September 25, 2023 • 51 mins
Granger Smith Podcast Episode 207: Join my friend Bernie and myself as we discuss these topics and more on this week's podcast! Podcast Sponsors: Visit BetterHelp.com/Granger today to get 10% off your first month!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah, it'll change you more than you think you're going
to change the people.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
There, boom, exactly what's up everybody? Welcome back to the podcast,
Episode two and seven. Got my boy Bernie with me today. Hey.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Can I just say I love the new vibe of
the podcast, new setup.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Like it.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I feel like I talk a lot quieter and slower though.
It's just like super chill. I got a comfy chair.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, if anyone's watching right now, it might it looks light.
See if you look at the screen right there, it
looks light. Yeah, but it's actually pretty dark in the room. Yeah,
but it's good because we answer your questions. We walked
through whatever you got going on. Could be about any subject.
Email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. That's what we do,
(00:57):
especially if you want to talk about trail running. That's
like Bernie's main thing right now in life.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, trail runs.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
How when's the last time you did a trail run?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
A couple days ago?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
How long? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I did some hills on the road this morning, but
a couple of days ago. During the week I'm usually
just hitting I don't know, four or five miles, and
then on the weekends I'll do like a long trail
run get lost in the woods. Okay, highly recommend it
to anybody out there.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
No music, no podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
No music, no nothing. Yeah, you gotta take water. But
oh man, last week, guys, I'm just I'm I'm not
like super churchy. I don't use a lot of language.
It's like, I don't like to over spiritualize things. But
if you want to hear the voice of God, you
(01:49):
have to put yourself in the places that he speaks.
And one of those places for me is nature and
just by myself for an unhurried extended amount of time.
And so that was the draw to trail run in
the first place. But last week, man, it was like
he was walking right next to me. I was like, well, yeah, this,
(02:10):
It's like, oh yeah, that makes sense. And what about this?
Oh man, it's just great.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
So you keep a journal or anything from that.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh for sure.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Trail run thoughts by Bernie.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I don't have specific like trail run journal, but I
have like a journal of Hey, this run, here's you
know what I was thinking about, Here's what I felt
like God was, you know, speaking to me this specific
trail run. I was really honed in on and praying
(02:43):
through like the vision for the companies that we own,
kind of casting this vision for the next seven years,
which is a long time. But I feel like we're
in a very much a transition, or not a transition,
but the ending of one. I mean, very similar to
you man, Like I feel like our lives through parallel
a lot of ways, but there's like this new chapter
(03:04):
that's starting, and so like, as that's beginning, I want
to make sure for my team that I am like
casting a vision for them of like, hey, here's here
are the goals, here the the values, here's the aim
that we have. And I want to make sure that
if I'm giving that to people, that it's coming from
from him. So that run was very specific to all right, God,
(03:27):
we're going to go talk about this, and I pray
for revelation of some kind.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
And it's just it's it's undistracted time, is what you're
getting at. It's not necessarily running, not necessarily in the
woods or on a trail. You could you could have
it anywhere in any city. It's just the undistractedness that's right,
(03:52):
that you're looking for.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I mean, saman like he meditates on it day and night,
meditate like that word means to ponder. So these things
that we're hearing from God's were the things that are
in front of us in life, like just to like
have it could look a hundred different ways, but are
we taking the time just to like ponder, like not
(04:13):
just think about it and then go on to the
next thing and like our you know, our minds tend
to do. But like, man, I'm just gonna like stay here,
I'm gonna think about that. I'm to think about that
that verse and what that means, and I'm just gonna
like really ponder and meditate on that kill good till
it hurts.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
I'm excited for someone to comment on the podcast or
tell me in some form or maybe email Grangersmith Podcast
at gmail dot com and say, man, I started trail
running like Bernie and it's working for me. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
If anybody ever wants to go trail running and they're
in Austin, I don't know how you hit me up,
Like I'm not on social media, but you'll find me somehow.
Trail runners always find each other.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Okay, good find me.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Let's do it and maybe we'll get granger out there
one day.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Maybe quickly change the subject to the subject line of
the next question here podcast question Christians who act like Narcissists?
Is what's going to kick off the podcast today? It says,
Hey Grangeer, I'd like to stay anonymous. There's a person
in my life who claims to be a Christian parentheses.
We are in the same Bible study close parentheses, but
(05:20):
has treated me poorly for years. I believe their actions
would categorize them as a narcissist. They're always bringing up
their own life problems as if they trump anyone else's
never asking how others are. They talk about all the
opportunities they deserve above other people and how hard they work,
(05:40):
not considering the work others have put in the same
for the same opportunities. I thought we were friends for
a time, but I've had I've seen numerous attempts that
they have made to make sure I was the underdog,
and they always succeeded over me in life events, only
asking about my life if it would benefit them by
(06:01):
knowing it. My question is this, if I have this
person in my life and cannot separate myself from their presence,
how do I feel? How do I deal excuse me
with a narcissistic behavior? And should I say something to them,
especially as they claim to be Christian. I also ask
this as I bet I will encounter more people like
(06:23):
this in the future, I will truly value your cab
in the truck. Honest answer.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Anonymous, Anonymous, Okay, well the question changes my answer because
it was leading somewhere, but then they said, ok, I
cannot remove myself from their presence. Okay, So my question
to Anonymous would be like, well, why not. But let's
(06:55):
just say for some reason, their kids go to school together,
they're going to see them all the time, or you
know whatever. I think that they could still like have boundaries.
It sounds like there's just boundaries. I don't know if rebuke,
I don't know if they're in community close enough to
where it's like we need to keep each other accountable
and you know, talk through there's not that kind of relationship.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
It doesn't seem Yeah, yeah, that's what it sounds like.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
It seems more like this is Christian or not. There
needs to be boundaries put in place.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah. The only thing we really have here to go
by is that they're in the same Bible study. Oh look,
sometimes sometimes in today's world that doesn't even mean the
same church. Sometimes that just means there's a there's a
community Bible study and I see them. That used to
always mean we're in church together, right, But that doesn't
necessarily mean that. So yeah, let's walk through it, and Anonymous,
(07:48):
thank you for trusting burns and eye for looking at
something that's obviously it's obviously a big deal, and these
things could really weigh us down because they just multiple
in our minds by ourselves and really require some trail
running sometimes, you know, like, hey, maybe we should start
(08:09):
with that. As part of this answer to Anonymous is
if you were with us and we were in the
cap of the truck talking, we would say, are what
are you doing to escape the distractions of the world,
and how much time are you spending in the quote
unquote wilderness where you could actually meditate on things from above.
(08:32):
We could start with maybe that that'd be a question,
and then secondly, I do before we do anything else.
I also want to address the issue that when you
become a Christian, that doesn't make you all of a
sudden unqualified for any kind of narcissism or hypocrisy or sin,
(08:57):
or it doesn't make you just free of all those
things because we're still on this earth. So sometimes I
like to think about it in terms of when I
meet a Christian and I know they're a Christian for
whatever reason, where the conversation we've had or I know
that they are, and I think to myself, Wow, I
(09:18):
wonder what this person was like without Jesus, you know,
like if you're if you're a better version of your
old self. Now with Jesus, what are you like? Uh?
It's it's so, you know, in this conversation, you know,
we're going to talk about having grace for the for
this person. Because because excuse me, in the gentle way,
(09:44):
I would say this email sounds pretty narcissistic in its
own right, because really, this whole email is about you
and what you want and what you're trying to get
out of this person.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
It's ironic they didn't mention, have they meant or did
they mention like their approach or their response to this
person at all?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yeah, let me scan this and let me say anonymous
too that when I say that this sounds like kind
of hypocritical, you sound like a narcissist. I'm saying that
in the most loving My name is Granger, and I
feel you I'm right there with you in the same boat.
That's how I'm That's how I mean to say that. Sometimes,
like Bernie says, we have to turn the mirror back
(10:33):
towards ourselves. And when we do that, sometimes we see forgiveness.
Sometimes we see grace. Sometimes we see narcissism and hypocrisy. Right,
you know, when we turn the mirror back on ourselves,
it's very interesting what we see, and that's why it's
important to do it. But let me scan for what
she's been treated poorly. Let me just kind of go
(10:55):
down the facts here. I've been treated poorly. I believe
their actions make them a narcissist. They're always talking about
their life and not mine. Their life is more important.
They talk about all the opportunities that they have, not
considering my work and my opportunities. I thought they were
a friend, but but I've tried so many times and
(11:19):
they they treat me like an underdog. And that's it.
So that's the pattern.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
So here's the thing, Anonymous, And I'll just be like
super vulnerable and honest right now, Like I I empathize
with this very deeply. So and I don't know if
any of the people involved in this listen to this podcast.
But if they do, you all know what happens to
hang out. So yeah, I know this situation very intimately.
(11:53):
I feel like I was in a group that there
was someone similar to this in that group, and there
was a lot of what we felt, my wife and
I kind of manipulation and just kind of toxic behavior.
(12:14):
And then there was one thing that happened and all
of the the narcissism and toxic behavior was really I
wouldn't say it was exposed because he did a really
good job of making everybody else And this person probably
does this too. They make everybody else feel like it's
not them. They're they're good, they're they're probably very charismatic.
(12:37):
They people you know like them or drawn to them.
If they're a narcissist, this is how they were. And
so I know this. So we're in we're in this
like committed you know, covenant with these people of like
pursuing you know, the Bible and biblical community, healthy community
(13:00):
with them. And then there's this riff. There's this person
that we felt like came in and changed that. I
don't tell you this to say like I know exactly
what to do or the fix. What I can tell
you is that God knows, and he may not be
telling you like in this moment, but I can tell
(13:22):
you kind of like now a year, two years, kind
of removed from that situation. It's they're not completely gone.
It's not like we have an answer for you that's
going to change everything. But as we decided to fix
our eyes on Jesus, and the things of this world
(13:43):
become strangely dim. Right, all of this drama of this
person and all of this narcissism, all all of this
stuff just becomes dim in light of Jesus. If our
eyes are fixed on him. It's going to take some time.
If you're in a Bible study, depending on how deep
you are with this person, it will take time. There's
(14:06):
going to be as you set boundaries in place, which
I highly recommend, there's going to be some wounds and
some hurt and some things that surface that have to heal.
But sitting on this side of it, I just know
I am confident God had something planned. He wanted to
(14:28):
take my wife and I somewhere else. And the question
is anonymous, are you willing? What if you're not supposed
to be in this Bible study? Anymore. What if he
is asking you in some way to just give me control,
like surrender this relationship, this Bible study, what you think
that life is going to be. Maybe he's just asking
(14:50):
you to surrender that what we had was awesome. I
mean it was awesome, and the relationship I had with
this person was awesome, and it was broken and it
still hurts, and I still don't know if I did
everything right through that whole circumstance. It's still painful to
think about and talk about. They still live like in
our neighborhood. This is very real stuff. All that I
(15:15):
can tell you is that if you do trust in
Jesus and you look to his word and you just
try each day to have that be your focus. It
will take time, but He, in his faithfulness, will reveal
and affirm his plan for you, and it's a good plan.
You just have to trust in that. I don't know
(15:36):
if that is helpful at all, but if nothing else,
like I do feel you, I think there was a
lot through that situation. Like Granger said, I had to
just look at myself, and a lot that was when
you sent me A Tale of Three Kings and bro
that book was amazing I would have never read that book.
(15:56):
God would have never done in my life those things
in that season if that these things hadn't unfolded the
way they did. So narcissism is real, and it's not
just you know, outside the church. It can be anywhere.
You may need to look at it for yourself, you
(16:17):
may need to set boundaries in place.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
But yeah, there's a lot of things I could probably
say and get into this, but because you've lived it
so personally recently, maybe we should just leave it at that. Yeah,
leave the answer there. Yeah, all right, next question, the
(16:41):
subjecuente says, chapter eight. Hey Grangeer, my name is Heather.
I'm twenty eight years old and a mother of two boys,
five and two. I just saw you and Mary in
Illinois and your show moved me. It's been four and
a half years since I attempted to end my life.
I am glad that I fail. I hold to do
and so I am too. Since then, I've been dealing
(17:03):
with the visions of everything that happened that day. Some
months are easier, but others it feels like I'm reliving
that moment. I've tried counseling, meditation, medication, and nothing has
seemed to work. I'm currently working on getting my family
and I more involved in church since I was never
(17:26):
involved in that way as a kid. Plus watching a
Rise with Amber every week to learn more about God
lower case G. Thinking that if I put some more
positives into my life, then the negatives will finally disappear.
If you have any advice on making past trauma thoughts
go away, let me know. Just finished reading your book
(17:49):
and it was emotional but also inspiring. There's a light
at the end of the tunnel of PTSD ye yee forever, Heather.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Yeah, so your turn. You just lived this, you know,
very intimately recently, so I think you probably have a
better response than I would have.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Did you see me start smiling towards the end. Yeah,
I'm smiling, Heather, because I have everything for you. But
what's so crazy? This is crazy and I never I
never intended for Like a River to be like the
silver bullet that kills the werewolf. And I knew that
(18:34):
going in, even though I tried as hard as I
could intellectually to make that book the silver bullet. But
I realized that only God opens eyes, only God removes
the scales, and sometimes we don't have ears to hear,
our eyes to see, and so Heather, I fully believe,
(18:56):
fully believe that at the at the time that you
wrote this email and the time that you read like
a river, you haven't had eyes to see. But what
you missed in the book was the answer to your question,
and that is your answer on how do I make
the past trauma thoughts go away? How do I relieve
(19:19):
myself in the moment with counseling and medication. How do
I put more positives into my life than negatives and
maybe that'll make them go away? How do I deal
with these visions? All of your questions. You have a
lot of questions in here, and the answer is like this.
(19:40):
We were all born sinners. It is not talked about
much today, but that doesn't change the fact that it
is still true since the beginning of time to now,
since the beginning of humanity, we are born sinners, and
we have rebelled against our creator, a God that made
(20:02):
us and gave us worth through his identity, not ours,
that gave us hope and a life and a plan
and peace, A God that prepared that. We have rebelled
against it. And because that the only thing we deserve
from that is banishment from the kingdom. That's the only
thing we deserve in response to being to rebelling against
(20:25):
a perfectly good God. And so we're doomed. And that's
not the end of the story because of one thing.
Because God, knowing that we're doomed, entered humanity in the
flesh himself to redeem it for himself. So that's the
incarnation of Jesus two thousand years ago. God enters humanity
(20:47):
to redeem it back to himself, to reconcile sinners, which
is all of us, to himself. And he does that
because God is just and we deserve punishment. Because of that,
he cannot just let us go. He can't just say, well,
you failed, but that's okay. I'm going to just bring
you into my kingdom. So, because he's just, and because
(21:10):
if all of his attributes are perfect and undefiled, he
enters humanity to redeem it for himself, to take on
that punishment, that wrath, that payment, that debt that we
owed that we could not do. He enters humanity and
takes it on himself through his death on a cross.
He was then resurrected three days later and said that
(21:31):
anyone who believes in me, who comes after me, who
has faith in me, will be forgiven of what of sin?
What does that mean? That means that when you try
counseling and medication and you have trauma in the past,
and you have guilt, and you have things that have
(21:52):
happened in visions and failure and shame and uncleanliness and
every other adjective that is a product of sin. When
you have all that, he wipes it clean. He completely
takes it away and says, I got you. And so
then God looks upon you and sees perfection because he's
(22:14):
looking at his son, not you, and you're hidden. You're
hidden in the veil, the perfect perfection of Christ. That's
the gospel. Now there is transforming value to that, to
what I just said, that story just said, which I
had in the book. But there is something that happens
to remove the scales I talked about at the beginning,
(22:34):
to open the eyes, to open the ears. There's something
in those words in that message. And even Paul says
in Romans, the Gospel is the power of God for salvation.
There's something in knowing that that knowing you're a sinner,
turning away repenting from your sin and turning to God
and believing in the finished work that He has done
on the cross. Not for everybody, because not everyone will
(22:58):
believe that. If it was for everybody, then there would
not be a hell and there would not be a
punishment for the rebels. But it's for the people that
turn to him and believe in faith. It's funny because
the other day I was on a show and the
guy says God is a god of love, unconditional love
(23:18):
for all people. No, that is dangerous to say that.
It's extremely dangerous to say God is an unconditional lover
of all people. He's not unconditionally loving of all people.
His love involves one major condition that you trust in
his son. You could say John three sixteen. This way,
(23:40):
God so loved the world that he gave his only
son so that whoever believed in him would not perish.
But he did not love the world enough for you
to reject him. That is a major condition. But once
you're once you are in that condition, once you are
in faith, once you do believe, then you will never
(24:02):
ever be let out of his hands. He will always
be faithful to you. In that aspect. All of that
what I just said fixes your entire email, it fixes
all of it. And I could say that because that's
what the Bible says. And I could also say because
I've lived it, and burning has lived it, and I've
been released of shame and guilt. And doesn't mean I
(24:24):
don't sin. In fact, I do, but I hate it
that I do, and I want to fix it, and
I want to get back, not because I'm earning something
with God or trying to earn my way back into
being a good person, but because what He has done
and redeemed me saved me from I don't want to
live that way anymore. So it's an overflow of gratitude
(24:46):
that I now I want to kill my sin. And
this could be you, Heather, and I pray that it is,
and that that gospel I told you faith comes from
hearing that. From hearing it, you now something changes in you,
and you stop trusting in yourself. You stop thinking that
you could add more positives into your life, like some
(25:07):
mystical way that just overturns the negatives and they will
finally disappear because they won't.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Didn't miss anything.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
No, man, that was really good. I think Parker said
something you could probably speak specifically of what he said
a few times ago when he was on It was
about like what are we what are we looking at?
And what are we listening to? So good, so so
for this person Heather's her name, Yeah, yeah, I mean,
(25:40):
if you don't feel that movement of the spirit and
that and that your heart genuinely loves God and everything
that Granger just said, I would one ask yourself what
am I? Where am I spending my time?
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Like?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
What am I watching? What am I listening to? What
am I putting in? And then the second question is
if you're still wrestling with these this level of questions,
then it probably needs to be spending time in His
word and begging. We're talking about an eternal destiny. We're
(26:21):
talking about your your life and salvation and your your
joy now in this life and the life to come.
Begging God, please open my eyes, remove the scales, God, Please,
if you don't be honest where you are, God, please
remove let me see, give me eyes to see. I
(26:41):
would be doing that every single day. And I promise
you if if you're in his word and that is
something that's stirring in you, that that word is just
drawing you in.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Day by day.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Then he's doing something and just keep at it. Just
keep showing up, Heather.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I'd say this to email, Take and read podcasts. Take
and read podcast at gmail dot com, and ask Chad
where's a good church in the area. We'll be able
to help you out. Podcast is brought to you all
by Better Help. If you need somebody to talk to,
like a therapist, and you've been wondering how to go
(27:19):
about even finding one, and you've heard me talk about
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(28:02):
better help h LP dot com slash Granger. A few
weeks ago, we released the EEE Apparel Fall launch and
that stuff is awesome. We have it up right now
at eee dot com. It's some of the best stuff
that we have we have put out so far with
all of our apparel at EEE. We love it and
I'm very very excited about it, and I hope you
get to check it out and hopefully we have some
(28:24):
of your sizes left. And then also, if you have
a copy of Like a River and you've bought it
on Amazon or another website like Barnesannoble dot com or
Walmart dot com, you know what really helps me. I
know a lot of y'all have read the book, that
have listened to this podcast, it really helps me. If
you review it, if you give me five stars and
review it, it actually helps kick up that algorithm and
helps it get in front of other people that might
(28:46):
not normally have seen Like a River. So do that
for me. It costs nothing to you and it actually
really really helps me. Finally, if you want to get
a hold of me, if you want me to send
you a message, I say this a lot cameo dot
com slash Granger. It's a really good way to do it.
Or you can download the cameo app and search for
me Granger Smith. You ask for whatever you want me
(29:07):
to record, and I pull out my phone and do
a video message specifically to you or to your son,
or your boyfriend or girlfriend or daughter or whatever. It
might be a word of encouragement, happy birthday, happy anniversary,
Merry Christmas. I could do it all, and I have
done it all, and it's it's really easy. It's a
great last minute gift and something for someone that has everything.
(29:31):
So cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. Back to the podcast,
all right, Back to the podcast, Back to the next
the next email. Here, you're ready to rock, Let's do it, okay.
The subject line of this one says, called to Ministry.
Hey Granger, have been a fan of your music for
over ten years and enjoy the podcast. Throughout the last
(29:54):
few years, I've had God call me to ministry as well.
Recently finished seminary and I'm getting prepared to marry my girlfriend,
where we intend to bring the message of Jesus to
those who haven't heard in unreached places. I saw that
you recently went to Southeast Asia, and what were your
thoughts on the unreached people there. Coming from someone who
(30:15):
is from the Bible Belt, I know it recently opened
my eyes to the importance of the Great Commission, especially
to those who have never heard. I can't wait to
see how the Lord uses you. Tyler from Mississippi. Yeah,
I I would have the answer that you would think
(30:36):
I would have. It was was very It was very
eye opening. I think I think travel is important for
all of us to get out of a bubble. I
think seeing seeing the a third world country, any third
world country, is a great example of just showing us
(30:59):
just how well we have it here and that that
is not our own doing. And then what a blessing
it is to live in a first world country, something
that none of us had a choice in. There are,
of course, there are probably exceptions of people that made it,
you know, across a border and made it here whatever. Not.
(31:20):
Most of us, most of us were just born here
and that was not in our own doing, and so
that's eye opening in itself. I know you've traveled, you've
seen third world stuff, so yeah, it's it's important to
see it, and.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Yeah, it'll change you more than you think you're going
to change the people.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
There boom, exactly exactly. Sometimes I get ones and I
think this is too long.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Have you been getting a lot about your book? Which
New York bestseller is that?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Right? Well?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yeah, yeah, I'm sitting in a room with like an author,
a New York bestseller list author. Congrats, dude, it's awesome.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Thanks man. Yeah, praise God that.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
You know. It takes a long time for me to
get news like that. It just kind of trickles down
that just eventually Leslie tells.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Me like, oh, hey, no, that just happened recently. Okay,
within days? Oh nice, Yeah, maybe maybe a week less
than a week.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Yeah, oh I heard it on the podcast last week
from Amber.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Right there you go. Yeah. So to answer your question,
these are random and like right now I'm looking at
a couple from June. Okay, you know, so the book,
but this is interesting. I don't know what they's about
to say, but we're about to get We're about to
get into it says what is true all caps? What
(32:54):
is true worship? And what should we avoid when worshiping God? Hey,
Grangeerd liked to remain anonymous. I'll try to keep this
as short as I can. I'm fifteen years old. I
love that. Man, I'll just stop right there. What did
you say, I'm fifteen years old? That's pretty cool. I'm
a male living in Houston, Texas town. For a while,
(33:15):
I've had a strong, strong desire to play an instrument
and possibly be part of a worship team at my church.
Since I love singing and just praising God, I feel
like being on a worship team is something that I'd
love to be a part of and I would greatly enjoy.
I want to play an electric guitar possibly, But one
thing that comes to my mind is how can I
have the right motives? Also, how can I start? How
(33:39):
could I be part of a worship team but not
steal his quote show, but instead just use what I
am to praise God. So I guess what I'm trying
to say is how should I go about this in
the right way and not make it about me? How
do you know that this is something that I should
actually get into? And what are some things that we
(33:59):
need to avoid win worshiping in general? Any advice for
getting into musical instruments? Love your brother and thank you
for what you do. God bless. Yeah, that's cool. That's
a cool email. He leave his name, it's anonymous, honest. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
The fact that he's asking those kind of questions at fifteen.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, that's step point. Step one wrote. Your art's in
the right place. And I know you're not gonna have
a problem with this because you're asking the right questions.
It's the people that don't even think about a question
like that that could possibly get into trouble. And so
what Bernie and I would encourage you to do is,
don't drift from this. This is a great place. And
(34:38):
sometimes let me give you a warning. Actually, let me
give you a really strong warning. I was once fifteen
and really into this kind of stuff, really into God,
doing a lot of like church camps type stuff, and
I drifted. So it's definitely possible. Right now, I'm assuming
(34:58):
you're living at home and you know your life is
pretty focused. And as that as the distractions that come
and life expands and your world gets bigger and bigger
and bigger, and your responsibilities get greater, we have a
tendency to drift away from that. So remember this, and
remember these questions that you're asking at fifteen, and just
how special it is. Were you like that, did you drift?
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Oh for sure?
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty it's pretty common that you would.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Yeah, maybe you can speak a little bit too, because
obviously you you have a platform that a lot of
people kind of look to you your musical talent. I mean,
you've done everything right writer, actor, singer, songwriter, if you
(35:51):
moving forward are trying to and this guy's doing the
same thing. Man, I just want to I want to
glorify God with the gifts he's given and him his
name be praised, not mine. How would you like give
this guy advice on because those things are gonna come
Like the enemy is going to try to like say, hey,
(36:14):
you know, like you could you could use this talent
this way and you make more money and you people
would like you and you could. How would you, you know,
kind of help him kind of stay true to what
he feels like, this is what I want to do.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Yeah, there's are this is all going to end up
in the same place, but there's a lot of ways
to approach it. And one thing I'm seeing here is
he says, for a while, I've had a strong desire
to play an instrument and possibly be part of a
worship team. That means he doesn't play anything right now.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, yeah, So.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
The answer, my answer is going to be a little
bit different than if you were like, Man, I'm a
phenomenal guitar player. I've been playing for seven years and
I've everyone thinks I'm the best guitar player in the school.
How do I use this to glorify God? That's a
different question than Hey, but I just have a desire
to just help out with worship. That's kind of what
you're saying. So, yeah, sure, learn guitar, Learn piano. Twenty
(37:08):
twenty three is a fantastic time to learn the instrument
because of so many resources on YouTube. But where you
want to go is where you want to end up
is what is what is true worship. That's what you're
asking and to participate in that. From the instrument side
(37:28):
of things, what you want to do. The goal is
that you want everyone to worship together. It's a participation
with the assembly, with the gathering. So you want to
help as much as you can to facilitate the participation
of the gathering. That's the goal. Anything beyond that is
(37:51):
becoming a performance, and anything that's that's hindering anyone from
participating themselves. Is that's when it's becoming idolatry for the
instrument or the music or the band of the worship
team themselves. That's really easy to do and it happens
all the time. So you have to kind of recenter yourself.
(38:12):
But just keep remembering the goal. My goal if you
even play guitar, but let's take the instrument out. If
you're just going to be on a worship team, your
goal in a worship team should be to help make
the assembly praise God, sing and worship their creator through
(38:32):
singing through music. Right, And so you want to look
at the room and you want this guy over here
in the wheelchair, and this elderly woman, and these teenagers
in the back, and this young couple with the baby.
You want everyone to be able to equally participate and
sing and giving thanks to their God. And what an
(38:55):
incredible opportunity that is for a worship team. And I
wish they all looked at it that way, like, man,
what an incredible opportunity that I get to stir up
these people so that we could all together sing and
praise God. It is not a worship is you're the
(39:17):
one performing to God. You're not absorbing it from the stage.
So worship should never be I'm sitting in a chair
my arms across, and I'm taking in the band and
hearing what they have to say about our God. Instead,
you are performing to God your thanks. So remember that's
(39:39):
a complicated way to say it. Remember that's the end goal.
However you get to that end goal, there's a million ways. Guitar,
you're the guy that puts the batteries in the microphones.
There's a lot of ways to do it. But just
don't forget the end goal.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Yeah, if you go this path and you step on
a stage, you do need to do that cautiously. I
think that people will have a gift of singing or playing,
and they really think that Sunday Mornings is like Christian karaoke, like, well,
(40:15):
this is my chance to just sing and use my gifts.
But really, what you're what you're doing is you're pastoring people.
And what Granger just said, when you've been in a
service where where there is a worship pastor, you feel
that is what they're doing. They're explicit. The language that
(40:38):
they use is very much hey, it is not here,
it's not me. We are here to glorify God together.
They are leading you in that and they want you
to follow in that. But you'll just as you grow up,
you know, you'll probably sit in a lot of different
(40:58):
worship services, and I think that you'll kind of like sense, man,
this worship pastor really is drawing me into want to
praise Jesus. This one he's really just you know, kind
of singing all these crazy runs and the in the
vocal and looking at the lights, and it just you
(41:18):
don't really you feel more drawn to just watch than participate.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
So true. So I'm looking at some notes that I
have about about this very question. And I know we
always say this podcast we don't even have notes, but
here's actually some notes because I have a lot of
stuff that I've just I have stored up on my
phone about worship itself. But I have a question here.
It says what is worship. Worship is truth based, spiritual focused,
It's focused on God's greatness. And I have I have
(41:48):
some scripture here to back it up. And this seclude
This includes active reverence and words of reverence. And it's
a posture that you have which is so many times
that it's a posture of submission. Or a posture of
raised hands. There's different postures that go along with this.
(42:09):
Why does God want us to sing? There's a lot
of biblical references to that. In fact, God himself sings.
There's references to that having words of scriptural truth, that's
a big deal. Why is it important to have congregational
singing well? Jesus singing groups? And there's lots of biblical
references to this. I'm working fast through all these notes,
(42:33):
but generally, here's good. This is good for you. Generally,
there were groups of skilled singers and musicians leading others
and singing about God's greatness. Second Chronicles twenty nine, twenty
seventh or twenty eight says when the burnt offering began,
the song of the Lord also began with the trumpets
(42:53):
and the instruments of David, King of Israel. So all
the assembly worshiped, the singers saying, and the trumpets sounded.
All this continued until the bird offering was finished. So
we have the instruments and the people and the singers
then stirring up all the assembly to worship. So the
Second Chronicles thirty four to twelve says, all of whom
were skillful with instruments of music. So everything you're saying
(43:18):
it's right and biblical. You just got to remember what
the goal is. And we are servants. We're worshiping God,
and the focus is reverence, and it's it's about God's greatness,
and it's it's avoiding drawing attention to yourself. So everything
(43:38):
that you're saying is right, don't drift from that. Remember
the end goal and worship away. The next line, sorry,
I just flipped. I flipped the email and the next
one up says God and death metal. That's the Hey,
(44:01):
GRADU have been listening to your podcast about two months
now and your words have been really eye opening, though
I actually found out about you through Kentucky Ballistics. Some
background here. My name's Liam, I'm twenty six. I live
in Utah. I was raised in a very Christian household,
going to church since the age of two, and I
found a great church. Since moving here, my taste in
(44:23):
music has gotten heavier and heavier, to the point where
I'm listening to mostly death metal and I'm thinking about
becoming a vocalist for a death metal band. So my
question is this, is it possible to enjoy and create
something as harsh as death metal while still serving God.
And if not, do you have any advice? Thanks? Liam?
What a crazy email to come randomly right after that.
(44:45):
What do you think burns would you got?
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Liam? I think that, hey, redeem it, man. I don't
want to be as closed minded to say that, you know,
God only wants this form and this worship to look
like this. What I was going to tell the last
due that's fifteen piggybacking on the email before that was
(45:09):
travel around the world if you possibly can and see
how other cultures worship God's what their worship service is like,
because it changes, you know, somewhat dramatically and depending on
where you go. But I don't know, I don't want
to say that death metal can't be redeemed or I
(45:29):
don't need Maybe there's people out there that are just
I mean, it's not really my cup of tea.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
But start with changing the name, how about that? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, dude,
there's a lot of look at it this way. There's
a lot of fans of death metal music that are
not going to respond very well yep to nineteen nineties
(45:54):
worship music, you know, like the pop nineteen nineties pop
worship music. So if you're if you want to spread
the gospel then and you have a feeling a calling,
we could use it a calling we have. You have
an aspiration to get into death metal music, and you
could you want to even you want to change the
(46:16):
name of that, and then I think you could reach
a lot of people that are in that community. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Yeah, it's definitely a dark place if you listen to it.
Just the chord structures, the the tones that they use
in that style of music are very dark and heavy.
But Liam, if you're feeling drawn to that place, maybe
it's for a reason, and just take Jesus with you
(46:47):
because it's it's probably going to be a dark place.
And I don't I don't see any reason why God
couldn't redeem. Maybe, like I said, maybe there is some
death metal artists that are using that particular style to
worship Him and we don't even know about it because
we're not into it. True, that's right, LIAMI could already
(47:10):
be happening. Find those people, connect with them, and y'all
do your thing.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Man. Next question subject line says marriage. Hey Granger, my
name is Matt, twenty years old from Iowa and my
girlfriend and I've been dating four and a half years.
I want to ask her to marry me, but I
don't know if now it's the best time. I own
my house and she wants to move in with me
when she's done with college. But I want to do
the right thing in the eyes of the Lord and
get married first. For most of our relationship, we had
(47:34):
a normal teenage relationship, doing what teens shouldn't do. We've
both been recently starting to get in depth with studying
the Bible, both together and separate within the last year.
Both together, oh, okay, and separate together and separate within
the last year. I love her dearly and I want
to spend the rest of my life with her, and
(47:55):
I have a mariage and also have a marriage that
honors God. I just don't know what to do ask her,
but I don't know if we're both spiritually ready. I've
been praying about it, and I just want to get
your two cents on it. Thank you. Yeah, we can
knock this out in a few minutes. Yeah. What was
his name? Matt? Twenty years old from Iowa and been
(48:16):
dating this girl four and a half years.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
And regardless of the past, Matt, I think it's awesome
where you are right now, and that, Yeah, that can
definitely be something that you focus on, like, hey, this
maybe we've you know, dated too long, or we did
this stuff in our dating or whatever. But if this
is where you are now that you're wanting to study
the Bible, you're wanting to glorify guy with your marriage,
(48:38):
that's an awesome place to be great, you know, questions
to be asking and.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
And you're about to say, just ask her. Yeah, yeah, bro, sure,
there is no reason. There's absolutely no reason why you
should drag this out while she's going to move in
with you, while y'all going to find it the right
venue and the right dress, and you could do that
(49:03):
all that by asking her right now.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
Yeah, just asked her right now. Whenever you said I
just don't know if I should ask her and then
you went into I own my house, I have that,
it's almost like you were You're thinking, those were the
prerequisites in order for me to get married, but it's not. Yeah,
it's not the prerequisite for you to ask her to marry.
You is being still and asking God, hey, is this
(49:30):
the woman? And then walking in that relationship, in that
relationship and you see healthy signs and then you just.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
You just know she Lord? Do you love the Lord?
Does she love the Lord? That's it. That's two questions.
She loved the Lord? You love the Lord? Are you
spiritually ready? What does that even mean? Am I spiritually
ready to be married? Probably not? I don't think so. Like, yeah,
I don't think you'll You'll never be spiritually ready, You'll
(49:58):
never be financially ready. And these same questions are going
to come back up when you're looking to have a baby.
You're gonna you're gonna come back to this podcast and
you go, hey, we've been married three years. We don't
know if we're ready to have a baby. How do
we know if we're ready to have a baby. So
then you're gonna keep asking those same kind of questions,
and so don't over spiritualize it. Does she love the Lord?
You love the Lord? You got a house paid for, bro?
(50:22):
Do it. The thing to not do is either do
it or break up with it. Really those are your
two options, because the thing to not do is drag
it out. She moves in, you know, just get comfortable,
get you know, you start getting comfortable in life without
that marriage, then what it's it? Values the marriage less
and less and so either do it or you don't.
(50:44):
But those are your only two options and your time
frame is now do it now. Yeah, that's it. It's
the end of the podcast. It's funny. I actually thought
the podcast was over before this last break, but then
we were very excited to have one more.
Speaker 1 (51:03):
Bring Now it's the real deal though. Hey man, this
is a treat for me to sit and talk with
you and hear all y'all's questions out there. So thanks
for having me back.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
I appreciate you, bro, love all y'all. See you next Monday.
Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I
appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me out
by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and
notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
a video. If you have a question for me that
(51:33):
you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at
gmail dot com. Yih
Yeah, it'll change you more than you think you're going
to change the people.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
There, boom, exactly what's up everybody? Welcome back to the podcast,
Episode two and seven. Got my boy Bernie with me today. Hey.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Can I just say I love the new vibe of
the podcast, new setup.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Like it.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
I feel like I talk a lot quieter and slower though.
It's just like super chill. I got a comfy chair.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Yeah, if anyone's watching right now, it might it looks light.
See if you look at the screen right there, it
looks light. Yeah, but it's actually pretty dark in the room. Yeah,
but it's good because we answer your questions. We walked
through whatever you got going on. Could be about any subject.
Email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. That's what we do,
(00:57):
especially if you want to talk about trail running. That's
like Bernie's main thing right now in life.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, trail runs.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
How when's the last time you did a trail run?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
A couple days ago?
Speaker 2 (01:09):
How long? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (01:09):
I did some hills on the road this morning, but
a couple of days ago. During the week I'm usually
just hitting I don't know, four or five miles, and
then on the weekends I'll do like a long trail
run get lost in the woods. Okay, highly recommend it
to anybody out there.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
No music, no podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
No music, no nothing. Yeah, you gotta take water. But
oh man, last week, guys, I'm just I'm I'm not
like super churchy. I don't use a lot of language.
It's like, I don't like to over spiritualize things. But
if you want to hear the voice of God, you
(01:49):
have to put yourself in the places that he speaks.
And one of those places for me is nature and
just by myself for an unhurried extended amount of time.
And so that was the draw to trail run in
the first place. But last week, man, it was like
he was walking right next to me. I was like, well, yeah, this,
(02:10):
It's like, oh yeah, that makes sense. And what about this?
Oh man, it's just great.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
So you keep a journal or anything from that.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Oh for sure.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Trail run thoughts by Bernie.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I don't have specific like trail run journal, but I
have like a journal of Hey, this run, here's you
know what I was thinking about, Here's what I felt
like God was, you know, speaking to me this specific
trail run. I was really honed in on and praying
(02:43):
through like the vision for the companies that we own,
kind of casting this vision for the next seven years,
which is a long time. But I feel like we're
in a very much a transition, or not a transition,
but the ending of one. I mean, very similar to
you man, Like I feel like our lives through parallel
a lot of ways, but there's like this new chapter
(03:04):
that's starting, and so like, as that's beginning, I want
to make sure for my team that I am like
casting a vision for them of like, hey, here's here
are the goals, here the the values, here's the aim
that we have. And I want to make sure that
if I'm giving that to people, that it's coming from
from him. So that run was very specific to all right, God,
(03:27):
we're going to go talk about this, and I pray
for revelation of some kind.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
And it's just it's it's undistracted time, is what you're
getting at. It's not necessarily running, not necessarily in the
woods or on a trail. You could you could have
it anywhere in any city. It's just the undistractedness that's right,
(03:52):
that you're looking for.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
I mean, saman like he meditates on it day and night,
meditate like that word means to ponder. So these things
that we're hearing from God's were the things that are
in front of us in life, like just to like
have it could look a hundred different ways, but are
we taking the time just to like ponder, like not
(04:13):
just think about it and then go on to the
next thing and like our you know, our minds tend
to do. But like, man, I'm just gonna like stay here,
I'm gonna think about that. I'm to think about that
that verse and what that means, and I'm just gonna
like really ponder and meditate on that kill good till
it hurts.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
I'm excited for someone to comment on the podcast or
tell me in some form or maybe email Grangersmith Podcast
at gmail dot com and say, man, I started trail
running like Bernie and it's working for me. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
If anybody ever wants to go trail running and they're
in Austin, I don't know how you hit me up,
Like I'm not on social media, but you'll find me somehow.
Trail runners always find each other.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Okay, good find me.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Let's do it and maybe we'll get granger out there
one day.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Maybe quickly change the subject to the subject line of
the next question here podcast question Christians who act like Narcissists?
Is what's going to kick off the podcast today? It says,
Hey Grangeer, I'd like to stay anonymous. There's a person
in my life who claims to be a Christian parentheses.
We are in the same Bible study close parentheses, but
(05:20):
has treated me poorly for years. I believe their actions
would categorize them as a narcissist. They're always bringing up
their own life problems as if they trump anyone else's
never asking how others are. They talk about all the
opportunities they deserve above other people and how hard they work,
(05:40):
not considering the work others have put in the same
for the same opportunities. I thought we were friends for
a time, but I've had I've seen numerous attempts that
they have made to make sure I was the underdog,
and they always succeeded over me in life events, only
asking about my life if it would benefit them by
(06:01):
knowing it. My question is this, if I have this
person in my life and cannot separate myself from their presence,
how do I feel? How do I deal excuse me
with a narcissistic behavior? And should I say something to them,
especially as they claim to be Christian. I also ask
this as I bet I will encounter more people like
(06:23):
this in the future, I will truly value your cab
in the truck. Honest answer.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Anonymous, Anonymous, Okay, well the question changes my answer because
it was leading somewhere, but then they said, ok, I
cannot remove myself from their presence. Okay, So my question
to Anonymous would be like, well, why not. But let's
(06:55):
just say for some reason, their kids go to school together,
they're going to see them all the time, or you
know whatever. I think that they could still like have boundaries.
It sounds like there's just boundaries. I don't know if rebuke,
I don't know if they're in community close enough to
where it's like we need to keep each other accountable
and you know, talk through there's not that kind of relationship.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
It doesn't seem Yeah, yeah, that's what it sounds like.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
It seems more like this is Christian or not. There
needs to be boundaries put in place.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah. The only thing we really have here to go
by is that they're in the same Bible study. Oh look,
sometimes sometimes in today's world that doesn't even mean the
same church. Sometimes that just means there's a there's a
community Bible study and I see them. That used to
always mean we're in church together, right, But that doesn't
necessarily mean that. So yeah, let's walk through it, and Anonymous,
(07:48):
thank you for trusting burns and eye for looking at
something that's obviously it's obviously a big deal, and these
things could really weigh us down because they just multiple
in our minds by ourselves and really require some trail
running sometimes, you know, like, hey, maybe we should start
(08:09):
with that. As part of this answer to Anonymous is
if you were with us and we were in the
cap of the truck talking, we would say, are what
are you doing to escape the distractions of the world,
and how much time are you spending in the quote
unquote wilderness where you could actually meditate on things from above.
(08:32):
We could start with maybe that that'd be a question,
and then secondly, I do before we do anything else.
I also want to address the issue that when you
become a Christian, that doesn't make you all of a
sudden unqualified for any kind of narcissism or hypocrisy or sin,
(08:57):
or it doesn't make you just free of all those
things because we're still on this earth. So sometimes I
like to think about it in terms of when I
meet a Christian and I know they're a Christian for
whatever reason, where the conversation we've had or I know
that they are, and I think to myself, Wow, I
(09:18):
wonder what this person was like without Jesus, you know,
like if you're if you're a better version of your
old self. Now with Jesus, what are you like? Uh?
It's it's so, you know, in this conversation, you know,
we're going to talk about having grace for the for
this person. Because because excuse me, in the gentle way,
(09:44):
I would say this email sounds pretty narcissistic in its
own right, because really, this whole email is about you
and what you want and what you're trying to get
out of this person.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
It's ironic they didn't mention, have they meant or did
they mention like their approach or their response to this
person at all?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yeah, let me scan this and let me say anonymous
too that when I say that this sounds like kind
of hypocritical, you sound like a narcissist. I'm saying that
in the most loving My name is Granger, and I
feel you I'm right there with you in the same boat.
That's how I'm That's how I mean to say that. Sometimes,
like Bernie says, we have to turn the mirror back
(10:33):
towards ourselves. And when we do that, sometimes we see forgiveness.
Sometimes we see grace. Sometimes we see narcissism and hypocrisy. Right,
you know, when we turn the mirror back on ourselves,
it's very interesting what we see, and that's why it's
important to do it. But let me scan for what
she's been treated poorly. Let me just kind of go
(10:55):
down the facts here. I've been treated poorly. I believe
their actions make them a narcissist. They're always talking about
their life and not mine. Their life is more important.
They talk about all the opportunities that they have, not
considering my work and my opportunities. I thought they were
a friend, but but I've tried so many times and
(11:19):
they they treat me like an underdog. And that's it.
So that's the pattern.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
So here's the thing, Anonymous, And I'll just be like
super vulnerable and honest right now, Like I I empathize
with this very deeply. So and I don't know if
any of the people involved in this listen to this podcast.
But if they do, you all know what happens to
hang out. So yeah, I know this situation very intimately.
(11:53):
I feel like I was in a group that there
was someone similar to this in that group, and there
was a lot of what we felt, my wife and
I kind of manipulation and just kind of toxic behavior.
(12:14):
And then there was one thing that happened and all
of the the narcissism and toxic behavior was really I
wouldn't say it was exposed because he did a really
good job of making everybody else And this person probably
does this too. They make everybody else feel like it's
not them. They're they're good, they're they're probably very charismatic.
(12:37):
They people you know like them or drawn to them.
If they're a narcissist, this is how they were. And
so I know this. So we're in we're in this
like committed you know, covenant with these people of like
pursuing you know, the Bible and biblical community, healthy community
(13:00):
with them. And then there's this riff. There's this person
that we felt like came in and changed that. I
don't tell you this to say like I know exactly
what to do or the fix. What I can tell
you is that God knows, and he may not be
telling you like in this moment, but I can tell
(13:22):
you kind of like now a year, two years, kind
of removed from that situation. It's they're not completely gone.
It's not like we have an answer for you that's
going to change everything. But as we decided to fix
our eyes on Jesus, and the things of this world
(13:43):
become strangely dim. Right, all of this drama of this
person and all of this narcissism, all all of this
stuff just becomes dim in light of Jesus. If our
eyes are fixed on him. It's going to take some time.
If you're in a Bible study, depending on how deep
you are with this person, it will take time. There's
(14:06):
going to be as you set boundaries in place, which
I highly recommend, there's going to be some wounds and
some hurt and some things that surface that have to heal.
But sitting on this side of it, I just know
I am confident God had something planned. He wanted to
(14:28):
take my wife and I somewhere else. And the question
is anonymous, are you willing? What if you're not supposed
to be in this Bible study? Anymore. What if he
is asking you in some way to just give me control,
like surrender this relationship, this Bible study, what you think
that life is going to be. Maybe he's just asking
(14:50):
you to surrender that what we had was awesome. I
mean it was awesome, and the relationship I had with
this person was awesome, and it was broken and it
still hurts, and I still don't know if I did
everything right through that whole circumstance. It's still painful to
think about and talk about. They still live like in
our neighborhood. This is very real stuff. All that I
(15:15):
can tell you is that if you do trust in
Jesus and you look to his word and you just
try each day to have that be your focus. It
will take time, but He, in his faithfulness, will reveal
and affirm his plan for you, and it's a good plan.
You just have to trust in that. I don't know
(15:36):
if that is helpful at all, but if nothing else,
like I do feel you, I think there was a
lot through that situation. Like Granger said, I had to
just look at myself, and a lot that was when
you sent me A Tale of Three Kings and bro
that book was amazing I would have never read that book.
(15:56):
God would have never done in my life those things
in that season if that these things hadn't unfolded the
way they did. So narcissism is real, and it's not
just you know, outside the church. It can be anywhere.
You may need to look at it for yourself, you
(16:17):
may need to set boundaries in place.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
But yeah, there's a lot of things I could probably
say and get into this, but because you've lived it
so personally recently, maybe we should just leave it at that. Yeah,
leave the answer there. Yeah, all right, next question, the
(16:41):
subjecuente says, chapter eight. Hey Grangeer, my name is Heather.
I'm twenty eight years old and a mother of two boys,
five and two. I just saw you and Mary in
Illinois and your show moved me. It's been four and
a half years since I attempted to end my life.
I am glad that I fail. I hold to do
and so I am too. Since then, I've been dealing
(17:03):
with the visions of everything that happened that day. Some
months are easier, but others it feels like I'm reliving
that moment. I've tried counseling, meditation, medication, and nothing has
seemed to work. I'm currently working on getting my family
and I more involved in church since I was never
(17:26):
involved in that way as a kid. Plus watching a
Rise with Amber every week to learn more about God
lower case G. Thinking that if I put some more
positives into my life, then the negatives will finally disappear.
If you have any advice on making past trauma thoughts
go away, let me know. Just finished reading your book
(17:49):
and it was emotional but also inspiring. There's a light
at the end of the tunnel of PTSD ye yee forever, Heather.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Yeah, so your turn. You just lived this, you know,
very intimately recently, so I think you probably have a
better response than I would have.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Did you see me start smiling towards the end. Yeah,
I'm smiling, Heather, because I have everything for you. But
what's so crazy? This is crazy and I never I
never intended for Like a River to be like the
silver bullet that kills the werewolf. And I knew that
(18:34):
going in, even though I tried as hard as I
could intellectually to make that book the silver bullet. But
I realized that only God opens eyes, only God removes
the scales, and sometimes we don't have ears to hear,
our eyes to see, and so Heather, I fully believe,
(18:56):
fully believe that at the at the time that you
wrote this email and the time that you read like
a river, you haven't had eyes to see. But what
you missed in the book was the answer to your question,
and that is your answer on how do I make
the past trauma thoughts go away? How do I relieve
(19:19):
myself in the moment with counseling and medication. How do
I put more positives into my life than negatives and
maybe that'll make them go away? How do I deal
with these visions? All of your questions. You have a
lot of questions in here, and the answer is like this.
(19:40):
We were all born sinners. It is not talked about
much today, but that doesn't change the fact that it
is still true since the beginning of time to now,
since the beginning of humanity, we are born sinners, and
we have rebelled against our creator, a God that made
(20:02):
us and gave us worth through his identity, not ours,
that gave us hope and a life and a plan
and peace, A God that prepared that. We have rebelled
against it. And because that the only thing we deserve
from that is banishment from the kingdom. That's the only
thing we deserve in response to being to rebelling against
(20:25):
a perfectly good God. And so we're doomed. And that's
not the end of the story because of one thing.
Because God, knowing that we're doomed, entered humanity in the
flesh himself to redeem it for himself. So that's the
incarnation of Jesus two thousand years ago. God enters humanity
(20:47):
to redeem it back to himself, to reconcile sinners, which
is all of us, to himself. And he does that
because God is just and we deserve punishment. Because of that,
he cannot just let us go. He can't just say, well,
you failed, but that's okay. I'm going to just bring
you into my kingdom. So, because he's just, and because
(21:10):
if all of his attributes are perfect and undefiled, he
enters humanity to redeem it for himself, to take on
that punishment, that wrath, that payment, that debt that we
owed that we could not do. He enters humanity and
takes it on himself through his death on a cross.
He was then resurrected three days later and said that
(21:31):
anyone who believes in me, who comes after me, who
has faith in me, will be forgiven of what of sin?
What does that mean? That means that when you try
counseling and medication and you have trauma in the past,
and you have guilt, and you have things that have
(21:52):
happened in visions and failure and shame and uncleanliness and
every other adjective that is a product of sin. When
you have all that, he wipes it clean. He completely
takes it away and says, I got you. And so
then God looks upon you and sees perfection because he's
(22:14):
looking at his son, not you, and you're hidden. You're
hidden in the veil, the perfect perfection of Christ. That's
the gospel. Now there is transforming value to that, to
what I just said, that story just said, which I
had in the book. But there is something that happens
to remove the scales I talked about at the beginning,
(22:34):
to open the eyes, to open the ears. There's something
in those words in that message. And even Paul says
in Romans, the Gospel is the power of God for salvation.
There's something in knowing that that knowing you're a sinner,
turning away repenting from your sin and turning to God
and believing in the finished work that He has done
on the cross. Not for everybody, because not everyone will
(22:58):
believe that. If it was for everybody, then there would
not be a hell and there would not be a
punishment for the rebels. But it's for the people that
turn to him and believe in faith. It's funny because
the other day I was on a show and the
guy says God is a god of love, unconditional love
(23:18):
for all people. No, that is dangerous to say that.
It's extremely dangerous to say God is an unconditional lover
of all people. He's not unconditionally loving of all people.
His love involves one major condition that you trust in
his son. You could say John three sixteen. This way,
(23:40):
God so loved the world that he gave his only
son so that whoever believed in him would not perish.
But he did not love the world enough for you
to reject him. That is a major condition. But once
you're once you are in that condition, once you are
in faith, once you do believe, then you will never
(24:02):
ever be let out of his hands. He will always
be faithful to you. In that aspect. All of that
what I just said fixes your entire email, it fixes
all of it. And I could say that because that's
what the Bible says. And I could also say because
I've lived it, and burning has lived it, and I've
been released of shame and guilt. And doesn't mean I
(24:24):
don't sin. In fact, I do, but I hate it
that I do, and I want to fix it, and
I want to get back, not because I'm earning something
with God or trying to earn my way back into
being a good person, but because what He has done
and redeemed me saved me from I don't want to
live that way anymore. So it's an overflow of gratitude
(24:46):
that I now I want to kill my sin. And
this could be you, Heather, and I pray that it is,
and that that gospel I told you faith comes from
hearing that. From hearing it, you now something changes in you,
and you stop trusting in yourself. You stop thinking that
you could add more positives into your life, like some
(25:07):
mystical way that just overturns the negatives and they will
finally disappear because they won't.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Didn't miss anything.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
No, man, that was really good. I think Parker said
something you could probably speak specifically of what he said
a few times ago when he was on It was
about like what are we what are we looking at?
And what are we listening to? So good, so so
for this person Heather's her name, Yeah, yeah, I mean,
(25:40):
if you don't feel that movement of the spirit and
that and that your heart genuinely loves God and everything
that Granger just said, I would one ask yourself what
am I? Where am I spending my time?
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Like?
Speaker 1 (26:00):
What am I watching? What am I listening to? What
am I putting in? And then the second question is
if you're still wrestling with these this level of questions,
then it probably needs to be spending time in His
word and begging. We're talking about an eternal destiny. We're
(26:21):
talking about your your life and salvation and your your
joy now in this life and the life to come.
Begging God, please open my eyes, remove the scales, God, Please,
if you don't be honest where you are, God, please
remove let me see, give me eyes to see. I
(26:41):
would be doing that every single day. And I promise
you if if you're in his word and that is
something that's stirring in you, that that word is just
drawing you in.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Day by day.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Then he's doing something and just keep at it. Just
keep showing up, Heather.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I'd say this to email, Take and read podcasts. Take
and read podcast at gmail dot com, and ask Chad
where's a good church in the area. We'll be able
to help you out. Podcast is brought to you all
by Better Help. If you need somebody to talk to,
like a therapist, and you've been wondering how to go
(27:19):
about even finding one, and you've heard me talk about
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(28:02):
better help h LP dot com slash Granger. A few
weeks ago, we released the EEE Apparel Fall launch and
that stuff is awesome. We have it up right now
at eee dot com. It's some of the best stuff
that we have we have put out so far with
all of our apparel at EEE. We love it and
I'm very very excited about it, and I hope you
get to check it out and hopefully we have some
(28:24):
of your sizes left. And then also, if you have
a copy of Like a River and you've bought it
on Amazon or another website like Barnesannoble dot com or
Walmart dot com, you know what really helps me. I
know a lot of y'all have read the book, that
have listened to this podcast, it really helps me. If
you review it, if you give me five stars and
review it, it actually helps kick up that algorithm and
helps it get in front of other people that might
(28:46):
not normally have seen Like a River. So do that
for me. It costs nothing to you and it actually
really really helps me. Finally, if you want to get
a hold of me, if you want me to send
you a message, I say this a lot cameo dot
com slash Granger. It's a really good way to do it.
Or you can download the cameo app and search for
me Granger Smith. You ask for whatever you want me
(29:07):
to record, and I pull out my phone and do
a video message specifically to you or to your son,
or your boyfriend or girlfriend or daughter or whatever. It
might be a word of encouragement, happy birthday, happy anniversary,
Merry Christmas. I could do it all, and I have
done it all, and it's it's really easy. It's a
great last minute gift and something for someone that has everything.
(29:31):
So cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. Back to the podcast,
all right, Back to the podcast, Back to the next
the next email. Here, you're ready to rock, Let's do it, okay.
The subject line of this one says, called to Ministry.
Hey Granger, have been a fan of your music for
over ten years and enjoy the podcast. Throughout the last
(29:54):
few years, I've had God call me to ministry as well.
Recently finished seminary and I'm getting prepared to marry my girlfriend,
where we intend to bring the message of Jesus to
those who haven't heard in unreached places. I saw that
you recently went to Southeast Asia, and what were your
thoughts on the unreached people there. Coming from someone who
(30:15):
is from the Bible Belt, I know it recently opened
my eyes to the importance of the Great Commission, especially
to those who have never heard. I can't wait to
see how the Lord uses you. Tyler from Mississippi. Yeah,
I I would have the answer that you would think
(30:36):
I would have. It was was very It was very
eye opening. I think I think travel is important for
all of us to get out of a bubble. I
think seeing seeing the a third world country, any third
world country, is a great example of just showing us
(30:59):
just how well we have it here and that that
is not our own doing. And then what a blessing
it is to live in a first world country, something
that none of us had a choice in. There are,
of course, there are probably exceptions of people that made it,
you know, across a border and made it here whatever. Not.
(31:20):
Most of us, most of us were just born here
and that was not in our own doing, and so
that's eye opening in itself. I know you've traveled, you've
seen third world stuff, so yeah, it's it's important to
see it, and.
Speaker 1 (31:36):
Yeah, it'll change you more than you think you're going
to change the people.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
There boom, exactly exactly. Sometimes I get ones and I
think this is too long.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Have you been getting a lot about your book? Which
New York bestseller is that?
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Right? Well?
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yeah, yeah, I'm sitting in a room with like an author,
a New York bestseller list author. Congrats, dude, it's awesome.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Thanks man. Yeah, praise God that.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
You know. It takes a long time for me to
get news like that. It just kind of trickles down
that just eventually Leslie tells.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Me like, oh, hey, no, that just happened recently. Okay,
within days? Oh nice, Yeah, maybe maybe a week less
than a week.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Yeah, oh I heard it on the podcast last week
from Amber.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Right there you go. Yeah. So to answer your question,
these are random and like right now I'm looking at
a couple from June. Okay, you know, so the book,
but this is interesting. I don't know what they's about
to say, but we're about to get We're about to
get into it says what is true all caps? What
(32:54):
is true worship? And what should we avoid when worshiping God? Hey,
Grangeerd liked to remain anonymous. I'll try to keep this
as short as I can. I'm fifteen years old. I
love that. Man, I'll just stop right there. What did
you say, I'm fifteen years old? That's pretty cool. I'm
a male living in Houston, Texas town. For a while,
(33:15):
I've had a strong, strong desire to play an instrument
and possibly be part of a worship team at my church.
Since I love singing and just praising God, I feel
like being on a worship team is something that I'd
love to be a part of and I would greatly enjoy.
I want to play an electric guitar possibly, But one
thing that comes to my mind is how can I
have the right motives? Also, how can I start? How
(33:39):
could I be part of a worship team but not
steal his quote show, but instead just use what I
am to praise God. So I guess what I'm trying
to say is how should I go about this in
the right way and not make it about me? How
do you know that this is something that I should
actually get into? And what are some things that we
(33:59):
need to avoid win worshiping in general? Any advice for
getting into musical instruments? Love your brother and thank you
for what you do. God bless. Yeah, that's cool. That's
a cool email. He leave his name, it's anonymous, honest. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
The fact that he's asking those kind of questions at fifteen.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Yeah, that's step point. Step one wrote. Your art's in
the right place. And I know you're not gonna have
a problem with this because you're asking the right questions.
It's the people that don't even think about a question
like that that could possibly get into trouble. And so
what Bernie and I would encourage you to do is,
don't drift from this. This is a great place. And
(34:38):
sometimes let me give you a warning. Actually, let me
give you a really strong warning. I was once fifteen
and really into this kind of stuff, really into God,
doing a lot of like church camps type stuff, and
I drifted. So it's definitely possible. Right now, I'm assuming
(34:58):
you're living at home and you know your life is
pretty focused. And as that as the distractions that come
and life expands and your world gets bigger and bigger
and bigger, and your responsibilities get greater, we have a
tendency to drift away from that. So remember this, and
remember these questions that you're asking at fifteen, and just
how special it is. Were you like that, did you drift?
Speaker 1 (35:24):
Oh for sure?
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty it's pretty common that you would.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Yeah, maybe you can speak a little bit too, because
obviously you you have a platform that a lot of
people kind of look to you your musical talent. I mean,
you've done everything right writer, actor, singer, songwriter, if you
(35:51):
moving forward are trying to and this guy's doing the
same thing. Man, I just want to I want to
glorify God with the gifts he's given and him his
name be praised, not mine. How would you like give
this guy advice on because those things are gonna come
Like the enemy is going to try to like say, hey,
(36:14):
you know, like you could you could use this talent
this way and you make more money and you people
would like you and you could. How would you, you know,
kind of help him kind of stay true to what
he feels like, this is what I want to do.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Yeah, there's are this is all going to end up
in the same place, but there's a lot of ways
to approach it. And one thing I'm seeing here is
he says, for a while, I've had a strong desire
to play an instrument and possibly be part of a
worship team. That means he doesn't play anything right now.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, yeah, So.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
The answer, my answer is going to be a little
bit different than if you were like, Man, I'm a
phenomenal guitar player. I've been playing for seven years and
I've everyone thinks I'm the best guitar player in the school.
How do I use this to glorify God? That's a
different question than Hey, but I just have a desire
to just help out with worship. That's kind of what
you're saying. So, yeah, sure, learn guitar, Learn piano. Twenty
(37:08):
twenty three is a fantastic time to learn the instrument
because of so many resources on YouTube. But where you
want to go is where you want to end up
is what is what is true worship. That's what you're
asking and to participate in that. From the instrument side
(37:28):
of things, what you want to do. The goal is
that you want everyone to worship together. It's a participation
with the assembly, with the gathering. So you want to
help as much as you can to facilitate the participation
of the gathering. That's the goal. Anything beyond that is
(37:51):
becoming a performance, and anything that's that's hindering anyone from
participating themselves. Is that's when it's becoming idolatry for the
instrument or the music or the band of the worship
team themselves. That's really easy to do and it happens
all the time. So you have to kind of recenter yourself.
(38:12):
But just keep remembering the goal. My goal if you
even play guitar, but let's take the instrument out. If
you're just going to be on a worship team, your
goal in a worship team should be to help make
the assembly praise God, sing and worship their creator through
(38:32):
singing through music. Right, And so you want to look
at the room and you want this guy over here
in the wheelchair, and this elderly woman, and these teenagers
in the back, and this young couple with the baby.
You want everyone to be able to equally participate and
sing and giving thanks to their God. And what an
(38:55):
incredible opportunity that is for a worship team. And I
wish they all looked at it that way, like, man,
what an incredible opportunity that I get to stir up
these people so that we could all together sing and
praise God. It is not a worship is you're the
(39:17):
one performing to God. You're not absorbing it from the stage.
So worship should never be I'm sitting in a chair
my arms across, and I'm taking in the band and
hearing what they have to say about our God. Instead,
you are performing to God your thanks. So remember that's
(39:39):
a complicated way to say it. Remember that's the end goal.
However you get to that end goal, there's a million ways. Guitar,
you're the guy that puts the batteries in the microphones.
There's a lot of ways to do it. But just
don't forget the end goal.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Yeah, if you go this path and you step on
a stage, you do need to do that cautiously. I
think that people will have a gift of singing or playing,
and they really think that Sunday Mornings is like Christian karaoke, like, well,
(40:15):
this is my chance to just sing and use my gifts.
But really, what you're what you're doing is you're pastoring people.
And what Granger just said, when you've been in a
service where where there is a worship pastor, you feel
that is what they're doing. They're explicit. The language that
(40:38):
they use is very much hey, it is not here,
it's not me. We are here to glorify God together.
They are leading you in that and they want you
to follow in that. But you'll just as you grow up,
you know, you'll probably sit in a lot of different
(40:58):
worship services, and I think that you'll kind of like sense, man,
this worship pastor really is drawing me into want to
praise Jesus. This one he's really just you know, kind
of singing all these crazy runs and the in the
vocal and looking at the lights, and it just you
(41:18):
don't really you feel more drawn to just watch than participate.
Speaker 2 (41:23):
So true. So I'm looking at some notes that I
have about about this very question. And I know we
always say this podcast we don't even have notes, but
here's actually some notes because I have a lot of
stuff that I've just I have stored up on my
phone about worship itself. But I have a question here.
It says what is worship. Worship is truth based, spiritual focused,
It's focused on God's greatness. And I have I have
(41:48):
some scripture here to back it up. And this seclude
This includes active reverence and words of reverence. And it's
a posture that you have which is so many times
that it's a posture of submission. Or a posture of
raised hands. There's different postures that go along with this.
(42:09):
Why does God want us to sing? There's a lot
of biblical references to that. In fact, God himself sings.
There's references to that having words of scriptural truth, that's
a big deal. Why is it important to have congregational
singing well? Jesus singing groups? And there's lots of biblical
references to this. I'm working fast through all these notes,
(42:33):
but generally, here's good. This is good for you. Generally,
there were groups of skilled singers and musicians leading others
and singing about God's greatness. Second Chronicles twenty nine, twenty
seventh or twenty eight says when the burnt offering began,
the song of the Lord also began with the trumpets
(42:53):
and the instruments of David, King of Israel. So all
the assembly worshiped, the singers saying, and the trumpets sounded.
All this continued until the bird offering was finished. So
we have the instruments and the people and the singers
then stirring up all the assembly to worship. So the
Second Chronicles thirty four to twelve says, all of whom
were skillful with instruments of music. So everything you're saying
(43:18):
it's right and biblical. You just got to remember what
the goal is. And we are servants. We're worshiping God,
and the focus is reverence, and it's it's about God's greatness,
and it's it's avoiding drawing attention to yourself. So everything
(43:38):
that you're saying is right, don't drift from that. Remember
the end goal and worship away. The next line, sorry,
I just flipped. I flipped the email and the next
one up says God and death metal. That's the Hey,
(44:01):
GRADU have been listening to your podcast about two months
now and your words have been really eye opening, though
I actually found out about you through Kentucky Ballistics. Some
background here. My name's Liam, I'm twenty six. I live
in Utah. I was raised in a very Christian household,
going to church since the age of two, and I
found a great church. Since moving here, my taste in
(44:23):
music has gotten heavier and heavier, to the point where
I'm listening to mostly death metal and I'm thinking about
becoming a vocalist for a death metal band. So my
question is this, is it possible to enjoy and create
something as harsh as death metal while still serving God.
And if not, do you have any advice? Thanks? Liam?
What a crazy email to come randomly right after that.
(44:45):
What do you think burns would you got?
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Liam? I think that, hey, redeem it, man. I don't
want to be as closed minded to say that, you know,
God only wants this form and this worship to look
like this. What I was going to tell the last
due that's fifteen piggybacking on the email before that was
(45:09):
travel around the world if you possibly can and see
how other cultures worship God's what their worship service is like,
because it changes, you know, somewhat dramatically and depending on
where you go. But I don't know, I don't want
to say that death metal can't be redeemed or I
(45:29):
don't need Maybe there's people out there that are just
I mean, it's not really my cup of tea.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
But start with changing the name, how about that? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, dude,
there's a lot of look at it this way. There's
a lot of fans of death metal music that are
not going to respond very well yep to nineteen nineties
(45:54):
worship music, you know, like the pop nineteen nineties pop
worship music. So if you're if you want to spread
the gospel then and you have a feeling a calling,
we could use it a calling we have. You have
an aspiration to get into death metal music, and you
could you want to even you want to change the
(46:16):
name of that, and then I think you could reach
a lot of people that are in that community. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Yeah, it's definitely a dark place if you listen to it.
Just the chord structures, the the tones that they use
in that style of music are very dark and heavy.
But Liam, if you're feeling drawn to that place, maybe
it's for a reason, and just take Jesus with you
(46:47):
because it's it's probably going to be a dark place.
And I don't I don't see any reason why God
couldn't redeem. Maybe, like I said, maybe there is some
death metal artists that are using that particular style to
worship Him and we don't even know about it because
we're not into it. True, that's right, LIAMI could already
(47:10):
be happening. Find those people, connect with them, and y'all
do your thing.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Man. Next question subject line says marriage. Hey Granger, my
name is Matt, twenty years old from Iowa and my
girlfriend and I've been dating four and a half years.
I want to ask her to marry me, but I
don't know if now it's the best time. I own
my house and she wants to move in with me
when she's done with college. But I want to do
the right thing in the eyes of the Lord and
get married first. For most of our relationship, we had
(47:34):
a normal teenage relationship, doing what teens shouldn't do. We've
both been recently starting to get in depth with studying
the Bible, both together and separate within the last year.
Both together, oh, okay, and separate together and separate within
the last year. I love her dearly and I want
to spend the rest of my life with her, and
(47:55):
I have a mariage and also have a marriage that
honors God. I just don't know what to do ask her,
but I don't know if we're both spiritually ready. I've
been praying about it, and I just want to get
your two cents on it. Thank you. Yeah, we can
knock this out in a few minutes. Yeah. What was
his name? Matt? Twenty years old from Iowa and been
(48:16):
dating this girl four and a half years.
Speaker 1 (48:18):
And regardless of the past, Matt, I think it's awesome
where you are right now, and that, Yeah, that can
definitely be something that you focus on, like, hey, this
maybe we've you know, dated too long, or we did
this stuff in our dating or whatever. But if this
is where you are now that you're wanting to study
the Bible, you're wanting to glorify guy with your marriage,
(48:38):
that's an awesome place to be great, you know, questions
to be asking and.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
And you're about to say, just ask her. Yeah, yeah, bro, sure,
there is no reason. There's absolutely no reason why you
should drag this out while she's going to move in
with you, while y'all going to find it the right
venue and the right dress, and you could do that
(49:03):
all that by asking her right now.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
Yeah, just asked her right now. Whenever you said I
just don't know if I should ask her and then
you went into I own my house, I have that,
it's almost like you were You're thinking, those were the
prerequisites in order for me to get married, but it's not. Yeah,
it's not the prerequisite for you to ask her to marry.
You is being still and asking God, hey, is this
(49:30):
the woman? And then walking in that relationship, in that
relationship and you see healthy signs and then you just.
Speaker 2 (49:38):
You just know she Lord? Do you love the Lord?
Does she love the Lord? That's it. That's two questions.
She loved the Lord? You love the Lord? Are you
spiritually ready? What does that even mean? Am I spiritually
ready to be married? Probably not? I don't think so. Like, yeah,
I don't think you'll You'll never be spiritually ready, You'll
(49:58):
never be financially ready. And these same questions are going
to come back up when you're looking to have a baby.
You're gonna you're gonna come back to this podcast and
you go, hey, we've been married three years. We don't
know if we're ready to have a baby. How do
we know if we're ready to have a baby. So
then you're gonna keep asking those same kind of questions,
and so don't over spiritualize it. Does she love the Lord?
You love the Lord? You got a house paid for, bro?
(50:22):
Do it. The thing to not do is either do
it or break up with it. Really those are your
two options, because the thing to not do is drag
it out. She moves in, you know, just get comfortable,
get you know, you start getting comfortable in life without
that marriage, then what it's it? Values the marriage less
and less and so either do it or you don't.
(50:44):
But those are your only two options and your time
frame is now do it now. Yeah, that's it. It's
the end of the podcast. It's funny. I actually thought
the podcast was over before this last break, but then
we were very excited to have one more.
Speaker 1 (51:03):
Bring Now it's the real deal though. Hey man, this
is a treat for me to sit and talk with
you and hear all y'all's questions out there. So thanks
for having me back.
Speaker 2 (51:12):
I appreciate you, bro, love all y'all. See you next Monday.
Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I
appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me out
by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and
notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
a video. If you have a question for me that
(51:33):
you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at
gmail dot com. Yih
Host
Granger Smith
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