Today’s devotional wrestles with where—or if—God lives, and why the body was my first church. I talk about hiding from “knowing” with busy perfection, getting brought to my knees, and the strange alchemy where the pain of alignment expands our capacity for joy. If “up-there God” never worked for you, this one’s for you.
Timestamps
Coffee + confession: “I don’t believe in an up-there God.”
The gendered God problem; why a half-God can’t hold a whole life
The body as the beginning: tight, trapped, spinning wheels
How I hid from knowing (babies, birthdays, busy)
Letting myself out: color floods back, but so does shadow
Pain as teacher: brought to my knees until I listened
The equation: capacity to hold pain = capacity to receive joy
If prayer never fit, try presence: “God as the love I house”
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