Dancing Around the Ick

LOL

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hey, imagine that, two millennials doing a podcast to
avoid legalizing the purge. Yeah, probably because they
can't afford therapy. This is mostly true opinions.
Hello. It is mostly true opinions.
I'm Cameron. That is KDK Comedy.
Welcome to the program. Welcome to the show.

(00:24):
The white smoke comes out the chimney.
What is it? The Pope is dead.
What is the the smoke? I don't know, but wow, what a
note to start on. Now listen, I'm a man of the
people. Close personal friend.
Close personal friend Pope Francis that I met.
That's right. Along with 2000 other people at

(00:49):
the Vatican. You did?
Yeah. It's, it is crazy though,
because I just one of my favorite movies from last year
was Conclave and that's about selecting a new Pope and it was
nominated for an Oscar and now this is happening and literally
this movie tomorrow comes out onAmazon prime.
The timing of it's very. Weird, I also saw that
yesterday. The actor that's selected as the

(01:12):
new Pope got verified yesterday on social media.
Interesting. OK, yeah, sorry, I guess I
shouldn't have started with. That it is a weird known.
It's not like, first of all, Pope Francis hot fire.
May he rest in peace, our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name, whatever you want to say.
Yeah, great. And sad that he's gone.

(01:39):
We're also not like deeply religious, so it's not like we
have a hot take on his death. No, no, hot take.
It is one of those things, though, that like it it it
unites the world. Like, yeah, I'm sure a bunch of
journalists and everything are on their way to Rome.
Right now, isn't it insane that he died on Easter Monday?
It's a little wild. And then I didn't realize Easter

(02:00):
had a Monday. Like I thought it was always
Easter Sunday and that's it. Why are we talking about Monday?
It's possible that we've talked about this before on the
podcast. Yeah, I think we did last year.
But it's it's still confusing, still weird and and a lot of
people like have it as a holiday.
Also grew up Catholic, how do they select a new Pope for real?

(02:21):
They that I actually think you'dlike the movie quite a bit.
They get a bunch of people together, but.
You spoiled it for me 'cause then I know the whole thing is
that well. I don't want to ruin it for
people. I mean, it's the spoiler.
Wonder was can pass considerably.
That it's a person. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is trans, right? It's a trans Pope.

(02:43):
Yeah, but the, the, it's, it's an interesting process that they
gather a group of, I believe Cardinals and stuff and there is
a conclave. People are put in a hat and they
keep voting and voting and voting until somebody has
essentially all the votes. It has to be unanimous.

(03:03):
I believe. But it doesn't, it doesn't start
that way. And it's very political.
Like people will, you know, pullfavors.
And it's like a lot of people want to be the Pope.
Is there an interim Pope? No.
So there's just going to be no Pope till they vote.
They get in that room immediately and they don't
really leave. It's.
Like a jury duty situation. Yeah, believe me, they like stay

(03:26):
the night. There and everything until they
decide they. Close the doors and windows.
What if there's Pope duties thatneed doing while there's an
interim moment? What's someone?
To do to happen fast. Fuck.
Also where do you go after Pope Francis?
Are they going to overcorrect again and get like their version
of Trump in there? We'll see.

(03:46):
I don't know like. He was so chill and so cool.
He was. I mean, everyone has their fault
flaws. I don't know everything about
the guy, but he was pretty progressive.
Yeah. It is interesting, though.
Like I said, it's one of those things that unites the world.
I remember when it happened whenI was a kid, I was like, whoa.
And then they show the footage of the chimney or the smoke

(04:09):
coming out of the Vatican and oh, whoa.
They selected a new one. What?
Yeah. It's.
Kind. Of like when the queen passed
away, you know? Yeah.
It's interesting, but at least then they know who's going to be
queen next. True.
Like it just automatically the power transfers, right?
Oh yeah, whatever. Queen Charles, Yes, he's.
A good boy. Interesting.

(04:32):
You know, a crazy thing happenedthis weekend.
An insane thing happened this weekend.
What? Frankly, I don't know how the
local news has not heard about this.
Stop. I know you're.
KDK Comedy saw a double feature.And this weekend I saw three
movies. Total 3 movies this weekend.
In a theater, In a movie theater, not, not just at home.

(04:56):
I believe, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, I believe
you're converting. No.
I think you're kind of starting to become a movie person.
I thought OK. I think I'm working on it.
Here's the It's paying off, finally.
What I thought that too. And then, and then we saw
Sinners and I decided I wasn't amovie person, that.

(05:18):
Doesn't mean that. Listen, first of all, if you
didn't like sinners, you're justwrong.
Second of all, I'm countering myfirst point.
Second of all, you don't have tolike everything you see to be a
movie person. I know, but I think that I was
like really leaning in this weekend.
So first we had a date night to see the 30th anniversary of Dumb

(05:39):
and Dumber. Incredible.
At Vidiots which is video rentalspace that also has a has a
theater and they in Eagle Rock, CA old movies and it's super
cute and this was somehow after what, 13 years of living in LA
for me. This was my first time going.
Mine too. And you've been here longer?

(06:00):
Well, there's a lot of places that are similar.
Like, there's the New Beverly, there's what's now called Brain
Dead Studios on Fairfax, There'sa bunch of places.
We got to go to that What's? That I always peruse the
calendars that they update once a month.
But there's a great website thatI just found recently that
you're the one that told me about Dumb and Dumber.
But there's a great website I just found recently that covers

(06:23):
all these things. It's called Revival Hub and it
shows all the movies being screened at like those type of
theaters. That's cool.
Yeah, yeah, it's pretty neat. Bless you.
Thank you. SO we were out already.
And then they were like, oh, we have a smaller room theater
that's showing a documentary downstairs or down the hallway.

(06:46):
And it was like, what, 30 persontheater?
Yeah. Probably about that, yeah, maybe
25. And it was the documentary about
the people in Rhode Island that lived in a mall for four years.
It's called Secret Mall Apartment.
Secret mall apartment. Exactly what it sounds like.
I had never seen this on the news.
You said you did see it on the news.
I did, yeah. And we watched that.

(07:09):
It was fantastic. We watched 2 freaking movies in
a row. I was the one that was like,
let's stay, whatever. I it weirded me out of bed.
I didn't know how to respond. To it at first you were like,
no, it's OK, we can go and I waslike I could tell you did want
to see it and I was actually kind of like wait, I want to.
It freaked me out of bed. It freaked you out and then the

(07:29):
next day. I didn't realize this till
today. Ironic that we saw sinners on
Easter getting no. I get it.
I mean, come on. I mean, it is.
Yeah, sure. It would have been.
More, I think that was by design.
It would have been more ironic if it was actually about the
devil. Sure, spoiler.
I mean, I'm not going to spoil. I mean, we can.

(07:51):
I mean, I know. Whatever.
There's a pretty low risk scenario here, I think, OK.
Anyways, yeah, no one's coming to this podcast for movie
recommending. It's also Monday.
It's fine. OK, 'cause people have leaked.
Up my rule is like if something happens on Friday, like Thursday
into the weekend, you're going to start talking about it on

(08:13):
Monday. OK, anyways, I there's so many
things that happened with this situation.
When we originally saw the trailer, I was like Nah.
Right. OK, then you saw it, couldn't
say enough good things about it,Said It's a perfect movie, said

(08:36):
You teared up at the end from how good the movie was as a
whole, not because it was sad, but because it was so good.
Then Said also reiterated that that it got almost a perfect
Rotten Tomatoes score for both. Critics and audience.
Right, 96 and 98%. 9098 and 97. Or whatever.

(08:58):
Yeah, so almost perfect from critics and audience.
And we adjacently, we have a friend of a friend that is the
editor. And then you were like, you got
to see it. I can't wait to see it again.
This is quite the build up. Indeed it was.
It was quite the build up. I'm talking about your build up

(09:20):
right now. Right.
But I'm saying this is I'm walking you through emotionally
what was going on for me. OK, go ahead, go ahead.
So I do think this is a scenariowhere the build you you really
you built it up a lot for me. OK.
And I was seated ready for the most perfect movie I've almost
ever seen. And whenever I said, but I don't

(09:42):
get it. I didn't love the trailer.
So like you think it's the trailer didn't depict it well?
Yeah, it didn't. Upon seeing the movie, The
trailer did the best it could do.
I agree. The trailer took the only
exciting moments in the film andput them together in 2 minutes.
See, this is the flaw. This is, I knew you were going
to go down this road. I was very nervous about taking

(10:02):
you to see this movie. And wait, I was trying.
To share my passion, I will. OK, No, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't go down this road because can you tell the people
listener, honey, yes, last nightdid I even peep a peep about?
My opinion? No, no, no.
I didn't say one peep. By the way, I'm not saying this

(10:24):
is not hear me when I say this. I'm not saying that you have
wronged me in some way. That's not what I'm saying at
all. It's a very vulnerable position
for me to be with you, getting you to go see a movie that I
really liked. But did you know I didn't like

(10:44):
it during it? Yes.
How I can just tell, I can tell by the way you're reacting.
And I knew going in there's about AI would say a 35% chance
that you like it. What?
Yeah. You were like, you're definitely
going to like it. Because what happens often times

(11:07):
is I will say something like that, or I'll say I don't know
if you're going to like it. And you get offended by that
because you're reading that as me saying you don't have taste.
That's not what I'm saying. There, I wish you would have
said there was a 35% chance because then maybe my
expectations would be lower. But I feel like you would have

(11:29):
gone in like to prove me right or something.
I tried to go in being as I mean, I, I represented certainly
what I felt about the movie, butI didn't want to like, try to
force you into liking it, but. You teed me up and I was like,
so convinced. I wasn't even like, sitting

(11:51):
there with an arched eyebrow andcrossed arms like, we'll see.
No, no, no, I don't think. So I wasn't like, we'll see if I
like this. I went in like, fuck yeah, I'm
ready. I was like, I'm so pumped to see
this. Do you think you would have felt
differently had you not seen 2 movies already this weekend?
No, I don't know. I mean I don't think so, but

(12:14):
somewhere around minute 50 of talking and nothing happening, I
was like hello, this is the difference between.
Between you and I, talking in a movie does not equate nothing
happening. In every sense, the first full
hour they bought a building and talked to 30 people in

(12:37):
individual scenes. There's so much character
building and so much tension building.
That nearly didn't pay off. No, I disagree.
Disagree. This is a here's the thing.
You are entitled to your opinion, OK, but you're not
going to convince. Me I also.
Nor am I going to convince you, in my opinion.
The consensus of the world is that I'm wrong because everyone

(12:59):
else set almost gave it 100% so clearly everyone else loves it.
So I guess I'm in a camp alone and I'm not digging my heels in
like that monkey movie I never saw or what is the other movie
that I did a whole episode saying if you like it.
The Iron Claw. Yeah, or there's, there's been

(13:20):
multiple. This is not falling in that
camp. I don't think it's horrendous.
I just don't think it's perfect and I don't get why everyone's
obsessed with it. I and on from my perspective, I
think it is a nearly perfect movie.

(13:41):
It was so fucking slow Oh my Christ.
I I don't agree. I don't agree.
Whenever we're talking like cut the fat, like you don't feel
like there was just like, what are we?
No, I don't on this one. I don't agree.
I don't. I don't.
OK, I don't think there was. There's many times.

(14:01):
Musical, the musicality, all like well, and then there's a
part at the end that I also thought was like, cheap.
That's fair. I thought it because it's like
you. OK whatever, that's fair.
But spoiler alert, if you haven't seen it, don't listen to
the next 3 minutes and skip forward at the end when Michael

(14:23):
B Jordan and Seinfeld come back in.
Yeah, Haley. Yeah, and he's old now.
Yeah. You're telling me they spent
hours trying to murder him and then smash cut.

(14:44):
Let's cheers a whiskey together and let you live.
Yeah, yeah. They're vampires, yeah, but why
are they? They can control their urge to
kill someone. Of course they can.
Of course they can. They were invited in and they
sit and choose to cheers a whiskey and say Nah it's all

(15:04):
good when they spent the whole time trying to kill him and all
his friends. Yeah.
I'm not again. I'm not going to convince you
I'm not. There's nothing I can say.
That's going to make you feel differently about it.
I would have liked it better if we ended on the scene of him
being old, playing jazz in the club and not had them walk back

(15:26):
in. That's fair.
I think that was cheap. That's fair.
I don't know if I would considerit cheap, but I think that's
fair. Because it was like, we don't
need a Pretty Little bow. It can be that he just grew old
and whatever. We don't need to see that
they're besties now. I don't know anyways.

(15:46):
I again I you're completely valued.
I know this isn't a movie critique podcast, it just we saw
three movies this weekend that never happened.
What do you think of Dumb and Dumber?
Well, that's not a fair. It was good.
What? Do you mean that's not a fair?
Because now you're pivoting. But anyways, I think it was.

(16:07):
Can I wrap up my thoughts? Oh, I thought we wrapped up on
sinners. OK, whatever.
I think it was a well directed, acted, produced, edited like
it's a good piece of art. I don't think the story was
great and I think it was really fucking slow.
That's fine. That's the beauty of it.

(16:29):
OK. But I think the difference is,
from your perspective, it feels like when you experience that
you'd no longer want to go. Do you know what I mean?
I feel like there's only a certain amount of times you've
you can be had in a movie theater before you just never go
again. I.

(16:51):
And that is what makes me nervous about recommending.
So when I was in the theater andI was like, how long should I
take in the bathroom? Like I there's so much talking,
like, you know what, I that kindof energy.
Yeah, when I was in the theater,I was like, I might need to not
see movies for a few weeks. Like I was like, I don't, I

(17:13):
think I outdid myself this week.Like I was, I was like, how soon
can I see another? Movie.
I mean, I love going to movies. I saw four this weekend because
I saw Cinders twice, technically.
I cannot believe you watched it again, like right in three days.
I loved it. I am happy for.
It the second time, but but if II see them a lot, I love seeing

(17:36):
them. I think 3 in a weekend is a is a
pretty tall order. It's a lot of sitting down and
like, yeah, being patient. So I get that.
You kept being like, it's not about the devil, it's not about
being possessed. The glowing eyes and like the
all the religious stuff. It did start feel I was like

(17:58):
this is the devil. Yeah, I know, I know.
It's a mislead. Also, in general, I would like
to state for the record, becausewe glossed over this after the
movie, I knew you loved it and you loved seeing it again.
So I didn't say a single peep inthe car.
I didn't say anything. And then you were like, you
didn't love it, huh? And I was like, no.

(18:19):
And then I didn't dig into it atall because I know you liked it
so much. Yeah.
So I didn't like shit on everything you like.
I didn't say that. I just feel like sometimes you
paint the picture that I shit onyou.
No. OK, well, I didn't.
No, you didn't. Dumb and Dumber.

(18:39):
Solid, I mean. Honestly, that makes me happier
of if if there was of the two, if there was one I'd I would
hope that you would like more than the other, it would be that
one. My take away because I thought I
had seen it. It's one of those movies.
What is it? The effect where you think
you've seen something or the? Butterfly effect.

(19:01):
Mandela. Effect.
Where you've seen the name so many times that you think you've
seen it? Yeah, I thought I genuinely was
like, oh, it's been 20 years since I've seen this movie, but
I have seen it. Turns out I haven't.
I felt the same way about that one we saw a couple months ago,
10 Things I Hate About You. I Yeah, I was like convinced for
years that I had. Seen it.

(19:22):
I had not seen it. Either no, right?
And that was great. Anyway, so this was the first
time I'd seen it. I was pleasantly surprised.
I thought it was going to be waymore like, oh hey big tits
right? Like the humor was going to be
so outdated. Like American Pie?
Yes. Yeah, I thought that's what it
was going to be and it was superlike genuine and innocent and

(19:43):
not like that and not really crass.
I. Couldn't agree more.
I mean I it's stupid. It is.
It is purposefully stupid. But it's like lovable, like the
characters are lovable. Yeah.
And I think like the the thing that I've always take away.
Leaving that movie is why why can't we just make some stupid

(20:05):
shit like that now? It all has to be like super
celebrity driven or, you know, even if it's a comedy like,
let's say The Hangover, there has to be a bunch of CGI and
special effects and all. They go bigger and funnier and
wow and crazier. And it's like, yeah, just we
just don't be a simple comedy. ROM coms.

(20:28):
Where did those go? Those are dead, too.
I know. So anyway, it was fun, though we
did enjoy videos a lot. I realized, and I love this
about a video store, the recommendations, the staff
picks. Anytime I went to a Blockbuster
as a kid, it would say like, youknow, staff picks on a shelf and

(20:48):
I'd have like Fred and a DVD boxsitting there and whatever.
I love that. That's good.
I I'm not a staff picks girl based on everything we just
said. But that's the beauty of it that
like some people have very, verydifferent opinions.
Like imagine you worked at Blockbuster, what your staff
picks would be. Those are valid.

(21:09):
I know, but I'm saying I barely trust your staff picks.
I can't trust a stranger. Well, maybe you could.
I just like the idea of like rolling the dice on something,
you know what I mean? And I like to roll the dice on
like an appetizer, not on a movie, you know what I mean?
If I I want to roll the dice noton 2 1/2 hours of my life.

(21:31):
Does that make sense? Yeah, that's fair.
I don't mind. It it's not again, I didn't it
didn't ruin the rest of my night.
I didn't I wasn't in a mood towards you or resentful.
I just was like, well, so it's not like I'm one of those people
where if my sports team loses, it ruins my day or week.

(21:54):
So if I see a bad movie, I'm notlike, you know, you know, the
people that if their team loses,they're like in a fucking mood.
Yeah, I do. We don't have to live in the
extremes though. I know, but I'm just saying I'd
prefer to roll the dice on a restaurant or food.
Yeah, that's fine. That's understandable.

(22:15):
And less on like a piece of entertainment.
Would you ever drive down the street and see a place and just
go, oh, let's try dinner there without looking it up?
Yeah, I do, yeah. Yeah, some people don't.
Whenever we're in other countries or cities, we just
walk around and then eat somewhere.
Yeah, people like. There's a lot of people that
need to see the reviews and the photos.

(22:36):
No, no. And I get that, but like, I
don't know, it's so fun to just sometimes you have a shitty
experience, but you get a story out of it.
Yeah. Like the time we went and got
ramen, you had a silica gel packet in the ramen.
Yeah, you know that. We always we have that memory.
And now we know silica gel is not actually very toxic.
Frankly, it's good for you. I did have.

(22:58):
There was something interesting that got brought up when we were
at the movies, though. They showed a trailer for Final
Destination and you said you can't watch that movie.
No. And have you?
So you've never seen any of them?
No. And why is that?
I might have seen like one of the first ever ones whenever I

(23:19):
was in high school, possibly again.
Mandela Effect. Anyone that's listened to this
podcast even for like 7 seconds remembers the times that I've
thought there's a gas leak, I think I have a concussion, I
think that there's something deadly possibly happening to me
all the time. So for a hypochondriac, seeing

(23:44):
people die in freak accidents isjust going to make me look
around and think where that could actually happen in real
life. Constantly.
Every single time I'm driving behind a truck that has
something in it, like a truck bed that has a ladder in it or a

(24:05):
wheelbarrow or a mattress or anything, I am like there is a
99% chance that flies out, hits my windshield and Spears me
through the head. That is true.
You always say something. I always say get out of the lane
because this is the time it happens, you know what I mean?
I constantly think about that. I'm always thinking about freak

(24:26):
accident ways to die. So why would I go subject myself
to thinking about more new ways you could die?
I totally get that. You know.
I have the opposite POV on this one too.
You're like, oh, that would never happen to me.
It's almost that. It is almost that, but I, I

(24:47):
think it's super fun to watch it.
And then you're like you're, it's almost like a, you know,
those like in highlights magazines that have the spot the
difference pictures where it's like, here's this picture and
there's six differences in this picture.
You got to find them all, you know, Oh, they're wearing a blue
shirt and this one instead of a red shirt or whatever.
I think it's similar to that forme where I'm watching the movies

(25:10):
and I'm like, Oh my God, what inthis room is it going to be?
You know, I think it's like super fun.
Oh, yeah, I don't know, but I get what you're saying.
I get what you're. Saying even watching the trailer
made me uncomfortable. Like I'm still thinking about
broken glass. I gotta show you the the other
trailer for it I saw it's. Like I know the one in the

(25:31):
tattoo shop. Oh, did Oh, you saw that?
That's. Right, alone with.
I was in a theater alone watching that one and I texted
you. The final Destination trailer is
the worst. I hate it.
Didn't I text you alone in the theater?
You did, and I don't disagree. That one was horrifying.
It was really different. Right.
And the all these scenes are in the same movie and I'm supposed
to sit and watch it? No, I see.

(25:53):
I think it's, I don't know. I I get it.
I think it's fun. Though since I've never seen one
of them, is the whole thing every single scene someone's
dying. Not every scene, but it's kind
of, I would say it's a similar pace to like a musical.
You know, not every minute of a musical is is a song, but like,
you know, when 1's about to be set up, you know, I think

(26:16):
they're fun. It's a nightmare.
Do you judge me for getting emotional after seeing sinners
the first time? Does it give you the ick?
No, I just wish I got. That's not comfortable for me to
hear. No, it doesn't give me the ick.

(26:37):
I just don't get it and I wish Igot it like I wish I got it.
I love seeing it a second time. The first time I my soul was
vibrating. That's the only way I can
describe it. I like felt the movie through my
veins. It was.
The music. Part all of it.
The entire thing. I loved it.
Loved it. That's why I was tearing up

(26:57):
because like, people made this. That was like, yeah, yeah, Oh my
God. That was my reaction at the end.
Like holy shit. OK.
Are you trying to like twist theknife here?
No. I'm not trying to twist the
knife, but it is. It's the topic of conversation
Scott brought has been brought up several times.

(27:19):
Recently you've been crying at everything.
Including when we watched The Amazing Race.
I just feel like, do you feel like you've been more emotional
than ever this year? I think that I have.
You. You're.
Crying. I've always been emotional.
I've always been a very emotional person, yeah.
Which is a good thing. I think that this this year I've

(27:41):
kind of allowed myself to be like, I feel like I suppressed
the emotions for several years because I was harshly judged on
a daily basis. And aggressively bullied.
Now I'm allowing myself to like lean back into it and I like it.
Makes me feel good. It does throw me off when all it

(28:02):
takes is an episode of The Amazing Race, and by that I mean
there's only been 7 episodes so far in the season and you've
cried at six of them. Can I admit something to you?
A couple weeks ago you were out of town for something.
I forget what and I watched the the World Series documentary of

(28:25):
the Dodgers winning this past year OK on Apple TV.
And you cried. And the part, you know, the the
first game where Freddie Friedman gets the Grand Slam and
walks off and whatever I was like when I watched The Amazing
Race, I tear. Up right.
I mean, tears come down your face.
I was, I was like, legitimately sobbing.

(28:48):
I was, I was like, so moved because.
That's more understandable than a reality show where people are
racing through. Country, Well, it's, it's all
there's a lot of similarities onthat one.
Like he hits the home run, whichis like emotional because it's
like such a the energy of the stadium and, you know, whatever.

(29:11):
Yeah, but after he hits home plate, he runs up to his dad in
the stands. Oh my.
God, and they like are screamingat each other.
They're so happy. And I was just like watching
that. Oh my God.
And on The Amazing Race, it's often the the kid parent
scenario. It's always a father son or a

(29:34):
father daughter. Or mother, daughter.
Or mother daughter I I'm happy that you're in touch with your
emotions and you were allowed tocry at a father and their child.
I think that it when we're both watching something and there's a

(29:57):
specifically a father daughter relationship, it puzzles me.
Out of We've talked about this before.
Out of the two on the pod, out of the two of us, one of us has
a strained relationship with their father and the other has a
very good relationship with their father.
And it puzzles me why the one with the good relationship is

(30:21):
the one that's moved to tears constantly.
I think, I think the, the, they're touching moments, right?
And I think they hit me even harder knowing that that is your
reality. Or, but OK, that's what I'm
wondering. Are you crying like in my honor,
or are you just crying because you like to see parents?

(30:45):
I think it's kind of all the. Above, love their children.
I think it's all the above. I think I honestly what makes me
more emotional than anything. We can move on from this after.
Sorry. I the the commonality between
all of it is just like humans humouring with each other.
Do you know what I mean? Like when I see the the movie
and it's like, oh, it's because all these people got together

(31:06):
and made this movie and they didit so well together.
And on The Amazing Race, it's like these two people travelled
the world and they're they'd what a life experience they
shared together. And father is proud of son and
vice versa. I don't think it makes it
doesn't. None of this gives me the ick.
I'm happy you feel your feelings.

(31:27):
I just think it makes me feel like I want to be in on it.
You. Can be.
But I also am not going to forcemyself to cry.
Obviously you. Don't have to force yourself to
cry, I think. I just want to feel the same
feelings and then instead I lookover and I'm like, are you good?
I think you you just need to be cozy with the feelings.

(31:48):
I yeah, I shut them down, I think.
But anyway. I go, Oh no, I'm feeling a
feeling. No, no.
Go go on now. Go joy.
Anyway, that's my crying story. Yeah, multiple crying stories.
Big news in this household yeah,you are in the top 9.3% Oh yeah

(32:13):
of only fans creators. I don't even know I first of
all. Guys, I didn't know they did.
Point point percentages. I'm in the top 9.3 and I've
never shown my butt hole. What?
Honestly, call the local news ormy team, has this ever been
done? It's pretty incredible.
That's. Is this possible?
I don't know how many Only Fans users do you think there are in

(32:35):
the world. I don't know.
I have 5000 fans now. I hit a milestone.
You have 5000 fans, damn. Well.
And we didn't buy a Maserati today.
Whoa. How many only fan users are
there if you have to guess. Users or creators?

(32:55):
Well, users 1st and then I'll docreators.
Users, I'm going to say 15,000,000. 305,000,000 Wow,
that's a lot and now. You're making now 5000 fans?
Sounds like shit. No it doesn't.
That's a shit ton. OK.
And then this is as of March, the estimate is at 4.1 million

(33:19):
creators. I mean, that's.
Still, that's incredible. Wait, what's in the top 9.3% of
4.1 million creators? What, like how many people are
in the top 10%? You know what I'm saying?
Four. Well that wait, this just means
I'm in the top 40,000. But 350,000?
Just kidding, that's still a lotthough.

(33:42):
I took crazy. That's crazy though.
I think that the more we ran thenumbers, the less cool it got.
No, it's I think the opposite istrue.
I think it's incredible. OK?
Like it's insane. For 90% comedy, 10% feat.
So you tell me. You got a little bit of

(34:03):
everything for everyone. I tried to do what I can to
appeal to the masses. Are you going to change your
strategy at all on Only Fans? To what?
There's still people that exist that think that we don't talk
about it like that. I have no idea that you have an
Only Fans account. Which couldn't be further from
the truth. But like, are you, you know,

(34:25):
like are you going to start offering, you know, you have
5000 fans, are you going to start offering them something
they can pay for? What do?
You out of the ordinary. What should it be?
I'm not even suggesting anythingraunchy, I I just feel like this
is an opportunity to Shark Tank something.
Like, OK, I'm open to pitches all.

(34:46):
Right. Send your pitches here.
I got to think of it too. I.
I know. Hit the music here and we'll see
if it helps. Did it spark anything?
No, but I'll think of it. There's something there.
You have an opportunity. I have 5000 people ready to pay

(35:11):
for exclusive content. And it's different than the
Instagram thing. Like technically on Instagram
and other social media apps, youcan say you have $5000.
On Instagram, you can start charging them for a subscription
to extra things, right? Yeah, that's different because
most people go to use Instagram for free because they know it's
free. I would say 90% of people that

(35:31):
go on Onlyfans expect to pay forsomething, right?
So I feel like you right? Right.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
I don't know what it is. Maybe you know the feet.
Feet. I mean, I'm going to post like
my headlining shows so people come to those.
Or is that creepy because then. No, that I think it's well, no,
I think it's OK, but I, I feel like that's a way of doing it.

(35:55):
But then also like, let's think there.
Needs to be some exclusive. Yeah, something exclusive I can
sell. Like, oh, you know.
Like if I was like that belchinggirl that could burp people's
names, that'd be cool. Something like Cameo.
I was thinking I could sell a roast like I could roast people,
but no one wants to buy that. I have disagree.

(36:16):
I have DM Ed everyone, I sent a personal a mass message to
everyone that sends individuallyto everyone all my fans and like
two people responded. Did you label it right?
As what? I don't know.
We can talk about it off the air.
OK. What did you just think of?
What's your idea? This is welcome to only fan
Shark Cake so you know how you do the feet thing.

(36:40):
Yeah, write their name on my foot.
Yes, or or write their name using your foot.
Like like on a cake that has icing.
You write their name in the icing.
With I need to get more creativewith the feet side, I think.
Yeah. Cameron, are you pimping your
wife out? No, not exactly.

(37:01):
That's not what I'm trying to do.
God forbid, but like that I feellike because I, I thought of the
TikTok thing right where people are like, oh, I'm drawing the
name or whatever. Behind every successful Only
fans foot model is a strong husband that.
Cries at The Amazing Race James Joyce James Joyce.

(37:23):
And this is a functional relationship.
Yes. Was that a joke?
Don't you dare try to prove it otherwise.
Was are you joking or was that sarcastic?
No, OK, I couldn't have been more serious.
I'm dead serious. I'm dead fucking.
Serious. Oh my God, we got to.
But what's my budget for like cakes?

(37:44):
I mean, if you charge like the cake thing, we have to go cake
shopping. Yeah, see what the options are.
I feel like Costco has a pretty good deal on them, maybe all day
too. Oh yeah.
And then or Walmart. Walmart sells little like little
cakes. Mini cakes?
Yeah. Fuck yeah.
Oh, you know what? I know what it is.
What? You order the cake with her name

(38:06):
and icing and then use your feetto destroy it.
That's so much work. That's it.
How much would you charge for that?
100 bucks a cake. 100. Hundo because I think you can
get the cakes of Walmart for like 5 or 10 bucks.
The little ones. OK so 100 bucks.
We can think of more, we'll think of more stuff to do.
Hey, if you're listening right now and you want that, I will do

(38:29):
it. We'll give you.
A. A Most of your opinions discount
of 10%. OK, only fans takes 20%.
Give you a mostly true opinions add on of plus 10%.
Yeah, wow, that's cool. There's something there.
There is something there. I know I kind of was vulnerable

(38:53):
and showed my emotional side butevery now and then I have a
toxic masculine thought. OK.
And I had one this past week, and it was a TikTok trend about
a year ago. It was a TikTok trend about a
year ago, to be fair. OK.
But I've had a lot of time to think about it.
And I think my answer remains the same.
So somebody asked me this weekend, if you're on an

(39:13):
airplane, everyone on the airplane, airplane passes out,
do you think you could run into the cockpit and land that plane?
The answer is abso fucking lutely.
That's insane. I think I can do it.
OK. I think I could do it based on.
What? I science, you know, physics.

(39:36):
I feel like I'd I can feel what the plane needs to do.
Yeah, I pay. You don't know the buttons.
Yeah. But they're all labeled and what
do you really need to know otherthan hit autopilot?
And then when you're when it's time to land, you got to turn
autopilot on. You just like throttle it back,
keep the nose up. Ba ba ba ba ba landing gear to
shove it down, pull the E brake,bada Bing bada boom, you know?

(40:02):
OK. Part of what is fueling this
though is there's a guy on TikTok I saw who purchased one
of these. I didn't know they existed.
It's a small personal aircraft, technically an airplane that you
can get for about 30 or 40 grandthat you do not need an FAA
license for. And he flies it from his house.

(40:23):
He lives in like a rural area like in Illinois or something.
Where you're legally allowed to take off.
Yes, and he flies it like from his house to his friend's house
because they both have like, youknow, 3 or 4 acres of property
and he just lands in his. How is that legal?
And because you could just kill people.
I got to show you this thing. Honey, you could just kill
people. But I that may be true, but I

(40:45):
feel like I he. Could be endangering so many
people because he flies needlessly.
What does the full thing look like and why?
Why is he barefoot? I don't know.
Arrowlight one O 3 is what it's called.
Look at this. Are you kidding me?
And that's legal? Yeah, and you don't need a

(41:07):
license to fly it in the air. No.
And if you look at like the cockpit and the controls and
everything, it's very rudimentary and looks very
simple to operate. It looks like he's windsurfing,
basically. Look.
At that thing. But if he ran, if he crashed
into someone's house or ran intosomeone's car or landed weird
and ran into someone, they wouldbe dead.

(41:29):
I don't get it. I don't get how it's legal, but
I kind of want one at some point.
What are the comments section onthis?
Comment section. Damn I want this but I don't
know how to fly. This is how I'm going to pull up
to the function. How do you land that thing?
So he's not a pilot. No pilot license, but I need a

(41:50):
license to fly my drone dot dot dot funny.
Yeah, that is crazy. No, this guy isn't a pilot.
Are you ready for this? He bought it off of somebody on
Facebook Marketplace. OK, but also to have the balls
to just go up in it because you don't know how to do it till
you're doing it I. Know, I know you got to kind of
hand it to him, but God I won't is.

(42:11):
He just like some redneck with four teeth that like doesn't
like. No, he he seems like a pretty
normal guy. Because you're going to tell me
he had again, the toxic masculinity to be like, I could
do this with no training? Here, look at them taking off on
this one just in a dirt patch. And how many feet do you need in

(42:33):
a row to take off and land? Oh, it doesn't look like that
much. This is awesome.
I want to go. I want to do it so bad.
It looks so fun. OK, you're really dancing around
the ick today. Dancing around the ick.
Because I'm gonna. Write that down.
You sure you crying? You crying at Amazing Race?

(42:54):
Not an ick. You crying at a random movie
that I didn't love? Closer to you thinking you could
land a plane with 0 training. Much closer to do.
You think you could do it? No.
I absolutely think you can do it.
What? Yeah, I have faith in you,
unlike the unlike the reverse. Roles here you're just doing it
to make a point. No, I OK, I jokes aside, I

(43:17):
absolutely I die when adrenalinepumps through your body.
I believe that you could figure it.
Out you don't just get better athand eye.
Coordination, yes, you do. You start being way more.
You're like, I feel like you zone in and you're perceptive
and you just like, I feel like you.
You, I feel like would do it better than me.
You didn't hear my point that I'm not even good at Frogger.

(43:40):
I did. And you think I could?
Land. I do.
I absolutely think you could. I'm sure pilots listen to to
this conversation and love everything they hear about it.
It doesn't take years to figure this out.
Fuck you, but I think in an emergency situation.
It's like when people tell me like, oh, people tell me I
should be a comedian. And it's like then do it.

(44:02):
I disagree. OK?
There's very little situations where it's like, hurry, go tell
a joke or we all die. You know?
It's not really. You'd be surprised.
You don't know, You've never. Seen so many lives before.
I've saved so many lives. Anyway, I think I could do it,

(44:24):
but I think you could too. OK, great.
I have faith in you and I love you and that's that.
Are you ready to Jude? Yeah.
Yeah, Do you get it? Listen to me very carefully.
I know everything, you're more. You are an.

(44:46):
Example of why people should have to take tests before they
were allowed to have children. Do you get it?
We went to Gentle Barn again this Easter Sunday and we
volunteered and Cameron got the donkeys again.
Sweet, sweet sweet donkeys and Igot stuck with the bird brain
turkeys. What's wrong with the bird brain

(45:07):
turkeys? There's nothing wrong.
With it's whatever, they're fine.
I don't. I actively dislike them.
I just don't connect with them as much.
Sure. Because again, the Turkey of it
all, you know what I mean? Yeah.
I just don't feel a sole connection with the turkeys.
I want to protect them. I want to help them.
I want to be their sweet volunteer.

(45:29):
The volunteer coordinator did say, do you want to permanently
be with them? And I was like.
What did you say? I said.
Hang on, I think I have a clip of it here.
I hope you get asked cancer and die, you son of a bitch.
I'll cut your throat. I'll come to your house and kill
your children. No, I did not say that.

(45:51):
I said I'm happy to be wherever I'm needed, but I would love to
rotate and try connecting with ahorse or a donkey.
Yeah. And she said, OK, And we'll see
if that happens because I've kind of been saying that hinting
at that for weeks now. Come on.
And I keep getting with the turkeys.
So, you know, anyways, like yourdonkey fell asleep on your

(46:18):
shoulder. It did.
And my Turkey walked away from me with a middle finger and sat
in a corner. You know what I mean?
It's just like, I get it. I just need to feel like there's
a reciprocal love. And when I don't feel that I'm
like like like one of our cats, I don't feel like it's a

(46:38):
reciprocal. And so I tried and tried and
then I was like, got it. We just exist near each other
then. I think you need to be a little
kinder to yourself there. I think you you still try on a
regular basis. Sure, but I don't feel like as
connected. Sure.
Which I think is normal. Totally.
It'd almost be sociopathic if I was like felt super connected

(47:03):
and it's like not coming back tome, you know what I mean?
It almost be like what's your fucking problem?
I hear you. Anyways, I was up in the upper
barnyard area with the turkeys and I heard a dad say to his
like 16 year old daughter, so like a full blown adult daughter

(47:25):
and say is being here making youhungry?
Meaning doesn't looking he meantlike doesn't looking at the
lambs and turkeys make you want to eat Jesus?
Like that's how he meant it. Because I saw I was like, am I
just being sensitive? And then I saw another random

(47:45):
stranger turn around and be horrified.
And then I saw yes, I saw and welike made eye contact and I was
like, did you hear that? And it wasn't, oh, we haven't
eaten since breakfast. It was, is being here making you
hungry specifically? And then he was like pointing at
a Turkey. That's so effing weird.

(48:05):
I Why are you there? We ate meat.
I ate meat for 33 years of my life.
OK, right. I never looked at a live cow and
felt hungry. No.
No. That's not how that works
typically. Think, oh, I'm craving a burger
when I looked at a cow. Although we had a friend

(48:28):
previously who actually used to say that.
Do you remember that? We previously had a friend that
would be like, yeah, when I drive by cows, I get hungry.
And she turned out to be. Hang on one second.
Oh, that makes a lot of sense. And it turned out to be.
It makes a world of. Sense so very frustrating and

(48:54):
weird thing and I I'm mad at myself for freezing 'cause I
wish I would have called it out but he was like within earshot.
I mean, what are you gonna? Say, but he 'cause I think I
would have been like, weird fucking thing to say, man, I.
That's fair. I would say that to someone
while it's I'm not getting paid for this, I'm volunteering my
time. I don't give a fuck.

(49:16):
I'll call someone out for being a fucking weirdo also.
Then I'll tell the I'll tell theowners what he said and they'll
be, they will put me on their shoulders.
Are you kidding me? I would get AI would get minutes
of applause. I would be there.
They would hand me the keys and say what?
Yeah, what a fucking weirdo. You own this place now anyways,

(49:38):
judgement to the plaintiff. Shove your weird fucking
comments up your goddamn asshole.
Do you get it? What?
You know, I'm brought to tears again right now from laughing.
I've sat across from you for many years now and done this

(49:59):
podcast, and I think tonight is the first time I have truly
appreciated how big your eyes get during the Judge Judy moment
of the week. Really.
How far in fact they don't bug out of your head, but the whites
of your eyes become so large. They can retract, yeah.

(50:19):
It's pretty incredible. You can retract your lids and
it's it's honestly exceptional. Good thing we didn't get this
one on video. What's the beauty of it?
We're going to do it again and again and again.
Yeah, true. There's a lot of your eyeballs
on video. Yeah, it's enough.

(50:40):
We get it. Well.
You have a good week everyone. By the way, a good friend of
mine just told me today that sheis removing her nephew out of
her will. Oh fuck yeah.
Would you like to guess the reason for that?

(51:02):
Oh, oh, oh, did he not like sinners?
Yeah, he did not. Like sinners.
So say goodbye to our friend Raymie.
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