Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, imagine that, two millennials doing a podcast to
avoid legalizing the purge. Yeah, probably because they
can't afford therapy. This is mostly true opinions.
And it is mostly true opinions. We are back.
(00:23):
Hi. Hello.
Wow, I am Cameron. That is Katy K comedy My wife
and yeah, how are you? Hello.
Hi, wow, I'm OK. I you know, we've moved and
we've been thriving in our new place and trying to unpack
slash. I've been gone constantly for
(00:43):
shows still so it's a slow process but I did find out my
whole life is a lie. What do you mean?
I went, is this where you like say, oh, I remember, I've been,
I have a second family. No, I did.
What did I? I don't know.
I think it was around when I went to the doctor for stress
(01:06):
hives. They measured me.
Something happened where I got measured.
And I have spent how many years,decades really, telling people
that I'm 510 because I literallythought I was.
I feel like when we first started dating you said it a
(01:26):
lot. I used to be 510.
I always kind of internalized it, so I feel the same way. 5-10
If somebody were to ask me on the street how tall is Katie, my
answer would be. Fighting all of my stand up bits
yeah I my drivers license says 510 yeah my la casting my I need
to change that you know could itcould change someone's decision
(01:49):
could. Be in a lot of legal trouble.
No, but I was measured and I'm 59.
You guys, I'm 59. Woo.
Now how does that make you feel?I just wish I would have known
this and I wish I would have known so much sooner in my life.
I would have felt so petite, so small.
I would have felt so. It would have meant a lot to.
(02:10):
Me. See.
OK, but I think there's a lessonin this.
You have to give yourself value and not base it on somebody
else's arbitrary. No, it's not on someone else's
arbitrary whatever. It's about how I felt 59.
Right, that you could have felt small and petite even at 5:10.
(02:32):
No, there's that's like 5-10 is such a threshold because then
you hit double digit inches likeyou know what I mean?
The 51059 is still like oh what an average size lady you are.
510 starts getting tree like. OK, that's it's a bit much.
(02:55):
OK, well that I was 510 when I was 13, so everyone says you can
shrink whatever. I'm like, is it my scoliosis?
Like is that why I shrunk? No, apparently it's just gravity
and being alive on the Earth. So now I feel old, but
apparently you can shrink, and you shrunk too.
(03:15):
We measured you. Yeah, I don't.
I'm not really. I don't really.
I don't love that you shrank. Thanks.
Why? Because it makes me feel less
small, less petite. Oh, who cares?
I don't. I'm I'm.
I've always thought that I was 6foot tall and we measured at
(03:37):
home but it but it's just like wait I.
Thought you said on your licenseit says 6/1.
I think it might say 6-1, but I don't remember.
I didn't. I never put that down.
Wait, I. Thought you were saying you were
61 and we measured in your 6 foot.
No, I think I'm 6. I I think I'm 511 when we
(03:58):
measured it. But I also don't think that's
necessarily true. We.
Used a tape measure and it's imperfect because it wiggles
around and also like I could go to the doctor tomorrow and they
say it's I'm 62 because I'm getting measured at 8:00 AM or
something. One inch is variable.
(04:19):
It's not like your height is fluid.
You. Know what?
I'm saying yes, it is your spine.
If if I went into the doctor, myskeleton tomorrow my.
Skeleton. If I went into the doctor
tomorrow and they said you've dropped 6 inches, that's a
different story. One inch is there's a standard
(04:40):
deviation. No.
Yes, because one inch, honey. Facts.
No, it's normal for height to fluctuate 1/4 of an inch, Sure
'cause that's your discs in yourspine I suppose.
Compressing right throughout theday.
Not a full ass inch. Your skeleton.
(05:01):
You're not getting what I'm saying though.
Oh my God, you keep talking overme.
You keep talking over me. No, yes, I'm going to Google it.
No, you can't. Google using the thing that's
also your microphone right now. I have to, I can't Google.
No, it's going to sound like it's.
(05:22):
For effect, is it normal for height to fluctuate day-to-day?
OK, yes, it's normal for your height to fluctuate slightly
day-to-day due to spinal compression from gravity,
(05:45):
usually amounting to about half an inch or less.
Right, And is not cause for concern half an inch or less.
Right, so let me finish my point.
Half an inch. Is your actual height changing?
You have to also add into that the the method of being measured
(06:06):
is imperfect. So when you combine those two
things you could be 6 foot one at one place and five foot 11 in
the other. It it's red, alarm bells are
going off. If you go to the doctor today
and they say you're 6 two, and tomorrow you go and they say
you're 5 two, OK, that's a much different story.
(06:26):
Obviously it's not alarm bells, but it would have really changed
my own branding for my own self in my own head.
Did it really bother you that much?
Yes, that's so surprising to me.Why?
Because I feel like you've always owned your height and I
feel like you're a very normal height.
Thank you. Have I always owned it or have I
(06:48):
never once worn heels And I got a complex about not wearing
heels at our own wedding? I I guess I don't know.
And I literally have jokes aboutslouching to make other people
feel better. But this is also, don't you
think this is also like the partof everyone's human experience
(07:08):
is like, if you're short, you want to be tall.
If you have straight hair, you want curly hair.
You know what I mean? Yeah, of course.
I'm just saying that that one inch would have metal meant a
lot to 13 year old Katie, who is510 and taller than every boy in
school and every girl. I was just a fucking giraffe.
So I'm just saying I would have felt real good about it.
(07:31):
Now I. Guess you 33.
I'm happy to be 59. I'm coming to you.
Listen. Do I sound different?
Do I sound smaller? Do I sound frail and petite?
590 My God, I'm a whisperer. You could pick me up.
Anyone could. 59 Picture it now.But then, Oh my God, what?
(07:52):
My worst nightmare. I As we all have heard, I'm
running a half marathon and remains to be seen successfully
running how well that goes. But I wanted to get new shoes
because I'm spiraling and I was running in Nike Flyknits which
(08:13):
are glorified socks with with nolike cushy bottom at all.
And so I went to Roadrunner, theshoe store, and was looking for
specific, like Brooks running shoes that were recommended by
(08:34):
Google. And I go in and the guy goes,
oh, yeah, we do a complimentary foot assessment to figure out
which shoes best for you. And I was like, OK, sure.
Complimentary. Like what?
What do I need to do? And he tells me to take my shoes
off, get onto a treadmill that'sin the middle of the store where
(08:59):
people are shopping, and run barefoot while he takes a video
of Maine running. And he takes a video of my feet.
So he's squatting on the ground videoing my bare feet, running
on a treadmill in the middle of the store, and everyone else is
just shopping like normal and I'm running on this fucking
treadmill. It was a fucking night.
(09:20):
It was my nightmare. It was my nightmare.
Can I ask you a question? Sure.
Why don't they put this treadmill in the back?
Right, it's in the. Very middle or behind a curtain
or something, because that's it's like you're on display,
right? And then also what did he do
with the video? He like put it into a whatever
software to see where my gate isand where my where I'm landing
(09:44):
on my foot. So where did he take it from?
Like. Behind.
Me behind you. So again, very weird.
And then I had to stand on this other sensor so that, so then I
went and stood on this sensor. It was a whole fucking thing and
everyone's perceiving me running.
I don't want people to watch me run.
(10:04):
And if they are, they better be also running.
So they're not really taking me in, you know what I mean?
I don't want someone that's still looking at me run.
We've talked about this many times.
The you running thing. I don't know if I've ever asked
you. Did you get ridiculed when you
(10:26):
were a kid or something? No, but I just know what I think
of when I see other people run. Sure, when I'm driving in my car
and I pass someone running. If I'm walking the dogs and
someone's running. Anytime I see someone else
running and I perceive them running, usually my brain heavy
(10:47):
judgement. What's wrong with there?
Are you like? Do I run like that?
Yes. OK, so my thing is, I know how
heavily I'm judging other peoplerunning with their weird fucking
form or their lanky ass legs or their T Rex arms or their weird
gait, or they're going so slow that they might as well walk.
(11:10):
And it doesn't make sense that they're running because they're
literally going slower than someone else walking.
And what's the point of hurting your joints to go that slow?
You know, or, you know, those people that glide or the people
that have never made anything look harder.
Yeah. So I know that's what's going
(11:30):
through my head. It's there's one thing when
you're in public and you're like, it's freeing to tell
yourself no one cares, right? Right.
Hey, doesn't matter if I wear a new outfit tonight because no
one cares. In this sense, I can't tell
myself that because I know that I'm heavily judging others when
(11:52):
they run. Therefore, it makes complete
sense to my brain that if I passanother human being that's not
running, while I'm running, theyare looking at me, taking me and
perceiving me and judging me running.
And I that's OK with me because I do it too.
But I know that it is a time that people look at you and go.
(12:15):
But, and that may be true, how do you?
Do it. Sure, I think we as human beings
always look around and silently judge.
Sometimes we judge out loud, butmost of us silently judge.
Yeah. That being said, think of it
this way. When you see a weird like what
(12:36):
you deem a person who's running oddly.
Whenever you see that person runand you have those thoughts, do
you remember them 30 seconds later?
No. So that's why it's like, it's
not that nobody's judging you, it's they judge me and they're
(12:57):
going to forget about me in 10 seconds, you know what I mean?
Sure, yeah, but it's just I try to avoid people seeing me.
Well, I pulled home the other day and you were ending a run
and I saw you running and you run very normally.
(13:18):
You run very normally. I've worked on it.
I literally ran with our friend who coaches people to run and
had him watch me run and tell mewhat to do differently.
And he was very much like, yeah,your posture is bad and you run
on your toes. OK, what are you supposed to do?
Mid foot. And you're supposed to use.
(13:40):
You're supposed to use your butta significant amount to lift
your legs and not so much your back or your knees like you're.
It's supposed to be like coming from the hinge of your butt.
I see. Yeah.
And mid foot and not so much toes or heel.
Mid foot. So like in the arch?
Like you land on your arch. Like back.
(14:03):
Are you laying back just like like?
Behind your toe knuckle. Well, this is really good
podcast. No, we're describing it behind
the toe knuckle. Yeah.
Sure. Like right where the arch start.
Sure, and This is why I have a joke about looking up how to run
because I did do it. And then I had a friend tell me
how to run in person and was it embarrassing?
(14:23):
Did I get in my head significantly when he was
watching me run near him? Yes.
How are you feeling about the race?
The race. OK, here's the thing.
Or the marathon, I should say. It's not a race.
Well, it is because there's a finish line and people time it
so it is a race. I know I'm.
You're not treating it as such are.
(14:45):
You I'm just trying to finish. It you're not trying to get
first, right? No.
OK, I am feeling like the anonymity of being in a herd
will be helpful. Yeah, because we're just in a
herd of humans running near eachother.
And everybody will be worried about making it more than.
Looking around, right? No one's going to be looking
(15:06):
around at me. And then I am a little worried
about you watching me and our friend watching me from the
sidelines the whole time. We're not going to be watching
you the whole time. I know, but.
We're only going to see you. Intermittently.
Because if we were watching you the whole time, that means we
would have to run alongside you,right?
Or have a follow car. I'm feeling OK about it.
(15:31):
I just don't know how much of itI'm going to run versus walk.
We'll see. Well, I think no matter what
combination you do, it's going to be it's, it's definitely an
accomplishment totally. So it doesn't matter if you walk
or run, it doesn't matter how quick or slowly you finish.
(15:52):
I'm like worried about what to wear and stuff.
OK. Well, couple things.
I'm just going to be as transparent as possible.
Men normally have to worry aboutchafing in some.
Areas I know, but then I've never run this many miles in a
row. Do I have to worry about my?
Thighs. Well, thighs and other things.
(16:13):
It's worth looking up like on Reddit or something.
Yeah. Or if anybody listening has ever
done a marathon and has suggestions.
Marathon. 1/2 marathon but so how?
How long is 1/2 marathon? Then it's. 13 point something.
That's so easy, right? Yeah, just whip it out.
(16:36):
How? Long have you run.
I think the most I've done is 5 or 6.
Is that without stopping? Yeah.
That's really impressive. I mean, it was slow.
Doesn't matter. That's really impressive.
An 11 minute pace. OK.
I feel like that's pretty good. Yeah.
(16:58):
I just think I would, I would. I am not well versed in this
area at all, but I would stab a guess to say that you don't need
to like do the full 13 when you rehearse.
You know what I mean? Train.
(17:19):
No, I like rehearse better. When you rehearse, yeah.
Because I feel like you just, that's too much you, it's too
much in your body to do it multiple times before you do it.
Also, I, there's a guy I know atwork who ran, I think he ran a
full marathon and he tried to like train before and he did
(17:40):
train, but he tried like a full couple attempts and he ended up
with like really bloody feet. And so because of the shoes he
was wearing. And anyhow, so point being he
ran too much beforehand. So it was really painful when he
(18:01):
ran the actual marathon. So you don't want to go too
hard, I don't think. And then am I going to?
Have bloody feet? No, no, no, no.
You'll be fine because you, you got the shoes already.
You broke your shoes. Then this guy, he had different
shoes and then he got new shoes for the race and during the race
he got bloody too. And then he returned the bloody
(18:23):
shoes. No 'cause.
He was like, these obviously were not good.
They made my feet bleed and theytook them back.
EW, but they're all bloody. Jesus, imagine not having social
anxiety in your body and returning bloody shoes.
I would just eat it. I would eat the cost.
(18:46):
I don't think that I can even return a pair of shoes knowing
I've worn them. I can, you know what I mean?
Like, it's not. That's pretty extreme bloody
shoes. But anyway, I digress.
Bleeding. In something and then returning
it is crazy. Bold, I think you're going to do
a good job. Thank you.
I think that and I feel like I'mnot, I'm not making light of how
(19:11):
much work it is. It's definitely a lot of work,
but I think that you'll do a good job.
I feel like you'll get to the middle state of like I remember
when I was a kid and ran like cross country and track and
stuff. There would be a point where my
legs got so tired that I could like barely feel them anymore.
And that was actually when it was like the easiest to run
(19:35):
because it feels like you're gliding a bit I.
Just wish that I knew what Runner's high felt like because
I haven't felt it yet ever before.
You'll feel it. You'll feel.
I think you will. I think you'll feel it.
It's actually kind of cool when it happens.
You've felt it before, Yes? I feel like I've asked about
this. When?
Yes, when I was a kid, several times.
(19:56):
And what is it like? I used to place like first and
cross country 1st and track you.Talk about these days when you
would run and I just it's I've never seen you run.
You know, it's weird, I honestlydid it so much as a kid that I
feel like I'm like anti it now, you know what I mean?
Like there I didn't really. You're so jaded.
(20:17):
You're like, no, no the. High school football player,
that's like, yeah, I could have gone pro.
No, no, not at all. That's not what I'm saying.
But I did. I did do it a lot.
I just like ran so much that I just.
Can't run as a no no, but they're like the what I'm
talking about is real though. I think the one cross country
(20:39):
thing I did was like 6 miles or something or maybe 7.
And somewhere like 3/4 of the way in I you just get so tired
and so sore that literally like I said, it feels like your legs
turn into elastic and you're like how are they even moving?
And you just start like you start like going faster.
(20:59):
It's weird. It's weird.
What? Why have we Mr. Cross Country?
I would get first. I ran all the so much as a kid.
I had to hang up the cleats. What?
Why haven't you been more involved in my like training?
Because I don't know anything about it.
I don't know. I, I did it as a kid, but I even
(21:22):
when I was a kid, I didn't know anything.
But why haven't? You been getting me like
running. Tips.
Because I don't have any? You mean I don't have any tips?
So no part of you wants to run anymore.
The. Light has left your eyes.
Yeah, No, I don't know. I don't think so.
I don't. Yeah, I don't know, like maybe
(21:43):
in the woods. In the woods.
That's where the cross country meets used to be.
But like, would you run around the neighborhood?
Yeah, definitely. And track.
I didn't like track at all though.
No, I mean would you run here? Would I run in our neighborhood
now? No.
No. Why?
(22:04):
I don't like running on concrete.
What do you run on? I don't currently run at all.
I know, but what do you like to run on?
Formerly like on ground, like onlike in a park, on a field or
something, You know what I mean?Why are you?
(22:24):
What is happening? When you ran 6 miles, what was
it on? Dirt, grass, ground.
It's cross country. Grass.
Dirt. Yes.
I thought you run on a track. That's track.
So cross country There's no pavement?
No, you're running on grass. Or a trail.
(22:44):
Or like I said, dirt. A field you name.
It. Yeah, Why are you?
What is happening? This is a universal experience
that many children have. That's why it's cross country
and it's track and not all. I thought that cross country ran
on sidewalks and roads. I mean, maybe some places, but I
(23:06):
didn't. I've never seen people running
in grass. It was actually kind of cool.
Like I, I, I wasn't a fan of running track, like I said,
'cause it was on the concrete and stuff, but I like doing like
other track things like shot putand the relay race and things
like that. Cross country was actually kind
(23:29):
of fun because they would plot out the track.
Like like I said, through the woods.
You would like run this part andthen you're running through the
woods and like see, it's shaded.By.
Trees and it's kind of cool and there's deer over there and you
know what I mean? Sounds good.
OK, well now, now is the part ofthe conversation where you're
(23:50):
just like giving up? Whatever you say, man.
Well, I just can't. Again, I can't picture it.
I'm trying. I can't picture you being 5-10
but. I know, it's crazy.
You were at one point. I know at some point.
You've changed since you got that diagnosis.
Oh, but the whole point after the mortifying experience in the
(24:12):
store. Oh, right.
Barry, the lead. Said to you, to yourself.
Apparently I've been wearing a 91/2 shoe my whole life.
Apparently you guys I'm a 10 1/2.
Right. Again, not small, not petite,
giant feet. No, you're not OK here we.
(24:34):
Go I'm a monster. No, you're not.
Stop, you're so ridiculous. I'm a petite 59 whisper of a
person with 10 1/2 monster feet.That's also not what happened.
It's not even true that shoe size is way more all over the
place #1 go go ahead. I've been wearing how?
(25:00):
What have I been? Have I been hurting myself with
9 and a halfs? I don't think you've been
hurting yourself. I think sometimes you squeeze
into a nine and the nine's more like an 8 1/2, you know, and
that's that. I don't recommend, but no, it's
fine. That's just like I, it depends.
I, I think I told you this the other day, it depends on where I
(25:22):
buy shoes. I'm either a 10 1/2 or sometimes
up to a 12. It completely depends on the
place. Also depends on who measured it,
what tool they use to measure. Well, this is the Roadrunner
place with the a foot assessmentvideo.
I know, but they're not perfect.Well.
This is. I feel like this is my most
(25:43):
scientific measuring thus far inmy life.
They had you running on a treadmill in front of a window.
It's not a laboratory. They're, you know, the the good
people of Roadrunner. Yeah, you mentioned the story.
They're science. They're nationally known or
(26:03):
something. Maybe they.
Are. I think it's a chain.
Is it? Yes?
I don't know. But I think that scientists work
there, I don't know. Anyways, so big updates.
Sorry for that big escapade here.
But I'm shorter and larger somehow.
Yes, in the feet. According to you, I don't think
(26:24):
you've changed at all. We have bigger updates than my
height and foot size. That we do.
How do we even do this one? I don't, you know, Drum roll,
please. Drum roll please.
We have been debating for quite some time to make some changes
to the podcast use and. We're doing.
(26:47):
It are we are we on with the affiliates and that time is now,
yeah. And we're excited.
It's happening. We're not going away.
We're. Congratulations haters, you
lose. Yeah.
We are going to reformat slightly and change our name
(27:08):
because we're adapting to what our life has leaned into.
Yeah, we made mostly true opinions like 8 years ago now
and it's been a fun ride, but wehave more specific visions now.
Yeah. And I think, you know, as
(27:30):
listeners of podcasts, I like itwhenever people do something
with, like, a theme. Yeah.
And in the past, like our thingshave changed, life has changed,
the world has changed, but the theme is now, I think, going to
be a little clearer and I'm excited about that.
You know, if you don't have a clear theme, sometimes you
(27:52):
accidentally talk about the sizeof your feet for 25.
Minutes. I think that could still apply,
but I mean, I don't know. I feel like you should start
talking now. It feels weird that it's all me.
It's been well established that we what we see for our future is
(28:16):
continuing to hustle and entertainment and not have kids.
And we are really proud of our DINK life.
Double income, no children. And we're going to lean into
that and go to the DINK side. The DINK.
Side. Getting the dink.
(28:38):
Side I do want to say something.So this is going to be, you're
going to find this podcast exactly where you're listening
to the current 1. So you don't have to do anything
different. If you want to keep rocking with
us, do that and stay where you are.
And we, you know, are DINK lifers, as we've said.
(28:59):
But I just want to say for as much as we are proponents of our
lifestyle, we also have a lot ofpeople in our lives that have
chosen to become parents. Yeah.
And we love and support those people.
And we plan on highlighting those yeah, children that we
know that we like. Yeah.
(29:20):
So this is not, we're not going on a journey to like hate on
parents. No, we're just going on a
journey to highlight that it's also a totally fine life choice
to not have kids. Exactly because.
There's not a ton of positive representation for people that
choose not to have children. Yes.
(29:41):
And it's usually looked at as like, wait, what?
You're not going to do the thingthat everyone's supposed to do.
Right. And now that being said, too,
I'm not necessarily putting us up on the flag.
I'm not saying that we're going to be the Champions of like vote
for us dink community. I am OK, That's fine.
(30:05):
I'm just saying I don't think I can speak for all dink people.
You can all right? No, but I think it'll be fun.
It'll it'll be good. I'm excited.
If there was any office I feel comfortable running for, it's
the DINK presidency. So yeah, the DINK side, 2
incomes, 0 pacifiers. Yep.
(30:28):
We're work shopping, yeah. We got, we're gonna, you know,
got a slogan guy working 24/7 round the clock.
Yeah, punching the numbers. Sleepless nights, that guy.
He's just got a big old like chalkboard that he's whipping up
ideas on. It's going to be fun.
We're going to be have more specific segments, probably a
(30:50):
little bit shorter, succinct episodes and biweekly.
Yeah, we're going to go. To but that bi weekly can mean
twice a week. But that's not how we mean it.
No, we mean twice a month, everyother week.
We had a whole episode dedicatedto this that we did.
That word means two things. We did.
(31:11):
So we mean twice a month. Twice a month, every other week,
the idea there and I don't want to like I feel like am I getting
too in the weeds on it? Inside baseball?
No. Whatever.
Tell the people. The the thought there is like,
we just want to bring you more like focused episodes.
Yeah. And you know, also to support
(31:31):
we, we love doing a podcast, butalso don't want to only do a
podcast. Right, because we're going to
learn more into couples content and our own content on social
media. So definitely follow us on
TikTok and Instagram. And I think a lot of people, you
know, have question us selling our house and moving.
(31:51):
But maybe there's been like a question mark above some
people's heads about it. And we're making a lot of life
changes to to clear up space forus to do what we love to do and
having fun and doing silly, stupid shit and videoing it or
doing a podcast about it and allthat.
(32:12):
Like, that's what we want to do.Yeah.
So now we're going to have more time to do it, and I'm excited.
I think it'll be really fun. Hell yeah.
So thanks for sticking around. Yeah, or not, it's up to you.
Stick around. But do it.
Oh, you're going to. Want to stick around?
Dip a toe in. Subscribe on.
Patreon, you're going to be $20.00 an episode.
(32:34):
No, just kidding. Just.
Kidding. Just kidding.
No, the dink side coming to you.Our first episode will be in two
weeks from now. Yeah.
What is that September? 8th sure, if that's.
What you say it is then? I think so.
I think so. I think it's September. 8th.
Yeah, I'm exhilarated. But I in general.
I don't know that. The Jude's will ever fully die.
(32:58):
Should we give him a Jude for the road?
What do? You think Judy would want get
ready? You know.
(33:20):
We went to see a movie, as we do, and we went to see weapons
which. I was.
Exhilarated to see, I was looking forward to it.
One of our best friends worked on the movie in the legal
department. Got to see her name in the
credits. Very cool.
(33:40):
Goosebumps. Very.
Proud of her. Worth it?
OK. Absolutely loved seeing that.
Very, very fucking cool. All right, separate that
thought. OK, very cool, iconic stuff.
Hell. Yeah, Fuck yeah.
I would see it again just for that.
And I would stay for the creditsjust for that.
Sure. Separate thought.
(34:05):
What? I feel like I'm on a typewriter.
Enter, enter, Enter. Yeah.
Separate thought. Everyone's raving about weapons,
right? What does it have on fucking
Rotten Tomatoes? Like 99% or some shit?
No, I think it's like. I think audience is like high
seventies. Oh, I thought.
When it first came out, you werelike, it was 100%.
(34:28):
I mean. It might have when it first came
out. Well, that's all I was.
Hearing was that it was getting like perfect scores or whatever.
Let me look when it first came out anyways, so if you haven't
seen it, I'm going to say some spoilers so you can feel free to
turn me off now if you have seenit stay or not, whatever.
(34:49):
It's the movie about the witch that like puts a spell on these
this classroom of children and puts them in her basement.
What 94 critics? 85 audience OK, that's too high.
It's too fucking high in your. Opinion 94 from critics.
Yeah, 94%. You're just giving away
(35:11):
participation. Trophies at this point they made
a movie applause like are you fucking kidding me?
So OK, I was in. I mean, I think if every movie.
Had a 95% score then yeah, I feel like every single.
Movie we've seen in the last sixmonths, you're like it has a 97,
it has a 98, it has a 95. I feel like they're all getting
(35:32):
a pluses is. Gen.
Z. Scoring these what does Gen.
Z have to do? With it, aren't they the
generation? That's getting just the
participation trophies for beingalive.
No, that would be millennials. I don't.
Know that I got a participation trophy for being alive I.
Was ridiculed. Anyway.
(35:55):
And cast aside. Anyways, the movie as a whole, I
was in. I was like, oh shit, I was
holding my breath. I was like so invested in the
plot. The actors are great.
All of it's pretty great for themost part.
And then the ending is a flaccidDick.
(36:17):
It is. It's a flaccid Dick of an
ending. The ending is insane.
What the fuck is the point of anything?
I don't care. Listen, I'm OK with an ending I
don't like, OK? I'm OK with an ending I love.
I'm OK with an ending I hate. I'm not OK with a flaccid Dick.
Make a choice in between. Make a fucking.
(36:39):
Choice. So at the very end, they the
kids eat the witch in the front lawn and you think, oh, they ate
her and the little kid reversed the spell.
Great. They're all going to go back to
normal and go back to their families.
OK, cool. Nope, they eat her.
(37:00):
The spell is not somehow broken.And then they the voice over
quickly wraps it up and goes so the kids are still eating soup
and some of them learn to talk again.
And then somewhere, somewhere, someone's feeding that kids
parents soup and then it cuts toblack so they're.
(37:23):
Still fucking? Vegetables.
They can't speak. The curse wasn't broken.
They ate the witch. Either they all die or they're
all better but don't say oh she died but now they're all still
vegetables and they're all stilleating soup and can't talk.
(37:45):
It's fucking weird. They didn't make a choice, they
waffled in the middle of a choice.
So the bad guy died and the kidsare with their families, but
they're still vegetables. Either don't find the.
Kids, the kids die. I would have been also OK with
everyone dying at the end. I I'm going to.
(38:07):
Let you finish and then I in a pile.
Like or the kid, the kid, the main kid that was feeding his
parents soup and everyone was inhis basement or whatever.
His aunt was the witch, the mainkid, Alex.
I would have been fine with it if he like fucked up the spell
and everyone died or something. You know what I mean?
(38:32):
Just any strong choice, but it was a flaccid fucking penis of a
fucking choice at the end. And then it just cuts to black
and I'm like, we just wasted twohours of our fucking lives
again. Yeah, here we.
Are OK, what do you. Well, hold on judgement to the
plaintiff, shove your weak ass ending up your asshole and I'm
not going to see your goddamn movie anymore.
(38:59):
OK, now what? I.
Bring forth some information about the ending of this movie
that has come to light since it's been out.
Oh, you know what? The best punch lines are when
you have to explain them. Oh wait, what does that have to
do with? This, that.
I am. I'm open to hearing your new
(39:21):
information. OK, you're prejudging.
Stop prejudging. No, no, no, I'm saying.
That when you have to explain a movie, it's not as good.
So it's just not what I'm doing.OK, what?
So you're prejudging? OK, go ahead.
You're coming at. Me with the heat and you.
Have no idea what I'm going to sign.
What's the new information? They did test.
Screenings of this movie and theoriginal ending has no
(39:43):
voiceover. The original ending ends with
the kids going out and eating the Ant.
And then the dad. Like grabbing his son and
running off and fade to black. People.
Had a problem with. It and test screenings.
People were very upset so they added the voiceover.
(40:06):
I hate the voiceover. So.
You would have enjoyed it better, yes, if they just.
And here's a lesson. Stick to your fucking guns.
And don't. Listen to the bitch.
Ass test people, have you ever heard?
Of little pussy ass hearts because.
Hang on, I hang. On I have been to test screening
of a movie before where a guy said it needs more tits and ass.
(40:30):
So it's not just as you said, a bunch of pussies, the test
screening people. Are always it's like you're
asking a bunch of people from like the next door app to give
their fucking opinion of like who are these people?
I think the larger. Point here is because sometimes
you're going to have great people, sometimes you're not.
(40:52):
So was it someone from? Like South, have you ever heard
of the? Phrase death by committee.
No. So that is.
That applies to this situation, which is essentially, if you get
too many people's inputs, oh, I've heard you're going to ruin
it. Too many cooks in the kitchen.
It's the same kind of thing. Right.
In the creative world, it's like, let's say I paint a
(41:13):
painting and I am, I'm trying tofinish them 95% of the way there
and I invite 20 people over to tell me how to finish it, right?
It's going to ruin the painting.Exactly so.
You have to stick to your fucking gun.
Just have to go for it. And don't.
Get what? Why do test screenings to begin
with? Studios.
Do it to protect their investment, Sure.
(41:35):
So some people from fucking South Dakota were like, I don't
get it. What's the end it?
Doesn't. I mean it's.
But that's the thing, it could be, it could be anybody.
What do you mean they ate? Her, like I said.
What was the confusion? That they didn't like.
I don't know if it was confusion.
As much as it was upsetting. That they don't know what
(41:58):
happened to. The kids after so it was more it
was. Better for them to know that the
children are still vegetables, Iguess.
I don't know. But the weird thing is like, I
don't, I don't know for a fact, but if I had to guess, I would
say they did the test screening,they made the adjustment and
then the movie went out. I don't think they do a second
(42:18):
test. Or maybe sometimes they.
Do. But in this case I don't know.
If there was enough time, I don't know.
Yeah, well. I have fucking notes, but in
general. There are exceptions to.
This rule, not to be a snob, butin general when you hear a voice
over in a movie like narration, it's because something had to be
explained because it wasn't goodenough in the script, you know?
(42:42):
Right? But anyway, I digress.
Interesting, I thought. You'd find that interesting.
Though I do I. Do find it interesting and I I
don't know that it makes anything better.
Because they still. Waffled and they still crumbled
and they. Does it make it better knowing
that? The the ending you prefer was
(43:04):
there at one point. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is. I feel like this is this needs
to get to the film makers. Yeah.
Hey, man, you should have stuck with it.
Hey. Listen, sister.
Listen, you should have just done it and now.
And now, unfortunately for us all, the verdict was you have to
shove it up your ass. And the unfortunate.
(43:25):
Thing too is that sometimes people stick to it and it sucks
yeah, but then at. Least at least you had
principles, yeah. But then the last season of the
Game of Thrones, for example, it's like, I think the reason
nobody talks about Game of Thrones anymore is because that
last it ended so horribly well. So it's like that can.
(43:46):
Happen but yeah, at least you respect it Listen, they just did
it Yeah, it's bold. Anyway, here we are.
Well, this is a. You know how it should end.
Yeah, we're not going to add voice over to this ending, but
thanks for being along for the ride, y'all.
(44:09):
I'm going to stick by my guns. Fuck that shit.
Yeah, and this has been real. And and that was my mostly true
opinion. And yours we.
Love you we're. Excited for this next chapter.
Thanks for being along with us, and it's not goodbye.
It's see you on the dink side. Yeah, I see.
(44:30):
What? You did there.
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