December 25, 2024 • 28 mins
Happy Holidays everyone! Haunted AF is taking a break from the ghost stories this week to discuss all the ridiculous and sometimes awful things that have happened around the holidays. We also get a visit from Krampus, who will explain what exactly happens to all those bad kids they snatch. Find this episode on YouTube or check out the companion blog to watch that interview, and don't forget that the Haunted AF Top 10 of 2024 drops next week on New Year's Eve! Support the show
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, Rebecca, welcome to our very special edition of Haunted As.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I'm very excited about this.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Mistletoe and Mayhem.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I love the name already.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
And you know what we got. We got a new
theme song for it. Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
When you should fill the puns or sparker for.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
It's solid jo shame this holiday night.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Cable ron, share the shades. It's so so in Maham.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
You know, why do we not have like a holiday band?
We it should be us. We could sing these we
do now, thanks, drop an album.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Let's see to this. You know what it sounds like?
What it sounds like one of those nineties sitcom theme songs,
like we are peaking around a corner somewhere.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah, I'm like, oh, look look at us getting into
a mess. Oh oh, the cat got into all the presents.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
It's like burning down a Christmas tree or beating up
a Santa and then turning.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
To the camera and doing the It's like, do you
do that by any I do that at home by myself?
What I am always pretending that I am on a
ninety sitcom? Oh Jesus, Like you know the full house
intro when they're like doing something and then they stop
and look at the camera. I do that at my
house alone. It's dreams. I always wanted to be on
(01:29):
a sitcom, I guess.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
So you'll do the just like the free frame and
you're like, oh yeah, you mush darn, you're so crazy.
Oh my god, I love that.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
That's stupid.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
So welcome to Mistletoe and Mayhem. You were just asking
me if I had finished my shopping.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, which I did.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I did it this morning. I got a pressed at
like nine point thirty. I was the bitch of them all,
first in there ten o'clock and boom boom, I'm out
for you. Thank you, because I know it will ruin you. Yeah,
it's like, there's nothing worse than trying to go to
the mall and shop. And to be fair, this is
Christmas Eve eve, right, yes, yeah is when we're taping this.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Like, I gotta tell you, Christmas has already tried to
kill me. It started way back on December tenth. This
has been a nightmare, like so much to do and
not enough time to do it.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
In well, you were really really sick there for a
little bit.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Correct, And then I, for whatever reason, volunteered to have
my extended family Christmas at my house yesterday. No, and
then now my husband and I, after we are done
doing the podcast today, we are going to go fight
for our lives at the mall. Yeah, try to finish
those last gifts before we leave for.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Okay, wait are you going to North Park?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I think so?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Okay, and North Park is like an absolute nightmare. Of
course it is, but I got it. That's where I
was this morning. And their Santa is the best. He
is the best Santa ever.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
First of all, North Park knows how to do Christmas, Yeah,
they do.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
So he was doing his story time with Santa whenever
I was walking down the mall. Oh nice. And to
be fair, this holiday season, I have been filled with rage,
same yeah, rage and anxiety taking turns steering the ship
right now. So I'm just I'm just trying to get
all the shit done. I just went it over with
and I'm walking down and they introduced Santa and I
don't even see him at first. I just see kids
(03:15):
running over there. The Santa sings and he starts singing, yes,
and he sings really well. I burst into DearS.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
That's Jesus being like, you've been such a bitch this Christmas.
I'm gonna get you with singing Santa.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Seriously. I was trying, like we drank so hard to
hold it back. I finally just had to sit down
and just like, bitch, cry it out, just cry it out.
I'm sitting in the middle of all these kids are
all happy, yay, and I'm.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Like, it's good.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I don't have no idea why, but for a moment
joy like one ol.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Good for you.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
The Christmas spirit that touched my cold dead heart. I
love it, and that's why I completely fell apart. That
has not happened to me.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I am one percent joyless. Have you seen the meme
where it's like Thanksgiving and Christmas being so close together,
like we should cancel one of them. I one hundred
percent agree with that.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
They kind of did, like they kind of just made
it thanks Christmas like it's just kind.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Of it's blurred together. I don't want that.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Yeah, and it's like it's over a month long.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Now, right, I can't. I can't do it. It's too much.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
It is too much. And that's why we want to
talk about everything that is not the spirit of.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Christmas, all the tragedies.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I think, and that's part of the reason that you
start feeling so crappy around the holidays is that you
know you're supposed to not be feeling that way. I
know you're supposed to be touched internally by something really wonderful,
like like a breakdown over a mall Santa, But I
don't know how.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
You can feel joy with all of the like crap
that is on your plate for next month.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
So that's why we're just going to dig into a
little bit of schadenfreud and just talk about look.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
At you with your fancy word thank you, and freud
how bad it can actually get.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
But before we do that, I do want to say
thanks to our friend Scott from Arcisa dot com who
has been making all of these incredible theme songs and.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
They're so good. Oh, they're so good.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
We're so spoiled. And in fact, somebody on Patreon said
this kind of sucks for those of us who want
to just make a little janky one for you.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, we love the janky ones too.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
We love them all. So even though we have these
really great, high quality theme songs right now, please don't.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Feel like you can't send one in. Yeah, absolutely, all right,
quick reminder, we've got our top ten of twenty twenty
four count Down will happen on New Year's Eve, and
then after that we are going to be off until February.
Thank you, Lord baby Jesus. Seriously, it's the perfect time
to become a patron at patreon dot com slash honadayf
catch up on all of those pregames before we start
releasing new episodes.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, we're taking the month off, but we'll still be
collecting your scary stories or dreams to analyze. So send
all of that stuff to Hauntday of Podcast at gmail
dot com. We will be back February February six, all
those new.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Stories, all right, So let's do this. Let's just get
into the mayhem. We've been doing some research finding some stories,
our own personal stories as well, trying to find some
of the awfulness around the holidays.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yes, do you remember back in twenty fifteen, it was
like the day after Christmas and there were these massive
tornadoes like all throughout North Texas. I think like nine
people died. It was terrible.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
That is the one that hit, I'm not kidding you
two blocks from my parents' house. Yeah, like all of
the houses literally two blocks over were flattened.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
It was crazy because I remember, ooh sorry, we were
down in Bishop Arts having dinner when all the tornado
sirens went off, Yeah, and we waited the storm out
and then we were driving home. But I remember thinking,
if you were driving this, you would never know if
a tornado was coming out because it was pitch black outside.
And that's exactly what happened. It was like hitting highways.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
That was pretty terrible. We were on our way home
from East Texas when it hit. We had to stop
at a gas station and waited out because it had
gone from like Farmersville and then down and around yeah,
to Rally Area.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
That was wild, crazy stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
That's kind of dark though I didn't know we were
going to go that dark where nine people died.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yeah, because like I was thinking of one of my own.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah, and it's this is back when I was still
in radio and we had the company Christmas party, which
were always kind of legendary because the alcohol was a flow.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
In, like a flowing and you got a bunch of drunk,
mouthy DJs hanging out just I mean, all bets are off.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
At this point. And I don't know, you remember Civil summers, right, yeah, absolutely, which,
by the way, Sybil just got a new radio job,
so congratulations for.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Her, Kate l if.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Yeah, we're you doing news. I know, good job, lady.
We're excited for you. Anyways, she and I, I don't
know why. She's like, come with me to get a
get a spray tand and I was like, no good
can come from this.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Wait, like after the Christmas party.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
After the Christmas party, we've already been there for four
hours too.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Long, Sybil, tons of fun not the best influence after
you've been drinking hundred percent.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
So we go.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
We end up at some random tanning place, like we
uber there so don't worry everybody, And we decided to
get spray tans. Well, if you don't follow the rules
to a tea on a spray tan, it's a total nightmare.
The next day I had like orange drips all the
way down my wrist, like my knuckles looked dirty.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Very Christmas.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah, I was like, here's your orange.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, now youstlete under you look like a gingerbread man.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah, that's exactly a melting gingerbread man. So my stories
were pretty dark, like was so like lighthearted. Yeah, everybody's dead.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I'm thinking, like Christmas day two thousand and nine, when
a guy tried to blow up his underwear on a flight.
Remember this, No, I don't far abdulmutallab. I'm sorry. He's
on a plane making an approach into Detroit. When everybody
started hearing noises, it sounded like firecrackers.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
That's really scary.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
It was a bomb that failed to detonate.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
So yes, it in his pants.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
It was in his underwear. So he was engulfed in flames,
which spread on the carpet and walls.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
He deserved that, he did deserve, all you buddy.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, everybody else was able to exchange to extinguish the
flames on him. The plane landed, nobody else was injured.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Okay, so I'm still thinking like the non life threatening
holiday mayhem, like the story that we found on BuzzFeed.
And about five years ago, I spent all Christmas Eve
of cooking a huge standing rib roast with all the
fixing nice. My dog, who had a week's stomach, decided
to approach my perfectly set table mid meal with my
(09:11):
entire family present, and throw up several times. He then
ran under the table with the runs as we scrambled
to clean up the mess. Oh my god, everyone immediately
left and it went down as a pretty epic fail,
although telling the story is pretty hilarious now. And that
is came in Florida.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
This reminds me of like another another family get together
in Arkansas in a rental when my cousin brought her
brand new puppy. You were like, oh, and he started
doing that thing where he was running in circles, but
he was spraying poop as he went everywhere. Well, you've
got all the poop stories I do have. I swear
this one. Did you know that the Ku Klux Klan
was founded on Christmas Eve?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
You went to the ca Cake.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I went there.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Eighteen sixty five, six Confederate veterans met in Plaski, Tennessee
to formed this secret hate group that was led by
Grand Wizard Nathan Bedford Forest. Oh my god. They were
so violent that Congress passed the Ku Klux Klan Act
of eighteen seventy one, which gave the president authority to
use military force against them.
Speaker 6 (10:14):
I did not.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, I didn't either, Well, because the Supreme Court went
in and ruled that that law was unconstitutional in eighteen
eighty two.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
What.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yeah, that's some horrible history. Right there here it is
all right, here's a good one from Alexandra. Be Christmas morning,
and we all ran into the family room where the
stockings and fireplace were. We had a real fireplace, so
bits of scrap paper were always around to use for kindling.
A piece of it had landed on top of my stocking,
so I tossed it aside and found my treasures. We
(10:41):
all compared what we had gotten, and my mom asked me,
where's the necklace. What necklace, I asked, She said, the
one on top of the tissue paper. I responded, Oh,
I didn't realize it was a gift. I tossed it there,
and I pointed to the basket filled with kindling. Then
my dad said, and I put it in there. I
pointed to the fireplace.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It was not salvagible. Oh my gosh, I hope it
wasn't like really expensive.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Please be plastic, Please be a child's plastic necklace.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And here's another horrible Christmas event, the Star Wars Holiday Special.
Did you know that this was a thing?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
So I did not. However, you had sent the video
and I tried to sit down and watch a little
bit of it. Dear God, it's so bad, so bad.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
And guys, we will post that in the Companion blog.
Because the whole thing is available on YouTube. You can
just go and watch it. It's an hour and a half, y'all.
Would you go and start? You're like, oh wow, it
kind of looks like Star Wars because like the whole staff,
not staff, the whole cast is.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
On yet Yeah, and then Harrison Ford straight.
Speaker 5 (11:40):
Up in it.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah, all of them, Carrie Fish are everybody. And then
it just starts getting really bad. It's Life Day for
the Wookies, which is a holiday, so Chubaca is going
to visit his family.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Which I'm gonna tell you that's kind of where I
start to lose it because it's like all the Wookies
trying to talk. You don't know what's going on exactly.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
They're having these long conversations and nobody knows what they're saying.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Is it intense? We're not sure.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah. And on top of the regular staff or cast again,
they have Harvey Korman, Jefferson Starship of course, why why
Eric Carney and Diane Carroll who has this weird sexy
scene with Chubacca's father.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Be Arthur's in there as well.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
The art oh, my god, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Let's go back to the sexy scene. Okay, did you
watch the sexy scene?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And I just read about it.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Why is there not a timestamp on the sexy scene?
I would have just cut straight to that. Who is
having the sex?
Speaker 1 (12:31):
I don't know. It's not that they're having sex, it's
just said they're like flirting with each other. And it
was supposed to be a holiday special, so it was
kind of like, why why do you have this?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
This is where the furries have come from. This is
when it started at all. All right, well, here's a
good one, but they want to remain anonymous. I was
a preteen and received a Christmas gift in the mail
from a relative I didn't know very well. It was
a doll that prayed when you put it with hands together.
It was nice, but as a tomboy atheist who was
afraid of doll, I found this gift quite alarming. I
(13:02):
can understand why. Yeah, I put it in my closet
so I couldn't see it while I was sleeping, and
I swear that thing started praying.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
In the middle of the night.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Oh long story short, the doll didn't stick around very long.
Anonymous my kids always hated baby dolls, specifically really yes,
and people, for whatever reason always give little girls baby dolls.
I had foughten for my niece care.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
They shit out of them. We'd have to hide them
in the closet and then it just like give them
to Goodwill or something.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I like, I loved a baby doll.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
That was not my problem.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
My issue was my grandma always gave terrible gifts. And
I have to let you in on this. I've told
this one on the radio a million times because it's
one of my favorites. I think I was ten years
old and she gave me a little sexy piece of
lacy lingerie. Not only did she give it to me,
but I opened it in front of like twenty something
family members, very confused.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
What was she thinking?
Speaker 6 (13:53):
We do not know.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I don't know, still haven't answer to this day about it. Yeah,
sexy lingerie at ten had to have been an accident.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
No, I don't know, but I literally was like, we're
just gonna pretend like that ever happened. Here's another grandma story.
This was from Haley. My grandma's notorious for giving awful
gifts like yours. One year, she gave us the Bible
on VHS.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
This was on VHS.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
This was in twenty twelve and no one had a
VHS player by that point. He gave me a guitar
for my tenth Christmas and then made me pay her
back for it.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
That is classic grandma.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yep, it gets it, keeps going. She gave me a
gumball machine with expired candy and she kept the key
so she can get the money out of it.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
She said.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
The money that I put in was payment for it.
But the best one came in the cooking pan set
that she gave me with egg residue on it from
where she had last used it. And again that is
from Haley Haley.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Oh my god, your grandma's terrible.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Grandma sucks.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I love her for the story aspect of it, but
other than that, oh.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Man, I don't want to say names because it's someone
close to me. Their story and their grandma would bring
them like gifts from the church bizarre and they got
underwear that smelled us.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Oh my, that's bad.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Yeah, that is bad. Come on, granny, nice level bad.
Go to CVS. There's always something at sea, really truly
is that's a great little gift area. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
This next one comes from Chris, who wrote in and said,
I took my newish girlfriend to this Stanley hotel for
the holidays years ago. First of all, great choice and nice.
Speaker 5 (15:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I was excited because I had gotten her some pretty
gold earrings and thought that she would love them. To
my surprise, she seemed to genuinely dislike them, though she
was really excited when she saw the small wrapped box.
I think I know where this is going. Then I
opened my gift, which was two champagne glasses. She apparently
thought I was going to propose and gave me the
(15:46):
glasses so that we could have a champagne toast our
trip was pretty awkward after that, to say the least.
But we've been married for twenty six years now. She
married you. That's congratulations.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah, nice work.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
But also, don't ever be presumptive in an engagement. Do
not the only heartache will follow. No, and don't make
jokes about it.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
The year that my husband and I got engaged, he
gave me a silver ring in a tiny box. First
you gave me that and a shirt because he knew
I really was expecting an engagement ring. He did that
as a joke, but It wasn't funny because when I
he handed me a ring box and I opened it
and there was a silver ring in there. I was like,
all right, well then I don't know what to do here.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I know, so I was trying to put on a
happy face, but I'm really pissed.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I was like this rollercoaster of emotions and it was
like ha ha ha okay, like my parents ared that.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
To me with a dog. I thought I was getting
a dog for Christmas and my mom gave my very
last present. Okay, she brings it in and it's a
snow globe with a dog in it. And I was
literally like, are you are you kidding me? I threw
like a fit and.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
A dog didn't come running in after that.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
No, No, they gave me a dog the following year.
Speaker 5 (16:53):
No.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
I think she was like, oh we messed up with
that one.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh okay, this one comes from Nate.
In twenty sixteen, we celebrated Christmas at my in laws
and Pagosa Springs, Colorado.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Oha, have you ever been a Progosa Springs?
Speaker 5 (17:06):
No?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Is it nice?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
It is nice. There's like they have the hot springs
that you can get in and relax the natural hot tubs.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
That sounds no, okay, I'll go. It was Christmas evening
and there wasn't much to do at night, so I
took both kids to see Rogue One at the local theater.
N I'd already seen the movie and thought it'd be
fine for my six year old son and aleven year
old daughter. And it's not a spoiler now to say
that all the primary characters die at the end of
the film. So when the movie's over, my daughter Jessica
was raving about how awesome it was. I asked my
(17:33):
son Garrett what he thought, and he burst into tears.
Oh no, he said, I didn't know. That's what war
is like.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
Now.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
This was in front of everybody leaving the theater, and
I could fill people staring at us. We got in
the car and I did everything to calm him down.
We talked about themes of heroism, sacrifice, and doing the
right thing even if you might die, you know, like
conversation for a six year old. He had calmed down
by the time we got back to the house, but
then when he went to get ready for bed, we
heard him sobbing through the back through doors. I ended
(18:01):
up having to hold him on the couch while he
calmed down, and all the while my wife was giving
me that way to go stare and trying not to laugh.
It took two years before he would even consider watching
Rogue one again. The entire incident still comes up. When
we were in Colorado at Christmas. Oh and two days
after we saw the movie, Carrie Fisher died. Oh my god,
(18:22):
that is from Nay.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Nay, you poor baby. I'm so sorry, so sorry, but
you know we can't stop here. We have some amazing
office Christmas party stories because they're the best. Nothing like
mixing some booze and coworkers who can't stand each other. Yes, yeah,
this one's from ronster tm on Reddit. One year, I
was asked if I'd be willing to dress up as
Santa for our holiday party. I didn't think I'd be
(18:45):
very convincing, but I reluctantly agreed. Anyhow. On the day
of the party, we were all hanging out in the
warehouse having breakfast and eating cookies. When I told everyone
I had to go outside and make a phone call.
I was actually leaving to change into my Santa claustume.
I came back again yelling ho ho ho, and put
on my best jolly old man voice. I handed out gifts,
took pictures with the staff, eight cookies, and then said
(19:08):
I had to leave because my sleigh was double parts.
After changing back into my work clothes, I walked back
into the warehouse and was greeted by a surprising number
of people who legitimately thought I'd missed Santa. Oh, grown
adults I had taken pictures with told me how I
missed out. At first, I thought people were just teasing me,
But throughout the day people kept asking who Santo was.
(19:30):
That's Ronster t o. Okay, that's adorable, that's an amazing story.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, nice work playing Santa.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Good job.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
But also if everybody was like, hey, will you play
Santa this year, I'd be like, what are you saying?
Speaker 5 (19:41):
Like that?
Speaker 1 (19:41):
You're fat?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yes, that's one hundred percent, you're fat and jolly getting
the suit?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I know, I'd be like, why why are you asking me?
So hurt? My feelings are hurt. This one's from zapfod
o seven O seven.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
They had layoffs immediately after the office potluck one year.
No the gift card that were supposed to be given
to the winners, so the cookie contest were taken off
the prize table by an executive because they knew that
both the first and second place winners were part of
the group being laid off.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
That's next level awful. It really can't lets them go
out with a prize.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, and I got to say though, like radio was
really bad about they do these pre Christmas layoffs, So
this feels very close to home. Also, at our school's
holiday party, the principal got very drunk and then calmly
walked over to a troublesome teacher who was also red
face drunk. Great, the principle proceeded to pick his nose
(20:34):
wife wipe the booger on the teacher's shoulder, and say
you're an asshole, and then he just walked off. That's over.
The teacher up pretty fast.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Oh that's nasty.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Oh that's so gross.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
You gotta hope he deserved it.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I know, right, Please be an awful human being that
deserved that booger wipe?
Speaker 5 (20:51):
All right.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Our next one comes from Jedi Architect. You know how
you can order photo boost for parties? Oh yeah, yeah,
so my old office got one during my first Christmas
party there, and apparently my coworkers were going in there
and making out, flashing the camera and doing all sorts
of bronchy stuff.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Wow, I get it.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
I see why. You sure that no one mentioned that
all the photos would be saved and put on a
website for everyone to see. Oh my god. The site
was up for fifteen minutes before the plug was abruptly pulled.
Holy ball.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
And you know somebody was flashing boobs in there, boobs,
and you.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Know somebody was like cheating. Yeah, you know, like somebody
with like their lover was like, let's go make out.
This will be hilarious. And then like a husband saw it.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
And then another anonymous story our company wants through a
massive party in a posh hotel. Afterwards, it was revealed
that we had acquired a two hundred and fifty dollars
cleanup bill because someone took a shit in the hotel
for your that'll show them.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
I am amazed by the amount of people who are
willing to take a shit somewhere, you.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Mean, just like random places.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
So like, I don't know how I've fallen into this algorithm.
Instagram and TikTok love to give me videos of people
sitting on grocery store floors. That's a thing.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
It's a thing. I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I have seen ladies who will just pull their like
panties to the side and go, why one out? Why
don't know?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Again?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Baffled? I am baffled.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Oh my gosh, Please don't. I don't want that Instagram
you know listening. Don't give me those I don't away
from me?
Speaker 2 (22:23):
All right, you guys, Sorry to leave you with that
in your head. Holiday. Yeah, happy holidays man, Christmas. Thank
you everyone for sending in your stories those. We're all
freaking amazing. I'm actually like, I've got tears.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Are you feeling better?
Speaker 5 (22:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I am. I you know what my Christmas joy might be?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Back?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Is it? I think it might be other people's misery
makes me happy.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Well that's great, but we have one more Christmas surprise
for everybody. We're back.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Okay, let's do it. What is it?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Okay, Crampis. I don't know how much time we have
and we have so many questions for you. So, first
of all, thank you so much for taking the time
to talk to us today. Okay, first of all, I
want to know what does Crampis do when it isn't Christmas?
Speaker 5 (23:06):
Oh? Good?
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Question.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
Well, yes, Ash, what's horror movies? Some romantic movies?
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Okay, so that's we were wondering. So like, if crampis
dates and if so, what does crampis date? Does grandpas
date women like uh, other monsters?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
What are you into shaming here?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah? Or is it just like well whatever tramps women?
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Women?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Naughty? Not?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
What do you consider naughty?
Speaker 5 (23:35):
I know? Very ult minded?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
That's that's nice. Let's good to know. Wait, Rebecca had
a really good one.
Speaker 5 (23:45):
I do.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
We don't know a whole of a lot of about Crampus,
but we do know you steal children?
Speaker 1 (23:49):
What are you the bad ones?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Do with the bad ones?
Speaker 5 (23:51):
It all depends on the sobriety of their naughtiness. Okay, yes,
if they're slightly naughty a couple of saying, you know,
go home, you do that again?
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (24:04):
So if they're just like rotten to the core, like theres,
they're a dexter, you.
Speaker 5 (24:07):
Know, in training, but they're very bad basically you don't like,
would you.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Date a woman with kids?
Speaker 5 (24:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Okay, you look really good?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Like what's your skincare routine?
Speaker 2 (24:18):
How do you? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (24:22):
Definitely on my days off, I read a lot.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Do you give your hair a hundred brushes every day.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
Of course, like Marcia Brady, I have to put a
condition or two and all that.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Is there a lot of shedding? Do you have to
go through with like a limp brush through your house
a lot?
Speaker 5 (24:38):
Oh? Yes, definitely. I mean I feel like it's all
over the place.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Things are going to get a little hairy with him. Okay,
obviously we know you from your dancing skills, so I'm
curious who taught you how to dance? Did you go
to school for that?
Speaker 5 (24:54):
Or well, well, actually I don't know how to dance,
to be honest, Okay, no.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
I feel like you knew enough to get all of
these like thirsty ladies hollering for you.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I know that you saw the post that we put
up on the Honda Facebook page. Did you read the comments?
There were like over six hundred comments, which is a
lot for us. Just they want a birching, big time birching.
My favorite one was like I want to cuddle it
and make bad decisions.
Speaker 5 (25:24):
Since I started as the comments had been very interesting.
I mean I'm try to read all of them.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Has anyone ever said something that offended you? Has anybody
ever taken it too far Yeah.
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Well there was one where like, uh me, we decided
that you should be the third one.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I think that we are just completely fascinated and maybe
slightly thrown off about the love of crampus and monsters
in general, Like we went a whole rabbit hole of
like the monster porn thing that people are really into it.
I'm like, Mutt, Yeah, what do you think it is that? Like,
why do women like monsters?
Speaker 5 (26:01):
That's a good question. Do you know there is a
word for that. I don't know if I'm going to
pronounce you right, but it's terophilia. Oh, basically the love
of a monster. But there are one actually a real monster,
you know, a demon or whatever. It's just somebody menacing.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
There's a whole discussion about would a woman rather run
into a man or a bear in the woods, and
women always say a bear, And yet we will, you know,
we want to cuddle a crampus. Right, So I don't
make sense, It doesn't make sense, as Julie. And yet
I will also admit that when I found that video,
I watched it way more times than I probably should.
(26:40):
Go Yeah, of course, yeah, so it's a great video.
You're awesome. We love your videos and tell everybody where
they can find you online on TikTok, Instagram, everywhere. So
if they hadn't had a chance to check out your
stuff yet, they can.
Speaker 5 (26:53):
I would say, ig is rub on the score you one?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (26:58):
Okay, TikTok is Rob on this score YouTube.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah, cram bus, I didn't know this is going to
turn into like a something. Oh I did? Where are
we going? When? Where do we need to pick you up?
Speaker 5 (27:17):
Let me know?
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Thank you so much. You're actually our final hit on
our Christmas mistic was it Mistletoe and Mayhem episode? So
thank you so much for taking the time to talk
to us and keep in touch. Yeah, we'll go start
walking around in the woods and see if we run
into a crampus or a bear first.
Speaker 5 (27:38):
All right, I like that?
Speaker 6 (27:41):
Oh the five one. The lights are bright. It's a fast,
merry Christmas night.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
But what's that sound? Sail begins of holiday wonders and.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
Nkwards sad.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
When you trip, spill the punch or sparkaf.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
It's all in God shame on this holiday night, gather
around shares a shame.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
It's Missoto and maham oh.
Speaker 5 (28:25):
Ho.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Sooner
Okay, Rebecca, welcome to our very special edition of Haunted As.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I'm very excited about this.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Mistletoe and Mayhem.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
I love the name already.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
And you know what we got. We got a new
theme song for it. Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
When you should fill the puns or sparker for.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
It's solid jo shame this holiday night.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Cable ron, share the shades. It's so so in Maham.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
You know, why do we not have like a holiday band?
We it should be us. We could sing these we
do now, thanks, drop an album.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Let's see to this. You know what it sounds like?
What it sounds like one of those nineties sitcom theme songs,
like we are peaking around a corner somewhere.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah, I'm like, oh, look look at us getting into
a mess. Oh oh, the cat got into all the presents.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
It's like burning down a Christmas tree or beating up
a Santa and then turning.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
To the camera and doing the It's like, do you
do that by any I do that at home by myself?
What I am always pretending that I am on a
ninety sitcom? Oh Jesus, Like you know the full house
intro when they're like doing something and then they stop
and look at the camera. I do that at my
house alone. It's dreams. I always wanted to be on
(01:29):
a sitcom, I guess.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
So you'll do the just like the free frame and
you're like, oh yeah, you mush darn, you're so crazy.
Oh my god, I love that.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
That's stupid.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
So welcome to Mistletoe and Mayhem. You were just asking
me if I had finished my shopping.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, which I did.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
I did it this morning. I got a pressed at
like nine point thirty. I was the bitch of them all,
first in there ten o'clock and boom boom, I'm out
for you. Thank you, because I know it will ruin you. Yeah,
it's like, there's nothing worse than trying to go to
the mall and shop. And to be fair, this is
Christmas Eve eve, right, yes, yeah is when we're taping this.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Like, I gotta tell you, Christmas has already tried to
kill me. It started way back on December tenth. This
has been a nightmare, like so much to do and
not enough time to do it.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
In well, you were really really sick there for a
little bit.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Correct, And then I, for whatever reason, volunteered to have
my extended family Christmas at my house yesterday. No, and
then now my husband and I, after we are done
doing the podcast today, we are going to go fight
for our lives at the mall. Yeah, try to finish
those last gifts before we leave for.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Okay, wait are you going to North Park?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I think so?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Okay, and North Park is like an absolute nightmare. Of
course it is, but I got it. That's where I
was this morning. And their Santa is the best. He
is the best Santa ever.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
First of all, North Park knows how to do Christmas, Yeah,
they do.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
So he was doing his story time with Santa whenever
I was walking down the mall. Oh nice. And to
be fair, this holiday season, I have been filled with rage,
same yeah, rage and anxiety taking turns steering the ship
right now. So I'm just I'm just trying to get
all the shit done. I just went it over with
and I'm walking down and they introduced Santa and I
don't even see him at first. I just see kids
(03:15):
running over there. The Santa sings and he starts singing, yes,
and he sings really well. I burst into DearS.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
That's Jesus being like, you've been such a bitch this Christmas.
I'm gonna get you with singing Santa.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Seriously. I was trying, like we drank so hard to
hold it back. I finally just had to sit down
and just like, bitch, cry it out, just cry it out.
I'm sitting in the middle of all these kids are
all happy, yay, and I'm.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Like, it's good.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I don't have no idea why, but for a moment
joy like one ol.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Good for you.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
The Christmas spirit that touched my cold dead heart. I
love it, and that's why I completely fell apart. That
has not happened to me.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I am one percent joyless. Have you seen the meme
where it's like Thanksgiving and Christmas being so close together,
like we should cancel one of them. I one hundred
percent agree with that.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
They kind of did, like they kind of just made
it thanks Christmas like it's just kind.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Of it's blurred together. I don't want that.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Yeah, and it's like it's over a month long.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Now, right, I can't. I can't do it. It's too much.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
It is too much. And that's why we want to
talk about everything that is not the spirit of.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Christmas, all the tragedies.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I think, and that's part of the reason that you
start feeling so crappy around the holidays is that you
know you're supposed to not be feeling that way. I
know you're supposed to be touched internally by something really wonderful,
like like a breakdown over a mall Santa, But I
don't know how.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
You can feel joy with all of the like crap
that is on your plate for next month.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
So that's why we're just going to dig into a
little bit of schadenfreud and just talk about look.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
At you with your fancy word thank you, and freud
how bad it can actually get.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
But before we do that, I do want to say
thanks to our friend Scott from Arcisa dot com who
has been making all of these incredible theme songs and.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
They're so good. Oh, they're so good.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
We're so spoiled. And in fact, somebody on Patreon said
this kind of sucks for those of us who want
to just make a little janky one for you.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, we love the janky ones too.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
We love them all. So even though we have these
really great, high quality theme songs right now, please don't.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Feel like you can't send one in. Yeah, absolutely, all right,
quick reminder, we've got our top ten of twenty twenty
four count Down will happen on New Year's Eve, and
then after that we are going to be off until February.
Thank you, Lord baby Jesus. Seriously, it's the perfect time
to become a patron at patreon dot com slash honadayf
catch up on all of those pregames before we start
releasing new episodes.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, we're taking the month off, but we'll still be
collecting your scary stories or dreams to analyze. So send
all of that stuff to Hauntday of Podcast at gmail
dot com. We will be back February February six, all
those new.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Stories, all right, So let's do this. Let's just get
into the mayhem. We've been doing some research finding some stories,
our own personal stories as well, trying to find some
of the awfulness around the holidays.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yes, do you remember back in twenty fifteen, it was
like the day after Christmas and there were these massive
tornadoes like all throughout North Texas. I think like nine
people died. It was terrible.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
That is the one that hit, I'm not kidding you
two blocks from my parents' house. Yeah, like all of
the houses literally two blocks over were flattened.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
It was crazy because I remember, ooh sorry, we were
down in Bishop Arts having dinner when all the tornado
sirens went off, Yeah, and we waited the storm out
and then we were driving home. But I remember thinking,
if you were driving this, you would never know if
a tornado was coming out because it was pitch black outside.
And that's exactly what happened. It was like hitting highways.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
That was pretty terrible. We were on our way home
from East Texas when it hit. We had to stop
at a gas station and waited out because it had
gone from like Farmersville and then down and around yeah,
to Rally Area.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
That was wild, crazy stuff.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
That's kind of dark though I didn't know we were
going to go that dark where nine people died.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Yeah, because like I was thinking of one of my own.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Yeah, and it's this is back when I was still
in radio and we had the company Christmas party, which
were always kind of legendary because the alcohol was a flow.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
In, like a flowing and you got a bunch of drunk,
mouthy DJs hanging out just I mean, all bets are off.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
At this point. And I don't know, you remember Civil summers, right, yeah, absolutely, which,
by the way, Sybil just got a new radio job,
so congratulations for.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Her, Kate l if.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Yeah, we're you doing news. I know, good job, lady.
We're excited for you. Anyways, she and I, I don't
know why. She's like, come with me to get a
get a spray tand and I was like, no good
can come from this.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Wait, like after the Christmas party.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
After the Christmas party, we've already been there for four
hours too.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Long, Sybil, tons of fun not the best influence after
you've been drinking hundred percent.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
So we go.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
We end up at some random tanning place, like we
uber there so don't worry everybody, And we decided to
get spray tans. Well, if you don't follow the rules
to a tea on a spray tan, it's a total nightmare.
The next day I had like orange drips all the
way down my wrist, like my knuckles looked dirty.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Very Christmas.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yeah, I was like, here's your orange.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, now youstlete under you look like a gingerbread man.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Yeah, that's exactly a melting gingerbread man. So my stories
were pretty dark, like was so like lighthearted. Yeah, everybody's dead.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I'm thinking, like Christmas day two thousand and nine, when
a guy tried to blow up his underwear on a flight.
Remember this, No, I don't far abdulmutallab. I'm sorry. He's
on a plane making an approach into Detroit. When everybody
started hearing noises, it sounded like firecrackers.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
That's really scary.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
It was a bomb that failed to detonate.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
So yes, it in his pants.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
It was in his underwear. So he was engulfed in flames,
which spread on the carpet and walls.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
He deserved that, he did deserve, all you buddy.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah, everybody else was able to exchange to extinguish the
flames on him. The plane landed, nobody else was injured.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Okay, so I'm still thinking like the non life threatening
holiday mayhem, like the story that we found on BuzzFeed.
And about five years ago, I spent all Christmas Eve
of cooking a huge standing rib roast with all the
fixing nice. My dog, who had a week's stomach, decided
to approach my perfectly set table mid meal with my
(09:11):
entire family present, and throw up several times. He then
ran under the table with the runs as we scrambled
to clean up the mess. Oh my god, everyone immediately
left and it went down as a pretty epic fail,
although telling the story is pretty hilarious now. And that
is came in Florida.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
This reminds me of like another another family get together
in Arkansas in a rental when my cousin brought her
brand new puppy. You were like, oh, and he started
doing that thing where he was running in circles, but
he was spraying poop as he went everywhere. Well, you've
got all the poop stories I do have. I swear
this one. Did you know that the Ku Klux Klan
was founded on Christmas Eve?
Speaker 2 (09:52):
You went to the ca Cake.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I went there.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Eighteen sixty five, six Confederate veterans met in Plaski, Tennessee
to formed this secret hate group that was led by
Grand Wizard Nathan Bedford Forest. Oh my god. They were
so violent that Congress passed the Ku Klux Klan Act
of eighteen seventy one, which gave the president authority to
use military force against them.
Speaker 6 (10:14):
I did not.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, I didn't either, Well, because the Supreme Court went
in and ruled that that law was unconstitutional in eighteen
eighty two.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
What.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yeah, that's some horrible history. Right there here it is
all right, here's a good one from Alexandra. Be Christmas morning,
and we all ran into the family room where the
stockings and fireplace were. We had a real fireplace, so
bits of scrap paper were always around to use for kindling.
A piece of it had landed on top of my stocking,
so I tossed it aside and found my treasures. We
(10:41):
all compared what we had gotten, and my mom asked me,
where's the necklace. What necklace, I asked, She said, the
one on top of the tissue paper. I responded, Oh,
I didn't realize it was a gift. I tossed it there,
and I pointed to the basket filled with kindling. Then
my dad said, and I put it in there. I
pointed to the fireplace.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
It was not salvagible. Oh my gosh, I hope it
wasn't like really expensive.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
Please be plastic, Please be a child's plastic necklace.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And here's another horrible Christmas event, the Star Wars Holiday Special.
Did you know that this was a thing?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
So I did not. However, you had sent the video
and I tried to sit down and watch a little
bit of it. Dear God, it's so bad, so bad.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
And guys, we will post that in the Companion blog.
Because the whole thing is available on YouTube. You can
just go and watch it. It's an hour and a half, y'all.
Would you go and start? You're like, oh wow, it
kind of looks like Star Wars because like the whole staff,
not staff, the whole cast is.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
On yet Yeah, and then Harrison Ford straight.
Speaker 5 (11:40):
Up in it.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Yeah, all of them, Carrie Fish are everybody. And then
it just starts getting really bad. It's Life Day for
the Wookies, which is a holiday, so Chubaca is going
to visit his family.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Which I'm gonna tell you that's kind of where I
start to lose it because it's like all the Wookies
trying to talk. You don't know what's going on exactly.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
They're having these long conversations and nobody knows what they're saying.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Is it intense? We're not sure.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah. And on top of the regular staff or cast again,
they have Harvey Korman, Jefferson Starship of course, why why
Eric Carney and Diane Carroll who has this weird sexy
scene with Chubacca's father.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Be Arthur's in there as well.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
The art oh, my god, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Let's go back to the sexy scene. Okay, did you
watch the sexy scene?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And I just read about it.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Why is there not a timestamp on the sexy scene?
I would have just cut straight to that. Who is
having the sex?
Speaker 1 (12:31):
I don't know. It's not that they're having sex, it's
just said they're like flirting with each other. And it
was supposed to be a holiday special, so it was
kind of like, why why do you have this?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
This is where the furries have come from. This is
when it started at all. All right, well, here's a
good one, but they want to remain anonymous. I was
a preteen and received a Christmas gift in the mail
from a relative I didn't know very well. It was
a doll that prayed when you put it with hands together.
It was nice, but as a tomboy atheist who was
afraid of doll, I found this gift quite alarming. I
(13:02):
can understand why. Yeah, I put it in my closet
so I couldn't see it while I was sleeping, and
I swear that thing started praying.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
In the middle of the night.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Oh long story short, the doll didn't stick around very long.
Anonymous my kids always hated baby dolls, specifically really yes,
and people, for whatever reason always give little girls baby dolls.
I had foughten for my niece care.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
They shit out of them. We'd have to hide them
in the closet and then it just like give them
to Goodwill or something.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I like, I loved a baby doll.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
That was not my problem.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
My issue was my grandma always gave terrible gifts. And
I have to let you in on this. I've told
this one on the radio a million times because it's
one of my favorites. I think I was ten years
old and she gave me a little sexy piece of
lacy lingerie. Not only did she give it to me,
but I opened it in front of like twenty something
family members, very confused.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
What was she thinking?
Speaker 6 (13:53):
We do not know.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I don't know, still haven't answer to this day about it. Yeah,
sexy lingerie at ten had to have been an accident.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
No, I don't know, but I literally was like, we're
just gonna pretend like that ever happened. Here's another grandma story.
This was from Haley. My grandma's notorious for giving awful
gifts like yours. One year, she gave us the Bible
on VHS.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
This was on VHS.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
This was in twenty twelve and no one had a
VHS player by that point. He gave me a guitar
for my tenth Christmas and then made me pay her
back for it.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
That is classic grandma.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yep, it gets it, keeps going. She gave me a
gumball machine with expired candy and she kept the key
so she can get the money out of it.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
She said.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
The money that I put in was payment for it.
But the best one came in the cooking pan set
that she gave me with egg residue on it from
where she had last used it. And again that is
from Haley Haley.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Oh my god, your grandma's terrible.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
Grandma sucks.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I love her for the story aspect of it, but
other than that, oh.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Man, I don't want to say names because it's someone
close to me. Their story and their grandma would bring
them like gifts from the church bizarre and they got
underwear that smelled us.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Oh my, that's bad.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Yeah, that is bad. Come on, granny, nice level bad.
Go to CVS. There's always something at sea, really truly
is that's a great little gift area. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
This next one comes from Chris, who wrote in and said,
I took my newish girlfriend to this Stanley hotel for
the holidays years ago. First of all, great choice and nice.
Speaker 5 (15:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I was excited because I had gotten her some pretty
gold earrings and thought that she would love them. To
my surprise, she seemed to genuinely dislike them, though she
was really excited when she saw the small wrapped box.
I think I know where this is going. Then I
opened my gift, which was two champagne glasses. She apparently
thought I was going to propose and gave me the
(15:46):
glasses so that we could have a champagne toast our
trip was pretty awkward after that, to say the least.
But we've been married for twenty six years now. She
married you. That's congratulations.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah, nice work.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
But also, don't ever be presumptive in an engagement. Do
not the only heartache will follow. No, and don't make
jokes about it.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
The year that my husband and I got engaged, he
gave me a silver ring in a tiny box. First
you gave me that and a shirt because he knew
I really was expecting an engagement ring. He did that
as a joke, but It wasn't funny because when I
he handed me a ring box and I opened it
and there was a silver ring in there. I was like,
all right, well then I don't know what to do here.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I know, so I was trying to put on a
happy face, but I'm really pissed.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I was like this rollercoaster of emotions and it was
like ha ha ha okay, like my parents ared that.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
To me with a dog. I thought I was getting
a dog for Christmas and my mom gave my very
last present. Okay, she brings it in and it's a
snow globe with a dog in it. And I was
literally like, are you are you kidding me? I threw
like a fit and.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
A dog didn't come running in after that.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
No, No, they gave me a dog the following year.
Speaker 5 (16:53):
No.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
I think she was like, oh we messed up with
that one.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh okay, this one comes from Nate.
In twenty sixteen, we celebrated Christmas at my in laws
and Pagosa Springs, Colorado.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Oha, have you ever been a Progosa Springs?
Speaker 5 (17:06):
No?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Is it nice?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
It is nice. There's like they have the hot springs
that you can get in and relax the natural hot tubs.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
That sounds no, okay, I'll go. It was Christmas evening
and there wasn't much to do at night, so I
took both kids to see Rogue One at the local theater.
N I'd already seen the movie and thought it'd be
fine for my six year old son and aleven year
old daughter. And it's not a spoiler now to say
that all the primary characters die at the end of
the film. So when the movie's over, my daughter Jessica
was raving about how awesome it was. I asked my
(17:33):
son Garrett what he thought, and he burst into tears.
Oh no, he said, I didn't know. That's what war
is like.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
Now.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
This was in front of everybody leaving the theater, and
I could fill people staring at us. We got in
the car and I did everything to calm him down.
We talked about themes of heroism, sacrifice, and doing the
right thing even if you might die, you know, like
conversation for a six year old. He had calmed down
by the time we got back to the house, but
then when he went to get ready for bed, we
heard him sobbing through the back through doors. I ended
(18:01):
up having to hold him on the couch while he
calmed down, and all the while my wife was giving
me that way to go stare and trying not to laugh.
It took two years before he would even consider watching
Rogue one again. The entire incident still comes up. When
we were in Colorado at Christmas. Oh and two days
after we saw the movie, Carrie Fisher died. Oh my god,
(18:22):
that is from Nay.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Nay, you poor baby. I'm so sorry, so sorry, but
you know we can't stop here. We have some amazing
office Christmas party stories because they're the best. Nothing like
mixing some booze and coworkers who can't stand each other. Yes, yeah,
this one's from ronster tm on Reddit. One year, I
was asked if I'd be willing to dress up as
Santa for our holiday party. I didn't think I'd be
(18:45):
very convincing, but I reluctantly agreed. Anyhow. On the day
of the party, we were all hanging out in the
warehouse having breakfast and eating cookies. When I told everyone
I had to go outside and make a phone call.
I was actually leaving to change into my Santa claustume.
I came back again yelling ho ho ho, and put
on my best jolly old man voice. I handed out gifts,
took pictures with the staff, eight cookies, and then said
(19:08):
I had to leave because my sleigh was double parts.
After changing back into my work clothes, I walked back
into the warehouse and was greeted by a surprising number
of people who legitimately thought I'd missed Santa. Oh, grown
adults I had taken pictures with told me how I
missed out. At first, I thought people were just teasing me,
But throughout the day people kept asking who Santo was.
(19:30):
That's Ronster t o. Okay, that's adorable, that's an amazing story.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, nice work playing Santa.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Good job.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
But also if everybody was like, hey, will you play
Santa this year, I'd be like, what are you saying?
Speaker 5 (19:41):
Like that?
Speaker 1 (19:41):
You're fat?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yes, that's one hundred percent, you're fat and jolly getting
the suit?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
I know, I'd be like, why why are you asking me?
So hurt? My feelings are hurt. This one's from zapfod
o seven O seven.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
They had layoffs immediately after the office potluck one year.
No the gift card that were supposed to be given
to the winners, so the cookie contest were taken off
the prize table by an executive because they knew that
both the first and second place winners were part of
the group being laid off.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
That's next level awful. It really can't lets them go
out with a prize.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, and I got to say though, like radio was
really bad about they do these pre Christmas layoffs, So
this feels very close to home. Also, at our school's
holiday party, the principal got very drunk and then calmly
walked over to a troublesome teacher who was also red
face drunk. Great, the principle proceeded to pick his nose
(20:34):
wife wipe the booger on the teacher's shoulder, and say
you're an asshole, and then he just walked off. That's over.
The teacher up pretty fast.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Oh that's nasty.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Oh that's so gross.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
You gotta hope he deserved it.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I know, right, Please be an awful human being that
deserved that booger wipe?
Speaker 5 (20:51):
All right.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Our next one comes from Jedi Architect. You know how
you can order photo boost for parties? Oh yeah, yeah,
so my old office got one during my first Christmas
party there, and apparently my coworkers were going in there
and making out, flashing the camera and doing all sorts
of bronchy stuff.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Wow, I get it.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
I see why. You sure that no one mentioned that
all the photos would be saved and put on a
website for everyone to see. Oh my god. The site
was up for fifteen minutes before the plug was abruptly pulled.
Holy ball.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
And you know somebody was flashing boobs in there, boobs,
and you.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Know somebody was like cheating. Yeah, you know, like somebody
with like their lover was like, let's go make out.
This will be hilarious. And then like a husband saw it.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
And then another anonymous story our company wants through a
massive party in a posh hotel. Afterwards, it was revealed
that we had acquired a two hundred and fifty dollars
cleanup bill because someone took a shit in the hotel
for your that'll show them.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
I am amazed by the amount of people who are
willing to take a shit somewhere, you.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Mean, just like random places.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
So like, I don't know how I've fallen into this algorithm.
Instagram and TikTok love to give me videos of people
sitting on grocery store floors. That's a thing.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
It's a thing. I had no idea.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I have seen ladies who will just pull their like
panties to the side and go, why one out? Why
don't know?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Again?
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Baffled? I am baffled.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Oh my gosh, Please don't. I don't want that Instagram
you know listening. Don't give me those I don't away
from me?
Speaker 2 (22:23):
All right, you guys, Sorry to leave you with that
in your head. Holiday. Yeah, happy holidays man, Christmas. Thank
you everyone for sending in your stories those. We're all
freaking amazing. I'm actually like, I've got tears.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Are you feeling better?
Speaker 5 (22:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I am. I you know what my Christmas joy might be?
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Back?
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Is it? I think it might be other people's misery
makes me happy.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Well that's great, but we have one more Christmas surprise
for everybody. We're back.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Okay, let's do it. What is it?
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Okay, Crampis. I don't know how much time we have
and we have so many questions for you. So, first
of all, thank you so much for taking the time
to talk to us today. Okay, first of all, I
want to know what does Crampis do when it isn't Christmas?
Speaker 5 (23:06):
Oh? Good?
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Question.
Speaker 5 (23:07):
Well, yes, Ash, what's horror movies? Some romantic movies?
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Okay, so that's we were wondering. So like, if crampis
dates and if so, what does crampis date? Does grandpas
date women like uh, other monsters?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
What are you into shaming here?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah? Or is it just like well whatever tramps women?
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Women?
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Naughty? Not?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
What do you consider naughty?
Speaker 5 (23:35):
I know? Very ult minded?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
That's that's nice. Let's good to know. Wait, Rebecca had
a really good one.
Speaker 5 (23:45):
I do.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
We don't know a whole of a lot of about Crampus,
but we do know you steal children?
Speaker 1 (23:49):
What are you the bad ones?
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Do with the bad ones?
Speaker 5 (23:51):
It all depends on the sobriety of their naughtiness. Okay, yes,
if they're slightly naughty a couple of saying, you know,
go home, you do that again?
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (24:04):
So if they're just like rotten to the core, like theres,
they're a dexter, you.
Speaker 5 (24:07):
Know, in training, but they're very bad basically you don't like,
would you.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Date a woman with kids?
Speaker 5 (24:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Okay, you look really good?
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Like what's your skincare routine?
Speaker 2 (24:18):
How do you? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (24:22):
Definitely on my days off, I read a lot.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Do you give your hair a hundred brushes every day.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
Of course, like Marcia Brady, I have to put a
condition or two and all that.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Is there a lot of shedding? Do you have to
go through with like a limp brush through your house
a lot?
Speaker 5 (24:38):
Oh? Yes, definitely. I mean I feel like it's all
over the place.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Things are going to get a little hairy with him. Okay,
obviously we know you from your dancing skills, so I'm
curious who taught you how to dance? Did you go
to school for that?
Speaker 5 (24:54):
Or well, well, actually I don't know how to dance,
to be honest, Okay, no.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
I feel like you knew enough to get all of
these like thirsty ladies hollering for you.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I know that you saw the post that we put
up on the Honda Facebook page. Did you read the comments?
There were like over six hundred comments, which is a
lot for us. Just they want a birching, big time birching.
My favorite one was like I want to cuddle it
and make bad decisions.
Speaker 5 (25:24):
Since I started as the comments had been very interesting.
I mean I'm try to read all of them.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Has anyone ever said something that offended you? Has anybody
ever taken it too far Yeah.
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Well there was one where like, uh me, we decided
that you should be the third one.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
I think that we are just completely fascinated and maybe
slightly thrown off about the love of crampus and monsters
in general, Like we went a whole rabbit hole of
like the monster porn thing that people are really into it.
I'm like, Mutt, Yeah, what do you think it is that? Like,
why do women like monsters?
Speaker 5 (26:01):
That's a good question. Do you know there is a
word for that. I don't know if I'm going to
pronounce you right, but it's terophilia. Oh, basically the love
of a monster. But there are one actually a real monster,
you know, a demon or whatever. It's just somebody menacing.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
There's a whole discussion about would a woman rather run
into a man or a bear in the woods, and
women always say a bear, And yet we will, you know,
we want to cuddle a crampus. Right, So I don't
make sense, It doesn't make sense, as Julie. And yet
I will also admit that when I found that video,
I watched it way more times than I probably should.
(26:40):
Go Yeah, of course, yeah, so it's a great video.
You're awesome. We love your videos and tell everybody where
they can find you online on TikTok, Instagram, everywhere. So
if they hadn't had a chance to check out your
stuff yet, they can.
Speaker 5 (26:53):
I would say, ig is rub on the score you one?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (26:58):
Okay, TikTok is Rob on this score YouTube.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah, cram bus, I didn't know this is going to
turn into like a something. Oh I did? Where are
we going? When? Where do we need to pick you up?
Speaker 5 (27:17):
Let me know?
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Thank you so much. You're actually our final hit on
our Christmas mistic was it Mistletoe and Mayhem episode? So
thank you so much for taking the time to talk
to us and keep in touch. Yeah, we'll go start
walking around in the woods and see if we run
into a crampus or a bear first.
Speaker 5 (27:38):
All right, I like that?
Speaker 6 (27:41):
Oh the five one. The lights are bright. It's a fast,
merry Christmas night.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
But what's that sound? Sail begins of holiday wonders and.
Speaker 4 (28:01):
Nkwards sad.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
When you trip, spill the punch or sparkaf.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
It's all in God shame on this holiday night, gather
around shares a shame.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
It's Missoto and maham oh.
Speaker 5 (28:25):
Ho.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Sooner
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