Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's been a great show spending the morning with you,
Jerry Lopez. This is Ethan Hatcher and Jerry Lopez filling
in on the Kendle and Kse Show and coming hot
and heavy off the holiday season. Merry Christmas to everybody.
I thought it would be nice to end the show
on a bit of a positive note, considering some of
the rather dour topics that we've covered. But this is
(00:20):
the story of how Donald Trump saved Christmas.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Enjoy twas the night before Christmas, the snow deep and white.
The reindeer were set for their long winter flight. The
l's were all wrapping the last gifts with care. The
scent of hot coco hung sweet in the air. Old
Sata sat slumped in his chair by the fire, His
nose red and runny. His fever grew higher. He sneezed
and he sniffled. He coughed, and he weaved.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Dear Santa, groan, I'm as sick as can be.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Outside of the workshop arose such a clatter, the chopper,
arriving what could be the matter? Away to his window.
Old Santa did dash, threw open the shutters, and drew
up the sash. There on the snow, touching down with
a thump. Marine one arrived with President Trump. Donald stepped
down onto the snow with a confident stride and a
soft orange globe.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Hey Santa, Trump called, you look tired, so tired. I'll
be Santa this year.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
It's a the job I admire. I've handled much bigger.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Believe me, it's true. The economy China.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I'll handle this too. Old Santa just blinked and he
started to grin.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
Hello, my old friend, come in, come in.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
I've done this for centuries, year after year.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
Night off sounds nice.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
It's so cozy in here.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Trump strutted inside to the workshop with Claire. The elves
all stopped working through ogel and stare these elves.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
Donald said, they're incredible folks, the best in the business.
They're really no joke. We're gonna have Christmas like never before,
the biggest, the best. That's what we're here for.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
He loaded the sleigh with his own special touch more gifts.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
We need more. This isn't enough.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
The bag overflowed, stacked right to the top, all made
by the elves and Santa's workshop. Then onto the sleigh.
He climbed up with great pride, Melania's cookies.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Tucked right by his side. He cracked the gold whip.
The reindeer took flight.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Now, Dasher, now prans, let's do this thing right on Comet,
on Cupid, on donder and Blitzen. We'll make history tonight
and poems will be written.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Reindeer responded with thunder and sparkle, and off through the sky.
They blazed into the dark. For the daughters, a doll
with a pretty pink dress. For the suns, a race
car shiny red the best.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Because boys will be boys and girls will be girls.
It's just common sense. It's for real world.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
The Democrats' houses, he came without spite, even though they'd
complain and they'd fuss and they'd fight. He left them
face masks and ninety five so that they'd feel safe
when driving inside their cars, all alone, with windows rolled tight.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
They're still double masking at such a sad sight.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Greta Thunberg, bobbleheads too, a little voice box that screams,
how dare you? In one quiet house, Trump knelt by
the tree when a little boy woke. He'd got up
to pee sanded, he asked, and slowly walked near, but
Sata looked different, more orange, less beard, Not Santa, Trump said,
with a wink and a grin, but just as.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Good looking and way way more thin.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
The boy rubbed his eyes.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Are you President Trump?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Trump just smiled and gave the kid a fist bump,
then held out a flag, red, white, and blue.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Merry Christmas, young man, this is for you.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Before heading north, Trump sinched up his coat. One last
present to give to the cartel book no missiles tonight.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
It was Christmas, you see. Instead, he dropped something more naturally.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
The reindeer led loose with a thunderous sound and magical
dropping swiftly rained down. The reindeer that fly have a
special made pool. It sparkles, explodes, and it's quite deadly too.
Boom went the speedboats. Lamb went the drugs out into
the sea. Flew the criminal thugs.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
But Trump wasn't done. He swung around back.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
I'll finish them off with a quick double.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Tap, another passover, more presents from deer, and the cartel's
whole shipment had just disappeared.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
That's how we do Christmas, Trump shouted with glee. Merry Christmas,
you scumbags, This gift was from me.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Trump finally turned north and gone filled the sky. The
reindeer were tired, and so was the guy. Old Santa
was waiting with cocoa in hand. Well done, Donald Trump.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
That was all just so grand. It was nothing. Believe me,
I do this all day. I love delivering toys in
your sleigh. The people are happy, the presents delivered, the
drug boats are sunk, and justice delivered.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
He handed the reins back to jolly Saint Nick.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Call me again, whenever you're sick.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
You saved Christmas this year.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
God bless you, my friend.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Trump nodded and turned. The trip had to end.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Marine one lifted off into the sky and Santa waved
back with a tear in his eye. Trump leaned out
the window that cold Christmas day, real loud, so Santa
could hear him say.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
To the soldiers abroad, and the farmers at home, to
the builders, the truckers wherever they roam, to the cops
and the nurses, the teachers, the vets, to the kids
in pajamas and the family pets, and even the haters,
the losers, the fakes, and even Pelosi, that treacherous snake.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Santa heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight.
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
But then Sata heard one more thing at the end, Let's.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
Make America great again.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
That was great. I love the stuff that you could
do with AI.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
That's great. Yeah, we've got it.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Listen, it's only going to get better. Yeah already come
afar a long way. I mean it has gotten substantially
better since they first introduced it. But yeah, certainly, coming
from everybody here at WIBC, coming from me, coming from Jerry,
coming from Kylin, we want to wish everybody a merry
Christmas and a very very happy New Year. We wouldn't
be able to do all of this without the support
(05:18):
from you wonderful people, and thank you for being a
part of the station. It means the world to us.
And I know I speak I think I speak for
you too, Jerry, definitely, definitely, and make sure you come
back join me tonight for the Tony Kinneck Cast.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
If you're not able to make it, hey have a
safe and great weekend.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Have a safe and great weekend, and thanks for tuning
in with us here on the Kendall MKC Show. This
is Ethan Hatcher and Jerry Lopez signing off. Thanks for
joining US folks,