An Odd Aesthetic

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey, imagine that, Two millennials doing a podcast to
avoid legalizing the urgent. Yeah, probably because they
can't afford therapy. This is mostly true.
Opinions. Hello there.
Hi. Thank you for being here, this
is mostly true opinions. I am Cameron that is Katie Kay

(00:22):
comedy. Hope you all had a good three
day weekend. Yeah, you'll see.
Memorial Day is one of those days that you don't say happy,
have a good Memorial Day or happy Memorial Day for obvious
reasons. It's kind of like, what's the
other one? Veteran's Day, don't you?

(00:43):
Labor Day? I don't know.
Labor Day. No, I don't know.
Who knows, but already here, Yeah, came and went.
You know, if it's weird like thethree day weekend thing,
Memorial Day people have like their big celebration on the
Monday they're off as opposed tothe Sunday before the Monday.

(01:08):
I never understood that. I thought that it was absolutely
the Sunday we. I thought so too, but then I
there's like more people out on Monday.
I saw and like hear on the radio, oh, everybody's
celebrating their Memorial Day today.
They're really having your BBQ doing that.
I'm like what? Oh I know.

(01:28):
I thought it was just Sunday night.
People actually stay out and do.Things.
That's what I thought too, Like how people complain about the
Super Bowl. The Monday after the Super Bowl
should be off. It's like, OK, that you're.
So that means you're partying Super Bowl Sunday, taking Monday
off to recover, back to work Tuesday, right?

(01:51):
Yeah. The world's upside down is, I
think, the larger point I'm making.
Do I sound weird? Yeah.
Why? I don't know.
There's something going on with my throat tonight.
OK. Yeah.
Like I feel it. Great.
Yeah, I almost ordered US. One of our friends has a new

(02:12):
like immunity supplement that she said like cured her of being
sick before she travels. What is it made of?
321 beets? No.
Beets. Yeah, that's like the superfood
that everybody. It has a bunch of stuff in it,
all the good, so maybe I'll order it for you.
See, I've never used I I feel like that stuff doesn't work.

(02:33):
Like not even medication. Medication work, I know, but
that that class of things doesn't seem to work for me.
The natural like supplements don't work for you like
echinacea and stuff. I don't know, but I I I'd also
feel like Advil and. Aleve.
Doesn't actually work. Oh my God.

(02:54):
This is a relatively new theory I have.
OK. Because we've been doing a lot
of house stuff and I've been taking Aleve because I'm falling
apart and I don't think it does anything.
And this is a brand new bottle of Aleve.
I think it's one giant conspiracy.

(03:15):
So you feel the same exact amount of pain in your body.
Yes, OK. Maybe your?
This is my health. Maybe your issues are deeper
than Aleve. That's the commercial for
Tylenol. No, that's the commercial for
fucking muscle relaxers. That's the commercial for

(03:36):
Quaaludes. Yeah, what are quaaludes, by the
way? I think muscle relaxers ask
which device is. It Alexa, what are quaaludes?
Methacalone is a hypnotic sedative.
It was sold under the brain. A hypnotic sedative.
Hypnotic. Sedative.
OK, Alexa, stop. Because it's always like in the

(03:58):
movies when it's something older, you know?
I mean, I went to a outdoor screening at the Sinispia in LA.
That's what the guy calls it. Who founded it?
It's spelled Sinespia, so. Everybody calls it Sinespia.

(04:19):
He calls it Sinespia. Sure, Tomato, tomato, IKEA,
IKEA. But there we saw Almost Famous
and in the movie somebody takes Quaaludes, Wolf Wall Street
Quaaludes. This whole time I'm like, I, I
know it's a drug, but what is it?
They're not around anymore, right I.
Don't think so. OK, it's probably good that we
don't know. Totally.

(04:41):
I feel like that's a decent sign.
I could be wrong. Yeah, I do have.
I do like going down the TikTok rabbit hole of conspiracy
theories and all these things, and there's one I don't really
understand right now. Over the last couple of weeks,
people have been dragging Chipotle.

(05:03):
We may have started this. I think we talked about it on
the podcast How Chipotle Has Fallen.
Off, yeah. And for the last couple weeks,
people on Twitter have been posting like memes.
And I've been seeing TikTok videos about like how when you
went to Chipotle years ago, it was like, I can get two, maybe
three meals out of one bowl or whatever.

(05:26):
And now the whole thing is the quality has gone down, the
portions have gone down, the prices have gone up.
Right. Which is true.
It's undeniable. The food influencer Keith Lee
did a review and I think that's what put it over the edge.
Yeah, and he he gave it like A2 right out of 10.
So now allegedly internal memo went out to Chipotle employees

(05:54):
that said if you see people coming in and taking out their
phone and, like, recording you dumping the thing, yeah, loaded
up. And that really rubs me the
wrong way. Not from Chipotle, from human
beings. I've never been more embarrassed

(06:14):
to be a human being. Right.
The fact that you're using your cell phone like a gun.
Yeah, being held at gunpoint to get.
Bigger portions at a a restaurant.
If you don't like it, don't pay for it.
Right. Just go.
Just yeah. Like I was hearing on something
this morning, a podcast this morning about how they were

(06:36):
talking about this a little bit,but then they were talking about
how like McDonald's, McDonald's,the prices are crazy.
A Big Mac combo now costs as much as a burger does at a sit
down restaurant. OK.
Then don't eat McDonald's, yeah?I get it, everything is more
expensive right now and it sucks.

(06:57):
That is true. But you don't have to go to
McDonald's. Like you have the power to go to
the sit down restaurant instead.Or go to the grocery store.
Or go to the grocery store. Yeah, that shit just annoys the
shit out of me. Imagine if we were at Chipotle
and I pulled my phone out and started doing that.

(07:18):
Would you disown? Me.
I would be mortified. I would act like I didn't know
you. Turn to ash.
But that's our MO in general. Like if we go into a store and
it's a bad experience or somebody stresses us out, we
either never come back or we literally don't buy the thing
that we're there to get. I understand wanting to get bang

(07:39):
for your buck, but at what cost?That's what exactly.
And also I'm not trying to like this isn't a body shaming
comment. America has crazy portions, like
we don't really need the bowl that full.
No, like it's just because they used to have it.

(08:00):
And it's because people are saying, well, if I'm paying $15
I want this amount of Oz of meator whatever.
But it's like if you're having lunch like you don't need the
bowl to weigh 3 lbs. No.
Have you ever finished a Chipotle bowl?
Even now? No.
Barely. Maybe once.
Maybe if I like didn't eat all day, but it's a lot.

(08:23):
I just don't understand it, and in general, it's a thing I don't
like. There's those shows that we've
talked about before where it's all like cell phone videos and
Ring doorbell videos and all that stuff.
And I just hate now, and I get it, it's part of culture, but I
hate now how when something bad is happening, the first thing
people do is take out their cellphone and like point at

(08:44):
somebody's face like you're threatening them.
It's like, OK, I don't everybodychill out.
Yeah. I was I was listening to or I
guess watching this TikTok of for whatever reason this week
like self help people have been coming up and motivational

(09:04):
speakers don't know why. And this one guy said basically
no kid should have a cell phone until they are like 14.
And if you must give them one, it should be a flip phone so you
can call and get a hold of them,which they do still exist.
You can get simple phones like. That when I was 15 or something.

(09:27):
Yeah, I was 15 too, and it was just a flip phone and my dad
turned off the texting, like made it illegal on our AT&T
plan. So I didn't have texting until
my second year of college, I don't think.
I think I had Facebook Messengeron my phone before texting.
God. But then he said like, no kid

(09:49):
should have social media before 16.
And for the longest time, I feellike I was kind of like
helicopter parenting and whatever.
And I think that's right. Yeah.
'Cause this type of shit you're only going to make Chipotle
shamers. But then if you are the one
parent that does have your kid not have a cell phone or

(10:10):
whatever, or not have Instagram until they're 16, then you're
making like a pariah weirdo, right?
So you're fucked either way, 'cause if you're the one person
in your school that doesn't haveInstagram, you're going to tell
me if that's going to go over well, yeah.
Right, so and OK, so it literally came up in therapy for

(10:32):
me this week. This it did because.
What are you using your time for?
It was towards the end of. I know it was towards.
You're venting about Chipotle and therapy, no?
No, no, not Chipotle didn't comeup in therapy.
Oh well, this. Is kids, like sometimes kids
will come up in therapy and I, you know, I'll say about like
how we don't want them and things like that.

(10:55):
And I was saying today, it was like 60 seconds.
I didn't spend too much time on it, but I was I was wearing my
Mr. Roger shirt and she commented on it at the end of
our session. I don't think I was paying for
this time. I love that that she at least
acknowledged it. Yeah, but I told her, like a lot
of people, I think the judgment over time for us not wanting

(11:18):
kids has gone down significantly, which is great.
But I do think. Shouted it from the rooftops at
such a decibel that people have.They believe us.
They're tired of talking about it to us, yeah.
That's and that's. Fine.
So I think that could be it. But yeah, go on.
But I was telling her, like, a lot of people think it's because
we hate them. And, yeah, we do not like a lot

(11:39):
of children and all the things, but this is a big part of it.
Yeah. Like, I don't like, like, I
would know how to handle that. Like we would know what to do
with that. Right.
Hell now. The goal I think would be to
have a well adjusted kid that's like able to handle Instagram
and stuff without being off the deep end.

(12:02):
But. What are the chances of that
happening? Or like turn, you know, on
Instagram, you can turn time notifications on or like you can
lock yourself out of the app after like an hour of screen
time or something like those types of things you would need
to use probably. But.
Anyway. Good thing I never have to worry
about it. It's true, Chipotle.

(12:25):
I do think, though, that a lot of us millennials have chosen
to. But what did you say in therapy?
You like kind of said that and then.
Mr. Rogers shirt Oh, Mr. Rogers is great, therapist says.
I wish there was somebody for children like Mr. Rogers now in
2024 for kids. And I say yes, it's a scary

(12:48):
world out there. Yeah, a lot of people judge us
for having, not wanting to have kids.
That's a big reason why 'cause it's scary out there.
And I don't know what to do. Sure.
So now you're being judgmental about my therapies.
No, no, no. It should be whatever.
I If I wanna talk about Mr. Rogers for an hour, you could so
be it. I'm just saying, I don't even

(13:09):
think that crosses my mind as a reason to not want kids.
I don't. Yeah, that would be a huge thing
to traverse if we had one, but it's not a reason that I take
into account to not have one. OK, it is for me for sure.
OK, it's a side effect of wow, yeah, that would also suck, but

(13:34):
for it doesn't even come on to my list.
I just think, I think about it and I think I would just flip
flop the rules. Yeah, I'd be, I'd wake up on a
Wednesday and go. You shouldn't have social media
then on Thursday. Oh well.
Well, you're kind of a fucking weirdo.
Yeah, your friends think you're odd.
Maybe you should have it. And then on Friday, No, this is
a bad. Delete your account.
You know, like I would be so inconsistent as a parent.

(13:56):
Holy shit, I'd be the worst. Yeah, I I think I'm realizing
that the older I get. Yeah.
Anyway, this is not a Jude, but we need to talk about it.
Yeah, what happened? Search the joint chiropractic.

(14:16):
Oh fuck. Valencia, CA.
And see what fucking comes up. Headlines Baby Headlines
scandal. Sex scandal.
Poop scandal. Bathroom not what you think.
Variety scandal. There was a hidden camera.

(14:38):
Uh oh. Planted in the bathroom?
Yikes. In our chiropractor's office.
Whoa, they've seen our butts. They.
Have absolutely seen our butts. Holy shit.
We both use the bathroom. There's a one.
It's a one person, one stall situation.
There's no stalls. It's a one person thing.
There was a hidden camera. They found it.

(14:58):
Breaking news. One of the people that the front
desk attendant found it. Yeah.
You might be asking yourself, have you gone back?
Yes, I have. And this is what I was going to
bring up. Like is it bad that that we have
gone back? Here's the thing, I don't think
anyone that works there planted it.

(15:19):
I think it was some random fucking person that gets
adjusted there and they don't dolike background checks on who
gets adjusted there. You know what I mean?
Here's here's my theories. Could happen anywhere.
It's a It was a pretty obvious camera from the photos and
videos of the camera. I don't think it was there very

(15:40):
long because I think that the employees would have seen it
very quickly. I agree.
It did have a power bank attached to it to keep it going,
so I don't know. But how long does that last?
I don't know. So I assume they caught it
pretty quickly 'cause they pee there every day and you notice

(16:00):
if something's different in front of you when you're sitting
on the toilet. My question is this, do we think
they've tracked the person down?Because somebody would
inevitably be visiting the bathroom often to make sure the
camera's still charge or pullingfootage from it or whatever.
Or they just have like a weekly or twice weekly adjustment
schedule and it doesn't seem weird at all.

(16:21):
Yeah, maybe it doesn't. I don't know.
I definitely think it was a client.
Like there were people in the comments section on the WhatsApp
SCV page being like, it was definitely so one of the fucking
staff. And it's like what?
Yeah. Why would then the staff have
reported it first of? All, I mean, I guess it's

(16:42):
possible that a different staff member than the person that
reported it, but there's also like three people that worked.
There there's like, yeah, there's really, right.
I feel like it's a customer. Right.
But. Aren't the odds in the favor of,
I don't know, the hundreds of people that visited a week?
Yeah. Yeah.

(17:03):
That you don't know. That you have no that the only
thing everyone has in common is that they're getting their spine
realigned and like fucking freaks wanna get cracked too.
So it's like, clearly it was some rando, but I did go back
and I wanted to dig into the teeso bad.

(17:24):
But the guy that I'm closest with I keep not like I don't
know where he is. That I'm wondering if this has
something to do with it. Do you think the leave of
absence is 'cause he's uncomfortable or he doesn't want
to talk to people? I think he probably doesn't want
to associate with it and or talkto people about it.
Scandal. Yeah, 'cause he's professional.

(17:44):
Unless he planted it. Yeah, No.
I would hope not, honey. That would be severely
disappointing. No, I think, well, yeah, I'm
pretty sure it's that he's so professional, he doesn't want to
associate with that headline. So he's like, bye.
I have a question. This is I'm not victim shaming.

(18:07):
I make that very clear. I understand how this is
violating 100%. It's creepy, yes.
That being said, I'm I'm kind ofin a mental place in 2024 that
I'm always being recorded no matter where I'm at.

(18:31):
That would creep me out a littlebit.
But I think even when I'm in a bathroom by myself, I'm like,
I'm sure there's cameras in here.
I'm not. It's not to excuse it by any
means, I just think it's like there's cameras all over the
place. This is crazy.
I guess I just, I'm like, I don't know, 'cause we very well

(18:57):
could have been recorded going to the bathroom, but like,
congratulations. Like what?
I'm me going to the bathroom's pretty boring.
Yeah. And like depending on the angle
of the camera, you may not have seen anything.
Yeah. I don't know.
I'm not trying, right? We can't.

(19:18):
Not victim shaming. Or you're.
Minimizing, not minimizing. You are minimizing.
I don't think that I. Am you can't say no offense and
then say something offensive. You can't say I'm not minimizing
and then go whatever. There's no, I didn't say no, no,
no, no. Let me clarify this because I
didn't say it's not that big of a deal.
You shouldn't be weirded out 'cause there's cameras

(19:39):
everywhere. I'm saying I understand why it's
weird and people are creeped outand I am too.
I just always assume there's cameras on me at any given time
and it's weird. OK.
Like even when I'm pumping gas, I'm like, there's a camera on
me. When I'm in the bathroom at

(20:02):
work, I'm like, I'm sure there's.
Cameras, but it's about intention because this person
put the camera there to for someweird like probably sexual
reason. 100% and it's very. The people at the gas station
aren't watching you pump gas andbeing like, wow, that's hot.
You've never seen me pump gas. I know what you mean.
And and it's it's just, I don't know.

(20:24):
But I did go back to the chiropractor and I am not gonna
lie to you, I had to pee so bad.Did you check?
I didn't go in there. OK, I went.
I get that to HomeGoods and Peed.
And found a camera at home. No, but I was like it's too

(20:45):
weird. Yeah.
It's too weird to be like la de da de da.
Like I've seen the headlines. I almost wonder too if like if
you asked, is there a key I forget.
No. Oh.
OK, never mind, just 'cause I could see you asking for the key
and then being like, yeah. Here you go at your own risk.
Yeah, so weird though. We were almost the news story.

(21:09):
Yeah. It's crazy.
We could have been interviewed on the news.
That would have been so exciting.
That is one of my goals in life.I'm not gonna lie where it just,
says Cameron resident. Yeah, Santa Clarita resident.
Yeah. Joint chiropractor patient.
Yeah. Because that, that is always the

(21:31):
interview. It's like, oh, was this a person
affected by it? No, but they go there.
Yeah. They happened to be here when we
pulled up. Was this person is this the
house that was robbed? No, but the neighbor 3 Doors
Down is talking about how scary it must have been.
That's that's literally the news.
They're. A person with a pulse that
happened to be here when we pulled up.

(21:55):
We had a a critter. A scare.
In our backyard. So I've been trying to be Snow
White and get my raccoons and myhummingbirds and my lizards.
You've been taking care of it. I've been doing pretty good and
you ran into the house while I was showering and you were like,

(22:16):
get out here, we've got a possum.
Yeah, a possum friend. And I jumped with Glee out of
the shower, wet hair and a towel, ready to meet my friend.
Literally. And you were like, we got to get
him. He's hiding behind the chlorine
tablets. We got to guide him out of the

(22:37):
yard gently into the wild so that our dogs don't try to eat
him. Yeah, 'cause that was my fear.
I didn't want the dogs to come out.
They're sniffing around 'cause they're still adjusting.
And I was exhilarated to go meethim and we saw his fuzzy little
butt in his little tail. And it was a baby for sure.

(22:57):
Because I've looked up the size now since then of adult possums.
They're. Huge.
They're fucking bigger than raccoons.
They're, yeah, they're like, they're, they're like the size
of like a dachshund. Yeah, yeah, at least they're
big. So this was for sure a baby.
It was definitely the size of like a rat.

(23:18):
Yeah. And he had squinty little eyes.
Tiny little ears. And things went horribly wrong,
you could say. You ate him.
No, we moved with the chlorine bin and turns out he was injured
and I started sobbing. To be fair, I I didn't, I didn't

(23:38):
really know that ahead of time, otherwise I would have just
handled it. But.
What would you have done to handle it?
What does that mean? Like a.
Take Me Out back. No.
Yeah, I would have. Just handle what does handle it.
No, I mean, like I would have told you there's a little
injured guy outside to try to protect you from it 'cause it's,
it was. It was.

(23:59):
It was. Weirdly emotional, I have to
say. And so he had a giant gash in
his back and like some raccoon attacked him or something.
And so then I'm crying and I'm like, well, if he's dying, it's
his last moments. He was like looking up at us,
but he wasn't moving like a fucking possum.
We're standing next to it and it's not gonna scurry away like

(24:21):
it's can't. Move.
It's sad. Yeah, he was looking.
Up at us. It was so sad.
He was like having labored breathing.
I was like, he's dying. It's his last moments.
Oh my God. So I go in the house and I get a
can of cat food and a little dish of water and a little rag.
And I put the cat food next to him and the water next to him.

(24:44):
And then I covered him with the little rag like a blanket.
And he let me do it all. And he snubbed his nose a little
bit at the food, which was pretty offensive, 'cause I'm
like, you're literally dying. And you?
Go shit this cat food. We got it from Costco.
It's the ground. But then we're like crying and
I'm like, I don't know, like if he's having his last breath,

(25:06):
like we're scaring him. Let's give him some space.
And then he like scooched himself a little further behind,
like our outdoor shed. And anyways, and then I'm like,
well, what if you, you checked on him like 15 minutes later and
he was still alive. And I'm like, OK, wait, he's
alive. So we gotta get him help.

(25:27):
So then I called a shelter. I googled, what do you do?
How do you save a like, who saves possums?
Because I didn't want to call like the roadkill people.
And I don't want to be morbid, but let's say he things went SI
also don't know what to do in that situation.
And I'm not gonna throw a dead animal in our trash can, you

(25:50):
know, like, I mean. I think you call like Rd. kill
people like they have people that come get carcasses.
I've never experienced that. Well, I didn't want to call them
because he's still alive and I don't want them just hit him
with a shovel and like, be like,oh, OK, right.
So then I called the local shelter and they connected me.
Apparently there's a possum society and I was like, we got

(26:11):
an injured one in our backyard and I stayed on hold for fucking
ever. And then I gave them our address
and I could tell that the lady on the phone, the lady on the
phone didn't seem to be part of the possum society.
She was just like routing my call.
She was passing judgment for. Sure, a little bit.
She was giving a little bit of like, what is it?
And I was like a possum. Anything.

(26:36):
Yeah, like if we were making eyecontact, I would do like a no
blink stare like and and then she said, OK, we're sending
someone out and then hung up before I could say is there a
time frame because I had a show I needed to drive to.
Today. And she didn't seem as though

(26:59):
she'd like, put a rush on it, you know?
And then an hour goes by and I call back and it's a different
lady. And she looks up her address and
she's like, oh, we have someone in route.
Non specific route time. From Mars.
From San. Diego So I was getting ready for

(27:19):
the show. You said that a guy pulled up in
a truck and was very sweet. He was a very sweet person.
He was, and he picked him up with gloves.
Picked him up with gloves, put him in the nice container was
like really checking him out seemed to think that he was
going to pull through gently puthim into the truck.

(27:40):
No sign of like we're going to take care of him by taking care
of him, you know, like so I was very happy we're.
Going to give him like maybe some painkillers or something to
get better. Seemed like that they get a lot
of calls about possums. Yeah, and you said he asked if
he was playing possum. Because I guess a lot of them,
if they see a human, will act like they're dead so that you

(28:02):
don't bother them for a minute and they can get away or do
whatever. It's kind of their strategery.
By the way, we told a friend about this story and there were
other people around and they were all acting like possums are
disgusting. This little guy very cute.
Very cute. He had a little wiggly nose.

(28:25):
Looked kind of similar to one ofour dogs.
Really. Yeah, and he was just shaking
and he needed help. And we think we're going with
the narrative that he's thrivingnow and he's still alive.
Yeah, I think so. I honestly think so, because it
wasn't like a deep, deep, deep injury.
Yeah, I think he was just going through it.
I thought about that. I told you animals don't have.

(28:49):
They don't have. Painkillers like, how weird is
that? You said.
It doesn't work anyways. I know, but even even like old
school medicine techniques that supposedly worked, they don't
know how to do that either. Yeah.
You know, they might rub some dirt in it literally, or that's
or they just kind of wait to seewhat happens.

(29:10):
That's that's crazy to think about.
They just, yeah, they just have to live through it.
Isn't that weird? But they don't know a life where
it would feel better. So like.
I know that kind of sucks and I haven't.
I have one more question about this.
Is it Opossum or possum? So it's either we were I

(29:33):
consulted someone about this, you did and they said it's
either are technically correct because they play Scrabble and
they've googled this before. Possum or Opossum.
OK, thank you. Are either is acceptable?
Good, that's how it should be. Both the formal and also like
conversational possum vernacular.

(29:54):
Yep, I say possum because an Opossum sounds.
I've never understood if you're supposed to pronounce the O like
Opossum. I think biblically yes, but
modern day no. So, you know, I just hope that
the next, you know, critter we find in our yard is very much

(30:19):
alive. I think so.
And thriving. And want.
And domesticated. I think that the I think we both
handle the situation pretty well.
That being said, surprise animalencounters.
Not my thing. Did you yell?
I didn't, but I instantly my skin crawls.

(30:43):
I can't describe it. It's you remember when we were
in? I wanna say, Austin, we were
walking along the sidewalk talking and there was a dead
bird on the sidewalk and I accidentally kicked it.
That feeling. Radiates through your body.
It I don't feel it any other time in my life I don't know how

(31:06):
to describe. It I don't think that people get
a kicking a dead bird feeling many other times.
Well, no, but I'm saying like the level of uncomfort I never.
It's a very unique sensation that.
The possum tail was a rat. At first I did and what were
your thoughts on the rat? But when you really.
Yes honey, I don't even talking about it chills up my spine.

(31:34):
How is a rat big booty and tail different than a possum booty?
It is. Mice are worse 'cause they're
smaller and more inconspicuous. The worst are snakes.
We have quite the opposite list,which we've been over before.
Yeah, and when I was a kid I I found them all the time.
Surprise toad encounters, like big ass toads.

(31:58):
Surprise raccoon encounters happened all the time.
I opened a trash can when I was a kid and there was a raccoon
inside of it that act like it was going to leap on my.
Face that's so fun. A surprise raccoon.
That was kind of like this situation because he got caught
in there and didn't know how to get out and I panicked and

(32:18):
closed the lid and then went back like 3 minutes later
because I couldn't live with that obviously.
Opened the lid, put some food out, let him out.
He slowly crawled out because hewasn't sure what I was going to
do. And then he looked at me.
He like took a couple of drinks of water, looked at me like
cheers and then took off. Still freaked me out.

(32:42):
Just because you open a trash can and there's one in there,
you're like, oh fuck, you know? That's something I haven't
considered is toads. I'm so excited.
Do you think we'll get some? No, not here.
Why 'cause they like moist environments and this is not
one. We have water.
Yeah, well, used to get Oh my God in Missouri, frogs all over

(33:04):
the place. I love a frog.
It's like the dam what what's inwhat is in the Bible plague.
The reckoning. You know, when like Moses and
the Egyptians and everything. Now there's fucking cicadas.
I'd kill my. God, oh, I'd kill myself, Jill.
I know. I saw a video today.
Holy shit. Yeah, it's like literally end of

(33:25):
times. I remember it when we were kids.
I don't, I don't remember anything like that.
I remember hearing them in the trees.
I. I I know the sound of them I've
never had. I've never looked at a wall on a
building and it's just covered. I saw that video.
Too. I've never had to walk from my
car to my home with a bag on my head crying.

(33:48):
I did when we were kids. There was a couple weeks where
it happened and it was horrifying.
You know when playgrounds used to have pea gravel, you couldn't
see the gravel. Oh.
Fuck. And kids thought it was funny to
go up. Like if you're talking and
you're near a tree and they go and shake the tree and they just
all and it's like it's biblical.It's crazy.

(34:10):
Oh. God I would I'm not kidding you.
Like at least leave the state inin Airbnb for like a month.
I don't blame you. It's the worst.
It's the it's three or four weeks.
Yeah. Yeah, or maybe six weeks.
I would literally leave. Yeah, so.
It's crazy. And like right now, if we were

(34:32):
recording the podcast in a in anarea where cicadas were like
popular. You would hear them on the.
Absolutely, yes, you could hear that the windows in our house
are closed, you would hear. Them weirdly, the sound of them
doesn't bother me because I I associate that with like summers
and whatever like the outdoor sounds kind of not soothing.

(34:57):
That's it. I wouldn't.
Well. No, I know what you mean.
It's kind of like hearing the crickets at night.
Yeah, Yeah. But God, my God, and they
believe. I've eaten one.
Supposedly dumb, right? They just like, fly at your
head. I mean, they're like flies.
They like can't see. Yeah, yeah.
And you you ate a whole one or you bit one?

(35:20):
I ate a whole one not it was covered in chocolate so it's
kind of a cheat but. A whole one.
Do not recommend. Gross.
Do not recommend. Yeah.
But yeah, I'm glad we don't. My parents are in that right

(35:40):
now. They've been having a shit time.
It's cicadas, and there's tornadoes happening in the
Midwest all over the place rightnow, and hail and hail.
So what's the deal with like? Are they gonna be done in July?
They're gonna be done by I thinknext week or like week after.
But they live it's. I don't understand how this is.

(36:02):
Possible they live underground. They live underground for 17
years, so. Whatever it is, are they all
gonna die next week or what's? How do no they come out to
populate? They go back.
And then they all go back underground.
There's gonna be a decent amountof dead.
One so this is just a fuck fast.Yeah, it's a big cicada orgy.

(36:26):
And then they go back underground.
Yeah, not wild. Why can't they just mate
underground? That's what I'm saying.
Just stay under there. God this sucks.
So when you see the occasional spider or a possum.
In our house, I have another question that maybe we could ask
Alexa. OK.

(36:48):
I'm I'm listening. Spiders or whatever eat thing
like people say they're necessary 'cause they eat
mosquito isn't? Do they say that spiders eat
bugs? No, no.
What? What are they good for?
Maybe they no they. Yeah, maybe.
Yeah they do. No, they they catch like gnats
and flies. Anyways, everything supposedly

(37:12):
has a purpose. What's the fucking purpose of a
cicada? Like what is their purpose in
the food chain? I don't know Alexa, what is the
purpose of a cicada in the food chain?

(37:35):
They serve as food for predatorssuch as birds and other animals.
They feed on the SAP taken from plant roots while rating for the
right moment to dig tunnels to bring them back to the surface.
So that really doesn't. So they're fucking like kibble
for other animals. Well, that's what they say that
like that. If we're worried about food

(37:58):
supplies and all that, the most sustainable source of protein is
insects. And I'm gonna be hopefully dead
by then. So there's gonna be some
influencer on TikTok that's making like, cicada protein.
Bars. Oh yeah, those already exist.
I mean, you can go to. There's all kinds of chips that
exist that are bug based. Yeah, but not Cicada.

(38:21):
Based. Yeah.
No, they have them. Are you fucking kidding me?
No, I hate it here. Oh my God.
You hate it on the planet. Yeah, OK.
Fair enough. Like fuck.
Off. I'll starve before you get into
Jude. This isn't quite a Jude.

(38:44):
And we have questions. Oh, right, wait, let's do that.
We have like a whole thing. Sorry, I forgot to write that
down. What was your question?
What we've been. Moving and we have had a ton of
boxes just so many boxes the most of any move ever maybe on

(39:08):
the planet because here's the thing like we live in a world
where boxes are a regular thing because of Amazon and I still
don't understand how that's. What do regular fucking people
do with boxes? They break them down and put
them in the recycling bin or burn.
Them at this scale. That I don't know, because we

(39:30):
had moving boxes and then we have, you know, ordered a bunch
of things for the house. Small things, big things, you
name it. They all come in fucking boxes.
We ordered shower rods, shower rods that are what, 4 1/2 feet
long and they came in refrigerator boxes essentially

(39:50):
individually. They came in like a three by 5
box. It was insane.
We picked up a cabinet the otherday that was in a gigantic box
that was inside of a box that was inside of another box.
Yeah, it. Was like one of those nesting
dolls and we thought we were done with it.
Some more stuff came in. We had gotten our cars detailed.

(40:11):
We were like no more of the dumping, no more of the loading
up, up the cars. And then we had turns out one
final trip. So we loaded everything in the
one car and I thought like, oh, I'll just dump the boxes legally
totally on my way home from work.
In a recycling bin. And so we just loaded it up,
left, went to work today. On Tuesdays, all the employees

(40:33):
at work have to be in the office, so it's very crowded.
So when that happens, they make you valet your car, 'cause
everybody's double parked. Hand the keys off today.
And the person was so taken aback by all of the boxes in the
car, 'cause I had the back loaded seats folded down, I had

(40:56):
three or four boxes in the frontseat.
And he's he like, I got out of the car and I saw him look in
and be like, oh, he even did like a, a OK.
And I'm like, OK, well, yeah. It's not a corner.

(41:16):
Maybe in the middle here. Yeah, I know like, but it's not
even like a bunch of sopping wetboxes that.
It's just an empty cardboard. Full of fucking cat piss and mud
or something. No, it's just empty cardboard.
Yeah. And I was so harshly judged, so
harshly judged and I was like, again, so thrown off by it.

(41:42):
But it made me feel very self-conscious.
I feel that way every single time I valet because I have a
Chevy Spark. It's small, it's beat up a
little. It's like scratch on the sides.
I rarely have it detailed. So the this is like the only
week of my life that I'm like. Yes, isn't it?
You like driving a Cadillac now?But I go to, you know, birthday

(42:04):
lunches or dinners for my friends in Hollywood, West
Hollywood, like Manhattan Beach,like these places.
And there there's valet service.And I'm like, oh, I, I'm
embarrassed every time I drive around looking for a meter every
time just in case so I don't have to hand my keys to someone.
It's so embarrassing to me. I get it.

(42:26):
I don't like even when my car isspotless, empty, Immaculate, I
don't like, I feel like I'm still being judged.
Yeah. It's like, oh, your car's
yellow. Oh, you have a spark that's kind
of small. Yeah.
You know what I mean. But it did make me think of an
idea, and it was kind of an ideathat I had a couple years ago

(42:50):
that somebody else stole. Great.
But I think this is a good one. There should be an Instagram
account dedicated to the inside of people's cars, good, bad and
otherwise, so could be run by valet people.
Every time you get in a car and move it, just take take a quick
picture, blur out all the personal details nobody has to

(43:11):
know. I feel like that's right up
there with the detailing videos,the the power washing videos.
It's like could be satisfying. Like Oh my God, look how clean
it is. And it also can be look how much
better my car looks than that car.
Right. So then we would not.
Yeah, you're right. And if it's a valet person then

(43:35):
but don't you think they could get sued?
Some, like person in a Ferrari sees their account one day and
like sues them just be. You have to just be very on top
of blurring things because if you do that then you go, there's
no proof this is your car. Right.
You know. What I mean?
Yeah, that's another really goodshow idea.
Thank you. The other idea I had a couple

(43:56):
years ago was if I every bathroom I ever use I take a
picture of the floor. What?
Mm hmm, you do this? I don't currently know.
Why? 'Cause all the floors are unique
and different and then somebody took that idea and it has a
couple million followers and by took the.

(44:17):
Idea. Or the bathroom aesthetic as a
whole. Like the whole bathroom?
Like the toilet? Of just the floor.
Just the floor. So every photo is you see their
feet and you see the floor. Is it a dude?
Is he at a urinal? No idea.
Oh yeah, we don't know. And by took the idea, I mean

(44:37):
they probably had it separately and then did it 'cause I'd think
the chances of them knowing thatI had the idea were pretty slim.
By the way, can you say that a word again?
Aesthetic. Say it one more time.
Honey, you say it. Aesthetic.
No, you're saying it wrong. Say it again.

(44:59):
Oh no it doesn't. Alexa Alexa pronounce aesthetic.
I pronounce that aesthetic, but I'm always working on how I.
Say things aesthetic no. She just said it to you.
I think the H is silent. Aesthetic.
It's like really bothering me. Oh my God.
It's like really hitting me deep.

(45:21):
Oh my God, one more time. You're wrong.
You say it, go. Aesthetic.
No, you're saying it like static.
Aesthetic. Aesthetic.
Wait one more time. Say it again.
No, I'm tired of saying. No, you have to.
I'm I'm busy. I'm tired of saying it.
No. Do it again.
No, please. Aesthetic.

(45:45):
Now I have Google. Say it.
That's what I'm doing. Hang on, I put.
It in here. Go ahead.
I love this guy, by the way, Julian Miguel, he just has, he
has 1.3 million followers and it's all him just saying how to
pronounce words. What a fucking genius.
Yeah, he's always like today is where is listen really good.
We are looking at how to pronounce this word in English.

(46:11):
How do you go about saying it? He doesn't say English.
In British English, it is pronounced as aesthetic as the
tech aesthetic. You do want to stress on the
second syllable, the syllable aesthetic.
Aesthetic. In American English, here we go.
It is usually pronounced as aesthetic.

(46:34):
Boom, aesthetic aesthetic. No, no, no.
Listen to it. Listen.
To it. It is usually pronounced as
aesthetic. Aesthetic.
Now he's. Saying aesthetic, you're.
Really lingering on the H that you go like aesthetic.
No, I don't. Like daffy doc.

(46:56):
In English, Who's from? I never felt better.
Listen to that wait. Listen to it.
Ready. It is usually pronounced
aesthetic. How do you not hear that
aesthetic? Did you get it?
Let me know in the comments. Oh my.
God, I will let you know. The comments videos on how to
pronounce the way I pronounce inEnglish, whose pronunciations

(47:17):
aren't exactly always be myself.Honey, you're so fucking.
Wrong aesthetic. Crazy.
He's literally saying it. It's like I'm hearing myself.
Aesthetic. Aesthetic.
No, you're that's not you're you're.
So I think the real, the truth is you're going.
To lose listeners because you. Keep fucking playing, we're

(47:38):
going to lose listeners. Was that an impression of
yourself saying aesthetic honey?I think the truth is it's in
between both of ours. No, I can't.
Wait, you're lingering way too much aesthetic.
I cannot fucking wait for peopleto DM us.
Yeah, please DM us. Fucking DM us, I can't fucking

(48:01):
wait. I'm going to show you how much
bitch you are, man. I can't fucking I'm so excited.
Everyone please DM and tell us who said it right and who's this
guy Julian? And tell us that Julian did in
fact say it exactly like me. Did you get it?

(48:25):
Yes. Let me know in the comments.
I will I. Don't know about how he.
Says aesthetic. You do want to stress on the
second syllable, the 2nd syllable syllable Aesthetic.
In American English it is usually pronounced as aesthetic
aesthetic. Boom.

(48:45):
American English. Why?
Because we live in America. In the comments.
Julian knows what's Up more videos on how to pronounce more
words in English. Aesthetic.
No, don't you hear yourself saying it's so different than?
Him. Here we go.
Wait. Let's let's let's consult one
more person. No, honey.
Come on. I'm sick of hearing.
It I that's why we're going to adifferent YouTube channel,

(49:07):
honey, we're going to consult this.
Lady, I also have questions about aesthetic.
I've never felt OK. But you, you know, you're
lingering on it. Listen to her say it aesthetic,
but it's aesthetic. You're going but.

(49:29):
That's wait, but that's not how you were saying it.
It's not aesthetic. It's not.
It's not quite how I said it, but it is.
It's more similar the way I was saying it than you.
No, Yeah, not even slightly, 'cause you're going, you're
holding on the too much aesthetic.
It's weird. You're saying it weird.
OK, I am so correct. I've never felt better.

(49:51):
And you went to two different Youtubes and both of them proved
that I'm correct. I also went to two different
universities and. I also.
Aesthetic. Well, mine were more Ivy League,
and by that I mean they weren't.My question is, does Julian
pronounce the other words he wassaying correct?

(50:12):
Yes, he just has an accent, but he's very good.
Listen, I'll I'll play another one of his.
Videos. No, I don't want to hear it.
No, it's going to be great. It's going to be great.
Let's see. He wants to.
I mean he has like billions of videos.
Billions. He does.
He posts like 18,000 a day. Here we go.
Here's a good one. You are looking at Julian's
pronunciation guide, where we look at how to pronounce better

(50:35):
some of the most mispronounced words in the world.
Like this other curious word. But how do you say what you're
looking for? Today we are looking at how to
pronounce the name of these delicious chicken dish, and
we'll be looking at how to say more food names that too many
people get wrong. Stay tuned.
There are two different ways of pronouncing it.

(50:55):
In British English, more in the UK it's generally said as
chicken satay was a stress on the 1st syllable of satay,
chicken satay, while in the US, in American English it's more
often said as chicken satay, chicken satay, and now you know.
Have that guy do audio books or something.
I could listen to that all day. I might fall asleep to that

(51:18):
tonight. God, he's a good one.
Just play the aesthetic one overand over again so you pronounce
it. Great.
Yeah, I really, I was on the money on that.
That's what I'll think. OK.
You had a video to play. Yeah, Before you get to that, I
have one to play. You what?
What's the what? I didn't know you had another

(51:38):
surprise video. Yeah, so you were talking a
couple weeks ago about the marriage is hard thing.
Yeah, go on, marriage is hard blah blah blah.
And then it was a TikTok trend and people would show their
husbands putting their shoes in weird places and.
And you did what? Argument last week on the pod,
yeah. This one I feel is very relevant
since we moved OK, and is from our close personal friend Wells

(52:02):
Adams, oh, who was who's marriedto Sarah Hyland.
Sarah Hyland, who he himself wasin the Bachelor franchise and
Bachelor in Paradise. He's and all that stuff.
Former radio DJ. He did one of his own.
OK this and please explain to mewhat you mean by marriage is
hard. What?

(52:29):
I can't hear you that. That's why it's hard.
It's nothing but your spouse trying to talk to you from a
different room and you can't hear anything.
Yeah. I struggle with hearing things

(52:51):
to begin with, to be fair. It's been really hard on me, I
think. Has it?
Yeah. It's been hard on me too.
Honestly, I just give up talkingto you.
Yeah, we haven't talked since 95.
I just don't. I try and then it's like you
don't even. But here's what will happen.
There are a lot of times when I'm literally this distance from

(53:13):
you. And in those moments, I get it.
The moments where I'm like, why did you reasonably think if I
had supersonic hearing, I could even hear you when you're in a
closed room 1000 feet away from me and I'm by an air conditioner
that's going into my ears. But anyway, I thought that was a

(53:34):
relevant one. Yeah.
Yeah. What's your thing?
Do you have it? Yeah.
Try to just play it out of the gate.
Yeah, it's just this girl that asks questions.
No, I do not have amnesia. No, we have not done this on the
podcast before. She does the last question in
her video we have answered before.
It's like the one where it's if your fingers each had a liquid

(53:56):
coming out of them, if they wereeach taps like spouts of a
liquid, what would you have? So it's questions like that.
We've already answered the five.What's your answer to that one?
I forget. I don't remember what mine was,
it was like water gas. Gasoline, you know, that would

(54:20):
be a that's a good one. Yeah, right.
Yeah, I wouldn't. I didn't even think about going
that route. Yeah, 'cause it could be any
liquid. I would probably say water,
gasoline, Diet Coke, Diet. Coke makes your.
Top five? Yes, absolutely.
Wine and tequila. I would say coffee.

(54:42):
Yeah, I haven't drank coffee in almost a year now.
Oh. So I think formally that would
definitely make my list anyway. OK, so 5.
She has four other questions. OK.
Here's five questions you shouldstart asking people in your life
for more interesting conversations.
Why you should trust me on this?Hello, my name is Kirsay.

(55:04):
I have ADHD and I ask an absurd amount of questions.
I also have a questions list with my best friend of like 500
plus weird. Interesting question.
You have a 500 question list that is impressive.
Jen's. Task people, whether it's and
when you're dating a family member at a dinner party, he's
range so got a little bit of everything.
OK so #1 if you had to wash yourbrain, would you use hot or cold

(55:26):
water? I love this.
OK. If you had to wash your brain,
would you use hot or cold water?I got to be honest with you,
though, and I think these thingsare fun, but the way she was
setting it up was like, you know, here's how you can have a
conversation with somebody instead of just doing the like,
how are you? Yeah.
I feel like if you came out of the gate with, would you rather

(55:48):
wash your brain with how to curlwater?
Like, OK, hot or cold? What?
How dare you? Those were were.
You put both on your brain. What's your, what's your answer?
Hot. Yeah, hot for sure.
Because it seems relaxing. How hot though?
Like, just like a hot shower. That that sounds amazing.

(56:12):
On your brain. Who the fuck would say cold?
She does. It's one when you're just
getting to know someone or even like on a dating app because it
kind of gives, I don't know, an interesting vibe because for me,
I'm like, Oh my God, my brain islike running at Max speed all
the time. It needs to cool down.
I would love like an ice bath like she's saying it needs.
To cool down, mine is. I honestly question my entire

(56:33):
existence, OK. #2 mine. My thing is, my brain's running
on OverDrive a lot too, but it needs to relax.
Yeah, the cold is not relaxing. In like a hot tub for my brain.
Having imagine at the end of thenight you got into a cold ice
bath, how relaxing it would. Be yeah, that's awful.

(56:54):
A little bit of a morality question.
If you walked out of a department store and
accidentally stole something, how expensive would that item
have to be for you to go back and pay for that item all.
Right, let's answer together 1-2, three, $10,000.
I would never willingly steal something of significance, that

(57:18):
being said. If.
I realized a fucking television was in my car.
I'd be like, well, whoops. I feel like I'd chalk it up to
this was a lucky accident and I don't feel wrong morally saying
that. If if it was like I accidentally
stole someone's kid or like I stole something from like a mom

(57:42):
and pop shop. I would say that would.
Be different if it yeah, if it was like.
That'd be. Different or like a consignment
store where it's like an heirloom of someone's, of
course. Sure, that's bad vibe.
If it's a $10,000 bracelet from Walmart, I'm fucking driving
home. The the bigger question there

(58:03):
is, are they even going to note us?
Probably not. The answer's no.
Does that make it right? I didn't say it makes it right,
but you know, I wouldn't feel guilty if it accidentally
happened and I made it home. I'd be like, Oh my God.
Well. That's a good question.
It I was meant to have this, I would just say it was meant to
have it. The next time we do a group
dinner, we should lead with thatwell and then cause an argument.

(58:26):
One are so fun. I've cried laughing at answers
to this one because some of themare so wild.
What was the hometown scandal ofyour childhood?
Oh. That's a good.
Town scandal. Everyone loves some local tea,
right? Do you have one?
I feel. Yeah.
Well, this was kind of like the scandal of my school.

(58:49):
Oh. Oh.
Not of my neighborhood. So we had this principal when I
was in 7th grade and he was like, everybody thought he was
so cool. And I know that the direction
that you think this is going, it's not going there.
He didn't sleep with a student, but he he was so cool.

(59:13):
Yeah, no, he was so cool. He was like so chill.
And everybody loved him. All the students loved him,
myself included. Seemed great, and for context
this was a private Lutheran grade school.
You're scaring me. Get to what He.
Did he cheated on his wife? Oh, and got fired.

(59:35):
Oh. And because of it.
How do How can you get fired forsomething in your personal life?
Because. It was with a teacher.
It was with the pastor. No, it was when you work at a
private school. If you don't conduct yourself
within the parameters of, in this case the religion, they

(59:55):
technically can get rid of you for.
That whole church and state thing.
Yeah, and so that was the talk of the school and church for
like a month. Wow.
Was just like, what are we gonnado, Mr. Haley?
He's like, I heard this. I heard that.
Oh, my God. Oh.
Scandal. And then my in 8th grade, my 6th

(01:00:19):
grade teacher became the principal for a year.
That sounds like a good idea. Why?
Why not it? Just seemed like they randomly
assigned somebody. Yeah, but she's very clearly
didn't want to do it. And it just seemed like they
were randomly assigning somebody, like Janitor.
What are you doing? Be the principal.
Anyway, What was the scandal in your neighborhood?

(01:00:40):
I don't know. I have to.
I'll have to ask my mom. I got to phone a friend.
I've not really plugged into thedrama.
Was it the Scranton Strangler? No.
Next question. Juicy and I find the smaller the
town people come from the Wilder.
That is that this is. Just like a fun pop culture one.
I've had this one it's like really fun to chat about at
dinner parties. If you could be any celebrity

(01:01:01):
sibling, who would it be and why?
This is one of my favorite questions to ask on dates.
I will always ask it because theads are always so.
Any celebrity's sibling? Mm Hmm.
Like, you know how like Frankie Grande, you know what I mean?
Like, he's cool, but he definitely gives.

(01:01:23):
Like I'm Ariana Grande's brother.
Complex energy. Same with Frankie Jonas.
Yeah. Oh God, what is it with the
Frankies? What's your answer?
OK. I'm still thinking of mine.
I'm just thinking of celebritiesI like a lot, so then it's like,
tough. Are you leaning male or female?

(01:01:48):
Oh, that's a good point. I was, I mean, I was just gonna
say, like Taylor Swift, it'd be so dope to be her sister.
But would it? Oh, 'cause she's like the
biggest person. You're living in her shadow
constantly. I just meant like, it'd be so
fun 'cause then we could just, like, travel the world and
whatever. Yeah, Yeah.
That's tough. That's the hard part of the

(01:02:08):
question, right? Do you pick someone that's like
AC less celeb? I kind of think so.
OK, Like who? Or do you pick someone like Drew
Carey? Drew Carey's a great answer.
That's such a good. Answer.
I'd be Drew Carey's sibling. Yeah.
I think that might be my answer.Well, you're welcome.

(01:02:31):
I got your answer for you. Thank you.
Do you wanna be Drew Carey's sister?
I don't really wanna be your sibling.
Yeah, Google was just talking downstairs.
What about? Me.
You have to answer. That I answered for you.
Who should I be a sibling of? You should be Ryan Reynolds
sister. That would be very fun.

(01:02:53):
Yeah, it'd be very fun. Feel like it you That would be a
good pairing. Yeah.
'Cause he is hilarious and he isa star, but he also doesn't
strike me as somebody who needs the spotlight all the time.
Yeah, you know. That's a good one.
Good job. We answered for each other.
That was good. I like stuff like that.

(01:03:13):
Those were pretty good. And the small town scandal one.
We gotta think of more. I'm sure that, yeah, I'm sure
that. I'm sure there's better ones
that I'm forgetting of forgetting about, but that's
gotta be one that has the best answers for sure, yeah.
Are you ready to do? I'm like, wait, was my family

(01:03:36):
the small town scandal? Do you get it?
Listen to me very carefully. I know everything and I'm
watching. Stop talk.
You're a moron. So you you are an example of why
people should have to take testsbefore they're allowed to have
children. Do you get?
It it's possible that we were the scandal.

(01:04:00):
Probably not. That's very common, you know.
Yeah, just like your principal. Well, that's different though.
Soar, soar. This one's gonna go out to the
motherfucking cats. I'm struggling to remember what
redeeming qualities cats have. Guys, I'm struggling.

(01:04:23):
What the fuck? My literal license plate to this
day says Cat Lady 'cause I'm toolazy to change it.
My Tinder profile said Cat lady for life said.
And now I am struggling to thinkof redeeming qualities for these
two fucking cats. You wanna know why?

(01:04:45):
Because we bought a house with not one speck of motherfucking
carpet K? So they wouldn't fucking puke or
pee in the wrong spot or what, Or claw or whatever.
So what happens? We buy a brand new cream couch

(01:05:06):
and we woke up to what looked like a massacre of vomit from
the fucking cats. Why are they throwing up, Katie?
Are you feeding them appropriately?
Yeah. They're they eat $70.00 a bag
cat food. It's a small bag too.

(01:05:27):
It doesn't last that long 'causethey fucking inhale it and they
have an Infinity feeder. So yeah, they're and they have a
fucking robot litter box. Yes, they're doing just fine.
They're puking because for once in our goddamn lives, we wanted

(01:05:48):
to have plants in our new house inside, and they started eating
the plants while we sleep at night.
And then instead of vomiting on our brand new hardwood plank,
whatever floor that's imperviousto you could.

(01:06:10):
It's vinyl planks. You could flood the house with
puke. You can shit on it, and I have.
You could have watery diarrhea on this floor and clean it up
like nothing ever happened. Truly.
You could projectile vomit, you could bleed you could bleed you.

(01:06:31):
Could kill somebody and get awaywith it.
On this floor, they could have puked anywhere and instead they
chose to put their fucking cat carcasses on our brand new cream
couch and puke all over it. But stopped there, right?
No. Oh, it kept going to the floor,

(01:06:54):
the rug. I hate them.
So we had to fucking start our day on Memorial Day weekend with
cleaning up puke. And then you went and got a
steam cleaner to steam clean ourbrand new couch.
Luckily, we had scotchguarded the couch, so big brains prevail

(01:07:22):
and steam cleaners and science prevail.
So our couch, if you're listening and you're our friend
and you might sit on this couch eventually, it's brand new
again. We've cleaned it.
It's been steamed, it's been cleaned.
It doesn't have remnants of anything on it.
But it was Hellfire to get through and such a lovely start

(01:07:44):
to our Sunday morning. Lovely.
All right, judgment to the plaintiff.
They better wrap up their puke bag bodies or they're gonna get
something shoved up their ass. Do you?
Get it? It is true though.

(01:08:05):
Like to be clear, we don't want any harm to become of them.
We don't want we've committed tothem, right?
Yeah, we're. That being said, they're puking
on everything currently. They're scratching everything
currently. What are we doing?

(01:08:28):
That's why we can't have nice things.
They're eating our fucking plants.
Like we moved into a new beautiful house and they're just
taking the goddamn shit on my face.
Which is on the floor. Why?
Because the floor is indestructible.
That'll be OK, right? Yeah, I just, I don't know, this

(01:08:52):
has been a long one and I want to apologize for our 10 minute
interlude where we said the wordaesthetic like 79 times if
anyone wants to count how many times we said it.
So sorry. You're apologizing for possibly
the most relatable thing we've ever done.

(01:09:13):
If I just am trying to think of it from a third person
perspective and like I hated being part of it, you know what
I mean? But people will choose sides.
And please, please DM us whose side you're on.
Yeah, is. It mine.
I need this. Or is it yours would you say is
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(01:09:37):
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