Felicity, because this happened to me too.
I was dating a girl for a while and then
we broke up, and then both my mother and two
sisters said we never liked her anyway, and so they
held back on hot telling me during the relationship and
just hoping that it wouldn't go anywhere you.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Need to do. But I agree with their decision. You
need to work that out for yourself.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I don't think family members should be getting involved.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I don't think no.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Mom and dad always all right with your very protect,
very protective early on BJ, it took BJ quite a
while to earn their trust. And like Felicity just said,
my mum and BJ now are best mates. They do
they do stuff with each other every single day now.
But it took what Dad was more protective than mum,
(04:55):
but they never said anything to me because they knew
that I had to work it out.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Well, that's true, Lena, welcome to the show. It's good involved, Lena.
Speaker 6 (05:05):
So it's actually the officer. I'm not for the parents
getting involved. I think they've got to figure it out
her own. But my I actually started speaking to a
guy she was a bit hesitant about. But my mum
actually put her input and said, you know, I think
this is really good and pass forward five years later
they're still married, expecting their first child.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
That's good, is Elena?
Speaker 6 (05:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I quite like that.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
So Elena, that that's great advice from mom.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
I mean, it's you know, it's not it's usually they're
being protective of you and they're being negative about someone
that you've just met.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
But if she's just gone, I really like this guy.
Stick with it. That's great.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Remember to stick through.
Speaker 6 (05:44):
Go through all the troubles and stuff of a relationship,
and five years later worked out amazingly.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Tall We remember what your dad said to you?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Oh what did my dad definitely say to me.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
You're a bit of a basic kid and she's into you.
Hang on to it.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Oh yeah, hang on to it. Yeah she did.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
The pro would say that Brian would never get involved,
did he get involved with continue doing it for quite
a while, where your parents sort of saying to you,
to me, maybe make a move within and we really
like it.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Yeah, moment mine were fine.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Her parents were a bit cautious of me because they
said I was suspiciously nice.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah, suspiciously nice. I would agree with that. Yeah, they
thought there was something untoward.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
You're the kind of guy who is ninety nine point
nine percent of the time perfect until he turns up
to work with an M sixteen.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
You're that kind of It's like he's too nice and
there's got to be bodies buried somewhere. And there was
Victoria in Bourel. Tell us about your brothers, Vic, Yeah, look.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
I think it was a good intentions, I believe, but
they just really heavily do not like my partner.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Oh no, I.
Speaker 7 (06:51):
Like my older brother's dealing with it. But my younger brother,
every time I see him, it's always like last he
broke up, broke up, And I was like, why do
you ask? He just goes, oh, you could do better,
all right, what's better?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Protective?
Speaker 4 (07:06):
You see, that's protective brothers. They shouldn't they should not
be getting involved.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
So can you?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
So can your boyfriend socialize with him at all or
not at all?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Victoria?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Oh he does, it just goes.
Speaker 5 (07:18):
It's really awkward.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
So thank you, Vick, appreciate the coronet and greenacre. What's
your situation?
Speaker 7 (07:25):
Mother in laws? That's all I have to say. Toxic
mother in law's yes, Yet my mother in law does
not like me. My partner and I have been together
nearly ten years, and my god, the things that she
had started. She told my partner that I'm choosing to
be with him and I'm the one that's making the
(07:47):
decision to stay with him. Told my partner I'm not
good enough for him, told my partner and I that
I am not allowed to be pregnant next month in
July when her wedding is going to be and she
doesn't want the limelight on me. My partner and I
get married next month. She has removed herself from our wedding.
(08:10):
I hear our wedding is going to be too much
attention on her.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Give me.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
She's a stinker.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Does your your your bloke he understands that.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Does he see where you're coming from? He backs you up.
Speaker 7 (08:27):
I am one hundred percent blessed that I have the
best partner and she through it all, and unfortunately they
haven't spoken since January because of her own decisions. And
like I said, we're getting married next month, so this
is going to continue.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Rene.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
That's really hard. I feel for you. It's hard for
you and for your husband.
Speaker 7 (08:49):
Yeah. Yeah, that's her loss. Yeah, yeah, exactly exactly. And
she's going to miss out on the grandkids relationship.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
That crazy fol She comes to her senses.
Speaker 7 (09:01):
Renee hopefully, but I doubt it.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Tommy. I feel for a name. We've got to, like
a trading toilet paper or chicken.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
I don't think chicken is not going to help. Yeah,
why don't we do?
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Oh this is nice pathology?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
No, we can do.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Why we do a pair of Specs Savers frames with
any lens options valued up to four hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yeah, give it to your mother in law. Tell her
to get a new outlook on life.
Speaker 6 (09:29):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Yeah, should have gone to spect So say that to
your partner, what's wrong?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
What's up with your mum? Should have gone to Specs?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
That good luck with everything, good luck for the wedding.
Thank you, I love you, and I'm going to.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Miss you don't do that because she doesn't have a
mother in law.
Speaker 7 (09:46):
Mate, bye bye.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
She's having a tough time, so I can't hugger over
the radio because huggs don't make sounds, so giving a
little quick So.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
How many like, I mean, how many people? What did
you have to change in that story? When it's in?
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast walk great
shows like this. Download the Nova Player via the App
Store or Google Play.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
The
This is the Fitting In with Kate Richie podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I got a personal one here fits really tricky situation.
Friend of mine, let's call it Claire. Claire has been
on the dating scene for quite a while, tried a
couple of the apps and not a lot of luck. Anyway,
in recent times through some mutual friends, meets a guy
out and about his name is let's call him Kevin.
(00:27):
So Claire and Kevin and they have been dating, I
would say, or in the early stages of dating for
about three.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
To four weeks.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Okay, so that's a good start and things are going
really well.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Then there's the next step in the relationship. Yeah, we
all know that next minute.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Where he says, Claire, maybe you should meet my family.
Everyone's a little bit nervous about that because it's kind
of like pulling back the curtain, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
And yeah, seeing what's behind.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
You're cementing the relationship. That's a huge step. You're pretty
keen to maybe take it to the next level.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yeah, because you're saying to the family, here's someone I've
chosen and I'm not going to introduce them unless they
are considered a possibility all time, and someone who I
think the family would like anyway.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
So they go over. It's Sunday Rice classic stuff. Great
to meet you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, Claire. Sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Kevin then gets a phone call that night. So they've
had lunch that night, probably four hours after lunch and
they've left, gets a phone call from Kevin's mum who
rings and just says, you can do better than that. Now,
(01:49):
Kevin and Claire have been dating for a while and
from his own mum, he is from his own mum
who called and said, you can do better than that,
And that would just be heartbreaking because maybe you're completely
in love with girl and you see a future. And secondly,
you're insulting my judgment as well. And this happens in
families where people then go, well, I need to make
(02:11):
a decision. Am I going to push my family away
because I'm in love and my gut says I'm over here?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Or is blood thicker than water?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
And you stay with your family because mum's been right
and knows best because that's what you brought up to believe.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
So did Lisa blow up?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
No no, no, no, no no sorry.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
No situation, just a friend of mine.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I'm not suggesting that I'm just friends, forteen years down
the track of marriage and mum's decided to say Lisia
is not good enough.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
He could have told me earlier. Got three kids with
her mum. So what would you do?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
And have you been in a situation like this where
the family has said not good enough or I don't
think it's the right way forward. It happened to some
other friends of ours where he said to the daughter.
Dad said to the daughter, he will never.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Grow with you.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
That's how he worded it. He'll never grow with you, darling.
And she chose to still marry him and he's.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
A bit of a drip. But that's okay. These things happen,
Felicity in North Sydney. What did you want to say? Fits?
Speaker 4 (03:14):
No, I was going to say, every family is protective
and it's very It takes a while to get the.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Trust from a family.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
So you've got to push through that initial sort of response,
don't it?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
You do, you do, Felicity? Is it okay for a
mother to intervene like this?
Speaker 5 (03:30):
Hi, guys, well, I think initially, I think an opinion
is a good thing. This happened with my husband and
I and it was his mom, not so keen on
me to begin with, and then he said, you know, sorry, Mum,
I'm just going to push on and give it a
bit more time. And thankfully he did, because we've been
(03:53):
made twenty years.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Now, right, Okay, So he pushed.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
Through it, push through it, and now the mother in
law and I are super close and it's all worked
out really well.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
What about the one, Felicity, because this happened to me too.
I was dating a girl for a while and then
we broke up, and then both my mother and two
sisters said we never liked her anyway, and so they
held back on hot telling me during the relationship and
just hoping that it wouldn't go anywhere you.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Need to do. But I agree with their decision. You
need to work that out for yourself.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
I don't think family members should be getting involved.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I don't think no.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Mom and dad always all right with your very protect,
very protective early on BJ, it took BJ quite a
while to earn their trust. And like Felicity just said,
my mum and BJ now are best mates. They do
they do stuff with each other every single day now.
But it took what Dad was more protective than mum,
(04:55):
but they never said anything to me because they knew
that I had to work it out.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Well, that's true, Lena, welcome to the show. It's good involved, Lena.
Speaker 6 (05:05):
So it's actually the officer. I'm not for the parents
getting involved. I think they've got to figure it out
her own. But my I actually started speaking to a
guy she was a bit hesitant about. But my mum
actually put her input and said, you know, I think
this is really good and pass forward five years later
they're still married, expecting their first child.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
That's good, is Elena?
Speaker 6 (05:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I quite like that.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
So Elena, that that's great advice from mom.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
I mean, it's you know, it's not it's usually they're
being protective of you and they're being negative about someone
that you've just met.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
But if she's just gone, I really like this guy.
Stick with it. That's great.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
Remember to stick through.
Speaker 6 (05:44):
Go through all the troubles and stuff of a relationship,
and five years later worked out amazingly.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Tall We remember what your dad said to you?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Oh what did my dad definitely say to me.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
You're a bit of a basic kid and she's into you.
Hang on to it.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Oh yeah, hang on to it. Yeah she did.
Speaker 4 (05:58):
The pro would say that Brian would never get involved,
did he get involved with continue doing it for quite
a while, where your parents sort of saying to you,
to me, maybe make a move within and we really
like it.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Yeah, moment mine were fine.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Her parents were a bit cautious of me because they
said I was suspiciously nice.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah, suspiciously nice. I would agree with that. Yeah, they
thought there was something untoward.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
You're the kind of guy who is ninety nine point
nine percent of the time perfect until he turns up
to work with an M sixteen.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
You're that kind of It's like he's too nice and
there's got to be bodies buried somewhere. And there was
Victoria in Bourel. Tell us about your brothers, Vic, Yeah, look.
Speaker 5 (06:41):
I think it was a good intentions, I believe, but
they just really heavily do not like my partner.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Oh no, I.
Speaker 7 (06:51):
Like my older brother's dealing with it. But my younger brother,
every time I see him, it's always like last he
broke up, broke up, And I was like, why do
you ask? He just goes, oh, you could do better,
all right, what's better?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Protective?
Speaker 4 (07:06):
You see, that's protective brothers. They shouldn't they should not
be getting involved.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
So can you?
Speaker 4 (07:11):
So can your boyfriend socialize with him at all or
not at all?
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Victoria?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Oh he does, it just goes.
Speaker 5 (07:18):
It's really awkward.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
So thank you, Vick, appreciate the coronet and greenacre. What's
your situation?
Speaker 7 (07:25):
Mother in laws? That's all I have to say. Toxic
mother in law's yes, Yet my mother in law does
not like me. My partner and I have been together
nearly ten years, and my god, the things that she
had started. She told my partner that I'm choosing to
be with him and I'm the one that's making the
(07:47):
decision to stay with him. Told my partner I'm not
good enough for him, told my partner and I that
I am not allowed to be pregnant next month in
July when her wedding is going to be and she
doesn't want the limelight on me. My partner and I
get married next month. She has removed herself from our wedding.
(08:10):
I hear our wedding is going to be too much
attention on her.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Give me.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
She's a stinker.
Speaker 4 (08:20):
Does your your your bloke he understands that.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Does he see where you're coming from? He backs you up.
Speaker 7 (08:27):
I am one hundred percent blessed that I have the
best partner and she through it all, and unfortunately they
haven't spoken since January because of her own decisions. And
like I said, we're getting married next month, so this
is going to continue.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Rene.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
That's really hard. I feel for you. It's hard for
you and for your husband.
Speaker 7 (08:49):
Yeah. Yeah, that's her loss. Yeah, yeah, exactly exactly. And
she's going to miss out on the grandkids relationship.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
That crazy fol She comes to her senses.
Speaker 7 (09:01):
Renee hopefully, but I doubt it.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Tommy. I feel for a name. We've got to, like
a trading toilet paper or chicken.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
I don't think chicken is not going to help. Yeah,
why don't we do?
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Oh this is nice pathology?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
No, we can do.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Why we do a pair of Specs Savers frames with
any lens options valued up to four hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Yeah, give it to your mother in law. Tell her
to get a new outlook on life.
Speaker 6 (09:29):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Yeah, should have gone to spect So say that to
your partner, what's wrong?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
What's up with your mum? Should have gone to Specs?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
That good luck with everything, good luck for the wedding.
Thank you, I love you, and I'm going to.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Miss you don't do that because she doesn't have a
mother in law.
Speaker 7 (09:46):
Mate, bye bye.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
She's having a tough time, so I can't hugger over
the radio because huggs don't make sounds, so giving a
little quick So.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
How many like, I mean, how many people? What did
you have to change in that story? When it's in?
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast walk great
shows like this. Download the Nova Player via the App
Store or Google Play.
Speaker 6 (10:13):
The
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